Beard:

No problem. Mine’s a fistful (give or take a few mm).

I’ve been working in industry for years. You get the occasional joke but it’s usually light hearted. The strange thing is that since 9/11 it’s become easier. Maybe it’s the massive numbing that’s occured to it, the media (imho) is always a double edged sword (which can work in our favour).

In my experience as long as you are professional and excellent at what you do, nobody seems to mind. Also be nice to everyone and you cannot go wrong. Help people, go out of your way to do it.

To be fair I have to say that the British can be very professional and very accommodating. A lot of companies provide prayer rooms (small ones, but the gesture is greatly appreciated and welcomed).

The more they get used to Muslims the better. People will realise we are only human beings, believe it or not!

Hand shaking:

You have to learn the tricks of the trade!

1. Kind of hang around at the back of the meeting before people shake hands and sit down quickly.

2. The old ‘hello…whoops me shoe lace is untied’.

3. My hands are full of folders and stuff…

4. Keep a plaster on you (that’s a band aid for all you yanks).

5. Let everyone see you just before the meeting and then go ‘to the bathroom’ just before the meeting starts and come in a few minutes late.

6. Learn some elite NLP skills and say something which causes cognitive dissonance! I have to really work on this one, it might sort all our hand shaking problems out. LOL

7. Be straight up “Sorry I’m not allowed to shake hands with you” Then explain everything in the next twenty minutes. This is the hardest. But if you have the gift of the gab then go for it.

8. Superwoman. Sorry you can’t avoid this one. She’s so quick, she shoves her hand in yours before you know what’s happened your neural pathway is activated and kicks in and you give salaam! Then you realise what you just done.

9. Weak boy. Shake hands and make taubah later. No comment required.

“To be fair I have to say that the British can be very professional and very accommodating. A lot of companies provide prayer rooms…”

Subhanallah…that is the exact opposite of what most work environments in the US are like. It is the rare “boss” or job that allows you to even look like a Muslim (I’m NOT referring to wearing kufis and coming to work in a thobe!) — let alone actually take the occasional salah break.

As far as Jumuah goes…you can just about forget that in many professional work environments, as well. I recently spoke to a brother who is pursing legal action in this regard because he was repeatedly docked hours of pay & admonished for taking a 10min. or 15min. salah break … even though he wouldn’t take a lunch break and was very punctual in completing any and all of his work related tasks.

His coworkers, on the other hand, would be allowed to take an hour or more for lunch … take repeated cigarette breaks … and got away with arriving to work late.

I remember a Pakistani teacher I once had, she was Muslim and she once extended her hand and I embarrassingly shook it.
Then as the days went on I started attending more religious lecture and becoming a bit more attentive to these issues, and the issue even came up in a lecture.
The next time my English teacher extended her hand I raised my hand in a small wave and said: “Sorry, I don’t shake hands!”
I felt like a hero. Then again, this is all in a Muslim country.

The issue I always think about is lowering the gaze. Non-hijabis (All non-Muslims) don’t cover their awra (the part we’re not allowed to see which includes the hair the neck the ears, let alone other parts) so it’s hard to communicate with them in a working environment and anywhere else.

What’s scary to me is that every gaze counts.

“Whosoever does an atom’s weight of a bad deed shall see it”

What are your comments on this matter?

i remember i was so nervous about wearing the jilbab to work that i decided to wear it with a blazor so it would look more professional. but i’m not sure if that is permissible??
i’ve found on the whole noone really cares what you wear but you. as long as you are good at your job and get along with people, you will be treated just like everyone else.

handhsaking hasn’t really been a problem with me because i don’t attend a lot of meetings, but i have found it difficult to consistantly decline invitations to work parties etc.

i think it’s harder for men (especially because they tend to look more intimidating!) and i would agree that the British are very accomodating and tolerant on the whole.

i want to point out one thing that i seee soooo many desis/muslim names working here at Morgan Stanley however most of them are not religious and are not practicing muslims (sometimes i wonder , what if they were all practicing Muslims then we wouldnt have issues with prayer space =(

Hmmmmmmm… I really don’t think that hands-shaking thing is *that* big of a deal. My mum and my dad go through it all the time, and when you explain to them in a nice tone of voice that you don’t shake hands or otherwise touch someone of the opposite gender for religious reasons, they’re rarely offended.
Same goes for lowering the gaze… my dad never looks at non-Mahram women eye-to-eye, and when he’s asked about it (which is rarely ever, actually) he does the same as above – explains it kindly. They usually take it pretty well, or at least won’t say anything nasty.

