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What Do I Do When I Find Out My Favorite Preacher Is Corrupt?

Imam Omar Suleiman

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The scenario is becoming more prevalent: the person you trusted with your spirituality, inspiration, and maybe even secrets, turns out to be tragically corrupt. The man who gives lectures about how to treat women is a vicious womanizer. The televangelist who inspires millions to be better people can’t find the inspiration in his own personal life to not exploit vulnerable fans or oppress his family.

This is one of the most difficult tests to one’s faith: how could someone who embodied the faith to me be so corrupt despite all of his knowledge? Is something wrong with the religion?

The Power of Power

No. Something is wrong with people, especially when they have power. And power isn’t always manifest in the form of legal control or authority. The power of influence that can suffocate the stories of your victims is far more dangerous. The power of a platform that glorifies you being so much larger than those that expose you. The power of money that ties people to you, that will stay with you despite your corruption and the mistreatment of your own family, only because they want to feed theirs. The power of having shaykh friends that will legitimize you for their own gain not realizing, or not caring, that they’re enabling your corruption. The power of having organizations still invite you to their programs to fill seats despite knowing about you, but not really caring about you or the people you will help bring to them. The power of knowing that otherwise reasonable people will probably support you any way and forget that the victim could’ve been their own sister or daughter.

The problem isn’t religion; the problem is the perception of power that has so frequently poisoned men who wear the garb of any religion. Every oppressor is intoxicated by the illusion of power. But your Lord isn’t unaware, and is the only true possessor of Power. For their sake and ours, everything eventually comes crashing down before they can further harm themselves or others.

To Victims of Predators

If you’re a victim of one of these people, don’t be afraid to seek help. Don’t be shamed into silence. Predators thrive when they can pick on you in private and think that you’d never tell anyone. Your job isn’t to maintain the dignity of the one who disgraced you, or to put your hurt to the side to protect others from having their feelings hurt when they find out. You do have a responsibility to protect other people that could potentially be victimized.

To the girls that get approached by their favorite speaker at a conference who quickly starts looking for a secret marriage, please don’t be led down that route. Marriage is meant to be a public celebration that protects your rights. A private nikah that likely doesn’t even meet the conditions for a valid one won’t protect you at all. You don’t know a person from a stage or a youtube video.

To Beneficiaries of Corrupt Leaders

If you’re a beneficiary of one of these people financially or in some other fashion, don’t forget that sustenance comes from Allah and not from these people. Ibn Taymiyya said, “Whoever enables an oppressor will one day be tested by him.” The nature of that test is only known to Allah, but you’re actually protecting your family by not enabling an oppression that could one day harm them. Sometimes it’s not even enabling the oppressor himself but normalizing the behavior that one day bites you or your family.

To the religious institutions that provide cover, you have a responsibility to your members to not put them in harm’s way. The first responsibility of a shepherd is to protect his flock from wolves. If we haven’t learned our lesson from other religious institutions that cover up, know that the person and institution will suffer if things are not rectified properly. If we’re going to restore confidence in religious institutions, it’s going to take slowly regaining the trust of the people by showing zero tolerance for exploitation.

To the scholars and teachers that cover for their colleagues, fear Allah for you are betraying not only the people but the tradition. Do not leave the tradition hostage to people to exploit for nefarious aims. You too will be held accountable for legitimizing an oppressor and putting people in harm’s way. If people see your association as a refutation of claims, you are the strongest cover a criminal has.

Don’t be Bystanders

To the scholars and teachers that are repulsed by this behavior — do the right thing. You too need to be mindful of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) for none of us are safe from the plotting of Shaytan and the evil of our desires. The first thing we should do when we see someone fall from glory is to seek refuge in Allah from encountering a similar fate. Every person in religious authority needs to be vigilant with themselves. Protect yourself with a strong spiritual regimen, mentorship that can hold you accountable, and do not put yourself in a situation where you could be lead astray. Always give priority to your family and be extra cautious in your interactions.

To the family and friends of these people that don’t want to feel like they’re letting down someone that they love, do not fall victim to the misguided loyalty of the days of ignorance. The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said support your brother when he’s an oppressor by stopping him from oppressing. If you really loved him, you’d stop him from ruining his hereafter even further for the justice of this world is far lighter than the justice served in the hereafter. If you really loved him, you’d want him to correct himself and get help so that he may come back to Allah and start making amends. Stopping the oppressor is for his own good.

Allah Knows and Allah’s Deen is Pure

Finally, to the onlookers who are damaged when scandals about their favorite teachers start to be known. You are not alone. Some of you may have become Muslim because of this person. Some of you may have spent days, weeks, or even years, on their lectures. Through the internet, they’ve become a part of your family. But here is the thing, what made you love them was that they brought you closer to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He). You weren’t listening to them sing songs or make movies, you were listening to them teach you about Divine revelation. Let the object of your love remain the religion, and the people simply be the vessels. That way if one vessel breaks, the contents need to be transferred. The religion remains perfect and sound, even when those representing it fail to live up to it. Pray that Allah rectifies those who taught you the religion, support their victims, and let this be a lesson that no one after the Prophets 'alayhi'l-salām (peace be upon him) is infallible. Let your hope and expectations only be in Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He).

And by the way, good teachers still remain. As heartbroken as I have been by so many scandals, I still reflect on the beautiful teachers and colleagues I have known that are models of transparency and loyalty. They still exist, but the ugly ones seem to obscure the beauty.

Don’t let the failure of a few cause you to stop seeing the beauty in many.

May Allah protect our hearts, families, and communities. Ameen

Imam Omar Suleiman is the Founder & President Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research 
www.yaqeeninstitute.org

Imam Omar Suleiman is the Founder and President of the Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research, and an Adjunct Professor of Islamic Studies in the Graduate Liberal Studies Program at SMU (Southern Methodist University). He is also the Resident Scholar at Valley Ranch Islamic Center and Co-Chair of Faith Forward Dallas at Thanks-Giving Square. He holds a Bachelors in Accounting, a Bachelors in Islamic Law, a Masters in Islamic Finance, a Masters in Political History, and is currently pursuing a Phd. in Islamic Thought and Civilization from the International Islamic University of Malaysia.

63 Comments

63 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Omar

    June 3, 2017 at 9:08 PM

    Possibly the most truthful and brave article ever written on a topic that is often brushed under the carpet or turned a cold shoulder.

    I like how you tried to end with positive note Shaykh Omar Suleiman – wouldn’t expect anything less from you knowing your prophetic spiritual optimism… and I pray to Allah that this isn’t my bitterness against lousy corrupt Muslim du’ats/scholars speaking, but rather it’s the genuine scars and tears of concern having loved ones being put through great harm by the superstars of Da’wah… I can almost guarantee you Shaykh the so called “beautiful teachers and colleagues” that you speak about in your article and call them “models of transparency and loyalty” have many skeletons in their closets that just haven’t come out yet and this is why you see them as “beautiful”. You may be in awe of the beauty with which Allah has hidden their crimes against mankind but this does not change the fact that they are evil self-righteous shayateen inside.

    You see Shaykh, you’re part of the da’wah world so how another scholar interacts with you is different to how they interact with us. The way a speaker may treat you is different to how they treat us. If you/or your family (God forbid) were wronged by one of them (may Allah protect you) it can become a public issue and damage their self-righteous image within the Da’wah world so they would be very cautious of ever doing that to you. But when it comes to the average Muslim or Muslimah its easy for these shayateen to wrong them knowing the person can do no harm to them because of their position & name in society and so they can carry on protecting their self-righteous public image. They put on this false robe of piety hiding behind titles of “Shaykh” and “Dr.” and treat you so well because you’re a colleague, but as you and I know from your epic #40onJustice series the true character of a person is not defined by how they treat their peers it’s about how they treat the most weak and vulnerable.

    If one of us common people is wronged who do we go to Shaykh? Who will even believe us against someone who is known for his religiosity and piety? And even if we do (and I speak by experience here) as you rightly state the equally corrupt leaders of our dawah institutes provide cover for their “Superstar da’ee” so that their image and the name of the organisations is protected. I went to one such leader of an organisation to get help with my case and the response I got from them, and I quote verbatim from his email response “Regardless if you like it or not there are over a million folks he has touched one way or the other, we don’t want to ruin it.” These so called pioneers of the da’wah world that go Hajj and Umrah every year don’t even have the backbone nor the eman to stand by the oppressed and instead cover the crimes of their speakers and just ignore your requests until you just give up asking them and are left with no one but Allah and nothing but the power of du’a.

    My message of optimism for all those that have been harmed by these wolves in sheep’s clothing know that he who has no one has Allah and the one who has Allah by his/her side then know that the one who has harmed you is Allah’s criminal and Allah deals with criminals severely. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was informed about a woman who prayed during the night, fasted during the day and gave in charity but was abusive to her neighbors. The Prophet (peace be upon him) not only announced her place in hell but also said “There is NO GOOD INSIDE OF HER she’s in the fire of Hell.”

    Even if these so called “scholars” graduated from inside that Ka’bah walahi it would not benefit them if they wronged another person. Even if they raised a million dollars in charity for Syria and Palestine on their Facebook pages inshaAllah it would all be nullified and even if they stood the night in prayer like the woman who the Prophet (peace be upon him) was informed about it would still not save them from the judgement of Allah and paying for every crime against an innocent creation of Allah.

