Get the Muslim iCondemn App!

Why don't we Muslims ever condemn terrorism? This is a perennial question many intelligent, reflective people have asked over the years. Usually these people don't have a single Muslim acquaintance and don't know how to use a search engine, but that's besides the point.

Some have argued that Muslims shouldn't be required to condemn every single criminal act done in the name of their religion. After all, asking Muslims to condemn terrorism is akin to demanding Muslims assume guilt for the crimes of a deranged few, and that's just racist. Or so the argument goes.

But I totally disagree.


Rather than stopping our condemnations, I believe Muslims need to be making more condemnations. Much more. I just don't feel like Muslims have done enough to denounce all the bad stuff we're loosely, indirectly responsible for, probably. Why else are people always asking why Muslims aren't condemning terrorism? Clearly, we need to take our condemnation game to the next level.

According to my calculations, we need to be denouncing things at fifty times the volume and at least twenty times the speed to meet all the demand. The problem is all that denunciation takes a lot of time and resources. We need a 21st century solution to this problem.

That's why I am developing the world's first Muslim denunciation app: The iCondemn®!

With the iCondemn®, Muslims can say “not in my name” at the speed of life!™ And non-Muslims no longer need to wonder whether 1.6 billion Muslims around the world feel the guilt and sincerely apologize for that latest reprehensible crime some idiot carried out while shouting “Allahu Akbar!”

Feast your eyes on these exclusive screen shots:

iCondemn Home Screen

-Beautiful home screen

iCondemn Screen 2

– With full international coverage, you get Muslim condemnations from all over the world!

iCondemn Screen 3

– With iCondemns®, you can join in on the condemnation. Just hit the “Condemn” button® to jump on the bandwagon! Some posts get MILLIONS of iCondemns® from people around the world!

iCondemn Screen 4

– Muslims are not afraid to be cultural critics, too.

iCondemn Screen 8

– Condemnations relating to American domestic issues feature prominently in the Condemnation Feed®.

iCondemn Screen 5

– Keep your finger on the pulse of Muslim self-consciousness!™

iCondemn Screen 6

– The iCondemn® app uses highly advanced technology to condemn even the most mundane evils.

iCondemn Screen 7

– The amazing thing about this app is that it even issues condemnations of events in the past, like the source of the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 and British imperialism. Also, finally, someone is speaking out about Nazi Cows.

iCondemn Screen 9

– With a $4.99 upgrade, the app comes with the Guilt-O-Meter®, which accurately gauges how nervous Western Muslims are feeling right about now.



“I was waiting to see Muslims denounce Islam. Until they do that, this app is useless.”

– Sean Hannity, Fox News pundit


“It's good to see Muslims finally taking responsibility for my life going down the crapper.”

– Dale Miller, unemployed


“I'm a Muslim and I love this app! It feels good knowing that my religion strongly opposes everything a certain segment of middle- to upper-class white non-Muslims find evil, offensive, objectionable, or slightly inconvenient.”

– Ahmad Khan, law student


“At first I was nervous this app was going to be preachy, but, to my surprise, all the condemnations are totally mainstream. There's absolutely nothing anyone with a half decent human conscience wouldn't immediately recognize as bad.”

– Aisha Kenner, accountant

Get the iCondemn® app today!

58 Responses

    • Tanveer Khan

      Read the captions (I’m not really sure what they’re actually called) to the articles in the screenshots and you’ll get your answer :)

      • Miriam

        Lol my phone didn’t load the screenshots before. Definitely clears things up.

    • Ahmed

      With Saudi emperor going around throwing money everywhere trying to survive his creation, you will make millions!

    • JJones

      May I suggest a suicide app instead? Instant heaven for all Muslims! What could be better?

      • Inqiyaad

        ‘Friendly fire app’ sounds better, and for this I support our troops.

      • Umm Sulaimon

        Nah that won’t work unfortunately. You see suicide in Islam does not land one into heaven so the app would be flawed :).

  1. Ahmed

    Will iCondemn allow us to condemn the app itself? Or will that be part of the paid version only?

    • Rashad

      LOL! That’s hilarious…but no seriously, someone answer him, I want to know the answer as well.

    • Jamiela

      I think many people may even buy the paid version just to make use of this feature.

  2. mo

    I’d like to condemn the choice of “Mo” as an expression of a Muslim’s concern for their comfort in the guilt-o-meter. Why not pick on the “Sam” for Sameers or “Mary” for Mariams or “Morty” for Murtazas out there?

