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Happy Homes – A Sunnah Guide

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I recently delivered a lecture entitled “Happy Homes – Tips from the Sunnah for a happy family life.”
[audio:Happy_Homes.mp3]
Please click here to download

The summary of the lecture is as follows:

In most religions, piety is linked with abstaining from marriage and raising a family. Many people believe it is impossible to give both God and family their rights, this has led to the breakdown of the family structure in pursuit of piety.

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On the flipside, in secular culture, emphasis is on self-gratification and this in turn has led to the breakdown of the family system as well.

Islam, however, came to reform society with a natural way of life and as a result great emphasis is placed on family life, this is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his family.”

Common causes of problems in Muslim homes:

1. Selfishness.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “None of you is a true believer until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself.”

2. Arrogance.

Not wanting to admit when one is wrong or apologize.

3. Looking for faults in others

“Oh you who believe, stay away from suspicion, sometimes suspicion can be a sin, and do not spy on people or backbite each other, would you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother? No, you would hate it so fear Allah.” (Surah Hujarat 49:12)

4. Cultural practices that conflict with Islam

Practicing any culture is fine as long as it does not contradict any principle of Islam

5. Haraam sources of income

6. Lack of Halal entertainment

7. Haraam elements in the house, includes non-practicing parents or Haraam forms of entertainment

8. Living beyond your means

Qualities needed for a happy family:

1. Knowledge and practice of Islam

2. Love, mercy, compassion and understanding

3. Family time, spending quality time together

4. Patience in dealing with each other and ability to overlook the faults of other family members

5. Respect for everyone

6. Determination to make things work as Allah does not test a person with more than he or she can handle

This is just a summary, listen to the complete lecture at the link above.

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Alhamdulillah, we're at over 850 supporters. Help us get to 900 supporters this month. All it takes is a small gift from a reader like you to keep us going, for just $2 / month.

The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small. Click here to support MuslimMatters with a monthly donation of $2 per month. Set it and collect blessings from Allah (swt) for the khayr you're supporting without thinking about it.

Ismail Kamdar, a.k.a Abu Muawiyah, is the Head Tutorial Assistant of the Islamic Online University, and the host of Living Islam on Radio Al-Ansaar. He began his study of Islam at the age of thirteen, and has completed both the Alim course and a BA in Islamic Studies. He is the author of multiple books including Having Fun the Halal Way: Entertainment in Islam, Getting The Barakah: An Islamic Guide to Time Management and Best of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence.

6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Sayf

    June 22, 2010 at 12:35 AM

    Mash’Allah! Excellent work akhi! May Allah reward you.

  2. NaS

    June 22, 2010 at 7:08 AM

    Nice lecture bro….the root cause of divisions in family is abandoning sunnah of Prophet Mohammad and Quranic guidance.The animated movies also contain so much music in them,no matter how much we try, music can’t be avoided.Never mind your accent seems to be ”pashtoo” …:D

    • Ismail Kamdar

      June 22, 2010 at 8:20 AM

      Thats why I said there will always be some haram element in movies, no matter how good the content.

      Actually I have a South African Accent :)

    • Ismail Kamdar

      June 22, 2010 at 11:22 AM

      Please see the following fatwa about music in television shows found at this link:

      Question: Is it permissible to watch documentaries that contain background music if the information gained in the documentary is very beneficial to the Muslims?

      Answered by Sheikh Khâlid al-Mâjid:

      There is a distinct difference between hearing unlawful music and listening to it. A Muslim who hears unlawful music is sinless if the following circumstances prevail: 1. It is not his deliberate preference and choice to listen to the music. 2. He does not deliberately give the music his attention and concern. 3. The circumstances are such that he is not in a position to change them or at least object to them. Allah says: “A person has nothing but what he strives for.” [Sûrah al-Najm: 39] Therefore, if the program is lawful in itself, the background music will not make watching the program unlawful. And Allah knows best.

  3. Amir (MR)

    June 22, 2010 at 8:22 AM

    Added audio player.

  4. sakina

    June 22, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    mashallah very well said ….v all needed to hear this…may allah help us to make our homes peaceful…jazakallah khair brother

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