Crosspost from Habibi Halaqas

by Anonymous



To Allāh belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things. [Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49-50]
 


It is the way how this Dunya rolls and it is the way how Allāh SWT has designed this Dunya to be. You may have something that other people have. And you may not have something that other people do not have.

Single people want to get married (and fast) because they think that's the only part of their religion that's deficient. Married people want to have children (and fast) because they think the only way they could truly be happy (and successful) is by having children. People with children want them to have the best of everything in this Dunya.

People with the best God-fearing children fear that their children would end up as failures in Dunya. And people with not-so-God-fearing children fear for their kids in the Ākhirah aspect. Married people want their freedom. Free single people want to be tied down in a commitment.

So the issue here is that we have to accept that regardless of what we want in this Dunya and regardless of whether or not we get it, we're still going to want more. And more. And so much more.

I've got proof:

On the authority of Anas b. Mālik, may Allāh be pleased with him, who narrated that Allāh's Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If the son of Ādam had a valley full of gold, he would love to have two valleys, for nothing fills his mouth except dust. And Allāh forgives him who repents.” [Sahih Bukhāri, Volume 8 Book 76 Number 447]

I mean it's alright to want all those things because that's how Allāh SWT created us.

It's perfectly normal.

'Beautified for mankind is love of the joys (that come) from women and offspring; and stored-up heaps of gold and silver, and horses branded (with their mark), and cattle and land. That is comfort of the life of the world. Allāh! With Him is a more excellent abode.' [Surah Āle-'Imrān, 3:14].



But being focused on those things only in this world is not a healthy way to live in this Dunya. Your camera of life should not be zoomed onto this Dunya. A true Muslimah has foresight. She can see farther than that. Her eyes should be on something much better than all the pleasures of this Dunya. Allāh SWT continues the above verse:

'Say: Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keep from evil, with their Lord, are Gardens underneath which rivers flow wherein they will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from Allāh. Allāh is Seer of His bondmen, Those who say: “Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire.” (They are) those who are patient, those who are true (in Faith, words, and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allâh. Those who spend [give the Zakât and alms in the Way of Allâh] and those who pray and beg Allâh's Pardon in the last hours of the night. [Surah Āle-'Imrān, 3:15-17]



Allāh SWT promises you a kind of happiness that does not end. A promise of a Garden, your home inshaa'Allāh, for which you don't have to pay any bills. A husband or a companion who's physically and spiritually devoid of anything negative and unpleasing. And Allāh SWT's Pleasure! Imagine that all that time you gave up things fearing Allāh SWT and seeking His pleasure…in Jannah, how relieved you would be! That Allāh SWT is pleased with you eternally. But to be able to achieve all that one will have to do the following according to the verse above:

  •  Ask for forgiveness for sins and seek refuge from punishment of the Fire
  • Be patient
  • True to Deen in actions and words
  • Obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allāh SWT
  • Spend Zakah
  • Pray and beg Allāh SWT's Pardon in the last hours of the night (Qiyām al layl)

Dear Muslim Sisters: just because you don't have children, it doesn't mean that you are:

  •  The only one being tested
  • The only one who does not have a certain type of blessing
  • That there's something 'wrong' with you

What is worse is that people may start pitying you. Some people start making up stories about you. You don't have time to waste if people do as they say these things. And you certainly don't have time to waste your life thinking that true successful marriage should be equated to children. As long as Allāh SWT did not say that, who are YOU to adopt such a definition? Worth thinking about. Isn't it?

What this also means is that just because you don't have a child right now, you won't have one forever. If it was easy for Allāh SWT to create Ādam AS without any parents and 'Īsa b. Maryam without any father, then do you think it is impossible for Him to bless you with a child?

What about the story of Zachariya AS who was very old and his wife who was barren? He said: “My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age.” He said: “So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!” [Surah Maryam, 19:8-9]

So what is it then which is preventing Allāh SWT from blessing you with a child?

Some reasons could be as follows:

–> You and your husband can't handle a child. Maybe it'll divert you from the Deen of Allāh SWT! Remember the story in Suratul Kāhf  in which Khidr killed a boy because he was going to oppress his parents when he grew up?!

'Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him.  Mūsa(Moses) said: “Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukr” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!” (74)”And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief. (80) [Surah Al Kāhf ]

Think about that! And Allāh SWT does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.

'Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned…' [Surah Al Baqarah, verse 286]

–> You and your husband's past sins. Now it doesn't mean that those who have kids are righteous people. Not at all. But when one faces a certain challenging situation, one must look at oneself and see why is that certain type of Rizq is not coming my way? Rizq includes money, kids, spouse…in fact it includes everything that Allāh SWT bestows us with. Here's a solution in the Qurʾān :

“I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; 'He will send rain to you in abundance; 'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.' ” [Surah An Nooh, 71:10-12]

Here Prophet Nooh AS proposes one key method to get rain, increase in wealth and children. And that one key method is Istighfaar. If you really want kids, you may want to focus on creating a routine of Istighfaar. Of course, most of you want kids. Would most of you end up asking for forgiveness?

–> Allāh SWT wants to choose you for Himself. What I mean by that is, often times our hearts are filled with love for people and things. Once those people and things no longer reside in our heart, then only we have room for Allāh SWT. One can never have Allāh SWT and love for this Dunya in their hearts because we all know that hearts are like any other vessels. So we end up then pleasing those whom we love, forgetting the One who granted us the object that we loved and the emotion of love itself.

'…And of mankind are some that set up rivals; unto Allāh they love them as with the love due to Allāh. And those who believe are strongest in love of Allāh…'[Surah al Baqarah, 2:165]

By not granting you kids, Allāh SWT does not want you to waste those emotions over kids. Instead He SWT wants you to love Him more than anyone else. He want to empty your heart from all other types of love which shackle you and make you weak and He wants you to love only Him. Him Alone. So much so that your eyes only see the Guidance He SWT has sent, your ears hear what He SWT wants you to hear…He SWT does not want you to get distracted. He wants you to be focused on the greater purpose of your creation…

Makes you love Allāh SWT more, right?

I mean imagine the situation of Aisha RA. She did not have any kids. But you know what? She ended up teaching and guiding millions and billions of kids. She was not only a mother because she's the Mother of Believers…she lived up to it by caring for those who came to learn from her just like a mother.

So what if you don't ever become a mother? Can't you channelize that love and guide other people's kids? Can't you become a mother to those kids who are orphaned? Can't you be a form of mercy by educating other kids to become great Muslims?

Think about it! Think about the reward!

You may not become a Khadija, who gave birth to all Prophet's kids but you then get the chance to become Aisha. Khadija, may Allāh SWT be pleased with her, raised excellent kids and we know all the wonderful qualities she had and all the beautiful ways she contributed towards advancement of Islam. But she didn't get the chance like Aisha RA, i.e. to teach the Salaf, to become a Faqiha. Why? Because Allāh SWT gives some people some blessings while others, other blessings.

What's important to remember is how would YOU utilize the blessings that you have in His Path?

One way to be content with whatever comes your way is by having good expectations of Allāh SWT. If Allāh SWT made things happen, then know that they are good for you. You may not know but Allāh SWT does because He SWT loves you more than you or anyone can love you.

“Allāh `azza wa jall said: 'Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware'.” [Tabarani]

So be content and leave everything to Him.

Because He SWT knows what we want and He SWT knows when to grant us what we want. Or sometimes whether or not to grant us those things. For He SWT knows best.

***

Some duaas that you can recite daily (all from Qurʾān ) to be blessed with righteous offspring and/or rectify the state of current offspring:

  •  Surah Al Baqarah, verse 128
  • Surah Āle-'Imrān, verse 38
  • Surah Ibrāhīm, verse 40
  • Surah Al-Furqān, verse 74

And how can you ensure that Allāh SWT listens to your duaa? Look at what Zachariya AS and his wife are described as doing:

And (remember) Zakariyya (Zachariah), when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahya (John), and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us. [Surah Al Anbiya, 21:89-90]

But always remember:

'And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us (i.e. pleases Allâh), but only he who believes (in the Islâmic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds (will please us); as for such, there will be twofold reward for what they did, and they will reside in the high dwellings (Paradise) in peace and security.' [Surah Saba,34:37]

Why's that? Because:

'Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds, that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. [Surah Al Kāhf , 18:46]

May Allāh SWT make us content with what He has Decreed for us and bless our Ummah with righteous offspring. Ameen.

And Allāh SWT knows Best. Please remember me in your duaas.

Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Love,

From a sister who cares.

34 Responses

  1. ourdialogue02

    Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
    Salamualaykum
    Nice to topic, may Allah bless the writer, i don’t have a wife not to talk much less of kids but eachtime i think of the pain the women without kids go through words fail me to describe it, espicially the stigamatisation, espicially when you are coming from traditional nigeria. May Allah bless our muslim sisters (and mother in laws) with sabr and tawaqalah.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  2. amatullah

    JazakAllaah Khayr Ya Ukhti! 

    May AllahSwt bless you with fiqh of His Deen and make your path to His Jannah easy!

