AsSalamu ‘Alaykum everyone,

you guys heard about that uncontacted tribe that was discovered in brazil? imagine…this is only south america. we should have a lot more back home in india!

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/popup?id=4962790

I posted this in the Pornography section but it would not let me for some reason…..here is my story.

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Before I begin, I wanted to say Jazakam Allahu Khayran to all the brothers who have shared their stories on this topic. Just reading through the posts on this subject has helped me curb my problem a lot when I come face to face to it at certain times, but….I’m still addicted.

I’ll try to be vague but still get the point across inshaAllah so others can benefit from this post. And of course, keep myself anonymous for obvious reasons. But for the meanwhile, I’ll go by the name Ubaydullah. I am a Muslim male between the ages of 15-20 (the younger group of the addicts, not that it makes me the “better porn addict” as it was stated before) and have been addicted since I was 11. Of course you can’t blame anyone but yourself for the addiction, but I wished my parents would have kept our computer in a public area at that time I developed my addiction instead of in a secluded portion of the house in our basement. I was going through puberty at that time period as well which caused a big problem.

The time I discovered porn, I remember that it was out of curiosity. I would be playing a game on a website or something and than an ad would come up and I would click on it. This led me to different portals I wish I hadn’t discovered.

Then came the drive to keep going at it. I would go to school (SubhanAllah, in the 5th/6th grade we would be talking about these things) and kids would be engrossed in discussions about sex, pornography, private parts, etc which would worsen my problem.

Oh you Muslim parents out there! Your child is not free of sin. When he goes to school, he learns more than he should (which is not a good thing here in reference to the topic). You must spend time with your children and when the time approaches, teach him/her about sex education through Islam’s teaching methods. Do not let the schools dictate this subject to your kid. I remember my parents talked to me about sex the first time was for maybe 10 minutes after my dad found out they were teaching us about it at Sunday School. Than when I turned 12, my parents asked me if the school talked to me about “sensitive issues.” Again, the only way I learned about sex was through school, kids, and sex ed (I HIGHLY recommend for brothers/sisters to completely throw this class out of your schedule if you have a chance). Now back to my story.
It became a regular thing for me. I’d come home from school and just watch porn for maybe an hour everyday. Than as you get older, you start to masturbate as well. That became a regular habit. Now, Alhamdullilah the porn habit is a little bit curbed….but I still battle with the problem of masturbation.

At this point I wanted to make a bulletin which worsens the situation. Allah (SWT) has blessed me to study Islam full-time in America. Studying Islam will not necessarily cure the problem, but it sure will help. Don’t EVER think huffadh and ulema don’t get addicted to this problem. It’s actually easier for them than us laymen. My teacher used to give the example that the student of knowledge has 10 shayateen upon himself while the regular worshipper has only 1.

I realized that I have an addiction with is as equal to maybe smoking weed or some other type of substance abuse. I have made dependability upon that thing and must stop for I will have to stand in front of Allah and will have to account for my disgusting habit in one hand while doing this pure act of studying my deen in the other. I remember that at a time, I wanted to talk to a brother about my problem. So I told him and he couldn’t help me in any regard. That REALLY hurt me. I just told my deepest, darkest secret and you can’t give me any advice?! Than I told someone else, a close friend of mine. AlHamdulillah, may Allah (SWT) increase him in his knowledge and life. He was truly a solace and hope for me. He would sort of guide me through the way. I also called the Muslim Youth Helpline – http://www.ajyal.ca/ in Canada. (MuslimMatters posted on this a bit ago). MashaAllah, just being able to talk and get help for this problem was a relief for me….at the same time remaining anonymous. May Allah (SWT) increase their benefits for the Muslim Ummah. Ameen

My real problem is not pornography now, its masturbation..like i mentioned above. (Porn still plays a role in my life today, unfortunetly). I wish I could get married tomorrow to cure the problem. But than again, due to age and money factors its not happening. And I can’t come to my parents and say, “Mom, dad, can I get married so I can stop masturbating and watching porn?” So what do I do? What the Prophet (SAW) said. Fast. Yea, sure, it’s the summer months, the days are long and the nights are short. But, do you really have a choice? You have to do it for the sake of Allah. I know brothers that want to curb their sexual appetite with fasting but can’t go on w/ for more than 3-4 days. Who said you have to fast everyday? Do it every other day. If not that than every Monday and Thursday. (Don’t set your standards lower than that).

As well as fasting, you have to increase the level of your worship. Start praying all your salawat in the masjid with the congregation, start using a miswaak (people take this for granted too much. Click here for the benefits of the miswak – http://www.islam.tc/Miswaak/), start giving charity, etc. Generally make a huge increase in your good deeds.

