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7 Steps: Defeating Depression

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Torn between seeking medical or religious advice to #DefeatDepression?

Dr Muhammad Wajid Akhter says: you don’t have to choose.

“In my role as a general practitioner and previously having worked in acute mental health units, I have seen the profound toll that depression can take on individuals and families. This is especially sad because it is a very treatable condition. This webinar will combine medical and spiritual solutions to help us all begin to #DefeatDepression.”

Dr Wajid is a medical tutor and a founding member of the Faculty of Medical Leadership & Management. He is also the founder of, and current board of advisors member to Charity Week for Orphans and needy children. www.onecharityweek.com.

Leave your questions and comments below for our Q&A session. Any questions that cannot be answered today will be collected and considered for future sessions and posts, insha’Allah.

 

41 Comments

41 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Rahana

    November 14, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    How do you explain to family members how you’re feeling if you don’t understand it yourself?

    What if nobody has noticed that you are depressed and instead think you are just being an annoying person and they don’t try to understand why you are being the way you are or that it’s a cry for help, that it’s scary for you and you are having a hard time dealing with just about everything in life at present?

    What if every day is a struggle, from waking up and forcing yourself to get up and out of bed, to dealing with household chores whilst looking after small children?

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:23 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      What you seem to describe is someone who may be sliding into depression (or is already depressed) but both her and her family are struggling to come to terms with this. It is worth having an open and frank discussion explaining how you feel and that you don’t want to feel this way anymore.

      It may take time. They may not accept or understand at first…. But do not give up.

      Then I would advise seeking help locally –> From an Imam you trust, from relatives or friends who DO understand what you are going through and from the medical community.

      Remember, you will get better inshaAllah. The only question is how long it will take.

  2. Avatar

    D.S.

    November 14, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    I would like to talk to someone but am ashamed to because I don’t want my family to think that there’s something wrong with me. But I don’t want to talk to a traditional American mental health professional because they don’t have any insight into Islam, and might blame it as the cause of my problems. Are there any options for me?

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:30 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      There are always options inshaAllah.

      Regarding your family – they may already sense that there is something wrong. Many people worry about their family reaction, but no one in the world cares more for you and your health like your family does. They are the people most likely to help, even if they don’t understand or accept first.

      Regarding non-Muslim mental health professionals – being a professional means that they should not belittle the faith or culture of their patients while treating them. If they did so, they would likely get into trouble. You’ll be amazed at how far non-Muslim professionals may go out of their way to avoid showing any disrespect to our faith. I would not let this be a barrier. However, there are many Muslim mental health professionals around too. But do not discount a helper because of their faith, just like they should not discount a patient due to theirs.

      In the end, the person who has to do most of the hard work is yourself. Everyone else is their to help.

    • Avatar

      Amir

      November 19, 2015 at 10:45 PM

      Why not take a look at http://www.educatedanxiety.com. I started this to be a community of people dealing with anxiety and depression issues, from a muslim perspective. I have been suffering a lot, and I want to come together where we can eventually establish a solid community, and provide some avenues of relief.

      • WAJiD

        WAJiD

        November 23, 2015 at 6:21 AM

        Walaikum asalaam,

        Such self help groups and websites are a real treasure MashaAllah. It is an important and vital tool in the arsenal of weapons to overcoming / living with mental health issues.

  3. Avatar

    R

    November 14, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    My marriage is suffering. It’s so hard for my husband and children but I do not know what to do about it :(

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:33 PM

      Walaikum asalaam sister,

      I feel for you. I really do. That one sentence contains oceans of sadness.

      My advice is simple and easy.

      Seek help.

      For the sake of your marriage, your children and yourself… seek help.

      Seek help from a local Imam who will be able to guide you spiritually through the difficulty,
      seek help from your friends and family who understand what you are going through,
      seek help from the medical professionals (therapists/ doctors) who will be able to help.

      May Allah protect your family and bring back happiness to your lives.

  4. Avatar

    R

    November 14, 2015 at 1:18 PM

    That is exactly what some people think, that I’m not grateful for what I have!!!

    I am suffering from so much pain in my body, I can’t do a lot of the things I used to be able to and I am so frustrated, mainly with myself, which then leads me to take it out on those who are closest to me. My illness/illnesses are so bad, which then manifests itself as an ugly, hideous person that even I don’t want to be around.

    I have changed so much! I’ve become anti social, angry and frustrated. Everything is so difficult for me to do on a daily basis. I need help! It’s destroying my family!

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:39 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      Chronic pain and frustration can often lead to depression. And you are right, this is NOT you. This is a disease and it can make you behave in ways that do not reflect who you are.

      If it is difficult for you to understand how and why this happened, imagine how much more difficult for the outsider to do so. This is where unhelpful comments like the ones you mentioned come from.

      You have already done the hard part. You have accepted that you “need help.” Now, get that help, take that help and start the first steps towards defeating the depression.

      I would advise getting help from your local medical professional, your local imam and your friends and family. Like I said, you will beat it inshaAllah. It is only a matter of time.

  5. Avatar

    Zainab

    November 14, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    as salamu ‘alaikum. I am currently on sertraline for anxiety/depression. I tried to do without it for some time, using natural methods…exercise, diet etc. It has helped a lot, and I am now able to work on thinking positively when before I couldn’t even focus…no appetite, no sleeping, forgetful, bored of life.

    Alhamdulillah I am glad I went for the medicine, though reluctantly. Now my question is, what should I do when weaning off the medication in 4 months to not fall back into the condition…what kind of support from others, activities should I partake in to keep myself in the direction of healing…

    jazak Allah khair

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 23, 2015 at 6:30 AM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      In terms of weaning off (it is actually very simple to do so) I would recommend that you do this when your doctor advises you it is the right time. He or she will be an objective 3rd party and can be frank with you. I personally like to leave the medication for a little longer to be sure that we didn’t wean off too early. My senior colleagues would advise me that it is better to wean off during the spring as most people feel naturally more positive in the summer and have more to look forward to.

      With regards to what you can do to cement the recovery, it is very personal to yourself. Counselling and psychotherapy is very good, but changes in your lifestyle (exercising, having a break in the week, planning a holiday etc…) are also useful.

  6. Avatar

    M

    November 14, 2015 at 1:56 PM

    Jazak Allah Khair for this brother, may Allah bless you! You have no idea how much this helped!
    I have noticed sometimes it’s the family that might be a cause behind one’s depression. Family is your first line of defense, it can make or break you. But what if it’s your family that the reason behind your biggest problem? How should one deal with it?

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 23, 2015 at 6:37 AM

      wa iyakki. thank you for your kind words.

  7. Avatar

    someone

    November 14, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Is it okay to use medical marjuana as a form of relief from depression?

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:45 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      I am not a faqih, but as a medical doctor – the current view is that Marijuana (medicinal or not) is actually more likely to cause depression, paranoia, schizophrenia and many other mental health disorders.