    I and many of my loved ones have been harmed by these wolves in sheep’s clothing and my greatest du’a in the coming last ten nights of Ramadan for every such so called Muslim scholar and their supporters is that despite their fasting, prayers, lectures and charity the Messenger (peace be upon him) himself rejects these scums on the Day of Judgement and says the same words he said about that woman “There is no good inside any of them…”, Allahumma ameen.

    The Prophet (peace be upon him) would also often make a du’a which I have found much comfort in, knowing that Allah is the one who will avenge the ones who have been wronged “O Allah… support me against the one who has wronged me and avenge me.” – classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab al-Mufrad.

    With tears in my eyes and a heavy-heart I would like to sincerely thank you for writing such an honest article on such a oft-neglected topic Shaykh Omar and I sincerely pray that you never become one of these self-righteous scholars that takes advantage of the weak and that Allah exposes these criminals in front of you and you disassociate yourself from them and their institutes very soon, Allahumma ameen.

    • Avatar

      bmh

      June 4, 2017 at 3:49 AM

      that comment above though..

    • Avatar

      Anda

      June 4, 2017 at 6:14 AM

      There is so much hurt, damage and bitterness in your words, you must have experienced something really bad… For the sake of your own spiritual sanity I would advise you to entrust Allah with this matter of yours. Have you heard of this dua
      حسبي اللہ ونعم الوکيل (Hasbiya Allah wa nee’ma al Wakeel – Allah is Sufficient for me, and He is the Best Trustee).
      Let these words be close to your heart instead of uttering revengeful, bitter words in your dua, maybe you’ll find your peace of mind and heart again inshaAllah…

      • Avatar

        Omar

        June 4, 2017 at 8:10 AM

        Anda – Shukran for your concern and supportive words. Alhumdulilah, my mind and heart are already at peace.

        I don’t know why people always assume that if you’re making du’a against your wrongdoer that somehow that automatically makes one bitter and somehow that’s spiritually damaging. Du’a has been the greatest revival of my faith in Allah, alhumdulilah.

        My eman is at the greatest peak it has ever been alhumdulilah because I have risen strong from the greatest test of my faith, alhumdulilah… as the tag line of the article itself states “The *most difficult test* of one’s faith: the moral corruption of a spiritual teacher”. It has been an immensely great test and challenge and I know Allah put me through this challenge because I had the capacity to rise strong from this challenge and become stronger than ever. The spiritual strength and freedom that I feel now I doubt majority of believers would ever even get to experience spirituality at such heights, alhumdulilah.

        Du’a is the greatest act of worship and Allah is sufficient for the believers – yes I know this du’a and make it frequently shukran for the reminder :) …and what could be more of a greater expression of one’s trust in Allah than when they are wronged and are in distress they turn to Allah in du’a and know that Allah has their back and will reward them without account for their patience and avenge the harm done to them.

        Contrary to popular belief and unIslamic teachings from majority of du’ats and scholars that making du’a against your wrongdoer just means your bitter and spiritually damaged I can tell you for sure that du’a has been my greatest strength in this trial and if I didn’t have du’a I probably would not have faith. Du’a is a sign of strength not weakness. Du’a is a sign of optimism not bitterness and resentfulness. Du’a against someone who is evil brings peace to the heart because you know Allah is with you and He hears you and promises to answer you.

        I seriously despise those scholars who teach people to just forgive, let go, move on and don’t make du’a against their wrongdoer. Nothing can be more damaging spiritually than to cover your wounds with a flimsy plaster and just ignore it and move on. Sure, forgiveness is the way of the believer and it is only the diseased heart that constantly holds grudges against each and every person no matter how small the harm, but there are some crimes that are beyond human decency and especially when the person has been given multiple chances for forgiveness but are too self-righteous to even acknowledge their sins, for such people du’a is your greatest weapon against them.

        Du’a is a cure and a healing process, whereby you call out to the One in the Heavens and leave all your affairs to Him and then move on with optimism knowing Allah has your back. It can only become damaging when you don’t have full yaqeen in Allah that He will bring your wrongdoers to justice and you consume yourself with your bitterness and don’t see the beauty in life and positiveness of rising strong …and I have full yaqeen without a shadow of a doubt that every du’a that I make against these evil scholars will come true and they will have the most humiliating ending in this world and the next, Allahumma ameen.

        When the great companion Sa’id b. Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) one of the 10 promised paradise was slandered by a woman he raised his hands to Allah and made du’a against her. ‘O Allah, if she is lying take away her sight and make her grave in her own house’” The narrator of this incident said “I saw her (later on) when she was blind groping her way along the walls and would cry out, ‘I have been afflicted by the supplication of Sa’id.’ Then one day when she was walking in her land she fell into a well which became her grave.”

        There’s a reason why the Prophet (peace be upon him) warned us to “fear the du’a of the one who is wronged” and “the Du’a of the one who is wronged is never rejected” and Allah Himself promises to “answer the call of the one who is wronged even if it be after a while”. Allah and His Messenger wants us to make du’a against our wrongdoers who go beyond human decency in harming you and it is a necessary healing process.

        • Avatar

          Mohsin

          September 22, 2017 at 3:35 PM

          Has this case been proven beyond doubt? The card of ‘character assassination’ has been played with many before

    • Avatar

      Mohammed

      June 4, 2017 at 1:31 PM

      Assalamu Alaikum sister. Thanks for coming out openly about your bad experience with the “superstar shaykhs/ustads”. May Allah swt reward you and heal you.

      The exploitation of women by the “superstar entertaining shaykhs/ustads” are getting known by more people and is very much credible. I have known one such case, and it was shocking to me.

      I request all sisters who have been exploited by these “superstar entertaining shaykhs/ustads” to come out courageously and share your bad experience with shaykh Omar. This will help the Muslim community deal with these wolves in sheep’s cloths.

  2. Avatar

    Sue

    June 4, 2017 at 4:31 AM

    This article doesn’t advise on what to do if you know or are harmed by one of those so-called sheikhs. All I got from this read is that ‘They are bad people but if you say something, people will protect them’. We victims all know that.. But what do we do now? How do we deal with it? How do we make sure it doesn’t happen anymore? Not as useful of an article as I thought..

    • Avatar

      Amatullah

      June 6, 2017 at 12:23 AM

      ” Not as useful of an article as I thought..”
      The article is about what the author wanted it to be, not what you want to read.

  3. Avatar

    Zawja Salman

    June 4, 2017 at 5:19 AM

    JazakIllah kher for bringing the topic up.
    It may be the first drop of rain n bring good in future & it may turn iut to be just another article. But im sure a lot of people will appreciate the insight.

  4. Avatar

    Zeba

    June 4, 2017 at 6:03 AM

    I personally think even Imaams or Shaykhs are humans, shaitaan is behind all of us, we as common public should not be so available to be victimize. As soon as you feel danger we should take a back step. And one should always remember that the ultimate solution is Allah no one else, if you give chance shaitaan will utilise it.

  5. Avatar

    Muhammed

    June 4, 2017 at 7:24 AM

    So…..Who are these people and what institutions support them? I’d like to know who I should keep my daughter from..

  6. Avatar

    muslimah

    June 4, 2017 at 1:43 PM

    Salaam. Thank you so much for this! As a victim that spoke out, i would be very much interested to understand, from an islamic point of view, how this would be dealt with. If we dont name the person how can we prevent this from happening in the future to other sisters? or alerting sisters that are already suffering in this situation?

  7. Avatar

    Abu Asiyah

    June 4, 2017 at 1:44 PM

    I think books like “Without Conscience”, “Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing”, “A Sociopath Next Door”, etc should be required reading for everyone – not just Muslims.

    Knowing what to watch out for can really open your eyes. Oftentimes you can tell these people even by the way they talk on the stage. If not, you can usually detect it in their conversation off the stage.

    Knowing to distinguish such people from the rest also helps in distinguishing the true oppressors from those who simply made a mistake. The oppressors pretend to be sorry – but their apologies and tears are simply a cover.

    Having gone through an experience with a teacher like this, I can also vouch for the fact that there are scholars and leaders out there who are truly doing their best to follow in the footsteps of our beloved Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace). They never take advantage of you, never betray your secrets, and have sincere concern for you instead of looking for personal gain.

    JazakumAllahu khayran brother Omar Suleiman for raising an important topic. We need more awareness about this.

  8. Avatar

    Yaseen

    June 4, 2017 at 1:59 PM

    Can we not share who these shuyouk are? I wouldn’t want my wife, sister, or daughter to be another victim to these people. Didn’t you mention that we should not be silent and be bystanders? Help us protect our loved ones. Enough is enough, these are the lives of real people that are being destroyed.

  9. Avatar

    Mohammed

    June 4, 2017 at 2:11 PM

    Assalamu Alaikum and Ramadan Mubarak Shaykh Omar. May Allah swt reward you immensely for this courageous and brilliantly written article. May Allah swt protect you and your family and raise you in your spiritual rank.

    I have known one such case, and it was shocking to me. I advised to share the experience with you.

    These superstar entertaining ustads may have done much good particularly to our youth. But the injustice they have committed against some of the sisters is absolutely unacceptable and must be brought to community’s knowledge.

    I am worried about the impact to our youth: shattered expectations and demoralization due to the hypocrisy may even cause them to reject the whole notion of moral guidance from religion. Of course, you have addressed this in your article. But, knowledge or awareness is often not a strong enough antidote to a broken heart.

    “The power of influence, the power of a platform that glorifies you, the power of money , the power of having shaykh friends that will legitimize you, the power of having organizations still invite you , the power of knowing that otherwise reasonable people will probably support you in anyway,….” and the resulting emotional imbalance probably have contributed to the Ustad’s adventurous secret escapades.

