Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) had a plan for you before you were born, and He still has a plan for you. Allah's plan for you is necessary and glorious. His plan is vital to your success and important to the world.

Allah's plan is not set in stone, as if we were robots pre-programmed in the factory. That would strip us of free will and deny our natures. Rather, I believe that Allah has a flexible plan for each human being:  a plan that allows that person to benefit the world with his/her unique talents.

This is in fact the Islamic view of al-Qadar, or predestination. There is no doubt that Allah has decreed everything that happens in the universe from the beginning of time to the end, and that Allah has written it all in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz (the Book of Decrees).

“Know you not that Allah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Verily, it is (all) in the Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz). Verily, that is easy for Allah” (Qur'an, al-Hajj 22:70)

In Saheeh Muslim (2653) it is narrated that 'Abd-Allah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “Allah wrote down the decrees of creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.”

Everything happens by the will of Allah. Whatever He wills happens, and whatever he does not will does not happen. However, as Sheikh Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid explains,

Belief in al-qadar does not contradict the idea that a person has free will with regard to actions in which he has free choice. Sharee'ah and real life both indicate that people have this will.

Allah says concerning man's will (interpretation of the meaning):

“That is (without doubt) the True Day. So, whosoever wills, let him seek a place with (or a way to) His Lord (by obeying Him in this worldly life)!” [al-Naba' 78:39]

(and other similar ayaat)

These verses confirm that man has a will and the ability to do what he wants and not to do what he does not want.

With regard to real life, everyone knows that he has a will and the ability to do what he wants and not to do what he does not want. And he can distinguish between the things that happen when he wants them to, such as walking, and those that happen without him wanting them to, such as shivering. But the will and ability of man are subject to the will and decree of Allah.

Sheikh Al-Munajjid's last paragraph is the key to understanding Al-Qadar: walking (voluntary) versus shivering (involuntary). Other scholars have explained it as two types of Qadar, fixed and flexible. The fixed Qadar is that which happens to us from beyond our control. For example the time and place of our birth, any illnesses and natural disasters that befall us, etc. The flexible Qadar is that which is within the realm of our free will. Whether we do good or evil, and what we choose to believe and how we choose to live. Sheikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah wrote:

There are two types of provision and lifespan: the first type has already been decreed and is written in Umm al-kitaab, and cannot be changed or altered. The next type of qadar, Allah has informed His angels of His decrees. This is the type where provisions and lifespan may increase or decrease. Hence Allah the Almighty says what may be translated as, “Allah blots out what he wills and confirms [what He wills]. And with Him is the Mother of the book.” (Surat Ar-Ra'ad, verse 39) The mother of the Book (Umm al-Kitaab) is Al-Lawh al-Mahfoodh, in which Allah has decreed all things as they will always be without change. However, the decrees contained in the books of the angels, such as lifespan and provisions, may increase or decrease according to various circumstances; thereafter, the angels will re-write a person's provision and lifespan. If a person upholds the ties of kinship, his provisions and lifespan will be extended, otherwise they will decrease.” [See Majmoo'al-Fataawa 8/540]

So Allah has a plan for you, but fulfillment of that plan is up to you:  the choices you make, as well as your degree of faith, persistence and determination.

Allah's plan for you is important to the world because Allah created nothing in vain. Look at His creation. Everything has a purpose, from the sun that heats our world, to the bacteria that consume waste.

You are the same. You have a purpose. You are necessary to the world. If your presence were not vital in some way, then you would not have been made.

Discovering Allah's Plan

Road up a mountain

Allah's plan for us is not always what we might wish it to be.

How do we discover Allah's plan for us? Where do we find it? How do we realize it in our lives?

It's not as difficult as we might think. It wouldn't make sense for Allah to have a plan for us and then leave us stumbling in the dark. Allah's plan doesn't have to be a mystery. If we trust Him, do what He asks, and follow our hearts, His plan will unfold in our lives like a brightly lit path.

If you are trying to follow Allah's guidance, but you find yourself confronted by obstacles and hardship, don't despair.  The hardship is probably a sign that you are on the right path. Consider our Prophets (may Allah bless them all) who faced tremendous obstacles:

The Prophet Ibrahim 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him) was disowned by his family and thrown by his people into a blazing fire; Allah rescued him from that, and made him the father of two nations.

Allah inspired the mother of the baby Musa 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him) and told her to place her infant into a chest and send it floating down the Nile. If the soldiers of Pharaoh ever learned about his birth:

“We revealed to Moses' mother, 'Suckle him and then when you fear for him cast him into the sea. Do not fear or grieve; We will return him to you and make him one of the Messengers.'” (Surat al-Qasas: 7)

That was a hard plan to follow, but she trusted her Lord, and carried out her mission.

The young Yusuf 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him) was thrown by his brothers into a well; later he was sold into slavery, then imprisoned for years; but in the end he became an important minister, and was reunited with his father.

Maryam 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him), the mother of Isa 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him), delivered her child alone under a palm tree, far from her people as she feared their reaction; but Allah helped her through miracles, until she became the honored mother of a great Prophet.

The Prophet Yunus 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him) gave up on his mission to the people of Nineveh, ventured onto a ship and was then cast into the sea, where he was swallowed by a fish. At the point of despair, he called upon Allah with all his heart and was rescued. He returned to his mission and achieved success.

Aishah raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her), the wife of the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him), was slandered by an ugly lie, but Allah brought the truth to light, and Aishah became a leader and scholar in her own right.

The companion Umm Salamah raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) lost her beloved husband Abu Salamah in the battle of Uhud; she thought that no husband could ever be better than him, and yet she ended up marrying the Prophet himself ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). Things are not always what they seem.

Be patient. Allah has a plan for you.

Following Allah's Plan

This is the hard part. Allah's plan for us is true to who we are at our core, in our very essence. It will not correlate to an artificial persona we have adopted, or our desire to be seen and recognized. Allah's plan may not bring us fame, fortune, or physical pleasure. It might mean giving up material comfort. So Allah's plan for us may not be what we would wish it to be.

Abu Hurayrah raḍyAllāhu 'anhu (may Allāh be pleased with him), the companion of the Messenger of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him), was asked about Taqwa (God-consciousness). He said, “It is a road full of thorns. One who walks it needs to have extreme patience.”

In fact, Allah's plan may be so challenging that we may perceive it but decline to follow it. I have known all my life that I was a writer. I've been talking for years about writing certain books. And yet it took me until the age of 44 to begin writing about the things that really mattered to me, and I still have not published a book (look for it this year, insha'Allah!). Why did it take me so long to do what I was meant to do?

I have a friend who says that Africa has been calling her all her life. She believes that her destiny is to go there and help the African people in some way. But she has not done it. Why?

I have another friend who believes that da'wah is his mission in life. He spent ten years studying Japanese at the university level, and he dreams of living in Japan and doing da'wah there. But he has no concrete plan to do so. Why?