The couple times it’s happened to me, I do the same thing… it’s really way easier to be up front and open about it. You don’t have to be rude, curt, or abrupt; it’s all about being polite!

”””””’I should have asked, “What about in Muslim cultures, where men and women are not allowed to shake hands?” ””

Hey when i took “Diversity, Professionalism, and Harassment Prevention in the Workplace” class @ Morgan Stanley, i did bring up the issue and everybody started looking @ me as if i am a moron =) but i explained to them how its due to my religion and its very important to me and i wouldnt feel comfortable compromising on it etccc
Then person in class suggested that i should be extra nice , sweet which will make up not shaking hand-lol (i dont know if that made sense) but khair i think its easier for sisters to avoid shaking hand (since we stand out so much and i hope that our jalbab reminds them about nuns =) so they wont get offended..

”’These “socials” are where they really make all the “decisions” implicitly”

That is absolutely true and i have witnessed it so many times (despite of meeting all the deadlines and being proactive in work, my co worker received better promotions then i did however im not complaining @ all, Rizaq is with Allah swt only)
The only disheartning part of the whole thing is that when u explain them that its due to religion, they quickly reply back ‘oh this person is muzlim but he comes and drinks as well’……….that makes me seem *extremist*

What about “I’m shaking your hand in my heart”

I heard Shaikh Mukhtar Maghroui telling a story where he had to say to a young teen something about hugging her in his heart. haha it was nice.

Also, even if some people take offense, oh well. If you don’t want to be touched by a person, it’s your body, your life. Let them go off and touch other people if they ‘need’ to shake hands so badly. They aren’t losing out on anything.

Once these side issues are out of the way, things become so much easier.

Also, brother Amad, are you aware of the opinion of what the lihyah is in the shafi’i school? It’s quite interesting!

Yus, you are right, it is easier said than done, but maybe it’s just that for me these things aren’t issues. It’s very hard for me to understand why they are. I know men have it hard, please don’t think I just have a big head or something and am insensitive. I know this and very well. I also know women have it hard when they go out of their homes wearing a headscarf, abaya, niqab etc. Sisters have to cover up at work and some sisters have no one else to depend on. I can understand sisters taking off the khimaar because they can find no job, because the community isn’t helping them, because they have kids who need to be fed. I can understand this. But this is a bigger issue and many sisters deal with it. I look at the issue of shaking hands vs outergarments and I can’t comprehend why brothers make it so difficult on themselves. Sometimes brothers just assume it will be hard but that’s just it, assumptions.

It could be that I am very rebellious in nature. When I first accepted Islam I wanted to implement right away. When people said anything to me about things that ‘offended’ them, I just told them to realize that it was my life and not their own. When my mom tried to force me to shake the man’s hands at the govt office as we fixed our immigration status, I stood my ground. Who was my mother to force me to touch a strange man, I always thought. Who were these men to feel they had a right to grab my hand and who gave them the right to feel offended by my decision of not wanting to be touched? My mother and father were always shocked at how respectful the men ended up being. It was only close family friends who knew me before Islam, before these ‘rules’, who complained.

I went to CVS a few months ago. I went to get some pictures done for some paperwork and earlier that day I had spoken to the manager. I asked him if there was a woman available to take the pictures, sort through them etc.. and when he saw me come in he informed the front lady that she had to handle me. He was so kind and welcomed me to his store. He stuck his hand out so far that some of you brothers, had that been a woman, wouldn’t have thought twice about shaking her hand. In fact, it was so close that you would not have had enough space to move your hand to the side of your body if it was in front of you. It would simply have touched their hand. So yeah, pretty close! And for me it still wasn’t an issue and for many others it isn’t. He was shocked, but respected my opinion and continued to smile and welcomed me to his store, again.

