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Sex and the Ummah

The Burden of Shamelessness and the Sexuality Crisis


By: Aishah Mohd Nasarruddin

When I was 10 years old, I asked my mother why only married couples have babies. I was curious about how babies are produced. I still remember the awkwardness on her face as she came up with an answer that left me perplexed. Then, it was too early for me to know, and only a few years later I learned about the concept of procreation. Fast forward to the present however, children at that age not only have had some exposure to sex, but there are even cases in which primary school children experiment with sex. The age at which children begin engaging in sexual activity has decreased; children are now becoming sexually active earlier and earlier in life. Statutory rape and baby-dumping are not uncommon, and sexual orientation is an issue to a significant number of individuals.

Desensitization to Immorality

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Contracting the disease from so-called modern societies, we have become tremendously desensitized to immorality. Accelerated by the advent of the internet, pornography and sexually explicit images and messages are accessible almost at any time and place in our daily lives. Sin, morality, evil, and good are being continuously redefined for the sake of our own ‘rights’ and preferences.  Practices and lifestyles deemed intolerable a few decades ago are now commonplace and in the open.  Nudity and scantily-clad bodies are ‘expressions of art’.  LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual) group expansion hides under the name of liberty and progressiveness.  It is no longer surprising to see ‘Human Rights’ or LGBT advocates proudly professing their religious affiliation and expressing their views in religious dialogues. At the same time religious and spiritual values are labelled archaic and conservative.

This desensitization needs to be addressed rapidly, as it confuses people as to what is right and wrong, to the extent that it can result in violence and crime. Not only does it cause women to self-objectify and convince themselves that their primary worth is determined by their sexualized appearance, but over-sexualization of the environment causes men to view women as sexual objects to be used and violated.  As noted by Dworkin and MacKinnon in their criticism of pornography, pornography teaches its consumers that not only is it permissible to treat women in these ways, but also that women themselves enjoy being used, violated and abused by men (1).  Although the occurrence of rape has multiple causes, viewing women in such a way may predispose some men to desire to rape or increase the predisposition of other men who already felt this desire. This, in some cases, eventually results in rape and other forms of sexual aggression which may affect other innocent women and children, over whom the perpetrators have power and opportunity.


With more support for LGBT rights movements, the debate has shifted from the concept of equality and liberty to the question of whether sexual orientation is, or is not, a choice. While some may struggle due to a history of sexual abuse, traumatic events or being in environments that encourage situational homosexual practice (i.e prison, military, single sex boarding schools, over-segregated communities), the complexities of life and human beings teach us that there is no theory that is going to fit for every individual and every situation. The removal of homosexuality as a mental illness from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) following the confrontation from gay rights groups and the scientific opinion suggesting genetic predisposition related to homosexuality have raised more questions.  Is it a biological will or behavioral choice? In a religious context: Why did Allāh create then reject homosexuals if they, themselves, did not choose to be homosexuals? Why should they be shunned if their feelings are beyond their control? Don’t they deserve the rights to live happily with their partners if it is a mutual commitment?

But Allāh has already given us a clear guidance in the Qurʾān:

And [We had sent] Lūṭ when he said to his people, “Do you commit such immorality as no one has preceded you with from among the worlds? Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people.” (Sūrat’l-A‘rāf: 80-81)

Yes, whatever reasons we give to justify its rights and legalization, it is without a doubt immoral. It is an act of transgression. In fact, it was not known to be practiced nor did it cross people’s minds until the people of Sodom.

Imām Ibn Kathīr notes:
It is meant that homosexuality is the worst abomination. It was not known among the Arabs of the past, as their ignorance of it was mentioned by more than one of them. Therefore, al-Walid ibn Abd al-Malik said, “If Allāh Almighty did not narrate to us the story of the people of Lūṭ, I would have never thought that a man could be on top of another man.” And in the hadith reported by Ibn ʿAbbās, may Allāh be pleased with him, the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “If you find someone committing the act of the people of Lūṭ, kill both participants.” This was narrated by the people of sunan, and was rated authentic by Ibn Ḥibbān and others.

