Family and Community
Babies in the Masjid
By: Asma Bint Shameem
The khuṭbah had already started. She knew that she was late, but she wanted to attend the Jumu‘ah prayer anyway. She quickly picked up her baby and stepped anxiously into the masjid, looking to the left and the right. After all, this was the first time she was here; she had just moved to the area and didn’t know anybody. As she sat down in the Sister’s Prayer Hall with the baby in her lap while her heart was thumping in her chest. She could feel curious eyes turn in her direction, but she stared hard at the ground, too nervous to meet their gaze and tried to concentrate on what the Imam was saying.
But her baby was nervous too. He didn’t know this new place…all these new faces and all the curious eyes. He had never been in a masjid before. He wanted to go home. She knew her baby would be uncomfortable in the new setting, but she thought she could manage. She herself had not been very ‘practicing’ all her life, but now that she was a mother herself, she felt the importance of an Islamic upbringing. She was determined to teach her baby all about this religion right from the very beginning, but first she had to work on herself. She wanted to learn, she decided that the best place to start learning about Islam would be the masjid and this was her first visit to a masjid.
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But the baby was getting restless and she could see that he had already started to whimper. Yet, she hoped she could console him long enough to last through the Prayer. However, much to her dismay, just as the Imam finished the khutbah and said, “Allaahu Akbar,” her baby started crying. At first it was low wail and a whine, but then he let it all out. And she was certainly not prepared for the ear-splitting howl that followed, or the hysterically loud sobbing that accompanied it. WAAWWW!!!
Oh my GOD! What a terrible noise he was making! What should I do?
She thought to herself, panicking. She didn’t want to break her prayer. She tried to pick him up, but he was squirming too much. She realized that he was wailing loudly, but there was nothing much she could really do. “After all, he was a baby!” she said to herself. “I am sure they all understand.”
She wished that the prayer would be over quickly so that she could console her baby. But before the Imam had hardly finished saying the ‘Salaam’, that they all jumped on her!
“WHY DON’T YOU KEEP THE BABY QUIET!”, they screamed! “DON’T YOU SEE WE ARE PRAYING?”
“Why did you come to the masjid?” Someone muttered, grinding her teeth.
“Stay Home, Next Time!” Another one hissed.
“Bb…But…umm…I…uh…I’m so sorry.” she whispered.
With her head bent low, her eyes downcast, she blinked hard to fight back the tears that suddenly welled up in her eye as she tried so hard to swallow the huge lump in her throat. She thought this was the masjid. This was the place where she and her baby would be welcomed; this was the place she wanted to be, to learn Islam and to teach it to her child.
How can they be so mean to her like that? Didn’t they realize that it wasn’t her fault that the baby started crying!
Without saying a single word more, she hurriedly gathered her things, picked up her baby and quickly left the masjid, without even looking back once.
Now let’s go back to another scenario, 1400 years ago, in a better time, in a better place, in another masjid…by relating to this hadith:
A bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people rushed to beat him. Allah’s Apostle ordered them to leave him and pour a bucket or a tumbler (full) of water over the place where he has passed urine. The Prophet then said, “You have been sent to make things easy (for the people) and you have not been sent to make things difficult for them.” [Bukhaari]
This illustrates for us the perfect example of how our behavior should have been. It shows us an unwavering principle of Islam, that is, if in our social life, when any unpleasant incident takes place, we should keep our cool and show tolerance and patience. We should concentrate on finding a solution to the problem and not just think in terms of what punishment to hand out to the problem-maker. We should find means that would alleviate rather than aggravate the problem.
Where is our sense of tolerance and patience? Where is our feeling of compassion and mercy? When and where will we show it, if not in the masjid, of all the places? The Prophet (saw) said:
“He, who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.” [Bukhaari]
Did the sisters forget the time when they had little babies of their own and they cried too?
The Prophet (saw) understood the agony that a mother goes through at such times. That’s why he (saw) said:
“When I enter the prayer I intend to prolong it. Then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying.” [Bukhaari]
And aren’t we supposed to warmly receive a newcomer, and make them feel wanted and welcomed…especially one who is just coming back to Islam? Isn’t being kind and tolerable, the very basis of our deen…the very essence of our Da’wah?
As Allāh says to the Prophet (saw):
“By the grace of Allāh, you are gentle towards the people; if you had been stern and ill-tempered, they would have dispersed from round about you” [159 Al-‘Imraan]
Aren’t we supposed to behave courteously towards one another? Didn’t the Prophet (saw) tell us:
“He is a bad person in the sight of Allāh who does not behave courteously and people shun his company because of his bad manners.” [Bukhaari]
SubhanAllah!
Was this the way to behave with the new sister?
Why weren’t we gentle and merciful to her?
Why couldn’t we be patient with her and her little baby?
Couldn’t we have dealt with the situation better?
Were we a means of pushing her away from coming to the masjid?
These are some of the questions that we seriously need to ask ourselves.
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siraaj
May 15, 2012 at 1:10 PM
It’s not just the women’s side. Men can get pretty psycho when kids make any noise, one of the reasons I don’t bring my youngest into the musallah yet, don’t want to deal with these experiences, and I always appreciate the masjids where they have no problem with kids.
Abez
May 16, 2012 at 12:43 PM
We had a guy come and actually start banging on the ladies side partition after jamaat one day, and my kids weren’t even being ‘bad,’ they just weren’t silent. Ask Waleed. It was scary and weird.
ahsn
July 28, 2014 at 3:26 PM
same issues in mosque here aswell they say its ok not to bring them even if it is for skipping jamat.
Nycdoublebassist
May 15, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Surely you are not a believer till you wish for your brother that which you wish for yourself! I bring my daughters alll the time. When they were younger , if I had to get up so be it! Better to have them in the the Masjid, than the streets following non believers in excess!
Nehal Al Tarhuni
May 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM
“this was the place she wanted to be, to learn Islam and to teach it to her child” ???. A baby can not comprehend what the imam is saying and rather the noise is going to ruin the experience for everyone, babies kids etc are welcomed in every other function run by the mosque but during prayer which is a very spiritual time. when the quraan is being read we have been ordered by god to be quiet and to listen, that can not happy with the baby background noise! there is a certain time when kids are ready for prayer in masjid and learning islam in that setting, that’s why the prophet said order your kids to pray when they are 6 years old!
Jessi
May 15, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Yet there is a hadith where the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him states that he may start the prayer intending to prolong it, but shorten it when he hears the cry of a baby, because of the stress it causes on the mother.
My husband and I have always brought our children to the masjid since they were born. For the daily salat, even fajr if they’re awake, and for the khutba. We want them to love and feel comfortable in the masjid. We want them to learn correct behavior from the beginning and to have a habit of frequenting the masjid regularly just like they have the regular habit of brushing their teeth.. Currently my kids are 23 months, 4 yrs and 6 years and we attend the khutba almost every week. Most of the time they can sit quietly, and some times one cannot and I’m grateful for the mercy and understanding of others.
