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Audio Article: The Mistake Mothers Of Single Daughters Make

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There’s a mistake that many mothers of single daughters on the marriage market make: pressuring their daughters to change essential parts of themselves for the sake of finding a husband.  With marriage season upon us once again, this can be a very difficult time for all the single ladies out there – and also their well-meaning mothers. Tensions may be rising as you attend summer weddings, so before you get carried away with finding and fixing whatever is “wrong” with your daughter, please take a pause. Read this open letter I wrote to all the mothers out there with single daughters looking to get married, or listen to it here (podcast player below.)

The most important thing to remember is that getting your daughter married isn’t the end goal – your daughter being successful in her marriage is.

 

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Your daughter is an individual and has a mind, body, and soul of her own. She is ultimately the caretaker of her life and her hereafter--not you as her mother or her future husband. #Muslim #Parenting #Marriage #MuslimCourtship Click To Tweet
Don't ask your daughter to throw herself away to simply get married. You’re telling her she isn't 'good enough' the way she is. You are not allowing her the space to be successful once she is actually married.Click To Tweet
Stop asking your daughter to quit wearing hijab or lose ridiculous amounts of weight just to get married. Support her and build her self-confidence. Click To Tweet
Being married will not make your daughter happy; being married to the right man at the right time will. Click To Tweet
If your daughter is not getting married, it’s more likely than not that she has not met the right guy for her yet. Allah is testing your patience. Asking your daughter to change something essential to her will not help her be successful in her marriage. Click To Tweet

 

Related reading:

An Open Letter to Moms with Daughters Looking to Get Married

3 Steps To Safely Prepare For Your Halal Marriage – As Simple As ABC

Keep supporting MuslimMatters for the sake of Allah

Alhamdulillah, we're at over 850 supporters. Help us get to 900 supporters this month. All it takes is a small gift from a reader like you to keep us going, for just $2 / month.

The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small. Click here to support MuslimMatters with a monthly donation of $2 per month. Set it and collect blessings from Allah (swt) for the khayr you're supporting without thinking about it.

Meena is a writer, podcaster, high school English teacher, wife, and new mom. She loves working with Muslim youth and is interested in literature, arts, and culture. She studied Comparative Literature and Creative Writing at the University of California, Irvine and has a Master’s in Education from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She briefly dabbled in Classical Arabic studies in the US and is also studying the Asharah Qira'aat/10 Recitations. Check out her podcast and website Brown Teacher Reads: the brown literature circle you always wanted to be in. (brownteacherreads.com)

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Truth

    May 23, 2022 at 11:20 AM

    For all those wonderful ladies who think men
    should share household duties equally, privileges are awarded according to responsibility. Men are in the roles of providers, which is why a jobless man is considered a nobody but a jobless woman is a homemaker, and she can rely on her husband’s income. This is the reason the majority of suicides, heart attacks, homeless, workplace deaths are men. This is why a man is asked about his job, salary, car, house, at the time of marriage. Women cannot have it both ways. Also, at the end you ask mothers not to tell their daughters to lose weight. Why should a woman not lose weight before marriage? If a man must have a great job, nice car, his own house, good personality, must be tall, handsome, charming, etc. then the least a woman can do is lose some weight.

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