    I’m so offended I’m just going to sit and steep like my chai while grumbling about you young Muslims with all your technology and Facing books


    • Mo

      What you need is the iCondem app so you can condemn the iCondem app’s use of “Mo” as a term used in advertising the iCondem app. Obviously. Get it now!

  3. john Howard

    It’s all a big joke isn’t it ? Keep killing the kuffars and make it all a joke One day when the it goes the other way in the west and the massacres of hundreds of western living muslims occur will you find that funny? To date the non Muslims here in the west have shown amazing restraint in their reactions to the slaughters done against them from 9/11, 7/7, Spain, Australia, Bali. Mumbai, and now Paris There has been no mass murders or retaliations other than a few grafiti attacks and screams of abuse – absolutely trivial in comparison to what has happened to the kuffars.
    I guess as kuffars we don’t count in your eyes

      • John Howard

        Yes I am to mourn the dead ivilians in France and the hundreds murderedby Boko Haram today in Nigeria, I guess that is a good reason to be grumpy but heh they are only kuffars
        You know I have tried to see the Muslim side of things but more and more I see that many of you are quite prepared to keep being blind to what is done in your religion’s name and that makes me wonder if all the protestations of wanting to be part of our western societies is actually true. Because right now I see racism and it is certainly not one sided. When Muslims start to demonstrate that these outrages are not in their name like they do when there is perceived outrage against their faith I might get less “grumpy”.
        I am glad Charlie Hebdo is back next week and I hope that their cartoons are even more outrageous in their attacks. In particular the targetted attack on that Jewish Delicatessan. The murder of the Cartoonists was terrorism designed to frighten people from making fun of Islam the other attack was a manifestation of ethnic cleansing of a minority much like what is going on in Syria and Iraq against the Christians and Kurds

      • Inqiyaad

        John, I agree, Muslims will never come out of their medieval mindset. They will never realize that ‘infidels’ and ‘kuffar’ belong in the era of crusades. They will never realize that the only moral way to kill innocent people in the modern world is to call them ‘terrorists’ or ‘collateral damage’.

        Also, they will never learn that there are ways other than taking a chainsaw to the neck to decapitate or kill people whom you disagree with, and their generations to come. Like, sprinkling some depleted uranium by pressing a button or using Madeline Albright’s favorite method.

    • Inqiyaad

      Quite right! Still, Muslims cannot match the professional jesters in the western world. Forget the jesters, they cannot even match the very serious ‘leader of the free world’ in joking about snuffing out innocent lives. Heck, he did not even have a grudge against the old lady who was picking okra in her farm.

      Muslim innovation ends at apps like icondemn. We, western democracies and our allies, invent apps that give 3 minutes notice before blowing up whole residential buildings with our other inventions. We don’t spread our ideology with a sword. We use only superior technology of radar evading drones and phosphorus shells.

      Daniel, this is a good start and I wish there were more Muslims who could be as innovative as you, instead of wasting their lives. Only one problem though, how could you even think that this app was market ready? It does not have a feature to condemn people who use ‘freedom of speech’ as an excuse to further their anti-semitism and question JSIL’s right to exist.

  4. Kirana

    Awesome. For a fleeting moment I had the mad desire to want this app ironically (even though if it existed it wouldn’t actually advance harmony in the end).

  5. manal

    Love your satire..straight to the point! I hope people get the message behind it and stop asking Muslims ti denouce every crime! We should denouce the media for addressing those criminals with the religiin of Islam.

  6. Amad

    Can this app predict when bad things are going to happen and start condemning before the press cycle? Kind of like minority report? Can you consider it in the next upgrade?

    • M. Mahmud

      Perhaps it can deal with it like the weather…….”we’re predicting rising Islamophobia over the next few weeks so stay warm ready your tongue with the condemnations, (make it a second dhikr!!!!!) Smile extra(it’s a sunnah after all) at every infidel from taxi cab to workplace and, if you don’t sport a beard, attach a fake one and visibly help old lady across the street. Could be your mom, but make sure she isn’t Muslamic looking.”

  7. Most Rua

    Ha ha ha! Brilliant! I think you should create a Christian version too. Confession needs to be brought into the 21st century. Guilt needs to be updated and left online for all to see. You could call it iconfess. The inquisition, Catholic church child abuse coukd even have its own section.
    Congratulations! You’re onto a winner!!
    Missy Rua

    • Ismail

      I told a Catholic co-worker that he should publicly apologise for the Oklahoma City bombings by Timothy McVeigh.

      Why, I had nothing to do with it,” he said, thoroughly confused. Yeah, my point precisely…

  8. Get the iCondemn app!

    […] in development, the world’s first Muslim denunciation app, iCondem, where Muslims can, with the touch of a button, condemn any atrocity anywhere that they as a group […]

  9. Naadir Jeewa

    I condemn the lack of following Android Material UI standards.

