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Overcoming Anger Towards Allah

Overcoming Anger Towards Allah

By Aishah Mohd Nasarruddin

People respond differently to crisis. During troubled times, it is natural to be sad and exasperated be it the death of a loved one, being diagnosed with serious illness, trauma, natural disasters or any negative events. Some people become angry, and even turn that anger towards God. After blaming other people, themselves, and fate, they eventually blame Allāh.

“It just doesn't make sense. Why is Allāh doing this to me? How can Allāh allow this to happen? Haven't I done enough? I did everything because of Him but this is what I get. Do I deserve this?”

Yes, it is frustrating when you don't have all the answers. When things are difficult and out of our control, it is easy to snap. You yearn for the situation in which everything is secure, safe, and predictable. The relationship with God that you used to cherish does not seem comforting anymore.  You feel betrayed, abandoned and mistreated. You stop going to the mosque. You feel like your belief has shattered. You resent religious advice. Whether you are praying to Allāh or not, it does not seem to have any difference. You feel like the world has conspired against you and hold Allāh responsible for that harm, temporarily blind to the reality that afflictions and calamities befall everybody, even the prophets and messengers.

The Prophet Muḥammad (allallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) was asked, “O Messenger of Allāh, which of the people are the most sorely tested?” He said: “The Prophets, then those similar, then those similar. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of faith. If his faith is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his faith. Calamity will keep befalling a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him” (1).

If you are struggling with this anger, you are not alone.  Many people experience similar struggles. Rather than pulling away or trying to cover up the negative feelings, dealing with the issue in an open and honest way is more helpful in the long term. It may not be serious if you just have a flash of anger towards Allāh, and then the coping mechanisms kick in. However, if you have trouble minimizing the anger, you may need to seek help. Research has shown that anger towards God is associated with poor adjustment to bereavement, particularly when the anger remained unresolved over a 1-year period (2). In addition, all these may lead to depression, withdrawal, and a dangerous drop in religious faith.

Below is some advice that might be useful in dealing with this matter:

1. Be honest to yourself

The first part of healing is admitting that you have a problem. Admit that you are angry if even you feel ashamed and guilty by it. We can never fix the annoying aspects of our characteristics if we do not acknowledge the problem.

2. Crush the pride and be humble

Humility is not a weakness. Admit that you are powerless, not everything is manageable and there are times when you need to give up being in control. The trial that you are facing is not an indicator that Allāh's plan is a mistake, but rather it is the greatest evidence that Allāh is the one at work, not you. Allāh emphasizes this in the Qurʾān:

53:24

53:25

“Or shall man have what he wishes?

But to Allāh belongs the last (Hereafter) and the first (the world).” (Sūrat'l-Najm: 24-25)

 3. Be vulnerable to Allāh and make du'ā'

Al-Khaṭṭābi explains excellently the functions of du'ā': “The meaning of du'ā' is the servant's asking his Lord for His help, and asking His continuous support. Its essence is that a person shows his reliance and need to Allāh, and frees himself from any power or ability to change (any matter by himself). This characteristic is the mark of servitude, and in it is the human submissiveness” (3).

With that being said, keep praying and maintaining a religious environment even when you do not feel like it. Do not be arrogant. Even when you are angry, force yourself to turn back to Allāh and complain your grievances to Him. The prophets have shown us perfect examples of how they turned to Allāh during severe circumstances and showed their need of His aid:

When Prophet Ayyūb's ('alayhi'l-salām) family and wealth was taken away from him on top of his suffering from an awful disease, he called to Allāh: 

21:83

“Verily, adversity has afflicted me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who are merciful.” (Sūrat'l-Anbiyā': 83)

 

After Prophet Mūsa ('alayhi'l-salām) escaped from Egypt to avoid being killed, he arrived all alone in Madyan, he prayed to Allāh:

28:24

“O my Lord! Verily, I am needy to whatever good that you send down to me.” (Sūrat'l-Qaa: 24)

 

When Prophet Ya'qub was grieving over the fate of Yusuf and Benyamin, he cried:

12:86

“Verily, I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allāh!” (Sūrat'l-Yūsuf: 86)

 

Rather than being angry and cutting yourself off from Allāh, turning to Allāh actually relieves the distress. In fact, human beings are wired to be this way.

Neuropsychological research has found that greater religious conviction is associated with reduced activity in the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC), a part of the brain system that serves to regulate both cognitive and emotional processing. It suggests that religious conviction buffers against anxiety by successfully accommodating experience and focusing thought and perception away from anxiety-inducing events (4), meaning that people who pray during times of distress often cope better with affliction than those who don't turn to God. Surveys also have found that prayer was the most highly endorsed strategy for managing conflicts with God (5).

Furthermore, besides serving as a coping mechanism and as a method to seek help from Allāh so that the current misfortune is lifted, du'ā' is the only act that can change Allāh's decree. With Allāh's will, du'ā' can repel a future affliction that might fall onto a person.

Rasūlullāh (allallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, “Caution will not be any benefit against predestination, but du'ā' benefits (matters) that have occurred and that are (yet) to occur. And indeed, du'ā' meets with a calamity, and fights it until the Day of Judgment” (6).

Abu Hurairah (rayAllāhu 'anhu) also reported that Rasūlullāh (allallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) used to seek refuge from the evil of destiny, from falling into calamity, from the mockery of enemies and from the hardship of misery (7).

Hence, we should not underestimate the importance and necessity of making du'ā'. Instead, we should always sincerely ask Him to lift and remove any afflictions that have befallen or might befall us.

4. Re-evaluate your purpose of worship

Keep in mind that we don't become religious and righteous to be immune from calamities. Our obedience to Allāh is not a bribe for Him to give us something in return or spare us from trials. Allāh says in the Qurʾān:

22:11

There are among men some who serve Allāh, as it were, on the verge: if good befalls them, they are, therewith, well content; but if a trial comes to them, they turn on their faces: they lose both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss. (Sūrat'l- ajj: 11)

 

The majority of the mufāsirūn said that عَلَى حَرْف (on the verge) means 'in doubt'. As if a person who is standing on the edge of a mountain, a person who worships Allāh on the verge is unstable, flustered, weak and doubtful.  Some mufāsirūn said that it means 'with condition', i.e a person will continue worshipping Allāh if he acquires good, but he turns back to disbelief when he is afflicted with things he dislikes (8). Ibn Abbās explained this situation further in regard to people who came to Madīnah to declare themselves as Muslims. He said:

“One of them would come to Madīnah, which was a land that was infected with a contagious disease. If he remained healthy there, and his mare foaled and his wife gave birth to a boy, he would be content, and would say, `I have not experienced anything but good since I started to follow this religion.” But if a fitnah (affliction) strikes him (i.e. the disease of Madīnah befalls him, and his wife gives birth to a baby girl and charity is delayed in coming to him), the Shayān comes to him and says: 'By Allāh, since you started to follow this religion of yours, you have experienced nothing but bad things', and this is the fitnah” (9).