    These wolves marry for a day or two or for a week in “secret” and then move onto another pasture! What devastation that must have left on the victims.

    I request all sisters who have been exploited by these “superstar entertaining shaykhs/ustads” to come out courageously and share your bad experience with shaykh Omar so that further action can be taken. This will help the Muslim community deal with these wolves in sheep’s cloths. Let the truth about clarity come out.

    To the superstar entertaining ustads: the minimum you can do is to ask forgiveness from these sisters for the damage you have done to them and compensate them financially because they struggling to survive. They trusted you because of your religious reputation, and you misused that trust.

    May Allah swt protect all of us from shaytan and from our own nafs.

    Warm regards,

  10. Avatar

    Imaan

    June 4, 2017 at 3:45 PM

    Thank you so much Shaikh Omer for such an enlightening and truly ground breaking topic. It is insane that such an article is necessary and situations mentioned even prevalent–It’s sickening…and also scary. To think there are victims out there who are silenced and well known figures continue to operate through their lives without knowing what someone they have affected is going through behind restrained oaths…It is mind boggling. Real people going through very real victimization that has for too long been swept under the rug. Scary.

    May God always bring true justice because he is the all just, the always just.

  11. Avatar

    Abdullah

    June 4, 2017 at 4:00 PM

    Reading these comments is leaving me shocked. This seems to be a huge problem? I thought it was a few cases here and there. Maybe i would have heard more if i lived in america. (Im from Europe).

  12. Avatar

    Esha

    June 4, 2017 at 5:31 PM

    This is really really shocking for me, I can’t even believe it. Thanks for making us aware of it.

  13. Avatar

    Umm?

    June 4, 2017 at 5:34 PM

    These are probably all Al maghrib, Al qalam, bayyinah, and zaytunah shaykhs and their affiliates…Probably why nobody ever says who it is. I don’t get it…If these individuals pose such a threat, why don’t we out them? The world is full of spiritual guidance. So if we lose someone […], there’s someone else to replace him. Not accusing […] nor anyone from the above mentioned institutes. Just weird that this is like the second article from this site about this issue and still people are keeping whatever is going on under wraps.

    *This comment was edited by the MM Comments Team in order to comply with our Comments Policy*

  14. Avatar

    Nora

    June 4, 2017 at 11:15 PM

    Isn’t the imam guilty of covering up if he’s not sharing names? This isn’t brave. This is putting a band-aid on a gushing wound. Unless you’d want this to happen to your sister, daughter, cousin, friend, neighbor why aren’t names being shared?

  15. Avatar

    Ismaeel Abdul Fattah

    June 5, 2017 at 2:30 AM

    Wanting to know the negative experiences of sisters seems like some form of voyeurism, especially when the one asking isn’t a licensed counselor/therapist in a therapy session and especially over this particular medium. Additionally, what’s the point of an anonymous person mentioning a story that cannot be validated other than to rile up the deep-rooted, negative sentiments we have against the clergy? And when is naming names a good idea, especially when the accuser cannot be verified? Hijacking emotions in order to strike at the reputation of a potentially innocent man and create bad blood is pretty low act…..and an act that seems to be all too common these days.

  16. Avatar

    Ameen Yoosufzai

    June 5, 2017 at 5:43 AM

    People who want to know the names and want to do the shaming should instead get their thrill from tabloids. This is not entertainment people. What got us here in the first place is the whole islamotainment industry…

    • Avatar

      justice

      June 5, 2017 at 12:03 PM

      Salaam. To the people here that that are saying we should not name the person, as they believe the stories cannot be validated- IT CAN with proof. Also just to be clear, we are not seeking any kind of thrill from falsly accusing someone innocent. We are are Muslims! Do you even try to understand how hard it is for sisters to come out and speak about such a situation? At the very least be neutral until the proof is shown. I also encourage other sisters to be courageous and come forward and share their stories…Allah is with you.

    • Avatar

      Mian Reagan

      June 6, 2017 at 12:59 AM

      Correction ::: BALTIMORE CITY MOSQUE IMAM. HE IS AFRICAN AMERICAN. NOT MASJID AR- RAHMAH. HE IS POPULAR FOR PERFORMING BIGAMY BASE NIKKAH IN BALTIMORE FOR MARRIED MEN.
      I HAVE MY SOLID SOURCES, CAN BE CONTACTED SHOULD ANYONE CHALLENGE !

  17. Avatar

    umm Fatima

    June 5, 2017 at 12:13 PM

    The problems arise when there is the concept of “favorite preacher”.
    The means of gaining Islamic knowledge nowadays are twisted.
    For those who want to protect their loved ones and themselvesfrom falling prey to such things….please be aware if there appears to be idolization/fanlike behavior towards anyone including preachers , fellow msa-ians, etc

  18. Avatar

    omie

    June 5, 2017 at 4:33 PM

    Some resources for the victims of Abuse are:
    http://www.snapnetwork.org/

    HEART Women & Girls, a Chicago-based organization founded by Nadiah Mohajir and dedicated to promoting sexual and reproductive health in faith-based communities.
    http://heartwomenandgirls.org/

  19. Umm Zakiyyah

    Umm Zakiyyah

    June 5, 2017 at 6:00 PM

    Thank you for writing on this very important topic. More imams and scholars need to clarify what the role of an Islamic teacher is and make clear where the boundaries are, as many are teaching and behaving in a way that transgresses the rights of others and their role as religious teacher.

    The only question and concern I have is regarding this part: “To the girls that get approached by their favorite speaker at a conference who quickly starts looking for a secret marriage, please don’t be led down that route. Marriage is meant to be a public celebration that protects your rights. A private nikah that likely doesn’t even meet the conditions for a valid one won’t protect you at all. You don’t know a person from a stage or a youtube video.”

    Given the statement “likely doesn’t meet the conditions,” it is unclear what is actually being discussed here. Either a marriage meets the conditions, or it doesn’t.

    Therefore, here is my question:
    In this context, how is a “secret marriage” being defined? Of course, if what is meant by “secret” is zina (fornication or adultery) with the label of “marriage,” then this needs to be both clarified and spoken against in the strongest of terms. If what is meant by “secret” is a private marriage ceremony that is not publicly announced to the entire Muslim community, then we need to be very careful, lest we fall into sin by slandering believers who are doing nothing displeasing to Allah. It is not our right to dictate how someone else’s marriage should look, as long as they adhere to Islamic conditions of marriage. It is the job of the woman’s wali or wakeel to ensure that her rights are protected, and if he has approved the marriage, we have no right to call the marriage “corrupt” or to even tell a woman to turn down the proposal.

    In Islam there are conditions for a nikaah, and if those conditions are met (with the wali and two witnesses), then the marriage is neither secret nor invalid, even if everyone in the community isn’t informed or invited to the nikaah or waleemah.

    Unfortunately, this term “secret marriage” is often used by Muslims in the West to describe polygyny, mainly because some polygynous families opt to tell only family and close friends due to the widespread anti-polygamy sentiments and verbal abuse they withstand from both fellow Muslims and many imams/scholars who wish to change the rules of Islam to subtract plural marriage from what is halaal. Thus, terms like “secret marriage” are used to imply that something “unholy” is happening, even when nothing haraam is going on.

    Nevertheless, I do agree that caution should be exercised when the person proposing marriage is a major speaker and shows signs that he is not interested in making the marriage public, whether in monogamy or polygyny.

    In any case, I think it’s crucial that we define terms in these posts because of the potential for misunderstanding, slander, and violating the rights of believers to live out the marriage they have chosen for themselves (without being harassed by others’ opinions or input, especially on a public scale).

    • Avatar

      Shondha Bati

      June 5, 2017 at 7:01 PM

      Dearest sister, I am a big fan of your writing, and I read you books with polygamous themes with interest. Can I point out though, while polygyny is allowed in our deen, its usually off the table for most families as the practice has not been around for a while. In my family, where we had Islam for at least 6 generations (as far back as I can trace), I find only 1 case of polygamy with 2 wives. When that’s the case “generally”, then polygamy needs to come into discussion and considered a ‘possibility’ by the entire family before finding a wife and suddenly realising that’s a god given right. Otherwise, the feelings of hurt and betrayal can be justified. I think the spiritual teachers need to publicly announce that they and their wives are open to having the practice in their own families before prying on unsuspecting women or at least propose the girlss through a more transparent process, for example involving trusted families.

      • Umm Zakiyyah

        Umm Zakiyyah

        June 5, 2017 at 8:49 PM

        Shonda,

        Thank you for your honest reflections. While your points are valid, they are irrelevant to my point here. Also, even though your points are well-meaning and logical, they are not binding on the Muslim community as a whole, as we have the Book of Allah and prophetic Sunnah for that purpose.

        Like you, I have personal opinions about the best way for polygyny to be practiced in a household. However, I don’t share those publicly under the category of what anyone “should” do, because it is not my right to add to Allah’s religion. I have my own household, and that’s the only household I have any right to share what I believe should happen.

        Also, what I’ve witnessed for more than ten years is the public and private abuse and slander of polygynous families, often under the umbrella of the intentionally derogatory term “secret marriage.” Yet ironically, I haven’t heard one prominent imam, scholar, or speaker address this widespread abuse. Rather, they generally participate in the anti-polygamy dishonesty and harassment of polygynous families. Some go as far as to state or imply that polygyny is not allowed in Islam today.

