#Life

Are You Hurt? #iForgive

Published

July 25, 2014

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As-salaamu alaykum my beloved brothers and respected sisters,

Every letter in this article is written from the bottom of my heart and I ask Allah to have it reach your heart. I also ask Allah to accept the time spent writing this article and the time you would spend reading it.

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When someone hurts you and oppresses you there are several permissible ways where you can react to that oppression:

– You can go to Allah with your weakness and raise your hands to Him and make a dua, a supplication, against the one who has oppressed you; and the Prophet confirmed in numerous authentic ahadith that the dua of the one who is oppressed would surely be accepted without any doubt.

– You can also just wait until the day of judgment and seek to get the good deeds, equivalent to the amount of oppression and pain that person did to you, as means of revenge and taking your right back. And in case the one who oppressed has no good deeds to give you then you would give THEM your bad deeds as the Prophet also stated in an authentic hadith.

But there is another option, which is the point of this whole article, that is better than all what has been mentioned but only a few people pursue it. I ask Allah to make me and you amongst the few. What is that option? It is for you to forgive the one who hurt you and oppressed you. So you don’t make a dua’a against them and you don’t take from their good deeds on the day of Judgment. But what’s the point then? You will get more than seeing that person being harmed just like how you were harmed and more than the good deeds you could’ve taken…

Rather you will be getting a reward, from who and how much? From Allah… He didn’t put a limit to it. Allah said in Chapter 42 Verse 40:

And the retribution, the payback, of an evil act is an evil one like it,
But whoever forgives, overlooks and reconcile [OK, what will happen then?]
Then their reward is on Allah.

It is so amazing how Allah puts these words together. When a king in this world tells you: “I have a gift, a reward, for you”, then you would imagine that that gift and reward is equivalent to the wealth, power, majesty and capability of that king. If this is the case with a king in this world then what about the king of all kings, Allah…?

If you would allow me, my beloved brother and sister, to stress on the point of forgiving those who wrong you, and please don’t rush and say: “speak as long as you want brother Majed, I will not forgive that person who wronged me and oppressed me”. Rather, please give Allah and the Prophet of Allah a chance through the verses and ahadith you would hear. By Allah, that is for your own sake. I want to stress on the concept of forgiving those who wronged you by doing 2 things:

Number 1: by destroying and exposing the real value of this low and cheap dunya that we are living in

Number 2: by showing you how amazing, honorable and beautiful is the reward of Allah in this dunya and in the akhirah for those who forgive.

Number 1:

Are you perhaps ready for a life changing experience?

Bismillah, let’s look at the reality of this dunya: In an authentic hadith, in Saheeh Muslim, the Prophet of Allah once grabbed a dead one-eared goat from the ear that remained. [Try to picture it ] And he asked his friends while holding the dead goat: “Who would buy this for 1 dirham” [such a low price for something the people would pay tens of dirhams for but the Prophet offered it for 1]. The companions said: “We don’t like to have it even if it was for nothing. What is the benefit of it?” The Prophet then asked: “Would you like to have it for free?” They replied: “By Allah, if it was alive we wouldn’t take it for the way it looks with the chopped ear and so on then what about if it was dead.” The Prophet then said: “فَوَاللَّهِ، لَلدُّنْيَا أَهْوَنُ عَلَى اللهِ مَنْ هَذَا عَلَيْكُمْ‏.‏” [I swear by Allah, this dunya is of a lesser value in the sight of Allah than this, dead disgusting one-eared goat, is to you.]

Allahu akbar! What is it in this lowly and cheap dunya that is worth cutting our ties of brotherhood and sisterhood.

Number 2:

On the other hand, know that of the fastest and easiest ways to gain the forgiveness of Allah, don’t we say so desperately: “اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي” [O Allah you are forgiving and you love to forgive so please forgive me], do you want to maximize your chances of having Allah to forgive you!? Then your best and easiest of chances is to forgive the one who has wronged you. The Prophet said in an authentic hadith, in Saheeh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad: “اغْفِرُوا يَغْفِرِ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ” [forgive and Allah will forgive you]. Allahu akbar!