ADRIANA EMERY
May 19, 2016 at 1:56 PM
Assalam alaikum. Asiya is 2 months and i wanted to take her. How did you take your children . Car seat.? I was thinkingbof wrapping her in my moby she seems to fall asleep in it. I agree with you. Why not learn at a very early age then try to introduce it later in life ? Like a tree trunk. Did you feed your babies (bottle) while the sermon was on?
Thank you and may Allah bless you and your family.
LH
May 15, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Sister, don’t be a bad example of Muslims! The prophet never restricted the masjid to children old enough to pray!
“(One day), the Prophet, peace be upon him, came in, at the time of one of the two evening prayers, carrying Al Hassan or Al Hussein. Then, the Prophet, peace be upon him, went forward, laid the small kid aside, and he started praying. During the prayer, he made one of his prostrations so long that I raised my head (up from the prostration position on the ground). I found the small kid mounting on the back of the Prophet, peace be upon him. So, I lowered my head down again (continued the prostration). After the Prophet, peace be upon him, ended the prayer, the companions asked: “Messenger of Allah, we have noticed that one of the prostrations was so long, that we thought there was something unusual, or that you were receiving revelation (of some Qur’an).” “All that did not happen”, was the Prophet’s reply, adding: “My grandson was mounting on my back, and I did not like to rush the kid before getting enough of what he likes (his play).”
Allah yehdeeki
Raja
May 15, 2012 at 5:38 PM
Assalaam waleikum waragmatoelah hibrakatoe,
May Allah soebhaan wataa’Aalah forgive you for your ignorance and arrogance and may he guide us All ameen.
Before speaking, Follow the deen and sunnah first, then teach others. Thank you.
yasmin
May 16, 2012 at 3:39 AM
May we all be forgiven for our ignorance and arrogance. lol
Hashir Zuberi
May 16, 2012 at 6:25 AM
I’m not sure how brother Nehal is expressing any level of ignorance or arrogance. He has a valid point of view; you have the right to disagree. Just like it is not proper to rebuke the parent for the crying baby (the point of the article), it would not seem proper to accuse a poster of being arrogant and ignorant just because they don’t hold your point of view.
Nalini Naidoo
May 18, 2012 at 11:55 AM
order when they are 6, so surely they have to learn before that?
most mosques do not run other functions apart from prayer.
what about the mothers? do they not deserve to listen to Quran?
Syed Yousef
September 19, 2014 at 8:42 AM
This brothers response is exactly what is wrong with our society these days. There are parents out there who have young babies and need to come to the masjid for prayer. Should they stop going for jummah because this brother cannot concentrate and has ADHD?
Tarek
May 15, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I believe that bringing a baby to the prayer is a mistake, but under no circumstances should it be treated with a bigger mistake, such as making this young lady think twice before coming to the mosque again. With that being said, I should women with babies should agree within themselves, that couple of them will take care of the babies while the rest finish the prayer, then those who did not pray take their turn in prayer, and all inshaa Allah, will take the same reward.
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 4:58 PM
I think this is a broad minded wise reply. I would just like to add that its not a mistake probably its just that the mother should be a little prepared for this situation.
june
May 21, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Assalamu alykum.
I wouldn’t say bringing a baby to prayer is not a mistake. Even if the woman is at home the baby is going to be there when she prays and even at home the baby may sometimes cry while she prays.
I used to go to a masjid that had a lot of young families and we dealt with babies during prayer much the same way you suggest. Any woman on her menses would volunteer to watch any other woman’s baby while she prayed unless the baby was too fussy outside the mother’s arms.
I don’t know the specific hadith but I know it’s okay to hold the baby while you pray and then put it down when you prostrate because that’s what the prophet (saw) did with his granddaughter. I think that also shows it not a mistake to bring a baby to prayer.
june
May 21, 2012 at 12:38 PM
*I wouldn’t say bringing a baby to prayer is a mistake. (whoops, grammar error)
Syed Yousef
September 19, 2014 at 8:47 AM
This is a very machoistic comment. Shame on this brother for asking the sisters to sacrifice their prayer so that he, a man, can pray!! This brother needs to understand that prayer and religion is not secluded to males only. People with children of all ages should be encouraged to come for salaath all the time. Kids are angels and we need our youth more represented in our masjids. If he has a problem he can stay at home and pray alone where he can “concentrate”.
Muslim from Canada
February 9, 2016 at 10:06 AM
Brother will all due respect even if poorly behaved kids are considered angels doesn’t mean they act angelic if you know what I mean. Furthermore being civil to fellow Muslims (both kids and adults alike) doesn’t mean we all have to be “big” on them etc that is if we can’t relate to them and/or we’re “put off” by their conduct.
Ume Abdallaah
May 15, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Interesting how there was no one at the masjid to defend the sister. No one thought why she brought the baby to the Masjid in the first place? What happened to finding excuses for people?
Hashir Zuberi
May 16, 2012 at 6:32 AM
My impression is this isn’t a “true” incident per se, rather a “parable” to illustrate a point that does occur in reality. I’m sure if this actually happened anywhere, there would be some musallees pleading for calm and restoring everyone’s peace.
Ayesha
November 30, 2014 at 5:16 PM
I wish this were just a parable. Unfortunately I experienced this personally, at Maghreb Jamat the imam brusquely told me to remove my four month old from the masjid because he was crying. My five hear old daughter saw the whole scenario unfold. She was scared and very upset. We’re new in the area and in our last local mosque she enjoyed going to masjid for prayers and weekend classes. She couldn’t understand why we were being kicked out from here.
Do you think children should want to come to the mosque for love of Allah or stop loving the masjid for fear of intolerant and incompassionate people???
Anonymous
April 20, 2015 at 7:34 PM
You would be surprised… I walked into a mosque with my 18 month old son and mother. There were only a few women present there. I did wudhu and came to the musallah area to perform prayers when a woman almost started shouting at me. ” Are you here to change you child’s diaper? You can’t change him here…” Etc I was obviously antagonised, but mumbled something about not wanting to change my son.
The time before that I had taken my daughters who read their prayers but were slightly chatty, when people were still reading. I got reprimanded by another woman. It definitely didn’t make me have a positive feeling too wanting to go to the mosque. I would rather avoid it if my kids are with me. I’m sure they don’t see the mosque as a loving place to be either….
Having said that, it isn’t a farz for women to appear at the mosque. It’s preferable to read at home, but on both occasions I was outside of my house and would have missed my prayer.
Husnain Awan
May 15, 2012 at 2:21 PM
I agree that in this scenario, the other musallis could have shown better judgement to the mother, however at the same time, there are also parents who don’t even bother picking up the child to calm him/her down or kids who are running around wild in the masjid yelling at the top of their lungs. There is also a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad (saw) to take care of your kids if you bring them to masjid (words to that affect).
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 4:59 PM
I do agree with this too. Its not the mothers fault that the baby started crying and she might be concerned but wish to continue her prayers. But out of courtesy for others it would be better for her to take care of her child.
