Yahya Ibrahim | The Sunnah of Love

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'Ali raḍyAllāhu 'anhu came home one day from a journey that he had been dispatched on by the Prophet Muhammed ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, to find his wife, Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet, radiya Allahu 'anha brushing her teeth with a siwak – twig of an Arak (Salvadora persica) tree used for brushing teeth.  Spontaneously, he, raḍyAllāhu 'anhu, spouted out poetic endearment:

هنئت يا عود الأراك بثغرها … أما خشيت يا أراكُ أراك

لو كان غيرك يا سواك قتلته … ما فاز منى يا سواكُ سواك

Fortunate are you O twig of the Arak tree,

Have you no fear of me observing you in this embrace

If it were other than you…O Siwak! I would have killed you!

None found this fortune of embrace before me, but you.

I get emailed & facebooked often from couples trying to salvage and mend broken trust and exponentially inhospitable relationships. I usually respond within a couple of weeks, detailing my unwillingness to “counsel” from a virtual distance that begets unilateralism. Horror stories of infidelity, violence, and arrogance abound.  Naturally, there is no greater issue facing the Muslim communities of the West that is more pressing and multidimensional than that of family relations.

The statistics are frightening, imams are untrained in effective counseling methods, mosques are under pressure, Islamically-oriented marital counselors are unheard of and professionalism in terms of confidentiality seem non-existent.

An important dimension of domestic marital problems, as I see, is that the Sunnah of Love and Gallantry seems to be overlooked or dismissed as a long-gone era. The Sunnah, that is taught at times, seems to overlook amazing instances of passion, valor, fidelity and sacrifice in the name of true love. Instances from the life of the Prophet sala Allahu 'alihi wasSalaam and his companions builds a comprehensive system of devotion – a Sunnah of Love.

Love. The real kind – the genuine love between a man and his wife that stems from a seed of love that is planted by Allāh in the hearts of those who are true in submission to the Dispenser of Love and Comfort.

A seed, literally and figuratively, in Arabic symbolizes love.

Houb in Arabic is derived from the same root for the word Haab – seed. The nature of the two words is functionally similar.

Love begins as a tiny speck – a seed that is buried deep in the folds of a receptive heart, carrying the potential of stunning beauty, nourishing sustenance, exotic delicacy, wealth of commodity, shading shelter, and resurgent growth that is stabilized through deep roots that withstand trauma.

Amr ibn al-'As raḍyAllāhu 'anhu was appointed by the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam to command an important mission. He was handpicked from many capable individuals who were in fact better than him.  Feeling a sense of pride in being selected, he raḍyAllāhu 'anhu asks the Prophet, in front of a congregation of Sahabah about who he ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, loves? The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam responds in the way that all of our wives would hope we would respond, by naming his wife, Aisha.

Consider that the Prophet would teach, ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, that if we love a friend, we need to let them know it. It was with this hope that 'Amr thought to ask that question after the favorable appointment was given to him.

Thinking that his question has been misunderstood he clarifies, saying that he meant from amongst the companions who did the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam love? The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam responds, “Her Father.”

He does not respond, “Abu Bakr raḍyAllāhu 'anhu.” His response alludes to 'Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha as she was still on his mind and in his heart. 

Love.

'Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha, al-Humayra – The Rosy Cheeked one, as the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam affectionately called her; Umm al-Mu'mineen – the Mother of the Faithful was loved and loved in return.

The Sunnah of Love is not whimsical or outrageously simplistic as you find depicted often in multibillion-dollar literary/theatrical sagas. No vampires competing with werewolves here.  It is not ambivalent and shifty. It is built on mutual acceptance of the decree of the Divine in search of comfort, repose and peace of mind.  It flourishes, paradoxically, in the mundanity of life. Finding fleeting moments of intimacy between stacks of dishes, soiled diapers, mounds of work emails, grocery lists and infinite commitments are its hallmark. A look that you receive as you rush out the door, a quick phone call itemizing how the day is going or an SMS that contains a list of groceries to buy on the way home punctuated with an I love You, are all indicators.

'Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha and the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam would use code language with each other denoting their love. She asked the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam how he would describe his love for her. The Prophet Muhammad answered, saying: “Like a strong binding knot.” The more you tug, the stronger it gets, in other words.

Every so often 'Aisha would playfully ask, “How is the knot?” The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam would answer, “As strong as the first day (you asked).”

So I begin to wonder, as should you, about what has happened to our community?

Why is it so hard to speak frankly of one's love for his wife? Why is it “soft” for a brother to praise his spouse?

How is it the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam can kiss his wife, as he exits to leave his home to lead the faithful in prayer and some in our community find it difficult to just smile?

How is it that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam can stop a whole army, in times of hostility in a region of the desert that had no water to camp near, to look for his wife's misplaced bead necklace and some find it difficult to give a deserved compliment every now and again?

Since when is sternness considered leadership and harshness associated with married life?

How is it that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam can mend his clothes and look after the domestic affairs of his household, and a brother can't put away a plate, let alone wash it unless the wife is sick?

How is it that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam can forbid upon himself milk infused with honey so as to please his wives, who complained of its scent, culminating in Allāh revealing a chapter in the Qur'an forbidding the Prophet from forbidding the lawful upon himself, “Because you seek to please your wives (66:1).”  Yet, some in our community will not even give the rightfully due to their wife?

How is it that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam teaches not to boycott a person for more than three days, and a brother can be out all day at work and feel apprehensive at the thought of returning home to a disgruntled partner who will give them the silent treatment over a petty squabble that has extended into weeks of dreary, isolating depression?

How is it that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam forbids a person to lead another man in prayer in his home without permission, yet some brothers due to constant bickering and negative criticism feel more like the help than the king of the castle?

Misreading the Sunnah, and not linking it to all matters of our life, including the mundane aspects is a justified criticism.

All of us learn through the course of our elementary studies of Islam that if you have no water, or if it is scarce, that you can perform Tayamum – ritual purification for prayer using sand or dust.

What you probably were not taught, and what was glossed over, was the fact that the permissibility and the legislation of that enormously important function were revealed because of the lost bead necklace.

You were not told that the love of the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam for 'Aisha resulted in him ordering a marching army to stop at a location without water and camp out at night with a dwindling supply of water for their consumption. Her father, Abu Bakr raḍyAllāhu 'anhu, was furious with her for mentioning what, to him, seemed to be a trivial matter.

You were not told how the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam ordered the troops to look for a necklace in the sands of the Arabian Desert, all for the comfort of 'Aisha.  You were, probably, not informed how verses in the Qur'an descended upon the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam at such an occasion resulting in the joyous celebration of the Sahabah for the ease that Allāh has provided for our Ummah as a result of this occurrence.

That is the Sunnah of Love.  You look after the near, even if it may inconvenience the far.

You would have heard that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam mended his own shoes at times. What you may not have heard was how once as he was sitting in a room with 'Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha fixing his shoes, 'Aisha happened to look to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. Mesmerized by the majesty of that sight she remained transfixed staring at him long enough for him to notice.

The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam said, “What's the matter?” She replied, “If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you.” The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam asked, “What did he say?” She replied,

“Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see.”

So the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said,

Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more.”

That is the Sunnah of Love.

From the earliest days of Islam, 'Ali radiya Allahu 'anhu was a continuous witness of the life habits of Rasool-ul-Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam. He was a witness to Love.

'Ali, raḍyAllāhu 'anhu, arrived home to find the love of his life relaxing at home. No foreshadowing asserts anything special about the occasion or day. No fancy marketing to fleece customers of hard earned money. No gimmicks or convoluted infatuations promising a happily ever after proportional to carat size. It is just a man coming home after a long day at work.  What he finds there is the greatest attainment any man could dream to possess, and hopefully retain – a wife whose presence fills him with joy.

