يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ
“O you who have attained faith! Be patient in adversity, outdo all others in endurance, and be ever ready [to do what is right], and remain conscious of God, so that you may succeed!” – Qur’an 3:200
This open letter was inspired by a noticeable increase in requests for advice and reassurance from frustrated community activists and baffled non-Muslim allies.
At the root of this widespread sense of bewilderment and disappointment is what I call “uncle behavior.” Below, I breakdown the most common types of uncles and then explore some practical advice which may help you deal more effectively with our community.
Dear – sometimes too idealistic – community activist,
We get it.
The election of President Trump was literally your last straw. The administration’s weekly debacles, the scary campaign rhetoric now being echoed in public policy, the spikes in hate crimes, and the Muslim bans have broken the proverbial camel’s back.
Now, you’re more motivated than ever. You’ve finally decided to act on all those late-night, coffee shop conversations. You know the ones, where you and a few of your closest homies solve all the world’s major problems over an overpriced, sugar laden, espresso based concoction.
So now, you just can’t wait to get more involved with the community and make a real difference!
Well, before you jump in with both feet, let me introduce you to a saying that – while not a hadith – is nonetheless full of wisdom. The saying goes, “no good deed goes unpunished.”
We’ve all witnessed this, a person starts volunteering or gives a halaqah (short religious talk/reminder) and they weren’t known to be particularly active or religious before. All the sudden their very own friends are questioning their motives. Well, right now that is you and your friends are the uncles.
“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” – Malcolm X
About this field guide:
First, we have to come to a common understanding of the term.
Here’s a helpful definition of uncle, chacha or ammu as used in the context of this article:
cha·cha /cH’aah-cH’aah,/ noun a:
Urdu for uncle, the brother of one’s father.
informal b: an individual, normally male, who often is a community elder and who wields considerable power, influence and/or authority in the Muslim community at some level.
Another way to grasp the meaning is in the following joke, the American Muslim community has far too many chiefs and not enough Pakistanis. In this crude joke, if you substitute “chief” with “chacha” you’ll get a different layer of the meaning we are exploring in this article.
In short, we are not using uncle in a family sense, and not even to denote a male community leader, as we’ve got plenty of women “chachas” too, and please note we also have several examples of “chachas” who are not only, not immigrants, but who are second generation and beyond as well. What I’m talking about is individuals who play a role in a specific way and with certain identifiable behaviors (often controversial) in the internal Muslim community’s politics and activism.
Eventually, it all boils down to one quintessential question about uncle behavior; how can one get things done despite the egos, the old style thinking, the tit-for-tat obstructionism, and of course other abuses of authority?
Now, that we understand our purpose, let’s explore the various types of “chachas” by examining their core and defining characteristics.
WARNING: If you believe that you are being described as one of the following types of chachas, that is your inner voice talking.
- The “BIG” Donor aka Mr. Money Bags – These chachas believe money buys authority. In fact, it is a reality that professional and sustained activism starts and ends with funding. What should also always be remembered is that more often than not what distinguishes Mr. Money Bags from a normal donor or philanthropist, is not their potential for making a large gift, but instead the way they use that potential for status and influence. If you pay attention a telltale sign that you are encountering a Mr. Money Bags is that he or she doesn’t often actually give or give at the level that folks believe they can.
- The Diva aka The Super Star – These uncles need to be the center of attention. It simply does not matter if they did any of the work or just showed up the day of the event, they will be seen and they will often find a way to speak to the media or even invite some sort of attention for themselves (welcomed or not) to your effort. These are the folks that (while not on the program) will just walk up to an empty podium and start talking to the attendance as if they’re a guest speaker. Or, they are the folks that are known for getting in line during your event’s Q&A time, only to give a long-winded dissertation from the audience instead of actually asking a question.
- The Secular Fuqaha aka Mr. Entitled – Normally younger than other uncles, The Secular Faqih is also often lacking in real world experience. A defining characteristic of these chachas is their need to make sure you know about their “credentials” say a JD or other advanced degree from XYZ (read impressive) university. Also of note, is that these uncles are often unconcerned about religious norms and can behave very callously with imams, students of knowledge and scholars. To compensate for this, they frequently become fatwa shoppers (folks who rely on Shaykh Google for religious opinions that confirm what they already decided they wanted to do). The bottom line with Mr. Entitled is that he or she feels themselves to be uniquely qualified for and expects to be given key leadership roles and authority, but doesn’t want to actually earn it by building trust and accomplishing milestones for the community.