5. Move on

Dealing with anger towards Allāh cannot erase the sorrow, but by coping with it appropriately, it can lead to growth in faith and a closer relationship with Allāh. Transforming the anger into compassion and contentment is an empowerment. Trials are meant to increase our resilience, and a strong believer is better and more beloved to Allāh than a weak believer, even though there is goodness in both (10).

Life is beyond the Law of Attraction. Allāh has already written our story and the plots in our lives. But that does not mean we will like it. That is why īmān is extremely vital to hold on to. So what is īmān? Jibril asked this question to Rasulullah (allallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam)  when he came in the form of a man to teach the companions about religion. And he said, “That you affirm Allāh, His angels, His books, His messengers, and the Last Day, and that you affirm the Decree, the good of it and the bad of it” (11).

 


 References
  1. Reported by Al-Tirmidhi
  2. Exline, J. J., Park, C. L., Smyth, J. M. & Carey, M. P. (2011). Anger toward God: Social-cognitive predictors, prevalence, and links with adjustment to bereavement and cancer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(1), 129-148.
  3. Taken from Du'ā': The Weapon of the Believer by Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi, p. 22
  4. Inzlicht, M., McGregor, I., Hirsh, J. B., & Nash, K. (2009). Neural markers of religious conviction. Psychological Science, 20, 385-392.
  5. Exline, J. J., Prince-Paul, M., Root, B. L. & Peereboom, K. S. (2013). The spiritual struggle of anger toward God: a study with family members of hospice patients. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 16(4), 369-375.
  6. Reported by Al-Hakim, graded hasan by al-Albani
  7. Ṣahīh Muslim
  8. Tafsīr  Fathul Qadir, imām Asy-syaukani
  9. Tafsīr al- Qur'ān al-Adheem, imām Ibn Kathīr
  10. Ṣahīh Muslim
  11. Ṣahīh Muslim

 

imam iman madinah muhammad quran

About Aishah

71 comments

  1. It is a good article Aishah, but relating your own personal struggles would have made it more powerful.

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    • Asalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
      As Muslims, we are supposed to conceal our sins, and opening up about any personal experience would probably mean opening up about a sin.

      So it’s definitely better that she did not do that.

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    • this article helped me very much. i dont know what you are talking about s, why should she?

      its between her and Allah. not for you to know…

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  2. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of faith. If his faith is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his faith.

    Problems are a result of wrong thinking and sins. Circumstances are often to change one’s thinking. There are many people whose hearts are filled with jealousy and pride, who miss their daily prayers, who don’t treat their spouse well, who practice black magic, etc, and when they end up with a problem, they tell themselves (and other people) that it is a test from Allah SWT!

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    • That might be true if the world were nothing but a fantasy. But our problems in this world are very real. Just ask the survivors of the typhoon in the Philippines. Or did they bring that upon themselves? Did someone do something that offended God so much that it was a punishment for them all? The most common victims in these disasters are children, especially infants. So, are you saying that it was the babies’ sins or lack of prayers that caused Allah to smite them down? You can (and probably will) curse me for saying it, but I don’t think so. I don’t know what to believe, but my humanity makes me struggle with these things, and I do feel anger when this kind of suffering is happening.

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      • I agree. God is not into punishing infants and women, but might have something else planned for them in the future or after life. I guess we have to trust in God whatever test we get. This life is temp any way.

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  3. Jazakallah for this article. It is very well written and addresses a very important issue. I have a question: what do mean by transforming anger into compassion? Rgds

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    • Compassion is the opposite of anger. It means we take full responsibility of our resentment, see things from other perspective and expect the best from Allah. By doing this not only we can defuse the anger but also develop a deeper connection with Allah.

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      • “expect the best from Allah”
        but what does this mean?

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        • If I may try Fritz, “expect the best from Allah” means whatever that you deal with in this life, good or bad, there’s always a blessing in disguise. For example, you missed a train and you are late for an important interview. The next thing you heard in the news, A Train Crash – the train that you are supposed to be in. Or the line was cut off while you’re talking to a man that promised you million dollar worth of business deal. You’re so angry you lost that opportunity but not knowing that man is a culprit and a big liar! All this we wouldn’t know, but Allah knows… Always be positive when being tested. Just sharing what I have been experiencing.. Wallahualam bissawab.

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        • It means we expect good from Allah in times of ease and hardship, and believes that Allah wants good for us in whatever situations, that He will have mercy on us and and relieve us of the hardship.

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  4. Jazakallah khair for this very important post!

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  5. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!

    JazakAllaahu Khair!

    Umm….I was wondering if you could change the title of your article though… i got a shiver when I read that!

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  6. i like the issue that you’re trying to put forward here, it is not uncommon for Muslims to feel that way in these modern days. in my humble point of view, with my experience dealing with people of this mentality, i think the explanations haven’t properly addressed the issue. i would love to read more if someone were to write on this topic. jazakillah khayr sister for the big effort!

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    • You might be able to help her by offering some suggestions. You never know, your suggestions might just make it into another article inshaAllah!

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  7. i find myself being very depressed, sad and even angry at the choices i have made. i feel like i deserve to be angry at myself to the point where i feel bad making dua’a to Allah to forgive me and to help me. i don’t blame Allah for anything, the bad that happens to me is from my own hands. I did this to myself! i don’t know how to ask for forgiveness, i don’t know how to ask for help. perhaps i fear Allah will not help me. Only He knows why i feel this way. one day, i was having a conversation with some sisters, and they stated that we are not allowed to be depressed, or depression is a sin, i was on the notion that depression was an emotion, we cant control and emotion like that! that would be fake! please help me to understand depression, and asking forgiveness, i really need to know. before this depression eats me alive.

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    • Dear Sad

      I recommend that you read articles by Haleh Banani http://muslimmatters.org/author/haleh/ on our site. They may be beneficial to you InshaaAllah.

