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I’m a Mooz-lum
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GuestsBy: Ethar El-Katatney
I cried while watching a movie today.
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I never cry in movies.
But today I cried because I saw pieces of my soul in a movie. It spoke to me. Deeply.
It’s a movie that on some level I was thirsty for. So, so thirsty. And I hadn’t realized how thirsty I was.
I went to a nursery called ‘Tom and Jerry.’ The first song I learned was “Twinkle twinkle little star.” The first cartoon I watched was Barney the purple dinosaur. I went to middle school and started reading Roald Dahl. I devoured the Sweet Valley Twins series. I had a crush on Johnny Bravo. I went to high school and started watching movies like American Pie, about the trials of high school life: dating, drinking, dancing, exc.
But you see, these things were so far removed from my life.
I am a Muslim. I don’t date. Drink. Dance.
The issues I went through in high school were so much more than simply worrying about what that boy thought of me. Instead, I was struggling as the only veiled girl in the entire school. Struggling to come up with an excuse for why I couldn’t go to a friend’s 13th birthday party where you had to “bring a date”. It was a time where I struggled, hard, to balance between aspects of my identity that on the surface seemed contradictory.
I knew no one going through a similar struggle — no family members, no friends. And there were no movies or books to at least reassure me that I was not alone. Like the times when I felt like ripping off that veil or accepting that locket from a boy I liked were normal — that feeling that way did not make me bad.
Instead, the media I consumed made me feel like an alien — telling me that the lifestyle I read about in books and saw on television was the norm, and that opting out of that lifestyle made me a freak, an oddity.
Where were the people like me? In real life? In movies?
Enter Mooz-lum, stage right.
Mooz-lum is a movie that traces the life of Tariq, a young black Muslim American boy. Raised in an extremely conservative household, he rebels once he goes to college. 9/11 happens and lives change.
It’s a movie about faith. Identity. Tolerance. Struggle. Coexistence. Discrimination. Coming of age.
It’s a movie that every young Muslim will empathize with. A movie that showcases the nuances of struggling to fit in. Of the journey we take to find out who we are and how to stay true to ourselves once we do.
And it begins with peer pressure. And family.
Peer pressure is hard, no matter what faith you are. We all want to fit in. No one wants to be different in high school, let alone different in a way that has such negative connotations — “that’s a Mooz-lum name!” laughs the students in school at Tariq.
I wanted to be blonde and white.
I wanted to be like everyone else.
I wanted a mom who would cook burgers and fries. A cool dad who would drive me to prom. Because that is what ‘normal’ was.
Instead, I got parents I loved deeply, but couldn’t understand how they were so different from me. I felt like I was bending over backwards to satisfy them but it was never enough. I always felt like I was failing them.
We are a generation that is just so so different from our parents.
My dad—like Tariq’s—proudly wears a thobe and kufi out in public. I was embarrassed of him as a child. And then ashamed at being embarrassed to have him pick me up from school.
No matter how hard he tries to compromise, it is just never enough, because we come from such different backgrounds.
My paternal grandmother never went to high school, and she got married at age 15 to a 40-year-old man. My father believes I am a spinster at 23 and sees the fact that I went on to college and then graduate school as the biggest compromise. That is the way he is, and that is the way he will remain.
Tariq’s story highlights this beautifully — the struggle we go through to please our parents, and our comprehension that although they may try, they will find it hard to do as Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib advised:
“Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time.”
At the same time, Mooz-lum makes you feel for the parents — they want children like them. Better than them. Children who will get the chance to do what they couldn’t. And they want to protect them from the aspects of a culture that they see as against their beliefs.
My dad forbade me to go to prom. I’ve never been to a concert. I’m home before 10pm every night. My dad wants me to read Arabic fluently. He wants me to learn the Qur’an by heart. He wants my brother to pray in the mosque. Grow a beard. Dress ‘Muslim’. He wants us to be good Muslims in the way he understands good Muslims must be. And I cannot fault him for that. And as I grow older, the more I am able to appreciate how hard it was for him to compromise, and the more I understand that being tough can sometimes be the hardest thing to do.
But how to make parents understand that culture and faith are not the same?
And how will we raise our own children? Where will we put the limits? How to raise them in a way that they choose to be Muslims? Choose to abide by the rules because they want to? Where do we relax the rules? When do we let them choose?
Do we send them to the schools where they struggle so much? Or to Muslim schools that come with their own kind of problems?
Tariq’s father sends him to a madrasa—a Muslim school where the children dress in thobes and kufis, eat on the floor from one big bowl, and basically live a life that is different from the world outside its walls.