Maybe I brainwashed myself for a long time and that’s why it’s easier. Or maybe it’s because I deal with worse things. I get laughed at, yelled at, get people to turn their back’s on me, spoken about and made to feel like a ‘monster’ in people’s presence for wearing niqab. Maybe this has become so petty in comparison to not being able to order from a restaurant because people think I’m some terrorist who is going to blow them up. This is the test for brothers because many times you don’t have something to show that you are Muslim. For women, because of the unintentional da’wah, it is easier. It’s expected. That’s my opinion. May Allah make it easy for all of you and us. Ameen

Abdullah, I wouldn’t take the exact same approach as you, but you do raise what seems to me the crucial issue. We need responsible scholars who can really map the terrain for us so we know what issues are a must (or a no-no!) and what issues have flexibility.

I keep my beard big and bushy, but I know scholars who I respect and would feel shy to disagree with who trim their beards to a short length. Sometimes, I think that is almost admirable, given the fitna that’s developed around policing the beards, and measuring taqwa with our fists.

I avoid the hand shaking, which always has the potential to be a problem. However, it usually is not a big deal once you explain the reasons. It is harder for men because it seems to confirm the stereotypes of muslim misogyny, and it is culturally a bit rude. However, you can still establish good relationships with people after the initial awkward moment.

There is also the absolutely essential issue of context. We need advice about these matters from sheikhs who know the cultural environment, live within it themselves, and are deeply in touch with their own fallibility. We really don’t need global fatwas. Again, I don’t shake hands with women, but one who does so in a corporate conference room is not exactly the same as someone walking around Riyadh trying to slap five with niqaabis.

“I see a lady approaching me from a distance and I would lock my computer and run to the restroom!!”

Very nice tactic LOL

Gather round! I have a story to tell you. What happens when you combine a practicing Muslim employee with a Government organization?

You’ll be suprised… :)

http://muslimology.wordpress.com/2007/09/06/islam-in-the-workplace/

“Again, I don’t shake hands with women, but one who does so in a corporate conference room is not exactly the same as someone walking around Riyadh trying to slap five with niqaabis.”

Very pertinent point, may Allah reward you.

One thing I remembered about this whole hand-shaking business that I have seen brothers do/think about doing: don’t indulge in a sin to avoid a sin. E.g. don’t say “Sorry I have pinkeye and its contagious, so I cant shake your hand” when you don’t have pinkeye!!

But alhamdulillah, at the end of the day, Allah forgives all sins and like Sh. Yasir said in another post, shaking hands with the opposite gender in and of itself is not a major sin, so in sha Allah it’ll get wiped away from prayer to prayer in sha Allah ta’ala. I’m not belittling the sin or anything, but this is the truth and in sha Allah, we should keep this in mind.

WAllahu alim.

BismillahirRahmanirRaheem,

Assalaamu alaikum my dear brothers and sisters,

The “handshake” issue seems to plague many of us, especially those of us in the workplace evironment daily. The best advice I was ever given was to simply ask guidance from a scholar who knows you and your situation; then follow what he/she says. Remember most legal rulings, especially ones like this, do not apply to every person.

No one here is belittling this issue; it’s one that we, unfortunately, are consumed with on a daily basis. I agree with the suggestion mentioned earlier to make dua’a before every possible interaction; Allah is most bountiful.

Sh. Mokhtar Maghroui stated something this past weekend that has affected me greatly and that I pray to Allah we inculcate within ourselves. He said (paraphrase) that in order for our outward actions to have true meaning we must carry the Garden in our hearts. His lecture made me recall the response that Imam Magid gave us on Hajj when we asked him about the best dua’a to make while performing the rites: “that which comes from your heart.”

Finally, as Sh. Qadhi has repeatedly reminded us, we should not be so arrogant as to ever think that a sin of ours is beyond Allah’s boundless mercy.

Walhumdulillahi Rabb al Alameen.
Ma’salaam.

I must say some of the responses on avoiding handshake are hilarious =) (If i wasnt working in corporate america then i would be like why cant u just take this opportunity to do dawah but its definitely not as easy) khairrr what else besides handshake?

How many of you take your lunch break with co workers? and hear them talking about most useless and nasty things (then u wonder arent these people supposed to be educated and elliet class) but i always make sure that i dont take part in conversations which are initiated to backbite about boss, or to make fun of another co worker =)

“A sin is a sin, no matter how ’small’. It’s worse to fall into sin while knowing it is a sin, as well. Such a way of thinking will cause a person to lose his connection with Allah. Atleast feel awful for it, but no need to make it a unimportant.