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  3. June

    Assalamu alaykum,
    It’s uncanny how relevant this article is to me. And the thing is, I hadn’t been on MM for several weeks and when I look in again this is the first article on the front page. It’s still not an easy pill to swallow but I thank you so much for writing this.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  4. Abu Yusuf

    Salaam Alaykum, I understand the message and gist of the article but the title still isn’t appropriate. It’s almost an affront to Khadijah (RA) upon whom Allah Himself sent Salaam through Jibreel. Khadijah (RA) was at a station much higher than Ayesha (RA) and she was our Rasool’s supporter and one of the four perfect women in history as our Rasool stated (Maryam, Asiya, and Fatima being the other three). Khaijah (RA) was as perfect a wife as one can imagine. She had wisdom in how to deal with her husband and she was the luckiest woman ever to be the companion of the best man in history. So the title that says “….not a Khadijah” is something that personally offends me and saddens me.

    On a side note, the ayah about Zakariyyah and his wife made my spine tingle. What excellent slaves of Allah they were!

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

    Reply
    • G M

      Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      I think the purpose of it was to compare to incredibly honored women-two of our mothers who performed excellent actions, although their excellent actions were different. 

      Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

      Reply
      • Aishah Schwartz

        Reading outside of the box always helps.

        Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  5. Merium

    Maybe He (SWT) wants you to take an orphan under your care instead of having your own :) It’s an option that is not often discussed, but needs to be addressed! People worry about mahram issues but there are possibilities of taking in a baby under 2 and inducing lactation to breastfeed (using medications). http://www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/induced_lactation/protocols4print.shtml

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  6. Zamzam Bayian

     

    Jazak Allah khaira. Your article reminds me of a sister on whose story I
    always reflect. She hadn’t children for a long time, and kept praying that
    Allah would give her children. At the end she ended up having 5 children three
    of them have life-long serious health problems. Sometimes, I ask myself
    “Would this sister hope to have children if she knew in advance that she
    would have ill children?” But after long contemplation on her story and
    many other stories I encountered throughout my life I realize that the best
    thing is to accept what Allah grants us with certainty that it is the best, and
    not stopping from asking Him the best in this worldly life and the hereafter
    for He is rich, and generous.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  7. Nuraini

    I have a friend, who is still unmarried. It is not because she is choosy, even though her father (who has now divorced her mother) has tried to match her with questionable people (as in seemingly mentally unstable) that he met through facebook or something and won’t let her ask questions about the candidates. I mean, aren’t there any candidates who are, well, sane? Fortunately she is financially independent and isn’t desperate to marry. Anyhooo, the main reason she is unmarried is because she is the only person who is looking after her sick mother, ferrying her to and from hospital for many medical treatments and supporting her overall, seeing as her siblings have cut and run (we have families, you’re single, so you take care of her) and her father has divorced her. So she cannot accept a husband who is going to take her (the only sustainer of her mother) far away from her mother, or won’t let her visit her mother. Thus far she has NOT FOUND A SINGLE MUSLIM MAN willing to marry her under those terms. Thus she chose looking after her mother. 

    Now I think this is a noble thing she is doing, and there is nothing in Islam that looks down on this choice. In fact, by right if we today had an abundance of real Muslim men, she would have no shortage of men rushing to the charity of a sick old woman who is mother of someone who is a kind, cheerful, loving woman – in itself a prize for a wife. But to my surprise where she comes from this is looked at as a poor decision vs just marrying anybody, and just let her mother’s situation “sort itself out” or “you’ll figure it out afterwards”. I mean, yes, marriage is a very important and encouraged thing in Islam, but it doesn’t mean you must get married no matter what, no matter to whom, and no matter that it would hurt or cause others in your responsibility to suffer. She is having to be strong against so many naysayers just because she won’t leave her mother to fend for herself in her old age sickness. I know Allah will reward her for her patience. 

    There are many things that women have been in history that is approved in Islam. Maybe some of us are Khadijahs, some Aishahs, some Sawdah, and maybe some of us are meant to be Nusayba bint Kaab, the woman who stood by our Prophet with a sword and a bow in the battle of Uhud. 

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    Reply
    • Frostonfire

      asalamoalykum
      may ALLAH reward that women with good in this world and hereafter,i totally understand her situation,i am also going through the same thing,i don’t have a sick mother alhumdullilah,but i am not married and i have to hear taunts from people and mostly the society that we live in,i think its the same around the world, if someone is trying to do good or is making a sacrifice they are looked down upon,good is no longer appreciated as it used to be, only “results” are and the general attitude “if something is not right in your life ,then its your fault”well sometimes it is,but its not always like that ,there is a thing called “test” and something called “patience” and holding on and not letting go when required,i just pray that the muslims are guided and have a little empathy towards each other,…..i am not saying everyone is like that but society in general has become like that..we get all mad when something happens to muslims in a far away land (which we should) but if our watchman is hungry,who cares….

      Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      Reply
    • Frostonfire

      shouldn’t you ask her how old she is? what if she’s in her 20’s or 30’s?

      Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      Reply
    • Umm Miriam

       As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

      Would your friend be open to marrying a brother of a different race or nationality? There are still brothers who are pious who would appreciate a woman devoted to her mother, and on top of that, never married, mashaAllah, but they are of a different “race” (I put in quotes because all of us came from Adam, AS) from your friend. If she is open to that, she will probably find many brothers that practice the sunnah who would be extremely happy to have a pious woman like her as a spouse, inshaAllah.
      May Allah make her situation easy for her. Ameen.
      This was an interesting article, alhamdulillah.

      Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      Reply
      • abu bakr

        I Just was wondering why you told her this sentence and on top of that , never married , mashallah I just wondering what is the problem if she married with a married man

        Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    • um djamel

      she’s already got her hands full without having an elderly man to care for too!

      Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      Reply
      • Frostonfire

        i know right,seriously …. the part where she shouldn’t be “fat” really made me laugh :D

        Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  8. Gul

    Assalamu Alaikum.  JazakAllahuKhair for the beneficial article.  I really appreciate the advice.  May Allah (swt) give beautiful patience to all the sisters (and brothers) dealing with this painful issue. 

    On a related note, is it possible to get an article on the Islamic view of assisted reproductive techniques and their related issues such as freezing eggs, sperm, and embryos, and procedures such as removing tissue from testicles in order to extract sperm.  I read that it is permissible to do IVF if using the genetic material of the married couple and the wife carries the baby, but I’m unsure of these other issues.  What is the best way to deal with infertility?  Is it ok to pursue all permissible medical treatment available and try to be content with the outcome or is it better to not even try these extreme procedures, such as IVF? JazakAllahuKhair. 

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  9. sfletcher

    This comment is absolutely beautiful may Allah reward you… indeed it is Allahs love we seek and He is jealous of the hearts of His slaves and He does not want their hearts to b e filled with love for anything else, then He admits them to Paradise from His mercy where they will have children if they wish and then will have all that their hearts desire – may Allah make us among them 

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  10. Umm Ousama

    JazakAllahu khairan for the article. I am not sure it is right though to say that Khadijah (radhi Allahu anha) wasn’t a faqiha.Of course, most of the fiqh wasn’t even there because she died before the five daily salaat were ordained and salaat was the first thing that was ordained. When Allah sent her salaams, she answered: “Allahumma anta assalaam wa minka assalaam, tabaraktu ya zal-jalaalu wal-ikraam” 
     اللهم أنت السلام ومنك السلام تباركت ياذا الجلال والإكرام
    Isn’t this comprehending the religion in the best of ways? 

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  11. G M

    Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Jazzakallahu khair

    We need need to make the discussion of the meeting with Allah and the akhirah which is His our number 1 discussion topic.
    Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  12. Stay Afloat in the Ocean of Life

    […] h&#1072&#1109 forethought. Sh&#1077 &#1089&#1072n see farther th&#1072n th&#1072t. Read more &#959n MuslimMatters Category: News Info Tag: Afloat, LIFE, Ocean, Stay April 9, 2012 at 10:57 AM No comments […]

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  13. Muslimah

    Asalam Aleykum thanks for sharing, I realy like this article and it provides lots great of evidence and I learned a lot from it but  I don’t think it is right to say Khadijah  wasn’t a faqiha and that Allah wants you to become an A’isha and not a Khadija. The person who wrote has to know that most of the fiqh wasn’t available when Khadija was alive because she died before the five daily salaat were ordained. I love all the mothers of the believers with all my heart and I think there would’ve been a better way to write the title. Asalam Aleykum. 

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  14. um djamel

    Salam, very good article and a much needed one. The only comment i would like to make is that i wouldn’t even go so far as to speculate why or why not i wasn’t able to have children – it’s Allah’s will and for me that’s all there is to it! I don’t think it’s really productive to try figure out the reason for a particular consequence – positive or negative , but I do think it’s necessary to constantly evaluate and reflect on our lives in relation to our islam.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    Reply
    • an anonymous mom

      Salam.  I, too, felt this article was good and needed, but at the same time, I wonder about the propriety of guessing why Allah might test us.  I am with the sister who said that there’s such a thing as test and patience.