The Prophet Muhammad, ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: “The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman.”

Virtuous, not, exclusively, in terms of the length of prostration or in devotion to religious obligations but rather as he, ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, once informed 'Umar:

“Shall I not inform you about the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who fills him with joy whenever he looks towards her.”

It is not love at first sight, rather exponential love with every glance.

Ya Allāh, put love between our spouse and us and allow us comfort and mercy in our home.

Ya Allāh, spread love and peace throughout the Ummah of Muhammed ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam

O Allāh grant us Your Divine Love

O Allāh grant us the love of those who Love You

O Allāh grant us the love of doing the things that earn Your Divine Love

Yahya Adel Ibrahim.

Domestic Violence Series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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About author

Yahya Ibrahim

In his early 30s, Yahya is happily married to Songul and is the proud father of Shireen and Omar. Born and raised in Canada and of Egyptian ancestry did not prepare Yahya for the challenges of living in Perth, Western Australia for the last 8 years. His inability to cope with 320 days of sunshine and a coastal Mediterranean climate with 1000s of km of uninterrupted beaches was difficult to adjust to. Eventually, da Leafs and hockey gave way to Aussie Rules and go Eagles go. Educating himself about Islam has been a passion for the whole of his adult life. Yahya is a registered teacher and former Deputy Principal of the largest Islamic school in Australia. His message is simple: Love Allah, the Messenger and your family.

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  • ju

    This is really nicely written Masha’Allah. May Allah grant us all righteous spouses.

  • http://www.whatdomuslimsthinkaboutjesus.com KV

    Ameen ya Rabb

    • Haleh

      I was smiling as I read this masha’Allah very touching and heart warming article. This is such a critical topic that you have chosen to address. Majority of people are truly suffering in their marriages because they lack the tools for communication, have preconceived negative notions of marriage, and they don’t apply the beautiful examples of the Prophet Mohammad (peace and salat upon him) the way you have eloquently described.

      When conducting marriage therapy, I find that the couples really make a break through when they finally embrace the concept of loving for the sake of Allah. At the moment when they can see beyond their needs, stop calculating who has done what and truly give for the pleasure of Allah they completely transform. I have seen it many times and its an amazing moment! If only more people would learn from the examples that you have provided we would have a society filled happier couples.

      JazakAllah khair,
      Haleh

  • K

    very beautifully aritculated masha’allah…<3

  • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

    Ya Allah mend our relationships and grant us all the sweet love that stems from your obedience.

    I enjoyed writing this and of course it is intended as a reminder to those of us who teach the Sunnah to relay it honestly.

    Your brother
    Yahya Ibrahim

    http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

  • fatima

    mashAllah beautiful article!

  • http://www.yasmin-raoufi.blogspot.com Yasmin

    Jazakallah Khair for this truly beautiful post! I was a little hesitant about reading it now because I was tired but once I started I couldn’t stop!

    • Liana Uegaki

      yea me too.

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  • http://www.muslimmatters.org/author/Hena Hena Zuberi

    Ameen

    JazakAllah Khayr Shaykh, this was a blessed reminder. It is sad we are not taught hadith with all the depths of context and place. I think this should be mandatory reading for young men and women in every Sunday School, madrassa, Islamic School, youth group. Will share with mine inshaAllah. The theatrical sagas just are not real and can never be lived up to- din is for real, we can do this.

    and with my husband-Like a Knot- Alhamdulillah!

    You look after the near, even if it may inconvenience the far.

    This was the best reminder for me b/c sometimes being I get so involved in community activities etc, I need to learn to say NO to yet another project, so I can concentrate on my life at home.

    May we all be Aishas to our Muhammads and vice versa. Ameen

  • Sulaiman

    Excellent excellent article!

    It is so sad that we have to look here and there for examples of what true love is, when the best of examples are right there in the Prophet’s SAW life.