I remember listening to a lecture and the speaker said, ‘Belittling a sin is a sin in itself’. And honestly a believer who wants to better his life and make Allah his goal always aims (it is hard but we try, right?) to abstain from not just the sins but the makruhat. Not to mention, how can one make sincere tawba if they constantly think ‘well, my sin isn’t that big, so no biggie’. It would make that tawba invalid, don’t you think?”

Sister, with all due respect, that is not what I said neither what I implied. My point was that many times people would commit an arguably bigger sin (lying) to avoid this sin of shaking hands with the opposite gender…which is why its important to keep in mind the magnitude of the sin. No one is saying that you belittle a sin on purpose or trivialize the maghfirah of AlGhaffoor, but at the same time it’s important to keep things in perspective.

Without a doubt, feeling guilty is tawbah and without having guilt for committing a sin, a person can never do a tawbah that is nasooha (sincere). But, the reality is that people DO fall into sins while knowing that they are sins…and for them, the hope that such-and-such is a minor sin and Allah will forgive this sin is much more valuable than anything that you can tell them.

Jazaka Allahu khairan for clarifying what you meant, but also understand that my post was general also. It’s one of the biggest things we have to fight our own ego in. It’s easy for our nafs to tell us, ‘it was just a handshake!’ or ‘it was just one moment of anger!’ or whatever it is. It’s hard to defeat this, but we gotta try, hard. may Allah aid us against our nafs and shaytan. ameen

Brother Abu Hafsa, welcome to MuslimMatters! Insha’Allah you’ll find it a place of benefit.

On the subject of real world vs. fiqh books, I really don’t think it’s as difficult as we make it.
Yes, we may not be following the customs of the land – but if you explain why, and you have good manners in doing so, then most people won’t get angry or offended at all… or so I’ve found.
Not smiling at people of the opposite gender doesn’t mean scowling at them – one can maintain a pleasant demeanour without being overly familiar. You can have good manners and a good professional relationship with those of the opposite gender without doing those things that they’re used to (e.g. shaking hands, going out to lunch/ dinner, etc.). Sure, they might find it a bit strange at first but after a while they’ll get used to it and it shouldn’t be a big problem.

Really, I think it’s a matter of just using our brains. We know the Sunnah, and we know ourselves and the people around us. Putting two and two together isn’t that hard!

“Not everyone is Fudayl ibn Iyad or Sufyaan Al-Thawri.”

But we can aspire to be like them. While we may never reach their station of piety and righteousness, their stories and the likes of them stand before us inherently as a lesson of that which we hope to emulate, inshaa’Allaah ta’ala.

Of course the statement itself is a valid one, but what is feared are the implications it may engender – ultimately, an excuse for our heedlessness. By virtue of living in a society where those who practice Islaam is not the majority, we may find ourselves in situations where we may compromise our deen, or rather have the opportunity to, this situation may present itself often or infrequently.

However, in such situations, it is our consciousness of Allaah ta’ala (the fact that we shall never escape His Sight, our duty to Him, and our ultimate purpose) that shall inshaa’Allaah thwart such fitnah from our path and given the decision we shall choose the path more pleasing to Allah ta’ala, even if it means by taking this path we may displease the people. Let us remember the hadeeth wherein the Prophet salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam states: “He who pleases the people by angering Allaah, Allaah will entrust him to the people.” SubhaanAllah. Yet still, inshaaAllah pleasing Allaah ta’ala is not always equated to displeasing the people, nor vice versa. With hikmah, inshaaAllah, we can avoid harmful situations exuding good character, and transforming the once potentially harmful situation into a da’wah opportunity.

Inevitably we face challenges in our respective societies, what’s more we also encounter excuses for our shortcomings, whether our own or someone else’s. Of these excuses is when we look at our society today and compare it to the society as it was in the time of the Salaf and think to ourselves that they are completely different worlds and that we cannot be expected to exude ‘ibadah at such a level (of the pious ones of the past – may Allah be pleased with them). Such a mentality may cause us to belittle our shortcomings and cut off the aspirations that we may receive from their stories.

Realize their stories aren’t relayed to us so that we may equate ourselves with them, but they are a source of inspiration, of motivation, and a reminder for us all. So instead of the deafitist mentality of ‘never being able to reach their station’, let us instead seek to emulate them and implement what is learned from them, ultimately hoping to honor their struggles.