      This is the guidance from the Royal College of Psychiatry in the UK:
      http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/cannabis.aspx

  8. Avatar

    zainab fida ahsan

    November 14, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Q. Any naseeha for someone wanting to overcome procrastination but seems to be getting back to square one quite often?

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:50 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      This is not strictly a mental health question, so the answer is my own personal view.

      Procrastination is common and sometimes the way of the mind getting you to take a mental time out…. but it can also be the luxury of those who have no goal in life or no urgency to reach it.

      If you find yourself procrastinating often, then either get a goal (if you do not have one), change it (if you do have one and it doesn’t inspire you to apply yourself) or change how you try and reach it.

  9. Avatar

    S

    November 14, 2015 at 2:03 PM

    I am depressed but I feel I have to hide it because family don’t understand and don’t want to help.

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 3:02 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      I don’t know your specific situation so it is difficult to give advice. However, often we misjudge our family. They are the ones most likely to help and most able to help too.

      Hiding it is also difficult to do because they often know that something is wrong.

      But they may be scared on how to bring it up or make it a big deal and you may be scared how they will react.

      In any case, I would ask you to seek help locally inshaAllah and your local imam, therapist or doctor will be able to help you bridge the gap inshaAllah.

  10. Avatar

    E

    November 14, 2015 at 2:09 PM

    Thank you so much!
    May Allah reward you

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 23, 2015 at 6:41 AM

      you’re welcome. jazakAllah khairun for your duaa

  11. Avatar

    A.S

    November 14, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    I would like to talk to someone about my issues. Can you recommend someone in Atlanta, GA?

    Thanks

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 14, 2015 at 2:53 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      Unfortunately I don’t know anyone there. The likelihood is that someone in your community will be able to point you in the right direction much better than someone outside it.

      Just like when we go on holiday, you pay much more attention to the views of the locals about a restaurant and that of other tourists – similarly people in Atlanta who have experienced depression and got better will be able to recommend a counsellor /therapist/ medic/ community worker.

      I pray that you find the best people to help you, and in the end you overcome it yourself anyway.

      • Avatar

        A.S

        November 14, 2015 at 3:19 PM

        I am REALLY REALLY impressed by your prompt responses.

  12. Avatar

    Anonymous

    November 14, 2015 at 5:32 PM

    I think I’m Bi-Polar. I’ve self diagnosed myself couple of times and most results indicate that I’m extremely Bi-Polar. My mind keeps toggling everyday, I’ve a thousand thoughts racing on my mind and I’m unable to take and make any decisions. My condition sometimes makes me overly Islamic and sometimes close to being a bare minimum Muslim. I’m totally awkward and a big loser. I keep comforting myself that since I’m mentally sick, I don’t have to achieve and this also results in me having low self esteem and terribly low confidence. Many times I’ve also had suicidal thoughts, I’ve inflicted myself with wounds through sharp stuff.

    What’s the Islamic ruling on Bi-Polar? And do I seek medication? Alhamdulillah, I’m technically very sharp and also an Entrepreneur (having worked as an IT Engineer for many year).

    My mental illness is killing me terribly and making me a loner that sits glued to my PC, or smoking to release out my anger or frustration of not succeeding well (or whatever).

    Your insights would be of great help.

    JazakaAllah.
    Anonymous Bi-Polar

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 16, 2015 at 4:01 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      I cannot speak of Islamic rulings as I am not a faqih. All I will say that fluctuations in Iman are not a sign of bipolar though and are natural to an extent.

      And I think it would be unwise of me to diagnose you virtually and also for you to self-diagnose yourself.

      There is one thing I can say for certain from your comments – you need help so that you can get an accurate diagnosis and help to overcome this disease.

      Seek help from a doctor/ psychiatrist/ therapist regarding your symptoms and begin the process of defeating it. Believe me, the number one thing most people say once they recover is that they wish they had sought help sooner.

      Just take the first step inshaAllah. I hope this is of some benefit.

      • Avatar

        Anonymous

        November 16, 2015 at 5:59 PM

        JazakaAllah Khair for your reply. I’ll go consult a Psychiatrist InShaAllah.

  13. Avatar

    nana

    November 17, 2015 at 7:56 AM

    As salamu ‘alaikum
    Glad that I stumbled upon this articles. I’m so depressed with my assignments and final year project. I’ve tried to do it little by little but seems like it doesn’t works at all. I have more than 15 assignments that needs to be submit on next week, research
    presentation and mid term test. I feel like I can’t do anything at all. I’m trying my best to get it done as soon as possible but I feel like this is just too much for me to handle. I can’t rest at all. I’ve been sleeping only for 2 hours this past weeks but still I can’t finish it at all. and the worst thing is I found myself in a constant grief. idk why but my chest feels so stuffy. I can’t concentrate while perform my prayers. I just can’t stop thinking about my undone works. Some people may think that this is just a trivial matters as a student but this is indeed something bigger for me. It’s not just that, I have a problem with my family too. Losing my father is not an easy thing to deal with.

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 17, 2015 at 11:00 AM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      SubhanAllah – a hectic assignment schedule and the loss of your father is enough to make anyone feel low.

      I have a few recommendations that may or may not be useful:

      – The best way to devour a whale is one bite at a time. Don’t look at the 15 assignments that you have but the 1 that you have in front of you

      – Prioritise your assignments in order of most important or due the soonest

      – Escalate early. If the number of assignments are beyond your ability complete, an email to a tutor or anyone else with pastoral responsibility for you to highlight this may help them give you an extension

      However, it is difficult to judge whether you are under stress due to the situation you are in, or whether something more long term is at play. If, after you finish this busy period, you still find yourself with that “stuffiness” in your chest and you do not feel much better – seek help. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a teacher or family member … take that step.

      May Allah make your affairs easy for you.

  14. Avatar

    LAILAM

    November 17, 2015 at 9:16 AM

    ASWR
    CURE FOR DEPRESSION
    I WAS DEPRESSED FOR 36years TAKEN LOADS OF MEDICATION WHICH USED TO MAKE ME MORE DROWSY COULD NOT CONCENTRATE ON MY SALAT LOST INTEREST IN EVERY THING
    RAMADAAN 2014
    FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I PRAYED TAHAJUD BEFORE SUHUUR
    I CRIED SO MUCH TO ALLAH SWT TO CHANGE MY LIFE
    TO CONTINUE PRAYING NIGHT PRAYER PLUS READ AND UNDERSTAND QURAN
    AND TO FAST EVERY TUESDAY AND THURSDAY
    MAKE ZIKR ALL DAY
    ALLAHAMDULLA THIS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE COMPLETELY
    ALL MEDICATION GONE IN THE BIN
    WHEN I CANT SLEEP I JUST READ THE GLORIOUS QURAN
    THATS WHERE ALL THE CURES COME FROM

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 17, 2015 at 11:25 AM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      MashaAllah, this is wonderful to hear. Of course, who would disagree that the shifaa and cure is from Allah and that the Quran and the remembrance of Allah gives peace?