      WasSalamuAlaikum
      -Aly

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    • Aishah M Nasarruddin

      Dear sister, if you feel that you are very depressed and it significantly affects your normal function, I suggest that you seek professional help. Forgive yourself for the bad at the choices that you made, and do not hesitate to turn to Allah. Allah will surely listen to your prayers, assist you and forgive you if you sincerely ask for His forgiveness.

      Allah says in the quran “O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Az-zumar:53].

      Do not despair of Allah’s mercy and do not live in the past. Start to rectify your situation from now on at your own pace and associate yourself with people who will support you without being judgmental or make you feel worse. It’s never too late to turn a new leaf.
      May Allah ease your affairs sister. Hope this helps.

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      • For the past two months I have been afflicted by one adversity after another. It’s like when it rains it pours. When the first adversity happened ( my house was burglarized ) I told myself I had to put to it behind me in order to stay sane.
        I know if I had allowed myself to wallop in self pity and despair I would soon be swallowed into a whirlpool of depression.
        Then I was hit by another adversity. This one even worst than the previous one. So again I consoled myself that I was lucky than my fellow victims of natural disaster.
        Property and household belonging were damaged then followed by the invasion of termites.
        The final straw that broke the camel’s back is my house was burglarized again and my collection of jeweleries was stolen.
        Upon the discovery I felt like a deflated dummy. I couldn’t even cry. As if the lifeblood was drained out of me.
        I asked myself, Is Allah testing me because I have been allowing my prayers to be distracted by thoughts of my losses? Because I’ve placed material things above him.
        Like a drowning person I’m struggling to hang onto something to keep me afloat. I have to cling to faith to keep me sane.
        Whenever I think of my biggest loss I’ll feel a squeeze on my heart.
        But I would never be angry with Allah. All this while I foolishly believed that disobedience has brought the human beings here so total obedience is our ticket to get back to the grace of Allah.
        It took a succession of adversities to make me realize that trials and tribulations are part and parcel of our fleeting lives here. Why me isn’t in the equationespecially if you are a believer.

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  8. i’m upset and have been for a long time now. nothing seems to go the way i need it to go. i’m depressed and see no point of life or hope.

    i make dua but now my patients has had enough too, because i’ve been asking for years and there’s no answer. i can only see one way now and that’s to die but i feel scared of doing that too because death and its pangs are painful too.

    im sick of people saying ‘there’s probably something better for you ‘ you’l get it later just wait’ ‘it may not be good for you’ you’ll get it in the hear after’. i am absolutely sick of these ‘sayings’ . i want what i want with no compromise, substitute or delay (its late enough the amount of time i’ve been waiting). you said “du’ā’ is the only act that can change Allāh’s decree”. then if somethings not good for then allah should make it good for me and give it to me. if he can make the world in 6 days then this is just a small request, im sure its not difficult for him and in return i’ll be happy which means instead of moaning to him or being angry at him ill finally get the chance to sit down and thank him and praise him. but he just doesn’t understand. why make us if he isnt going to listen to us. most times his plans really hurt and thats not fair.

    dont know what to do. i wish allah had a line then atleast i could have rang and got some one-one response. i’d rather die than live this miserable life, where oppressors get the best of life and those who strive get nothing. hereafter is something to work for but you cant exactly live a life full of pain either. you need to be able to focus on your present to prepare for your future (hereafer).

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    • i can understand ur situation….. sometimes even years pass by and we think its the same, only bad is happening to us. everytime something unfortunate happens we think it wont happen again…. but please belive me u need to have unconditional tawwakul in Allah SWT….. no matter how many times u feel betrayed or hurt just lift urself up nd say Allah is there and it is just a test from him, or perhaps he has something better. we as human beings never learn anything the easy way, we always learn it the hard way and that is when it really works….. sometimes all the misfortunate eventss happen so that we learn something….. because what happend to me because of my own mistake made me learn soo much Alhamdulillah.. Allah SWT has guided me soooo much i cannot start to explain, i feel so blessed now, even though at that time when lot of unfortunate things used to happpend to me and i used to pray thinking my worries would go away…. but it did not go immmediately. because everythin is a plan from Allah SWT….just have trust in sh ALLAh u will feel the same way im feeling right now alhamdulillah. i pray for u in my dua dat H e forgives and guides you. ameen.

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  9. I came across this site in hopes of finding some help as I feel hopeless and very very hurt.
    At times my mind goes blank and I dnt know what to do. At times like this I wonder why Allah tests some ppl so much? I know that they say Allah tests those that he loves the most, but why? Sometimes we have some questions that cant be answered. I feel iike my life itself has been a struggle. I agree with Shirin above that its hard to hear those sayings from ppl, and to be patient. Well were all human beings and only have so much patience. Im a divorced grl in my late 20′s now, its becoming harder and harder to get married these days. Ppl label u, judge u, and the list goes on. I feel ike Ive given up on the marrying part or ever meeting someone decent, at times I dont even wanna hear that my time will come too. Its tough, I know this lifes a test and that Allah has put us here to see how well we will do in this world but dont sum ppl deserve sum happiness too? I have suffered from a bad marriage, divorce, depression, no job, I just feel like everything’s upside down. Sometimes I feel so down I dont even care abt living anymore and give up, Im sure a lot of ppl wud having gone thru with what I have. Suicide is haraam but Allah knows that ppl can only take so much, I dnt wanna end my life for being in this much pain. I wish there was an easier way for things to get better. I feel embarassed yet so eager to find answers that Im writing here but at this point in time I just dont know what to do. Ive had a lot of trouble finding a job recently which I thought wud keep me busy, and in that too I have no luck. Its like sumtimes I feel like Allah hates me? idk cuz how can everything go wrong. I wish Allah helps all those that are suffering, want answers, and are in need. Ameen

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    • Dear sister,

      Hold on, hold on. May Allah ease your suffering and grant you sustenance, sakinah and closeness of Allah. Sometimes Allah delays our duas so He in His infinite wisdom can give you something better. Don’t give up. The people who judge you and label you weren’t worth your time. Allah saved you from them. And Allah loves you, He loves hearing your voice as you cry out to Him.

      Allah (swt) tells Jibreel to delay the response to the du`a’ of a servant because Allah (swt) loves hearing [her] voice [Tabarani]
      There are many sisters who are going through exactly what you are going through- read the article on Marriage Crisis.
      .
      Even though sometimes they are so strong, your feelings are feelings and they will pass. You’re not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass. If you can, please get some professional help. You may be suffering from depression.