- The Puppeteer aka The Manipulator – The Puppeteer is very different person than a ture and inspired leader, i.e. someone who sees the bigger picture and tries to help people find where they can best contribute to the cause. The Puppeteer does not look to how to best allocate talent, nor do they try to utilize shura (consultation) and will often not even attempt to build a consensus around their agendas. Instead, they create factions and/or emphasize distractions among the key leaders. What makes The Puppeteer dangerous and distinct from an effective leader is that they do not uplift others, they instead undercut others and stunt the community’s growth and empowerment.
- Mr. Photo Op aka The Partisan Hack – These ammus have somehow concluded that our entire community’s best interests, and in some extreme examples, Islam itself, is analogous to the platform of whatever political parties they have drank the Kool-Aid from. What distinguishes Mr. Photo Op from effective political activists is that for these uncles, access to elected officials, and not actual policy influence is the goal. Mr. Photo Op is the civic equivalent to the groupie culture we see around our more famous “rockstar” imams and speakers.
- The Status Climber aka The Name Dropper – Status Climbers are defined by their desire for advancement. They may be most active at the local level; however they are often seen traveling from one meeting of national leaders to the next. They do this of their own volition (read they’re not invited as a panelist or intellectual contributor) and are often relegated to a position of observing the meeting, rather planning it or being charged with responsibility for some outcome. These uncles are after what they see as advancement by way of a position with a national and/or more influential organization.
- Lil’Saddam aka The Authoritarian – We Muslims often have a real issue in our community, which is the lack of willingness to challenge our leaders in a constructive way. We are really good at criticizing them, especially behind their backs, but when we perceive a “strongman” type, we far too often retreat from active engagement and shura. This tendency creates a vacuum of talent and an artificial leadership lid limiting our growth and level of accomplishments. The main problem with the Lil’Saddams of our community is that they control disproportionate amounts of influence without benefiting from the genius and talent in our community. Sadly, these little dictators see often talent and effectiveness as personal threats and undermine new approaches, new efforts and upcoming leaders.
- The Tribal Chieftain aka Mr. in MY culture/nation/movement – Tribal Chieftains put their ethnic identity or their affiliation with an ideology on par with or even above their religious identity. They mix cultural organizations with Islamic work. Admittedly, where culture stops and religion begins, can be at times a complex issue and a confusing line to draw. But for the purposes of this post, the Tribal Chieftain is that community leader who simply has to have his ethnic or ideological group at the center of all things Muslim; even when an event is clearly about other groups than his or hers. Pro-Tip: Tribal Chieftains often get into conflicts over what ethnic cuisines are served or not served at community functions.
- Millennial “Wannabe” Malcolm aka Mr. Perpetual Conflict – Let me first state that Malcolm X’s autobiography was my personal introduction to Islam. He was my first inspiration to become a Muslim. He was a great man who dealt with tremendous adversity, and he had the courage to really see the world as it was. He was also pragmatic and bold enough to make dramatic life changes, regardless of the costs. He boldly made those changes throughout his life, whenever he was presented with compelling evidence or arrived at a new perspective. Today’s “Millennial Malcolms” are very different. They are driven by anger and frustration, but they do not look beyond calling out injustices. Millennial Malcolms’ activism and leadership potential end at the conclusion of the latest protest. Millennial Malcolms are often great motivators, who excel at raising awareness of critical issues. They are often very beneficial to the community. The mistake we too often make is looking to a Millennial Malcolm for long term solutions or to develop comprehensive and long-term empowerment strategies.
- Diwan Trump aka Mr. Insecure – Diwan Trump is a combination of Little Saddam and The Puppeteer, however, Diwan Trump’s most defining characteristic is his or her need to be praised. I am not talking about: describing a successful event, or campaign in order to fundraise or promote a new venture and/or way of doing things. Diwan Trumps self-promote to fill a void, to feel important and to become or stay relevant. Diwan Trumps care about Diwan Trump, first and foremost. A good indicator that you’re dealing with a Diwan Trump is their tendency use bully tactics like withdrawing from or even undermining support for positive efforts once they are no longer finding praise and reassurance in the effort.