      However, I would say that just because medications were not part of the solution for you does not mean that they won’t be for others. There is nothing wrong with the medication inherently and (according to research and their chemical properties) they do not make people drowsy, lose interest in things or lose concentrations. In fact, those are the clinical features of depression that you are describing.

      In any case, I am very happy that you have got better without medication but that does not mean others will not benefit from them.

  15. Avatar

    Noork

    November 17, 2015 at 9:52 AM

    I had a question about people suffering from mental illnesses that may have confused their situation with black magic and are therefore unable to face the fact that they are suffering from a mental illness, what advice would you give to help someone see their situation for what it is. Thank you.

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 17, 2015 at 11:28 AM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      In Islam, the existence of black magic is real. So is the possibility of it affecting human beings in certain circumstances.

      However, it would be a tragedy to confuse a mental health illness (which is far more common being one of the most prevalent form of illnesses on Earth) with the much rarer black magic.

      This is why it is important that if someone is confused which they or a loved one is suffering from, they will do well to see an Imam and a mental health professional. Between the two they will be able to advise accordingly.

  16. Avatar

    Shareen

    November 17, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    Allah is always with us. What we need is patience and completely trust over Allah. HE always has a big master plan but we people failed to understand that. I got depressed because my parents arranged my marriage many times but before any good thing happen there comes any disaster and spoiled my family’s dreams. Sometimes in depression I’d like to stop doing namaz . After that I realise how stupid I was and completely turned my mind,body towards Allah. Now Allah has gifted me a good man who respect me and we are gonna marry very soon. May Allah bless everyone with good mental and physical health.
    Jazakallah

  17. Avatar

    Aafia

    November 18, 2015 at 1:22 AM

    I really appreciate this webinar.
    I have an advice for my sisters:-Dear Sisters ,we will never be happy with our Marriage everytime.Life has its own ups and Down.Ignoring is the best Policy.The more you tell the People about your Problems and discuss about it,the more you would feel lost.One thing I remind myself in time of distress is-“The Price of all this little troubles in my life is Paradise.Allah has Promised Paradise to a Woman with whom his husband is Pleased.So,Naturally it is not easy to keep him pleased everytime otherwise Allah wouldn’t have Promised such a big thing to us if that was so easy.”Just smile and forget.Everything heals with time.

  18. Avatar

    MsDee

    November 18, 2015 at 8:40 AM

    Assalamualaikum wbt.

    R’s comments above could have been written about me. I have always suspected that I suffered from varying degrees of depression ever since I gave birth to my first child 8 years ago. It all started from really really bad postpartum which sadly, was exacerbated by my own family member, my mother. I believe I was so scarred from this that it carried over to my firstborn (I breastfed him throughout, and I have heard people say that our emotions carry to our child during nursing. No wonder my son is so emotionally vulnerable until today).

    From then, I think I have never been able to quite fully recover from my up up and down bouts of depression, and I have tried to deal with it as best I could. Of course, I never sought professional help because of the stigma and because I was made to believe (by myself and others who were well-meaning) that it was all in my mind and I was allowing my emotions to take control of my life.

    The sad thing is that I often take out my frustrations on my closest family members – my children and my husband. I have no family support save for my husband (I swore after my experience with my mother after my first child that I would never seek help from her again, and she isn’t complaining). Instead my family (parents and sibling) load me with their problems with no regard as to how I feel, so I often feel like I’m sinking or even slowly and painfully sliding into madness. My husband is empathic as best as he can be, but he’s just human, and when the battle is between me and him, he tells me that it’s all up to me and I just need to get a grip of myself. He doesn’t understand that I want to but I can’t. That has always been the crux of our fights during our marriage, especially after my first child.

    And then recently was the worst. I have been put on some medication to lower my estrogen levels for medical reasons and that has wreaked havoc with my hormones. Less than 1 month into it and I have slid into the very pits of hell. This has been a very testing couple of weeks because whatever depressive (but suppressed) emotions I had before this are now manifesting themselves and I have little control over it. I have been consulting my obgyn on a few occasions since, and told her that I do not want anti-depressants, but it had been very difficult. And so I have been trying to find alternative ways to resolve this. Your webinar however, has made me feel a little less frightened about anti-depressants (at the back of my mind, I feel as if perhaps that may be the only thing that can work, but I tried to banish the thought).

    Finding people who understand and be supportive has also been very difficult, but my husband has a better idea now and is trying to do better at this. Other than him and one Muslimah sister whom I am very blessed to have in my life, that’s it. Rightfully that should be enough isn’t it, but I think at the back of my mind I still carry the heavy sadness that I could not find that support from my own parents and that they would either never believe it something if I were to tell them this, or they would not pay much heed to it as they are more focused on their own issues. I know that is also my great test as their daughter, but it does make the relationship a very difficult one to carry. :'(

    Pardon the lengthy comment. Your webinar struck a nerve, Masha’Allah.

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 18, 2015 at 4:18 PM

      Walaikum asalaam,

      SubhanAllah. So much suffering and so much strength.

      I am glad that the webinar helped you become a little less worried about medication, but remember – discuss with a specialist first if that is the best option or whether counselling is better or even both together.

      When it is your own family member that you feel has helped trigger the depression or exacerbated it, it can be very difficult. However, for good mental health – I would always advocate rebuilding relationships especially within the family. It can be through small and simple steps and it may take some time, but it is important. I believe this is one of the reasons that the Prophet (SAW) forbade cutting off ties of kinship.

      Remember, depression and low mood is not a once in a lifetime experience. Like chest infections or broken legs, you may get it again but the important thing to remember is that YOU WILL GET BETTER again inshaAllah. This is not me that is saying this, but Allah says this in the Quran and any mental health professional will tell you this as well.

      • Avatar

        MsDee

        November 19, 2015 at 8:13 AM

        Jazakallahu khayr. I take great, great comfort in the fact that you took the trouble to reply to my comment. May Allah bless you for your efforts to help us, aameen.

  19. Avatar

    Amir

    November 19, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    My issues most recently have been with my relationship with Allah and Islam. I have fallen into the lowest point of depression, despair, over feeling rejected by Allah in my relationship with Islam. I am a full time Islamic studies student living in Saudi Arabia, and I am totally feeling rejected and demotivated to study because I have not found the comfort in Islam I once had, with so many confusions and demotivations, and an overall feeling of decline in religion to the point where I feel rejected and not good enough, even for Allah. the fact that the Quran provides cure is established, yet, I have never been more unhappy in my life just having Allah and trying to come closer to Him. Feeling pushed away, adds to my old beliefs that I am not good enough, no matter what I try or do. Also dealing with so much stress and pressure in religion, that I have felt like giving up completely because of all the stress.

