“I love you for the sake of Allah ” 

This is a phrase that many of us have heard, and perhaps we too have said it to someone else. It is truly a beautiful term of endearment, but frankly, the first time I heard the phrase I couldn’t really understand the concept. To me, it seemed to be a phrase of great magnitude, but yet, it was one that was used frequently. Often, many of us use phrases and statements without much reflection of their weight and impact, eventually leading to their misuse. What does it mean then to truly “love someone for the sake of Allah “?

A statement that is often attributed to Ameerul Mu’mineen, Umar ibn al-Khattab (the authenticity of which is heavily disputed but the message is one that we can take from inshaAllah) is:

“ما أُعطي عبد بعد الإسلام نعمةً خيرًا من أخ صالح، فإن رأى أحدكم ودًّا، فليتمسك به”

“A servant hasn’t been given anything better, other than the blessing of Islam, than a righteous brother. And so, when one of you finds that he has affection for his brother, then let him hold onto that.”¹Qut al-qulub fi mu’amalat al-mahbub wa wasf tariq al-murid ila maqam al-tawhid Ch. 44 / p.360

Malik Ibn Dinar [rahimahullah] said “It’s better to move rocks with good people than to eat dessert with wicked people.”²Siyar A’lam an-Nubala’ vol. 5 / p. 364

Allah commands the believers to be surrounded by other righteous believers. He tells us in Surah at-Tawbah:

“O you who have believed, fear Allah and be with those who are true.” [Surah At-Tawbah: 9;119]

He also reminds us in Surah al-Kahf:

“And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” [Surah Al-Kahf: 18;28]

We are also taught about the potential harm we may face in the next life from those around us. Allah tells us in Surah Zukhruf:

“Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.” [Surah Az-Zukhruf: 43;67]

From this we can learn that in the life of this world, people will have “close” friendships – yet they will be of no benefit to them in the next life. Unless their relationship was based upon taqwa; upon consciousness and awareness of Allah .

For many of us, when we say we love someone for the sake of Allah , we are using the phrase in the wrong context, or unaware of what it really means.

أنا أحبك في الله 

What pushes someone to say this to another person? Is it because you find them funny? Or they have good characteristics? They’re someone you get along with? You have similar interests and hobbies? No doubt, human beings have an innate need for companionship and friendship, but what is the difference between our relationships with one another, and the friendships that everyone has (even non-Muslims).

There is a famous incident³Riyad as-Salihin 385 narrated in Riyad as-Saliheen, where a man was with RasulAllah when another of the sahaba passed by. The former told the Prophet :

O Messenger of Allah ! I love this man (for the sake of Allah).

And our beloved Prophet asked the man “Have you told him?” and when the man said that he hadn’t, he advised him to do so.

Identifying Sincere Love

How do we identify a sincere love for our fellow brother or sister? And how can we cultivate that in our relationship with one another?

The Prophet ﷺ said: “لاَ تُصَاحِب إِلاَّ مُؤْمِنًا، وَلاَ يَأْكُل طَعَامَكَ إِلاَّ تَقِ”

“Do not take a sahib (close companion) except a believer, and no-one should eat your food except a God-fearing person.”⁴Sahih Abi Dawood 4832

Who are the people that we tend to invite into the privacy of our homes, and feed and spend time with? Those that we are pretty close with right? And our Rasul said that these people should be amongst those that fear Allah .

The Prophet also said “الرَّجُلُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ”

“A man is upon the religion of his khaleel (close friend), so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”⁵Riyad as-Salihin 367

Abu ad-Darda’ , one of the close companions of the Prophet said: “If it wasn’t for three things in life, I wouldn’t wish to live here in the dunya:

1. The hot day (in reference to fasting on hot days)
2. Prostrating at night (i.e. qiyyam-ul-layl)
3. Sitting with people who choose their speech, like the way people choose good dates”

Abu ad-Darda’ used this analogy to highlight those gatherings where people are careful with their words and bring up conversation that is of benefit, just like we are careful when shopping for fruits such as dates; only choosing those that are fragrant and sweet.

There is also a famous and powerful statement often attributed to Umar Ibn al Khattab (the authenticity of which is disputed but we can take the benefit from insha’Allah), where he says that he never regretted his silence. Whereas for his speech, he had regretted it over and over again. When the sahaba gathered together, it wasn’t simply to have a laugh or enjoy themselves, but to remind one another of Allah .

Plentiful Rewards in Meaningful Relationships

What topics are discussed when we meet our closest companions? Are they reflective of gatherings of “people who love one another for the sake of Allah .” or are they not filled with much goodness?

We’re told in Surah An-Nisa:

“No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah – then We are going to give him a great reward.” [Surah An-Nisa: 4;114]

Unfortunately most of our friendships and gatherings fall into this category, and we should have some caution in saying that these bonds that we have are for sake of Allah , and not fool or lie to ourselves. These special, righteous companions are hard to come by. In the interconnected society that we live in, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for the number of new people we meet each year to be in the hundreds; yet the number of those that truly are special, enough for you to love for the sake of Allah will not be that many.