      Read as much Quran and make dhikr as you can. Dhikr calms our fires. Go out in the sun, i know this sounds silly but being in nature helps.
      Set small goals and achieve them and celebrate your achievement. Even if it is one more resume sent, one more phone call made. You can control your happiness; write down what you are thinking to yourself and read it and then you will see how you may be self-talking yourself into negativity. Despite everything bad that may have happened to you, you have a beautifu, sacred soul that is from Allah.

      Talk to a counselor or a hotline. Ameen to all your duas.
      .

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      • Dear sister,
        salaam
        Thank you for ur reply its nice to read it.
        I appreciate ur kind words and surely this past summer has been somewhat of a test for me, but alhamdulillah I got a job yesterday and Allah listened to my prayers. Somedays are harder than others but the fact that Im holding on and still doing dua or asking Allah is what matters. My mom also tells me that there’s someone better out there. When its ur mother telling u, its the most comforting of all cuz she understands ur pain and others like u guys do too especially if ur a grl.

        I will surely read the articles on marriage and crisis. Im so glad that I came across this site, and others cuz they are bringing me closer to my deen and not leading me astray. Everything happens for a reason.

        Yes, depression is definitely a factor and I am seeking help. The best place where I find peace is to read articles in times like this cuz it gives me some hope. Counselors can only listen so much, and tell u to read this book. But reading namaaz or quran has its own effect. I have been going out for walks, and feel better wen I stay outta the house during the day its gud for sumone thats down or depressed so i heard. I do definitely like to write so I will take ur advice and start to write my goals, and maybe talking out loud can help correct the negativity and make me positive. I am blessed to have a loving mom and da who really have been supportive.

        Thank you again for ur encouraging words, may Allah bless u take care sister.

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  10. 2nd time reading this. I really appreciate this. Still struggling with a lot of anger. It comes and goes and comes back again.

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    • Dear Sophia,

      Salaam

      I am going thru the same thing and honestly the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that Allah is always there. Yes, at times its hard but its a constant struggle. I was very angry too a couple months ago and found peace in turning to Allah. I still need to pray more often and read the Quran and finding peace of mind in sites like this. Another gud site is: Islamicanswers.com

      May Allah help u and alleviate all ur probelms and those afflicted with distress Ameen.

      tc,

      N

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    • Salam Sophia,

      I can relate to what u going through now as I too struggling with a lot of anger and question on my mind with the “why” question and feeling of unfairness. Like u say too, it comes and goes and come back again and the more I try to forget the situation the more it come back. Sometimes, I really feel hopeless and just want to give up and what I do hate the most is when my faith in Allah is losing out. Sometimes I just couldn’t help it and wanted to scold Allah though I know I can’t do that but the feeling sometimes can be so overwhelming that only tears could ease myself. No one exactly know what happening to me not even my family as I know they will definitely going to judge & label me except for one of my friend which come from different faith but that doesn’t help it either and I really weary out. Is been 1 1/2 years and nothing seem to be changing except that the hurt is not as painful as the beginning which I’m thankful to Allah for it, Alhamdullilah but still I’m be longing for peaceful and happiness so why is it so hard for Allah to grant it to me while the person who start all the nonsense & make me fall can have everything and his happiness back. I feel life is so unfair, really unfair and I really don’t know what should I do now. I hope pls is there any kind soul out there to motivate and make my faith grow stronger coz I really don’t want to be angry at Allah when I know im juz slave only..

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      • Salam Siti,

        Sorry for being blunt because sugar-coated words won’t help.
        I think you are behaving like a martyr but for the wrong cause which traps you in a your own world of misery.
        The only thing that can set you free is to put your unhappy past behind. Move on and don’t stay bitter because the personwho

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        • Sorry there’s a glitch…
          the person who’s responsible for your unhappiness is blissfully happy, so undeservedly unfair. But whoever says life is fair is living in ignorance.
          Do you think he cares that you are suffering? Does he look like he’s suffering from guilt. So what’s your purpose of wasting your self-inflicted unhappiness when the person who caused it has moved on?
          When in pain read Quran, when in confusion read your Quran… Trust me you’ll find peace if not fleeting happiness in this world. If long term perfect world you want you’ll find it in the Garden of Bliss.

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  11. salam
    i completely recognise myself in shirin’s comment. i got divorced in 2005. i’ve turned 41 last tuesday and i’m still alone. i’ve been struggling all my life, for everything, to overcome sexual abuse for a family member, to make ends meet, to go to college, to find a husband, and you can add health issue on top of that. it’s endless. and i have no support from the community judging divorced women as you know. no support from my family. no support from my non muslim friend who don’t understand why i just don’t date anyone without bothering myself with religion or marriage.
    i don’t know what to do anymore. i’ve wanted to get married for 21 years since i converted to islam. i need love and i need companionship. i want to have a fmily of my own. the only thing that keeps me from committing suicide is the fear of hell. and i definitely i don’t want shaytan to win.

    and yes i’m depressed and angry and feel entitled to it. i’ve tried my best and this is where i’m standing now. after all these years trying to play by the rules, avoiding haram and searching for hallal, i’m alone, i might never have children and i might die as i’ve lived, lonely as a cursed dog.

    if you have any tip to stay grateful and obedient in my situation, please let me know.

    salam

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    • Salaam sister,

      After reading ur post it made me think how I too can definitely relate to you and understand what you are going thru. I understand how hard it is to be patient and still think that things will work out.
      Have u tried your local mosque? Any of the single muslim sites? Some are legit and may work for you as they have for others. Maybe you should get in touch with a matrimonial service that can help you along that way. I know theres one that actually assist u throughout the process. I cant think of the name but google, or even on facebook if you put in “Singles Perfect Match, and related search terms youll come up with some things.

      Have u tried to join a group? Those can be beneficial for ppl suffering from depression, or seeking counseling in this time as well? I would suggest plz try to keep ur self as busy as possible and Allah’s reward will definitely be worth it.

      I hope this helps.

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    • Salaam Alaykum sister,
      It sounds like you are in a painful, dark, place that you cannot seem to pull yourself out of. I know and understand exactly how you are feeling. But, I write to tell you not to give up hope just yet. A few thoughts.

      First, you may likely be suffering from depression. Have you ever tried to get a clinical diagnosis? If not, I would recommend it. Depression will compound your problems (e.g. by impairing your normal thought process, causing you to have very low energy, poor mood, etc.). So, if you do have that, it’s better to know that up front and try to deal with it head on, before tackling more serious issues.