I went to a school like that in Yemen. But I went by choice as an adult, to see what life ‘away’ from the ‘world’ is like, where in no way am I odd or strange. I do not believe that Muslim schools, run by people from our parents’ generation, are the solution. If they’re not run properly, they run the risk of alienating the children. And to be run properly they need people like me, like Tariq, to run them. Who understand what it is like to grow up between cultures and with multiple identities.
But I digress.
The question Mooz-lum raises: How to create a vibrant American Muslim culture? One that is wholly American and wholly Muslim at the same time, rather than neither nor? How to be so secure in who we are and what we believe in order to be able to develop this culture? How to find our place in this world? Where we are proud of our roots and history, proud of our faith, and yet truly citizens of this world?
And these issues aren’t just limited to Americans. We talk about globalization. But the reality is, we’re talking about Americanization. The world is becoming Americanized.
I’m sitting at Starbucks in a mall right now, sipping my tall-skinny-vanilla-latte and staring at a Christmas tree while listening to Frank Sinatra. I just finished typing an analysis of a Harvard Business School case for my MBA class on my MacBook, I’m sending a bbm from my blackberry, and I’m staring at the Apple store across from me and wondering if I really need an iPad, and whether or not I maxed out my American Express credit card this month.
I’m dressed in Levis jeans, Converse trainers, a GAP sweater, and I just came from Gold’s Gym. I’m meeting friends in an hour to see Tangled at the 3D cinema, where we will buy caramel popcorn and then have lunch at Chilis or TGIF. And then dessert at Haagen-Dazs. Then we’ll walk around the mall — I want to buy the new Jodi Picoult book from Virgin, that dress I liked from Zara, and the new raspberry body butter from The Body Shop.
But you see, I am not in America.
I am not American.
I have never even been to America.
I was born in Saudi Arabia.
The mall I am in is in Cairo, Egypt.
I am Egyptian and I have lived in Egypt all my life.
And yet — my identity is no longer purely Egyptian.
In the world we live in today, so many Muslims are going through what I am going through, without ever having stepped foot in America. We don’t have to be American to be Americanized. And we don’t have to be Americanized to struggle as Muslims in a world where religion is seen as backward. Where modernity and civilization seem to be mutually exclusive with faith.
We’re all adrift in confusion. Trying to make sense of our identity, and trying to see where we fit.
As Muslims, we’re struggling to find the balance. Struggling against the loud voices that tell us our faith is violent. Struggling to prove that it is not. Struggling against ourselves and against an outside world that seems to be against us.
It’s so hard.
And sometimes, we slip up. Sometimes, a small little voice tells you:
“Dude, your life would be so much easier if you could just go with the flow.”
If you didn’t have to announce to the world that you were Muslim, with all the baggage and connotations and responsibility that it entails.
If you were just like everyone else.
Tariq decides to be T. To shed the part of him he doesn’t realize is his core. He goes drinking, clubbing, kisses a girl, and decides he doesn’t want any part of ‘it’.
But even when we slip up — the guilt is there.
There aren’t enough words to describe the scene where Tariq recites the Qur’an out loud and tears up. Because that’s what it boils down to — if you truly truly believe, you will not find a joy in this world that is as beautiful as the joy you do when you submit to God.
And that is what makes the struggle worth it — to find the place where you are comfortable in your dual identities, part of the world, not isolated, and yet not schizophrenic, torn apart.
So that was how Mooz-lum impacted me on one level. And partially why movies like it are necessary—for Muslim youth who need to know that they’re not alone.
But the movie is so much more that.
In American society today, artistic expression, and more specifically movies, are the way to impact people. Once upon a time it was poetry. Then it was books. Now, it is movies. As Ingmar Bergman, the famous Swedish director and producer, said:
“Film as dream, film as music. No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does, straight to our emotions, deep into the twilight room of the soul.”
When I left college I became a journalist. My job is media. I live in it.
And I don’t think anyone would argue with me when I say that Muslims in western media are grossly misrepresented, that misconceptions are circulated, and that we have been reduced from rich, complex individuals into one-dimensional representations and a monolithic entity. In 2001, Jack Shaheen analyzed the way Arabs (might as well be synonymous with Muslims) were portrayed in over 900 movies for his book Reel Bad Arabs. He found that only a dozen portrayals were positive and fifty balanced.
You know the drill.
The reality is that media shapes perceptions. And the western media of the world today has disfigured the image of Islam, ingrained misconceptions and stereotypes, and consequently promoted intolerance, racism, hatred, and violence.
According to Media Tenor, a research firm that monitors and analyzes media coverage of key issues
The tone of statements in US television news in 2009 about Islam (40%) was twice as likely to be negative than the statements made about Christianity (20%). Two-thirds of the television coverage about Islam associates Muslims with extremism.
A Gallup study on religious perceptions in America released earlier this year showed that the more ignorant Americans were about Islam, the less prejudiced they were towards it.