    Anyways, I started a blog and community for sufferers dealing with anxiety and depression issues, from an Islamic perspective. http://www.educatedanxiety.com. Please join the community and I hope that we can start developing that community and help each other survive. Any imams or psychologists are welcome as well, to increase the help and support would be a great thing.

    Counseling and Therapy gets to be expensive, and I feel that having this avenue will do wonders for us.

    • WAJiD

      WAJiD

      November 25, 2015 at 2:19 PM

      Asalaam alaikum brother Amir,

      I would like to make a point that I also made in the webinar – be careful of turning your low mood into a spiritual crisis. Us Muslims, we are spiritual beings and many times we have a crisis in one area of our lives (our health, finances, relationships etc…) and we manage to transform it into a crisis of faith.

      It need not be that way.

      This is not to say that spiritual crises exist. They obviously do. However, if you are feeling low or flat – seek help from mental health professionals first and when you are better, then it will be interesting to see if those spiritually low feelings still are present.

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#Life

Chronicles of A Muslim Father: It All Began With a Prayer

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fathers, Muslim fathers

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Family, friends, neighbors, coaches, and teachers are all part of that community and the pillars of that system are the parents. Mothers specifically have and continue to make monumental contributions to this effort. But what about Muslim fathers?

There are thousands of blog posts and hundreds of books on the fundamentals of raising Muslim children in the current climate written by mothers across a diverse array of the spectrum. They have tackled issues that range from Aqiqa’s to matrimonials and beyond, but when I needed a fresh perspective on raising Muslim children by someone like me, a Muslim father, I could hardly find any readily available resources.

I don’t know if this is a cultural deviancy or just men in general, but we leave all the parenting to the mothers and justify skimming over our responsibilities in the name of “breadwinning”. Whatever the case may be, I am a person who is constantly looking for guidance so that I, as their father and the head of the household, can make the right moves for my kids morally, academically and socially.

Furthermore, I am convinced that there are thousands, if not millions of Muslim fathers, just like me looking for the same thing that are coming up empty handed just like I did.

It’s for this reason, with the help of Allah that I have endeavored to fill in this much-needed gap and compose this essential series that will be comprised of archives from my own experiences coupled with advice on best practices and pitfalls in raising Muslim children from a father’s perspective.  

I hope and pray that my work will be a source of guidance for both mothers and fathers on raising Muslim children, if not at the very least a catalyst for a call-to-action for fathers to assume their respective roles. May Allah guide all of us to be the best parents for our children and raise our children amongst the righteous to be the coolness of our eyes. 

Jameel Syed  

Hajj 2000- I find myself at the time of Tahujjud standing humbled with all my faults in front of the ancient house of Allah trying to collect myself under the shade of night, to muster up the courage to address my Lord in efforts to ask…

What makes me think my voice would reach Him amongst a legion of believers who have come to this place with their righteous deeds and all I have to offer Him are years ladened with transgressions? How do I ask? Where do I begin…

Standing at six feet, I began to shrink both in stature and in spirit. Tears began to swell up in my eyes as I stood as still as a statue. I truly felt more insignificant than the idea of the word “below” itself. As natural as rain falling from the sky to the ground, in one action I collapsed into prostration, embracing the ground as if it were life itself. There I remained for what seemed like an eternity— sometimes praising Him, other times asking for His forgiveness as my body shook uncontrollably with tears running a constant flow. I had no concept of my surroundings or that the world existed at all. In that moment in the darkness, I just felt it was me, Him and the appeal that I had to make. I knew that I had no right. It was not my place to ask and that I had come with nothing to offer, but there was no place else to go, nobody else to turn to. I maintained my sajdah for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, I summoned up my courage and brought the sentiments of my heart to my lips:

“Ya Allah pair me with a righteous wife who will give me righteous children.” 

At that moment, my prayers that were for me were for them. My tears flowed for them, whatever ramblings came from my mouth were for the unborn children that I have never met. If you think about it, it seemed foolish, so absurd, but in my bones, it felt so right. I didn’t even have a wife and there I was begging for righteous children. The truth in context was that I wanted something very special from the Treasury of His Majesty and I came to His House to humble myself to get it.

It was on the sound of the Fajr adhan that I finally arose from my prostration. My cheeks and kurta (shirt) wet with tears and all that was left was contemplation. It seemed as if I was transitioning into yet a different train of thought. 

I began to take account of who I am, what I wanted and what I needed to do. I didn’t know the first thing about being a husband or father. I didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes I made as a son. I wanted my children to have the best in this world and the next but didn’t have a clue on how to pave that path. I wanted to endeavor to strive to be at least as good as my own father and put my family first. In all honesty, as these thoughts began flooding my head, I felt totally helpless and totally overwhelmed. 

I knew that I would have to sacrifice, upgrade my character, prioritize to put the pleasure of Allah at the forefront of my thoughts and actions. This was a huge shift from how I lived my life for the past couple of decades. My time was mine, my money was mine and I impulsively chased my desires. All that had to change!

Change Brings Change

One thing did, however, make sense to me:

I thought to myself that if I laid down the track based upon my style of thinking, it would certainly be disastrous. I needed to consult with scholars and gather as much information as I could to construct a path in accordance with what Allah has prescribed to give myself a chance at achieving my dream.

This, I concluded, was what was needed to be done in order to ensure a chance of success. I felt resolute to act upon it. At that thought, the Muaddhin began to recite the Iqama and the entire ordeal concluded.

Six months later, I found myself in the living room of Dr. Ahmed Muneeruddin whose lineage goes back directly to AmĪr-ul-Mu’minīn, Umar Al-Farooq (May Allah be pleased with him). I was witness to one of the most profound events of my lifetime. My father (the late) Dr. Abdus-Salam Syed recited Khutbah Al-Haajah for the company that was present, which included immediate family from both sides. He then turned his attention to his host and began to declare with profound emotion:

“Praise to be Allah and blessings and peace be upon His final Prophet and Messenger Muhammad. I enjoin you to fear Allahﷻ. I have come to you to engage your noblest daughter Maria Muneeruddin to my son Jameel Abdul Syed in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet and the pleasure of Allah .” 

He then went on to conclude with Du’a for happiness, well being, prosperity, that the beginning and end of this affair should be on the straight path and that this union should bare righteous children in the future.

She was going to be the mother of my children

It is noteworthy that I had only known my future wife then for two weeks in total with no more than two physical meetings and a half a dozen phone calls.

She presented very strong qualities, which matched all of the qualifiers outlined by the Prophet: Beauty, wealth, status and religion. As most prospective couples do, we dialogued back and forth measuring each other up against our ideals, but truthfully my decision to pursue her at the end had little to do with any of her questions to my answers. Rather it was the fact that when I looked into her eyes, I saw the mother of my future children and I knew that no other woman on the face of this earth could hold that status for me. It was a feeling I knew to be true and the final criterion for my decision that I feel my heart was guided by Allahﷻ. The series of events that led to my engagement was idiosyncratic and unplanned. In my experience, when Allah wants something to happen, it happens rather quickly and arrives unannounced and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. 