The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) cursed three times those who commit the act of the people of Lūṭ, and he never cursed anyone for sin three times, except those who do this. He commanded the participants to be killed, for they are not worthy to live among the people because they are corrupt in their actions and sinful in their hearts. Whoever has this likeness, there is nothing within them that is beneficial for creation if they remain. So if Allāh saves us from them, our faith and lives will be more righteous. But the curse is to be expelled and made distant. So whoever was expelled and made distant from Allāh, His Messenger, His Book and His righteous servants, there is no good in him or in coming near to him (2).

I believe that in our current situation, persecution and cursing are not the correct approach most of the time. This is because, especially today, these individuals are actually the victims. It is the widespread dissemination of the idea of homosexuality and gay pornography that trigger curiosity and confusion among susceptible individuals, which in turn has encouraged them to identify themselves as homosexuals.  Even if it is genetically influenced, to say that homosexuality is biological therefore unchangeable is incorrect. According to Whiteheads, “Human behavior is determined by both nature and nurture. Without genes, you can’t act in the environment at all. But without the environment your genes have nothing on which to act” (3). Moreover, studies have shown that change of sexual orientation is possible (4) albeit it is not an easy process. The pressure to ban sexual orientation change efforts is actually denying the right to treatment for patients who seek it.

Thus, brothers and sisters who have homosexual orientations should resist from committing homosexual acts, seek Islamic counseling, and choose the right therapists. To be inflicted by forbidden desires is a trial from Allāh.  Muslims should not pursue homosexual tendencies, just as they should not commit any other sin, such as marrying the polytheists or idol-worshippers. What Allāh has deemed wrong can never be right. The doctrine which subconsciously implies that we can be faithful to a religion while still committed or tolerant to unethical conduct is contradictory to the spirit of Islam itself.

Allāh subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) says:

Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until God gives them means out of His grace. (Sūrat’l-Nūr : 33)

It is challenging indeed to have a balanced community, as nowadays the road to extremes of sexual interactions is easily paved.  Both, excessive free-mixing, and over-segregation are problematic. It is important to maintain a balance of the two. Therefore, besides educating our society on appropriate parenting skills and sexual education, it is upon us to take heed of not only the numerous prevention methods against free-mixing prescribed by Islam, but also on the appropriate manners of both genders and the ethics of interacting with the same sex.

Narrated Ibn ʿAbbās, “The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) cursed effeminate men and those women who assume the manners of men, and he said, ‘Turn them out of your houses’. The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him)  turned out such-and-such man, and ‘Umar turned out such-and-such woman” (Sahih Bukhāri).

‘Abd al-Rahman, the son of Abu Sa’id al-Khudri, reported from his father, the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said,  A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering(Sahih Muslim).

Rationality and Sharī‘ah

Finally, at times when it is difficult to determine right from wrong, it is important to refer to the sharī‘ah rather than relying on our own rationality. Ibn Al-Juwaynee, a Shāfi‘i  mutakallim (a scholar of dialectical theology) has excellently explained the weakness of deriving legislation from human rationality:

“… Whoever thinks that the shariah may be derived from what people agree upon, of reason or from the opinions of wise men, has rejected the shariah and has taken this principle as a means to reject the shariah. If this is acceptable, then it would be acceptable to stone the unmarried fornicator who commits fornication in our times based on this argument. Likewise it would be permissible to execute a person on the basis of suspicion. Likewise, it would be justifiable to kill a person whom it was feared would betray the ummah if there were signs and indications to that effect. Likewise it would be permissible to increase the rate of zakaah if there appeared to be a need to do so…These arguments have no strong foundation. If they were to form the foundation of religion then you would find that everyone who has some rational power would take his own ideas and thoughts as shariah and thus ideas and thoughts would take the place of the revelation sent to the messengers. These ideas and thoughts would vary according to time and place, thus the shariah would have no stability…”(5)

Truly Allāh speaks the truth when He says,

“The life of this world is alluring to those who reject faith, and they scoff at those who believe. But the righteous will be above them on the Day of Resurrection; for God bestows His abundance without measure on whom He will”   (Sūrat’l-Baqarah: 212).

And Allāh knows best.