Furthermore, remember that Shaytaan has given up misguiding those who are steadfast in deen in the greater matters of Islaam and seeks to miguide them in the ‘minor’ aspects. Thus, let us not try and belittle a sin, either by thinking it is not great in the sight of Allah or that it will eventually be wiped away. Surely we know not if our repentence will bring about forgiveness nor if our laboring in the cause of Allah shall be accepted of us; for Al-Hasan Al-Basree said: “The righteous salaf were as fearful of their good deeds being squandered, or not being accepted, as the present generation is certain that their neglect would be forgiven.”

May we live our lives in accordance to the Qur’aan and Sunnah and receive admonition from the stories of the Salaf. May we not compromise our deen for the worldly life and may Allah ta’ala reward us for our struggles. Allahumma Ameen

*The above is not only in accord with the professional environment, but inshaaAllah all facets of life. It is a reminder to myself, before anyone else.

Wa Salamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu

///Those of us who don’t work, housewives/students, are ‘protected’ from the difficulties of it that y’all face.\\\

We are ‘protected’ somewhat. That doesn’t mean we’ve not been in their shoes. Some have worked, dealt with the same people on a regular basis for a long time until they removed themselves of that situation and just learned to deal with it. Nevertheless, we should strive, be encouraging, and offer ways to avoid these situations, period.

In my jahiliya days I also was emplyed at MS Dean Witter and i wanted to let you people know of my personal experience:
at that time i never grew my beard and would go home and try and catch up with all my prayers after work as having tried my boss said: “this place is for work not for prayers, you need to go home and do that not here”. Anyway one morning I had to get into work at 5am and I had no time to shave – my hair on my chin can grow pretty quickly even after just one day – when i got into work my boss gave me a funny look – you know the environment was open plan and there must have been maybe 50 or more people in that room. My boss came up to me and said ” forgotten to shave have we?” I simply ignored him and went on my way. The boss then turned round and shouted out to all the people: ” we are doing a collection for x as he cannot afford a shaver”. He later came to me with a shaver stating that ” all staff had generously donated” and that he 2wanted me to go and shave in the toilets”
These days I have a full beard alhamdolillah and am having difficulty getting into any work let alone “professional”. Having had numerous interviews and knowing that the work was matching my experience, I once went for an interview and the lady interviewing was a asian muslim. She put her hand out to shake my hands and I said sorry i dont shake hands. She immediately turned round to her collegue and said: ” you know this must be the shortest interview ever done by me”, and terminated the interview.

Br. Hani,

I am saddened to hear about your experiences.

To AnonyMouse’s: Jazakallahu khair for the warm welcome.

When I first started practicing, I thought I ‘knew the sunnah’ – which came to me from only one source – one set of scholars – and a few websites – and I thought this was the Whole Truth in it’s entirety and anything contrary to it is contrary to the Sunnah. But as I contune to learn, I find that things aren’t clear-cut as I had imagined them to be. The sunnah is dynamic and the rulings change depending on the person, his environment, his culture, and the society that he’s living in.

For example, I recently (directly) heard Shaykh Ibrahim Dremali say that if a person is in an airport or airplane and he feels that by praying standing he will attract undue attention or harrasment then he can pray sitting so as not to lose his Khushoo. Now, the qiyam is a pillar of the salat, and the person is NOT facing a direct and imminent threat to his life or limb. But the scholar feels that he can pray sitting to avoid a little uneasiness and hardship.

Similarly about shaking hands see this:

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503546332

A lot of questions come to mind regarding similar issues. Is ‘smiling’ in the West the same as smiling to a woman in Saudi Arabia? I don’t think so. Here it’s just considered polite, in Saudi, flirting. So does it take a different ruling here? May be, may be not.

My point is that we need scholars who live in this society and in this culture to explain clearly to us what is and what isn’t the sunnah. I don’t think anyone’s done this yet.