I asked several brothers and sisters if they know what their mission in life might be. Some said yes. I asked them if they were carrying out their mission. Most said no, and gave these reasons:

  • I feel that others are more qualified than me.
  • It seems like a fantasy.
  • It feels like a dream.
  • I tried once and it didn't go my way.
  • Right now I need to focus on financial security.
  • I'm not ready yet.

Brothers and sisters, no one more qualified than you to fulfill the plan that Allah has for you! Allah's plan is not a fantasy, nor a dream. It may not go your way the first time, or the second, or the third. It may not make you rich, but there is no true financial security in this life – that's an illusion.  No one expects you to let your family go hungry. Work hard and provide for them, but don't get caught in the trap of thinking that the accumulation of wealth will save you, because the only true security is with Allah. And last of all, no one is ever ready to walk fee-sabeel-illah (in the path of Allah). It is a road full of thorns. But it is also the road to fulfillment, happiness, barakah and success.

Fulfilling Allah's plan for us requires that we silence the voice of our own desire, open ourselves to Allah, and look within with total sincerity. It takes courage, patience and determination. It is the path to Jannah (Paradise), insha'Allah.

58 Responses

  1. Somayya

    Inshallah I hope I am patient for the things I want in life. I think what I want is pretty simple really, but it still takes a lot of dua and patience to get it! Good article.

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    • Zafar

      Assalamualaikum one of the most sensible articles, I have read recently, quadr is a spiritually complicated subject, but this article made it graspable .

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    • ishfaq

      What ever we think may not be good for us but what ever Allah has planned for us is the best, becoz Allah is the best planner…..

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  2. faiza

    ‘…silence the voice of desire…’ may Allah help us overcome this, for it is truly truly challenging to the point that it can be suffocating, may Allah make the path to His complete submission easy for us. Ameen

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  3. Maryam_1959

    But what in case a person choose a halal path way, but nothing on the halal path way materialized? For example making a conscious effort and choice to choose a halal work environment , but that doesn’t turn into reality? Keeping patience amounts to loosing out on time, career, gaps in work experience etc. 

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    • Wael - IslamicSunrays.com

      Would you rather lose out on time and work experience, or lose Allah’s blessings and your aakhirah? There is always a halal way to advance. You just have to find it. Be persistent, be determined, and ask Allah.

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  4. Fozia

    “How do we discover Allāh’s plan for us? Where do we find it? How do we realize it in our lives?” These are questions I’ve been asking myself alot recently, so I was so glad when I saw you had addressed them in your article. I’ve always felt that Allah’s plan for me involves ‘helping troubled people’, I also feel that I will not follow a conventional route in achieving my goal. I’m still trying to figure it all out. To discover the plan, we also sometimes need to silence in our mind the external nitter natter.

    Jazaakhallahkhayr for writing your thoughts on this matter so eloquently Wael.

    Fozia

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  5. TheStudentsPath

    JazakAllah khair, this is really a great post mashaAllah.  Sometimes we convince ourselves that our goals are beyond us, and we need that extra motivation or reminder to pick ourselves back up and work towards them.  Sometimes it requires us to be proactive in trying new things.  Sometimes we will be able to have great success, and other times we have to reevaluate and try another way.  What better way to remind us to stay on track then with the reminder of the examples of the Prophets’ trust in Allah and Allah’s plan for us.

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  6. Amy

    Well, it looks like this article may inspire yet another infamous discussion on free will vs predestination/predetermination.

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  7. Hayat_sheriff

    This is a beautiful post, very poetically written with the verses of the Quran delicately spread through it at the right moments.

    May Allah swt bless whoever post and reads this and acts upon it, and please remember the umma 
    At a time in which the Muslims are beset with trials from every periphery, it is a time when Muslims should continue being Muslims, better Muslims. 

     

     

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  8. Br. Karim

    mashaAllah, great article, jazakAllah khairan. it is inspirational and a great reminder!

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  9. Wael - IslamicSunrays.com

    I anticipated that those few lines might stir some controversy. Al-Qadar (Divine predestination) is one of the most misunderstood concepts in Islam. I have gone back and inserted some explanations of al-Qadar into the article to clear this up Insha’Allah. Also, I suggest that next time you show less arrogance in your comments (“Fear Allah and do not ascribe injustice to Him.”) Taqwa of Allah and having a good idea of Him is not your province alone. If I have a different idea or understanding than you, it does not mean that I do not fear Allah. Insha’Allah we are all here to increase our knowledge and imaan, and to correct whatever mistakes we may make, myself included.

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  10. AponBondhu

    What if you really don’t know what your true calling is? 

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    • Wael - IslamicSunrays.com

      AponBondhu, give it time. Trust Allah and ask Him. Quiet your material desires or lusts and feel what your heart is calling you to. Ignore the naysayers. Do what feels right.

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  11. Aminaqueen

    I really enjoyed reading this, GREAT ARTICLE!  and INSPIRING! :D 

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  12. Muhammad

    Masha Allah, another great post Brother Wael, just finished reading. Sorry for being late; I have to say that I like your suit with blue tie:). Keep it up

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  13. Iffy 1

    Allahuakbar, did an exam to best of my strength. Leaving to Allah regarding my results. InshAllah

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  14. QL

    I love to read this post. You have shared such a beautiful knowledge with the world.
    Allah Almighty is the Creator of the entire world. He is a big Planner. He made the entire Universe with the big Plan. If you see any sight of nature, you come to know that everything has the symbol of God.

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  15. HMKing

    Assalamualkum Brother, thank you so much for this article.  You’ve touched upon a subject that is very close to my heart and that I’m currently researching in a bid to (inshallah) commit to the fulfillment of Allah’s plan for me.  I’m intrigued with the concept of individual life purpose and what Islam / Allah has to say about it.  Also, does Islam recognise the concept of God given gifts or talents that help us fulfill Allah’s mission or plan for us?

    I’ve been digging and digging hoping to come across some text or scriptures that delves into this and provides sources for reference, but no such luck as yet.  Would you happen to be able to point me in the right direction?  You have no idea what this would mean to me!Jazzakullahu khair in advance

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  16. Talat albegamy

    mashallah , i really enjoyed the article and it made me to become more determined about my situation and allah SWT will give me
     courage to be patient  and reach my destination in life inshallah

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  17. Fatima

    Great article- It’s not easy but Insha-allah one day I will be able to figure out what Allahs plan for me is and follow it, however hard it may be. 

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  18. Asela

    SubhanAllah this brought tears to my eyes. May Allah (swt) always lead us in the right path. Thank you for writing this. I really needed this at the time. Jazaka Allah Khair insh’allah. Thank you once again.

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  19. ftm

    this is such a good article made me feel much better now.. May Allah be pleased. inshallah.

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  20. iqra

    Aoa…i have a lots of confusions,,i want to discuss alots of things regarding Islam and peace,,,m peaceless,,can u help me Wael Abdelgawad???

