Another issue that I commonly faced in the MSA was dealing with the social dynamic of planning events as a group. Whereas the first post in this series was about the sometimes missing spiritual side of event-planning, this post is about another sinking feeling we get in the MSA when members have been treated unfairly or hurt in some way. You may have heard horror stories about the MSA or local masaajid–a dedicated volunteer all of a sudden stops coming around because the leadership treated her poorly or she was abused in some way.
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These stories are far too common and it’s quite sad to hear that Muslims would rather avoid working with other Muslims or in Islamic organizations if possible. This can happen when our MSAs develop a tunnel-vision only focused on hosting successful events and developing programming. These events become so much of a priority that they actually end up being more important than the members who make up the MSA. It is always necessary to re-evaluate your MSA’s mission, vision, and goals–not as a ritualistic exercise, but a truly sincere one. MSAs must realize that the MSA is firstly an organization that addresses the spiritual needs (something as simple as having a daily prayer space or hosting Friday prayer) and facilitates brotherhood and sisterhood for Muslim students on campus. Make sure you prioritize the people in your MSA over the programs you are planning. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t need to sacrifice your programs for the sake of the people in your MSA, but you do need to act with kindness, diplomacy, good character, and awareness when dealing with other MSA members, who by the way are your fellow brothers and sisters in Islam. It says a lot about the character and care of the Prophet peace be upon him, who built a community and accomplished many things with the help of his companions and never lost the love and loyalty of those around him.
These are keys for ensuring your MSA values people over programs:
“Treat others the way you want to be treated” is entirely wrong. Treat others the way that they want to be treated. Be cognizant of the fact that you are dealing with different personality types when working with different MSA members. Someone might be very similar to you and you can easily figure out how to interact with him. Another person might be very different from you, and you will struggle to figure out how you should interact with her. With some people, you can give them a few parameters to work by and then check in on them. With others, they will ask you to be very involved in the planning process. Some people will cave under pressure, some people will thrive under pressure. Some people want you to give them harsh feedback, and others need you to take a kinder approach. Working together as an MSA demands us to be informed about how to work effectively in a group, and there are plenty of sacred and secular resources that we can tap into to become better as individuals.
Always be kind and have good manners and character with everyone.
If you notice a person beginning to struggle with a task, keep the lines of communication open and check in with them. Don’t be afraid to talk to them and see if things are working out or if there is a problem.
Always be on the look-out for the wellbeing of your MSA members. This includes the spiritual well-being. If a project is keeping an MSA member so busy that he doesn’t have time to pray, then there is a problem with the amount of work he has on his plate.
Never correct or call out a person in a group of people. If you have something to share with someone, do so privately. This is a common etiquette of giving advice (naseeha).
Encourage those who might not as easily come forward for planning events to help and assist with organizing, and make sure to diversify the people who get the “spotlight” in the MSA.
The most important thing to keep in mind when prioritizing MSA members instead of the events that the MSA hosts is that the MSA is a group of people coming together and that any programming should simply support the spiritual, social, and professional growth of the MSA and its members. Although it may not seem like it, MSAs weren’t created to host fast-a-thons and Eid dinners. MSAs were created as a social outlet for students with Muslim identities and beliefs. Any organization on a college campus can host a food drive or a weekend camp, but there is only one organization that will look out for the spiritual needs of its Muslim members, and that’s the MSA.
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Meena is a writer, podcaster, high school English teacher, wife, and new mom. She loves working with Muslim youth and is interested in literature, arts, and culture. She studied Comparative Literature and Creative Writing at the University of California, Irvine and has a Master’s in Education from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She briefly dabbled in Classical Arabic studies in the US and is also studying the Asharah Qira'aat/10 Recitations. Check out her podcast and website Brown Teacher Reads: the brown literature circle you always wanted to be in. (brownteacherreads.com)
Jazakallah Khair for this very informative and helpful post. I really love how you mentioned that we should treat others the way they want to be treated. This is an idea that I haven’t come across before but I’m so grateful to you for making such an amazing point! As you mentioned we’re all taught that we should treat others the way want to be treated however, this isn’t always the best strategy because we are all different and we differ in our expectations and how we desire to be treated. As you implied as members of the MSA we need to get to know each other in order to understand how to best treat each other.
Yeah, I got exposed to this idea first in high school in an internship class that I took. We all had to take personality tests, and it was the first time I saw that as a particular personality type, when dealing with another person from a different group, you should do xyz…
Jazakumullahu Khayran,
Very poignant and solid advice, mashallah. Something I would add, is for those who have been turned away from Islamic work because of a few people, remember that it is Allah that you’re working for. Try to find some other outlet where you feel more comfortable, don’t let people prevent you from pleasing Allah. That’s very important to remember, because even though such people are wrong for mistreating you, you still have your duties to Allah that you have to fulfill.
Wa iyyakum! Something I have heard in terms of family relationships is similar to the point you brought up about doing things for Allah–if you are kind to someone or do some favor for someone, don’t expect a return from them, just expect a return from Allah.
Yasmin
March 29, 2016 at 8:10 PM
Jazakallah Khair for this very informative and helpful post. I really love how you mentioned that we should treat others the way they want to be treated. This is an idea that I haven’t come across before but I’m so grateful to you for making such an amazing point! As you mentioned we’re all taught that we should treat others the way want to be treated however, this isn’t always the best strategy because we are all different and we differ in our expectations and how we desire to be treated. As you implied as members of the MSA we need to get to know each other in order to understand how to best treat each other.
Meena Malik
April 9, 2016 at 1:24 PM
Yeah, I got exposed to this idea first in high school in an internship class that I took. We all had to take personality tests, and it was the first time I saw that as a particular personality type, when dealing with another person from a different group, you should do xyz…
It’s a neat idea, I agree!
Ridwan
April 3, 2016 at 1:57 PM
Jazakumullahu Khayran,
Very poignant and solid advice, mashallah. Something I would add, is for those who have been turned away from Islamic work because of a few people, remember that it is Allah that you’re working for. Try to find some other outlet where you feel more comfortable, don’t let people prevent you from pleasing Allah. That’s very important to remember, because even though such people are wrong for mistreating you, you still have your duties to Allah that you have to fulfill.
Meena Malik
April 9, 2016 at 1:25 PM
Wa iyyakum! Something I have heard in terms of family relationships is similar to the point you brought up about doing things for Allah–if you are kind to someone or do some favor for someone, don’t expect a return from them, just expect a return from Allah.
m
April 9, 2016 at 12:21 PM
Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu,
JazakAllah khair for this lovely piece, it was refreshing and help me put some things in perspective