YasirQadhi
May 15, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Salam Alaikum
Actually my position might be *slightly* different. While the Imam or the congregation should NOT rebuke a parent if their child is crying or misbehaving, it is ALSO the duty of the parent to try his/her best to cater to the child. And a regular attendee whose child always misbehaves is different than a newcomer.
Any Imam of the masjid knows newcomer and regulars. Clearly, newcomers should be given way more laxity. But the same cannot and should not be applied to regulars.
There are regulars who bring their kids and then consider the masjid to be a playground for them. They do absolutely nothing as their kids run, yell, scream, and generally go around irritating everyone in the masjid. Clearly, this too cannot be tolerated.
The examples pointed out above are one extreme. No one wants to repel someone from coming to the masjid. But at the same time we need to be moderate and point out the other extreme. Parents who know that their kids will misbehave should not make it a point to ignore their own children in the masjid.
The ideal solution (and one that ALL masjid co-ordinators should seek to implement) is to have a children-friendly zone, where children can either be baby-sat, or at least be with their parents in an area that will not irritate other people. This zone can have an audio-visual connection with the main musalla area, and lectures/khutbahs/salat can be televised live. I’ve seen some masjids where they have daddy-friendly zones and mommy-friendly zones – ideal for us in North America!
Bottom line: we should try to make the masjid family-friendly, without sacrificing the needs of most of the mussalleen to have a quite place to pray and listen to lectures.
Yasir
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 5:02 PM
Very well said. I should not have even bothered commenting have I seen yours.
annoni mummy
May 17, 2012 at 1:52 PM
This would only benefit if you also educate the parents. (i also used to think mum and baby room was a good idea till i went inside one!)
i have been to many masjids in different countires and i have found that even when my children are sitting quitely (silently, people used to ask can they talk! thats how quite they were!) i would still be advised to go to the mums and kids room, (very strange seeing as how they were silent!).
There is no point in going to the mums and kids room, i would rather go home. what i see going on in the mums and kids rooms are, either a social gathering, or children running wild ( i am talking big kids who should be praying) or mums taking toys away from my kids to give to their own kids! or my children getting beaten up and so crying because the other mums say maa lish to their kids beating my kids! so education would be better. explain to people that they can pick up and comfort a baby, that they can hold a baby and pray even if it is not crying. that they should bring something with them for the child. that they should explain and try to keep the child calm and the older it gets the more they should let them know, we are going to the masjid we need to be quite etc. parents should also be told that it is NOT (malish!) ok for their kids to hit and hurt others no matter who they are or where they are from.
Otherwise we will have some really big problems with kids who should be praying running wild, boys big boys coming over and banging on the womens door while the salah is taking place and children who as they get older dont want to go to the masjid, as well as mums and dads who dont want to go to the masjid or dont want to take their kids due to the stress of being rebuked. disintegration of the community, banning kids from the masjid is like cutting the roots off.
There is one masjid here that i have heard of, where the sheikh is bought in from Egypt for taraweh every year and he always tells the parents bring your blessings to the masjid, Allaah swt has blessed you with children bring your blessings to the masjid. Masha’Allaah. unfortunately the masjid nearest to us first night of ramadhan just make the anouncement to not bring any children to the masjid during ramadhan!
Nalini Naidoo
May 18, 2012 at 11:47 AM
subhanAllah, no kids at masjid at ramadhan? how will the kids experience this special time with their community?
ayla
May 29, 2012 at 3:43 AM
Parent has to have value set about masjid+praying to a kid. And stick to that value. Like u wanna drive a car, so its OK to press horn all the time or bit accidentally ‘hit’ other car.?? Rules are rules. If masjid has facility is good, if not then stick to the rules. Like parents whose kids are in toilet training, so accepting risk just because its small kid?. Doesnt make sense at all. How can we teach moral when we disobey rules & make others uncomfortable?. People have right to pray in masjid without disturbances. Meeting friends but forget basic rules.
UmmZayn
May 15, 2012 at 2:22 PM
I think this article doesnt address the full balance of this issue. YES our masjids should be places where children feel welcome, safe and happy and yes we should always deal with others with gentleness and understanding -BUT parents must also recognize their responsibility in teaching their children how to behave in the masjid, how to respect a place of worship, how to respect the Imam when he is speaking/praying, how to respect the people praying, how to respect the neighbours of the masjid. I have rarely ever seen anyone pounce on a mother of a baby and scold her for a crying baby, but I have seen many many times parents bringing their children to the masjid [children who are not babies who cannot understand anything] and then leaving the children to just act as they wish and not disciplining them or teaching them anything. I have seen mothers bring small babies, who scream their heads off for the entire duration of the khutbah and prayer and the mother just sits there, instead of stepping outside for 2 mins to try and calm the baby down. I have even seen mothers who finish the pray and then mingle around chatting with friends, while their baby continues to scream, and still they just leave the baby screaming and dont notice that the baby is disturbing everyone else. Parents have a responsibility, whether the child is a newborn or a child capable of being taught right from wrong. Yes bring your children to the masjid, but please TEACH them how to behave in the masjid. My parents always brought us to the masjid when we were young. But we knew this is a sacred place, we knew you dont run and scream etc here and disturb everyone around you. Sadly many small kids today dont seem to know this and their parents dont seem to be telling them!
Nalini Naidoo
May 18, 2012 at 11:48 AM
how did you learn that was a scared place? the first time you went did you automatically know? or did you make some mistakes along the way as a child? most children dont behave perfectly in every single situation.
Muslimah Sis
May 20, 2012 at 3:59 PM
She knew because her parents made the effort to teach her and her siblings. UmmZayn never commented that kids should be perfect always, wonder why you would write otherwisw. In fact she has made some very true observations and raised some very valuable points.
Muslim from Canada
May 1, 2014 at 9:42 AM
Nalini I agree children can’t be perfect but if their misbehavior intensifies than it’s gone too far and also if parents do nothing about their child’s bad behavior than I feel it’s the parents’ fault.
A.Khan
June 26, 2016 at 1:16 AM
Yes, exactly! I’ve seen these selfish types of mothers at my local masjid too and their kids are always disrupting others’ prayers.
LH
May 15, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Authentic Hadith, narrated by Al Nassa-ee in the Chapter “Is it allowed that one prostration is longer than another? Under number 1129, and confirmed to be authentic by Al-Albani in “What is authentic and less authentic in Sunnan Al Nassa-ee”
um Hana
May 15, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Can we have a separate, closed-off area for misbehaving adults as well :)
~Khadijah~Hayley~
May 15, 2012 at 2:58 PM
SubhanAllah, the intolerance of children is getting ridiculous! I actually saw a wedding invite that said “No Children Allowed” Say what??
shiney
May 15, 2012 at 3:57 PM
sister i agree it may sound ridiculous to hear of/receive invitations that say “No Children Allowed” but did you think of it this way? What if the family giving the party cannot to afford to invite a of people? What if the families they want to invite have a lot of children and they don’t have space in the wedding hall or something? We should give our Muslim brothers and sisters 70 excuses (as per the hadith) before we make judgments about them.