NOTE: This list has been drawn from over 16 years of experience and travel as activist, advisor, consultant and nonprofit leader. Nearly every type of chacha can be found in your local community regardless of location, the community’s size, maturity or cultural and ethnic makeup.
So you’ve identified a chacha, now what?
First of all, you have to come to grips with the realization that we are all – to varying degrees – chachas. More importantly, even though we’ve been frustrated by uncle behavior in the past, is that we (you, me and our brothers and sisters) are becoming chachas ourselves and at an alarming rate!
Please remember that the categories above are not absolute, nor are they mutually exclusive, and a person can have elements from multiple uncle classifications.
What’s most important for us as Muslims, is that our intentions are not to label the people in our lives as a form of belittlement or chastisement.
Instead, we should use this guide to identify behaviors and formulate strategies so that we can get more good work done. Being able to work with, around, or at least with as minimal conflict as possible with our community’s existing power structures is one of the primary goals of this post.
Also, we must realize that being a chacha can be simply a matter of perspective. You (me), and/or your favorite scholar are very likely seen — right now — by others as a Diva, an Authoritarian, a Manipulator or etc.
In fact, with the possible exception of the Diwan Trumps of the world, the people who fit into one or more of the other categories of chachas, can be and more than likely ARE very valuable and beneficial assets to the community.
Also, let us never forget the amazing levels of sacrifice that the earlier generations of Muslim leaders have made. I’m talking about those who are effectively the first generation of the modern American Muslim Community. These community founders (the early African American Muslim community leaders and the late, baby boomer and Gen X era, immigrant leaders who both were pioneers and funders of so many of today’s masajid and community institutions). These extraordinary people, gave of their time, prayers and money at levels that we RARELY see nowadays. May Allah reward them for all they’ve done, as we continue to benefit from their sacrifices, vision and deeds every day.
Also, it may be a hard to acknowledge reality, but, it just might be the case, that our problem with who we think of as uncles, is in our own hearts, and in how we see others.
So, I’d like to share some advice that I was blessed to get early in my career. In late 2001, a community leader told me to think of the community’s leadership as members of my own extended family. He said, “We all have that uncle that we don’t want to invite to the wedding, but we know we have too.” Then, in 2002, another gem was given to me, and it came from someone with whom I had a very adversarial relationship with, he said: “You are not responsible for the actions of others. However, how you choose to react to others is on you.” I pray that Allah blesses both these brothers for their wisdom immensely.
You see, it is completely natural for other leaders to want to recruit, influence or collaborate with you. It is also natural for people to feel threatened, or worry about competition that could affect them or their work.
Our job is to emulate Prophet Muhammad and find ways to achieve the greater good, regardless of your environment. Rasulullah did not give up after the incident at Ta’if, nor did he seek revenge. Instead, our beloved Prophet saw the potential in those that rejected him, and prayed for them and the future. He did this immediately after examining his own relationship with Allah.
When contemplating if and how to work with the various types of uncles in your life, I recommend the following litmus tests. 1) Look to see if they have effectively become gatekeepers between the Muslim community and our neighbors and allies. 2) Try to figure out if the person can work with others across ideological and political lines, in short is the person a uniter or trying to build personal power? Always remember, we do not need more gatekeepers or more division. But we absolutely need more opportunity.
Finally, my strongest recommendation for anyone seeking to be a more effective leader is to develop a personal cabinet of advisors. I recommend the following categories:
- The Subject Matter Experts – People who are standouts in their field and know their own perspective comes from their specific expertise. As a barebones start, you should include Islamic scholars (draw from multiple sources), lawyers, media professionals, and successful business men and women. Then you should add more niche personalities as your activism and leadership develop.
- The Connectors – These are folks that want to see your circles of influence expand. They are connected movers and shakers and are not threatened by new talent.
- The Builder – Builders are people who see your talent and potential and want to invest in your growth. Be careful though many builder types want to build on you instead build you up.
- The Protector – Protectors are like cheerleaders but are more substantive in that they not only promote your work, or help motivate you when you’re feeling down, but they also give you real criticism. They will tell you when they think you are wrong, or making mistakes. Protectors keep it real, but do so in a respectful way.