  • Shuaib Mansoori

    BarakAllahu Feekum Shaykhuna for the beautiful piece!

    Ameen to all the Du’as!

  • http://bayian.blogspot.com/ Zamzam

    Wonderful article, but can mentioning examples of the life of the Prophet salla Allah alayhi wa sallam solve our problems, including marital problems?
    I think it is a main component of the solution, but we, Muslim, must translate these examples into practical plans which are prepared by our scholars, in cooperation with all those who have professional knowledge in their field of specialties.
    Keeping on mentioning examples will yield beautiful comments, but will not solve the problems

    • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

      Bismillah,

      The intent is to establish within us an understanding of the habits of the Prophet sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam and his companions with their respective partners.

      It is to encourage us to learn from it and seek to implement it in our life.

      Equally it is to establish that there are many instances of information being left out of our Fiqh and Hadith classes that could be used to as powerful examples of love and fidelity.

      I agree that a systems approach and re evaluation of Islamic Scholarship is incredibly important and timely.

      Allah grant us All success

      Yahya Ibrahim

      http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

  • http://diffrntstrokes.wordpress.com/ nasmira

    masha’Allah..what a beautiful article…

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  • Umm Sulaim

    Splendid. An article on love written by a man.

    My views on marriage includes, pleased with and sensitive to each other’s feelings, playing with (not restricted to when one desires intimacy) and making each other laugh.

    Brothers were amused; I was ‘romantic’, as if marriage were a monotonous, distasteful cohabitation of two persons one a baby machine to whom attention is paid only in the bedroom and the other no more than an income earner. At least they are aware of one woman who insists on ENJOYING a nuptial relationship.

    “Marriage is supposed to be fun. If it is anything less, it is not worth it.” I uttered those words over a decade ago and I still mean every word.

    Umm Sulaim

    • Hala

      “Marriage is supposed to be fun. If it is anything less, it is not worth it.”

      I have watched a few couples in a rehabilitation center come and go with their disabled husbands or wives day after day, month after month. They help them change, go to the bathroom, get from one room to another. These are old men and women, hardly able to help themselves, but willing to do so much for their spouses.

      Do they have fun doing it? I don’t think so.

      But they still think their marriage is worth it. Perhaps there is another ingredient to marriage that would make it worth it.

      • Umm Sulaim

        That very much depends on your idea of fun, and whether it is mutually exclusive to kindness.

        And that reminds me, I also believe making sacrifices for ones spouse depends on how the spouse treated one prior to the incident necessitating the sacrifice.

        That decision was also made over a decade ago in response to a woman returning or being made to return to an absentee husband. When I learnt some spouses go AWOL for a number of years expecting the woman to search for them indefinitely until they are ready to return home, I muted,

        “If he was loving and warm with me, I shall wait for as long as possible or until it is clear he is dead. If he was a miserable overlord, I’ll give him just 48 hours and begin divorce proceedings.”

        Umm Sulaim

      • Umm Sulaim

        One more thing, aiding ones spouse should be an ENJOYABLE act, at least it is to me.

        It in no way implies putting a brave face to an unbearable, intolerable situation. Loving ones spouse implies that what one would in other circumstances not tolerate becomes acceptable (here, I refer to your comment and not to the context of domestic abuse).

        I have fun in whatever I do, especially at home, because I ENJOY doing them. This is based on another one of my numerous principles:

        My home is a PLACE OF COMFORT; I fight battles outside not at home.

        Is that an indication of the absence of sources of stress at home? It means the constant ability to return to the stress-free state after each episode of stress (Le Chautelier’s Principle of Equilibrium).

        Umm Sulaim

        • fezz

          I dont think leaving per se would be a negative issue. Imam Ghazali went “AWOL” for a number of years but of course the sacrifice was not for a selfish cause (and how we all have benefitted!!)