Why? Because they were ignorant — they were not exposed to as much media. If they had, they would have been more prejudiced, since the media image of Islam is violent and horrible and oppressive
And this disfiguration of the faith has gone virtually unchallenged in the public mind simply because Muslims in the west have not yet attained a high enough level of comfort in their identities to express their spirituality through the arts, whether that be music, plays, books or movies.
But this is changing. Muslims are starting to speak up for themselves. The New York Times just ran an article this week about Muslim artists who are bridging American and Islamic traditions with their art.
And that’s why a movie like Mooz-lum is groundbreaking. It isn’t a one-dimensional representation. It doesn’t portray Muslims as angels or demons. It portrays the humanity: we love, we hate, we do good, we do bad. And yes, there are people out there who give Islam a bad name: who beat children, who preach violence. And there are those who do good: who call for mercy, for co-existence, who are great human beings doing great things for the world. Nothing is as black or white as it seems, and the actors do a beautiful job of portraying the complexities of the characters writer and director Qasim Bashir brought to life.
Mooz-lum goes deep beyond the cliches and the headlines, to the heart. It isn’t the best movie you’ll ever see. But it’s a damn good one, and it is groundbreaking. Because the only way for us to start tackling the stereotypes is in the same way they are perpetuated: movies.
For non-Muslims, the movie is perhaps more important: a chance for them to hear Muslims speaking about what it is like to be Muslim. To see the nuances it would be impossible to get across in a conversation or two. To see how 9/11 impacted Muslims: In 2003, the FBI created an Arab-American advisory committee after hate crimes against people perceived to be Arab or Muslim increased by 1,700%.
I believe that working in media, creating movies and songs and books that reflect ‘us’ is just as important as everything else Muslims have to do in the world today —reinterpret scripture, properly teach Islam to children, condemn violence, etc.
But it’s a heavy burden, and not one many of us choose to bear — especially those of us who are successful, articulate, cosmopolitan and secure in who they are, and therefore the most qualified to stand up and say “Yes, I’m a Muslim. This is why. This is my community. These are my struggles. No, I am not x, or y, or z.”
It could potentially harm your career. It’ll put you in the spotlight. You will be judged as a “Mooz-lum,” and not as a lawyer, a doctor, an anchor, a teacher.
But it is our responsibility as Muslims. Actually, scratch that. It is our responsibility as citizens and humans to speak up for a beleaguered faith, which lacks the political and cultural power to fight back.
Mooz-lum Trailer
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4axp5V_j6E[/youtube]
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deaniedan
June 14, 2011 at 12:14 AM
Fantastic Article :)
SisterinDeen
June 14, 2011 at 4:47 AM
a VERY beneficial and informative article Masha’Allah
and the fact your not American – Subhan’Allah
Globalisation at its peak
Zakir
June 14, 2011 at 5:38 AM
i haven’t read such a good writing for long time
good job!!
Think
June 14, 2011 at 11:15 AM
I am confused.
Why is the spread of American consumerism being portrayed in such a way in this article?
Is it a positive, really is it a positive at all, that you spent time thinking about whether your credit card had been maxed out this month or not? That you can go gaga over absurd gadgets wherever you are, that have no functions that are necessary which laptops an eighth their cost do not?
Do you know why so many convert? Because those things are hollow. They are vile. They are not necessary. They are not necessary at all. They feel, ‘this is where life is, this is where being is, this is how being is and this tells me where I will go when I am nothing in this world, this tells me how to offer up my heart to my Creator.’
Is it ‘cultural’ to learn Arabic, to know the Qur’an by heart, to dress the Sunnah? You can dress the Sunnah in baggy jeans and a long shirt and a kufi. Is wearing a kufi so awful? Is growing a beard ‘cultural?’ Is the Sunnah ‘cultural?’
Shaykh Abul Hasan Ali Nadawi said: ‘Beware the emergence of a European or American Islam,’ and sure, maybe he said it from his background in IndoPak, you can say that if you want- but he said it for good reason. When we’ve all submitted to the mall instead of to Allah, this is when there will be problems that make the problems we have now look like ‘my kittens are too adorable.’
Ahmed Muhammed
June 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM
I have yet to watch the movie, but it’s nice to finally see a movie that is centered around what Muslims, and Muslim youth go through in today’s society, frankly I was getting tired of movies that depicted Muslims as always being terrorists. I think that’s another reason why I gained a liking for blaxploitation films from the 70’s like dolemite.. wouldn’t suggest watching it, but it shows a different side of black america than what was out there at the time, where african americans were depicted in a negative light.
