Hues of Arrogance: Part 1

Bismillah

“Arrogant? Who, ME?! Never. I’m a Muslim.”

Any Muslim who has studied the Quran and Sunnah in depth and detail would strive to stay away from one of the most disliked vices: arrogance. Be it vanity, conceit, stand-offish-ness, haughtiness, acting holier-than-thou, or “high-and-mighty” – they are careful of being tainted by any color from the spectrum of arrogance or kibr. These negative personality traits were present in those on whom Allah’s wrath descended in the past, and about which the followers of Islam have been duly warned in the Quran and ahadith.

The crux of the matter is, though, that how do we check ourselves in practical life, about whether we are becoming arrogant or not? What actions, qualities or behavior possess the hallmarks of “arrogance”? It is so much easier to nod our heads in unison when listening to warnings targeted at arrogant individuals, at a formal lecture explaining the Quran or Prophetic narrations, than to actually divorce ourselves from our self-absorbed lifestyles long enough to impartially identify traces of arrogance within our own behavior: in our social interactions; in our dealings with family members; in our very intimate thoughts and feelings. What can we do to hold up a magnifying glass to our own face, in order to pick out the microscopic, self-emulating zits that are missed by that first cursory glance at our personalities?

Rejecting the message of Islam, either openly (by verbal renunciation) or by deed:

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allah Bin Mas’ood [may Allah be pleased with him] that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.”
A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?”
He said, “Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”

[Sahih Muslim]

Rejecting any part of the Quran or Prophetic narrations silently (i.e. not saying anything outwardly, but obstinately refusing to obey Allah’s commands over time) or by open antagonism – verbally announced kufr and rejection – is indicative of arrogance.

Pharaoh, who is repeatedly quoted in the Quran for his arrogance, said: “O my people! Is not mine the dominion of Egypt, and these rivers flowing underneath me. See you not then? Am I not better than this one [Moses], who is “Mahin” [i.e. has no honor nor any respect, and is weak and despicable] and can scarcely express himself clearly?” [Surah Al-Zukhruf: 51, 52]

“O chiefs! I know not that you have an ilah (a god) other than me.” [Surah Al-Qasas: 38]

“I am your lord, most high.” [Surah Al-Nazi’at: 24]

Avoiding talking to, or eating with, poor or lower-class people; treating them brusquely and rudely:

“I am better than him (Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay.” – Iblees to Allah.

[Surah Al-A’raf 7:11-12]

“Get me a fork, you [bleep!]….” shouts a man at the waiter.
“Get out of my way, you [bleep!]…” shouts the angry woman behind the wheel at an old peasant lady crossing the street.

{In case you’re wondering, “bleep” indicates a sound used to censor curse-words on screen.}

The second trait of arrogance described in the hadith above is “looking down on people”. How you deal with servants and poor people, especially, indicates your true nature and ‘akhlaaq‘. Do you ignore them unless you need them for some work? Do you stay physically away from them, lest their germs or smell get on your ‘spotless’ persona? Do you consider yourself better than them, because you are more educated, well-off, hygienically clean, civilized and better-mannered? Are they like the fly that buzzes around your head – to be rudely whacked away if it gets too close? If so, this is because of arrogance.

“And he had property (or fruit) and he said to his companion, in the course of mutual talk: ‘I am more than you in wealth and stronger in respect of men.'”
[Surah Al-Kahf 18:34]

Considering some people lowly solely on the basis of their race or ethnicity:

“And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster.”
[Surah Luqman 31:18]

Another way of looking down on people, aside from the division of rich vs. poor, is to consider yourself better-looking, more talented, more capable, more attractive, or from a better lineage and social class than others you interact with. This latter trait, which leads to deep-rooted ethnic prejudice and conflict, is the most apparent among Muslims, even so-called pious ones, when choosing which families to socialize with, or which families to marry into.

It’s not uncommon to witness families with jobs at higher grades refusing to meet with families whose breadwinner is at a lower-grade job, no matter how nice the latter might be. Also, for most, the “blood-is-thicker-than-water” syndrome affects their better judgment to such an extent, that they’d overlook grave vices of kith and kin (those part of their “baradari“) but nit-pick the smallest errors and misgivings of another ethnic group. Usage of derogatory words to label other ethnic minorities is another grave sin which this arrogance gives rise to. E.g. “akhrote“, “paaparh”, “paindu”, “karanta“, “chuptta“, “kalla” etc.

