Dear Resilient Soul: A Message to Survivors of Childhood Sexual Trauma

Dear Resilient Soul,

As your fellow Muslim sister and someone trained in trauma-informed care, I write this letter to offer my support, validation, and solidarity with you. In conversations surrounding recent news, one theme keeps surfacing: for those who endured such experiences in childhood, these events often resurface buried pain, serving as painful reminders of past wounds. I can understand that this may feel like a betrayal that tears open old wounds. The trust you have worked so hard to rebuild over time may feel fractured again, as if the very foundation you stand on is shaken. The pain, anger, and hurt that arise are entirely natural responses to such news, and it is okay to feel everything you are feeling.

There is a distinct pain that comes from betrayal by someone who represents a role of trust, especially when it aligns with your own past experiences. This betrayal tugs at every piece of trust you’ve managed to piece together, bringing back memories of being unheard or dismissed when you first spoke out. Perhaps you confided in someone only to be silenced, told that you misunderstood, or that you should simply forgive and forget. Society’s reactions to abuse are often rooted in denial or minimization, leaving survivors to face gaslighting and isolation. I am here to tell you that those reactions were wrong. You deserved to be heard, supported, and believed then, just as you do now.

So, what can we do to face these difficult, triggering reminders? How can we cope when our past pain resurfaces in such intense ways?

Stay Grounded

As a Muslim, it can be particularly difficult when abuse occurs within the community you deeply care about. However, grounding yourself in your relationship with Allah can provide immense support. Islam emphasizes justice, compassion, and protection of the vulnerable, and Allah is always with those who have been wronged. Take comfort in verses that affirm His knowledge and justice, such as:

“And do not think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do. He only delays them for a Day when eyes will stare [in horror].” (Quran 14:42)

Your faith is not dependent on the actions of others. Know that Islam upholds values of accountability and justice. Find solace in acts of worship that bring you peace—be it in your Salah, reciting Quran, or even sitting quietly in remembrance (dhikr). These practices can anchor you, giving you a safe spiritual space to connect with the One who knows your heart and your pain better than anyone else.

Take Notice

When old traumas resurface, they often bring a physical response—tightness, fatigue, or even panic. Take moments throughout your day to connect with your body and find grounding. Breathing exercises, grounding through the senses, and gentle movement are ways to help settle your nervous system and remind yourself that you are safe in this moment. Placing your hand over your heart or reciting dhikr as you breathe deeply can be profoundly calming, creating a bridge between physical grounding and spiritual anchoring.

Acknowledge Emotions

It’s important to honor the emotional waves that come when trauma resurfaces. Creating a safe space—whether through journaling, finding a quiet corner in your home, or simply sitting in nature—can give you the opportunity to process your emotions at your own pace. By giving yourself permission to feel and express what you need, you create a buffer against being overwhelmed by emotions.

Advocate for Justice

Feeling compelled to speak out against injustices, especially when others are victimized, is a natural and powerful response. Your voice can serve as a reminder of truth, breaking the silence around these issues and helping others feel less alone. Advocacy can take many forms, such as supporting survivor-centered initiatives, sharing educational resources, raising awareness in your community, or simply being a compassionate listener for those who feel unseen or unheard.

However, it’s equally important to acknowledge that not everyone feels called or ready to take on this role—and that’s okay too. For some survivors, choosing not to engage further or deal with these issues publicly is a valid and healthy boundary. Whether you advocate for justice in big or small ways, or focus solely on your own healing, know that your response is valid. As long as our intentions are deeply rooted in the wisdom and guidance of the Quran and Sunnah, the paths we choose will hold meaning and purpose. Each step, whether private or public, becomes a form of worship and growth in its own right.

Seek Counsel

Additionally, consider seeking counsel from those you trust deeply. Connecting with a therapist, a wise friend, or a religious leader who understands your experiences can help you feel less isolated and more supported. Sharing your burdens with those who genuinely care can be an invaluable source of strength and reassurance on the path to healing. Remember, seeking guidance from compassionate individuals is a form of self-care, and you are deserving of this support.

Remember, dear Resilient Soul, you have the right to feel, to heal, and to seek solace in your faith and community. With each step you take, whether it’s seeking support, turning to prayer, or practicing patience, know that healing is not linear, but it is possible. Keep going, and remember that Allah’s mercy surrounds you, and with each hardship, there is relief, in shaa Allah.

Related:

An MM Recap: Toolkits To Fight Child Sexual Abuse