      Whether or not you do have depression, there are some other basic things you can do. I really recommend this book called “Self Esteem,” the Third Edition. It’s by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning. It goes through some basic exercises that you can do to help SEE things in a more positive light. Often, when things are not going right, suddenly people start seeing EVERYTHING with a negative lens and questioning/doubting everything about themselves. I truly believe this is Shaytaan at work, and the book gives some really nice techniques, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that can help start building ourselves back up.

      Once you are mentally in a good place again, insha’ALlah you can focus on your other issues. For example, you mention you are lonely and want to be married. Well sister, 41 years of age is older, but it’s not past marriage age! Trust me, there ARE Muslim men out there who would consider marrying a sister of your age if the other criteria (taqwa, etc.) were there. So you just have to keep pushing yourself to look, little by little.

      Also, have you considered polygamy? I know, I know. It may not be ideal, or what you thought of your ideal life. But you need to ask yourself this: if you had the chance to be married to a practicing, loving Muslim man, who made you feel fulfilled and good about yourself and helped take care of you, would you still say no and continue being lonely? All because you would be a second wife?

      Anyway, just some humble thoughts I think you can consider. I truly wish the best for you, and I will be praying for you.

      Abu Yusuf

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  12. Allah Abandoned Me.
    I prayed for 10 years to find a good faithful Muslim wife. Never dated, never had a girlfriend, never did anything bad on those fronts. Then finally I was granted a wife who prayed, was humble, wanted to marry me without issues. I did istakharah and we got our nikkah. Turns out she doesnt pray, gets angry when I pray, broke off relationships with much of my family through screaming matches and threats to even kill. Thanks a lot Allah, that is just what I needed.
    I have stopped praying and my will to live is very low.

    I had women at work who were very interested in me, but I never gave credence since they were not Muslim. Now I wish I had married them. A muslim wife was not worth the sadness and pain.

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    • I am struggling with my anger. Two and a half ago back, I buried my wife following a very sudden and tragic death. My children and I continue to struggle with the aftermath of her absence in our lives every day. At first, I really struggled with the anger I felt over this, but life moves on. I had to help pick them back up and try to put our lives back together again. But I can’t shake the sense that my children have never done anything but be good their whole lives, and they are innocent victims. I kept asking myself if this really was what Allah’s Will is for them? A life tinged with the sadness of a Mother lost in childhood?! They played by the rules, and showed humility, honor and respect to Allah, and got this? I don’t believe they deserved this, and I don’t feel that her being taken from them exemplifies any sign of Divine mercy or goodness. Instead, they live with the sadness of a void left in their young lives.

      Recently, I’ve been reading about the typhoon in the Philippines. Natural disasters, large and small, kill innocent men, women, and children by the thousands. Sometimes it’s swift (and we call that a mercy), but often times, it’s not. An injury festers, or a disease is caught due to dirty water, and the weakening results in a slow death. Hunger due to environmental conditions beyond the control of humanity results in the slow, terrible death, as it does for hundreds of our brothers and sisters almost every day. Or a new, aggressive virus infects people simply going about their business in life, and more innocent lives are snuffed out. This is not the action of God against evil people. This world is FULL of evil people, and they seem to be doing quite well for themselves, really. Instead, this business of death goes on and on with no stop, and has been going on for millennia. This seems to be part of Allah’s plan for humanity. When I think that creation is such that suffering and death is the purposeful end of the path of life for every one of us, then it causes me to wonder what this tells me about the nature of Allah?! This greatly pains me because I want to believe in a Good God, but my eyes are open to the suffering in the world around me. How do I rectify this?!

      When I feel especially angry like this, I undertake a 24 hour total fast. It’s really a kind of hunger strike to God over what I see as injustices being perpetrated against us, and in every direction you can look. And sometimes, like right now, I find that I simply can not bring myself to pray even while I am fasting. Is it unreasonable to find ourselves unable to focus the necessary motivation to humble ourselves before Allah and prostrate when Allah seemingly cares so little for human life and dignity and chooses not to act when we need action? And I’m not talking about having an angel descend to give me an Xbox. I’m talking about saving humanity from this endless, constant suffering. If we as Muslims are constantly engaged with all of our sisters and brothers in unceasing worship of Allah, constant human suffering seems to my eyes to be the only answer that I can discern that we are getting back from God. How am I to digest that?! I’m pretty sure that if either you or I had the capacity to save a human life but deliberately chose not to, that would be considered an act of supreme evil. But if God chooses not to save someone, even someone calling out desperately for aid, that’s considered part of the Divine Plan? How should we look at the reality of suffering and death all around us and not have questions?

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      • @Struggling:

        Salaam brother,

        I really wanted to comment on your post earlier as it shook me up a bit thinking why someone would write this. Im sorry for your loss. I know how hard and painful it can be and truly Allah does test those that he loves the most. Yes, it is very hard to comprehend that wen one is going thru a situation like yours but wen you ask yourself is this life temporary or permanent things start to make more sense. This life is a test brother. Often times we are so consumed in this life we forget that wut our actual purpose is here. Sure it is hurtful and painful to go thru such trials and tribulations but plz do know that this isnt eternal life.

        We cant think Allah (SWT) is the one that is bad nauzubillah. He would never want bad for us, He is most merciful. Personally, I have experienced a lot since a young age I got married at 17, was in an abusive marriage, had hardships continuously in making ends meet, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in my twenties. Alhamdulillah I can say that through all of this Allah is the only one that can pull u out of it, help u, and get u bak on track. Even wen I knew I had such a serious illness alhamdulillah it was a miracle but I got better. Where was I at fault? I was so young, hardly even lived life but tested young too.

        Allah has a plan for all of us, we just have to have ultimate faith in Him. Read the Quran in translation it will give your heart peace and you peace of mind. Try to pray as much as you can. ITs hard wen your depressed but the biggest test is making an effort and letting Shaitaan win over you. Counseling, groups will help u as well. Im sure there is someone there for u as well and who will care for ur children inshAllah. Plz dnt be disheartened, Allah is always there for u.

        May Allah make ur problems better and you see happiness again Ameen.
        take care

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    • Salam brother,

      Plz dnt think Allah has abandoned you. Allah never abandones his servants. Its us that create complications, if ppl are bad thats not His fault rite?