    Set up the landing page & kickstarter, pronto!

  10. Jeff

    Not only was this thought provoking, but it went a long way toward dispelling my stereotypes of Muslim web sites. This is hilarious!

  11. Zeba Khan

    User Review: Bought it, used it, Meh.

    While the ability to search through existing condemnations was a plus for non-Muslim users, I was really left wanting for the ability to separate my contacts into condemnation categories according to religion, age, and current media crisis. I mean, seriously, I need separate lists for my Shia friends when something Sunnia-Shia goes down, and separate lists for my Indos and my Paks when things heat up between IndoPak.

    I can’t be the only one here who has some very specific condemning to do. The whole Muslims vs. The World narrative is a gross oversimplification of world politics, world religion, and the politics of world religions. Really people, there needs to be more than one category.

    A good effort, but at the end of the day, two out of five stars for no Whatsapp integration.

    • James

      It looks like a 1.0 product. I’m sure that the next upgrade will be more feature rich.

  12. Aaminah

    You have to integrate social media with the app. What good is it for us to condemn if it doesn’t automatically send a tweet, Facebook status, Instagram photo proof, and Google+ update telling all our networks about it? That’s like, you know, basic social technology now.

  13. Dubout and Hebdo | Mehreen Kasana

    […] Am I, as a Muslim woman, saddened by these deaths? Yes. Even more so as now I, in my individual capacity, must carry out damage control by telling people – high on media-propelled fear and hatred – that the theological debate on whether we can or cannot draw the Prophet is not as straightforward as you think it is. That, yes, we too have a beautiful tradition of drawing the Prophet in sometimes gentle and sometimes striking colors and situations in miniatures, and that our relationship with such an art goes as far into history as the 1700s. That, yes, we too have contemporary political cartoonists who produce brilliantly shrewd satire in Muslim-majority countries – please explore the works of those in South Asia, Central Asia, Middle East, North and East Africa. Take a look at Sabir Nazar’s work. But all of this is lost on a Western public that continues to seek individual apologies from a 1.6 billion population. Someone has grown so fatigued with this expectation that they have used humor to allay the burden. They came up with an app. […]

  14. Jamiela

    When all the Barack Obama supporters condemn his killing of innocent civilians in the middle east and all the Zionists ask for forgiveness fromm all the families they have brutally ousted from their houses and all the innocent children and adult Palestinians they bomb everyday, I, who do not even support the terrorists they do will perhaps consider questioning the actions of those they label terrorists’ whom I don’t even support. I believe any muslim terrorist can hold the moral high ground to those who bomb innocents without blinking an eyelid in the name of stamping out terrorism when they are the super-terrorists. Muslim terrorists are little league. They are the majors. We make such a fuss about muslim terrorists and ignore those who carry out wholesale terrorism as a matter of course. Does their terrorism not count because they’re not muslim? Is that really the prerequisite?

    Perhaps I’m the only one who is living in this place called ‘Reality’.

    I think this ridiculous app is just another attempt of the realterrorist-friendly masses at misdirection and is frankly insulting to fair-minded muslims and individuals who hold fast to the values of true justice, fairness, equality, religious freedom, and the right to defend onesself and ones property.

    We South Africans know Apartheid too well, how about we denounce Zionism as the apartheid system it is, how about we spend our time denouncing real major league terrorism? May Allah(the One God) open our eyes to the truth and guide us to treat each other fairly and with true justice.

    • Inqiyaad

      Please, don’t calm down. Please, Please, do not ever look up the dictionary for ‘satire.’

    • Ibn Adnan Al-Yutaawi

      2 wrongs don’t make a right. Even if one is far smaller than the other.

    • M. Mahmud

      I condemn you for not getting the joke. Oh sis of gullibility when will you and other Muslims learn to laugh? You have just grievously shamed us all.

  15. William

    nervous-about-Islam-white-guy, who found this really great. Thanks for helping me regain some perspective.

  16. Ayo

    With all that’s happening all around the world, only one point of view I have the common enemy “Satan” is on the winner side, only good understanding can make one belief that Satan is expanding is territory by days. Using anyone that can fall victim by any name.
    We should all remember that it’s not religion that guaranteed heaven, but religious.
    Anybody can come in any name to perpetrate evil, it doesn’t mean he/she truly represent what is acclaimed.
    Will you accept your family to be condemned because of one black sheep in the house?
    We all know how to deny our image breakers and mock rivals that have been condemned by same image breakers. Let stop being hypocrite, rally round your rivals while in need.
    God’s kingdom is large enough to contain all, there’s no need for religion or any other forms of rivalry.
    All should more be concerned about what account to give on the D day!