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    • Wael Abdelgawad

      Iqra, as-salamu alaykum. I suggest you read some of my articles at IslamicSunrays.com. Alternatively, you could visit my Islamic advice website – IslamicAnswers.com – and submit a question there. Response time is currently about one month.

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  21. Connecting Pieces of Life-When bad things can bring something good | It's A Halal Life

    [...] As God writes the best of plans, my first job when I was 16 was as a Certified Nurses’ Aide (CNA) which trained me in providing range-of-motion exercise, patient lifting mechanics, personal hygiene care, and other useful skills and knowledge. Although my work with the elderly at St. Joseph’s Home for the Elderly, run by the Little Sisters of the Poor, was just a Saturday job while I was in high school (earning $2.40 per hour), I enjoyed serving meals, assisting residents with their much awaited baths, curling their hair in the facility’s “beauty shop,” dispensing medications, and lots of listening. They used to call me “Sweet Sue.” There was Antoinette (AKA Frenchie) from Canada who used to chat with me in French. I was not fluent, but she engaged me to love the language. Someone had said that she had no visitors except one nun who also spoke her language, and so I was heart bound to her. Within a few months though, I’d learned that she was declining food, despondent to end her life. She did not acquiesce from my pleading to eat, and a couple weeks later I was crushed with grief when Frenchie had died. [...]

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  22. Habeeb

    Jazakumu lahu khairan brother abdelgawad..
    After reading this article, my orientation changed immediately. It came at the right time, right moment and right point.I believe me reading this article at this time has been decreed by Almighty Allah because for the past few days I have been pondering over this issue. Alhamdulilah, am enlightened. My problem is solved insha Allah

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  23. sara

    but I’ve been asking for 9 years and not one of it is heard. i did every possible thing (prayer) nothings got answered till this day. that’s OK that we live for the hereafter, but to be alive and a stable (not mental) human we needs some needs while we are living. cant wait all my life end of the day we didn’t choose to come to the world we were not given the choice so we should be given that what we ask for, since advantage was taken of us (being helpless) and just made to be alive whether we wanted to not. that’s wrong that’s not fair and on top of that he don’t even listen. i don’t want rubbish like it might not be good for you. because if he can make something as big as the world he can make that whats not good for me good for me its as simple and like he says easy for him. so why ruin someones life by ignoring. if allahs plan aint going to be how we wish it to be then he might aswell just end our lives, that will be better because its us who suffer the pain and hardship not him. if his plans hurt us more no point living on with such pain. why give us a life and feelings if he was just going to hurt us? would rather be a wall if anything, at least i wont feel pain.

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  24. sara

    i really don’t know what to do, i try so hard with my prayers that sometimes in my dream im still praying salah. i try and pray all my salah on time and have been doing since the past 9 years but yet my life is still miserable. don’t know what to to where to go no one listens.

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    • Shaddi

      I’m really sorry sara that you feel that way, I can assure you that you are not the only one who may think/feel this way.

      The trick is to never get angry, even when things aren’t going our way. (anger is the most inwardly and outwardly destructive, and energy-wasting emotion, I’ve found). Always compare to those who have less. There are some people living with almost nothing, who may be perfectly happy, because the trick is we need to start to laugh and appreciate all of the little things. Patiently ask for what you -need- (not want) because Allah knows what we actually need more than what we assume that we need/want. He knows what’s best for us, but we have to TRULY trust Him. Keep adding onto your good deeds, and know that they will count.

      Think of everything you have right now, and truly be grateful for it. It may take some time, but tell yourself that you are COMPLETELY happy for the situation that you are in right now. (sometimes a quick change in your environment will help, like stepping outside).

      When I go outside, I like to forget most of my problems. I just sense the beautiful nature, and the sky, and in that moment, I tell myself that’s all I’ll ever need, nothing more. I tell myself this may be the last moment in this life, so what more could I possibly want at this very moment if I knew I was about to pass?

      Having this mentality is very difficult when sitting in the house, dwelling on our problems. Mostly it happens when not staying busy. Remember we do need to seek the things we need/want as well (that are halal), it will not always come in a gold-package on our front steps, but sometimes we need to put in that extra % of effort, not matter how hard it is, and no matter how hard we think we are trying.

      Don’t think about the things you don’t have, because that’s a deadly, endless cycle. We could, in theory, continue this cycle without end. Although I do not know the situation that you are in, it’d be fair to say that no one really has it perfectly. Even those who have that thing that you want (whether it be a partner, or basic living necessities), they may be dead inside, and maybe they are bad people as well.

      Maybe the trick is we need to stop comparing to others altogether, and tell ourselves we have no more needs, since we are still breathing, and our heart is still pumping, the next thing to do is to trust Allah and to have hope.

      If you know you are genuinely a good person deep down inside, you should be happy about that, and relax. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings. Read them over perhaps another day when you’re in a better mood, and try to figure them out. Understand why you are writing these things down. Think of general things, and specific things. Write down all of your good qualities. Remember how good you feel when you do good deeds/say good things to people? Is that sometimes reason enough to live? Not to mention that these said good deeds and words may bring us to Jannah? There may be a level of hope missing, which I struggle with as well. I’m happy that you that you have been continuing to pray for 9 years, and that you have not given up. Every day is a new, and different day, even if it seems to be the same. Perhaps Allah is waiting for you to fully appreciate everything that you have, or to change your mentality (I struggle with this), or to fulfill some certain duty, before He grants us more? (Please read: Surah 4:79)

      Remember to not forget to take care of your body, too. It is very important that we exercise everyday, or as much as we can. I try to go for jogs or bike rides everyday, and I always feel GREAT afterwards, no doubt. Running gives you ‘endorphins’ aka happy feelings! There is no denying this, Allah gave us the ability to do this. Perhaps you do not have legs, or have a leg problem. I’d feel very sorry for someone in this position, and if you don’t have that, be thankful. Be thankful for every working body part that you have. You can even do things like pushups, or weight lifting. Afterwards you feel better, naturally, as well as feeling good knowing you overcame a challenge, and are ready to overcome more challenges, filled with motivation.

      Don’t forget to eat healthy, as well. Eat vegetables and fruit everyday, and go to the doctor to make sure all of your vitamins and everything else is balanced. Appreciate the food that we can eat, as well as the water/juice/milk!! This should especially be learned during this month of fasting.

      Remember to meditate, or even try yoga, especially after a good boost of those running endorphins. Consider more caffeine, less caffeine, more sleep, less sleep?? Drink plenty of water, of course. I write down all of my dreams, I keep a dream journal, also includes all of my thoughts. I like to re-read these and try to find the hidden meanings behind them all. I write down pages of dreams everynight, and it may create some realizations and connections and meanings when you start jotting down your subconscious/this other realm we mysteriously go to every night (and the thoughts you’re having in the mysterious realm that you are reading this in right now!). The more you write it down as soon as you wake up, the easier it becomes, and the more fun/interesting it gets :P Listen to what your dreams are telling you! (but dont become obsessed, sometimes they are random, and sometimes from shaytan.)