Rebekah
June 14, 2011 at 1:30 PM
wow. What a fantastic article. I completely and totally understand this struggle. Being a white American convert to Islam (as an adult–age 24) with two small children (they were 3 & 5 at the time) and later marrying another convert who converted in college at age 21, who is also a white American, and being the only white Muslim family in our area (and one of only about 4 Muslim families total in the town) and my children now being 11 and 13, its very real to me, every single minute of every single day.
Even the Muslims speak to me in Arabic, because they dont even consider that I wouldnt speak Arabic, and Im so used to being stared at, that I joke about wearing clothing to advertise causes I am passionate about, just to get awareness out there, because I know everyone will stop and look at me.
My children are having a very difficult time, my oldest does not want anyone to know he is Muslim, because he is afraid of what they may do to him, because he has seen how people see Muslims in America (and abroad too unfortunately) and how hateful and cruel they can be, and kids in middle school are that way to everyone, much less someone “different’, but I wear hijab, every single day, so as much as he wants to hide his religious identity, it doesnt work all that well, because everyone knows who I am, I get described as “the white woman who wears the headdress”.
I feel the most for my daughter though, she is 11 and masha’Allah she is strong and values herself as a person above all else, and as much as she wants to be like all the other girls, she knows that its not the right way, and she knows why, and she CHOOSES not to do things that are against Islam on her own (at least most of the time) I think in some ways, being a convert makes that easier on our children, because I know what that “other life” is like, and I can share stories, and the good and the bad, and I never, ever approach something that is against Islam with “dont do it because its haram and you will go to the hellfire” I tell them, dont do ___ because people wont value you for your mind, and wont respect you or treat you nicely and it makes you look like a bad person” and then I let them choose what to do, I wont force them to do anything, their spirituality, as much as I wish I could make it what I want, is not under my control, it is my job to influence them and teach them why Islam is right, and good and why they should love and follow Allah, but forcing them to do so, when every single person they know or talk to or hear about—including all of their family other than their parents (some of which are openly hostile about Islam to their faces)…since being converts, we have no Muslim family–is going to push them away from Islam, period….and I know that intuitively, so as hard as it is for me to watch them struggle, its something I have to do, and they have to make their own way.
We have made our own Eid traditions, we have roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for dinner and hang green lights and give each person wrapped gifts on their prayer rugs at Maghrib on the first day of Eid and they help me make decorations for the house and we go to the mosque and just try to make it as fun as possible. We give them an allowance based on “good deed points” that they earn for chores and positive behavior during the week, and just try to point out the practical values of being a Muslim in addition to spiritual and eternal values of Islam. Its hard work, but Insha’Allah it will be worth it.
Im very glad that there is a movie like this, and I have been able to find a book or two about being a teen Muslim today that I bought for the kids, and Insha’Allah, we will make our voices heard and things will change for our children and their children, and
Muslima
June 14, 2011 at 5:46 PM
I find it saddening to hear that people have to turn away from the Qur’an and Sunnah in order to build a bridge between themseleves (as Muslims) and the West.
Personally, I don’t see why there is this gap between religion and a Country or place that a person lives in. I believe that people create these problems themseleves as Islam (as the sister explained in this article) is not presented in the media the way it should be portrayed. I completely disagree on the idea that we as Muslims should use music, or in other words, go against the Qur’an and Sunnah just to capture our identities because by following the Qur’an and Sunnah that ultimately leads to our real identities. Where we live is merely our geographical positioning on the Earth. I won’t be asked on the Day of Judgement about the land that Allah has placed me in, rather, I will be held accountable for the state of my heart and my actions that I carried out whilst I lived in this short transient life.
I am a Muslim youth who lives in the West and have been learning this religion in practical for nearly two years. If anything, ISLAM has taught me how to be a part of society. Islam has taught me how to assist in aiding others. Islam has taught me how to respect and honour my parents. And Islam, has taught me how to deal and be tolerant of those who disagree with my belief- that being to have patience.
Sadly none of these teachings have been taught by the West and in actual fact, the West teaches pretty much the opposite.
Islam is the way forward. It’s the media that strives to suggest the reverse.
Brother
June 14, 2011 at 7:37 PM
Jazakum Allah khayr!
tuwaylib
June 14, 2011 at 10:12 PM
masha allah, an excellent response to the article. I actually watched this movie to see if it really depicted the life of a muslim. Rather its trying to show that as a muslim, you dont have to be conservative. You can be american as apple pie and still claim to be a perfect muslim.
awful movie, i wouldn’t recommend it.
MM
June 20, 2011 at 9:36 AM
@Muslima,
“Sadly none of these teachings have been taught by the West and in actual fact, the West teaches pretty much the opposite.”
I completely disagree that “Muslim” and the “West” are different. If so, you are saying that the “East” is Muslim/Islam.