  1. Papadaki, Evangelia (Lina), “Feminist Perspectives on Objectification”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2011 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), link.
  2. Al-Bidayah wa al-Nihayah by Ibn Kathir, 9/46
  3. Whitehead, N. & Whitehead, B. (1999). My genes made me do it: A scientific look at sexual orientation. Lafayette, LA: Huntington House Publishers.
  4. Byrd, A. D., & Nicolosi, J (2002). A meta-analytic review of the treatment of homosexuality. Psychological Reports, 90, 1139-1152.
  5. Al-Ghiyaathi by al-Juwaynee p 220-221, (taken from Revisionist Ideologies in Light of Islam by Ali Boriqee)

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  1. Samar

    June 28, 2012 at 8:34 AM

    It’s been a very confusing topic for me. So, do you think that homosexuality is a choice that is triggered by the environment?
    In an idealistic Islamic country, of how I interpreted the hadith, is that they should not be killed unless they were seen having sex openly and should have four witnesses just like the Hadd for zina. But if they were known as homos and no-one is sure about it, then their close family and friends should help them get out of this stage like an ‘intervention’..

    Nature and nurture.. Interesting.

    Another question, can you please explain to me what a not ” excessive free-mixing, and over-segregation ” society looks like?

    Very interesting article, I like it.

    • Nafis Siddeeque

      June 28, 2012 at 8:59 AM

      Yes, you have highlighted a good point regarding on punishing homosexuals. Reminded me of this video I saw –

      Where the imam says that homosexual acts are punishable, but homosexual tendencies are not, and people with these should get help.

    • Aishah M Nasarruddin

      June 29, 2012 at 11:01 AM

      As a muslim first, yes, I believe that homosexuality is a behavioural choice triggered by multiple factors.

      The Hadd for liwath is not the same as zina. According to the sunnah and consensus of the sahabah, the punishment for those who commit homosexual act is death, but they differ on the methods.But as I said above, in our current context, I don’t think persecution is the best approach. Moreover,it is difficult to be proven to be punished under the Hadd unless they themselves admit it. If Allah has concealed it then we shouldn’t disclose it, the inflicted individuals should make taubah and seek help for a way out.

      As for your last question, I’m afraid I don’t have the answer.

  2. Sid

    June 28, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    Assalamu Alaikum sister,

    Thanks for a well referenced and structured article. Much better than the last one I saw here on this topic. I myself haven’t looked too deeply into this topic due to a busy schedule these days, but the question of whether homosexuality is of biological makeup always seems to pop up, as a few people I study with are atheists who are bent on proving Islam wrong. I shall study this Insha Allah when I get the time.
    Anyways, I wanted to know if there has been research conducted based on cross referencing between genetic, social, and cultural factors with related demographics on the same group; coz I have this (unproven) guess that most homosexuals who claim that their condition is due to genetics may in fact have other aspects that have pushed them to it, but have been conveniently ignored.

    For example,
    in western societies, boys in highschool, college etc. all use the showers – nude -;

    Male hair dressers n fashion designers work a lot with many women, possibly neutralizing their natural attraction towards them (and increasing attraction towards guys, as the women they work with like guys);

    There are new TV shows that strongly advocate homosexuality (though japanese anime n US comics had that years ago), so people watching will slowly but surely tend towards it;

    Feminists first start off hating chauvinism, n then continue on to hate males, leaving them just females to have relationships with;

    For all the above, you might be able to find genetic links – BUT – a person can also try really hard and find genetic links between drinkers/smokers/rapists and say “well hey, rape/smoking/drinking is in my genes!!!!!” – I hope I made a clear point :). And if research of this scale hasn’t been done yet (though i have no clue really haha), I hope that some researchers produce it fast….

  3. Mezba

    June 28, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    So the author is enforcing the view the homosexuals should be killed, effeminate men should be cursed and so on? What about those individuals with genetic disorders that cause them to emulate behaviours of the opposite gender, such as Klinefelter’s syndrome?

    • Aishah M Nasarruddin

      June 29, 2012 at 9:53 AM

      My view is, like I said above, those who have homosexual orientations should resist from committing homosexual acts, seek Islamic counseling, and choose the right therapists who can help these individuals.

      As for those who are diagnosed medically with genetic disorders such as Klinefelter’s syndrome, of course it is an exception as it is considered as a disability and the patient should get the needed support and hormonal therapy when it is indicated.

      • Mezba

        June 29, 2012 at 10:49 AM

        “My view is, like I said above, those who have homosexual orientations
        should resist from committing homosexual acts, seek Islamic counseling,
        and choose the right therapists who can help these individuals.” —- is this practical?

        If you are straight, and you are told you must NOT think sexually about the opposite gender, can you do this?