Um_asmaa
May 15, 2012 at 4:18 PM
assalamu alaykum Shiney
I agree we should give people 70 excuses but I personally know that children are not allowed to be at weddings because they are a distraction-the adults want to have a fun time so children are left at home. To me it defeats the whole purpose of a wedding being a day of celebration where two families are becoming one!
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 5:06 PM
I think its right about not forming negative opinions on people. But no space for children? If my child is not allowed, why am I going :)
Umm Sulaim
May 16, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Put the child under your jalabiya and no one will know you have violated the rules!!!!!!
Some of the comments here are killing me with laughter.
Daa5
May 15, 2012 at 3:28 PM
It’s ok not to go to the masjid if the environment is not welcoming or the place is not suitable and accomodating to children until they are older, I did that myself many years…
shiney
May 15, 2012 at 3:52 PM
no doubt you addressed an important issue sister and you provided the adequate proofs from ahadith which paint an accurate picture of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)’s patient character and the setting of his masjid. A lot of people these days go out of control because they can’t handle their anger. Babies and kids are very different. The home is the best place for women to pray as mentioned in a hadith, and women with babies should be considerate and should avoid coming to the masjid for as long as their babies are young. When the kids are mature enough not to cry, then no one should prevent the mothers from coming or rebuke them for doing so. I agree with Sh. Yasir’s comment.
After all, the primary purpose of the masjid is Salah, and crying babies very much disrupt the whole Khushu’ factor of the salah (not to mention the Imam’s concentration if he leading Taraweeh or something).
Umm khadijah
May 15, 2012 at 4:05 PM
I was treated on the same way when I went to study circles with my baby to learn more about my religion but was shunned away because my baby was crying or disturbing others and I felt very uncomfortable, I finally gave in and stayed away until my baby was in school and now attend a new study circle where we welcome all parents and children. How do we expect our children to learn and us to improve our religion when we are shunned away. these children inshALLAH may be our future scholars and shieiks and it is iimportant for them to be part of this.
tanzil
May 15, 2012 at 4:30 PM
My question is are we allowed to bring babies to masjids ???
the rule to order ur children to pray when they reach 7 indirectly implies that you can bring them to masjid after they are 7.
Correct me if I am wrong.
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 5:09 PM
It doesn’t imply you are not allowed to bring them to Masjid before 7.
macsy
May 17, 2012 at 3:56 PM
yes you are allowed to bring children to the maskid before the age of 7. the prophet sws bought his grandchildren to the masjid. read the article or previous comments and you will see the references
Nalini Naidoo
May 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM
so at 7 they automatically know how to behave in masjid and how to pray? surely you have to start teaching them before that so they can pray properly, know their surahs etc by 7?
Amira
May 15, 2012 at 4:35 PM
My baby did great when she went with her dad but in the women’s section would throw a fit. I just didn’t go because it wasn’t comfortable for her. My biggest pet peeve is seeing older children who should know how to behave run around like heathens and the parents don’t do anything!!!
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 5:10 PM
yeah that is a little annoying at first, but I think twice before I approach any child because childhood memories are very strong and one can easily become the reason why a child stopped liking the Masjid. Its better to just smile and tell them softly to calm down.
Arshad Ahmed
May 15, 2012 at 4:55 PM
I have been in Masjid’s where babies cry and I do sympathize with the mothers. I think we should be very sympathetic towards the mother and try to offer her some comfort because she would be very stressed in that situation. No one brings their child to the masjid just to let them cry. Whether or not the child will understand anything, hearing the Quran will have an impact on the soul. I personally think if we read the Seerah once more before discussing this issue, we would all agree with the nature of the Prophet he would not have treated the mother rudely or insisted that she go home. On the other hand some noble person might have offered to take care of the child outside the prayer hall.
none
May 15, 2012 at 5:19 PM
Allah chooses from amongst His slaves to test others. Kids need to be at the masjid doing things that kids do. Allah will help those who need to connect their hearts to His message. And the kids will be a deterrent to the hypocrites who wouldn’t be rectified regardless of who is at the masjid. The masjid needs to be a welcoming environment for brothers and sisters, young and old. If it can be the center of the community, that community might be in better shape. Allahu alim
um abduLLAH
May 15, 2012 at 5:24 PM
this is a very widespread issue. IMHO this article has addressed the issue very well. It should be kept in mind that the women who are housewives especially, have stayed and worked in the home and may have been around the kids all the day, and may be stressed to the breaking point. She needs to be around other people and have conversations outside of ba ba or dada or nuni or bobo. Hearing the Imam read Quran during the prayer helps to relieve the stress and tension. Then being around other sisters helps to satisfy her social needs as well. It also helps the little ones newly growing social activeness as well. I guess the old saying goes, patience is a virtue.
Liz
May 15, 2012 at 7:37 PM
Asalam alaikum.
well this story is unusual, I mean no women in our mosque seem to mind a baby crying during prayer. On the other hand during khutbah is something else.
we have a regular mother of two very active children who attends Jumuah every week. The children run and shout during Khutbah and the mum sits smiling. I take my 77 year old mother who just reverted to learn from the khutbah, as we all want to do , but its so difficult to concentrate with children laughing and playing and running and then mum gets out the crisps packets!! we cant hear nor concentrate and leave the mosque quite upset,
There are two empty rooms with speakers in where the mum could take her children and still try to listen through their noise, but she dosnt. I am sorry I have had 5 children and they need to be taught how to behave in a mosque at khutbah s or lectures etc.
Just last week s soon as the khutbah was to begin her kids started and someone gave her a look and tried to turn u the volume of the speakers and she was angry saying come on lets go people dont understand these are children! Yes we do !
most of us have them but children only know what they are or arnt taught! Its not their fault and the mosque isnt a playground..
Where is the courtesy and respect of other sisters wanting to listen? I myself have asked the sister nicely if she could attend to her children so that others may listen to the khutbah, most say nothing, You may think they are being understnding and merciful but actually they are realy fed up and angry.
I think if she keeps attending (even though she cant hear) then its a shame but i will stop going along with my mother, who does want to and tries so hard want to listen !
I had 5 children. I went to mosque with my babies when they were satisfied with milk etc and if they were crying I wold leave the room with them , When they were crawling , toddlers and dont taake heed to instructions i didnt attend mosque. When my children were old enought to listen to instructions such as please sit quiet then i started attending again.
Babies dont need to be in the mosque they dont realise nor remember .
Yes we want for our brothers (or sisters) what we want for ourselves. and that is to attend Jumuah to gain knowledge from the khutbah. But when children attend who are too young to be quiet then neither the parent nor the sisters nor the mother of the cildren can hear anything nor get any benefit from the khutbah,
From as you may guess, one very frustrated sister,
Muslim from Canada
May 1, 2014 at 10:15 AM
Liz after reading your comments I must say that that mother you’re describing is not only acting irresponsible she’s also being inconsiderate to others or certain others when she supports her kids’ annoying behavior which reminds me that some Muslim parents aren’t doing a good job in raising their kids,furthermore and in this case, it’s rude of fellow Muslim parents to let their kids do whatever they want and it’s also rude of these parents to possibly expect or force everyone to be enthusiastic about their children.