      • A.ali

        Jazakallahu khayr brother for such a great reminder. Marriages in our society are becoming more the source of distress and depression rather than pleasure and comfort. May Allah swt accept all of the duas made aameen
        Jazakallahu khayr once again for such a beautiful piece.

  • Fauzia Mohamed

    Subhana Allah! Masha Allah! This brought tears to my eyes. Your article, ustadh Yahya offers us all a new, deeper glimpse into the life of our beloved Rasul salalahu alayhi wassalam.
    However what is sad, is that I for one, was never taught about this facet of his life. In fact it was almost a ‘taboo’ for us to be taught about his love and of the ways he salallahu alayhi wassalam, manifested his love towards his beloved Aisha or Khadija ra. So growing up this was devoid from our textbooks and it wasn’t until I moved to Canada that I began learning about this. Your article is a masterpiece and it offers hope for those whose lives are devoid of this pure, unselfish and unadulterated love and it also offers a wealth of knowledge for those who aspire to follow in his footsteps, salallahu alayhi wassalam. Baraka Allah feekum for taking the time to share these wonderful, insightful words. May your home and ours always be filled with nothing but the purest form of love that first extends to Ar Rahman…Ameen thumma ameen. It’s simply breathtaking! I can’t find words to express my gratitude and joy after reading this article. 

    Sent from my iPhone

    • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

      Bismillah,

      Barak Allahu feeki ya ukht Fauzia.

      I am happy that you benefited from it masha Allah.
      Insha Allah all is well in Toronto. I will update my travel plans their with you shortly insha Allah.

      Yahya

      http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

  • Nuraini

    if you are married, brother, clearly you love your wife.

    there are many kinds of marriages that make up a society. while i won’t trash those held together solely by duty and responsibility, there needs to be more awareness that that’s not the only kind (weird how this even needs to be highlighted). there are marriages characterised by joint participation in society, still others by partnership to spiritual fulfilment, and then others as a dance through life.

    • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

      Bismillah,

      Alhamdulillah I am happily married and yes I do love my wife dearly, alhamdulillah.

      I agree that there are many marital arrangments that work on some level. This should not, however, dissuade us from seeking comfort and love with our partner.

      I pray that we all receive the best in this dunya and akhira

      yahya

      http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

  • http://twitter.com/OrinRezwana Orin

    A beautiful account of love through the eyes of Islam. I feel like I know and love the Prophet ﷺ more after reading this. JazakAllah khairan, ya Shaykh.

  • ali

    would suggest if you can use bit more simple language…so that people like me who is not so well versed with English can also grasp it easily…Jazak Allah Khair

  • Farahnaz Zahidi Moazzam

    MashaAllah……I cannot thank you enough for bringing ti light these aspects of Seerah which we have a tendency to ignore…..Jazakallahu Khairan Kaseera. Actually these are the “not-so-easy” Sunnahs. May Allah swt heal our hearts of illnesses like selfishness, anger and coldness, and let us have the Hikmah to have relationships which Allah swt Likes and Looks upon with Mercy.

  • Sister

    Jazakallahu khairaan ya shaykh.Mashaallah.It`s really touching..

  • Natasha

    Mashallah so well written.

  • abu Rumay-s.a.

    What an amazing “uswatun hassana” for us, what a noble example to live up to (sallallahu alayhi wa salama tasliman katheera)… this in itself is enough for one to be convinced and submit themselves into this sublime way of life.

    jazak Allahu khairun Ustadh for this beautiful piece, it touches the hearts, I pray that Allah blesses us to live up to it..ameeen.

  • Mouzma

    SubhanAllah! amazing article! :)

  • http://mehmudahrehman.wordpress.com Mehmudah

    Wow. Just wonderful. Subhan Allah, thanks v much for this. It touches the heart and warms the soul.

  • http://muslimmatters.org/author/amad/ Amad

    Amazing
    Only if i could extract a tiny percent of the Prophet (S)’s comprehensive personality!!

    jazakallahkhair….