- The Pillar – The Pillars are those few, very rare, gems of a human being that are almost universally revered. They enjoy a positive reputation, but more importantly they are deeply respected. There are no shortcuts to Pillar status, so look to elders who have huge and compassionate hearts. The role of a Pillar – if you can find one – is to be a combination of all the above roles, but with an emphasis on being your strategist when it comes to relationships. They keep you healthy by reminding you to maintain balance in your life. They advocate to you, the needs of your family and your own spiritual journey and relationship with Allah.
If you pick them right, these advisors will help you navigate your uncle environment and prevent you from unwittingly becoming one yourself!
Lastly, and to conclude take advantage of Ramadan. Cleanse your heart and see if any of the chachas in your life have the potential to become part of your personal cabinet of advisors. Be bold, take calculated risks and always remember success is due to Allah’s blessing and favor alone. Your effort and gifts are only the tools that allow you to be the best servant of God that you can be.
May Allah bless us all to complete Ramadan washed clean of our sins and with renewed spirits, ready to serve!
More Baby, Less Shark: Planning For Kids In The Masjid
Of all the challenges that your focus can face in prayer, there are few as insidious as Baby Shark.
Doo-doo-doo doo. Baby Shark, doo doo doo doo. Baby Shark.
If you are not a parent, or have the type of amnesia that parents sometimes develop once their kids grow up, then you might assume that not having kids in the masjid is actually a solution to Baby-Shark induced distraction.
The inconvenient (and often sticky) truth is that not having kids in the masjid is a serious problem, not a solution. No kids in the masjid means an entire generation of the Muslim community growing up outside of the Muslim community.
Restricting the presence of children and assigning masjid priority to fully-formed, quietly attentive, and spiritually disciplined attendees – like adults – is a bit like restricting health club membership to triathletes. You’re already fit. So can we please let someone else use the treadmill, even if they’re not using it as well as you could?
The masjid is the center of the community for all Muslims, not a sanctuary for the preservation of reverent silence. For a more detailed discussion on this, please see this great Soundvision article, Children in the Masjid, Making Space for Our Future.
For suggestions on how to help your children enjoy the masjid without Baby-Sharking the rest of the congregation to tears, I present the following recommendations.
Rather than assume your child will be entertained by nothing but the carpet and how many weird faces they can spot in the bilaterally symmetrical patterns, bring them something to play with. One way to do this is to prepare your child a special bag for the masjid.
Stock it with as many things applicable:
- A reusable water bottle: Select a bottle that your child can drink from on their own, preferably not likely to tip or spill onto the masjid carpet. No one appreciates a soggy sujood
- A nut-free snack: If you think it’s too much trouble to be considerate of people with life-threatening allergies, consider how much trouble it is to bury a child who dies of anaphylaxis. Children share snacks in the masjid, and that’s ok as long as no one dies.
- A small, quiet toy: The dollar store can be tremendously helpful in keeping your inventory fresh and financially feasible. Please be aware of swallowing hazards, since your child is likely to share the toy with others. One hopes.
- A sweater or blanket: Sitting for long periods of time in an air-conditioned building can make anyone cold.
- Art Supplies: Pack crayons, pencils, or markers IF you feel your child can refrain from drawing on the walls, or allowing other, smaller children from doing so. Magic Erasers don’t work on the prayer rug.
Critically- and I do mean critically- don’t let your children access the special masjid bag unless they are in the masjid. The last thing you want is for your child to be bored with its contents before they even make it to prayers. Storing this bag somewhere inaccessible to your child can help keep its contents fresh and interesting longer.
Non-parent tip: Keep allergen-free lollipops in your pocket. Reward the kids sitting nicely (with parents’ permission) and you have killed two birds with one stone.
- You’ve helped a child establish a happy memory and relationship to the masjid.
- Kids with lollipops in their mouths make less noise.
Do not pack:
Balls: Not even small ones, not even for small children. Your child may not have the gross-motor skills to kick or throw a ball at people who are praying, but there will always be children in the masjid who do. They will take your child’s ball, and they will play ball with it, because that’s what balls are for. Consider also the potential damage to light fixtures, ceiling fans, audio/video equipment, and the goodwill of people who get hit, run down, or kicked in the shins. The masjid is just not the place to play ball, even if the floor is green and has lines on it.
Scooters: Do not bring scooters, skateboards, heelies, or other mobility toys that would turn your child a faster-moving object than they already are. Your child’s long-term relationship with the community can be fostered by not crashing into it.