I feel comfortable ending the article right here and it may be convincing enough to forgive someone after having such a guarantee from the Prophet that your forgiveness to the one who wronged you will actually be means for YOU to be forgiven by Allah. But let’s get even more motivated with statements from Allah and His prophet motivate us more! Bismillah!

Listen to this, after Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq stopped giving his relative, MesTah bin A-thaathah, a monthly allowance because MesTah contributed to the accusation of Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr, that she committed a major sin with another man, in which Allah has already shown her innocence in surat An-Noor, Allah revealed a verse addressing Abu Bakr and he said in Chapter 24 Verse 22:

Let not those whom Allah blessed them with wealth to withhold it from their relatives, the needy and those who immigrated for the sake of Allah.

Then Allah said: “وَلۡيَعۡفُواْ وَلۡيَصۡفَحُوٓاْ‌” [rather, forgive and reconcile]

ALLAHU AKBAR! WHAT!? Forgive and reconcile the one who accused my honor and the chastity of my own daughter!!! Then Allah continues and says, here he is addressing ALL of us!

“ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۗوَاللَّـهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ ” [don’t you love for Allah to forgive you… And [note] Allah is The Most Forgiving The Most Merciful].

Upon hearing this, RIGHT AWAY, Abu Bakr said: “بلى واللهِ إني لأحبُّ أن يغفرَ اللهُ لي” [Yes, wAllahi! I love for Allah to forgive me. And he also said: I will never stop giving the monthly allowance back to him.]

Allahu akbar, what a man! May Allah be pleased with him. I ask Allah to grant you my beloved brothers and sisters who is reading such a strong eman and such eagerness to care about Allah’s forgiveness to you. Ameen.

Another reward and honor from Allah to those who forgive, Allah basically tells them: “I love you”…. And if Allah loves you then what else in the world matters… Allah says: “وَٱلۡعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ” [And those who forgive the people. And Allah loves the muhseneen].

Allahu akbar! He considered you among the elite, the muhsineen, and he said that He loves them. I ask Allah to make you, my beloved reader, among those whom Allah loves.

In an authentic hadith in Saheeh Al-Bukhari, the Prophet once had poisoned brought to him by a Jewish lady. When the Prophet knew the meat was poisoned the lady was brought forth and the companions asked the prophet : “Shall we not kill her?” [What do you think the Prophet said? What would his reaction be towards a person who was about to poison him, basically, an assassination attempt!] The Prophet replied with one word and said: “No.”

Allahu akbar! She tried to kill him but he chose to overlook what she did.

In Conclusion:

To sum my message in one sentence:

There is nothing, in this cheap and lowly dunya that is worth forsaking the forgiveness, reward and love of Allah, nothing.

I begin with myself, as of tonight, Allah and you are my witness that I have forgiven anyone who has ever wronged me in any way, shape or form since the day I was born, whether it was the person who used to bully me when I was in school and caused me to hate being in school, or the one who cursed me and called me names on Facebook, YouTube and Twitter or even those who have backbit me and gossiped about me behind my back and I am not aware of. All of you are forgiven.

Bismillah, it is your turn. My beloved and respected brother & sister:

o Forgive and Allah will forgive you

o Forgive and your reward is on Allah

o Forgive and Allah will love you

Be sure to share this article, for you might be means of helping others forgive those who wronged them, and such act of worship is better than praying taraweeh, sunnah prayers and giving charity as the Prophet stated in an authentic hadith in Saheeh Abi Dawud. Please share this. May Allah bless you.

