Podcast: Muslim Fatherhood & Masculinity Beyond the Manosphere | Sh Mohammad Elshinawy

3 Comments

1. 

   Spirituality

   December 2, 2023 at 1:58 PM

   Jazakum Allah Khayran for this awesome podcast! Fantastic tips on being a great Muslim father (and parent in general). The end was the best, of course – how we can learn from the men of Gaza, who are truly men, and truly heroes.

   Only issue for further thought, and Insha Allah it can be covered in a future podcast or future article: the issue of Prophet Ibrahim (AS) leaving Hajar and Ismaeel (AS) in the desert needs to be addressed in more detail.

   Shayk Elshinawy said that the issue is obvious to any practicing Muslim. That maybe the case, but many of us are not as practicing as we could be, and many are quite confused by the matter. It’s not just the influence Amina Wadud; some people just don’t understand. (I know of some family members who would who have no idea who Amina Wadud is – they were very disturbed when they heard this incident in a Juma prayer).

   My thought is that times have changed so greatly, that the background, general context for understanding Prophet Ibrahim (AS)’s actions can no longer be taken for granted.

   Not too long ago, most fathers took pride in having and leading their family. That formed a core part of their identity. Leaving their wife and son in that context, all alone in the desert, would perhaps be hardest thing for any man to do. Prophet Ibrahim’s actions, in this context are viewed as his utter trust in Allah and His putting His God over all else that is near and dear to him.

   However, today, deadbeat dads seem quite common (this maybe more a media projection than reality, but the effects are devastating). Such a man would find it quite easy to abandon his family. A man leaving his wife and child on alone in the desert, could well be seen in this context as a selfish man going off on some ‘spiritual quest.’ Family certainly is not worth much compared to ‘enlightenment!’

   To summarize, I believe we are in this situation today because we as a society devalue family, and we devalue God/religion. This has led to great confusion as to how to reconcile conflicts between these ‘domains.’

   Finally, this issue seems tied to an issue addressed in the podcast as well: Ie, the stereotype that Imams and Muslim leaders often have ‘the worst children.’ Ie, these leaders go off to ‘serve Allah’ and end up not doing Tarbiyyah of their children, and their children end up doing badly. (This also has been borne out in my extended family).

   So, how do we balance the demands of God versus family? Were the Prophets special in this regard? If so, how and in what sense?

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2. 

   Mohammad Elshinawy

   December 4, 2023 at 5:56 PM

   We should call the police if our eyes land on a parent deserting their children. The case of Ibrahim (as) was Revelation to a prophet, cannot apply to any of us. Our prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) forbid us from lying to our children, and from giving preferential treatment to one child over another, and abolished in his society female infanticide. Child desertion is not very far from that. I hope this helps.

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3. 

   Spirituality

   December 5, 2023 at 8:45 AM

   Yes, that does help, Jazak Allahu Khayran for responding SHaykh!

   Reply