      Study and ponder upon Allah’s words in The Noble Qur’an!!!!!!

      Write down to-do lists, goals, steps, deep thoughts and feelings. Share some of these with others. Ask for their input and advice.

      Me personally, sometimes I feel like I have nothing at all. Currently I’m jobless, living with my parents who argue and yell at each other all the time, tired a lot, lazy, don’t have great sense of smell/nose always stuffy/allergies so that may be contributing to it, so doesn’t make me feel ‘awake/great’. flunk school twice, am not a perfect Muslim, waste a lot of time it seems, sometimes lack energy and motivation myself. Really upset I don’t have a wife, which will always open up stupid, unnecessary temptations (sitting on the internet all day doesn’t help). I don’t have great amounts of motivation to search hard for a job/ebay (even though I’m decent with computers, and would love to donate to and help people), or even to learn Arabic, even knowing that everyday could be my last day. I know that I won’t stand a chance to be married, since I have no income and don’t even know the Qur’an in Arabic (I will only be marrying another Muslim, if that time ever came, insha’Allah!). But I get really down on myself for not having the motivation to spend as much time learning Arabic as I could/should, and that I’m wasting epic time (video games and such, although they can work-out your brain and be fun, alone or with friends, I sometimes feel guilty as the time goes by and the addiction and hopelessness and sadness/anxiety soars). I always think if I had a partner I’d be happier, and more motivated to do the things I want and need to do, and she can teach me Arabic/we learn together etc. And then I may start having the mentality that you have. and Ill think everyone else has a partner and it’s not fair for me, especially if I’m trying to follow the rules and that it’s way too difficult, or even impossible, and that I didn’t sign up for this either, and all sorts of negative thoughts, ETC.. It’s always one thing or person I might blame that goes wrong, in which makes everything ‘wrong’, and so I play the blame-game all day, until I forget who to blame/why I’m blaming/what I’m frustrated about. After I blame I may feel like I have no more duties to attend to, since everything is going wrong anyways, and that I can’t do more.

      It’s okay to take breaks and breathers here and there, but in a halal way. De-stressing is important. I’ve found nothing helps as much as exercising, and it’s a matter of just putting on some shoes (don’t even have to) and run, or even bike. I either hard-pedal to work-out, or just relax and go for a stroll around town.

      I think of the people in my life that have meaning to me, even though they are not Muslim I hope that Allah guides them someday (which involves people to seek Him). Sometimes, since I have no Muslim friends, I feel completely alone and isolated, like I’m doing this all alone, with no backup, and don’t necessarily feel a connection to anything or anyone. It’s difficult to know if I’m doing well or not doing well, and my brain just breaks apart.

      And other times I feel that I could just love everyone, whether I know them or not, no matter what religion. and I realize that we are all in this together, and that every single person and living creature matters, we are all different and the same at the same time, we all have good things and bad things. and that we all share the same thoughts and feelings, and that we all sort of ‘know’ how it is (or seems to be). It’s good to surround yourself with good people. Try to make good friends (this is something I’d like to do more of). I try not to judge others, I used to suffer with social anxiety but thank Allah that is no longer the case, but I still find myself being very anti-social. Create healthy hobbies and make good connections with others and seek the good things/thoughts/feelings/people to remind yourself of the good in this world, and how it will be multiplied by the infinite in the next life. Become 100% sure of this faith, always do things to increase your faith, and to please Allah (our purpose), such as helping others, or learning, as it will make you feel better. Sometimes looking at the sky/nature is too mysterious and perfect for us to understand, and is more miraculous and meaningful than any other useless negativity that we allow ourselves to drag us spiraling downwards.

      Think of death. Think of how little everything here will mean, when we ultimately reach that point. Be ready for death. It may strike at any moment. We will face Allah. Know that we are constantly facing Allah at every moment, and that He knows and is aware of all, and of what is in our hearts. Think of how others may feel if you are gone. Imagine seeing your own grave. Or perhaps of someone you love. Find the correct level of attachment to this world. Sometimes we need to be more attached to someone, or ourselves. Sometimes less. We are all struggling, but only as much as we tell ourselves we are.

      Remember that people care about you. I care about you. I don’t even know you. So if I care, don’t you think Allah cares? Allah loves us, especially the believers !! (and its not difficult to believe, we are programmed to do so. We are alive; and we did not create ourselves, thus there is one Creator!) Allah is MOST forgiving, compassionate, loving, merciful, kind, gentle (the list goes on). Think of someone who has these qualities. Now imagine Allah who has created these attributes, imagine the level of His!! Let’s realize this, and put Allah’s greatness and power and light into our heart.

      Let’s appreciate the little things more. It’s as simple as being aware and at awe at the weather. Live in the NOW, or the PAST, or the FUTURE, or switch it up, which ever works for you. As long as you try to become more aware of Allah at every moment, and do not blame Him, just accept the situation that we are in at this very moment. If you received Paradise for eternity, would you still be upset??? Each. And. Every. Single. Snowflake. Is. Different. And. Unique. Than. The. Last. Think of these little things. That’s a miracle. How about the Fibonacci sequence in nature? Miracle. Feel and understand and observe and love the snowflakes, the rain drops, the sun’s rays, the moon, the wind, the cool air, the birds chirping, the perfect, working orbit of our little dot on the map of space within billions upon billions of galaxies. MIRACLES. Allah connects with us in different ways. Let’s smile, and let’s remain humble, patient, and grateful. Do you think that 9 years of praying will go to waste? Do you wish for things more from this world, or from the next???

      Think that everything is in perfect working order and is going as planned. Sometimes you have to crash a car into a pole and survive to realize how much you appreciate being alive!!! (this happened to me). Some suffering is required to receive reward. Think of how happy you’ll be if you ever do obtain this thing that you seek, but don’t let it become your purpose in life. Allah has the Highest Attributes. Everyday is a NEW day, with a FRESH start, with a chance for changes that WE can make. I understand where you are coming from. We’ve made it this far. Good deeds erase and outweigh the bad!! Let’s continue to try to have the purest of intentions, to do good deeds, to keep praying, and to beat this mentality and depression. If we had it all to begin with, wouldn’t that be sort of boring? The hope and fear of the next life, and the joy in wanting to and finally being able to overcome our struggles and challenges (and knowing that anything is possible, and miracles do happen!), is either what drives us to continue forward, or to give up. So which will it be?

      I wish you and everyone else the very best.

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      Reply
      • sara

        hey thanks for the reply.In this message, you have some very good points, which did really get me thinking. Especially when you mentioned noticing the little things like nature and doing exercise etc. I mostly spend my time (summer time) up the country side with my friend but the more I look at it the more depressed I get it just reminds me of loneliness. You said you feel better when you go for a walk around town. I feel depressed when I go thee too, I particularly avoid going to city centers because I see too many people and big crowds (obviously), when I see too many people I just think there are too many people in the world when and why would Allah listen to me then? The thoughts just make me feel hopeless. Even when I went umrah (2011) I felt and thought the same, there were too many people it feels like I’ll probability will be the last one to be heard. My life will probably by the time my turn comes waiting in the list. That’s why I stay away from busy places.