Wassalaamu alaykum

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Related Topics:Allah Forgiveness hadith Inspiration & Spirituality Islam Muslim Prophet Muhammad sunnah

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Majed Mahmoud

Majed completed a Bachelor’s in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Windsor, a Bachelor’s in Islamic Studies in Islamic Jurisprudence and Legal Theory from Al-Madinah International University, and a Master’s in Business Administration from Wayne State University. As he travels worldwide lecturing about different aspects of Islam, Majed works full-time as a mechanical engineer and teaches with Al-Maghrib Institute. He currently lives in Michigan with his wife and children.

17 Comments

Umm Sumayyah

July 25, 2014 at 1:01 AM

Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullah. A beautiful and inspiring article masha Allah. May Allah reward you abundantly and may He make us a people who forgive.

The Arabic text in the ayah from Surah Noor is from the end of the ayah. Perhaps you were intending to paste from the beginning of the ayah?

Reply
- Majed Mahmoud
  
  July 25, 2014 at 1:27 AM
  
  Wa alaykumus-salaam wa rahmatul-laahi wa barakaatoh Sister Umm Sumayyah,
  Ameen. I appreciate your kind words. Also, a big thank you on pointing out the matter with the ayah. It is verse 22 from surat An-noor. Thank you for reading the article.
  
  Reply
Fazeela

July 25, 2014 at 4:47 AM

Aslamoalaikum Brother Majid,

May Allah REWARD you to the GREATEST and HIGHEST and WIDEST extent. Aameen. I have seen this video of yours earlier and many other videos too, and ma sha Allah you have a very nice way of speaking. What all you have mentioned and quoted about forgiveness, I agree and accept it wholly. I have some further questions and points if you could please help me with understanding the concept of forgiveness AND help me to forgive. I want to be a good person in front of Allah and I want to do things which will make me beloved to Him.

Please tell me what is forgiveness? Does it mean that we have to resume ties with that person again? But what if that person is a Shaytaan and has been trusted earlier and given another chance but still he broke the trust. The person I am talking to is not a man if anyone is thinking. It’s a cunning cousin of mine and members of her family. Her mom is my aunt. She ruined my life and my sister’s, and because of that our family (parents and us siblings) has had a very tough time. We were simple and clean people and didn’t know that people cheated like this. My good and clean hearted parents bought us up in a protected nest but this cousin of mine did such things that it brought an earthquake in our life. Imagine a roller coaster….. up down zig zag… imagine a centrifuge…. Going round and round ….. no rest. It was horrible…

Do we really have to forgive always. Why?.. No I will not forgive. Does a person have to forgive the killer of his son? Yes I also know that Our beloved Prophet Muhammed SAW (don’t forget to say SAW , many of us like it when you say this) forgave all in Makkah including the woman who chewed his (SAW) uncle’s liver. But how do WE do it? What happened after that? Did the Prophet resume normal ties with such people?
Does the person who did us wrong have to ask us for forgiveness first and then only we should forgive him or should we say simply suddenly that khalaas I forgive him? Ok we forgive him… what next then? What after that? We move on with lives separately or are we required to mingle again? How can we mingle again with a smiley face when we are still suffering the bitter and painful consequences of those evil people? When that person is a clear devil. AllahoAkbar. I don’t even want to recall or think of that person of what he did and how we went through that torture. When I complained to my father he dint do anything just because it was his sister. He dint realize how much im suffering. I don’t know why he dint ask his sister.
Whatever disasters we went through Allah has been doing miracles continuously and our life is so Blessed. We have more than what they have. Allah has given us Himself to us, His Love, the Quran, He has filled our hearts with an urge to be more and more close to Him. And we are taking steps to be closer and closer. We have everything. Allah has given us everything. Alhamdolillah. Alhamdolillah. I want the reader to understand that when I say this it doesn’t mean we have mansions and a big bank account but Alhamdolillah Alhamdolillah a very decent living. Allah has Blessed our heart with an immense satisfaction of whatever we have and it is too much for us when at the same time people around us are in troubles. When we family members are sitting like at dinner or buying anything we always say Alhamdolillah loudly and talk that Allah has Blessed us. BUT that problem is still existing. I havnt spoken to that cousin at all after I moved away. And if by chance she comes in front of me I don’t want to even see her and this time I wont meet or talk to her. Let the people think whatever they want to. I’ve had a very hard time coming out of the mess alone with Allah’s Help only.