      I too was married like u and was in a bad marriage and wonder y I had to go thru that with a abusive, hurful husband. And now I have been single and havent met the right guy for 10 years.

      Allah tests those that He loves a lot. The reward is much greater inshallah, I know how hard it is to digest that info at times but you have to keep your head up dont let shaitaan take over you.

      Allah has already made pairs for everyone and its in the Quran too, have faith brother. May Allah make things easy for you Ameen

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  13. salam
    this is also one of the many things that pisses me off about my situation, i’m attractive and get unwanted attention from non muslim guys everywhere i go, or muslims that don’t match my needs (not pious enough, already married, too young, too old, etc…).
    i feel weak and i feel as tempted as the jews tested in the quran who could get plenty of fishes in the sea only on the day of shabbat when it was haram !
    to my eyes it is already a trial to keep yourself on the right tracks and this is unfair to have double trouble while all you ask for is a spouse.

    anis, i can only tell you to keep praying because even if you feel like you’ve been fooled Allah is still in charge of your life and you can’t turn your back on Him without consequences.

    as long as she is a believer you can marry a non muslim woman, help yourself ! i’ do the same if i could.

    hold on at a minimum level of practice no matter what because it will protect you and help you even if you don’t feel the effects now.after the crisis has passed you’ll be proud of yourself and happy inchallah.

    salam

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  14. Salam dear brothers and sisters, I understand your pain and frustrations but please do not stop making dua to Allah. Detach from your past because that is the source of your pain and concentrate on your present. If Allah tests you with difficulties in finding a good spouse then in the meantime, fill the void with something else. Find commitment that can give you alternative purpose and connect to people through other means, i.e voluntary work, adopt a child, social service, inshaallah you can reduce the pain and loneliness by keeping yourself busy.

    I know this is easier said than done but never lose faith that Allah indeed listens to your every prayer and He has the best plan for you:

    The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘There is no man who prays to Allah and makes dua’ to Him, and does not receive a response. Either it will be hastened for him in this world, or it will be stored up for him in the Hereafter, so long as he does not pray for something sinful, or to cut the ties of kinship, or seek a speedy response.’ They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what does seeking a speedy response mean?’ He said, ‘Saying, “I prayed to my Lord and He did not answer me.”’” (Al-Tirmidhi, 3859; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 852).

    May Allah ease your hardship and replace your pain with sweetness of iman.

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  15. The second last heading, hmm…
    So what is the purpose to our worship? (I know of
    course, I’d just like to hear it in words I can repeat
    To myself as affirmations)

    JAK

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  16. alhamdulillah…. I HAVE GONE THROUGH a lot but i feel so blessed to be guided by Allah SWT…… my Allah guide all of us and forgive us and give us jannah when we go in the life hereafter in sh Allah. ameen

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  17. I just tried to look on the website for issues like this and I knew for sure that there are people in the world who share their problems and look for solutions in this case.

    Reading all the comments and hearing grievances of brothers and sisters, I feel my problems are undoubtedly very little. I m completely frustrated over not finding a Job for over a year from now, aged parents, my brother is jobless, increasing debts due to joblessness, wandering from place to place trying to find a job. Adding to this , My marriage proposal was terminated six months ago for this reason and many others. Now when there is another proposal at hand, I am still jobless… This is the last try and I wouldn’t marry again if this proposal is broken too.

    I used to constantly make dua, seek istighfar, giving charity,voluntary fasts, fore front to help Muslims in my neighborhood, helping the revert Muslims and so. this is not bragging about my selfand I know that I’ve sinned a lot too. I continued too seek Allah’s help and do istighfar , trusting that he would help me out.
    But as days continued, I started to become weak, thinking whats the use of all things i’ve been doing for the sake of Islam and its people with good intention..? Why is this happening to me despite months of seeking Allah’s help, No help comes…? So many people advise and console me saying don’t worry everything will be alright. Everybody makes dua for me , My family ,my relatives, my friends and others, yet none of their prayers are answered? I have no where to go, None to ask except Allah and only He will answer, but what do I do if Allah Himself does not respond?
    I’ve tried all the advises listed in this article and also others not mentioned here. I just didnt simply sit home, Trusting in Allah and wait for an opportunity to come to me. Rather, I put my efforts as human. I tried hard, very hard, used all kinds of strategies, contacted all people I know. Yet No results.

    Now the situation is such that last 3 months I m very irregular at prayers and find no difference whether i pray or I don’t pray. Life is just the same as it continues to be. Since I started to feel that it makes no sense , I do alll good deeds and my life and career continues this way.

    Yet, I still have fear of Allah and Him Alone.! So i try to push myself to at least perform Salah, sometimes with a hope or some times without any hope for getting my problems solved.

    All those grievances of people I’ve read, its indeed very uncomfortable to imagine. People in my town say, If a person has a Migraine headache, only he will know the PAIN of it..!

    I m getting ideas in my mind on what next if things don’t go well in next few days. I really don’t like those ideas on how to lead my life . But I find no choice.

    Wa salam

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  18. Sallam to all

    I am very desperate and in sever calamity that is destroying me daily, I am constantly calling for Allah’s help and guidance, my repeated duas and calls hasn’t been answered and it has been a long time seeking a relief through sallat and duas. I am at a stage in life having truly lost hope; wishing I was not alive every morning I wake up. My faith is diminishing and I am in despair, O’Allah I am asking by your power strength and mercy to relive me of my calamity I beg you at this moment, I fear dying as a non believer…brothers and sister I beg you to make dua for me.

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    • Asak brother,

      I haven’t been on this site for some time but as soon as I saw ur comment I felt very sad and concerned. What is it that’s bothering u? IF u feel comfortable sharing. I understand it’s tough being tested, but there will be ease after this Dnt wrry. I know it’s rough being patient but ur reward will be much greater. Just recently, I was having trouble at my previous job that I had to leave. I was so worried and didn’t know how id really get another job, especially due to financial difficulties but alhamdulillah unexpectedly Allah helped me. I will pray for u too. May Allah ease ur hardships and grant u ease. Ameen summa ameen.

      Plz tc of urself and Dnt loose hope :)

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      • Also, plz read Surah muzammil in times of difficulty. My moms told me this is very helpful.

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        • Tried it all.. Nothing will change..!! Had enough of all this.Life is still d same and makes no difference to me whether I pray or I don’t. My condition now is No money, No Food, Jobless, and over burdened with debts! I hate this!