        • Aishah M Nasarruddin

          June 29, 2012 at 12:43 PM

          it’s hard but it is practical if there is a will.

          brother, as a matter of fact, i think it is more impractical to not think sexually about the opposite gender. That’s one of the reasons why people get married and reproduce. Islam tells us to control our desires and provide means to channel that desire, it does not tell us to totally inhibit it. Avoiding a wrong does not make another wrong right.

      • dalia

        July 12, 2012 at 11:38 AM

        “seek Islamic counseling, and choose the right therapists who can help these individuals.” – it is not easy….it is super tormenting and very very hard to deal with this – you can’t just change that easily. a better service would be to list the “right therapists” who are these and where can we access them? Please? we have youth who are struggling with this and we have nowhere to turn. Islamic counselling – what do you mean and where can i get this?

  4. Aadil

    June 28, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    The solution was given when Lut(AS) told his people to marry ‘his daughters’ instead of the act of sodomy. I’m sure that sleeping next to a lady would have a gradual effect on the man.

    May Allah save the current and future generations

    • Cartoon Muslim

      June 28, 2012 at 10:40 AM

      That may seem like a good idea at first, but it wouldn’t be fair to the spouse. Being in a marriage where your spouse isn’t attracted to you (and there’s no guarantee of change) would be tough.

      • Aadil

        June 28, 2012 at 2:14 PM

        Yip, I thought about that but now it also comes to mind that there are also cases of women who attracted to women, mix those two up….

    • Seynar

      November 6, 2012 at 4:27 AM

      Yeah, no. Homosexuality is not something that can be cured by placing a gay man next to a woman.

      I mean, what? :( it’ll be a not-happy marriage. The husband is not straight, how can he have loving sex with his wife? That’s just stupid logic.

      Find some other solution.

  5. TiredofReligiousBigotry

    June 28, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    Very poorly researched article. Numerous studies have shown that sexuality cannot be changed. Even the so-called Christian groups that have promoted such ideas are backing away from them.

    The poster who mentioned sleeping with Lot’s daughters as a solution is reprehensible. How can you support a man offering up his daughters as sexual toys to whomever wants them? Disgusting.

    As to why Allah(swt) creates gay people or bi people perhaps it is simply part of Allah(swt)’s diversity. Perhaps it has to do with our over burdened population. The issue with gay sex harming society tends to happen due to promiscuity, same with hetero sex. Perhaps if we did encourage our gay and lesbian Muslims to commit to one person–we wouldn’t have the issues we face today. I know quite a few “in the closet” Muslims who married heterosexual women–and neither were happy.

    Here’s another thought. Perhaps the Qur’an is WRONG? Just as beating one’s wife is not going to make one’s marriage any better, tormenting gay folks isn’t going to help. Some Biblical scholars believe that the issue with Soddom & Gomorrah was not gay sex, rather it was incest, promiscuity, and rape.

    • Sister

      June 28, 2012 at 11:32 AM

      Please show me what “study” proves that sexuality is something that cannot be changed? Either way, if you believe that our 1,400 year old holy book is incorrect, than please take it up with God, instead of harassing our dear sister. Jazakhallah Khair

    • Gibran Mahmud

      June 29, 2012 at 10:54 PM

      You aren’t a Muslim if you think the Quran is wrong.

      So peace.

    • maheen

      August 6, 2012 at 5:03 AM

      THANK YOU. I completely agree with you. I would be really hurt if I had a gay husband and my community’s stance was telling me that I should “help/turn” him.

  6. TheGreenOne

    June 28, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    A great article on the issue and well balanced as well, Jazkallah Khairan.

    As for those confused with whether its in their genes or not etc etc. I felt like the verse’s of the Quran explained that stance quite clearly and science will catch up as they always do sooner or most likely later.

    There’s a profound verse in the Quran, which I cannot find now, that states Allah (swt) inspired evil within us. And when someone ignorant reads this they will see look its not my fault etc. Rather the wisdom of this verse was taught to us by our local Scholar who mentioned that this inspiration of evil is a test. And he explained it beautifully. He gave the example of glasses we use. He said if you had glasses and were told to take them off and you did then you have obeyed that person. Now for example say a person without glasses was told to take off glasses, he would not be able to obey that person because he doesn’t have that which is being asked of him to take off.