Besides, your reply was a classic textbook reply. In the real world, some people/situations make it more difficult to ‘explain to someone in a polite’ way because of the place, time, or the personality of the person you’re dealing with. Bottom line: You can’t paint every thing with a big brush and say it’s all very easy – because it were that easy – we wouldn’t have this discussion in the first place and brothers/sisters wouldn’t have to do things like:

- hide in the bathroom
- cough in their hands
- linger behind a meeting
- tell lies or invent stories (pink eye)
- say awkward things like ‘i would only shake your hands if you’re ugly or old’ etc. etc.

to avoid a handshake. This all proves that brothers/sisters don’t find these situation that comfortable, ‘normal’, or easy to deal with.

Secondly, this may be harder for some than for others because of the personality of that individual. Its’ like saying to someone who’s shy/introvert – “come on public speaking is so easy – why don’t you just get up on stage and say what’s on your mind – I do it every day.” Well… that’s YOU. Not every one can be as articulate and suave or ‘pull-it-of’ without embarassment.

It may also have to do with one’s profession: A male realtor or lawyer who meets with tens of female clients every day may find it burdensome to have to explain to each one why he isn’t shaking their hand – and that’s besides the possibility of losing out on them as clients.

BTW, I am not advocating shaking hands with the opposite gender, I am just saying that it’s not black and white and we have to be compassionate and let the scholars who live here come forward and guide us to what’s right according to our situation and circumstances.

Wallahu alam, may Allah guide us all to the correct understanding.

Jazakum Allahu Khair for all of the responses. This has been an insightful discussion. I agree with Abu Hafsa as well. Things aren’t black and white. I think this is the heart of the matter.

Like I said earlier, some people put obstacles in front of them. And they think from the deepest in their hearts that the reaction they get is all part of the struggle. I know people that dress like Arabs or Pakistanis and they think this is part of the Sunnah and they think that all of the problems they face because of dressing that way is part of the struggle. They think it is a test of faith.

I tell them akhi dress is part of customs and not required and it is actually recommended to dress like the locals as Sheikh Yasir Birjas mentioned to us in fiqh class. But people still don’t care.

The point being that just because you struggle with an issue it does NOT make that issue correct. I sometimes get a feeling from people that they think the worse the reaction the more correct their actions are. And the common response from them is that this is a test and rizq is from Allah.

Of course rizq is from Allah but did you ever think what if it’s not a test. What if we are creating tests that are in reality non-issues.

The struggle is not in growing a huge messy beard, pants above the ankles, dressing like an Arab, and shaking hands.

Having to put up with co-workers lunch time conversations and do da’wa–now that is the real struggle.

As salaamu alaikum

MashaAllah this is a very relevant and nice post.

Actually I took the Usool AlFiqh class too and from what I remember, Sheikh Yaser said in his opinion, a brother/sister may be rewarded for their intention to follow the Sunnah, even in matters not related to worship (such as wearing a thobe, etc.) There’s a difference of opinion on this, and I just wanted to clarify that this is what I understood from the class.

With that being said, I agree that it is very hard to practice the Sunnah in the professional world, and may Allah make it easy on us. It’s important for the long term vision of the Muslim Ummah in the West that we get integrated into many diverse professions and fields, but compromising our faith will be indicative of lack of eeman and lack of clarity in the vision.

For example, we may be lax on the hand-shaking issue or issue of attending office parties with alcohol, but let me ask you this: in 100 years, wouldn’t you want the situation of Muslims in the West to be such that they DON’T have to do this? So they can be free to practice Islam 100%? If that’s the END we see, why should the means be any different? If we die today and Allah asks us: Why did you shake hands with non-mahram people at work, will we say “it was for the greater good so people won’t hate Muslims!” ? Do we forget sometimes that Islam is first about our relationship with our Lord, Allah?

I’m speaking to myself first because I attend a public high school and wear hijab/jilbaab and am still very active in school clubs and I’m on a very elite competitive civics team on campus. I feel like I’m sometimes put in compromising situations such as the team members mixing a lot and in competition, there will be really high ranking officials (later on, US Supreme court Justices!) who will judge us, and not shaking hands will be a big deal, I can tell. But I’ve made up my mind that my Aakhirah is more important to me since I don’t know if it is THIS SIN which I consider to be small which will take me into Hell-fire. Allah knows best. In the end, I am doing my best to please Allah and trying to learn as much as I can to help the Muslim Ummah at large. But I want to make sure that my ‘vision’ I’m not a hypocrite and I actually do my best to please Allah.