Slime: Slime and carpets do, in fact, go together. They go together so well as to be inextricable of one-another. Please, do not bring slime to the masjid.
Gum: Please, for the love of everyone’s socks, no gum.
Toy Guns, Play-weapons: It should go without saying. And yet, I have seen nerf guns, foam swords, and toy guns in masjid. Apart from the basic indoor etiquette of not sword-fighting, nor launching projectiles in a house of worship, please be sensitive. No one wants to see guns in their masjid.
Non-parent tip: If children playing near you are making “too much noise” smile and find another place to sit if possible. It is not always possible to ignore or move away from disruptions, but glaring, eye-rolling, and making tsk-tsk sounds is not likely to effect long-term change in either the child’s behavior or the parents’ strategic abilities. At best, you will embarrass the parents. At worst, you will push families away from the faith and the community while confirming the opinion that masjids are full of cranky, impatient people who wish kids didn’t exist in the masjid while criticizing Muslim youth for not being there.
Avoid Electronics. But if you can’t…
I am prefacing this suggestion with a disclaimer. Habitually putting your child on a smartphone or tablet so that you can “enjoy” the masjid without the “hassle” of you making sure they behave properly is not good parenting. A child being physically present but mentally absent in the masjid is not a long-term strategy that any parent should get behind.
Having said that, if you do give your kids a tablet or phone in the masjid, please disable Youtube and bring over-ear headphones.
Do not rely on YouTube Kids to take responsibility for your child’s content choices either. Long after Baby Shark has sunk to the depths of the internet, there will always be loud, inappropriate, or just plainly distracting and disturbing things that your child can access on it.
Instead of relying on Youtube at all, install child-friendly apps that you know won’t have external links embedded in their ads, and won’t lead to inadvertent, inappropriate viewing in case your child – or my child sitting next to them – click out of their app and into the great wide world. I highly recommend anything from the Toca Boca suite of apps.
Non-parent tip: If you see a child on a tablet, do not lecture their parent. As a special needs parent, there are times when I too allow my autistic son onto a tablet to prevent a meltdown or try to get just 15 more minutes out of him so I can finish attending a class. Do not automatically assume laziness or incompetence on behalf of parents whose children you see on an electronic device.
Reward for Success, in this life and the next
You show up in the masjid because you hope for a reward from Allah. As an adult, you have the ability to delay the gratification of this reward until well after you die. Your kids, however, don’t.
Motivate your kids with small rewards for small accomplishments as you remind them of the reward that Allah has for them too. You can choose to reward a child after every two rakah, or after every two days. How often you reward them, and what you choose to reward them for depends on their age and their capabilities.
Make dua for your kids when you reward them. If they get a small handful of gummy bears after a good evening at the masjid, pair it with a reminder of the bigger reward too.
“Here’s the ice cream I promised you for doing awesome in the masjid today. May Allah grant you mountains of ice cream in Jannah so big you can ski down them. Ameen.”
Non-parent tip: It’s not your job to discipline the children of others, but you can help praise them. Randomly compliment kids who are sitting nicely, sharing toys, playing quietly, or wearing cute headgear. Their parents will likely not mind.
Reinforce the rules – but define them first.
“Be Good In the Masjid” is a vastly different instruction depending on who you’re instructing. For a teenager, praying with the congregation is reasonable. For a two-year-old, not climbing the congregation is reasonable.
Define your rules and frame them in a positive context that your children can remember. Remind them of what they’re supposed to be doing rather than calling them out for what they are not. For example, no running in the masjid vs. please walk in the masjid.
Avoid saying this:
Try saying this instead:
|Stay out of my purse||Please use the toys in your bag|
|Don’t draw on the walls||Crayons only on the paper|
|No yelling||Please use your “inside” voice|
|No food on the carpet||Please have your snack in the hallway|
|Don’t run off||Stay where I can see you, which is from [here] to [here.]|
|No peeing the carpet||We’re taking a potty break now, and we’ll go again after the 4th rakah’.|
|No hitting||Hands nicely to yourself.|
While it might look like semantics, putting your energy into “To-Do’s” versus the “To-Don’ts” has long-term benefits. If your child is going to hear the same thing from you a hundred times before they get it right, you can help them by telling them what the right thing is. Think of the difference between the To-Do statement “Please use a tissue,” versus the To-Don’t statement of “Don’t pick your nose.” You can tell you kid a hundred times not to pick his or her nose, but if you never tell them to use a tissue, you’re missing the opportunity to replace bad behavior with its functional alternative.