    In the same way when Allah (swt) asks us to do good and repel evil, how would we obey him in repelling evil if we had no inner inclination to it and where would the struggle and test be if there was nothing to fight.. Similarly these inclinations may be “biological” as some state, no problem Islam has an answer for that as well. Just because it’s “biological” it doesn’t need to be acted upon. For example, its biological for left handed people to use their left hand, right? But is there ruling different when they wear shoes and eat in accordance to the Sunnah because they were made different. No, rather this is their test from Allah (swt) and many just get used it. Though the example isn’t at the same scale and I understand but it’s the principal i’m getting at. We all have our individual tests specific to us only.

    And this inclination to some part is in all of us. When one studies fiqh one will realize that in many of the Madahib that just like one is to avert their vision from women but also one must avert their vision from young lads who haven’t reached puberty because they resemble women at such a young age (no facial hair).

    Dr. Sherman Jackson in the video above truly spoke clear about a Muslims stance on this issue.

    We do not blame them for the inclination and rather what is blamed is the action.

    Ibn Al Qayyum al Jawziyah has a beautiful statement in regards to such thoughts.

    “Repel the evil thought, for if you don’t it becomes an idea. So repel the idea, for if you don’t it will become a desire. So fight against the desire, for if you don’t it will become a determination and a passion. If don’t repel that, it will become an action. If you don’t replace it with the opposite of this action , it will become a constant habit, and at that point it be difficult to change”

    May Allah (swt) protect ourselves, our families, our communities, and future generation from such calamities and tests and grant us Afiya in our affair, Ya Karim, Ya Latif. Ameen YaRaabilalameen.

    • Aishah M Nasarruddin

      June 29, 2012 at 12:53 PM

      Thank you for sharing your views. Your example about left-handed people eating with right hand to follow the sunnah is spot on.

    • sumaiya

      March 1, 2015 at 1:24 PM

      Great point mashaAllah. Ameen to the du’as

  7. Iram Ansari

    June 29, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    Good article and very relevant. As a medic, I have never come across any definitive, objective evidence to support the notion that homosexuality is genetically predisposed. In fact the original work that was published in support of this idea was flawed and biased. The author turned out to be a closet homophobe and his research assistant apparently later discredited the work by admitting the data was massively manipulated.

    • Iram Ansari

      June 29, 2012 at 7:47 AM

      Apologies- that should have said homosexual not homophobe

      • Infidelicious

        July 7, 2012 at 2:01 PM

        well, there IS a slight difference :-)

    • Aishah M Nasarruddin

      June 29, 2012 at 12:44 PM

      thank you for the information sister.

  8. Salt

    June 29, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    Salaam. This is a very informative post. I would like to state that the Gay Gene Theory is still a theory for some. The American Psychological Association has updated information on sexuality in 2008, removing genetics factors from the list of possible reasons for homosexuality. The Human Genome Project, which was completed in 2003, also revealed the same information. The Media played a great role in spreading the Gay Gene theory but did not put as much effort in updating the information.

    Regardless of whether homosexuality is genetic or not, it’s important to realize that here in America, they have that right to act on those feelings. As much as it discomforts some, its not illegal. What I would like to know is how is our government going to justify discriminating against other sexualities. There are more cases of incestuous relationships fighting for the rights on marriage as well. It’s legal in Ohio for a father to have sex with his own daughter, or son for that matter. In Washington State, bestiality is legal as long as the animal is not being harmed. P.E.T.A has been fighting this, but the law is still up. What about Polygamy? If consenting adults is the only requirement, then on what basis do we justify discriminating against these people?

    Another problem is how our media represents anyone who disagrees with gay marriage. Instead of showing a wide range of beliefs, we’re shown the white bigot, usually southern, protestor who yields a “Go to Hell” sign. There is no attempt to present both sides equally. If we really mean tolerance, then we should be trying to meet at the middle.

    If the Prophet (s) couldn’t force Islam on others, as an American Muslim, I realize that I cannot force my beliefs on anyone else. Similarly, I expect people who disagree with my lifestyle not to push their opinions on to me.

    • ocean songs

      July 17, 2012 at 11:00 PM

      Its legal for a father to sleep with his daughter in Ohio? Are you sure? Are you referring to the man who had sex with his 22 year old stepdaughter? That man was sentenced so I can’t imagine a man having sex with his biological child is legal in Ohio.