Another thing is that ok we don’t even bother with thinking about her in our daily lives but when the consequence of the problem comes up its very painful. Because of that shaytaaan my jobless sister is under a huge debt. We had to face loads and loads of problems because of it. Miraculously things are settled at home but the amount of money is so huge that only Allah can help us to repay that loan to the bank in her or my lifetime. So in this scenario 1) how can we FORGIVE her? 2) What do we have to do to forgive? Yani what are the steps.
I could go on and on to what she did to me and the trauma I faced because of her. Alhamdolillah its over now coz im not with them anymore and I think to myself and ask Allah that surely all that happened was for a reason. What could it be? It could be that I came closer to Allah? I don’t have any burden in my heart for not forgiving her. She is non-existing for me. Sometimes I do say that I forgive her, leave it, what is this world esp when in taraweeh or salah when Im close to Allah or see wars in the world, but then when certain disturbing situations arise at home I again say that no, all this is happening because of her why should I forgive her and I make Dua to Allah to punish them all severely.
Eagerly waiting for your reply.Also if we want to contact you personally , how do we do so?
Jazak Allahoo Khayru Katheer.

Reply
- Abdulla
  
  October 13, 2015 at 1:04 PM
  
  Did you get an answer? I too want to know.
  
  Reply
  - fazeela
    
    November 11, 2015 at 1:48 PM
    
    No I havnt yet!! Not sure if anyone from MM is reading our comments and forwarding to Br. Majid?? MM Admin, Moderators, Anyone??
    
    Reply
- Hj
  
  June 30, 2016 at 4:08 PM
  
  Reading this I think iam in same situation I think it’s to late to ask but did you get ur answers if yes can you share jazakAllah
  
  Reply
- Aisha
  
  December 20, 2016 at 8:51 AM
  
  I am disappointed that this beautiful question of yours has not been deemed worth of an answer, even up till this moment!
  This is a real life situation we muslims are faced with; not the picture-perfect painted of everyone holding hands and singing kumbayah.
  
  Reply
yusuf

August 2, 2014 at 4:29 PM

Thank you brother for the quranic verses. I have been looking for a way to forgive my own blood brother

Reply
s

November 1, 2015 at 7:00 PM

salam majid
its easy to forgive when the oppressor is out of sight or doesnt repeat. r u aware that a believer cant be bitten twice from the same hole. u cant keep forgiving criminals who commit crime agin ad again against others.it will be an uncivilised world. when a muslim is dead and gone or sure that he wont harm u again then Alhamdulillah its easy to forgive. but someone whose life is still in trouble coz of that oppressor then where does the question of forgiveness come
it is easy to forgive bullies in school once u age coz that bully doesnt exist doesnt bully anymore.

Reply
- fazeela
  
  November 11, 2015 at 1:59 PM
  
  well said S. No body comes to this part of the trauma to address it. i agree with what you have said. Perhaps we need to seek help from someone more wise. No doubt that Br. Majid has said correct things but it just dosnt end there. there are so many things to be sorted out after forgiving. Not forgiving dosnt mean the heart is restless. even Allah has ordered punishment for heinious severe crimes . He dint say to forgive!!!!
  
  Reply
Hilma

August 15, 2016 at 1:27 AM

Assalamu alaikkum

How can I forgive my husband who was lying me over 6 years and having another family..