Because what is the point of developing such an Ummah that cares about the social progression of the Muslims (more in a cultural and identity sense) when those Muslims are not focusing on their ultimate purpose, to please Allah? We never know with what small actions we do we are influencing our paradigms and decision making routines, and they might become such habits that we disregard them and lose track of why we’re even here in the world…

So anyway, sorry for the rambling, but two points on compromising, in my humble opinion:

1) Compromising our Deen is, firstly, contradicting our Vision for the Ummah. If we do not do our best to please Allah today, how can we claim to build Muslim unity and revival tomorrow?

2) If we displease Allah (may Allah forgive me and all of us, ameen) then there will be no barakah in any of our pursuits.

So….. it’s very difficult to observe the Sunnah and be practicing Muslims in the ‘professional’ world but inshaAllah if we keep our priorities straight & do our best to hold on to the Rope of Allah, He will help us.

May Allah keep us firm on His Straight Path and guide all of humanity to Islam and to Paradise, ameen.

I comletely agree with brother Abdullah. I would like to add that before we claim about an issue that ‘compromising is not an option’ first we need to be absolutely sure that the shariah does not at all allow compromising on that issue.

As an example: Many brothers think that wearing a tie is against the Sunnah and they will not wear a suit or a tie to an interview claiming it is against the Sunnah. Fatwas exist to support this opinion. But many scholars hold the opposite opinion and I have in fact seen many scholars wear ties. The fact is that the ruling of if a tie is imitation of the kuffar changes from one culture/region to another. So why does a brother have to make it difficult for himself and his family if the shariah allows room in this issue? Isn’t earning halal rizq for your family sunnah too? Isn’t pleasing your parents by getting a decent job sunnah too?

Over the last 12-13 years or so I have observed a pattern in our umma, especially in the West. It is that we are overly zealous about those aspects of the deen that have to do with *showing* piety to others:
beard/thawb/isbaal/hijaab/gender mixing but we show little concern about things like back-biting/lying/cheating/community service/kindness to parents/helping members of the community etc. It seems like we like to wear our deen on our sleeves, not in our hearts.

Does the whole Sunnah and the entire deen revolve only around dress and external appearance? Sorry to say, I’ve seen many a brother wear a long beard and thawb above his shin while being ‘out-of-status’ on his F-1 visa. His parents break their back trying to support his education in the USA, but he cannot ‘compromise on his deen and enroll at the university’. Eventually the brother is caught and deported home. What is amazing is that many practising muslims will support this brother’s actions because of his external appearance and ‘adherence to the sunnah’ even though he is 1) lying to his parents 2) disobeying his parents 3) wasting their money 4 ) lying to the government 5) breaking the country’s laws 6) violating his visa contract. Is this sunnah?

This may be an extreme example but this can be extrapolated to many problems that brothers create for themselves in the professional world.

And Allah knows best.

As salaamu alaykum to you all, my take on the issue is as follows:

Professionalism and the observance of Sunnah are not mutually exclusive. The more true love we have for the Prophet, peace be upon him, the easier it is to follow his recommendation. This does not mean we will not be tested. It is the way of Allaah to test people, especially the ones He loves (Q29 V 2). If we pass the test, we move a little higher in His sight.

First Hijab/Jilbab
We all know that this is the commandment of Allah, so there’s no question about. If a sister’s professionalism means ‘take off the hijaab’ whether gradually or immediately, she should trash the job. I know ‘professionalism’ has now become synonymous with compromise, but we have to say the truth.

Our sisters who are professionals and who observe the proper hijaab deserve praise and prayers. We ask that Allah ease their ways. Now, everyone needs the hijaab is not compatible with certain lifestyles. The same goes for Muslims who stand out (hijaab, beard, thawb). Their appearance is da’wah on it’s own, according to scholars. So we should not find a Muslim in a mixed gathering where the proper etiquettes are not observed. A sister may be more affected in such environments perhaps the men may see her a ‘chic’ of a different brand (as far as they are concerned it’s just a cloth). So avoid such parties.

Finally, I believe that the main reason we compromise these important commandments and recommendations is so that people love or have a good impression of us. The bad news is that we seek satisfy someone whose heart is in the Hands of the One we disobey. Let’s all ask for forgiveness and get on the Deen!