        People will probably look at me and think I am complaining for no reason, mashallah I have part time job, I’ve just graduated (although a degree was never something I dreamed about, its just a paper for me). But here is where my depression will grow deep now that I don’t even have uni anymore. Coming back to the point where you said you don’t know what my problem is, well to some/most it seems really ridiculous and pettish, but for m it’s the reason for why I am so hurt and if it weren’t for this reason may be my life would have been perfect and enjoyable.

        Well I don’t know where to start from. I met a boy when I was 15,from then until now we are very good friends, we have felt attracted to each other too. We’ve been together in the past but he says to me that was a fling for him. We broke up and we’re just friends now, but close friends, sometimes closer than friends. The problem starts here, I want him to marry me (and that’s the only reason why I have always remained close to him) but for some reasons he always pull back from me when I mention marriage (of his) and mine to him, but on the other hand he’s happy to marry anyone else. He’s close to me and everything but doesn’t want me. The fact that he doesn’t want me really hurts me, I feel so unwanted and I feel disrespected too because I always gave him the priority in return I’m just the option. Moreover, because I feel that I’ve always prioritised him, it makes me feel I’ve worked more than hard for him and I deserve to get him as my achievement. Instead I always be given pain, neglect and disrespect. At times I wish I could just puke him put of my heart and system.

        Where Allah comes into it is when I ask him to make this guy somehow be won by me. I’ve been asking for this for at least 4 years now and I am really annoyed because I have not got any pleasing results yet. Recently (about 2 weeks ago) it was his birthday and he finally realised that the only person who has without fail said happy birthday to him for the past 8/9 years is me so he decided to come and see me. While we were driving one of his mates rang and must have asked what you up to or where are you? So he replied I’m with next ( AKA random) girl. That got to me but I dint show it much. Then before we went home I asked him what do you normally do on your birthday? And he replayed last year I spent it with a girl ( may be he was seeing her) that really broke me down but I dint say much I was scared incase he gets furious. The painful thing is that he gives everyone else the chance and respect and everything but not me. Instead he questions that he doesn’t know how I can say he’s hurt me. I sometimes really wish that who he gives so much importance to chooses others over him so he knows why I say he’s hurt me. This is because I feel so hurt being treated like an optional toy or accessory. I’m going to stop there with my life story, the summary is that he’s only come to me for his and at his convenience and other than that he doesn’t care. He knows I really do like him (I don’t know why I like him) but yet he’d show to me his interested in others. And one more thing one day he saw me when he was with his friends and he came over and spoke to me for a while. Shortly after I left he text me saying my mate wants you, why don’t you go to him? This is something he would not have the guts to say to anyone (other girls), its really lowering and disrespectful. Then again he questions how has he hurt me? I really wish all the pain, neglect disrespect and loneliness he’s given to me come to him too and he remembers me at the time.

        When I see that even though he has hurt me so much yet he is loving life, I feel really hurt and that’s why allah gets me angry because he is helping someone who has really hurt me. Instead of making him realise how bad he is he is giving him a life full of joys. Not to mention this lad I am talking about does know the difference between right and wrong and he can confidently speak about how people get tested and how ones got to be patient and have faith in allah, and that allah has better plans and all the rest. So I’m saying if he’s so confident and thinks he knows it all about these tests then why don’t he just get tested if nothing he can start by getting tested giving me the pay back. He doesn’t pray ( may be once every Friday sometimes or not even that). So why don’t the test be thrown on him. I don’t want to be tested I’m sick of this testing I’ve been through 9 long hard painful years and to be honest with you never got that what I wanted. If Allah’s plan hurts then I don’t think I can call it a good or better plan. No matter where I get to in life I will remember how this guy has hurt me and no matter what better I may have this thought will always sadden me and make me feel let down.

        Now you’ll probably be thinking I am asking for haraam things, but its not as haram as you think. The only reason why I ever got involved with this guy is because I wanted to be with him and marry him and marrying someone isn’t haram.
        The other thing I am sometimes asking for is for him to realise how wrong and bad he is for treating me how he treats me. I’m sure you can come to a mutual agreement that disrespecting someone is wrong, hurting someone is wrong and having too much pride in ones self is wrong too. All of that which is a mixture in him which he pours out on me and he is easily getting away with it.

        I don’t even know if I’ve made sense in this because as I am writing my mood and feelings are up and down anger and pain. But just want to say thank you very much for you reply it did help in some ways.
        Thanks

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      • Aashiq Hussain

        @sara,
        I am being a friendly and advising you. Don’t take my any comments as offense. I love you because you are a fellow Muslim and I wish best for you. So take it in positive way.

        Allah hears everyone any time you call upon him. He gives sustenance to an insect under this earth that you and I even do know is there. Without his knowledge not a leaf parts from its branch. You never doubt Allah’s knowledge and power.

        You as a Muslim are supposed to love Allah most. You shouldn’t complain to Allah just because that guy is not marrying you. What if there is someone else praying for that guy? what if you get married to him and then he doesn’t respect you like he is not doing it now? He doesn’t care about you after marriage? If he doesn’t appreciate you now, why would he appreciate you after marriage?

        Here is Quran’s verse:
        “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”

        I assume you are in you teens or in early twenties. This is the age when you go blind. What you call love, I call it obsession. Many claim they love Allah, but will never die to meet or be with Him. Then they say they love a girl/boy, and they die to be with them. They never want to lose them. It is just an obsession.

        Trust me, you will get over it with time.

        And in Islam, marriage is not how you think it is. You marry for the sake of Allah ONLY. It is a form of worship. You look for a partner and ask Allah’s help to find you a Religious one. You don’t get obsessed with one guy or girl. If you two don’t get married, you look for another match. It is not about being an option. It is about compatibility. When you say no to a guy’s marriage proposal, you just mean that you two won’t be happy if you marry one another. Then you move to look for another match.

        I have been praying for righteous wife and religious kids since I was about 18. And Many times, I felt that I found a good match. But It never was meant to be. I always keep my kids in mind. That is what I want from my wife. Question I ask is, “Will she be a good mother.” . “Can she help me come closer to Allah?” . This is what marriage is about. You have to keep these things in mind. I am ready to remain unmarried if I don’t find a good girl. I was thinking to save some money and get married to any girl. But now, I will save that money for Hajj, In Sha Allah. No one has died without marriage yet :)
        Set your priorities in order. I am not saying that you don’t get married. I am just saying don’t run after guys.

        May be you are young right now and you might not get what I am saying. But trust me your view about marriage will change after 2 or 3 years and you will smile when you will think about your obsession about this guy.

        Don’t force yourself on him. There will come a guy, one who is written in your destiny to be your husband, who will treat you like something precious. If you force yourself on this guy he will not respect you.
        Work on your faith and religion, Allah will give you a better person as husband. Be such a woman that every MUSLIM guy would want you to be his wife. If a guy has NO religion, he is not worth it. Let him go.