      I think globally things like cousins marrying has been a common practice. I have never heard of any immediate family seeking this though.

      I will tell you that in the 70s when I was abused, many more abusers got away with it because it was considered “a private matter”. Thank God, survivors are now encouraged to speak out.
      You are speaking of scenarios where there is an imbalance of power. This is not consenting of two adults who are equals. If two adult men and women choose to love each other, that is between equals.

      The leap you are making here regarding laws regarding sexuality is like the leaps the west makes about Muhammad, pbuh, being a pedophile because of Aisha and consumed by lust because he had multiple wives.
      I am curious to know why you believe polygamy is wrong when the Prophet Muhammad practiced it. Just interested in getting your perspective; I’m not criticizing. I personally think it is a recipe for disaster, but if Mormons want to have more than one wife and the wives are good with it, its not my duty to interfere. Would I be involved in a relationship like that?

  9. AnonyMouse Al-Majnoonah

    July 2, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    Very interesting and something I’ve been looking forward to reading about for a while.

    What many of us forget is that “science” is not absolute truth. What was considered scientific fact ten, twenty, thirty years ago has been proven to be false today; similarly, the scientific theories (which are just that: THEORIES) which are taken as gospel today will no doubt be debunked within the next decade or so.

    When it comes to homosexuality, we need to stop obsessing about its “cause” – is it genetic or a choice? The fault of the environment or something irremovable? – and focus more on how to deal with it. After all, we don’t sit and ponder about whether the desire to perform bestiality, pedophilia, or murder is genetic or not; we focus on the actions themselves and the consequences that a person who commits those crimes must face.

    Now, as for Muslims who feel that they have homosexual urges, then they (and all of us, really), need to focus on something more important than sexuality: Allah.
    Every human being faces different trials and temptations, and this is just one of them. Instead of seeking a way to find a “loophole” in order to fulfill those desires, we must accept that such acts are completely haraam and that we need to channel those energies in other ways. Fasting, qiyaam al-layl, and just deepening our relationship with our Lord will inshaAllah be a source of patience and inner strength to withstand any forbidden urges we may have.

    • ocean songs

      July 17, 2012 at 7:25 PM

      How do you respond when atheists say, “You can’t prove God so God’s not real.” When science can prove it, they say they’ll believe. I’m sure you are all aware of the recent discovery of a “God particle”, also known as boson Higgs. How exciting that was for us, right? Yet many doubters are already shrugging it off as a hoax.

      Regardless, we are a people of faith. We even believe in miracles that are unexplainable according to science. Atheists say Near Death Experiences are just the electrons firing off instead of the soul on its afterlife. Do we need proof to believe that this a lot more than the brain shorting out from lack of oxygen?

      Scientific and biological research has shown that over 450 animals also have either homosexuality or homo-love. In NYC, a “gay” penguin paired up and raised an egg together. God created it for a reason.

      The worst form of idolatry is when we idolize our own opinions. I see a lot of that in the ummah now. We are told not to backbite, to wish the ignorant peace, to be humble, to remember only God knows the heart. Only God knows best.

      Remember the prostitute who was forgiven all her sins for giving water to a thirsty dog? We need to get busy with our own good deeds and stop assuming we know what God knows about the topic of homosexuality. A group of people wanted to stone a prostitute at a well for her sins. Jesus, may Allah immerse him in peace, said, “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.”

      If you believe you have time to look for sins in others, you better reorganize your priorities. You have your own sins to worry about. The hardened heart has lost part of its connection to the soul. We need to forgive like God forgives even the worst of sins.

      The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah, says, ‘O son of Adam, as long as you call on Me, I
      shall forgive you of what you have done, and think nothing of it. O son
      of Adam, even if your sins were to reach up to the clouds in the sky,
      and then you were to ask for My forgiveness, I would forgive you and
      think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if you were to come to Me with
      sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you were to meet Me after
      death, not worshipping anything besides Me, I would bring you
      forgiveness nearly as great as the earth.’” [Tirmidhi]

      And God knows best.

      I can tell you that a loving committed gay couple is not thinking about sex any more than a loving committed straight couple. You believe it is about sex; you are the one who needs to get your mind out of the gutter about it.

      Gay marriage is about love just like straight marriage. Gay marriage is not a porn show or a peep show. It is a request to have the same rights as a couple that legally married heterosexuals have. Some of these are emotional, many are financial and legal.