Plan for Failure
Kids don’t walk the first time they try. They won’t sit nicely the first time you ask them to either. Decide what your exact plan is in case you have to retreat & regroup for another day.
- How much noise is too much? Do your kids know what you expect of them?
- Where are the physical boundaries you want your kids to remain in? Do they know what those boundaries are?
- For kids too small to recognize boundaries, how far are you ok with a little one toddling before you decide that the potential danger may not be worth it?
- Talk to your spouse or other children and get everyone on board. Being on the same page can look like different things according to different age groups. A plan of action can be “If we lose Junior Ibn Abu, we’re taking turns in prayer,” or “If you kick the Imam again, we’re all going home.”
- If your child is too small, too rowdy, or too grumpy to sit quietly at the masjid, please take turns with your spouse. The masjid is a sweet spiritual experience that both parents should be able to enjoy, even if that means taking turns.
Don’t Give up
If you find yourself frustrated with being unable to enjoy the masjid the way you did before your child starting sucking on prayer rugs, remember this:
Raising your children with love and patience is an act of worship, even if it’s not the act of worship you thought you were coming to the masjid for. No matter what your expectations are of them – or how far they are from meeting them – the ultimate goal is for your child to love Allah and love the House of Allah.
When they get things right, praise them and reward them, and remind them that Allah’s reward is coming too. When they get it wrong, remind them and forgive them, and don’t give up. The only way children learn to walk is by falling down over, and over, and over again.
Avoiding the masjid because your kids don’t behave correctly is like not allowing them to walk because they keep falling down. The key is to hold their hand until they get it right, and maintain close supervision until you can trust them to manage on their own, InshaAllah.
What Does Sharia Really Say About Abortion in Islam
Abortion is not a simple option of being pro-life or pro-choice, Islam recognizes the nuance.
The following article on abortion is based on a research paper titled ‘The Rights of the Fetus in Islam’, at the Department of Sharia at Qatar University. My team and I presented it to multiple members of the faculty. It was approved by the Dean of the Islamic Studies College, an experienced and reputed Islamic authority.
In one swoop, liberal comedian Deven Green posing as her satirical character, Mrs. Betty Brown, “America’s best Christian”, demonized both Sharia law as well as how Islamic law treats abortion. Even in a debate about a law that has no Muslim protagonist in the middle of it, Islam is vilified because apparently, no problem in the world can occur without Islam being dragged into it.
It is important to clarify what Sharia is before discussing abortion. Sharia law is the set of rules and guidelines that Allah establishes as a way of life for Muslims. It is derived from the Qur’an and the Sunnah, which is interpreted and compiled by scholars based on their understandings (fiqh). Sharia takes into account what is in the best interest for individuals and society as a whole, and creates a system of life for Muslims, covering every aspect, such as worship, beliefs, ethics, transactions, etc.
Muslim life is governed by Sharia – a very personal imperative. For a Muslim living in secular lands, that is what Sharia is limited to – prayers, fasting, charity and private transactions such as not dealing with interest, marriage and divorce issues, etc. Criminal statutes are one small part of the larger Sharia but are subject to interpretation, and strictly in the realm of a Muslim country that governs by it.
With respect to abortion, the first question asked is:
“Do women have rights over their bodies or does the government have rights over women’s bodies?”
The answer to this question comes from a different perspective for Muslims. Part of Islamic faith is the belief that our bodies are an amanah from God. The Arabic word amanah literally means fulfilling or upholding trusts. When you add “al” as a prefix, or al-amanah, trust becomes “The Trust”, which has a broader Islamic meaning. It is the moral responsibility of fulfilling one’s obligations due to Allah and fulfilling one’s obligations due to other humans.
The body is one such amanah. Part of that amanah includes the rights that our bodies have over us, such as taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally – these are part of a Muslim’s duty that is incumbent upon each individual.
While the Georgia and Alabama laws in the United States that make abortion illegal after the 6-week mark of pregnancy are being mockingly referred to as “Sharia Law” abortion, the fact is that the real Sharia allows much more leniency in the matter than these laws do.