I ‘d also like to point out that in my hometown the Islamic community used to hold Sunday classes at a university building but no more all because university officials kicked them out because some of the kids were misbehaving somehow where I have to admit that as a Muslim it can be a bit embarrassing for me because what if some non-Muslims began to wonder if Muslim kids have a propensity to misbehave more than non-Muslim kids ( I agree it ain’t true) and what if they wonder if most Muslim parents are inept ? Please tell me that Islam doesn’t encourage parental incompetency.
Finally & especially since I’m not a board member of the local Muslim community I admit I can’t stop every single Muslim kid from attending our local masjid and Islamic events but I will say that those Muslim kids who are a handful including those that I’m familiar with that I tend to not associate with them and for that matter there are certain things I prefer doing for familiar and well mannered and easy to relate to Muslim kids that I prefer not doing for ill mannered Muslim kids but however I can be civil to them.
UmmZ
May 15, 2012 at 9:13 PM
I believe that having a kid-friendly zone is a good idea but not ideal for every case. It varies according to the age of child. I was new to a community and went for jummah prayer in a masjid which had a separate room for children. My infant made a few sounds and a woman requested(while the khutaba was going on) that I go to that kid room. In it were 10-15 children all toddlers or above screaming, running around that I did not get a word of the khutbah. After that, I never returned to that masjid and this left me with a bad first impression of the community. I felt very uncomfortable that some people were not even a little tolerant. I agree that children that are making alot of noise should be controlled as the masjid is a place of prayer and not a playground but caution should be taken as not every case is the same.
waleed
May 15, 2012 at 9:31 PM
I once went to a masjid in Illinois that had a sign ‘Children Under 7 not allowed’ – Ouch :s
Fatihah muhamed
May 15, 2012 at 11:42 PM
assalamualaikum,
this story is like an alien story to me. i dont have children yet but i saw plenty of times when young mother attending taraweeh at our masjid with their young babies.
i think there is two factors that can help both parties in this kind of situation.
first factor is from the parents side, which is they need to train their children how to pray and the purpose going to the masjid. i notice most of the babies will join their mom’s doing sajadah.even as young as 1 or 2 years old. this is can be achieved by the parents doing the solah with their children around. it might be hard at the beginning but when it become familiar it’ll be very good insyaallah. i saw how a mother before she start solah tell her baby that mama going to pray and put her baby at ease at her side playing with toys.once they are old enough to run they will joining their mom or dad in solah insyaallah. for the mom and dad with children to stand at the last side of the line and back line.so if there is a need arise it’ll reduce the damage impact..lols!
second factor is must come from the other sisters or brothers, which is by tolerancing the sister’s or brother’s children presence with this in mind “these children will be the next generation to attend this masjid”. the children can sense if they were loved or not right? if we adult can feel awkward by being stared at with “lion or tiger look” what would those innocent babies will feel when their presence is loathed and stared with angry look.another way is by letting this sister took the last stand at the left or right of the line.
Aly Balagamwala | DiscoMaulvi
May 16, 2012 at 1:31 AM
As the plane leveled off at a comfortable altitude for what was to be a 14-hour flight, I reclined by seat back and tried to get comfortable and get some sleep. The long flight would give me time to sleep and catch up on my reading. Then the wail of a baby shattered my plans …
I was feeling really hungry. The waiter placed a scrumptious steak in front of me and I picked up my fork and knife to enjoy a nice quiet and gastronomically-satiating meal. Suddenly the calm of the restaurant was plunged into chaos as two 4 year olds started running around and screaming at the top of their voice.
I had enough. I wrote to the airlines. I wrote letters to the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA), President Obama, to the International Air Transport Association (IATA): THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I WANT YOU TO BAN ALL BABIES FROM FUTURE FLIGHTS.
I was seething. I demanded to speak to the manager. Told him he must immediately do something. I wrote to the headquarters of the restaurant chain. I demanded to the National Restaurant Association: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I WANT YOU TO BAN ALL CHILDREN FROM ALL RESTAURANTS.
Babies cry all the time on planes. Kids are boisterous in restaurants. They’re part of life. Deal with it. Nuff Said.
Aly Balagamwala | DiscoMaulvi
May 16, 2012 at 1:35 AM
As the plane leveled off at a comfortable altitude for what was to be
a 14-hour flight, I reclined by seat back and tried to get comfortable
and get some sleep. The long flight would give me time to sleep and
catch up on my reading. Then the wail of a baby shattered my plans …
I was feeling really hungry. The waiter placed a scrumptious steak in
front of me and I picked up my fork and knife to enjoy a nice quiet and
gastronomically-satiating meal. Suddenly the calm of the restaurant was
plunged into chaos as two 4 year olds started running around and
screaming at the top of their voice.
I had enough. I wrote to the airlines. I wrote letters to the Federal
Aviation Authority (FAA), President Obama, to the International Air
Transport Association (IATA): THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I WANT YOU TO BAN
ALL BABIES FROM FUTURE FLIGHTS.
I was seething. I demanded to speak to the manager. Told him he must
immediately do something. I wrote to the headquarters of the restaurant
chain. I demanded to the National Restaurant Association: THIS IS
UNACCEPTABLE. I WANT YOU TO BAN ALL CHILDREN FROM ALL RESTAURANTS.
Babies cry all the time on planes. Kids are boisterous in restaurants. They’re part of life. Deal with it. NUFF SAID.
*Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*
Nalini Naidoo
May 18, 2012 at 11:57 AM
exactly, seems people want o ban young kids and babies from normal community life, and by default ban mothers from any suppport.
Muslim from Canada
September 1, 2014 at 6:22 PM
Respected brother there should be limits to tolerating boisterous kids including those who are Muslim if you know what I mean,besides,you should bear in mind that I’m more at ease with well behaved Muslim & non-Muslim kids (especially if I connect with them) more than I am with Muslim & non-Muslim kids who are too challenging.
Aly Balagamwala
September 2, 2014 at 12:47 AM
Everybody is more at ease with well behaved kids…. ask any parent! :)
I am not saying that parents should not be requested to keep kids in check if they are boisterous. Just that it should be a respectful suggestion and the parent should not be shamed. Sometimes kids are just not controllable.