        I don’t think this is what Imam Omar Suleiman is doing here, but I say this to say we need to separate our emotions and opinions from Islamic rules and even from what we label as “wrong” or “corrupt.”

        I can be justified to feel hurt and betrayed in my own household or marriage. But I have no right to feel or express hurt or betrayal based on someone else’s halaal choices.

        I don’t know anyone in monogamy or polygyny who would appreciate having their marriage labeled “secret” or “corrupt” when they fulfilled Allah’s requirements.

        So while you are certainly justified in having your own personal requirements for marriage, and even feeling hurt and betrayed based on what happens in it, you (nor I or anyone else) has the right to add to what “should” or “should not” happen in any marriage, polygyny or otherwise.

        If we do, we’re answerable to Allah on the Day of Judgment. This is my point, and why I say it is critical to define what is meant by “secret marriage.” If zina under the guise of marriage is not what is being described here, then we’re treading a very dangerous road in what we will be called to account for after we die.

    • Avatar

      Abdullah

      June 6, 2017 at 3:21 AM

      Whenever Rasulullah(SAW) would marry a new wife he wouldnt ask permission from his other wives but he would never make that marriage hidden. He would let the society know of his marriage which is the exact wisdom of walimah. Walimah is a way to let people know this girl they will from now on see you with is your new wife. Never did he try to keep his marriages hidden.

  20. Avatar

    Mohammed

    June 5, 2017 at 6:38 PM

    It was a year or two ago where I live (outside of the USA) when rumour started flying around of a relatively globally well known Sheikh of having taken advantage of one, perhaps more, of his ‘fans’ through inappropriate touching, proposals and God knows what else in the privacy of a room meant to be used for one on one advice.

    It was baffling to see amongst the general community the topic completely brushed under the carpet. They defended their actions by suggesting
    1. that to carry on conversation would amount to back biting,
    2. that there are two sides to every story so we cannot speculate, and
    3. that he is a respected Sheikh (which he undoubtedly is) so we should not only not discuss but not forward the whatsApp message that was doing the rounds.

    So there you have it. Three very convincing reasons to dissuade even a bystander from taking any action. Now imagine how difficult it is for a victim to overcome the emotional and psychological barriers just to be heard, let alone believed.

    I may have missed it, but I wonder why the the article above does not suggest reporting these preachers to the authorities and allow them to carry out thorough investigations.

    • Avatar

      Shondha Bati

      June 5, 2017 at 6:51 PM

      Which authority? The author here described spirtual crimes. None of these are legally ‘crimes’ in western countries, supposedly the countries where the crimes are taking place. As long as they are not marrying under a different name/registering multiple marriages legally, raping, groping, forcing sexual favours how do you report them to the legal authorities?

      • Avatar

        Mohammed Patel

        June 6, 2017 at 5:22 PM

        Read the first paragraph…

        “The man who gives lectures about how to treat women is a vicious womanizer. The televangelist who inspires millions to be better people can’t find the inspiration in his own personal life to not exploit vulnerable fans or oppress his family.”

        I may be wrong but I sense deliberate restraint in choice of words in the above paragraph and the whole article generally so as to maintain an element of doubt regarding what is actually meant by being morally corrupt. But by not naming names of the preachers, whatever the reasons may be, leaves room for us to speculate even the worst.

        And why shouldn’t we. I have seen and heard of people being completely star struck in the presence of their scholars. The sheiks are humans too and are susceptible to the letting their spiritual guard down and end up abusing their power…

        Please let’s not bury our heads in the sand.

  21. Avatar

    Tricia

    June 5, 2017 at 9:52 PM

    Women are still falling for this in 2017?? PSA to the sisters: if he’s too cowardly to marry you in front of his and your family and friends, he’ll be too cowardly to fulfill ANY of your rights when you are married, and will leave you in an equally cowardly way. There are support groups for survivors of toxic leadership in other faith communities and we should follow suit. And to the overgrown boys who are still luring women in: grow up and take a cold shower. With all due respect to Umm Zakiyyah, the cases being referenced here are NOT of healthy, functional, polygnous situations where the wives and households have their needs met and are fulfilled emotionally, physically, spiritually, and psychologically. These are bandits masquerading as imams convincing women that they’ve fallen for them and that the only way out is a secret nikah. What is that, she asks? Then he proceeds to tell her about a minority opinion that grants her none of her rights, him all access and shot calling, and all in the name of Islam, and he picks a wali who’s on payroll. Enter the worst shades of spiritual abuse and manipulation that she is forced to put up with because he has left her with nobody to turn to. PLEASE sisters do not fall prey. Nobody is handsome, charming, religious, charismatic enough to take your dignity away and leave you alone to pick up the pieces.
    A doctor or lawyer who abuses their privileges or breaks the code of conduct of their profession loses their license to practice. This is far more serious and we need to set a precedent that enough is enough. The Facebook and instagram adoring fanbase will not rescue them from Divine justice. I pray for the victims but I also pray that the perpetrators pay dearly for their wrongdoing.

    • Umm Zakiyyah

      Umm Zakiyyah

      June 5, 2017 at 11:05 PM

      Tricia,

      Thank you for your comment, specifically “…the cases being referenced here are NOT of healthy, functional, polygnous situations where the wives and households have their needs met and are fulfilled emotionally, physically, spiritually, and psychologically.”

      As a reminder, I merely stated that the meaning of “secret marriage” here should be clearly defined because (as I have witnessed myself on more than one occasion), many imams, scholars, and Islamic teachers (male and female) use the derogatory term “secret marriage” to include ALL polygyny in the West with the aim of painting it as unholy and corrupt because the West doesn’t consider it “lawful.” In fact, I’ve witnessed these speakers, imams, and “scholars” describing polygyny itself as a choice/desire that is indecent, lustful, and corrupt; and thus warning women from agreeing to it *at all.* And it often comes in the same context as warning against genuine evil amongst men or spiritual leaders.

      As I mentioned to the commenter Shondha, I don’t think that’s what Imam Omar is saying here; but when it comes to wide brush terms, it is imperative that we define our terms, lest we send the wrong message unintentionally.

      And yes, the wide brush term “secret marriage” is indeed often applied even when family and friends are involved and approve of the marriage, and when no one in the arrangement is being wronged in any way.

      Therefore, simply defining specifically what a “secret marriage” is in this context can help prevent misunderstanding, as blogs like these have indeed been used to spread anti-polygyny ideology. Because who would argue against the need to stop “corrupt” leaders from preying on innocent women? So by putting polygyny in the same discussion as zina, rape, sexual misconduct, and abuse; no one can defend it, lest they be accused of supporting the aforementioned crimes and sins. And that is unfair.

      This is my point. Let’s stay clear of this by simply explaining what we mean when using terms that have other meanings in similar contexts, and that are often used for the expressed purpose of putting the halaal in the same context as sin, crime, and abuse.

      But I thank you for *your* interpretation of the term. However, that definition is not shared by all Muslims.

  22. Avatar

    Imama

    June 6, 2017 at 10:39 AM

    What often bothers me is that many people consider these “secretive” marriage equivalent of zina, but what they forget is the circumstances of people.

    I would specifically address Omer Sulieman here, if a guy performs a “secret marriage” (given the conditions of consent of wali, mahr etc are satisfied), the article points that the marriage is void. If he announces it, he faces backlash from the Muslim community for ‘getting involved’ with another woman despite having a wife (first one). And finally if he decides that he would divorce the first one and then takes another one (just like the way the monogamous system works in the West), then people pity the poor first wife. Now the thing is that in the later case people are not wrong because usually the first wife would not have money or a job to look after herself. The credit now goes to the fact that since the very beginning girls are taught that their sole responsibility is to take care of the house and make their husbands happy. Unlike the western women who do tend to take their careers alongside the marital wife, majority of muslim women find themselves robbed when the husband leaves them/or they demand divorce if he takes up another wife.

    The irony of Muslim ummah is that we have designed our own set of rules. No one ponders over the point that the second marriage is secretive because some nice guy is trying to protect the first wife while fulfilling the rights of both of them. I agree that it is rare, but rare does not mean that one starts to defy what Allah swt has permitted. Because it is then when adultery becomes way easier, just like in the west, since people avoid divorcing because of the alimony and get engaged in extramarital affairs.

    Rest Allah swt knows the best.

    • Avatar

      Irfaat

      September 26, 2017 at 8:13 PM

      Well said!Agree with you!

    • Avatar

      Irfaat

      September 26, 2017 at 8:25 PM

      I was talking about Imama’s comment!It is hard to find such rational take on this issue

    • Avatar

      Afifa

      September 27, 2017 at 5:43 AM

      Agree with Imama. Allah said,’Don’t put yourselves in front of Allah and His messenger'(49:1).We need to make sure that our opinions and stance on issues are in submission to Allah and His Messenger (PBUH),not in submission to society or culture.

  23. Avatar

    Ruhee

    June 6, 2017 at 12:32 PM

    Did you talk to that scholar about this extremely serious issue? You can ask him to stop it. It seems you know him and even his colleagues as well, who you think are covering his sin as you claimed. So it’s quite easy for you to confront him and listen to him. It may be so that what you are thinking and convinced of is a complete lie and misunderstanding. Go talk to him Shaikh. Correct him with your ‘ilm and ‘hikmah. Then come to tell us how ‘ugly’ or innocent a man he really is.

    Thanks y’all!