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          • @Brother Muhammad:
            I dont know what ur situation is but it sounds like ur going thru a lot.
            Plz dnt give up, if ur in a situation of financial difficulty try reaching out to ur local masjid. I dont know where u are or else I would try to refer u to some places. Life is a test for us all, yes its hard but this time will pass too and I hope things get easy for u too inshAllah. tc

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  19. Bismillah hir Rahman Nir Raheem In the name of Allah The most Compassionate The most Merciful I’m writing this in hope that insha’Allah it helps someone. We are human beings we will make mistakes ie sin major or minor and these will lead to depression anxiety or other illenesses. we have to make sincere repentance for Allah SWT to forgive us. Yes u are crying because now u have become a victim of satan u fell into temptation because u didn’t realise or u didn’t have knowledge either way ur a victim don’t let the whispers tell u otherwise u aren’t to blame for the sin u just fell into temptation to better understand what I mean read the story of prophet Adam PBUH. So now we are suffering because of our weaknesses faults etc but who is in control? Allah SWT who will help us turn it around? Allah SWT. Our lord is Allah SWT creator of all that exists we have a book like the Qur’an we have ahadith sayings Of rasool Allah salAllahu alayhi wa salum so how are we lost? The problem is in us we can’t blame Allah we can’t blame the deen it’s us it’s us it’s us we are lazy we read 5 salaahs a day and think we have done enough No we have to do more the prophet Muhammad saw use to say istighfar 70 plus times a day he would stand in prayer till his feet became swollen he was a nabi a rasool I agree but Allah SWT has said he is the best example for us so why don’t we follow this example that Allah SWT has blessed us with? Because we aren’t sincere we just think we are satan is deceiving us we can and have to do so much more if we are getting a little ill health our sins are falling away I am happy with Allah SWT as my Lord and Muhammad SAW as my messenger and Islam as my religion. Yes depression/ anxiety are such that u feel weak but what about when Allah bestows strength upon u a little respite if u will what do u do with that time? See and this is why life is a test every last second is a test. Knowledge is power insha’Allah I will make dua to Allah SWT to grant us strength in these difficult times I have been lazy, took my deen for granted when I had good health, appreciation has come through ill health Allah SWT is The Greatest shame we don’t realise it. May Allah SWT bless u guys with the best of this world and the best of the hereafter and protect u from the punishments of the graves and hell Ameen please make dua for me to brothers and sisters I need knowledge I’m weak against satan without it :( sorry if I’ve confused u that wasn’t my intention jazakallah khair for ur time May Allah bless u and ur family asalaamu alaikum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol ps I know I’m dumb lol don’t hold that against me thank u :)

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    • @Nasser:

      Assalamualeikum,

      Thank you for posting. You have really put some time and emphasis in this which is helpful to many of those that may turn to this article/blog for support. Its a great reminder of all the blessings we have. May Allah reward you for sharing this with those that are in difficulty, may Allah make ease for those that are experiencing hardship and difficulty, sorrow, and are in pain. Ameen.

      No u are not dumb at all, thanks for sharing such valuable information and may Allah give us hidayat to do this as well.

      tc

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  20. Jazakallahu khair for this amazing post.

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  21. Assalamualaikum,

    Like some here, I do feel an anger toward Allah when something I do not wish to happen it happened. I don’t know how to explain here coz what I have been going through is alittle bit different from some of the situation here and in fact I have never felt such a great test like this before. Is been 1 1/2 yrs and I still feel this resentment and unjust. I’m so angry that the person who lie to me & causes me pain can get all the happiness while here I’m lose everything and feel lost still searching for my direction. Though asking for help & support from my friend who have go through the same situation as me does help a little bit but still it doesn’t bring me closer to Allah Swt as she come from different religious & faith. Cause of this hurt, resentment & the question which I keep asking in my mind “why does God have to allow it to happen when I myself trying hard not to allow it to happen to me” have made barrier between me and Allah & I hate it coz I don’t want to lose my faith in him. I try asking for help to someone who religious and muslim friend to guide me to Allah, however instead of helping me he thought I have ulterior motive and tell me is wrong to use God as a reason to ask him for help. I feel even more devastated and sad even more, its been 1 1/2 years I been crying and I’m tired of it and I wanna get out of this situation and forget everything and move on cause is so painful & at the same time I don’t want to lose my faith..

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  22. Here’s a video for anybody who is going through anxiety depression or any kind of sadness even, hope it helps u as it helped me inshaAllah http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J1oK-MBVstg

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  23. Asalamoalikumwrwb,

    I will share my own experience. Somebody asked what is the purpose of ibadah, submissiveness if not to avoid getting in trials as per second last point. The point is that , our worries ,stress, anger and resentment is born out of out thoughts and perceptions far more than the situations of our lives. Once upon a time, i was going through a very rough time in my life, no home, no money,4 kids and nearest and dearests that seemed to hurt me at every opportunity they got. I felt frustrated with life. I felt ungrateful to the point that i was angry with Allah Tallah. And lets face it that, is what being angry with Allah Tallah is. When we are angry at this this and this in our lives we are forgetting all of that is going our way. We forget to see that Allah Tallah isnt behind our loses, He is also behind our gains. I always blamed Allah Tallah for my situation, i never thanked Him for things that i had. We all have things that we would be completely miserable without. To people who lost wives, i would say you have kids. To people in disasters, they still have lives. As long as you are alive things can happen, change can take place. Knowledge is power and keeping good company is even better. Find scholars who practise what they preach, respect them and donot let they thoughts of anger over whelm you. People have gone through worse and the strong person is he who picks up himself. Allah Tallah is a trasure trove of help. If we go to him kicking and screaming we just miss the hand he is holding out to us for help.

    Ya ayyu hal insan ma gharaqa bi rabbi kal kareem.
    Oh human, what deluded you regarding your Rabb, the kareem.

    Quran is the book that can set us free, that can ease of our loads, only if if we learn it from the true follower of its First teachers. Think about is ,this is why the prophets came. The whole struggle of Rasool Allah sallalahu alaihi wasalm was to teach, preach and implement Quran. And who much we neglect it today. Subhan Allah may Allah Tallah give us the good sense and sincerity to soak up the wonders of His message. Think of it as an armour that saves you from all hurt and misery.

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  24. Excellent work by Aishah Mohd Nasarruddin. Advices given by him are really very soothing. I like his points. Life is beyond the Law of Attraction. Allāh has already written our story and the plots in our lives. It is really very true.