Aly
*Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*
Guest
May 16, 2012 at 2:05 AM
Babies are fine (seriously, don’t hate on babies!) but I think the bigger problem is poorly disciplined young children who run around and scream. A child who can’t help themselves isn’t a problem and should be treated and viewed with Rahma by the entire community. But a hyperactive 4-year-old shouldn’t be allowed to wreak havoc. Wa Allahu Alam.
naadia
May 16, 2012 at 4:03 AM
a few nights ago on islamiQA (islam channel) the sheikh answered a related question…people should read stories of the prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasalaam regarding children in the masjid. the sheikh spoke of hasan alayhi salam and husain alayhi salaam as small children and how they would climb all over him (peace be upon him) while he was leading the salaah. some food for thought for those who become annoyed with babies in our masaajid. wasalaam
TPopoola
May 16, 2012 at 5:37 AM
Assalaamu alaikum, yes I agree with the children-friendly masajid idea. This should be by DEFAULT subhanallah especially in the West where we are trying to keep our children firmly upon the deen and APPRECIATE IT. Instead we are running both parent and child away.
Another thing is the issue someone else brought up about having wedding invites that state “No Children allowed”. I can go on and on about this particular issue because I live in the Middle East and have lived in Qatar for 5 years. When the sisters had get togethers one of the first things (after bring a dish) was No Children allowed!! Subhanallah, anyone that has lived in the ME knows that this a very DIFFICULT thing to be asking of any mother!!! It can be isolating enough in the ME already but to be barred from going to a gathering because you have children really hurts. And it is most of the time the lectures!!! The thing we need most!! The children need socialization skills with other Muslim Children, not locked away until we adults feel it is “time” for them to entire normal society! Who in the world set the standard as to when it is “TIME” for children to entire society!! Children will be children and we need to show them that they are just as much an important part of the Muslim Ummah as the adults. Yes some adults are irresponsible and allow their children to run amok but you can’t AND SHOULD NOT bar all parents with children from local events, masajid, etc. Subhanallah those of us who reverted to Islam and were active members in the church would DEFINITELY feel what I am talking about. I grew up in a church that used to throw the youth to the side and tsk tsk at them when they went astray and got into trouble. I get SICKENED when i see stuff like this in the Muslim ummah. We are better than that, by Allah!
Fatima Siddique
May 16, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Subhan Allah. What timing. A week and a half ago, I took my baby girl to the masjid for the first time as well. I had women turning around in their salah to give me and my daughter dirty looks. I couldn’t help but wonder whether or not they had had perfect children. Or whether they had chosen to stay at home and forego the ajr of salah in the masjid for years and expected me to do the same.
Asiya
May 16, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Subhan Allah, I just wanted to add this, I am learning Arabic, slowly, struggling, but trying, I havvve a child of 7yrs who has ADHD & Aspergers, but he absolutely loves & desperately wants to go to the masjid, he adores the Imam [he wants to be one when he grows up & also a zoo keeper – because he knows you shouldn’t just be an Imam!], he adores the prayer & loves the recitation of Quran, he would spend all is time there if he could, the problem is though, he cannot control his levels of energy [& I refuse to dope him!] & sometimes he can’t cope with the way people treat/speak with him & becomes very upset, anxious, angry & can be loud when he feels stressed…
I have gone through stages of sending him to the masjid for his Quran learning, withdrawing him when he becomes the child who is picked on [then punished again because he vocally reacts to that!] then give him a break, then return etc… I have gone through stages where I attend the khutbah with him & stages where due to various factors [we both know the sister who thinks children are awful full stop…even if they are on their best behaviour!] we don’t go, because despite everything my son still loves the masjid [so do I] but I don’t want that to be destroyed by attitudes of people who have no idea how much we struggle & assume the worst.
I have ambivalent feelings about the masjid nowadays, I used to feel peace when I went, now I always wonder if we should be there, as a revert who attended church as a child & loved it & who sees children entering churches specifically to play (& foster a love of the places! Aauthu billah!) I feel sad that we have such a strange attitude towards children & parents.
Asiya
May 16, 2012 at 11:30 AM
oh, & one last thing… shouldn’t we focus more on our own faults & try to rectify our own character flaws before we start picking on babies, children & parents who we assume aren’t doing their best… are we sure we are doing our best???
Abez
May 16, 2012 at 12:42 PM
I know this is a complicated issue, but I just want to say that fear of being rebuked by others while my children are young has kept me from attending the masjid for YEARS.
I don’t think any Muslim should be prevented by their community (of fear of rebuke from the community) from attending prayers, but rather than talk about preparedness, or kids being taught properly, or focusing on blame, let’s talk about the solutions.
Two thumbs up to ‘child friendly’ prayer areas where we can hear and see the jamaat without being heard or seen ourselves. :)
Noor Mohammed
May 16, 2012 at 1:52 PM
This is sad, and a reality, I see this too often and I always wish people could be more understanding and sympathetic with a mother or father who bring their baby or children to the Masjid. Our youth are the next generation, they should grow up being welcomed and loved inside the Masjid.
Zahirameriem
May 16, 2012 at 2:01 PM
The baby was crying because he knew that the writer Asma Bint…was going to write about his bad behavior at the Masdjid while acusing his mom for his bad behavior…..seriously ,the writer started her article being so judgmental toward the poor mother who just needed a reminder that it is not فرض for a woman to perform salat Friday at the masjid and please the writer was she there praying ? Because if she did she is تنافق criticizing her Muslims brothers and sisters ان الذكر تنفع المؤمنين
السلام
Zahirameriem
May 16, 2012 at 2:19 PM
I never took my kids to the masjid when they were little God knows how much I wanted to be there but I did not want to bother my brothers and sisters,kids are loud and fun of course in a good way!subhanallah now that they are 6and up we all enjoy praying in the masjid elhamdoullillah
MW_M
May 16, 2012 at 3:20 PM
My parents have been taking me to the masjid since I was 3 years old. Alhamdulillah, over 15 years later, I’m very glad they did.
Ruby_1226
May 16, 2012 at 11:47 PM
Wow, its hard reading some of these comments. Talk about judgmental!
Abu Muhammed
May 18, 2012 at 1:47 PM
If your children don’t know how to behave at or in the masjid,they shouldn’tbe there. Contrary to popular belief, Jummah is not the time or place to teach them that it isn’t a Jungle Gym. Did not the Prophet (SAW) to protect our masjids from ‘children and crazy people’. People going to the Masjid for worship and thikr shouldn’t have to tolerate unruly children and their selfish parents.
If my child starts screaming and misbehaving at the Masjid, I simply remove them and take them home. To do otherwise is oppression.
Hassan
May 18, 2012 at 7:09 PM
To the author, how have you personally handled such situation in past? Has your position evolved over the period?
sara
May 18, 2012 at 11:36 PM
A little moderation is required here. Islam is the middle course, and the just one. A baby who starts crying in prayer is simply that. Nobody can stop that after it begins. We just try to be careful if our babies are going to cry and soothe them before the prayer, and hold them during. The other children—let’s be honest here, most people, with the exception of the elderly, don’t seem to mind normal kid behavior, and we owe the elderly some patience. However, as a community, we have a problem with teaching children to behave effectively. Once they are 3 they can learn not to shout during prayer, run up and down the rows, fight, throw objects, and demolish the masjid. Parents need to be responsible, and others need to be respectful. Children belong in the mosque, but so do manners and good behavior. But, we don’t help parents by being nasty and causing them to frazzle so their parenting is even less effective.