The Prophet said “إِنَّمَا النَّاسُ كَالْإِبِلِ الْمِائَةِ لَا تَكَادُ تَجِدُ فِيهَا رَاحِلَةً”

“Verily, people are only like camels. From one hundred you will hardly find one suitable to ride.”⁶Sahih al-Bukhari 6498

In his explanation of this hadith, Imam as-Sa’di says that “This is just like human beings as well. If you were to look for someone good enough to teach people, give fatawa or hold positions of leadership – you would barely find anyone suitable to carry out that task.” The people of excellence are few in number. In the context of our circles, this should only further emphasize that when we find good companions – we need to hold onto them. Keep them close to you and don’t let that friendship dwindle.

These friendships can be a means to a higher status for us in the next life. Included amongst those whom Allah will shade with His shade on the day when there is no shade except His shade are “two people who love and meet each other and depart from each other for the sake of Allah.”⁷Riyad as-Salihin 449

There is another hadith narrated in Saheeh Muslim, where the Prophet tells us about “a man (who) set out to visit a brother in another town and Allah sent an angel on his way. When the man met the angel, the latter asked him, ‘Where do you intend to go?’ He said, ‘I intend to visit my brother in this town.’ The angel said, ‘Have you done any favor to him?’ He said, ‘No, I have no desire except to visit him because I love him for the sake of Allah , the Exalted, and Glorious.’ Thereupon the angel said, ‘I am a Messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake)’.”⁸Riyad as-Salihin 367

Between these individuals there is genuine love for each other for solely the sake of Allah . They aren’t people that you have that connection with for other reasons such as a shared hobby, ethnic background, or for any other worldy benefit.

In a narration in Sunan Abi Dawud, the Messenger of Allah told his sahaba that “among Allah’s servants are people who are neither Prophets nor martyrs, but whom the Prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate on the day of resurrection because of their high rank with Allah .”

The sahaba said “O Messenger of Allah, who are they? Inform us so that we love them.”

Rasul-ul-Allah said “They are people who love one another for the sake of Allah , although they have no transaction or kinship  between themselves, they love one another. Their faces are full of light. They are on pulpits of light. They will not be in any fear when other people are in the state of fear. They will not be sad, when others are in the state of sadness.”⁹Sunan Abi Dawud 3527

Then he recited an ayah from Surah Yunus:

“No doubt! Verily, the Awliyah’ of Allah, no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve.” [Surah Yunus: 10;62]

SubhanAllah, the reward of such people seems to be so high – for something that we see as relatively simple. Loving someone for the sake of Allah is not an easy thing to acquire. In our religion, the greater the effort that we expend, the greater the reward. Allah tells us in Surah an-Najm:

“And that a man shall not deserve but (the reward of) his own effort.” [Surah an-Najm: 53;39]

It is through this striving and exertion that we will find this reward, and loving someone for the sake of Allah involves much self-improvement in order to make it something that is meaningful and profound.

Identifying Rewarding Relationships

So what relationships are those that we have for the sake of Allah ?

Generally, the relationships that we have fall into either one of two categories: those that happen naturally, and those that you choose. For example your neighbors, classmates, work colleagues – these are people that you usually become close to as a result of circumstances dictating that you spend time together. In most cases, these relationships do not fall under the category of loving someone for the sake of Allah . As the scholars say it is based upon choice. If this commonality between you goes away, the friendship often goes away with it. How many of us no longer have much to talk about with someone that we used to work with or go to school with? These relationships were never for the sake of Allah .

As well as with the above, the reasons we love people can be put into two categories too. Either we love them for qualities they possess (Eg. a friend you admire for the strength of their character or the manner in which they humor you, or a spouse you (sadly) love solely due to their beauty or wealth), or because you see them as a means to draw you closer to Allah . This is hubb fillah – loving someone for the sake of Allah .

For example, someone you may love like this is your Shaykh. This is because they can be a means for you to enter paradise and attain the love of Allah – as they can teach you about the religion. Some of the mashai’kh explain that a sign of a love being for the sake of Allah is that the relationship would not exist if it wasn’t for the fact that you believe in Allah and the Last Day.

As well as this, there is another level that we can achieve. Al-Hubb lillah.

If you truly love someone to a strong degree, you too will love whatever they love. For example, the Prophet had an immense love for his wife, Khadijah . The sahaba [ranhuma] said that after her death, they did not see him smile for months. This love for Khadijah extended to the people that she loved; whenever the Prophet would receive gifts, money, or meat, he would send part of it to her friends.

Likewise, a believer who truly loves Allah will also love what and who He loves. If they saw qualities in someone that they believe Allah loves, they too will love that person. For example, if there was someone they see who has dedicated their life to the Qur’an, then they too would love that person as from what is apparent, they believe this person is loved by Allah .

It is imperative that we identify the righteous companions in our midst and cling onto them, and tell them that we love them purely for the sake of Allah . May Allah grant us friendships that are of benefit to us in the next life, those that are solely for His sake and allow us to attain a position in His shade on the Day of Judgement.

Related reading:

– Small Deeds, Massive Rewards : Love For The Sake Of Allah

Small Deeds, Massive Rewards : Love For The Sake Of Allah

– 3 Ways to Keep Your Acts of Worship Sincerely For The Sake of Allah Alone

3 Ways to Keep Your Acts of Worship Sincerely For The Sake of Allah Alone