Reply
Afreen

September 23, 2016 at 8:48 AM

Yes….we should forgive each other for the sake of Allah. It is not necessary that we should ties the bond with them as early as we had but neither we should keep any kind of malice for them in our heart… One should always keep in mind “if entire people of universe would try to harm you but they could not except by Allah permission and if the entire people of universe would try to benefit you they could not except by Allah permission “so nothing happen unless decreed by Allah. And there is also a verse in sura furqan “And we have made some of you as a trial for others :will you have patience?” So some of our relatives are a test and trials from Allah Azwajal. We should not forget this life is a test and we should try to pass this test for the sake of Allah by forbearing patience , establishing prayer and forgiving each other . And remember Allah test those whom he loves………

Reply
Fauzan Mokhtar

February 25, 2017 at 6:53 AM

Assalamualaikum brother,

I was subjected to verbal bullying back in high school mainly due to my quiet nature – possibly making me an ideal target for verbal abuses (perhaps). They even made fun of my skin since I had a terrible acne back then. I didn’t pay too much attention back then, and studied hard while avoiding them altogether after high school.

Years later, all the experiences started coming back to me. I’m reminded of it almost frequently lately.

I keep telling myself that I have forgiven them, sincerely, after knowing all the benefits I could obtain from Allah SWT. However, days later, I could still feel the suffering from those experiences and sometimes, I still feel hurt and at disbelieve of all the things they’ve said about me.

My question is brother, how can I truly know that I’ve forgiven someone? I’ve said it to myself many times and very sincere about it, but those feelings still keep surfacing in my thoughts from time to time. Does this mean I was not sincere in forgiving them?

Let me know what you think, brother. Also, if you could provide further verses from Quran or Sunnah related to the subject, it’d definitely help me further.

Thank you in advance, brother.

– Fauzan

Reply
A

May 5, 2017 at 10:24 PM

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Nicely written.

Brother, I have a question.

Recently, racial aggression and conflicts has been arrising in my country, whereby non muslims has been depicted as enemies, ignorants and insensitive towards Muslims.

Not denying the fact that maybe some of these non muslims really did intentionally abuse muslims majority as reported ib medias as well in real life. But I’d like to believe that not all of them were likeminded.

1) responding to a local recent viral racial fight between nonmuslim with a jemaah during a Jumaah prayer,

It was believed that the non muslim was honking his car outside the mosque as the jemaah’s cars parked outside the mosque was blocking the traffic, but the muslimin retaliated aggressively by beating him and his car as he was disturbing the prayer.

In the social media comment section, a sister condemned the muslimins aggressiveness and quoted that even Rasulullah saw would be patient with a non muslim who throw turd at his house.

But a brother responded, “do not put them in the same place as Rasulullah saw, as their Iman is imperfect unlike Rasulullah saw” in order to justify what they did.

Can a brother said something like that? He was not Rasulullah who are patient hence he does what he did?

2) As muslims, what is the best way to deal with this kind of situation? If the abuse be intentionally or unintentionally?

I hope you can help to clarify this for me.

Thank you.

Reply
Marzan

June 9, 2017 at 7:29 PM

I can forgive anything bad done to me…perhaps..but to a loved one…this dunya may be cheap and insignificant…but it is this very dunya where Allah has given me cherished relationships, my mother, my grandmother, my grandfather, friends, family, experiences, emotions everything…which is why when I am wronged I can forget and forgive but when people wrong my mother, say bad things about my loved ones I cannot forget and forgive even if I was offered paradise for it…I just cannot…I dnt lust heaven enough to bow my head before evil.

Reply
- mf
  
  September 22, 2018 at 1:22 AM
  
  Marzan,
  If you recall Prophet Yusuf’s(pbuh) brothers intended to kill him and then later sold him to slave traders.This verse depicts how hard iblis is willing to fight to create seperation amongst our loved ones.Not forgiving is essentially obeying Iblis.We need to learn from the verse that sometimes even a painful action like forgiving is the better way-and you essentially defeating evil not bowing down before evil if you are forgiving
  
  Peace,
  Amin(Amen)
  
  Reply
Sonya

July 16, 2017 at 5:42 AM

Thank you my Allah swt bless your work, im in tears right now.

Reply