Our marriage took place on July 1st, 2001 in Ontario, Canada. Shortly thereafter she became pregnant and learned that it was going to be a baby boy. Both of our families were elated. It was the first child of the next generation on both sides. We debated back and forth about the name until we finally reached a unanimous decision: Muhammad Jibril Syed. Maria constantly listened to Surah Al-Baqarah during her pregnancy and prayed for him during this eight-month period. My job was to keep her happy! 

On March 13th, 2002, Jibril had arrived at Crittenton Hospital in Rochester, Michigan honoring both Maria and me with the titles of parents. I gingerly picked up the boy and took him to my father who raised the adhan in his right ear and the iqama in his left as per the tradition of The Prophet. The feeling was indescribable. A feeling of pride, disbelief, elation. Maria felt the same, but she was obviously exhausted. The hospital was flooded with friends and family— it was total chaos. I had to escape, if only for a moment.

I broke away from the excitement and retreated to the hospitals chapel to pray. After prayer, I sat by myself in that room and reflected on how I got to this point. That prayer I made during Tahajjud in front of the Kaabah. It was the beginning of my journey into fatherhood. My heart softened and I began to cry. SubhanAllah, I thought to myself. “Just look at the plan of Allah. He didn’t turn a deaf ear to the pleas of a sinner that day. He’s given me so much in such a short period of time. I promised myself that I would not be an ungrateful slave. That I would honor the trust that He’s bestowed on me with this child and any other future children by devoting myself to try and raise them in accordance with His pleasure.

As I walked out of the chapel and back to my family, I thought to myself: “I wonder what he’s gonna call me…”

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Fall Apart: Be Weak to Find Strength in Allah

Hiba Masood

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Growing up in Jeddah, every evening in Ramadan, we would pile into our car and whiz off to the mosque for Taraweeh prayers to Shoaibi Mosque and spend a few spell-bound hours under the reassuring baritones of Sheikh Abdullah Basfar. His beautiful voice became the anthem of my childhood in many ways but more than his voice, it was the building of tradition and memory that became ingrained in my system. By doing the same thing, day in, day out, year in, year out, my parents gave us a sense of stability and predictability that set the tone for our entire adolescence.

How that rhythm seeped into the very bones of who I am is something I am still discovering well into adulthood.

Last night, standing in my grandmother’s garden in Karachi, I experienced my first Taraweeh Khatam-e-Quran since leaving my parents home in Jeddah so many years ago. It is also, incidentally, my first Ramadan without both my parents, who last year seemingly decided they would much rather be together in Jannah than spend more time in this rubbish world and in quick succession, returned to their Maker, leaving me understandably grieving, awash in memories, struggling to steer my ship.

And so it was, that by the time the imam reached Surah Qadr, I was chokey. By Surah Kawthar, I had tears streaming down my face. And by the time the last three surahs, the comforting Quls, began, I was openly sobbing. Probably more openly than what is considered socially appropriate…but honestly, I was restraining myself. Because what I actually felt like doing was throwing my head back and howling up at the sky. Thankfully, I was flanked by women who knew, who understood, who with tears in their own eyes, let me be with my heaving shoulders and a chest that felt it would crack open under the weight of my emotions.

As the imam had recited surah after surah and the end of the Quran had approached, the ghosts of Ramadan Past had flooded into me and my body had remembered. It had remembered years and years of experiencing that same excitement, that same sense of weight as Sheikh Abdullah Basfar gently and methodically guided us over the course of the month through the Book of all books, that same uplifting, heartbreaking, momentous trepidation of offering something up to Him with the hope that He would bestow something shining in return.

Had this Book been revealed to a mountain, the mountain would have crumbled. You get a tiny glimpse of that weight when you complete a khatam. Here I am, Allah, here I am, in my little hole-y dinghy, with my itty bitty crumbs of ibaadah. Pliss to accept?

Back in Jeddah, after the khatam, we would pile back in the car and go for ice cream. Last night in Karachi, after the khatam, the Imam gave a short talk and in it he mentioned how we are encouraged to cry when conversing with Allah. We should beg and plead and insist and argue and tantrum with Him because He loves to be asked again and again. We live in a world of appropriateness, political correctness, carefully curated social media feeds and the necessity of putting our best, most polished face forwards at all times. How freeing then, that when we turn to our Lord, we are specifically instructed to abandon our sense of control. All the facades and the curtains are encouraged to be dropped away and we stand stripped to our souls in front of Him. In other words, He loves it when we fall apart. Which is exactly what I had just done. 

Last night, I found myself wondering what exactly had I cried so hard over. Which tears were for Him and the desperate desire for His mercy? Which were for the loveliness of the Quran, the steadying rhythm of it, not just verse to verse but also, cover to cover? Which tears were for the already achey yearning of yet another Ramadan gone past? Which were for my breaking heart that has to soon face my first Eid day and all the days of my life without my beloved Mumma and Baba? Which tears were of gratitude that I get to stand on an odd night of the best time of the year, alongside some of my dearest people, in the courtyard of a house full of childhood memories, under the vast, inky, starry sky and standing there, I get to fall apart, freely, wholly, soul-satisfyingly?

And which tears were of a searingly humbling recognition, that I am so wildly privileged to have this faith of mine – the faith that promises if we navigate the choppy dunya waters right, we will be reunited with our loved ones in a beautiful, eternal place, that if we purposely, and repeatedly crumble under the weight of our belief in Him and His plans, our future is bright?

Today, I’m convinced that it doesn’t matter why I cried. Because here is what I do know:

1. “If Allah knows good in your hearts, He will give you better than what was taken from you…” (8:70)


2. “If Allah intends good for someone, then he afflicts him with trials.” Prophet Muhammad

3. “Wondrous is the affair of the believer for there is good for him in every matter and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, then he thanks Allah and thus there is good for him. If he is harmed, then he shows patience and thus there is good for him.” Prophet Muhammad

In losing my parents, I have drawn closer to Allah. And though I miss them dizzyingly, I am so thankful that through the childhood they gave me, through the anchoring to the Quran they gifted me with, through their own tears that I witnessed during those long-ago khatams in the Shoaibi Mosque in Jeddah, they left me with the knowledge that if in losing them, I have gained even an atom’s worth more of His pleasure, then that’s a pretty great bargain.

 

As a parent of three young ones myself, I’ve spent my days teaching my children: be strong, be strong, be strong. Stand tall, stay firm, be sturdy in the face of the distracting, crashing waves of the world. But now I know something just as important to teach them: be weak, be weak, be weak.

