#Islam

Don’t Give Up On That “Unanswered” Prayer

Continuing to ask Allah for that seemingly unanswered dua’ over and over again may seem impossible or pointless, but it is not.

Published

January 5, 2022

Ustadha Maryam Amir

I know sometimes you think it’s unfair and you wonder why God isn’t blessing you with the dua’ you’ve been making when you’ve tried so hard and done things right for so long. An unanswered prayer is a part of every human’s life. You want to get married and despite all your efforts and your commitment to doing things right, you’re still so alone. You’re trying to have a baby, and despite months or years of trying, you have friends who didn’t even want to get pregnant but are conceiving children. You want to get that particular job or get into that particular school and yet…the doors are closed for you, again. And you wonder: what am I doing wrong? Is God mad at me? And you’ve often caught yourself wondering…what’s the point in me still making this dua’ which is not being answered, anyway?

Sometimes you think it’s unfair that God isn’t blessing you when you’ve tried so hard and done things right for so long. I myself wanted something so badly and I kept praying for it, pouring my heart into begging God to give it to me. But after making dua’ for a while, eventually I would make that dua’ while saying to myself, “God probably wants to test me. He knows how much I want this, so He probably will give me the opposite of it just because I want it so badly.”

Continuing to ask Allah for that thing over and over again may seem impossible or pointless, but it is not. With training yourself to hold a positive opinion of Allah and to recognize His wisdom even when you cannot understand it in the moment, inshaAllah, you will feel the patience to persist by shifting your understanding of a prayer which seems unanswered. Holding these two views in your heart will help you persist in praying for your unanswered prayer, for what you want and never giving up hope in the power of your dua’ and the promise that Allah will answer it.

Having a Good Opinion of Allah

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After praying with so much devotion for something and losing hope in Allah’s willingness to grant me what I wanted, one day I realized: God says:

أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي

“I am as My servant thinks I am.” [Hadith Qudsi;Al Bukahri]

Why would He give me what I want when all I’m thinking is about how much He wouldn’t give it to me? If I don’t even believe He’ll give it to me, if while I’m praying for it I’m thinking He will withhold it–then why would I be blessed with it? The Prophet Muhammad taught us that we should pray for something while we are certain that God will answer us. It might not come in the same way we want it–but, then again, maybe it will!

Maybe it’ll be better, or maybe we’ll get it in the Hereafter, or perhaps something evil will be prevented and averted from us because of our prayer. In all those scenarios there is one common factor: God will answer. And all the more so, His answer to that dua’ will always be good.

With this newly found positive conviction, I went back to begging God to grant that specific dua’ for me; but this time, I was fervently certain that He would answer me. As the months went by and as one year merged into the next, every time a doubt would enter my heart, I cast it away. I screamed at it! I would say: He has to answer. He will answer. This is Al Mujeeb–The One Who Responds! This is Al Kareem–The Generous! This is Al Wadud–The Loving!

And you know what? He answered my longed-for dua’. He did. And in a way and timing which was beyond my wildest hopes and dreams. I know what some of you are thinking–that I’m just special in getting my unanswered prayer. At times this took ten years to come to fruition for me. This is not something only I’ve experienced, it’s a story I hear from others all the time. The answer is always there; it just may not be how you expect.

Don’t give up. Ibn Ataillah made this profound statement, “When God inspires your tongue to ask, know that He wants to give.” Have that fervent certainty that Allah will answer your dua’ in the best way for your particular circumstances as you continue to ask Him.

Shifting Our Understanding of How Dua’s are Answered

When it seems like a dua’ I’ve made for so long is not answered, I have to remind myself that our prayers are always being answered, but just not always in exactly the same way we are asking for them. So know that even if you don’t feel it, He is protecting you in what He withholds from you. Know that whenever you pray, He answers. But He answers in His timing, when it’s best for you. And if it turns out that it’s not best for you in this life–then without a doubt, it’ll be waiting for you in the next.

The fact of the matter is that Allah is All-Knowing and All-Wise and The Best of Planners, not me. Thus,it may be that I am making a dua’ which is in actuality not in my best interests for my deen, dunya, or akhirah, and He is answering in the way He knows will be best for me in all three. In hindsight I have realized, and I’m sure for many of you have as well, sometimes what I’ve so desperately insisted upon has made me sick: physically, spiritually, or mentally, and I realized that God was protecting me by withholding it. Other times, what I want has come, but delayed to a better time and in a better way than I could have imagined.

As Imam al Ghazali said, “As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good; I was actually being re-directed to something better. You must convince your heart that whatever God has decreed is most appropriate and most beneficial for you.” Convince your heart that Allah is always answering your prayers and always in the best way possible for your very specific, intimate circumstances, even when we don’t see or understand how He is.