Assalaamu alaykum,

WOW this has gotten a *lot* of comments, masha’Allah.

One story I have:

I interviewed at one big-time place that I really wanted to nail for an accounting internship. After getting in touch with them, I found the HR rep I spoke to was female, the names she gave me or managers were female, and so on and so forth. I knew my hand was in for it.

So I Emailed the HR rep ahead of time explaining how I’m Muslim and for religious reasons I don’t shake hands with women; that it’s not a gesture of disrespect, all of that good stuff; and if she could please notify the other associates and women interviewing me that’d be awesome. I thought I was totally good to go.

When I showed up, none of them seemed to have received the memo. I had to explain to each and every female staff member I came in touch with my position. Turns out the HR rep never received my Email! It was tough, but alhumdulillah the good news is I went through with it and didn’t shake any female’s hands.

The bad news? I didn’t get the job =/. I had really wanted this position. Not only did this company conveniently have its corporate headquarters LITEARLLY 1.1 miles from my house, it’s a company many young brothers my age would love to work at (let’s just say this company is reponsible for manufacturing such products known as the Boxster, the Cayenne, the Cayman, the Carrera, etc.).

Alhumdulillah, a good learning experience, and definitely a solid tip that I’d recommend: letting the HR rep/recruiter know ahead of time via Email or phone. I hope this tip works for all of you guys when you’re out looking about. =)

Saqib

Do you guys think it would be easier for us guys if we had some sort of religious symbol like the hijab?

Isn’t the turban sunnah?

Is wearing a thobe really sunnah? I don’t mean that in a harsh manner but didn’t the Prophe salAllahu alayhi wa sallam and the companions wear an izaar (basically ihram)…isn’t the thobe just the clothing of the arabs in general…i’ve always wondered this, I would appreciate if someone could discuss it. wa Allahu ‘alam!

@saqib bro, perhaps the most suitable thing to be born in mind for you in your current situation: “it might be that you dislike something and it be good for you, and it might be that you like something and it is bad for you..Allah knows, and you know not.”

May Allah provide you with better from His Counternance, ameen.

Abu Abdurrahman: I forgot to write the ending to the story. I ended up interviewing at a place that was much better and was actually totally cool with all that I need as a Muslim, alhumdulillah. Allah (SWT) always hooks it up. =)

Shaking Hands:
I simply tell my co-workers politely that for religious reasons I can’t shake hands, and I put my hand on my chest instead of simply pulling it away or not taking their hand. That I made some motion seems to have some effect, and that I have an answer ready and rehearsed makes its short delivery very easy. Having a long beard also lends legitimacy to my being different.

The Beard:
I take the opinion that you don’t touch the beard, and I pretty much don’t. When I interviewed, first and foremost, I made du’aa to Allah subhaana wa ta’aala and then I prepared relentlessly by going over technical questions as well as HR type questions. The beard became irrelevant. I also made small talk with the interviewers about random things that had nothing to do with the interview in order that they could see that beneath that monstrous looking beard was a normal dude who grew up in North America.

Siraaj

Abu Muhammed,
your recommendations got me into stitches of laughter, subhanallah.
It’s amazing because i’ve tried most of them, probably the folder bit
many a times…at home, with families, i try to hold household items, like
hands filled with clothes like am taking them to laundry or anything
that could be convincing…
I hope it’s not a sin to say that Allah may sometimes smile at the tricks
of His servants.

TIP: When i do shake hands (i know its wrong), i sometimes add with humour “I’ll get into trouble for that”, since that invites them to ask why without being offended at the same time. At least then they will remember for the future, and you won’t have to do it again hopefully .

Of course, for some professions (e.g;. doctors) not shaking hands with a woman who you’re going to be examining physically anyway can seem extra pointless. I wonder whether there is any leeway in such circumstances.

I should clarify that my telling them my wrist was injured involved me simply pointing to the splint and saying hings such as “You’ll have to excuse me”.

Re: Re: Gohar.

With the doctor bit, maybe look at it this way, if the doctor is examining you, he can might as well shake your hand, if he can examin you and shake your hand, you can might as well accept his invitation to dinner, if he can examin you, shake your hand, take you out to dinner, you can might as well accept a kiss on the cheek, …
So we must nip it in the bud at the get go and know that the shaitan looooves a leeway to take us further one step at a time.