First of all, it is important to be unambiguous about one general ruling: It is unanimously agreed by the scholars of Islam that abortion without a valid excuse after the soul has entered the fetus is prohibited entirely. The question then becomes, when exactly does the soul enter the fetus? Is it when there is a heartbeat? Is it related to simple timing? Most scholars rely on the timing factor because connecting a soul to a heartbeat itself is a question of opinion.
The timing then is also a matter of ikhtilaf, or scholarly difference of opinion:
One Hundred and Twenty Days:
The majority of the traditional scholars, including the four madhahib, are united upon the view that the soul certainly is within the fetus after 120 days of pregnancy, or after the first trimester.
This view is shaped by the following hadith narrated by Abdullah bin Masood :
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إن أحدكم يجمع خلقه في بطن أمه أربعين يوما ثم يكون في ذلك علقة مثل ذلك ثم يكون في ذلك مضغة مثل ذلك ثم يرسل الملك فينفخ فيه الروح..
“For every one of you, the components of his creation are gathered together in the mother’s womb for a period of forty days. Then he will remain for two more periods of the same length, after which the angel is sent and insufflates the spirit into him.”
The exception to the above is that some scholars believe that the soul enters the fetus earlier, that is after the formation phase, which is around the 40 days mark of pregnancy.
This view is based on another hadith narrated by Abdullah bin Masood :
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إذا مر بالنطفة إثنتان وأربعون ليلة بعث الله إليها ملكاً، فصوره، وخلق سمعها وبصرها وجلدها ولحمها وعظمها…
“If a drop of semen spent in the womb forty-two nights, Allah sends an angel to it who depicts it and creates its ears, eyes, skin, flesh and bones.”
Between the two views, the more widespread and popular opinion is the former, which is that the soul enters the fetus at the 120 days (or 4 months) mark, as the second hadith implies the end of the formation period of the fetus rather than the soul entering it.
Even if one accepts that the soul enters the fetus at a certain timing mark, it does not mean that the soul-less fetus can be aborted at any time or for any reason. Here again, like most matters of Islamic jurisprudence, there is ikhtilaf of scholarly difference of opinion.
No Excuse Required:
The Hanafi madhhab is the most lenient, allowing abortion during the first trimester, even without an excuse.
Some of the later scholars from the Hanafi school consider it makruh or disliked if done without a valid reason, but the majority ruled it as allowed.
Only Under Extreme Risks:
The Malikis are the most strict in this matter; they do not allow abortion even if it is done in the first month of pregnancy unless there is an extreme risk to the mother’s health.
As for the Shafi’i and Hanbali schools of thought, there are multiple opinions within the schools themselves, some allowing abortion, some only allowing it in the presence of a valid excuse.
Valid excuses differ from scholar to scholar, but with a strong and clear reason, permissibility becomes more lenient. Such cases include forced pregnancy (caused by rape), reasons of health and other pressing reasons.
For example, consider a rape victim who becomes pregnant. There is hardly a more compelling reason (other than the health of the mother) where abortion should be permitted. A child born as a result in such circumstances will certainly be a reminder of pain and discomfort to the mother. Every time the woman sees this child, she will be reminded of the trauma of rape that she underwent, a trauma that is generally unmatched for a woman. Leaving aside the mother, the child himself or herself will lead a life of suffering and potentially neglect. He or she may be blamed for being born– certainly unjust but possible with his or her mother’s mindset. The woman may transfer her pain to the child, psychologically or physically because he or she is a reminder of her trauma. One of the principles of Sharia is to ward off the greater of two evils. One can certainly argue that in such a case where both mother and child are at risk of trauma and more injustice, then abortion may indeed be the lesser of the two.
The only case even more pressing than rape would be when a woman’s physical health is at risk due to the pregnancy. Where the risk is clear and sufficiently severe (that is can lead to some permanent serious health damage or even death) if the fetus remained in her uterus, then it is unanimously agreed that abortion is allowed no matter what the stage of pregnancy. This is because of the Islamic principle that necessities allow prohibitions. In this case, the necessity to save the life of the mother allows abortion, which may be otherwise prohibited.
This is the mercy of Sharia, as opposed to the popular culture image about it.
Furthermore, the principle of preventing the greater of two harms applies in this case, as the mother’s life is definite and secure, while the fetus’ is not.