Tahajjud plays a BIG role in getting rid of this problem. Some people think that tahajjud is praying for 2 hours in the night w/o a break and tiring yourself for the day (which is fine if you can handle it). But for myself, I realized the best type of Tahajjud for me was to get up from bed only 30 minutes before Fajr, pray 2-4 raka’ahs, and make Du’aa to Allah (SWT) to cure this problem for myself. Another thing which people have taken for granted are the daily Adhkar that are to be said after Fajr + ‘Asr everyday. I think that this is the biggest aid in fighting my porn addiction off. Print and memorize the Du’aas here – http://makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=27. Read this article from Kalamullah titled “The Remedy for Excessive Love of Women.” – http://www.kalamullah.com/brothers00.html And for those who haven’t, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to the lecture by Bilal Assad titled “Ahmad the Repenter.” – http://www.kalamullah.com/Bilal%20Assad/Bilal%20Assad%20-%20Ahmad%20The%20Repenter.mp3 That was another thing which greatly helped me to fight my desires. (In most places you’ll find this lecture as low quality, but Kalamullah did a job with brushing it up and making it clear).

Now in regards to getting healed, first things first….

1. REPENT! I read a hadith from the rays of faith class that if after sinning, one repents from a sin within 6 hrs, it will not be written down for him. But remember…you must REPENT every single time you do this sin. You must feel guilty and ask Allah (SWT) to forgive you (as mentioned above).
2. Make a determination inside yourself to quit. Not for a day, not for a month but FOREVER. You can’t succeed w/o this.
3. Forget the Computer (even though I love MuslimMatters :D). But, if you HAVE TO use the computer, than start with Bismillah when you press the power button and keep a copy of the Qur’an in front of you and have some Quraan or something (an Islamic reminder) playing in the background. Most people that get addicted to the problem sit at the computer for hours and hours doing nothing but TRYING to find something to do usually (i.e. waste time). The computer has good and bad. I personally think there is more bad and I try to keep my computer usage to a limit. If you don’t have a specific purpose to use the computer, than DON’T USE IT (This is my personal opinion so hold onto to those fatwas saying I’m wrong). If you really need the computer than make sure there are people around you. If there aren’t, than make sure you go to the library or something. There are time I realized I should not use the computer at all.

1. After ‘Ishaa

2. After Fajr

3. When no one is at home (this is obvious)

4. Avoid Sins. Here I mean movies (no matter what fatwa you’ve got saying its okay if you skip the kissing scences), music, mixed gatherings, etc.
5. Keep good company. Meaning people who talk of Allah (SWT) and his greatness. But don’t forget that its better to be alone than to be with bad company.
6. The 21 Day Rule. In Sh. Muhammad Faqih’s “Rules of Engadgement” class, he discussed “The 21 Day Rule.” It is scientifically proven that if someone has a bad habit (pornography + masturbation here) and completely abstains against doing it for 21 days, inshaAllah, if it hasn’t already broken, it will be very easy to leave that bad habit. Also, Sh. Muhammad AlShareef mentions in his Perished Nations lecture series that when I child’s behavior is not good, the family should travel and relocate until the child comes to terms with reality and fixes himself. I found that the Tableeghi Jama’at plays a big role here. If you enroll for their “40 Day package,” I think this is the easiest way to solve the problem of porn overall. (If you are addicted pornography and say this group is deviated than good luck quitting.)

I could keep on giving tips, but I don’t want to repeat any of the steps mentioned in the above posts…..

I wanted to talk to brothers who are experiencing this fitnah in their lives so I could in a way cure it and help others do it at the same time. I set up an e-mail address just for this reason. It’s xxxx please send me a message. This is all I can think of right now. May Allah make it easy first for me to leave this fitnah than the rest of the Ummah. Ameen

Better to avoid giving your personal email info. out. If anyone wants to contact the brother, email us at info at//muslimmatters dott org and we’ll pass it on – Editor

Salamu alaykum,

Is there a function you can add to the website that allows people to track comments posted by one author the way they can track articles? Sometimes the shuyukh post really good points and messages in the comments section and you dont want to miss out. If you could click on the name of the shaykh and then have a list of all their recent comments that would make things much easier. I would strongly encourage MM to add something like this, in shaa Allah. Does the software support it?

Jazakum Allahu khairan

so….i guess thats the end of our open thread for today….

@ ibnabeeumar

I did write Insha Allah!

And the guarantee is that you get what you want to change or you get your money back, not that I have perfection in my outcomes every single time!

Usually it is my experience that anyone who really wants to change and follows instructions will change insha Allah.

As for breaking the addiction then I have mentioned some more detail on my website (injil.co.uk). Basically you create behavioural patterns which run in your mind-body. We can cause an interrupt and the pattern changes, then the addiciton pattern no longer runs in the same way that it did before. We can even send it in another direction. I had one brother in Birmingham in whom I installed a compulsion to learn Arabic, so we can install addiction/compulsion as well as remove it! Alhamdulillah.