  17. emma

    somebody please explain why that first review is there of the fox news pundit……a bit confused here? and why is one of the condemnations against BDS against Israel??? We need to be doing BDS people! either i’m confused or most everyone else is….

    • Beth

      Emma – The whole thing is a spoof. Quite rightly most followers of Islam are hacked off by being asked to condemn acts which ANY sane person would condemn. Just as I, as someone brought up in the Christian tradition, would be hacked off for having to apologize for the actions of violent Christians like those in the LRA or those in the USA who murder doctors who carry out abortions.
      As for the Sean Hannity review – he didn’t really say that, but he is so blinded by his own ignorance that if he were to review the app, that is what he would say. As for BDS, well i deduce that some Moslem leaders have stated that sanctions against Israel would be counter productive; not a position you would expect them to take. Hope this helps!

  18. JohnT

    Loved the app! Great piece of satire and a welcome riposte to the “if they don’t condemn and apologise they’re responsible” wingnuts.

  19. Sezan92

    “If all muslims dont download this app they arent ‘Moderate Muslim’ yer”
    -Bill Taher
    “Maybe Muslims are peaceful but if they dont install this app , they hold the responsibility for not condemning!”
    Rubayat Murdoch

  20. La Piattaforma Modena | Blog della Piattaforma

    […] Se da un lato le iniziative di personalità vicine ad ambienti reazionari/simil-fascisti appaiono scontate – vedi la proposta avanzata da Marine le Pen di reintrodurre la pena di morte in Francia – la diffusa pratica del “dissociarsi” come esercizio di emancipazione collettiva da parte dei fedeli musulmani corre in aiuto della galassia progressista/wannabe leftist/antirazzista disinformata, nel momento in cui essa non ha argomento alcuno da opporre, se non un banale Jesuischarlie o uno stucchevole aforisma di Voltaire – a questi ultimi consiglio di regalare ai propri amici maomettani la nuova app gratuita Icondemn. […]

  21. Ivor

    Okay, been trying to download the app onto my phone (Nokia 6210) without much success. ;) I am an atheist. Am I allowed to using it too? Perhaps you could develop a separate app for those of us who know that terrorist extremism has nothing to do with any faith called iKnowitaintU.

  22. M. Mahmud

    I condemn soggy cornflakes and the bad traffic that afflicts us all. Neither represent the diverse and beautiful tradition of Islam. I would like to join hand in hand with my fellow Americans to also protest the rise in the price of cheese. Islam does not support such evil.

    I also openly condemn Call of Duty for the horrific PTSD many teenagers have received after hours of shooting up digital Muslims terrorists. Yes, I condemn my cartoon coreligionists and would like to make it known that Islam is a religion of peace and does not support traumatizing 12-40 year old CoD fans. These brave men in basement have sacrificed themselves for our country and as a true patriot and a proud American Muslim I will not hesitate to fund the USDVA and to treat carpal tunnel and eye strain. It’s the least I can do. AMERICA!!!!!

  23. M. Mahmud

    I condemn Muslims for using water to cleanse their bottoms. Retaining a small amount of fecal matter in ones bottom is a time honored Western tradition and every time I shake hands with a non-Muslim who has just relieved himself I am honored, oh absolutely honored to know how far we have progressed. Sometimes I sniff my hand afterwards and and take a deep moment to reflect on the great glory of our glorious civilization of gloriousness. AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!

  24. Draw Dignity

    DRAW DIGNITY, NOT HATRED: Ban Hate-Mongering Caricatures of Religious Figures

    Speaking about condemnation, there is a petition to the United Nations to recognize that some caricatures of religious figures pass the line of free speech and can fall into the zone of hate speech, as this is done intentionally to provoke violence to or from a religious group.

    This petition isn’t just for Muslims. It’s also not just about freedom of speech or just about hate speech. It’s about drawing the balancing line between the two. It’s for anyone who wants to draw this line for themselves, for anyone who has the right to be offended by caricatures of religious figures that are primarily designed to promote hatred and violence. No one should have to receive the same treatment. It is one thing to have freedom of speech and even the freedom to insult. This intention is up to the speaker to decide. But it is wholly another to have the *right* to go through emotional, social, political abuse through willfully-provoking hate speech due to one’s beliefs. That, is *wrong*.

    Please help us gather 100 000 signatures to garner the attention of the United Nations and be one step closer to human equality everywhere.

    Read more about the reasons for running this petition, sign up for it here and pass it on: {}

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