If we are ever to move away from the idea that Islam/Muslims are aliens, we need to break down this false category of East/West. This includes referring to the false dichotomy of “Muslims” and “Westerners” as distinct. I am a “Westerner” and I am Muslim. The two identitities do not clash.East/West does not exist–we live in a round world and the geographical maps are superficial.
As a Westerner, I also hate that “the West” is always under fire for being “anti-Islamic” when most Westerners (Muslim and non-Muslim) stand up for democracy (and other Islamic values) than so-called Muslim countries. “The West” is not the bad guy.
Muslima
June 20, 2011 at 6:34 PM
@Brother and @tuwaylib, may Allah bless you.
@MM:
Well no, I’m not saying that. I’m sorry if you haven’t understood my point. I was arguing exactly what you just stated; “East/West does not exist–we live in a round world and the geographical maps are superficial”. I specifically related to the West as that was a simple comparison I was making between the teachings of Islam and the teachings presented in the West.
No one’s claiming that a piece of land is the bad guy. Rather, it’s what the West promotes that clashes with the teachings of Islam and I’m sure you are well aware of what those teachings are. With regards to democracy, well actually if you looked into the English law you would find that this law is highly undemocratic and has been criticised to a great extent.
Moreover, Islam does not go hand in hand with democracy. Democracy is a man-made system which in essence is law made by man for man. Thus it is contrary to Islam, because rule is for Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, and it is not permissible to give legislative rights to any human being, no matter who he is.
– I’m not sure what you meant here. How are Muslims aliens if they form a part of society? Perhaps you are relating to this hadith:
“Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” [Sahih Muslim]
MM
June 20, 2011 at 6:52 PM
I just do not understand what exactly is “the West”. I understood your points, but what I never understand is how people refer to “the West” as if it is one monolothic body. What exactly is “the West?” And how is geographical location clash with Islamic values? In your response, you clarified this and said that you are referring to the values that “the West” promotes. This is problematic for me. There are plenty of trash values being promoted in so-called Islamic countries. I say “so-called” because I do not believe that there is one true Islamic nation on this Earth. In many so-called Islamic nations, you have the denial of basic women’s and human rights. You also have stealing and killing and promotion of violence. Whatever “bad” values you are assigning to “the West” are not “Western”…they are simply bad values that can be practiced by anyone anywhere.
“Moreover, Islam does not go hand in hand with democracy. Democracy is a man-made system which in essence is law made by man for man. Thus it is contrary to Islam, because rule is for Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, and it is not permissible to give legislative rights to any human being, no matter who he is.”
I think many Muslims would disagree that democracy is unIslamic. Shariah law is also manmade. There needs to be individuals to interpret the Quran in order to decide how to implement laws. Surely, you do not believe that God talks to us directly, do you? If so, I do not know what else to say to you. There needs to be a system in place and that system is developed and implemented by fallible beings–just like any other manmade system. One can have a democracy without having it necessarily clash with Islamic values. I live in a democracy and I practice Islam. I am mature enough to make my own decisions without having a mullah over my head telling me what to do.
Abu Fatimah
June 14, 2011 at 7:29 PM
Could the author of the article explain why s/he is talking about serious sins of his/her past, such as watching filthy movies like american pie, listening to music, and immitating the most corrupt kuffar culture in the world. I have no idea what the aim of this article is except to corrupt muslims. Sorry to be harsh but I really advise you to learn your deen and make dua that Allah remove this pathetic attotude of muslims in arabv countries from trying to act american. Makes me sick. Im a british convert who lives smack bang in teh middle of dar al kufr in teh UK and I really dont feel any need for music or christmas trees or trying to immitate kuffar. Dont you understand that these are serious issues in the religion? Allahu musta’aan. This website should be combatting these tyoes of things, not justifying them and promoting them. Wallahi the muslims deserve to be in the mes we are in today
Dreamlife
June 15, 2011 at 4:13 AM
I think she wrote it that way because she was telling a personal story – a story which helps readers, who grew up like her, to relate to why this movie was so important.
We all know the truth – that we shouldn’t be watching such movies, listening to such music, etc. But the reality – as highlighted in her personal story – is that much of the Muslim youth worldwide DO grow up in cultures that are Americanized. So you see Saudi and Egyptian kids imitating this ‘kuffar culture’ – because globalisation has made this ‘kuffar culture’ that standard in today’s world.
We may not like that – but it’s the truth.
And we can’t blame the ‘kuffar’ for all of this. If we were strong in the deen like we should be, we wouldn’t have allowed their culture to come in and colonize our hearts and minds. But it’s weakness of deen that makes us vulnerable – and when that happens, it’s easy for the soldiers of shaytaan to come marching in and corrupt and entire society.
Brother – I understand your wanting to be strong and anti-this culture; but when dealing with youth, we need to be smart about how we preach and teach. Taking a hardline approach and immediately condemning their actions – their acceptance of this ‘kuffar culture’ – is not the route to go.