Absolutely Unacceptable Reason for Abortion:
Another area of unanimous agreement is that abortion cannot be undertaken due to fear of poverty. The reason for this is that this mindset collides with having faith and trust in Allah. Allah reminds us in the Quran:
((وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ خَشْيَةَ إِمْلَاقٍ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُهُمْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ قَتْلَهُمْ كَانَ خِطْئًا كَبِيرًا))
“And do not kill your children for fear of poverty, We provide for them and for you. Indeed, their killing is ever a great sin.” (Al-Israa, 31)
Ignorance is not an excuse, but it is an acceptable excuse when it comes to mocking Islam in today’s world. Islam is a balanced religion and aims to draw ease for its adherents. Most rulings concerning fiqh are not completely cut out black and white. Rather, Islamic rulings are reasonable and consider all possible factors and circumstances, and in many cases vary from person to person.
Abortion is not a simple option of being pro-life or pro-choice. These terms have become political tools rather than sensitive choices for women who ultimately suffer the consequences either way.
Life means a lot more than just having a heartbeat. Islam completely recognizes this. Thus, Islamic rulings pertaing to abortion are detailed and varied.
As a proud Muslim, I want my fellow Muslims to be confident of their religion particularly over sensitive issues such as abortion and women’s rights to choose for themselves keeping the Creator of Life in focus at all times.
Why I Turned to Tech to Catch Laylatul Qadr
Make sure you maximize your sadaqah
My life, just like yours, is sooo busy. So naturally, as the tech nerd I am, I turn to tech to help me manage my regular routine including project management apps to manage my daily tasks. I even have a sleeping app that wakes me up at the optimum time (whatever that means!). But even though tech has changed everything in all sectors and helped make efficiencies in my daily life, it had had little impact on my religious activities.
A few years ago, whilst I was preparing for the last 10 nights of Ramadan, it hit me – why doesn’t something exist that automates my donations during these blessed nights to catch Laylatul Qadr. Rather than putting a reminder on my phone to bring out my bank card every night and inputting it into a website – why doesn’t something exist that does it for me, solving the problem of me forgetting to donate. After all we are human and it’s interesting that the Arabic word for human being is ‘insan’ which is derived from the word ‘nasiya’ which means ‘to forget.’ It is human nature to forget.
So the techie in me came out and I built the first scrappy version of MyTenNights, a platform to automate donations in the last 10 nights of Ramadan (took two weeks) because I wanted to use it myself! I thought it would be cool and my friends and family could use it too. That same year, nearly 2000 other people used it – servers crashed, tech broke and I had to get all my friends and Oreo (my cat) to respond to email complaints about our temperamental site!
I quickly realised I wasn’t alone in my need – everyone wanted a way to never miss Laylatul Qadr! Two years down the line we’ve called it MyTenNights, and our team has grown to 10, including Oreo, senior developers, QA specialists, brand strategists, creative directors and more. It fast became a fierce operation – an operation to help people all over the world catch Laylatul Qadr!
Last year alone we raised almost $2 million in just 10 days – and that was just in the UK. We’ve now opened MyTenNights to our American, Canadian. South African and Australian brothers and sisters and we’re so excited to see how they use it! We’ve made it available through all the biggest house name charities – Islamic Relief, Muslim Aid, Helping Hand, Penny Appeal, you name it! All donations go directly to the charity donors choose – all 100% of it.
Looking back at the last couple of years – it feels surreal: The biggest charities in the world and tens of thousands of users who share my need to be certain they’ve caught Laylatul Qadr. Although I hear many impressed with the sheer amount MyTenNights has raised for charity (and that excites me too!), it’s not what motives me to go on. What excites me most is the growing number of people who catch Laylatul Qadr because we made it easier.
I often tell my team that the number of people that use MyTenNights is the only metric we care about, and the only metric we celebrate. It makes no difference to us whether you donate $1 or a million – we just want you to catch Laylatul Qadr and for you to transform your Akhirah, because (after Allah) we helped you do it.
Ismael Abdela is a Law & Anthropology graduate from the London School of Economics. He spent some years studying Islamic Sciences in Qaseem, Saudi Arabia. He is now a keen social entrepreneur. Ismael likes to write about spiritual reflections, social commentary, and tafsīr. He is particularly interested in putting religion in conversation with the social sciences.
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