      I won’t go into all my personal details, but I have lived thru infertility for the better part of 20 years.  I felt I would never have children and resigned myself to that seeming probability, knowing that was a test, and thinking that perhaps Allah had other plans for my life.  Then, at a much older age, I was shocked to find myself with four children .  No one ever knows what will happen in this life, subhanala.

      Although I love my children very much and am very grateful for them, I feel the weight of the  huge responsibility in trying to raise them as practicing Muslims in the deviant dunya which surrounds us.  I painfully feel the guilt of all of my failings and shortcomings as a mom. Moreover,  I do not have the health and energy of youth, and I wish I could do more for my children………  I only mention this to show both sides of the coin.  In my many years of childlessness, I had supposed that  I would be a terrific mother and naturally raise good Muslim kids, as I had the guidance of Islam.  Now I realize starkly and plainly that guidance for my children is really only from Allah, and that any negligence from my side, as a parent, is nevertheless something I will face judgement on.  Alhamdulilah, Allah is merciful, and I hope and pray for His mercy.

      One of my children has wavered a bit, and though she seems on the right track now, it is still unclear how she will turn out in the end.  I keep thinking of so many things that perhaps would have prevented this situation, if only I had done a better job as a mother. Now  I can only keep talking to her and making dua.

      What I’m trying to say is that, for all of us, children are a big test–either NOT having them, or, HAVING them and then being responsible for their upbringing, which is not a light matter, to say the least.

      I feel sure that if any of my children strayed from Islam, it would be more painful to me than if they had never been born.  I pray they never will stray.  Dear readers, please make du’a for my children to remain on Allah’s guidance.

      Jazakum Allah Kheiran.

      Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      Reply
  15. 1066

    macha ALLAH this post is a blessing as i was really down today after thinking that i am husband-less and child-less and getting older. then i made a duah to ALLAH SWT and i stumbled upon this article. ALLAH does hear and answer our prayers indeed. so maybe this situation is what is better for my deen right now. Allahu a’lam.
    whatever it is alhamdulillahMay ALLAH SWT bless the writer

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  16. salam

    Asalaamualaikum, MashaAllah it was a much needed article that needed to be posted. I dont think anything is wrong with the title that maybe Allah(Swt) wants you to be Aisha than khadijah’ as in the sense that khadijah was blessed with children and Aisha wasnt yet she was still a great woman in Islam.
    Most people find out about infertility after they are married but when your a young single girl whose be told she wont be able to have children its hard test but a test to purify you by your Lord. Everything is in the hands of Allah and ive truly learned to beleive that if Allah is testing me with this then He has a greater plan for me, as upsetting as it might be, i know that im in Allah(Swt) hand. What is upsetting is when scholars and shiekhs as rightly so but still justify that a righteous man should not marry a barren girl as the prophet(saw) advised. However how do they know what the future will hold! InshaAllah may Allah(swt) test everyone with whatever they are being tested with and bless them further iA.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  17. Nasreencan

    Jazakh Allah Khair dear sister for this wonderful post. I will share this with my own sister who is not yet blessed with a child after 6 yrs of marriage and often gets impatient. Inshallah it shoud help her elevate her Imaan.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  18. A muslimah

    May Allah swt reward you with firdaws ya ukti! Just the things I needed to hear.. Mé and my husband have been trying to conceive in 11 years now. And Allah swt made it happened, when I Got pregnant for some months ago. But they discovered that the pregnancy was outside the uterus… So I have been struggling with those thoughts mentioned above, and what you give as a naseeha is so true Subhanallah…

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  19. Jamila

    Asalamualykum, beautifuk much needed article. I just had a question what advice would you give to a single sister who has been told for many years that she is infertile. Most people find out after marriage and i have full tawakkul in Allah as to why in being tested but it something in my mind and heart that hinders me from marriage and when i get the strength its not something a guy wants to consider especially when they keep repeating how the prophet(saw) said marry only fertile women and how UMar (ra) divorced his wives who were infertile?? May Allah(swt) make easy our test

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Reply
  20. Amel

    May Allah SWT make it easy for those who struggle with infertility. Someone close to me experienced this problem for many years and finally decided to adopt an infant with her husband. They are so happy now, masha’Allah. When I think of all the sadness and struggles they went through for so long, it is amazing to contemplate what Allah SWT had planned for them. Although I have children of my own, alhumdulellah, I feel a little jealous of the blessings they are getting for raising an orphan. They are truly blessed, masha’Allah. Not many Muslims consider this option, but I think this should change. So, if I could add to the author’s list, I would say:

    Maybe Allah SWT wants you to raise an orphan.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.