  24. Avatar

    Arjmand

    June 6, 2017 at 6:46 PM

    Assalamu alaykum,

    My concern after reading this very well written article is that how do we know that the so called shaykh/scholar that inspires us with inspiring talk is actually someone else behind the scenes? Wouldn’t Allah SWT not inspire people through him? Or when he inspires people, does it automatically mean that he is close to Allah? It is very confusing for me and scary for me to be honest.

    Thank you

  25. Avatar

    Upset

    June 7, 2017 at 1:51 PM

    Aasalam alaikum. This is a disgrace , sisters put in a position when this person should respect and be trusted, but abused his position. Name and shame, his name needs to be told, and never again let near our sisters.

  26. Avatar

    Rabia

    June 7, 2017 at 7:27 PM

    Unfortunately and sadly — I know that this happens and is widespread. We should all be infuriated and ashamed.

    Parents, friends, leaders or concerned community members should keep close contact with young women who attend gatherings or retreats in these spaces, even in their adult years. If you find them withdrawn, suddenly changing their behavior, hiding information or hinting at trouble, take them seriously. It may mean the difference between them coming to you if they experience or see something troubling, or letting it silently eat away at their faith. It may very well start with an “innocent” facebook message, tweet, or text exchange with their favorite “scholar”.

    Women who have been victimized should take heart that Allah hears and sees all. Your silent tears are precious and weighty in His eyes. If you find yourself hiding parts of yourself or your life from the people you love and who love you, know that you are in a very unhealthy situation, and it’s never too late to make a change. Nobody who sincerely cares for you and your well being and future would ask you to keep hidden in the shadows what God has commanded to be made manifest and clear. Especially if he tells you that it’s just temporary or that he just needs time, or that you’re the only one who understands him, or that he can’t function without you in his life, if only you would change this or agree to that or tone down your questioning…only to look up and realize that years of your life have passed by catering to his whims — this is classic, deliberate, and well-trained manipulation.

    I know that I speak for other mothers when I say to these men that if I know who you are and what you’ve done, you will never have a platform to speak at any conference, event, intensive, or take anyone else for a ride on your ego-train ever again.

  27. Avatar

    Juwairiyah Khan

    June 8, 2017 at 7:45 PM

    This needed to be addressed! It was long overdue tbh!

    May Allah swt preserve n protect Shaykh Omar Suleiman, amen.

    I guess all Muslim organisations should be posted with the info Shaykh Omar and other reliable speakers and scholars have on such corrupt speakers and scholars for the safety of the ummah!

    We cannot just wait for things to come out on their own! It will be too late by then. Look at how Adnan Oktar, Haroon Yahya, influenced the Muslim youth and how his poisonous version of Islam penetrated their hearts!

    Allahumma arinal haqqa haqqaw warzuqnat tiba’ah, wa arinal batila batilaw warzuqnaj tinabah

    Translation: O Allah! show us the truth as true, and inspire us to follow it. Show us falsehood as falsehood, and inspire us to abstain from it.

  28. Avatar

    Abdul

    June 10, 2017 at 1:02 PM

    Sh Omar, JazakAllah for bringing light to this. May Allah preserve you, Ameen.
    1) Without naming names, how do we truly deal with this issue?
    2) Is it the responsibility of those who know to publicize and spread what they know to be 100% true?
    3) At what point is “morally corrupt” a permanent label for the person for the rest of their life?

  29. Avatar

    Soumayah

    June 10, 2017 at 9:35 PM

    Here are my 2 suggestions:
    1) I strongly advise that before you invest your trust, membership and money into any of these organizations or collectives, you ask about credentials. Being eloquent is not a credential. Who someone knows or who they worked for a decade ago is not a credential. Women and men, current and former employees and co-workers, or students who can vouch for their education, public AND private character, and who can speak to any concerns you have about the individual should be readily accessible to anybody who inquires, without shame or guilt. If something doesn’t sit right with you about them, don’t ignore those feelings. Those are the demands of this profession where souls are entrusted to their care.

    2) We do not have the luxury of burying our heads in the sand for fear of consequences to people’s faith. We are way past that stage. Women and families have been damaged with no recourse for rectification. You are accountable for the hearts that you have broken. Having a board of directors of close friends and associates that serves at the pleasure of one figure head is not sufficient. Enabling power to grow unchecked because of cult-like ideas about spiritual favor is a major, major problem. If you can’t be voted out of your role by the membership you claim to serve, something is wrong. If you can’t be held accountable when multitudes of women have raised their hands to report concerns, only to be silenced and marginalized, something is very wrong.

    I raise my hands to Almighty God and ask that these imposters are exposed and eliminated from our midst, one by one!

  30. Avatar

    Zainab N

    June 12, 2017 at 3:45 PM

    I read this article and the following questions came to mind: Did you even try talking to the person that you deem so corrupt? Whatever happened to covering sins of your muslim brothers? There are two sides to every story and sometimes its best to resolve issues behind closed doors without making it a public spectacle or using an issue to gain sympathy and popularity.

  31. Avatar

    suraiya kasim

    September 24, 2017 at 3:35 AM

    Asalamualaikum – are you saying that the person is currupt so we must stop learning from him even though what he has taught has been beneficial? The message is right the person is not, does that disqualify the message as well?

  32. Avatar

    Noor

    September 26, 2017 at 6:01 AM

    “The power of having organizations still invite you to their programs to fill seats despite knowing about you”-Unbelievable!In Surah Asr, we as muslims, are told to keep reminding each other Allah’s words.No one has the right to stop someone from doing that. NO ONE.

    • Avatar

      Afifa

      September 27, 2017 at 6:07 AM

      Exactly!Islam gives right to judge behavior,not people.Retaliation is not justice.May Allah not make us of those who pick on and expose the flaws of fellow muslims in the pretense of standing up for haqq.May Allah make us of those who speak out against wrong not out of hate or sense of superiority,but out of love.

  33. Avatar

    Noor

    September 26, 2017 at 6:21 AM

    ‘That way if one vessel breaks, the contents need to be transferred….by the way, good teachers still remain.’-Really?Who are you to suggest to write someone off!Only Rasul (PBUH) was the perfect embodiment of the all the teachings of Islam. We,on the other hand are just work in progress.

    • Avatar

      Afifa

      September 27, 2017 at 6:18 AM

      No one is immune to slip-up.The beauty of Islam is that it doesn’t have a clergy culture.No matter how hard one tries to convince that.May Allah protect us from thinking ourselves superior for our service to Allah just like iblees did.

  34. Avatar

    Noor

    September 26, 2017 at 6:30 AM

    ‘Don’t let the failure of a few cause you to stop seeing the beauty in many.’-Why so eager to show the ‘holier than thou’ image of people instead of the beauty in Islam!FYI,’The televangelist who inspires millions to be better people’ has never claimed to be above other muslims.

  35. Avatar

    Ameen

    September 27, 2017 at 8:04 AM

    Islam is first and foremost about honesty. The Prophet was Sadiq al Ameen.

    As a Muslim brother, I am from the bottom of my heart counseling my brothers that if anyone takes a second wife secretly and does not tell his first wife, then he is not just saying one lie to his first wife but his day and night will be full of lies.

    Allah says that marriage is a SOLEMN PLEDGE (Surah 4, verse 21).

    There can be NOTHING worse in breaking this solemn pledge than in taking a second wife without her knowing.

    Doing this will be evil.

    You are being deceived by the Shaitan and your desires if you deceive your first wife.

    Don’t compromise the negatives effects on your eternal hereafter by letting your lusts make you not only lie but live a life of lies after lies after lies.

    You will then be unhappy in this life and you will be harming your eternal hereafter.

    Taking a second wife is not usually a terrible idea even if it is allowable.

    Why decrease your time in getting closer to Allah through reading the Qur’an, helping those in need?

    If you want to help someone who is not married, help a couple who cannot afford to get married by paying for them to get married.

    There are hundreds of millions of such cases overseas and even some in N. America.

    Marrying a second wife without your first wife being acceptable for that is even worse.

    But supremely worse of all is to marry a second wife without the first wife knowing.

    Do what is good for your soul.

    Don’t let your lust have the ability to rust your akhirat.

    Remember, very soon every human reading this post will turn to dust.

    We all die and the secrets will be on display for all on the Day of Judgement.

  36. Avatar

    Roneca

    September 27, 2017 at 1:46 PM

    Stop throwing words like ‘innocent’,’victim’,’oppressed’ for consenting adult women.

  37. Avatar

    Ovais jamshed

    September 27, 2017 at 5:51 PM

    Asalam o alikum to all,

    It is absolutely heartbreaking for me to see one of heroes getting stuck in this test. I just can’t put deaf ears to either one of them as they both have proven their credibility for years. Omer and the other one I loved you guys for the sake of Allah and I have a very strong believe that when Allah compare the sins to the good he has done for the community, he will get his report card in his right hand inshAllah.

    I hope this is not something based on jealousy or to solidify one school of thought mindset.

    RasoolAllah S.A.W said:
    “Whoever conceals [the faults of] a Muslim, Allah will conceal [his faults] in this life and the Hereafter.”