Perhaps because you didn’t grow up as a Muslim youth in this kind of culture, you didn’t experience the dangers of that approach: when a Muslim kid lives in a Western culture, and then you get the hardline imams who are preaching fire and brimstone, fear and hellfire.
That approach just doesn’t work for many Muslim youth. It pushes them away – rather than bringing them into the deen.
Some could take the attitude: ‘If i’m so bad and going to hell – like your preaching implies – I may as well enjoy my life here in this world.’
Our ultimate aim is to show them that that culture is wrong, and to encourage them to leave it.
But the APPROACH needs to be wise, and needs to use what will be effective for THEM (as long as it is within the realms of Shariah – which obviously rules out things like music).
There’s such a thing as da’wah to Muslims. And in my view, that requires just as much effort as da’wah to non-Muslims – because we see how many of our Muslims (and youth especially) are drowning in the unIslamic cultures they live in…(EVEN in Egypt or so-called Muslim countries).
I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment – that we need to enjoing the good and forbid the evil.
But I disagree with your approach.
We need to call to Islam with wisdom and good words. And that means being sensitive to the dilemmas of the youth, and preaching the message in a way that is effective – that speaks to THEM…NOT in a way that is harsh and threatening.
After all – you catch more flies with honey than vinegar…right?
I’m not saying do haraam things to get the message across (e.g. da’wah through punk rock music which has lyrics calling to Islam)…but I am saying choose your methods in the ways that are most effective, within the bounds of Shariah.
Rebekah
June 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM
I couldnt agree more. When I think of how to deal with teaching Islam, to myself, my husband, my children or anyone else, I think of our Prophet (saw) and how did he teach the Muslims in Makkah and Medina? He didnt start out saying “wear hijab, dont listen to music, dont curse, dont drink, etc.”, he gave them small instructions, the Sahabah didnt even pray until after the Miraj, so why do we expect kids who are raised around other cultures not to rebel if all we tell them is what they “cant do” and dont give them reasons and show them the beauty and the logic of what they can do. I dont know many adults who would embrace Islam when only taught halal vs. haram and never had any explanations of whats wrong with the haram and whats good about the halal in today’s world, and especially so when all their friends and other non-Muslims are telling them to go and do the exact opposite of what they are being pushed to do by their parents. but giving them reasons why doing it is okay or better and treating them like they have brains in their heads to make choices for themselves.
Thats one of the reasons why I became a Muslim in the first place, because I asked “why is it this way?” and got answers that made sense and wasnt told “because its the way it is” or “because I said so” or “because you will go to the hellfire” thats what pushed me away from how i was raised to begin with, that my questions were dismissed as unimportant…and our children are the same way.
We have to treat them like people, and realize that Allah considers them adults at puberty, so if Allah thinks their mind is sufficient at that point to know right from wrong, why should we not think their mind is the same and teach them, rather than force them as if they didnt know any better? After he reaches puberty, Im not going to be asked by Allah, why my son did this or that, Im going to be asked “why didnt you teach him the right way?” and since I am doing so, at least to the best of my ability, my heart will be clear in that regard.
thats just my 75 cents on the subject :)
Dawud Israel
June 17, 2011 at 10:34 PM
You were reading a different article…
Abu Fatimah
June 14, 2011 at 7:45 PM
I see that your a sister, sorry if my tone was innappropriate and rude towards a sister, but wallahi its saddening taht i come into islam and the muslims and trying to be the very kuffar i just left, this whole american arabs thing makes me physically sick and its really not something to promote to the ummah, its something that is sinful and we should be ashamed of these things, not writing about them on blogs. this is a disease that has plagued the ummah. I see many saudi students here who come in looking and talking like americans with music blasting and honestly i just feel sad that they could turn out like this when they grew up in saudi arabia of all places and makes me realise that something has to be done about the corruption teh kuffar is spreading in the muslim lands as nowhere is safe now from their fasad
Muslim
June 14, 2011 at 10:50 PM
Salaam,
I don’t think the author meant to promote her past sins. It seems to me that the author is trying to express their struggle in life with their identity as a Muslim. She is just being real about her feelings and frankly telling the truth about what the Muslim youth is going through.
See, there is one thing to do wrong things in life. Committing many sins and then eventually repenting from them because you and society knew all along very clearly that they were wrong. The problem these days is that living a life of sin, materialism, 24/7 entertainment and being immodest is actually accepted/promoted by society and the youth of this world are being hit with this message on a daily basis. So its not just the author having fun talking about her sins or what not. She is expressing how a young person struggles with this unique environment that we call the 21st century and that many scholars call the “Akhira Zaman” – the end times.