Mariom
May 20, 2012 at 10:54 AM
As a mother myself, I think it is best for a women to pray at home if her child is a disturbance to others. It is only best for brothers to pray in the masjid so why would you go if your child misbehaves? Others will not have Kushoo during salat and I personally would be very embarrassed if it were my child. I have three boys (4,6,8) and they are a bit older now and my husband takes them to salat with him whenever he can. However, my boys were very quite babies but learning starts in the home. You can’t expect that by bringing them to the masjid, they will learn. Is playing around and disturbing others learning?
Farhan
May 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM
I don’t care what anyone says, I *LOVE* it when babies make sounds in the masjid, any kind, even crying. Its like “oh hey, you’re the next generation, aren’t you?”
When I’m the khateeb and I hear a baby crying/babbling, I make a quick du’a out-loud for the child, and then continue as normal.
Muslim from Canada
June 17, 2014 at 7:30 PM
Farhan no offense but that was a little odd what you typed,no offense again but I hope you’re not the type to enjoy it when an older Muslim kid(s) misbehaves, I hope you’re not the type of Muslim individual to bestow favoritism to Muslim kids who tend to be a handful and I also hope that you’re not the type of person to discriminate better behaved Muslim kids (especially if they are easy to relate to.) Unfortunately some people glorify a child’s bad behavior so I’m not surprised that they would have the propensity to show favoritism or give such a child preferential treatment and finally as indicated in another comment that I can be civil but not bestow favoritism to fellow Muslim kids that are too much of a challenge.
ayla
May 29, 2012 at 12:37 AM
The mom should go to masjid not in hurry moment. Its not a must woman to go to masjid, she can teach her kid at home. But to have fun educating experience, she has to pick & create best moment, by coming earlier for example so kid not in hurry, just shalah 2 rakkat then go home id kid is too small. Kid cant tolerate long time waiting. Mom should know that!. When kid is 6 years old then canstay longer like jumah shalat. So mum as woman, needs to aware. She’s responsible too to make others can focus & have fun experience there. As woman&mum, she shouldnt push too hard to make pryer at masjid. She forgets the jumah prayer isnt must for woman, and its taking LONG time for 1st experience of kid, too small kid. Astaghfirullah. She asks her right at first but forget whats her duties as member of ummah.
ayla
May 29, 2012 at 12:49 AM
And also, like ramadhan. Mom shall prepare kid was taking nap before, not in hungry condition, so no crancy moment in masjid. U can meet friends, praying, experiencing wudhu with yr kid & no need to stay long for 1st experience. Remember, it takes lots of small steps to introduce kid. Masjid is identic with peace, calm, etc. So mum, stick to that values to teach yr kid. Im a mum. Im not pushing myself, my kid. Be patience, there’s always perfect time for it. Pick the roight prayer in masjid. Like tarawih, no need to stay in all scenes. Look yr kid first, short but meaningful is better than long time there but crancky. We often forget what is sunnah, & a must. And kid’s impression. We think only what s good according to us as mom. Mother, please… Teach yr kid empathy by putting yrself in others’s shoes. Tell kid, inddor voice, no running like in playground, or screaming like in outdoor. Make sure kid has outdoor activity day before / few hours before going to masjid. Kid is in enough sleeping, not crancy belly. U r responsible to make better&clean place at masjid whoever u r.
ayla
May 29, 2012 at 3:28 AM
Please sister, dont take quran & hadith to support yr opinion/interest, quran & hadith are there to help us seek solution. So pls, dont go for jumah prayer if kid isnt ready for long session. Take a simple tour , wudhu, shalah 2 rakaat or fardhu. Feel the peace, talk softly ininddoor voice. Smile to people. Then go home as first step. Lots of small steps to teach a kid. Dont push too hard. Dont come in hurry, and kid isnt having enough time to sleep & eat. Pls see yr duties first before asking right. Like tarawih, dont stay for whole sessions if kid is too small. Remember, woman is better to pray at home. Teaching solo at home also fun,or inviting fams n relatives.
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East
June 3, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Practimate
UmmHafsa
June 11, 2012 at 2:04 AM
Its the parents who don’t watch their kids and allow them to run wild that ruin it for the rest of us. However there are some people who are extremely intolerant of children in the masjid. I would have no problem with the mommy and kids rooms if they were able to accommodate that many people. I grew up going to the Haram with my mom. My siblings and I were close in age and would play there while our mom prayed. We weren’t rowdy but we were never asked to leave and never heard anyone object to us being there. On the contrary I remember strangers coming up to us and telling us how lucky we were to be able to play there. It makes me sad that I cannot give my children that same experience and love for the masjid. I know that parents should control their children but to me it seems that even the presence of children is not tolerated in American masajid. I always take a masjid bag for my kids with activities to keep them busy, it seems that people are less patient and less tolerant during Ramadan. I usually don’t have issues out side of Ramadan. I have been asked to leave three times, each time during Ramadan, and in my opinion the requests were unreasonable. Once I was asked to leave even though my 2 month old was sleeping soundly in her carseat. Another time some older girls were sitting in the back talking in low voices, but I was the only one in the room with small children. The third time my daughters were praying next to me and one of them giggled over something. Perhaps there are some rulings against children giggling in the masjid that I don’t know about. Allahu A’lam.
Suckled Sunnah
July 13, 2012 at 11:38 PM
Very nice post! Tonia @ http://suckledsunnah.wordpress.com/
AHMED
July 14, 2012 at 12:56 PM
ALHAMDULILAH MY PEOPLE PRAYING ON TIME MASHALLAH MY ALLAH GUIDE US THE STREET BATH ALHAMDULILAH
Neda
August 13, 2012 at 4:12 PM
Assalamalikum, mashAllah very nice post and very relevant especially now that its ramadan.I have been attending taraweeh and tahajjud prayers ever since I can remember.So I had been worried if I could attend the taraweeh this year with my 1 year old active son in tow.Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah Allah SWT has been so merciful.The Minhaal academy in NJ is super kids friendly.They have a separate section for ladies without children and another room for ladies with children under 7.Kids older than 7 are required to play in the gym.In spite of this, sometimes you can see the older kids running around and screaming in the ladies room.The babies/infants are not so much of a problem.They keep well to themselves, walking around or chewing on something.SubhanAllah it truly amazes me when the mothers do not object to the older kids running around and screaming or talking loudly during salah/khutbah. For moms with younger babies, I know its difficult to experience the same level of khushoo like we used to before we had our babies.But we can help our babies stay calm and playful while we pray.1.Its important to make sure your baby has napped before you bring him to the masjid. 2.Also, make sure he’s well fed. 3. Carry your kid’s favorite snack/plaything/activity. 4. Dress your baby in comfortable clothes. 5.Ask any older kid sitting nearby to keep an eye on the young babies while you’re praying. Its allowed for a mom to hold her baby while praying.You can also pick him up while in salah.Alhamdulillah i’m still able to enjoy the benefits of praying in jamah with my 1 year old.Some days when he starts crying, I pray only some of the salah or just the fardh and sit down with him and try to calm him down.Alhamdulillah after a few days of regularly bringing him to the masjid, I have noticed that he less clingy of me and moves around happily on his own and allows me to pray the entire salah alhamdulilah.