      And God knows best.

  10. shiney

    July 3, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    subhanAllah! May Allah reward you with good both in this world and the next and May He continue to Guide you…Ameen! Thank you for writing this much-needed article; you mentioned a lot of points for which I have been looking for. Couldn’t have been put better: “What Allāh has deemed wrong can never be right.”


    July 5, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    It seems that a lot of Muslims are not familiar with the subversive ideology that is behind the so-called “gay” rights movement. I’ve begun to address it here:


    July 5, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Interesting start, I guess. I wish more of the Muslim community would address this issue, especially since it is becoming such a big deal with the Oreos etc.

  13. ocean songs

    July 17, 2012 at 6:34 PM

    Since I was a Christian for four decades before converting to Sufism, I remember being so scared by the story of Lot in Genesis. It is important to read it as a much more detailed account of Lot and the problems in the tribe.

    What scared me was when Lot says in Genesis 19:8 where Lot says to the men:
    Behold now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; let me, I
    pray you, bring them out unto you, and do you to them as is good in
    your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under
    the shadow of my roof.”

    Is it a higher moral when Lot is ready to throw his two virgin daughters out into this crazy crowd? Is it better for them to rape his two daughters than rape his two guests because heterosexual rape is acceptable?

    I always thought Lot was quite a bit like my own father so it appeared to me that my father was allowed to lustfully approach his child, his daughter. Until about the same time the lgbt movement started, survivors of sexual abuse also began telling their stories. Most survivors feel somehow it is their responsibility to keep the secret of their abusers which leads to decades of needless flashbacks, depression and shame. Sort of like an emotional honor killing.

    Interestingly, Lot’s daughters are not gay men, but have their own deviance. Skip ahead to Genesis 19: 30-38 who are worried they won’t have children because there are no men so they get Lot, their father, drunk and get themselves pregnant. Indeed, they both bear their father’s babies. Can you really blame them for using their father as a sperm donor since he couldn’t have cared less if he sent them into a crazed crowd to be raped?

    When the Muslim community is ready to look at the facts straight on, we can have a truly knowledgeable discussion on what it means for gay and lesbian couples to seek the right to marry.

    The article begins with how children know much more about sex now than they once did. One reason for this is schools now teach children how to defend themselves against predators. It is also important to note that when a young child begins acting out in sexual ways, they learned from adults.

    Yes, part of the problem is we are exposing them to things they are not ready for on tv, in magazines, etc.. But when children act out sexually at a young age, chances are they have been sexually abused or witnessed sexual abuse. Why is it more important to throw insults at two adults who make a loving commitment to each other (whether gay or straight) rather than face what the Islamic culture tacitly allows…that is rape and abuse, including the physical, verbal and sexual abuse of children.

    Rather than a breakthrough article on helping abused children, I once again watched a bunch of arrogant people looking at the sins of others rather than their own. Interestingly, God doesn’t say stone the people of Lot. He tells Lot and his two (deviant) daughters to leave the tribe behind. Don’t look back, he says or I’ll turn you to a pile of salt (do I hear a parable with a deeper story than the literal one here?). He doesn’t tell Lot to stone his people. God says, leave this to me.

    And there is a verse in Quran I have yet to see referred to in these discussions. Please remember that if the gay men had asked for forgiveness for their openly lewd conduct (which is a lot more than homosexuality unless you believe men and women don’t get just as “lewd” together).

    Gay people are not asking for the right to have sex in the streets with other men. They are asking for the right to be in a loving and commmitted relationship with an adult of the same gender. If God would be compassionate toward gay men who were “caught out in the open” (public indecency is not same gender love), why aren’t we?

    IF you read 4:16-17, immoral conduct refers to something witnessed by 4 people. It is referring to taking it sex out in the streets. A heterosexual couple would be equally lewd if four witnesses discovered them being sexual in public. God asks us to be adult and reverent with our own sexuality and to also be loving and reverent within our intimate relationships.

  14. Fatima

    July 19, 2012 at 3:37 AM

    Such a great article, especially the part about nature/nurture. In countless psychological studies, it is emphasized that behaviors are never just attributed to ‘nature’ and that genes and the environment interact–so I find it funny that proponents of Homosexuality cite it as ‘a product of nature’ with such fervor, when their own methods of research demonstrates otherwise.

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