  • http://Www.abezsez.com Abez

    MashaAllah, a very lovely reminder :)

  • http://muslimmatters.org/author/siraaj/ Siraaj

    Salaam alaykum Shaykh Yahya,

    I often wonder if some of the exemplary characteristics we remember are of the virtuous who are relatively few and we generalize it to the majority in bygone eras? Whether it be chivalry, religious practice, or otherwise?

    I wonder this because with what little studies in history I’ve done, I tend to find the problems we have are may be unique in their cultural context, but no different than what the people surrounding us face from nonMuslims, nor different from what the Muslims faced in previous generations (and in some cases, worse).

    What are your thoughts on this?

    Siraaj

    • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

      Bismillah,

      I actually think the opposite is applicable sometimes. The sad reality is that the Islam we are taught at times omits the construct that brought it into being. The examples above are LITERALLY a drop from the ocean of the virtuous conduct that the salaf provided towards their spouse; be it man to wife or wife to her husband.

      I understand the extrapolation syndrome that some fall into, where there is an absence of the challenges that we all face in life. But what you see when you take a close look at the compendium that is the sunnah is that the BEST moments where the ones that dealt with the difficulties of life that we all deal with.

      The Prophet sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam had people accuse his wife of adultry, he had jealousy between the spouses, he was a widower and buried some of his children and grand children with his own hands. His daughter was married to a man who was an unbeliever who WAGED war against him sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam, he had a wives from a variety of cultural backgrounds and ethnicity including jewish, christian, young, mature, matrons, virgin, rich, poor, with children and without.

      When you look at all of that…you see that what we have been taught about His blessed life sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam RARELY analysis the intricacies of that life and finds parallels in our own.

      Humans have the same needs, irrespective of culture, place or time. All of us can relate to each other on a multitude of levels.

      The generalization is deserved because the life of the salaf to the most part is a reflection of the life of the Prophet.

      I do not know if that is what you were asking about .. but to me the more we look into the sunnah and seerah the more we find parallels to our life.

      This of course does not mean we can not critique the life of the companions to equally learn from those experiences.

      Wa Allahu a’laam,

      Yahya

      http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

    • http://screamfreemuslims.com Olivia

      Siraaj’s new MM profile pic is certainly exemplary.

  • Iris

    Masha’Allah beautiful article! Thank you! :-)

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W8o5OS21nE Filisteeniyyah

    MashAllah nice article! It is true for whatever reason many brothers these days feel embarrassed to say “i love my wife” in public. I mean e.g. my husband sometimes leaves sweet words on my facebook, which obviously is also seen by everyone on my list. The sisters see it, tell their husbands about it, some of their husbands are actually my husband’s friends and then they call him up and make fun of his comments! Really is silly at times.
    And I hear some terrible stories from my husband and it’s really scary how so many couples in the West have problems and it seems to be only increasing!
    May Allah guide us all into following the footsteps of the Salaf in every matter.

  • Samaria

    Very eloquent and beautiful, mA! Definitely a great reminder for all of us to remember to finding meaning in the simplicities of life and to appreciate our spouses more for all the things that they do for us. JazakAllah khairan!

  • ?

    JazakeAllahuKhair

  • Orange

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

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  • ummanar

    Beautiful article mashallah I couldn’t. Stop crying so touching. May allah fill our home and our hearts with love and mercy
    Barak allah fike for sharing this

  • Sami

    Salam Sheikh Yahya – this was an outstanding piece.

    Do you mind posting the line for Abu Bukayr Al-Hudhaili in Arabic?

    JAK,
    Sami

  • wagiah

    best article i have read in a long time.

    thank u

  • http://twitter.com/aamir2727 Aamir Shamsi

    SubhanAllah amazing piece!