Aryana
February 7, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Alhamdulillah. As a teacher I brought all my preschoolers to the mosque. It’s Me&My Musolla Trip. Total student is 217 this year. We teach them adaab at mosque, niyah, wudhu and jumu’ah prayer. We have been doing this activities for 3years and the mosque at our place always welcome us.
ak
March 28, 2013 at 6:06 AM
salam to one and all, its a very bad situation that we find our muslim brothes in isslam, behaving not in the least like pure muslims, rather behaving towords children worst than kafirs, we should take very special care the way we interact and behave towards and with children, becouse they are the future of isslam, we all will certainly die, but ALLAH blessed US WITH OFSPRING, WE SHOULD EDUCATE THEM ABOUT BEHAVING IN THE MASJID, AND AT THE SAME TIME WE SHOULD SHOW THEM OUR UTMOST LOVE AND CARE.,
Moo dean
February 9, 2014 at 7:01 PM
Abu Qatada al-Ansari reported: I saw the Apostle (may peace be upon him) leading the people in prayer with Umima, daughter of Abu’l-‘As and Zainab, daughter of the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), on his shoulder. When he bowed, he put her down, and when he got up after prostration, he lifted her again.
Book 4, Number 1109:
Abu Qatada reported: I saw the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) leading the people in prayer with Umama daughter of Abu’l-‘As on his neck; and when he prostrated he put her down.
Moo dean
February 9, 2014 at 7:14 PM
Abu Qatada al-Ansari reported: I saw the Apostle (may peace be upon him) leading the people in prayer with Umima, daughter of Abu’l-‘As and Zainab, daughter of the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him), on his shoulder. When he bowed, he put her down, and when he got up after prostration, he lifted her again.
Book 4, Number 1109:
Abu Qatada reported: I saw the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) leading the people in prayer with Umama daughter of Abu’l-‘As on his neck; and when he prostrated he put her down…WE SHOULD PRACTICE PROPHET (saw ) hadiths And manners salat is MOST accepted if we apply it in action not just by saying. ASLMKUM…
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Sakinah
July 6, 2014 at 2:35 PM
This article resonated with me. I also read through the replies. I think there should be a middle ground… as someone pointed out the hadith, our Prophet peace be upon him continue praying with his grandchild on his back. The compassion and patience he exhibited for children should be our model. The compassion and love he had to shorten the time for mothers too so they were not distressed.
At the same time I understand the importance of parents educating their children about manners, and paying attention to the needs of others there. I pray all brothers and sisters would think carefully and be patient with the mothers and children. If we are to make excuses for each other maybe even in this case??
I’m a recent revert to Islam. I first attend a month ago right before Ramadan. My child is 4. Islam and the masjid is new to me and to her. I had prayed over a year at home before working up courage to attend. She watches me at home, I talked to her about salah, about behavior at the masjid. But the experience going is another thing.
she began to whimper and then cry in the middle of prayer. Yes, she’s 4 but not familiar with the environment. Even seeing me pray at home almost 2 yrs, even I told her beforehand repeatedly how to behave, I think she reacted to the newness of it and all the people. Being a revert I didn’t even know if I should take her out or not. My instinct was to rush her outside. But having no idea of the “proper” way to do it I made duas and finished salah. I also felt so distressed!! I was practically in a panic. I think only parents who have gone through this understand how this feels lol. Whether the masjid or anywhere, kids will at some time act as kids and misbehave unexpected.
After salah no one said anything to me but I caught many disapproving looks. I felt embarassed the whole time I was there until I left. I should add Muslims I spoke to didn’t recognize me as a convert until I explained it. So maybe at first glance they have no way of knowing this is my first time and my child has never been to a masjid. I saw many replies to this article that by a certain age the child should know better. That children over such and such age is not excused. But please consider that some of these parents/children could surely be new like me in which case at 4-5 a child is afraid or act in ways unexpected. If the parents or child is reprimanded that could make the child frightened in their first experience with other Muslims and masjid? How unfortunate that would be?
For me, the visit was a test. When I got home I entertained the thought of never going again until she was older. I was sad thinking this after waiting so long to go. I also wavered with thought that the religion itself was not for me, that maybe I somehow didn’t belong. Testing thoughts about other places of worship, how the family go together and children are always in attendance without question. I thought about this all night and prayed and these thoughts passed away, as I reassured myself Islam is the truth and I must be Muslim. As a new Muslim I want so much to attend to connect with the ummah, strengthen my faith and learn more. As a mom I want so much for my children to be exposed to have a good experience, to be raised in Islam and around Muslims from the start like I never was. We never know how long we’ll be here. I don’t want to waste a moment in the things I aspire to do (attend the masjid, learn more, familiarize our child) because to me it’s one of my more important duties.
Sorry to have written such a long comment. I’m still feeling about what happened. It’s my hope this comment might soften any heart toward the newcomers mom and children in sha Allah. we never know who they are and wouldn’t want to push anyone away and sadly for some it only takes one experience, would we want to be that one experience?
Muslim from Canada
September 2, 2014 at 1:39 PM
@Aly:
At least you understand and as long as the parent(s) act responsibly than hopefully things should turn out okay.
Aly Balagamwala
September 4, 2014 at 9:45 AM
in sha Allah
Yaver
June 19, 2016 at 6:05 AM
Islam is also a logical religion … Logically , I don’t believe it’s good to take children to masjids bc children are just children they don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong ..
Send children to Islamic schools and give them Islamic knowldege
Muslim from Canada
July 4, 2016 at 2:23 PM
Alright I’ll interpret that as you saying that even if children don’t know right from wrong that it still shouldn’t give them the right to misbehave or it shouldn’t give them the right to seriously misbehave.
Adam bn Jibri Abu Bilal
September 16, 2016 at 1:15 AM
Assalam! The Prophet SAW once kept his head down in sujud for a longer time during prayer, and congregational for that matter just because a baby climbed onto his neck. When one of the Sahaba peeped up to see what was holding the Prophet, he saw a baby on his neck. Yet the merciful Prophet did not complain on that.
So what is our problem with our children being in the mosque, the holy house of Allah for all muslims?
Nadeem
September 17, 2016 at 8:49 AM
Brother I believe the issue is that even though Muslim kids can’t be perfect the thing is it goes ” too far” if their misbehaviour gets out of hand where some of their parents do nothing about it.Even if it’s not the children or younger children’s fault they misbehave it can be their parents’ fault if they don’t teach their kids right from wrong and for that matter if these parents are doing nothing about it if they witness their kids misbehaving or are informed about their misbehaviour but still do nothing about it.
Hadya
April 1, 2023 at 10:03 AM
This article is very well written. I feel compelled to share it. https://www.amjaonline.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Bring-Children-to-the-Mosque.pdf