Loving to receive praise and adulatory attention e.g. having people stand up for you when you enter:

The Prophet Muhammad [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] disliked it when people would stand upon his arrival to a gathering [Tirmidhi]. This is indicative of humility; it, therefore, goes without saying that if you expect or desire people to stand up for you when you arrive, it is because of arrogance. The same goes for desiring to show off, or to receive praise for your achievements from people; for this purpose, displaying trophies, prizes, and plaques, especially on walls where people will see them, is a commonly-witnessed trend among some homes.

Dressing nicely solely with the intention of outshining others:

It was narrated that Abu Hurairah [may Allah be pleased with him] said: “The Prophet said (or Abul-Qasim [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said): “Whilst a man was walking, dragging his garment with pride, with his hair nicely combed, Allah caused the earth to swallow him and he will go on sinking in it until the Day of Resurrection.””
[Sahih Al-Bukhari – 3297; Sahih Muslim – 2088]

If you dress up nicely as a means of expressing gratitude for Allah’s blessings upon you, it is praiseworthy, as indicated by the hadith that states that ‘Allah loves beauty’; however, if your intention behind trying to look good is to outshine others or to look the best among them, this is because of pride or arrogance.

Waiting to be greeted instead of initiating the salam:

Are you eager to initiate the salam greeting with a Muslim when you meet them? Or do you wait, and expect the other person to turn towards you, or worse, to leave what they are doing to walk towards you with an outstretched hand, to greet you with salam? Remind yourself that the one who is more humble always initiates the salam between two Muslims.

Expecting special attention at gatherings:

How often do you feel offended if people do not give you special treatment at a social gathering? Do you want to be seated at the head of the table, on the best sofa, or in the strategically most important place? Do you get upset if your host does not personally serve each dish to you, or does not walk you to the gate when you leave?

Dominating the conversation with “me, myself and I”:

“And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses.”
[Surah Luqman: 19]

Do you seem to go on and on about yourself in a monologue when having a normal, everyday conversation with some one else? How much interest do you take in your listeners’ lives? How many times do you show concern, ask questions about their well-being, or give an intent, sympathetic ear to their problems? Do people call you up often, or come to visit without your inviting them? Or is it the opposite?

Taking immediate offense if criticized:

Another indication of the presence of arrogance is to not take criticism, especially if it is well-intended and directed in a polite and appropriately-phrased manner, too well; to get immediately defensive, rude and hostile. Humility shows itself most beautifully in the way a person hurries to accept their mistake and to apologize even if they are not in the wrong.

Refusing to sit on the floor, if necessary, or to eat simple, coarse food:

Several times, one is faced with a situation in which they might need to sit on the floor, particularly when attending a dars or religious lecture, in which all the seats have already been taken. Arrogance will rear its head in the form of an aversion to sitting on the floor, physically below others.

Also, eating simple, coarse food such as lentils, bhaji or leftovers is considered too lowly, or not up-to-the-mark, if traces of arrogance exist in a person’s heart. I once read somewhere that wearing worn-out, but presentable clothing, eating coarse food (e.g. bran bread with yogurt or cheese) and sitting in the company of the poor and downtrodden people of society was a way (sunnah) of the pious predecessors, including most of the Companions. In our homes however, most of us make the maids eat on the floor, in separate cutlery that is not used by the members of the household. We do not even like it if the maid sits at the same level as we do, e.g. on the sofa.

“Don’t drink from that glass! The maid uses it.”

Hanging a garment so low that it drags behind on the floor:

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar [may Allah be pleased with him] said: The Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said: “Whoever lets his garment drag along the ground out of pride, Allah will not look at him on the Day of Resurrection.” Abu Bakr said: “Sometimes my garment slips down on one side, unless I pay attention to it.” The Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “You are not doing that out of pride.”
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, 3465]

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri and Abu Hurairah [may Allah be pleased with them both] said: “The Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah upon him] said that Allah says:

“Might is my garment and pride is my cloak; whoever seeks to compete with me concerning them, I will punish him.””
[Sahih Muslim, 2620]

If you know of any other traits witnessed in day-to-day living that are indicative of arrogance, please leave a comment below to inform the readers about it. Insha’ Allah, in my next post, I will be covering some Islamic remedies for this disease of the heart.