MashaAllah you wrote that you are convert. You came to Islam living in the west. There is a big difference between how you see the world and how the Muslim world sees you. I also grew up in the west. I see the results of “American Culture” on society, on family and on a individual’s heart and soul. I live in a developed country who rules the world. I do not ever truly feel threatened by another nation’s power over my country and I have never worried about starvation for myself in my life. Never. Not even once. Matter of fact, I have never worried about how I would get anything in life. I have always had a good job or business where money was rolling in. Good credit. I can get anything I want that is advertised on TV in less than a week delivered to my door.
And after all of that, I am SICK of all this materialism. I am sick of 100 cable channels. I am sick of being able to just click away and buy almost anything I want whenever I want it. I am sick of enjoying the view of half naked women everyday. I am sick of hearing people’s drunk stories. I am sick of hearing the stories of people getting laid every week, sleeping with each other like a sick drama, committing fornication and adultery. I am sick of watching movies. I am sick of advertisements of movies and people talking about every single move they see every week like a religion. I am sick of feeling over full in my stomach from the amount of food I eat. I am sick of having the ability to eat American food, Indian food, Chinese Food, Arabic Food, Russian Food, Chinese Food, Caribbean Food, Moroccan Food, Turkish Food whenever I want all within half an hours reach. I ask myself is this life? Will any of this help me to be able to one day have a moment of realization that Allah is watching me? That I will be returning to Allah? Will I ever be able to feel that part of my existence that is more important than my brain and physical body? And I am sure this is the way you might also think. Because you have had enough of it. You have seen that it leads to nothing. And you know deep inside that maybe you are not sick of these Actual things but sick of the fact that everyone around you seems to think that these things are happiness and the purposes of their life. That is what you are truly sick of and sad about.
But Muslims living in the Muslim world have not had these experiences yet. They are just starting to indulge in this western culture. And, yes, we have to admit that they are indulging in it at an even faster rate that the West is, but they just started. They are viewing the western world through the strong, powerful and misleading lens of the Media. What they think everyone in the west is doing might not necessarily be what the west is actually doing. They are made to be interested and infatuated with living this “western” life that seems mysterious and so fulfilling to them. And they are being caught off guard through this powerful technology that brings these messages to them. They don’t understand how strongly it will penetrate them. How strongly it will penetrate their minds and pierce their souls.
Two different perspectives.
I always tended to see the Muslim world as the young buck coming up in the world not knowing what they are getting into when they are following the ways of Western Life. And I always saw myself as that old man who has gone through the waves and motions of life and the western world and I know how foolish these youngsters are thinking that they will find any peace or contentment from pursuing this path in life.
BintKhalil
June 15, 2011 at 12:43 AM
Assalamu alaikum
Brother Dawud, I completely agree with you that it is absolutely pathetic that Muslims in Muslim lands are so steeped in this unfortunate lifestyle and I can only imagine what it must seem like for someone who has come from a non-Muslim lifestyle and considers himself liberated from it by Islam. However, the fact remains that this is indeed the case no matter how much we in the West might choose to ignore it.
It is good to acknowledge the problem and speak about how a person overcame it, rather than have everyone who is unfamiliar with that part of the world, live in delusion, don’t you think?
muslima
June 14, 2011 at 10:18 PM
i think you guys should watch the movie ” arranged” . heres the trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPnYPtbjUVo its about a muslim and a jewish girl.
mooz-lum is good..but i think it could have been better.
Halima
June 15, 2011 at 9:06 PM
This article is awesome! It really makes a lot of sense, had to read it in parts since it was pretty long tho :D
I’m definetly excited to watch Mooz-Lum the movie now good work :D
Hamza 21
June 14, 2011 at 10:22 PM
It’s interesting to read what an non-american’s view of the film was especially since although African Americans make a huge percentage of the American Ummah they’re basically ignored by the media,Muslim and non-muslim. Though I’m sure the film wouldn’t resonate with Muslims of different backgrounds if the Muslim family in film weren’t portrayed as people adopting a foreign culture. A film where Muslims,especially Black Americans dress and live as Americans rather than pseudo Arabs or Pakstanis probably couldn’t get made. That seems to be the narrative the media wants to always project Musilms = foreign. Yet the movie is still a move forward in highlighting Islam in America just as another film “New Muslim Cool”.
Also Qasim Bashir uploaded the first ten minutes of the film for those who want to see more of film before purchasing it.
http://vimeo.com/24795145
muslima
June 14, 2011 at 10:32 PM
movies such as “arranged” make you feel good about religion… the movie shows 2 modest girls from different religions who are pretty much practising their faiths. they are also shown to pray, not drink ,wear decent clothes , have ‘arranged marriages” and have happy lives. sweet.
