Humor

Who’s up for a Game of Angry Muslims?

Published

September 26, 2012

Dr. O

Dr. O blogs at Muslim Medicine, a site that strives to serve only the freshest grade-A certified ẓabiḥah ḥalāl comedy. Contact your local ḥalāl butcher for more details.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce to you the latest twist in one of the most popular game apps in the world- Angry Muslims! A riveting game of royally-infuriated Muslim birds who delve into indiscriminate fits of rage and blindly launch themselves into any nearby structure causing massive destruction to both themselves and their surroundings for the sole purpose of killing a pig-like caricature of an enemy that just sits there and does nothing but snort stupidly from time to time.

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Sound like a wonderfully fun game? You betcha! For those downloading and playing it right now, it’s laughably comical to see just how far these Angry Birds are willing to go just to annihilate an enemy that no one else pays attention to or even cares about.

Did you even know that green evil snorting pigs existed in the first place? Probably not, until these lovably incensed Muslim Birds came out of nowhere and made the entire world realize just how ridiculously ludicrous their ignited anger seemed in the big picture.

Like any other popular app, after a few years or so, a new version of the Angry Muslims game gets released, and boy, their anger just seems to get bigger and bigger with every version! The game introduces new crazy Birds from different countries in each updated version, and the game-play just gets more and more indulging as people find that it really is amusing to pick on these easily-offended Birds out of a morbid curiosity to see what new threshold of anger they can achieve!

Shame about the pig enemies, though- they never really seem to change at all. They just sit there each time, doing nothing but making dumb snorts, and just waiting for the Birds to destroy the buildings around them, and then disappear into a puff of smoke.

Ah man, you can’t go anywhere in the world without people talking about these Birds and their anger! After the release of this latest version, it feels like the Birds have really secured themselves as being the most infamously infuriated out of all the other gaming app characters available on the market. That’s quite a feat, and I’ll bet you that reputation sticks with them for decades to come!

What a game, huh? Feels almost like a metaphor for something.

To be honest- it isn’t easy satirizing this issue because the dark jokes strike deep at a profoundly sad reality that we’re now facing- that we as Muslims have done far greater damage to the name, reputation, and teachings of our Beloved Prophet than any inflammatory video, cartoon, depiction, or insult ever possibly hope to.

How painfully ironic that after the Danish Cartoon controversy, we once again chose to answer the ignorance, anger, and hatred of others with even greater bouts of our own ignorance, anger, and hatred- defeating the entire purpose of defending our reputation, and handing Islamophobes their satisfaction on a silver platter.

We were taught better than this. We were given a tremendous gift of beautiful patience, enduring fortitude, poetic eloquence, iron-clad honor, and unwavering dignity in the very legacy of the man who we model our lives after. And despite our effort of defending the reputation of this noble man of the highest caliber of character, we blatantly ignored one of his most powerful teachings:

Abu Hurayrah relates that a man said to the Prophet : “Counsel me.” The Prophet said: “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request many times, but the Prophet kept saying: “Do not get angry.” [Sahîh al-Bukhari ]

How could an utterly worthless amateur video made by a cowardly hate-monger possibly cause even the slightest bit of concern to an honorable man who had patiently endured every manner of insult, abuse, and degradation spat at him, garbage and animal intestines dropped on him, thorns spread along his path, stones hurled at his face, death threats made against him, food and nourishment denied to him, and who was exiled from his own home? Despite suffering against such unimaginable depths of hatred and aggression, when did our Beloved Prophet ever react with wanton violence and destruction?

We’re given a faith and a shining example of character as the foundation of our belief structure. When provocative green pigs perch themselves on top of those foundations, keep in mind that nothing they do can possibly topple it- the biggest danger is when we launch ourselves in misdirected anger and destroy the very foundation we were trying to protect in the first place.

It’s a sad game that we don’t have to repeatedly play anymore.

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Dr. O

Hailing from New York, Dr. O is a current medical student who blatantly misappropriates his study time by posting absurd articles lampooning the weird things he often notices within the Muslim community. His articles often contain unhealthy doses of odd wit and humor, sprinkled with overly-pretentious medical-jargon, but covered in a sweet milk-chocolate coating of small sincere life lessons. Despite not actually having a medical license and pretending to impersonate an actual physician online, Dr. O aims to heal patients with just a tiny bit of bitter advice contained within a sugary pill of light-hearted laughter. He hosts his own blog, Muslim Medicine, at http://www.muslimmedicine.net.

9 Comments

Ab

September 27, 2012 at 1:23 AM

One of those hundreds games of Angry Birds just an entertainment ….please don’t take it seriously….It’s just a game dude !!!

Reply
Ahmad

September 27, 2012 at 2:02 PM

Amazing analogy. Very true indeed. May Allah guide us and blacken the faces of the offending pigs.

Reply
WAJiD

September 27, 2012 at 4:31 PM

Salaam alaikum,

While I do get that you’re going for a funny-ish take on things, but I have to disagree with your fundamental point.