    Although I would like to add that the horror stories you mentioned above (infidelity, violence etc.) are not occuring because men do not know how to/want to express their love but because, as you mentioned, they don’t feel that love but also because they are devoid of basic morality. You do not need to be a Muslim or even study the Sunnah of Love to know infidelity in a relationship is a disgraceful crime to your partner as well as to yourself.

    The world we live in is becoming worse and worse and these crimes are not only becoming more rampant but more tolerated/accepted in society further increasing their frequency.

    So not only do we need to teach them the Sunnah of Love as you have described above but also basic morals and values.

    Another important matter is choosing the correct partner for you to feel this way about them for many of these instances actually occur in completely arranged marriages where the partners do not even know one another. In Islam we are taught to choose our partners carefully and this can only be done by getting to know them in a halal manner and making sure our values are similar to theirs.

    I’d also like to add one last point – that there are people in this world who will come across as described above ie. they will show plentiful love that will make you believe it is genuine, but unfortunately it is a hoax and there is nothing more fake than their emotion for a day comes when their reality is shown and the chasms in their morality and basic human principles as well as grave lack of integrity, respect and understanding of the word Love comes to vew and that indeed is a difficult calamity to face for those in such a situation – may Allah save us all from such a day.

    inshAllah I ask you to pray for me in finding a wife that will “fill me with joy” upon glance.

  • http://aynarazaly.blogspot.com Ainul Mardhiah

    Thanks a lot Bro. Yahya. After I read your article, I feel so much love for the Prophet, MasyaAllah.. May Allah grant you the highest rank of Jannah, insyaAllah. Please pray for me may Allah give me a good husband who can follow the sunnah of love of the Prophet..peace be upon him. I shared your article in my blog. I hope it can benefit others too… Jazakallahu khair, Brother =)

  • Muslimah

    Asaalamu alaykum brother Yahya

    Mashallah beautiful article and read. i pray that all our brothers and sisters view the union of marriage in this way inshallah. out of interest brother, i was wondering where the story of the beaded necklace has been reported in the sunnah?

    jazak allahu khairun

    wa asalamu alaykum

    • http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim Yahya Ibrahim

      Bismillah,

      The hadeeth is recorded by Imam Bukhari – the incident relates to Dhatul Jaish or al-Baidah and NOT the haditha of IFK.

      yahya

      http://www.facebook.com/yahya.adel.ibrahim

  • Pingback: The Sunnah of Love « Wintersamar's Blog

  • muslimah

    marriage is so overrated these days.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMp8h7ucTWk Filisteeniyyah

      Maybe you or someone close to you suffered something terrible and have lost faith in the most beautiful bond created by Allah? Or maybe you’re having a difficult time finding the right spouse?
      Well sister, have tawakkul in Allah. Never loose hope. Marriage is the ONLY way a believer can fulfill his/her desires. Also our souls need rest because we can’t worship Allah 24/7 and it’s through marriage…through that Sunnah following spouse of ours that we can rejuvenate ourselves and get back to worshiping Allah.
      I will disagree with you and say because of the influence of the immoral culture, marriage now a days is underrated.

  • http://aworldwithstrangers.tumblr.com A. Stranger

    SubhanAllah! This is the beauty of Islam at its purest.

    MashaAllah may Allah bless you.

    We’ve been bombarded from all directions with reminders of how marriages go wrong (any news website, will provide plenty of examples) this is truly uplifting =] and MUCH needed.

    Jazakum Allah Khair.

  • Nur

    SubhanAllah, what a beautiful and heart touching article as i never read such a lovely article about love before. jazak’Allahu khair brother, may Allah blesses you and your family always. I’m single but i wish to learn a lot about be a good spouse due to Islamic rule, in shaa Allah. Beautiful..!!

  • Pingback: A Very Superficial Post on Love « The Almas Tree

  • Takbir4me

    Assalam Alaikum Hebah, Is it possible to get your email address, I like to get in touch with you for an upcomming event :)