Crumble in front of Him, fall apart, break open so that His Light may enter and be the only thing to fill you. It’s not easy but it will be essential for your survival in the face of any loss, grief, trial and despair this world throws your way. It will help you, finger to tongue, always know which way the wind is blowing and which way to steer your ship. Straight in to the sun, always. To Jannah. Because how wondrous are the affairs of us Muslims that when it comes to our sorrows and our hopes, out there on the horizon of Allah’s wise plans, it all shimmers as one – The grief of what is, the memory of what was and brighter than both, the glittering, iridescent promise of what will be.

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A Word On Muslim Attitudes Toward Abortion

Dr Abdullah bin Hamid Ali

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The Qur’an describes Muslims committed to its mores as “a moderate nation,” and that sense of balance qualifies them to stand as “witnesses over humanity” (Q 2:143). Contemporary Muslims revel in this assertion, especially when it seems that “Islam” proposes a via media solution to a highly polarizing subject as abortion. What currently constitutes “Islam” on a given topic, however, often reflects the personal prerogative apparently offered to the average Muslim by a list of diverse legal perspectives. In other words, the mere fact that multiple legal opinions exist on one or more topics is now taken as license to appropriate any one of them, without any deep ethical reflection on the implications of the opinion, however anomalous it may be.

“Islam is the golden mean between all ethical extremes” is what certain Muslims would assert. So if one extreme bars abortion under all circumstances and the other seeks to allow it throughout the duration of the pregnancy, one would assume that Islam must land somewhere in the middle, both forbidding and allowing abortion in certain circumstances. This moral assumption isn’t far from the truth. However, the mere existence of multiple opinions on a topic does not mean that each opinion has equal validity, nor does it mean that every opinion is valid for one to adopt. Similarly, “Islam” or “Islamic law” cannot be summed up into a simple formula like “majority rules” or “when in doubt about prohibition or allowance, the action is, therefore, merely disliked.”

Legal positivism plagues both religious and secular-minded people. Just as an act does not acquire its moral strength simply because it is legal, morally appropriate opinions are not always codified into law. If it is true that any unjust law is no law at all, where is the injustice and to whom is it being perpetrated against in the debate between pro-lifers and pro-choicers? Is it deemed unjust to prevent a pregnant woman from disposing of an “insignificant lifeless part of her body” that no one other than herself should be able to decide what to do with? Or is one “depriving a helpless growing person” of the opportunity and right to exist after its Creator initiated its journey into the world? Does a law that prevents a woman impregnated by a family member or rapist from an abortion oppress her? Or does such a law protect the life of a vulnerable fetus, who, like other weak members of society, is expected to be protected by the strong? Does it do both or neither? And if one is taking the “life” of this fetus, what proof is there that it is a living creature?

While these are all extremely important questions, this missive is neither intended necessarily to answer them nor to resolve today’s raging political debate. The main goal here is to offer ideas that should be on the minds of Muslims when deciding to join such debates or promoting the idea that their “religion” provides the best solution to social polarization, when by “religion” we mean the opinion of a small minority of scholars in some place and time in Muslim history.

Islamic law is very sophisticated; the legislative process is not facile, nor is it a place where any Muslim is entitled to pragmatically select the opinions that he/she finds attractive and accommodating. It demands knowledge of particular aims, the ability to properly realize those aims in the lives of people, and understanding the epistemic and metaphysical foundations that ensure that judgments conform to coherent rationale. In other words, the laws of Islam and the opinions of jurists cannot be divorced from their philosophical and evidentiary underpinnings. Otherwise, the thread holding the moral tapestry of Islam together falls apart completely at its seams.

Is Abortion Lawful in Islam?

Many past and present have written about the Islamic view of abortion. The ancient scholars prohibited it at all stages of the pregnancy and made practically no exception. Some would later allow for it only if the mother’s life was in danger. That notwithstanding, six popular legal opinions exist regarding abortion:

  • Unlawful (haram), in all stages of the pregnancy.
  • Permitted (ja’iz), during the first 40 days but unlawful (haram) afterwards.
  • Disliked (makruh), before the passage of 40 days but unlawful (haram) afterwards.
  • Permitted (ja’iz), if it is from illicit intercourse (zina).
  • Permitted (ja’iz) without conditions, before 120 days.
  • Permitted only for a legitimate excuse.

The late mufti of Fez, Morocco, Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ta’wil (d. 2015) said,

The first opinion forbidding that during the [first] 40 [days] and beyond, regardless of whether or not it is due to an excuse, even if from illicit intercourse, is the view of the supermajority [of jurists].[1]

The Qur’an is a Book of Ethical Teaching

The reasons for the cavalier attitude among contemporary Muslims about abortion are multiple. The most significant reason may be that at times Islam is seen as a synonym for shariah. The truth, however, is that the shariah is only part of Islam. Islam covers law (fiqh), creed (aqidah), and ethics (akhlaq). Even though the Qur’an consists of laws, it is not a book of law. It is a book of ethical teachings. Merely 10%–12% of the Qur’an relates to legal injunctions. It is not characteristic of the Qur’an to enjoin upon Muslims to command what is “compulsory” or “recommended” and to forbid what is “unlawful” and “disliked.” What is common though is for it to command us to do what is “ma’ruf” and to avoid what is “munkar.”

“Ma’ruf” and “munkar” can be translated respectively as “what is socially commendable” and “what is socially condemnatory.” This is in spite of the fact that social acceptability and unacceptability are often subjective. This does not mean that the Qur’an is morally relativistic. It is quite the contrary. What this means, however, is that the Qur’an’s aim is not merely to teach Muslims what one can and cannot do. It means, rather, that the Qur’an has a greater concern with what Muslims “should” and “should not” do. For this very reason, the companions of the Prophet seldom differentiated between his encouragement and discouragement of acts by the juristic values of disliked, unlawful, recommended, and compulsory. Rather, if the Prophet encouraged something beneficial, they complied. And, if he discouraged from something potentially harmful, they refrained.

The Qur’an permits many actions. However, to permit an act is not equivalent to encouraging it. It permits polygyny (Q 4:3), the enslavement of non-Muslim war captives (Q 8:70), and marrying the sister of one’s ex-wife (Q 4:23). Similarly, some Muslim jurists validate marriage agreements wherein the man secretly intends to divorce the woman after a certain period of time known only to him.[2] This is the case, even though the average Muslim man is monogamous; practically no Muslim today believes it is moral to enslave a person; the vast majority of Muslims find the marriage of one’s sister-in-law upon the death of one’s wife to be taboo; and they chide men who marry with a temporary intention of marriage. If the mere existence of permission or legal opinion permitting a socially condemnable act is a legitimate reason to adopt it, why would Muslims be uneasy about these cases but inclined to take a different stance when it comes to abortion?

The proper Islamic position on any given issue of public or private concern should not only consider what the law or jurists have to say about the topic. Rather, one should also consider how theology and ethics connect with those laws or opinions. That is to say, one should ask, “What wisdom does God seek to realize from this injunction or opinion?” assuming that such a wisdom can be identified. Secondly, one need ask,

“Who and how many will be helped or harmed if this action is undertaken?”

