Fiction
MuslimKidsMatter | Isra’s Big Day – A Story About Believing in Yourself
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Amel
January 25, 2014 at 2:51 PM
As-salamu Alaykum,
Beautiful story, masha’Allah. It is true that we can overcome our fears by pushing ahead even when we feel hesitant. Being prepared is also important. I wish I knew all this when I was your age. Keep up the good work, masha’Allah, and please continue to write.
Kawthar
January 26, 2014 at 2:17 PM
Mabruk! Great job and I hope you keep writing :) I also like to consider myself a writer though I just started high school. By the way, did you include the sea horses because you thought it would be nice, or because you have some of your own? I’ve read that keeping sea horses is incredibly difficult even for the most accomplishes aquarists because of the difficulty of feeding them. They have tiny, tiny mouths and are extremely picky eaters. In fact most of them starve to death in their first year of captivity. But not to worry, my information may be a bit outdated. Do you know someone who keeps seahorses?
You write well. But I just wanted to make a few suggestions: Try to make your transitions a little smoother. We jump from a scene where Israel is nervous at school to when she is walking home without any heads up. Also, a little more description would be great-for example,when Isra walks in and sees her mother in the kitchen. What does her mother look like? What is she doing? Is she at the stove? Is she elbow deep in wishing dishes? So on and so forth. I highly recommend Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine. No, it is not on writing about magic for those who object, and you are a little young for some of her books, but it is a very interesting and helpful writer’s book. I had a very good time reading it.
Jazakallah khair, and keep writing!