  38. Avatar

    Rahad

    September 28, 2017 at 9:37 AM

    Assalamu alaikum sheikh Omar.
    I know you are trying to save community & all. It has elements of gheebah as far as the hadith is concerned.
    RasoolAllah taught us:
    “Whoever conceals [the faults of] a Muslim, Allah will conceal [his faults] in this life and the Hereafter.”
    Even if you are fully certain that a person is a “sinner”, how do you know that person hasn’t made sincere tawba & Allah hasnt forgiven that person?
    If you know this person, don’t you think the islamic way would be to sit down & talk to them with genuine intentions of correcting them. Advertising colleague/ex-colleagues “faults” also has an element of self ego. Your reasoning may be valid to yourself but Have you ever thought that shaytan does play a role when it comes to turning one brother against another? This is what he promised to Allah, right? Allah knows whats in people’s heart & who is truly victimised? In Islam, a person’s dignity is of high importance. Sharia takes every measures to protect it.

  39. Avatar

    Roneca

    September 29, 2017 at 3:44 AM

    Making tauba and personally apologizing to the person you have publicly slandered is not enough.You also owe us apology.If you’ve an ounce of decency,take this article down.It exposes you more than the person you intended.

  40. Avatar

    Noor

    October 2, 2017 at 7:10 AM

    What do I do when I find out my favorite preacher has forgotten this Hadith:
    Narrated by Abu Huraira (radhiAllahu ‘anha),
    “I heard Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) saying. “All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, ‘O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,’ though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allah’s screen from himself.”
    Sahih al-Bukhari (#6069)
    Even if we assume your allegations are true,since when is it Islamic to confess our sins to the masses!How many of our sins has Allah hidden from the public. Can we not show the same courtesy to others!
    *Muslim Matters!Don’t be a hypocrite.Don’t delete this comment!

  41. Avatar

    Anila Jahangiri

    December 9, 2017 at 11:49 PM

    Sheikh Omer,

    I think you wrote this in anger since if you weren’t in anger, you would realize that you can’t insinuate about people’s characters in Islam. Whatever that Sheikh did or not, a court needs to deal with it if there was a crime committed and if there wasn’t, then no one talks about another person’s moral failures. I live in Dallas and if you are interested, I am interested in brokering peace between you and Nouman Ali Khan.

  42. Avatar

    Bilqis

    March 3, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    Sheikhs are just as human as anyone else. They will naturally be disposed to the same sins as everyone else, regardless of their knowledge. It is our job to be the stewards of our own deen. What is wrong in our communities is how we put up with crooked, manipulative imams and mosque boards unless we be shunned from the community for criticizing the way things are run on behalf of preserving the religion. If a sheikh does something wrong, call him out. No more culture of silence. We need a culture of accountability.

  43. Avatar

    Nabila

    June 28, 2018 at 3:36 PM

    I can see Imam OS you are advertising yourself and your yaqeen institute by insinuating that when one vessel breaks..transfer the contents and that good teachers still exist.You are so concerned about convincing people that NAK is a gone case and they now should look up you? Really??? This sounds like you this is what this whole scheme was about.To earn popularity through scandal.Rooted in jealousy!!! Otherwise you and the other good teachers you claim are also human beings who have sins.Just because you commit different sins from NAK’s( I totally believe NAK is innocent) does not make you angels as evidenced by this very post of yours.This is slander

  44. Avatar

    Nabila

    June 28, 2018 at 3:51 PM

    ‘Exposing’ your brother to the public was because you wanted some of his customers and fans for yourself.We see right through this sir. Allah warns about wishing for ourselves what He has favoured others with…look for popularity and customers the honourable way brother

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#Society

Obituary of (Mawlana) Yusuf Sulayman Motala (1366/1946 – 1441/2019)

Monday, September 9, turned out to be a day of profound anguish and sorrow for many around the world. In the early morning hours, news of the death of Mawlana* Yusuf Sulayman Motala, fondly known as “Hazrat” (his eminence) to those who were acquainted with him, spread. He had passed away on Sunday at 8:20 pm EST in Toronto, after suffering a heart attack two weeks earlier.

Dr. Mufti Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera

Published

on

Dar Al Uloom Bury, Yusuf Sulayman Motala

A master of hadith and Qur’an. A sufi, spiritual guide and teacher to thousands. A pioneer in the establishment of a religious education system. His death reverberated through hearts and across oceans. We are all mourning the loss of a luminary who guided us through increasingly difficult times.

Monday, September 9, turned out to be a day of profound anguish and sorrow for many around the world. In the early morning hours, news of the death of Mawlana* Yusuf Sulayman Motala, fondly known as “Hazrat” (his eminence) to those who were acquainted with him, spread. He had passed away on Sunday at 8:20 pm EST in Toronto, after suffering a heart attack two weeks earlier. (May the Almighty envelope him in His mercy)

His journey in this world had begun more than 70 years ago in the small village of Nani Naroli in Gujarat, India, where he was born on November 25, 1946 (1 Muharram 1366) into a family known for their piety.

His early studies were largely completed at Jami’a Husayniyya, one of the early seminaries of Gujarat, after which he travelled to Mazahir Ulum, the second oldest seminary of the Indian Sub-Continent, in Saharanpur, India, to complete his ‘alimiyya studies. What drew him to this seminary was the presence of one of the most influential and well-known contemporary spiritual guides, Mawlana Muhammad Zakariyya Kandhlawi (d. 1402/1982), better known as “Hazrat Shaykh.” He had seen Mawlana Zakariyya only briefly at a train stop, but it was enough for him to understand the magnitude of his presence.

Mawlana Yusuf remained in Saharanpur for two years. Despite being younger than many of the other students of Shaykh Zakariya, the shaykh took a great liking to him. Shaykh Zakariya showered him with great attention and even deferred his retirement from teaching Sahih al-Bukhari so that Mawlana Yusuf could study it under his instruction. While in Saharanpur, Mawlana Yusuf also studied under a number of other great scholars, such as Mawlana Muhammad ‘Aqil (author of Al-Durr al-Mandud, an Urdu commentary of Sunan Abi Dawud and current head lecturer of Hadith at the same seminary), Shaykh Yunus Jownpuri (d. 1438/2017) the previous head lecturer of Hadith there), Mawlana As‘adullah Rampuri (d. 1399/1979) and Mufti Muzaffar Husayn (d. 1424/2003).

Upon completion of his studies, Mawlana Yusuf’s marriage was arranged to marry a young woman from the Limbada family that had migrated to the United Kingdom from Gujarat. In 1968, he relocated to the UK and accepted the position of imam at Masjid Zakariya, in Bolton. Although he longed to be in the company of his shaykh, he had explicit instructions to remain in the UK and focus his efforts on establishing a seminary for memorization of Qur’an and teaching of the ‘alimiyya program. The vision being set in motion was to train a generation of Muslims scholars that would educate and guide the growing Muslim community.

Establishing the first Muslim seminary, in the absence of any precedent, was a daunting task. The lack of support from the Muslim community, the lack of integration into the wider British community, and the lack of funds made it seem an impossible endeavour. And yet, Mawlana Yusuf never wavered in his commitment and diligently worked to make the dream of his teacher a reality. In 1973 he purchased the derelict Aitken Sanatorium in the village of Holcombe, near Bury, Lancashire. What had once been a hospice for people suffering from tuberculosis, would become one of the first fully-fledged higher-education Islamic institutes outside of the Indian-Subcontinent teaching the adapted-Nizami syllabus.

The years of struggle by Maulana Yusuf to fulfil this vision paid off handsomely. Today, after four decades, Darul Uloom Al Arabiyya Al Islamiyya, along with its several sister institutes, also founded by Mawlana Yusuf, such as the Jamiatul Imam Muhammad Zakariya seminary in Bradford for girls, have produced well over 2,000 British born (and other international students) male and female ‘alimiyya graduates – many of whom are working as scholars and serving communities across the UK, France, Belgium, Holland, Portugal, the US, Canada, Barbados, Trinidad, Panama, Saudi Arabia, India and New Zealand. Besides these graduates, a countless number of individuals have memorized the Qur’an at these institutes. Moreover, many of the graduates of the Darul Uloom and its sister institutes have set up their own institutes, such as Jamiatul Ilm Wal Huda in Blackburn, Islamic Dawah Academy in Leicester, Jami’ah al-Kawthar in Lancaster, UK, and Darul Uloom Palmela in Portugal, to just mention a few of the larger ones. Within his lifetime, Mawlana Yusuf saw first-hand the fruit of his labours – witnessing his grand students (graduates from his students’ institutes) providing religious instruction and services to communities around the world in their local languages. What started as a relationship of love between a student and teacher, manifested into the transmission of knowledge across continents. In some countries, such as the UK and Portugal, one would be hard-pressed to find a Muslim who had not directly or indirectly benefited from him.

Mawlana Yusuf was a man with deep insights into the needs of Western contemporary society, one that was very different from the one he had grown up and trained in. With a view to contributing to mainstream society, Mawlana Yusuf encouraged his graduates to enter into further education both in post-graduate Islamic courses and western academia, and to diversify their fields of learning through courses at mainstream UK universities. As a result, many ‘alimiyya graduates of his institutes are trained in law, mainstream medicine, natural medicine and homeopathy, mental health, child protection, finance, IT, education, chaplaincy, psychology, philosophy, pharmacy, physics, journalism, engineering, architecture, calligraphy, typography, graphic design, optometry, social services, public health, even British Sign Language. His students also include several who have completed PhDs and lecture at universities. His vision was to train British-born (or other) Muslim scholars who would be well versed in contemporary thought and discipline along with their advanced Islamic learning, equipping them to better contribute to society.

Despite his commitment to the establishment of a public good, the shaykh was an immensely private person and avoided seeking accolade or attention. For many decades he refused invitations to attend conferences or talks around the country, choosing to focus on his students and his family, teaching the academic syllabus and infusing the hearts of many aspirants with the love of Allah through regular gatherings of remembrance (dhikr) and spiritual retreats (i’tikaf) in the way of his shaykh’s Chishti Sufi order.