The Qur’an is the primary source of Islam’s ethics. And, one often observes a major difference between its morality and the morality validated by certain jurists, often lacking a clear connection to Qur’anic and prophetic precepts. That notwithstanding, a juristic opinion can sometimes masquerade as one that is authentically Islamic, especially when it aims to appease or assuage a social or political concern. Consequently, one finds some contemporary scholars championing opinions simply­ because they exist, like that of mainstream Shafi’is who traditionally argued that the reason for jihad was to rid the world of unIslamic doctrines (kufr); or certain contemporaries who validated taking of the lives of innocent women, children, and other non-combatants in suicide bombings; those who endorsed the execution of Jews for converting to Christianity and vice versa;[3] or others who classified slaves as animals rather than human beings?[4] For, surely, there are Muslim jurists who validate each one of these opinions, despite their evidentiary weakness. Hence, simply because there is an opinion allowing for abortions does not necessarily mean that it is something Islam allows, even in cases of rape and incest.

When Does Life Begin?

Medieval Muslim scholars, naturally, lacked the scientific tools that we have today to determine whether or not the fetus growing in its mother’s womb was actually a viable creation and a living creature from conception. Other than when the fetus first showed signs of movement in its mother’s belly, scholars took their cues from the Qur’an and prophetic tradition on when the fetus possessed a soul or if it did so at all. For this reason, very few scholars have offered clear answers to the question of when human life begins, while they agreed that upon 120 days, the child is definitely a living person.

According to the Andalusian scholar of Seville, Ibn al-‘Arabi (d. 1148),

The child has three states: 1) one state prior to coming into [material] existence …, 2) a state after the womb takes hold of the sperm …, and 3) a state after its formation and before the soul is breathed into it …, and when the soul is breathed into it, it is the taking of a life. [5]

Al-Ghazzali (d. 1111) said,

Coitus interruptus (‘azl) is not like abortion and infanticide (wa’d) because it [abortion] is a crime against an actualized existence (mawjud hasil). And, it has stages, the first being the stage of the sperm entering into the womb, then mixing with the woman’s fluid, and then preparing for the acceptance of life. To disturb that is a crime. Then, if it becomes a clot (‘alaqah) or a lump (mudghah), the crime is more severe. Then, if the soul is breathed into it and the physical form is established, the crime increases in gravity. [6]

These are some of the most explicit statements from Medieval Muslim scholars; they deemed that life begins at inception. The Qur’an states, “Does man think that he will be left for naught (sudan)? Was he not a sperm-drop ejected from sexual fluid?” (75:36-37). In other words, the “sperm-drop” phase is the start of human existence, and existence is the basis for human dignity, as with other living creatures. The human being was a “sperm-drop.” If that is so, this strongly suggests that meddling with this fluid, even before the fetus begins to grow and develop limbs and organs, would be to violate the sanctity of a protected creature. The Qur’an further says, “Did We not create you from a despicable fluid? And then, We placed you in a firm resting place, until a defined scope” (Q 77:20-22). The use of the second person plural pronoun (you) in these verses strongly suggests that the start of human life begins at inception. This is not to mention the multiple verses forbidding one from killing one’s children due to poverty, fear of poverty, or out of shame or folly.

The Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) similarly offers sufficient indication that even though the fetus is not fully formed, it is still an actualized existence and living creature. The Prophet reportedly said, “The miscarried fetus will remain humbly lying with its face down at the gates of heaven saying, ‘I will only enter when my parents do.’”[7] Similarly, it is reported that when the second caliph ‘Umar b. al-Khattab ordered that an adulteress discovered to be pregnant be stoned to death, the companion, Mu’adh b. Jabal, said to him, “Even if you have a right to punish her, you do not have a right to punish what is in her belly.”[8] The Prophet and his followers after him never executed a pregnant woman guilty of a capital crime until she gave birth and someone had taken on the care of the child. In addition, they imposed a hefty fine on those who were directly responsible for a woman’s miscarriage.[9] All of this indicates that the fetus is to be respected from the time the male’s sperm reaches the ovum of the woman.

Imam Al-Razi’s Ethical Reflection on the Qur’anic Verse, 6:140

God says in the Qur’an, “Ruined are those who murder their children foolishly without knowledge and forbid what God has provided them with while inventing falsehoods against God. They have strayed and are not guided aright” (6:140).

About this verse, Imam Fakr al-Din al-Razi (d. 1210) comments,

Many issues relate to the verse: the first issue is that God mentioned, in the preceding verse, their murder of their children while depriving themselves of the sustenance that God provided them with. Then, God brings these two matters together in this verse while clarifying to them all that is a logical consequence of this judgment, such as ruin, folly, lack of knowledge, the deprivation of what God has provided them, false statements against God, straying, and the privation of guidance. So these are seven characteristics, each of which is an independent cause for censure. The first is ruin (khusran), and that is because a child is an immense blessing from God upon a person, so when one strives to terminate its existence, he/she suffers great ruin and especially deserves great censure in life and a severe punishment in the hereafter due to terminating its existence. Censure in life is warranted because people say one has murdered one’s child out of fear of it eating one’s food. And there is no censure in life greater than such. Punishment in the hereafter is warranted because the closeness resulting from childbirth is one of the greatest sources of love. Then, upon achieving it, one sets out to deliver the greatest of harms to it [the child], thereby committing one of the gravest sins. As a consequence, one of the greatest punishments is warranted. The second is folly (safahah), which is an expression of condemnable frivolousness. That is because the murder of the child is only committed in light of the fear of poverty. And, even though poverty is itself a harm, murder is a much graver harm. Additionally, this murder is actualized, while the poverty [feared] is merely potential (mawhum). So enforcing the maximum harm in anticipation of a potential minimal harm is, without doubt, folly. The third regards God’s saying, “without knowledge.” The intent is that this folly was only born of the absence of knowledge. And there is no doubt that ignorance is one of the most objectionable and despicable of things. The fourth regards depriving one’s self of what God has made lawful. It is also one of the worst kinds of stupidity, because one denies one’s self those benefits and good things, becoming entitled by reason of that deprivation of the severest torment and chastisement. The fifth is blaspheming God. And it is known that boldness against God and blaspheming Him is one of the cardinal sins. The sixth is straying from prudence (rushd) with relation to the interests of the faith (din) and the benefits found in the world. The seventh is that they are not guided aright. The benefit of it is that a person might stray from the truth but may return to proper guidance. So God clarifies that they have strayed without ever obtaining proper direction. So it is established that God has censured those described as having murdered children and denied what God has made lawful for them, with these seven characteristics necessitating the worse types of censure. And that is the ultimate hyperbole.[10]

