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Author Archives: Dr. O

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Hailing from New York, Dr. O is a current medical student who blatantly misappropriates his study time by posting absurd articles lampooning the weird things he often notices within the Muslim community. His articles often contain unhealthy doses of odd wit and humor, sprinkled with overly-pretentious medical-jargon, but covered in a sweet milk-chocolate coating of small sincere life lessons. Despite not actually having a medical license and pretending to impersonate an actual physician online, Dr. O aims to heal patients with just a tiny bit of bitter advice contained within a sugary pill of light-hearted laughter. He hosts his own blog, Muslim Medicine, at http://www.muslimmedicine.net.

10 Things you can do to NOT be a Terrorist

Dr. O blogs at Muslim Medicine, a site that strives to serve only the freshest grade-A certified ẓabiḥah ḥalāl comedy. Contact your local ḥalāl butcher for more details.   Recently the British Telegraph, known for their excellence in journalism and intrepid reporting about Germans with pencils in their heads and Alien sightings in Britain, posted an article about “How to ... Read More »

How the Grinch Stole Eid

Eid Mubarak! Read More »

Crouching Brother, Hidden Stalker

Dr. O blogs at Muslim Medicine, a site that strives to serve only the freshest grade-A certified ẓabiḥah ḥalāl comedy. Contact your local ḥalāl butcher for more details.   For generations, the age-old gender battle between hormonally-repressed stalker brothers and utterly creeped-out sisters has been waged from college campuses to Mosque common areas, and to this day you can usually find this war waged almost exclusively amongst ... Read More »

Top 10 Terrible Khutbahs (and what I learned from them)

sleeping

The Khateeb's killing it this Friday! …Literally. Dr. O blogs at Muslim Medicine, a site that strives to serve only the freshest grade-A certified ẓabiḥah ḥalāl comedy. Contact your local ḥalāl butcher for more details.  Every Friday morning, Muslims with a Y chromosome (and a bunch with two X's) around the globe get ready for their weekly trip to the Mosque for a sermon, or “khutbah” as ... Read More »

Who’s up for a Game of Angry Muslims?

Angry Muslims

To be honest- it isn't easy satirizing this issue because the dark jokes strike deep at a profoundly sad reality that we're now facing- that we as Muslims have done far greater damage to the name, reputation, and teachings of our Beloved Prophet [saw] than any inflammatory video, cartoon, depiction, or insult ever possibly hope to. Read More »

A Muslim’s Guide to Eid Gift Shopping

BAD-Eid-gift

Gift-giving is a highly-refined and deeply intricate art, and fortunately for you, here's a quick 5-step guide to show you the tips and tricks that’ll make your Eid gifts unforgettable this year. Read More »

5-Step Guide to Healthy Ramadan Weight Loss

Heffer-to-Prince-Ali

My dear brothers and sisters, Ramadan is finally here! That special time of the year where our divinely-ordained worship blossoms into a beautiful month of passionate devotion, rigorous spiritual purification, profound remembrance, deep self-reflection, unshakable inner tranquility, and selfless compassion. Read More »

5-Step Scientific Guide to Islamic Event Attendance

Fiqh of Swag event

What exactly is it that motivates Muslims to attend Islamic events? What makes an Islamic event look attractive (and I don't just mean the lame, "masha'Allah this is attractive, I shall go, yallah habibi." I'm taking about the holy-moly-mega-masha'Allah-lower-your-gaze level of Islamic event attractiveness that huge Islamic National Conferences get). Read More »

A Muslim’s Guide to Rejecting Prom Dates

Middletown_High_School_North_Hall

Amongst all of the wonderful things that most High School Seniors look forward to, there's one event that every faithful Muslim brother and sister utterly dreads. Read More »

A Muslim’s Guide to Facebook Arguments (and online ridiculousness in general)

Muslims getting heated online...? Oh please, how often does THAT happen?!

Not surprisingly, the internet is now the boxing ring for our new generation of Shaykh Googles and Mufti Wikipedias to profess their scholarly expertise and argue with one another with far more advanced tools of divisiveness, or as they say nowadays according to modern cyber tajwīd: "trolling." Read More »

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