        Hadith is:
        “Hadith Al-Bukhari – Narrated Abu Huraira:
        The Prophet said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.”

        Same applies when you are looking for a husband.

        You know, Allah is far far far merciful. Most of the times we humans don’t understand His wisdom behind He denying us things.
        You are not a loser or low-being when humans think so about you or treat you with no respect. It is when you yourself don’t respect yourself, when you don’t trust Allah that whatever He is doing to you He is doing it in best interests for you. Trust Him.

        Allah tests with many form of tests. This might be a test for you. Prophet Muhammad lost his father when he wasn’t even born. Then his mother when he was still a young kid. Do you think yours is a tragedy and his wasn’t? He didn’t complain Allah. Why are you?

        Stay strong and let this phase of life pass, you will be much better.

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      • sara

        Thanks Ashiq.

        Thanks, you guys have made sense to me and I appreciate that your trying to help me. Yes your right I’m at that age when people go ‘blind’ (23). Since Shaddi messaged me I have really been thinking about it, and I’ve tried not to think about that guy (obviously how he’s been with me still hurts). I think about Palestine, Syria and everywhere and how they are being brutally attacked by terrorists. Then I pray for them before I pray for any of my needs, and then I thank Allah that he has kept me safe.

        The verse you quoted about wanting something which may be bad for one, I read that few yeas ago it kind of helped me but then I fell depressed again. what you said you wanted your wife to give, I had all that planned in me to give to him. I wanted to be his wife who loved both him and his family, who was by them through good times and bad. I see my prayers as the most important duty of mine, I’d want my house to be blessed full of barkat and always remind my self and family that where Muslims and there’s a certain way of life. But he just rejected all that and threw it in my face. I’ve shattered so bad that I don’t even feel like feeling like that for anybody anymore, because they might just turn around and do the same.

        You mentioned that look for proposals, I don’t want to do it that way I don’t think I’ll be confident enough. My mum says I cant go and meet the guy in person on my own and I’m not confident when families come over. The other thing is I don’t wanna reject someone because that’s not nice, and I don’t want to be rejected either because it’ll really break my confidence even more. Between the two I’m stuck. I have/want to be married by a certain age. How people have had ambitions of their career etc, I’ve always wanted this ideal guy to get married to, that would have been my foundation to start my life up. Career and the rest would have depended on my foundation. But I’m not too interested in working after I’m married I know that if I pray regularly and be cautious about halal and haraam my household will be blessed anyway.

        Anyway thanks for your comment it does help and I do appreciate it. I’m trying not to think about that guy. Instead, I am intending to go clean in local mosques (voluntary), hoping that will keep my mind off him and bring me closer to religion. Just hope that I start straight after Ramadan.

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      • sara

        Thanks Ashiq.
        Thanks, you guys have made sense to me and I appreciate that your trying to help me. Yes your right I’m at that age when people go ‘blind’ (23). Since Shaddi messaged me I have really been thinking about it, and I’ve tried not to think about that guy (obviously how he’s been with me still hurts). I think about Palestine, Syria and everywhere and how they are being brutally attacked by terrorists. Then I pray for them before I pray for any of my needs, and then I thank Allah that he has kept me safe.

        The verse you quoted about wanting something which may be bad for one, I read that few yeas ago it kind of helped me but then I fell depressed again. what you said you wanted your wife to give, I had all that planned in me to give to him. I wanted to be his wife who loved both him and his family, who was by them through good times and bad. I see my prayers as the most important duty of mine, I’d want my house to be blessed full of barkat and always remind my self and family that where Muslims and there’s a certain way of life. But he just rejected all that and threw it in my face. I’ve shattered so bad that I don’t even feel like feeling like that for anybody anymore, because they might just turn around and do the same.

        You mentioned that look for proposals, I don’t want to do it that way I don’t think I’ll be confident enough. My mum says I cant go and meet the guy in person on my own and I’m not confident when families come over. The other thing is I don’t wanna reject someone because that’s not nice, and I don’t want to be rejected either because it’ll really break my confidence even more. Between the two I’m stuck. I have/want to be married by a certain age. How people have had ambitions of their career etc, I’ve always wanted this ideal guy to get married to, that would have been my foundation to start my life up. Career and the rest would have depended on my foundation. But I’m not too interested in working after I’m married I know that if I pray regularly and be cautious about halal and haraam my household will be blessed anyway.

        Anyway thanks for your comment it does help and I do appreciate it. I’m trying not to think about that guy. Instead, I am intending to go clean in local mosques (voluntary), hoping that will keep my mind off him and bring me closer to religion. Just hope that I start straight after Ramadan.

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      • Shaddi

        I pretty much agree with everything that Aashiq Hussain said. That should be some really good advice for you. At the end of the day, who do you love more: the One who created you, when you could die any second, and has a better plan for you (involving something/someone way better than this guy (who doesn’t pray??)), or another creation that makes you feel WORSE about yourself?? It HAS become an obsession, but don’t worry, I and others can relate to this silliness (its not silly but when we look at it rationally, its silly, but emotionally it does hurt), and unfortunately I had a similar situation. Not needing to get into many details, but I felt betrayed in this way as well, and it sucks when this particular person still sometimes clouds my mind, and even appears in my dreams! And I thought we were being guided together, I was trying to teach her about Islam, etc. Thought it was perfect and meant to be, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t; I knew it was just a fantasy. (ooh rhymes).

        But seriously, see yourself being marred to him. See that he isn’t praying, while you are. How will that make you feel? Does it matter what really happens to us in this life? The next life is going to be completely different. Maybe he knows he is wrong (maybe he actually feels bad about himself deep down, you aren’t the other person), or maybe he is being tested in a different way, or will be. Perhaps you ARE being tested. And now the other half of it is to not judge him (leave this to Allah, and not you, otherwise it creates more stress, we aren’t supposed to judge like that it destroys us!!) , or to even worry about him! This is going to be very hard, but when I tell you this I mean it: remove him from your life completely, you have no reason to talk to him if it’s only going to make you feel BAD about yourself. Remove that sort of negativity. Allah gives us rewards in ways we will never imagine once we accept what we currently have, because we had nothing before. Allah may take things away from us to make us realize, He is the One who gave us life and basic things in the first place. It’s really about going back to the very basics. Surround yourself with positive people if you don’t like tons of people, but at least get used to the idea. It’s weird to be a in crowd in the city where everyone sort of keeps to themselves. Allah takes care of EVERYONE, no one is left out, so you have to stop having this mentality to proceed, and to perhaps receive more.

        So maybe you will get rewarded and he will get punished, in the next life? (or maybe He bestows mercy upon him, and you! He does on whom He wills (and being a good person with good deeds always goes far! Keep collecting those good deeds and watch what happens, at least you’ll feel great! Even small simple ones: help clean or anyways that you can, give kind words, smile! Volunteer? Extra hugs to your family! All good deeds are rewarded :D ).