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Ustadha Maryam Amir

Maryam Amir is the creator of the free app Qariah: The Women Quran Reciters App now available on Google Play and Apple stores. Maryam received her master’s in Education from UCLA. She holds a second bachelor’s degree in Islamic Studies through Al-Azhar University. Maryam has studied in Egypt, memorized the Qur’an and has researched a variety of religious sciences, ranging from Quranic exegesis, Islamic jurisprudence, Prophetic narrations and commentary, women’s rights within Islamic law and more for the past 15 years. She’s host of the Quran Champions series on Islam Channel. She has been interviewed for her work by major news outlets including BBC, NPR and CBS. Maryam’s focus in the fields of spiritual connections, identity actualization, social justice and women’s studies have humbled her the opportunity to lecture throughout the United States and the world, including in Jerusalem, Mecca, Medina, Stockholm, London, Toronto and more. She holds a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and speaks multiple languages. Find her on Instagram or Tiktok: @themaryamamir and read about the fiqh and fatawa of women’s recitation on the FAQ at: www.Qariah.app

6 Comments

Amer Rizvi

January 5, 2022 at 5:40 PM

Salam! I enjoyed reading your article. I just wanted to add that one reason why many Muslims don’t repeat their supplications over and over again is because it just gets plain boring! This is why it’s so important to use prophetic supplications. The supplications taught us by Prophet Muhammad, May Allah bless him and grant him peace, were designed to maintain our interest. They start with the names and attributes of Allah, and are very comprehensive in nature; they give you the bang for the buck! You will never get bored if you use prophetic supplications. Many Western Islamic scholars say that you should supplicate in your own language as these supplications are more likely to come from your heart. I disagree! If you learn just a little Arabic and start supplicating in the prophetic language, you’ll really start enjoying making supplications, and you’ll never “give up on that unanswered prayer,” inshaa Allah! In fact, supplicating will become the most enjoyable thing to you in this life!

Reply
Rohani Ways

February 12, 2022 at 3:19 AM

When Allah created duas for his disciples, it was to show them that they should always work on their own goals.

They should not give up after working on them make them. He taught that Regularity makes you spiritually strong further in life-related goals. At Every start of your day, you have to connect regularly with Allah’s path. Recite Durood Sharif or Surah al-Ahzab 27 times you get what you want.

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Lan

December 14, 2022 at 4:04 AM

I think the issue of Dua unanswered is a very sensitive subject. The majority of Muslims affected by chronic ailments are unable to heal and still take medication to slow down the progression of the said ailments. Allah knows how much they have supplicated but they are put in a position to follow through with the eventual suffering. What exarcebates the issue of unanswered Dua is the assumption that Dua should be answered as there is an expectation of a covenant between Muslims and Allah swt. I personally believe after reading the Quran, the said covenant doesn’t specifically ‘promise’ Dua to come true. The closest saying amounting to a promise is when Allah swt says “call upon me I will answer you” according to Sunnah. I think this describes the attribute of Allah swt that “Allah is free of all needs”ie even the need to be bound in a covenant where there is obligation. It’s just my honest opinion of how it really works. If I have erred in my attempt to elucidate a valid point, may Allah forgive my shortcomings and lack of knowledge. As Always Allah knows best.

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Sara

April 23, 2023 at 8:04 PM

I’m feeling so hopeless right now. I’m 28 and not married I don’t even have any options. I don’t know much people and neither do my parents also dating apps are not going well. I’ve tried so many ways to put myself out there but nothing.
I feel so sad and ashamed and embarrassed all my younger cousins are getting married and having kids. I feel I’m so behind in life. I want to get married now because it’s tough when you are older your body is not the same plus due to fertility I would have to have kids in a hurry because of my biological clock. I feel like I’ve hit my peak n prime I don’t have the same beauty I once had. I have no options and the ones I do have are not even to be considered. I’ve been making the same Dua to Allah. I just feel so out of touch n see no doors opening n no hopes. Especially in this generation where hookup culture is at a all time high. I feel like I keep hitting dead ends. It’s sad seeing couples n people loved up. I question Allah what did you give to her that you didn’t give to me. Am I not worthy or deserving. Am I not loveable?It’s killed my confidence n self esteem.

Reply
Iman

December 13, 2023 at 2:13 PM

Assalamu alaikom. I read ur post and I honestly I am kinda lost. I keep thinking that Allah is the Mujeeb and he will answer my Duaa, but what if am i asking Allah for someone he won’t give me in this Dunya. Like, I keep locking myself from everyone bcz i keep telling myself “Allah will give me that person bcz He is inspiring me to ask for him.”. But, I just lose my lifetime and the person gets married or whatever and I am just here asking for this specific someone?.. I don’t have this person on social medias anymore and Idk anything about him bcz i dont talk to him, I am avoiding contact with males, ao I avoided contacting him for Allah. But I really fear this. I am 29 years old, and I am constantly asking Allah for someone and I really wanna believe Allah is gonna give me him but the people around me just tell me to forget it. I really wish i could get a reply on this post.

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Franky

March 11, 2024 at 1:31 PM

Wow Subhanallah! Alhamdulillah! I was sat in the masjid after having getting frustrated internally and showing it externally to someone close because I have been asking Allah for a job for many weeks. Waking up in the early hours to pray and constantly asking the same dua again and again.

I felt really bad and cried my eyes out to Allah in sujood and I read your article which Alhamdulillah helped my heart straight. Especially the part where you mentioned the doubts creeping in and shouting at them “Allah is Al-Mujeeb!” he will respond and it renewed my zeal and faith.

“When God inspires your tongue to ask, know that He wants to give.”

Our elders words still ring true today, may Allah grant Ibn Ataillah the highest levels of Jannah.

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