It is NOT stupid, ridiculous or ludicrous to get angry at people insulting the Prophet (SAW.)
It is also NOT accurate that the Prophet (SAW) was a complete pacifist. There are examples in the Seerah where the Prophet (SAW) took action against those who denigrated him and certainly the same can be said of the Sahaabas.

However, does Islam promote random violence or destruction of property – no, of course not. But your article seems to suggest that just getting super angry and demonstrating that you are is wrong.

The Prophet (SAW) taught us when to be tolerant, but where the limits of tolerance are.

Reply
Joyce

September 27, 2012 at 11:39 PM

Salaam aliakum,

I believe that the instances where the Prophet was not a complete pacifist were extreme, after years of torture. Even the Qur’an says what means:
” Allah does not forbid you to be just and righteous towards those who did not go into battle against you (over matters of faith), and did not expel you from your homes. Deal with them justly. Allah loves those who are just.
[060:009] But Allah forbids you to befriend those who fought against you over matters of faith, those who either assisted others in driving you out of your homes or drove you out themselves. Those of you who befriend them are indeed the evil doers.”
Anything short of murder and eviction because of our faith alone I believe we are commanded to be patient with, and even in those cases, to have mercy in our dealings, and never be aggressors. A video is the furthest cry from this.
It is natural to feel hurt and upset when they offend Mohammed (saw), I feel that way anytime I see the Islamophobic websites when I am googling something, or i hear a negative comment. This is natural. But every year, for 29 or 30 days or more, we fast, in effort to learn some self control among other things. We need to put this to practice ( I remind myself most), and let the hurtful things roll off our back. Afterall, the Qur’an says:
“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘ To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’” ( Quran 28: 55).

Reply
Syrenarc

September 28, 2012 at 9:06 AM

People are saying I believe this.I think that. I wonder where is the opinion of our scholars and not the scholars of these weak times. I’m talking the four schools of law type scholars. It seems that they are of the opinion that cursing the Messenger gets the death penalty.

Ibn Taymiyyah (رحمه الله) says in Mukhtasar As-Saram Al-Maslool `Ala Shatim Ar-Rasul (Summary of The Drawn Sword Against the One Who Curses the Messenger) Pages 31-33, “Whoever curses the Prophet Peace and Blessings be Upon him, Muslim or Kaafir, must be killed.”

Al-Khattabi said: “I don’t know of anyone who disagrees with the obligation of his killing.”

Muhammad Ibn Suhnoon said that: “the scholars are in consensus that the one who curses the Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) is a Kafir; and whoever doubts his Kufr is a Kaafir.”

The issue here is there is no outlet for this anger, no way to get justice for the prophet and so people are reacting this way. And then on top of that, there is so much confusion about what the right thing to do is. We should be careful of changing our religion to make other people happy or to fit in.

Reply
Chris (Muslim revert)

September 28, 2012 at 1:32 PM

Christians and other religions need to stop mocking each other, but I agree with you.

We all Muslims should act like our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had done, so others could see him in our behaviors.

Abu Hurayrah raḍyAllāhu ‘anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him) relates that a man said to the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him): “Counsel me.” The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request many times, but the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) kept saying: “Do not get angry.” [Sahîh Bukhāri ]

Reply
Umm

October 1, 2012 at 9:41 AM

Asalamualaykum wrwrb,

Did you ever wonder how people in Yemen and Libya (especially so-called terrorist groups) suddenly hear about a youtube trailer for a video which was actually posted many months before the protest? They are not checking their iPhone every twenty seconds for new messages or to play Angry Birds.

Do you wonder about the protest in Libya where 3 other Americans in the embassy were killed and the identity of two of them was not initially disclosed and it turned out that they were CIA special forces? What are all the gainfully employed CIA special forces doing over there? There is quite a number of them now.

Does it ever make you think that these countries that have much publicized protests over the movie are the same countries that have seen an unbelievable amount of killing from the US, escalated in the past few years? Why not get angry and protest drone strikes, too, like the ones that killed your brothers and sisters on their way to a wedding yesterday? Why aren’t those protests being covered by the media?

Do you take your worldview as CNN brings it to you? Maybe there is a bigger picture. Maybe we don’t need to be bending over backward apologizing for protests.

Reply
Umm

October 1, 2012 at 10:38 AM

Next time your co-worker or neighbor makes you feel squeamish about an artfully cropped photograph of your brethren in Pakistan on the front of Newsweek, look them straight in the eye and say bravely, “I don’t care if the American ambassador was killed in Libya. Do you know what the Americans are doing in Libya, Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Yemen? Do you live under a rock? The embassies and everyone who works there are bastions of terrorism. Read your own liberal and independent news sources. You don’t have to take it from me!”

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FOJIN

January 17, 2015 at 4:41 PM

Freedoms Expression & Space Right – it Mins Not Hit Other .spreading Funny !
Now Muslim world Angry so WE do best of way Peace & Mercy
ISLAM – Right prospect Humankind – infect all of as
My opinion World politician have a miss calculation 4 solution

Reply