        How we will know what Allah’s plan for us is for sure? Why try to involve ourselves in others’ lives, if it only makes us feel worse. There are a ton of people out there. And as the poster above me said, Allah cares about ALL of his servants. Thinking that you won’t be answered to DENIES Allah’s power. If He created the entire universe, and keeping our Earth in steady, constant, safe orbit, allows our breathing and heartbeat typically take us through life, on autopilot! etc, etc. We know He is Most Powerful, so do not doubt that. Do not lose hope. You need to pray with full confidence that you will be answered, full confidence that He is LISTENING. Pray with the HEART, not with just words. Pray for Him to GUIDE YOU to whatever/whomever it may be. (not to a specific person, when He knows what’s/who’s ACTUALLY best for you, when you don’t, as hard as that sounds). Again like Aashiq Hussain said, there is a REASON for everything that happens to you. You are being TESTED, and everyone is tested in different ways, like others have said: some with poverty, some loneliness (perhaps like us), mental issues, family issues, loss of people, tons of different things. So best way to approach these tests is with PATIENCE, and knowing that Allah will give you something/someone BETTER for trusting Him COMPLETELY, as silly as it might sound. Again, if the man of your dreams came into your life, you will forget about this kid completely, I’m sure. Things change. Things happen. Miracles happen. Keep up the hope. Stay in touch here, we want to help, I’m glad that some of that advice was taken and has helped!!

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      • Aashiq Hussain

        Brother, I wanted to reply @Sara but there is no ‘Reply’ button. So replying here.
        @Sara, I agree with what @Shaddi brother said.
        There is no need to be diffident. What you are is not how people around you perceive you. When someone declines your proposal it doesn’t mean you should lose your confidence. He may be looking for something else in marriage. That is OK. we are different. You may like chicken soup but another person with you might not like it. No big deal.
        You wanna be happy then you have to love yourself as you are and just keep improving in your deen. There is no need to lose hope or confidence. Allah is always there, no matter how big your problem. Don’t let people put you down. If you try to please others you will end up living a sad life. As long as Allah is happy with you and is there with doors open for you, you have no need to worry. Just turn to Him.

        How does one feel if all city, including your own family members, make fun of you just because you do something that no one in the city or the world does? Everyone calls you mad, possessed, insane and even throw stones at you when you walk a street.

        How does it feel when you are trying for more that 800 years to make some people to understand that there is no God but Allah. and people around make fun of you and laugh at you. They will put there fingers into theirs ears to ignore what you are saying.

        How would you feel if people around make fun of you and laugh at you just because you cover your body out of modesty. They even go to say that you have some problem with your private parts? That is why you are covering your body.

        How will you feel if Allah Himself throws you out of Jannah with your spouse because you didn’t obey His ONE Command.

        How will you feel? Just imagine each case with you on street and people talking to you like that.

        First case is of Prophet Muhammad. Second, Prophet Noah. Third Prophet Mosa. And Fourth Prophet Adam. May Allah Be Pleased With All Of Them.

        They did feel low too. They thought it is their fault that is why people are making fun of them and refusing to accept their message. BUT Allah Said to them, their only job was to convey the message of Allah. Guidance is in the hands of Allah.
        Noah lived so long and yet only few people accepted his message. Even his own wife and son refused him.

        Lesson is you do your part and leave it up to Allah. And MAJORITY proves nothing in Islam. It doesn’t matter what majority think of you. All that matters is what you think of Allah.
        As Allah says, He Is what His slave thinks of what He is.

        Have faith in him. Marriage is in the hands of Allah. Your Partner is written for you. When time is right he will come no matter where you are.

        I myself am 24. I would marry right now :P But I have faith in Allah. If He has written someone for me then she will come (Or I might need to Go :) ) Even if I have lost all my teeth and hair to old age :D

        Trust Allah and keep recharging your Imaan. It is easy to lose faith in Allah and fall prey to Satan’s whispers when you don’t get things you want. Stay with good religious people.

        May Allah give us strength hold on to our Imaan.

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      • sara

        Thanks Aashiq, you guys do really get me thinking on the advice you give to me. I read yours and Shaddi’s messages everyday; it just gets me thinking positive and encourages me to hope for better as well as reminding me to be more dutiful towards Allah. Mashallah you to are two very positive and thankful people I’ve come across I don’t think I know many/any like you guys.

        I’ve got a big problem, I figured this problem out a few months ago. I’ve realised that I can’t feel my feelings anymore (my feelings have turned numb because they weren’t valued). Now that has led me being careless about things. These things include being slightly careless about prayer too. I don’t know how to recall my self. I used to that girl who used to run home from school and college and quickly pray my prayers. In winter (when magribs at 4.00) I used to get home and make up for all the prayers I missed of the day. These days when I get late for my prayer/s I don’t even feel the guilt as much. Since I came back from umrah I used to pray a few pages of Quran every night but I’ve slowed down on that too. I feel like as if I’m being distanced from religion. I don’t want to be distanced. Give me some advice on how I can come close to religion again please.

        I get scared when people say your marriage partners are already written for you. What if mine turns out to be a big time player? My mum and dad have mostly argued throughout their marital life. They didn’t know each other. My mums religious and dad isn’t very religious and they argue most times due to that. then I know other (arranged) couples where the husbands looking around at other girls/women. I feel scared I really wouldn’t want to be treated like that. Is it actually true that marriage partners are written from before? What if you make dua can it change who’s written and be substituted for another? And I’m actually serious about this question, I know it sounds really childish lol but it something I really want to know.
        Keep in touch you, you get me thinking positive and help me look forward instead of just looking back.

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      • Aashiq Hussain

        @Sara, I wasn’t religious before. I changed recently. I too felt like i was drifting away from Allah.
        It is a positive that you realize that you are going away from religion. When I asked a knowledgeable person why I was feeling disconnected from Allah and how should I connect with Him. He said, to avoid bad company whenever you can. Watch Islamic video lectures from youtube. Pray on time, even if you feel your prayers are not being accepted. Stop thinking of future that is not in your control, work for today and what is in your control.

        I won’t suggest you to be on facebook, if you are weak to control yourself. But I personally benefited positively from it. I live somewhere where there are NO muslims around. So facebook was a good means to connect with other Muslims. You can choose who should be in your list. Just add good Muslim(Preferably girls). Then watching lectures on youtube from various scholars I learned a lot and it also strengthen my imaan (Alhamdullilah). With time we all need to recharge our Imaan and I think that is where we need positive Muslims around. You have internet at your disposal used it to connect to Muslim women, may be from your own area. Do something for others.

        Ignore when your parents fight. My parents fight too, sadly. I am away from my home so I don’t have to face that. When I go home I advice them not to. But I know it affects you in negative ways. It can bring down your confidence. Don’t think about their marriage, think about those who love each other. You can pray for a good spouse and In sha Allah you will get one. You know we are slaves of Allah, and He is our master. Master plays His role only when slave works and pleases Him(Master). So, you first need to have faith in Allah and you have to give your part then only you can expect Allah to help you.
        If you are ready to get married just try to find a good Muslim. When you have found one, perform Istikhara with faith in Allah’s decision.