During my entire stay with him at Darul Uloom (1985–1997), I can say with honesty that I did not come across a single student who spoke ill of him. He commanded such awe and respect that people would find it difficult to speak with him casually. And yet, for those who had the opportunity to converse with him, knew that he was the most compassionate, humble, and loving individual.

He was full of affection for his students and colleagues and had immense concern for the Muslim Ummah, especially in the West. He possessed unparalleled forbearance and self-composure. When he taught or gave a talk, he spoke in a subdued and measured tone, as though he was weighing every word, knowing the import it carried. He would sit, barely moving and without shifting his posture. Even after a surgical procedure for piles, he sat gracefully teaching us Sahih al-Bukhari. Despite the obvious pain, he never made an unpleasant expression or winced from the pain.

Anyone who has listened to his talks or read his books can bear testimony to two things: his immense love for the Messenger of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) and his love for Shaykh Mawlana Muhammad Zakariya Kandhlawi (may Allah have mercy on him). It is probably hard to find a talk in which he did not speak of the two. His shaykh was no doubt his link to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) in both his hadith and spiritual transmissions.

Over the last decade, he had retired from most of his teaching commitments (except Sahih al-Bukhari) and had reduced meeting with people other than his weekly dhikr gatherings. His time was spent with his family and young children and writing books. His written legacy comprises over 20 titles, mostly in Urdu but also a partial tafsir of the Qur’an in classical Arabic.

After the news of his heart attack on Sunday, August 25, and the subsequent effects to his brain, his well-wishers around the world completed hundreds of recitals of the Qur’an, several readings of the entire Sahih al-Bukhari, thousands of litanies and wirds of the formula of faith (kalima tayyiba), and gave charity in his name. However, Allah Most High willed otherwise and intended for him to depart this lowly abode to begin his journey to the next. He passed away two weeks later and reports state that approximately 4,000 people attended his funeral. Had his funeral been in the UK, the number of attendees would have multiplied several folds. But he had always shied away from large crowds and gatherings and maybe this was Allah Most High’s gift to him after his death. He was 75 (in Hijra years, and 72 in Gregorian) at the time of his death and leaves behind eight children and several grandchildren.

Mawlana Yusuf educated, inspired and nourished the minds and hearts of countless across the UK and beyond. May Allah Almighty bless him with the loftiest of abodes in the Gardens of Firdaws in the company of Allah’s beloved Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) and grant all his family, students, and cherishers around the world beautiful patience.

Dr Mufti Abdur-Rahman Mangera
Whitethread Institute, London
(A fortunate graduate of Darul Uloom Bury, 1996–97)

*a learned Muslim scholar especially in India often used as a form of address

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Shaykh Hamza Yusuf And The Question of Rebellion In The Islamic Tradition

Dr Usaama al-Azami

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Sepoy rebellion, Shaykh Hamza

In recent years, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, a notable Islamic scholar from North America, has gained global prominence by supporting efforts by the United Arab Emirates (UAE) to deal with the fallout of the Arab revolutions. The UAE is a Middle Eastern autocracy that has been the chief strategist behind quelling the Arab revolutionary aspiration for accountable government in the region. Shaykh Hamza views himself as helping prevent the region from falling into chaos by supporting one of its influential autocratic states. However, more recently, he has become embroiled in another controversy because of comments he made regarding the Syrian revolution in 2016 that surfaced online earlier this week and for which he has since apologised. I will not discuss these comments directly in this article, but the present piece does have a bearing on the issue of revolution as it addresses the question of how Islamic scholars have traditionally responded to tyranny. Thus, in what follows, I somewhat narrowly focus on another recent recording of Shaykh Hamza that has been published by a third party in the past couple of weeks entitled: “Hamza Yusuf’s response to the criticism for working with Trump administration”. While it was published online at the end of August 2019, the short clip may, in fact, predate the Trump controversy, as it only addresses the more general charge that Shaykh Hamza is supportive of tyrannical governments.

Thus, despite its title, the primary focus of the recording is what the Islamic tradition purportedly says about the duty of Muslims to render virtually unconditional obedience to even the most tyrannical of rulers. In what follows, I argue that Shaykh Hamza’s contention that the Islamic tradition has uniformly called for rendering obedience to tyrannical rule—a contention that he has been repeating for many years—is inaccurate. Indeed, it is so demonstrably inaccurate that one wonders how a scholar as learned as Shaykh Hamza can portray it as the mainstream interpretation of the Islamic tradition rather than as representing a particularly selective reading of fourteen hundred years of scholarship. Rather than rest on this claim, I will attempt to demonstrate this in what follows. (Note: this article was sent to Shaykh Hamza for comment at the beginning of this month, but he has not replied in time for publication.)

Opposing all government vs opposing a government

Shaykh Hamza argues that “the Islamic tradition” demands that one render virtually absolute obedience to one’s rulers. He bases this assertion on a number of grounds, each of which I will address in turn. Firstly, he argues that Islam requires government, because the opposite of having a government would be a state of chaos. This is, however, to mischaracterise the arguments of the majority of mainstream scholars in Islamic history down to the present who, following explicit Qur’anic and Prophetic teachings, opposed supporting tyrannical rulers. None of these scholars ever advocated the removal of government altogether. They only opposed tyranny. For some reason that is difficult to account for, Shaykh Hamza does not, in addressing the arguments of his interlocutors, make the straightforward distinction between opposing tyranny, and opposing the existence of any government at all.

A complex tradition

Rather than support these tyrannical governments, the Islamic tradition provides a variety of responses to how one should oppose such governments, ranging from the more quietist—opposing them only in one’s heart—to the more activist—opposing them through armed rebellion. The majority of later scholars, including masters such as al-Ghazzali (d. 505/1111), Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (d. 795/1393), and Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani (d. 852/1449) appear to have fallen somewhere between these two poles, advocating rebellion only in limited circumstances, and mostly advising a vocally critical posture towards tyranny. Of course, some early scholars, such as the sanctified member of the Prophetic Household, Sayyiduna Husayn (d. 61/680) had engaged in armed opposition to the tyranny of the Umayyads resulting in his martyrdom. Similarly, the Companion ‘Abdullah b. Zubayr (d. 73/692), grandson of Abu Bakr (d. 13/634), and son of al-Zubayr b. al-‘Awwam (d. 36/656), two of the Ten Companions Promised Paradise, had established a Caliphate based in Makkah that militarily tried to unseat the Umayyad Caliphal counter-claimant.

However, the model of outright military rebellion adopted by these illustrious scholars was generally relinquished in later centuries in favour of other forms of resisting tyranny. This notwithstanding, I will try to show that the principle of vocally resisting tyranny has always remained at the heart of the Islamic tradition contrary to the contentions of Shaykh Hamza. Indeed, I argue that the suggestion that Shaykh Hamza’s work with the UAE, an especially oppressive regime in the Arab world, is somehow backed by the Islamic tradition can only be read as a mischaracterisation of this tradition. He only explicitly cites two scholars from Islamic history to support his contention, namely Shaykhs Ahmad Zarruq (d. 899/1493) and Abu Bakr al-Turtushi (d. 520/1126), both of whom were notable Maliki scholars from the Islamic West. Two scholars of the same legal school, from roughly the same relatively peripheral geographic region, living roughly four hundred years apart, cannot fairly be used to represent the swathe of Islamic views to be found over fourteen hundred years in lands as far-flung as India to the east, Russia to the north, and southern Africa to the south.

What does the tradition actually say?

Let me briefly illustrate the diversity of opinion on this issue within the Islamic tradition by citing several more prominent and more influential figures from the same tradition alongside their very different stances on the issue of how one ought to respond to tyrannical rulers. Most of the Four Imams are in fact reported to have supported rebellion (khuruj) which is, by definition, armed. A good summary of their positions is found in the excellent study in Arabic by Shaykh ‘Abdullah al-Dumayji, who is himself opposed to rebellion, but who notes that outright rebellion against tyrannical rule was in fact encouraged by Abu Hanifa (d. 150/767) and Malik (d. 179/795), and is narrated as one of the legal positions adopted by al-Shafi‘i (d. 204/820) and Ahmad b. Hanbal (d. 241/855). As these scholars’ legal ideas developed and matured into schools of thought, many later adherents also maintained similar positions to those attributed to the founders of these schools. To avoid suggesting that armed rebellion against tyrants was the dominant position of the later Islamic tradition, let me preface this section with a note from Holberg Prize-winning Islamic historian, Michael Cook, who notes in his magisterial study of the doctrine of commanding right and forbidding wrong that “in the face of the delinquency of the ruler, there is a clear mainstream position [in the Islamic tradition]: rebuke is endorsed while [armed] rebellion is rejected.”