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  25. I agree with Aishah Mohd Nasarruddin thoughts. Keep in mind that we don’t become religious and righteous to be immune from calamities. Our obedience to Allāh is not a bribe for Him to give us something in return or spare us from trials.

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  26. You may find it strange that a Christian is reading your site. I can assure you that I mean no offense. We worship the same God and there are many who do not understand this simple truth. I do not find comfort in the realization that so many of your faith suffer from the same affliction as I.The knowledge does; however reinforce my belief that we are more alike than different and that in our flesh we grasp at the things that give us comfort.

    I don’t always find peace in prayer, some times I feel worse after prayer than I did before I poured out my heart. There are periods of time that I find it very hard to pray and today is one of those days. Even when I remind myself that the greatest power in the Universe is in control of all things, it doesn’t help. I know that I am still angry about my sons death, the suffering of those in this life, how little control we have over the things of this life, and many other things.

    I see others of your faith and mine who have survived great sorrow and come out of a situation with such grace and peace and I don’t how they were able to get past the anger. I pray for that kind of love, devotion, understanding and acceptance of the fact that everything of this world is only temporary, that it is not where we truly belong, and that what awaits those who know God is a place that will make the days we spend here but a second in time.

    Thanks you for your article. It is an encouragement to me.

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    • I am of the belief that the struggle to submit is rewarded in and of itself. It is only by going through that struggle that hyou strengthen yourself enough to reach a stage where submission to events is easy.

      *Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*

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    • Thank you for being here Sylvia. I understand how you feel as we are all human beings and definitely share universal human values. Afflictions do not discriminate, befall everybody, and we struggle with many similar issues.

      Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself time and more chance to overcome that anger. When it comes to emotional and spiritual struggles it takes consistent reinforcement to finally accept the bitter reality and be at peace with it.

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  27. ALLAH SWT tests those who he loves. if you lost ur wife etc, just remember , ALLAH LOVES YOU, so isn’t that enough to get through anything?
    ALLAH gives us so much, yet when one bad thing happens, people turn their backs, how foolish does this look to ALLAH SWT? he still gives you a bed to sleep in at night with warmth yet some people sleep in the cold in Syria.
    I hope this helps.i hope ALLAH SWT helps us all. AMEEN

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    • I’m so sorry to say this but how many tests can one person endure? Is there ever an end to this. :(

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      • “The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the disbeliever” – Hadith of Prophet (SAW)

        It is a coincidence I was listening to something this morning and Shaykh AbuAbdissalam (h) was saying that this entire life is a test. For some it is a test of poverty, for some it is a test of riches. In another khutbah I was listenig to by Brother Ghulam Kehar, he touched this topic – everyone is tested, everyone’s test is different. In fact I had uploaded it and you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/aly-balagamwala/khutbah-patience-tests-ghulam-kehar. I think you will find it beneficial in sha Allah.

        Best Regards
        Aly

        *Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*

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        • I understand what ur trying to say…
          I just wish that if it were more of a test for some ppl (like myself and others) then y is it easier for some other Muslims? I know there are some questions I probably will nvr get answers too but I just wonder.
          The ppl that endure tests have hearts, feelings, emotions, they arent senseless, I wish we cud be cold -hearted but it isnt that easy :(
          I just hope and pray that Allah makes it easy for everyone including myself that is being tested. Ameen

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          • Sometimes Allah wishes to try His slave in order to bring them back to Him, sometimes He does it to cleanse them of their sins. And sometimes what we think is a test is actually preparing us for something much better. May Allah make your trials easier and make them a source of expiation for you.

            Aly
            *Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*

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          • its bcos ALLAH SWT loves u more than others, the greater the test the greater reward, the higher rank etc. sins are also expiated, its good, if u look at it like thath

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  28. My dearest sister,
    this made a whole lot of difference. All you need sometimes is the right reminder that clicks you back into your right place. JazakAllah khair. Love for you is gushing out of my heart right now.

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  29. I have been regularly visiting this site for hopeful reminders but I feel like my life is tangled. It’s been 11 yrs & I still haven’t met anyone after being divorced this long. I will be 30 in a couple years and I feel as if ppl around me hve lives’ changing but me/my family. I hve even learned to accept that maybe I am so unfortunate that I’m destined to be alone yet it seems like grls my age, younger are married having kids. I suffered so long I hate to complain but Allah seems to only help those that are doing bad. At times I feel like it’s easier to die Than to live in constant pain.

    I am looking for Muslim depression support group online, I feel very alone I hve no support frm my immediate family just my parents & friends hve become distant too.

    Any advice on online groups, or how to seek help in this would be appreciated. I am seeking professional help for depression.

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  30. People like me know that Allah didn’t leave us and it’s not the reason why we suffer a lot. The reason why we suffer is the human being. The human being hurts, not Allah. And everyday I see how my life is like the hell, not because I don’t pray, but because people leave me and get rid of me like I was a mosquito or rubbish and it happens since I was children, my father left me and my mother too, both of them didn’t die, just got rid of me because I was like rubbish. And this feel persecute me since my childhood, day after day I’m left apart, even who believed to be a good Muslim and said that Allah conducted me to him, and the following day, I was left apart by saying that I was less important than the others. My life is like that, I suffer everyday, I hurt myself and pray, do du’a but I never blamed Allah, I blame the ummah and people not Allah.

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  31. Doesnt Allah have control over most things though? After a certain point one is tired of being tested and feels hopeless. This how I feel now. I feel like Im alive for my parents, I have no desire to live for me after all the hurt and hardship I have been through. I used to have an ounce of hope that my life wud turn around and I would meet a nice person but I have lost hope in that too as I continue to get older, and see others younger than me that are more fortunate. At times one does feel angry towards God, becuz they continue to ask y me? Y is it that nice ppl finish last? I guess I will have these questions in my mind. I dont even want to do dua anymore becuz there is nothing I wish for. After a certain point of facing so much one starts to believe that it is easier to die than to live and suffer, at least u cud die in peace.

    I start to wonder what do ppl really learn from Islam, many are just Muslim by name then since a lot are just either looking at you as someone to pass time with, flirt, will not marry you if you are divorced or belong to the same social class as them…

    I have become a stone hearted person, who just doesnt have motivation to ask God for anything. I do want to ask one thing why such evil, rude, and hurtful ppl get everything so easily in life. If Allah knew my life was gna be this difficult why was I brought here… I have become very angry and disheartened :(

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