        Search for lectures by Nouman Ali Khan, Mufti Menk, Khalid Yaseen etc. Then watch them. In sha Allah, they will help you.

        One of the weapons of Satan is to put waswaas in your heart. He makes you think that you are far away from Allah and there is no way back. He makes you feel that Allah doesn’t love you. He makes you think that Allah will not forgive your huge sins. This is not true. Allah is most forgiving and most loving to His creation. He loves His creation more than a mother loves her baby.
        But you need to understand life is a Test. Even His loved ones, Prophet’s, had to go through extremely difficult tests. Ask Allah to grant you strength to pass His tests.

        Stop thinking about that guy. Worry about Akhirah. You will get smartest guy in Jannah, In Sha Allah. Work on that :)

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      • sara

        Hmmm, I get u.
        what were you like before you were religious? (you don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna). i think i became interested in religion and practicing when i was about 15.

        i don’t have Facebook and all that crap i wish i didn’t exist. and to be honest i think facebook will make things worse for me so i don’t bother with all that. the problem is i know too many people and most of these people are baaaaad (and their on Facebook).

        I live where there are loads of Muslims, but i wouldn’t say that’s a good thing. all these Muslim kids (people my age, older and younger) are all into their own fun. when i was at college all my friends (muslims) used to drink they’d have at least 3 bottles a day, having a blunt was another common thing. it was really bad, i used to feel wrong chillin with them but they were fun people. its a good thing i wasn’t depressed then otherwise i would have probably been doing the same as them. but mashallah I’ve never touched such things and never will do inshallah.

        my parents kickoff doesn’t always get to me but it makes me feel like getting out of here sometimes. i dint want to think about happily married pairs otherwise i’ll start feeling left out lol. About looking for a decent muslim lad, i’ll have think about that deeply because i don’t exactly know what a decent person is like. when i think someone may be the right one i’ll do istikhara and then wait for the results.

        Thank you

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      • sara

        Hey Shaddi, thanks for the advice. I read yours and Aashiqs messages everyday. It helps me to think and be positive.
        I understand that this life completely different from the next life but one needs to be lively enough to get through this one first. The way that guy has treated me has totally depressed and destroyed me. I have thought too that I need to totally stop thinking about him; it just hurts me more when I think about him. It’s really hard though, he’s always in my day dreams. I don’t really know many positive people but like you said surround my self around positive people, I’ll try and do that so I stop thinking about him. I don’t even know why I like him so much.

        When ever I read through your first message I always kind of pause and just think about what you’re saying. I noticed that you said that you feel that you’re not a good Muslim. I was just wondering why you might have said that? According to me, you’re a really good person (even though I don’t know you in person) and a really good Muslim too. You’ve got very good understanding of Islam and god consciousness. That’s the most important thing a Muslim should have. I know many Muslims who call themselves Muslims but have very little or no god consciousness. God consciousness helps a person (Muslim) remember that they have a duty towards certain things i.e. prayers and being mindful about the hereafter. So what if you don’t know Arabic, (although its preferred to know Arabic) you’ve got good intentions, and you’ll be rewarded for your intention. You’re interested in the religion you get rewarded for that too. If you don know how to pray your salaah, don’t worry just do wudhu, face the qiblaa and stand and bow as if you’re praying have it in your heart that you’re doing this to please Allah. Even if you just say subhanallah though your prayer it will still be accepted (but don’t just leave it at that, do try to learn Arabic). Have you ever read the Quran in English? If not don’t worry even if you can get hold of an Arabic one just open it have a look at it, and just say to your self that you really respect this book and believe in every verse of it, and believe that Allah will reward you for it. I’ve got a really good Quran its in Arabic, Arabic English and English translation. By the way I don’t mean to be giving you a lecture because your much wiser than me ,I’m just saying don’t be upset about not knowing Arabic.
        If you don’t mind me asking, have you recently converted to Islam?

        I found how you write your dreams really amazing. I tried doing that too but just don’t get round to doing it. You said somebody ‘clouds your mind’ (i love your metaphors lol) it must be depressing, my minds always cloudy. The good thing is he doesn’t appear in my dreams, he only appears a lot in my day dreams, which makes my day hard to get through. Just hope this loneliness goes away from you, me and all who are feeling lonely.

        I don’t even know how I ended up on this site I was just upset and was after some solutions, I ended up on here and came across some really good people like you and Aashiq. I’m just gong to say the same to you Keep in touch, you get me thinking positive and help me look forward instead of just looking back.

        (sorry my wording, spellings, structure, clarity and grammar aint as good as your lots, ive been grafting too hard on thousands of word essays in the last six months so my writing has become really poor).

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      • Shaddi

        Yes, thank Allah we aren’t in such a horrible position (and even so, He does not burden us more than we can bear, each of us is different, and has a different story).

        Maybe you’ll meet someone to marry/someone willing to connect you with someone, at the mosque =) Great idea there either way.

        Also check this out, an article about provision:
        http://www.hizb.org.uk/islamic-culture/the-meaning-of-rizq-provision

        And this, it’s one hour but it really helped me when I was sort of in the crossroads with someone:

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      • sara

        Thanks Sahddi, (wonder where you find all these from). This video is a good explanation of ‘love’.

        The bad thing is my love seems more likely to be lust. It’s fitting into the category of addiction.
        A few month ago a was feeling like I’m on the same level as a druggy, but now I’m assured that I am on that level.

        My answers to her questions about waking up, going to bed and praying were all negative answers. I’m in the deep end. I always end up in a mess up, now my prayers aren’t even good enough.

        However, one thing I will say is that my lust actually got me praying. The more I craved the more I’d sit down, pray, and even make dua. Therefore, in that way I will say my lust brought me closer to Allah than take me further away.

        The kinda guy she described to be ‘ideal’ it would be very, very hard to find. Would probably have to travel the world for that .

        Thanks for posting this video shaddi, you’re a star. 

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  25. Svera

    Allah isnt just there because you believe in him
    Hes there because he loves you
    Be true to allah and his plans
    Ameen

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  26. Lost

    Dear brother,

    Is our future spouse predetermined or do we have a choice? I know age, risq, and death is, but is a life partner already chosen for us?

    Thank you

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  27. Amanda (Fatima)

    Masha’Allah Brother, as a revert I searched for the understanding of the difference between free will and pre destination. I found some answers but continued to have difficultly until Subhan’Allah you shared Sheikh Al-Munajjid’s explanation.

    Allah’s plan for us, I hope I can now get that push I need to move forward and not just think about what I would like to do but start to build that road until I get there, one brick at a time.

    May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala grant you much success in this life and the highest of Jannah in the next … ameen

    Jazak’Allah Kharian

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