But there were also clearly plenty of outliers, or more qualified endorsements of rebellion against tyrants, as well as the frequent disavowal of the obligation to render them any obedience. Thus for the Malikis, one can find Qadi Abu Bakr b. al-‘Arabi (d. 543/1148) who asserts that advocating rebellion against tyrants is the main position of the madhhab; similarly among later Hanafis, one finds Qadi Abu Bakr al-Jassas (d. 370/981); for the Hanbalis, one may cite the positions of the prolific scholars Imam Ibn ‘Aqil (d. 513/1119), Ibn al-Jawzi (d. 597/1201), and in a more qualified sense, Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali. Among later Shafi‘is, I have found less explicit discussions of rebellion in my limited search, but a prominent Shafi‘i like the influential exegete and theologian al-Fakhr al-Razi (d. 606/1210) makes explicit, contrary to Shaykh Hamza’s claims, that not only is obeying rulers not an obligation, in fact “most of the time it is prohibited, since they command to nothing but tyranny.” This is similar in ways to the stance of other great Shafi‘is such as al-hafiz Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani who notes concerning tyrannical rulers (umara’ al-jawr) that the ulama state that “if it is possible to depose them without fitna and oppression, it is an obligation to do so. Otherwise, it is obligatory to be patient.” It is worth noting that the normative influence of such a statement cited by Ibn Hajar transcends the Shafi‘i school given that it is made in his influential commentary on Sahih al-Bukhari. Once again, contrary to the assertions of Shaykh Hamza, there is nothing to suggest that any of the illustrious scholars who supported rebellion against tyrannical rulers was advocating the anarchist removal of all government. Rather they were explicitly advocating the replacement of a tyrant with a just ruler where this was possible.

Al-Ghazzali on confronting tyrants

A final example may be taken from the writing of Imam al-Ghazzali, an exceptionally influential scholar in the Islamic tradition who Shaykh Hamza particularly admires. On al-Ghazzali, who is generally opposed to rebellion but not other forms of opposition to tyranny, I would like to once again cite the historian Michael Cook. In his previously cited work, after an extensive discussion of al-Ghazzali’s articulation of the doctrine of commanding right and forbidding wrong, Cook concludes (p. 456):

As we have seen, his views on this subject are marked by a certain flirtation with radicalism. In this Ghazzālī may have owed something to his teacher Juwaynī, and he may also have been reacting to the Ḥanafī chauvinism of the Seljūq rulers of his day. The duty, of course, extends to everyone, not just rulers and scholars. More remarkably, he is prepared to allow individual subjects to have recourse to weapons where necessary, and even to sanction the formation of armed bands to implement the duty without the permission of the ruler. And while there is no question of countenancing rebellion, Ghazzālī is no accommodationist: he displays great enthusiasm for men who take their lives in their hands and rebuke unjust rulers in harsh and uncompromising language.

Most of the material Cook bases his discussion upon is taken from al-Ghazzali’s magnum opus, The Revival of the Religious Sciences. Such works once again demonstrate that the Islamic tradition, or great Sufi masters and their masterworks, cannot be the basis for the supportive attitude towards tyrannical rule on the part of a minority of modern scholars.

Modern discontinuities and their high stakes

But modern times give rise to certain changes that also merit our attention. In modern times, new technologies of governance, such as democracy, have gone some way to dealing with challenges such as the management of the transition of power without social breakdown and the loss of life, as well as other forms of accountability that are not possible in absolute autocracies. For their part, absolute autocracies have had their tyrannical dimensions amplified with Orwellian technologies that invade private spaces and facilitate barbaric forms of torture and inhumane degradation on a scale that was likely unimaginable to premodern scholars. The stakes of a scholar’s decision of whether to support autocracy or democracy could not be higher.

Modern scholars like Shaykh Yusuf al-Qaradawi (b. 1345/1926), someone who Shaykh Hamza’s own mentor, Shaykh Abdullah b. Bayyah (b. 1353f./1935) considered a teacher until fairly recently, has advocated for an Islamic conception of democracy as a possible means to deal with the problem of tyranny that plagues much of the Muslim world. He is hardly the only scholar to do so. And in contrast with some of the scholars of the past who advocated armed rebellion in response to tyranny, most contemporary scholars supporting the Arab revolutions have argued for peaceful political change wherever possible. They have advocated for peaceful protest in opposition to tyranny. Where this devolved into violence in places like Libya, Syria, and Yemen, this was generally because of the disproportionately violent responses of regimes to peaceful protests.

Shaykh Hamza on the nature of government

For Shaykh Hamza, the fault here appears to lie with the peaceful protestors for provoking these governments to crush them. Such a conception of the dynamics of protest appears to assume that the autocratic governmental response to this is a natural law akin to cause and effect. The logic would seem to be: if one peacefully calls for reform and one is murdered in cold blood by a tyrannical government, then one has only oneself to blame. Governments, according to this viewpoint, have no choice but to be murderous and tyrannical. But in an age in which nearly half of the world’s governments are democracies, however flawed at times, why not aspire to greater accountability and less violent forms of governance than outright military dictatorship?

Rather than ask this question, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf appears to be willing to defend autocracy no matter what they do on the grounds that government, in principle, is what is at stake. Indeed, in defending government as necessary and a blessing, he rhetorically challenges his critics to “ask the people of Libya whether government is a blessing; ask the people of Yemen whether government is a blessing; ask the people of Syria whether government is a blessing?” The tragic irony of such statements is that these countries have, in part, been destroyed because of the interventions of a government, one for which Shaykh Hamza serves as an official, namely the UAE. This government has one of the most aggressive foreign policies in the region and has been instrumental in the failure of representative governments and the survival of tyrannical regimes throughout the Middle East.

Where do we go from here?

In summary, Shaykh Hamza’s critics are not concerned that he is “supporting governments,” rather they are concerned that for the last few years, he has found himself supporting bad government and effectively opposing the potential for good government in a region that is desperately in need of it. And while he may view himself as, in fact, supporting stability in the region by supporting the UAE, such a view is difficult if not impossible to reconcile with the evidence. Given his working relationship with the UAE government, perhaps Shaykh Hamza could use his position to remind the UAE of the blessing of government in an effort to stop them from destroying the governments in the region through proxy wars that result in death on an epic scale. If he is unable to do this, then the most honourable thing to do under such circumstances would be to withdraw from such political affiliations and use all of his influence and abilities to call for genuine accountability in the region in the same way that he is currently using his influence and abilities to provide cover, even if unwittingly, for the UAE’s oppression.

And Allah knows best.

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Raising A Child Between Ages 2-7 | Dr Hatem Al Haj

Dr. Hatem El Haj M.D Ph.D

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children drawing crayons

This is called a pre-operational period by Jean Piaget who was focused on cognitive development.

Children this age have difficulty reconciling between different dimensions or seemingly contradictory concepts. One dimension will dominate and the other will be ignored. This applies in the physical and abstract realms. For example, the water in the longer cup must be more than that in the shorter one, no matter how wide each cup is. Length dominates over width in his/her mind.

Throughout most of this stage, a child’s thinking is self-centered (egocentric). This is why preschool children have a problem with sharing.

In this stage, language develops very quickly, and by two years of age, kids should be combining words, and by three years, they should be speaking in sentences.

Erik Erikson, who looked at development from a social perspective, felt that the child finishes the period of autonomy vs. shame by 3 years of age and moves on to the period of initiative vs. guilt which will dominate the psycho-social development until age 6. In this period, children assert themselves as leaders and initiative takers. They plan and initiate activities with others. If encouraged, they will become leaders and initiative takers.

Based on the above, here are some recommendations:

In this stage, faith would be more caught than taught and felt than understood. The serene, compassionate home environment and the warm and welcoming masjid environment are vital.

Recognition through association: The best way of raising your kid’s love of Allah and His Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) is by association. If you buy him ice cream, take the opportunity to tell them it is Allah who provided for you; the same applies to seeing a beautiful rose that s/he likes, tell them it is Allah who made it. Tell them stories about Prophet Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). Statements like: “Prophet Muhammad was kinder to kids than all of us”; “Prophet Muhammad was kind to animals”; ” Prophet Muhammad loved sweets”; ” Prophet Muhammad helped the weak and old,” etc. will increase your child’s love for our most beloved ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him).

Faith through affiliation: The child will think, “This is what WE do, and how WE pray, and where WE go for worship.” In other words, it is a time of connecting with a religious fraternity, which is why the more positive the child’s interactions with that fraternity are, the more attached to it and its faith he/she will become.

Teach these 2-7 kids in simple terms. You may be able to firmly insert in them non-controversial concepts of right and wrong (categorical imperatives) in simple one-dimensional language. Smoking is ḥarâm. No opinions. NO NUANCES. No “even though.” They ate not ready yet for “in them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people.”

Promote their language development by speaking to them a lot and reading them books, particularly such books that provoke curiosity and open discussions to enhance their expressive language. Encourage them to be bilingual as learning two languages at once does not harm a child’s cognitive abilities, rather it enhances them.

This is despite an initial stage of confusion and mixing that will resolve by 24 to 30 months of age. By 36 months of age, they will be fluent bilingual speakers. Introduce Islamic vocabulary, such as Allah, Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him), masjid, Muslim, brothers, salaat, in-sha’a-Allah, al-Hamdulillah, subhana-Allah, etc. (Don’t underestimate the effect of language; it does a lot more than simply denoting and identifying things.)

In this pre-operational period, their ability of understanding problem solving and analysis is limited. They can memorize though. However, the focus on memorization should still be moderate. The better age for finishing the memorization of the Quran is 10-15.

Use illustrated books and field trips.

Encourage creativity and initiative-taking but set reasonable limits for their safety. They should also realize that their freedom is not without limits.

Between 3-6 years, kids have a focus on their private parts, according to Freud. Don’t get frustrated; tell them gently it is not appropriate to touch them in public.

Don’t get frustrated with their selfishness; help them gently to overcome this tendency, which is part of this stage.

Parenting: Raising a Child from Age 0 to 2 | Dr. Hatem Al Haj

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