Sticky Situations: Helping Muslim Kids Navigate LGBTQ

“Someone at school has two dads and it’s got a Muslim kid all muddled about what marriage is. Get the lowdown on Allah’s gift to humans and what our primary identity really is.”

“Yikes, a classmate thinks he’s been born in the wrong body. Could it be possible that Allah made a mistake? Don’t our feelings matter? Aunty Hiba explains how to separate feelings from facts and always remember Allah’s Perfection.”

“A boy at karate is dressing up like a girl. How is a brave and kind Muslim kid supposed to think about this sticky situation? Our wise teachers explain why cross-dressing violates a key Quranic principle.”

When I shared drafts of descriptions for my upcoming videos with a Seattle-based friend, her first reaction was one of anxiety, “It is impossible for us to say these things out loud.” and “Are you sure you want to get into this issue? It’s not going to be pretty.” But she followed it up with a truth that is universal, reassuring, and real: “Allah uses different people for different things and if you think this is the work He wants from you right now, then make dua for khair, say bismillah and jump.”

As I wrestled with the content I wanted to create and the vision I have for the work I do, I weighed her remarks with the internal ticker tape that’s been running over the last few months:

“This is THE challenge of our times, it’s what Muslim kids need. It is very possible this issue is going to divide the ummah but choose whose side you want to be on. This is not only your responsibility as a parent, as a believer, but it is also literally your job as a Muslim educator to teach the truth of Quran and Sunnah.”

Around the time, I was putting the finishing touches on the Parent Guide, the Navigating Differences statement from scholars released. Perfect timing, because it reminded me that if we’ve got to be picking sides, I’d really like to be hanging out on the same side as Omar Suleiman, Yasir Qadhi, Haifaa Younis, Muhammad elShinawy, and Yaser Birjas, may Allah preserve them all. 

As our beloved scholars faced predictable criticism, I realized that maybe, not being in North America currently, was a huge blessing in my life because it allowed me to be more comfortable in speaking the truth to Muslim kids that others couldn’t afford to out of fear of reprisal and repercussions on their jobs and security. Muslim kids deserved the truth, I told myself, and dove full throttle into producing the series. 

The Sticky Situations series is live now, free for the world, appropriate for all ages, and a mix of both informational and fun – my favorite combo for teaching kids.

Sticky Situations provides Muslim parents and educators with comprehensive content and support as they navigate discussions on LGBTQ issues with their kids. The Series contains a parent/educator guidebook, 6 videos, and a 40-page workbook to form an integrated, multi-resource solution for Muslim families.

Because, I understand these conversations can be complex, sensitive, and challenging, here are 6 tips on making it a little easier:

 – Keep the right mindset

Certain topics need to be approached from a position of mental strength. It is more than okay to express total clarity when it comes to what is written in the Quran. As parents, if we come across as uncertain, wishy-washy, or nervously tentative on this issue, the kids will sniff that out immediately. We know that with love and reliance on Allah , we can create an environment that promotes unwavering adherence to our faith while retaining Prophetic compassion and empathy.

 – Don’t drown out your own voice

There has been such a language shift in recent years that too many of us are regurgitating the same talking points as the liberal left. You know yourself. You know you are not a hater or a bigot or being judgmental. Don’t silence yourself in the misguided idea that kindness is only kindness when it is defined by certain people. 

 – Personalize to your family

For each family, it is essential to consider their kids’ age, maturity, and exposure to these issues when discussing the material contained in the series. A tailored approach will help ensure that the information shared aligns with their kids’ comprehension. Use the stories and talking points as a springboard for the kind of conversations you want to have with the kids.

 – Integrate into curriculum

Pitch Sticky Situations to your Islamic school or your masjid. This way the teaching of this issue doesn’t rest entirely on your anxious shoulders. If you’ve got your community of teachers and scholars on your side, your kids are hearing the same talking points from multiple people which is all the better for cementing the key ideas.

 – Explore with friends

Everything becomes easier when you feel like you’re not alone. When Muslim kids see that they have a group of family friends who are learning the same thing, thinking the same way, and believing the same ideas about a really controversial topic, they are more likely to feel reassured and convinced. Host a Sticky Situations viewing party and rack up the good deeds!

 – Hold tight to dua’

As with all conversations you have with your kids, begin with dua’! My personal favorite list before broaching tricky conversations are the following beautiful words: 

• Bismillahir rahmanir raheem
• Rabbish rahli sadri, wasyassirli amri, wahlul uqdatum millisaani yafqahu qauli
• Allahumma la sahla illa ma jaltahu sahla
• Allahumma khirli wakhtirli 

On behalf of all Muslim families struggling to stay upright in a tricky world, I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to you for your dedication as a Muslim parent. Your commitment to raising righteous and compassionate children is an invaluable contribution to the ummah and the world at large.

May Allah bless your efforts abundantly and shower your families with His mercy and guidance. May He grant you the wisdom, patience, and love needed to navigate these discussions with your dear Muslim kids.

Related:

– Over 130 Muslim Religious Leaders Release Statement Clarifying LGBTQ Position In Islam – MuslimMatters.org

– The MM Recap: Islam And The LGBTQ+ Movement – MuslimMatters.org