The Ethical Contentions of a Moroccan Mufti

We have already quoted Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ta’wil of Morocco. Like the medieval scholars, he maintained a very conservative opinion on abortion, allowing it only if the mother’s life was at risk. The following is a list of his nine ethical contentions against abortion and those scholarly opinions allowing it. The bulk of what follows is a literal translation of his views. Regarding why abortion is immoral, he says:

  • Firstly, it is a transgression against a vulnerable creature who has committed neither sin nor crime, a denial of it from its right to existence and life that God has given it and Islam has guaranteed as well as the taking of a life in some situations.
  • Secondly, it is a clear challenge to God’s will and a demonstratively defiant act meant to stubbornly contend with God’s action, creative will, and judgment. And that manifests itself in the murder of what God has created, the voiding of its existence, and a commission of what He deems unlawful.
  • Thirdly, it a decisively demonstrative proof of hard-heartedness, the absence of mercy, and the loss of motherly and fatherly affection or rather the loss of humanity from the hearts of those who daringly undertake the act of abortion with dead hearts and wicked dark souls.
  • Fourthly, it is the epitome of self-centeredness, selfishness, narcissism, and sacrifice of what is most precious¾one’s own flesh and blood, sons and daughters¾to gratify the self and enjoy life and its attractions far away from the screams of infants, the troubles of children, and the fatigue resulting from them.
  • Fifthly, it is a practical expression of one’s bad opinion of God, the lack of trust in His promise to which He decisively bounded Himself to guarantee the sustenance of His creation and servants. It also shows ignorance of His saying, “And, there is not a single creature on earth except that God is responsible for its sustenance, just as He knows its resting place and place from which it departs. Every thing is in a manifest record (Q 11:6); as well as His saying, “And do not kill your children due to poverty. We will provide for you as well as for them” (Q 6:151); in addition to His saying, “And, do not kill your children out of fear of poverty. We will provide for them and for you” (Q 17:31). This is in addition to other verses and prophetic traditions that indicate that all provisions are in God’s control and that no soul will die until it exacts its sustenance in full as the Prophet said.
  • Sixthly, it is a bloody war against the Islamic goal, introduced by the Prophet and to which he called and strongly encouraged, of population growth and increase in posterity.
  • Seventhly, it undermines the aims of the Islamic moral code that considers the preservation of offspring to be one of the five essentials upon which the sanctified revealed moral code is built.
  • Eighthly, it goes against the nature to which God has disposed both animals and human beings to of love of children, childbearing, and the survival of progeny….
  • Ninthly, it is the grossest display of bad manners towards God and the epitome of ingratitude towards a blessing and the rejection of it. And that is because both pregnancy and children are among God’s favors upon His servants and among His gifts to the expectant mother and her husband.

These are some important matters of consideration. Every Muslim, woman, and man, will ultimately need to decide what burdens he/she is prepared to meet God with. While abortion is an emotionally charged matter, especially in Western politics, emotions play no role in the right or wrong of legislation. Although our laws currently may not consider a fetus aborted before its survival outside of the womb to be viable, the Muslim who understands that legal positivism does not trump objective or moral truths should be more conscientious and less cavalier in his/her attitude about the taking of life and removing the viability of life.


[1] Al-Ta’wil, Muhammad b. Muhammad b. Qasim. Shadharat al-Dhahab fi ma jadda fi Qadaya al-Nikah wa al-Talaq wa al-Nasab. Hollad: Sunni Pubs, 2010, p. 148.

[2] Muhammad b. ‘Abd Al-Baqi Al-Zurqani quotes Ibn ‘Abd Al-Barr as saying,

They unanimously agreed that anyone who marries without mention of a particular condition while having the intention to remain with her for a period that he has in mind is permitted (ja’iz), and it is not a temporary marriage. However, Malik said this is not an attractive thing to do (laysi hadha min al-jamil). Nor is it part the conduct of moral people (la min akhlaq al-nas). Al-‘Awza’i took a solitary view saying that it is a temporary marriage. And, there is no good in it (la khayra fihi). ‘Ayyad stated it.

Al-Zurqani, Muhammad b. ‘Abd Al-Baqi b. Yusuf. Sharh al-Zurqani ‘ala Muwatta’ al-Imam Malik. Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-‘Ilmiyyah, (no date), 3/201.

[3] Hafiz Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani said about the prophetic tradition, “Kill whoever changes his lifepath”, “Some Shafi’i jurists clung to it concerning the killing of anyone who changes from one non-Islamic faith to another non-Islamic faith (din kufr)…”

Al-‘Asqalani, Ahmad b. ‘Ali b. Hajar. Fath Al-Bari Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari. Muhammad Fu’ad ‘Abd Al-Baqi Edition. Riyadh: Al-Maktabah Al-Salafiyyah, (no date), 12/272.

[4] Al-Ra’ini, Muhammad al-Hattab. Qurrah al-‘Ayn bi Sharh Waraqat al-Imam al-Haramayn. Beirut: Mu’assassah al-Kutub al-Thaqafiyyah, 2013, p. 78.

[5] Al-Wazzani, Abu ‘Isa Sidi al-Mahdi. Al-Nawazil Al-Jadidah Al-Kubra fi ma li Ahl Fas wa ghayrihim min al-Badw wa al-Qura al-Musammah bi Al-Mi’yar Al-Jadid Al-Jami’ Al-Mu’rib ‘an Fatawa al-Muta’akhkhirin min ‘Ulama al-Maghrib. Rabat: Wizarah al-Awqaf wa al-Shu’un al-Islamiyyah, 1997, 3/376.

[6] Al-Ghazali, Muhammad Abu Hamid. Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din. Beirut: Dar Ibn Hazm, p. 491.

[7] This is how Qadi Abu Bakr b. al-‘Arabi relates the report as related by Al-Wazzani in his Nawazil 3/376. In the Musnad of Abu Hanifah, however, the Prophet reportedly said, “You will see the miscarried fetus filled with rage.” When it is asked, “Enter Paradise”, it will respond, “Not until my parents come in [too].” Al-Hanafi, Mulla ‘Ali Al-Qari. Sharh Musnad Abi Hanifah. Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-‘Ilmiyyah, 1985, p. 252.

[8] Ibn ‘Asakir, Abu al-Qasim ‘Ali b. al-Hasan. Tarikh Madinah Dimashq wa Dhikr Fadliha wa Tasmiyah man hallaha min al-Amathil aw ijtaza bi Nawahiha min Waridiha wa Ahliha. Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1997, p. 342.

[9] Among the fines due for causing the miscarriage of a fetus are: 1) prison or flogging; 2) the penance for murder (kaffarah), which is the freeing of a slave, fasting two consecutive months which is compulsory for Shafi’is and recommended for Malikis; and 3) the gifting of a slave to the woman who lost her child.

[10] Al-Razi, Fakr al-Dina. Tafsir al-Fakr al-Razi al-Mushtahir bi Al-Tafsir Al-Kabir wa Mafatih al-Ghayb. Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1981, pp. 220-221

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