AnonyMouse
June 18, 2011 at 9:09 AM
Oooh, I watched that movie! It was brilliant, and I really, really enjoyed it masha’Allah.
kl85
June 15, 2011 at 12:45 AM
The sad thing here is that “American Culture” is almost exclusively identified with consumer goods and ways to make money.
The question: Why is that? Because American Culture has really become that shallow or is that just the distorted picture we get here on the other side of the Atantic? (I’m from Germany.)
It’s an honest question! It’s a sad thing if a culture is reduced to consumerism, and that’s exactly the image of the USA we get here….
Muslim
June 15, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I live in America – we have no culture here except consumerism. The only cultural things we have here are certain holidays like memorial day, labor day, presidents day and independence day. And most of the population here doesn’t even know the history behind these holidays and celebrate it by getting drunk and having BBQ dinners. And, of course, attacking the malls because of good sale prices on those holidays.
Our clothing here has no cultural base. Whatever the TV tells people to wear here, they wear it.
Our music has no meaning or cultural significance. One day everyone hates hip hop music, the next day everyone loves it. That is all determined by what the Music producers and advertisers want the public to like.
Religiously, people are empty. Many of the religious movements in our country are just superficial and extreme and are more of a cult and have to do with people wanting to belong to a group rather than a true spritual understanding of the world.
Rebekah
June 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM
being from America, and never having lived anywhere else, I personally see that the majority of people here are so ethnocentric that they rarely even acknowledge the world outside of America unless it directly affects their well being, as in the case of 9/11. They get in their cars, go to work, come home, go out to eat, watch tv, go to bed, and get up the next day and do it again, without much thought at all to the world outside of their daily life, and to them “ignorance is bliss” because if they dont seek out something more, then they dont have to face the possibility of being wrong, or needing to change, or seeing a better way and being socially ostracized (by converting to another faith different from the “accepted” one in their community) or having that image of a “perfect life” that they have created in their mind, be destroyed by the reality of people starving and dying and homeless and the reality that other parts of the world live with daily and cant ignore. Its just easier to “not think about it”, although I dont know if its even a conscious decision for most Americans, its just the way “everyone” does it, and being “normal” is an obsession in our country, you protect the status quo at all costs. although I do think that if asked, Americans do care about other nations, but it becomes very easy to ignore their problems until you are confronted with them, so they dont even cross the radar of the average American on a daily basis, and thats very sad.
ahlam
June 15, 2011 at 9:13 PM
Its supposed to be that way…Capitalism. You need to have consumers who are constantly hungry for more to have a stronger economy, hence this ”buy your happiness”.Morality or society’s well-being doesnt matter, what matters is: does it sell? And it should.
Rebekah
June 16, 2011 at 10:01 AM
and that is exactly why I am not a proponent of Capitalism.
convert
June 15, 2011 at 3:12 AM
When i converted to be a Muslim, I was afraid that I couldn’t fit in. I like movies, be it from Hollywood, Iran, India, China, or Europe. I enjoy music, from rock to jazz to pop. I also love gadgets. When I converted, I was afraid I had to give them all up. I was afraid that as a woman, I would be confined and degraded by men.
Fortunately I have a good husband. He told me to always stick to the Quran whenever I have doubt, because people misinterpret a lot of things about Islam based on their traditions, their habits passed down from their parents, or even based on their own thinking. Some are based on Islam but some are not. I was very fortunate to have known ustazah Azwan who also told me the same thing.
Checks in the Quran: none in it says that we can’t watch western movies, none says that we can only listen to Arabic music, none says that we can’t wear colourful clothes, none says that we can’t enjoy or use technology/gadgets/Ipad, none says we can’t have burgers. In terms of food, of course we have to have halal food. We still can have halal burger.
AbuJ
June 20, 2011 at 8:00 AM
To ‘Covert’
Sister, The Qur’an has to be understood with the Sunnah and vise versa, both go hand in hand. If a certain is is not in teh Quran we look at the ahadeeth and see if the companions said anything about it. Music, alcohol, Zina, gambeling, etc are explicitely in teh Quran and Ahadeeth that says it is Haram. Whereas Movies, Hollywood or Boolywood etc that have no concern to a Muslim and her/his eemaan, ilm, that have music, free mixing, showing of Awrah, beauty, handsome men and beautiful women etc, this is not permissible to watch. Music and Arab or non Arab not permissible. Nasheed with only the Daff and good words amongst children and women on Eid or wedding and happy occasions is permissible. A principle of Ahlus-Sunnah wa Salafiyyah; Regarding the Dunya, everything is Halal, unless there is evidence of its prohibition and regarding the Deen everything is Haram unless there is evidence that it is allowed.
Abu J
June 15, 2011 at 4:03 AM
The only way to combat steryotyping, negative portrayal of Muslims, is to be a Muslim, living and breathing the teachings of Islam correctly. Not trying to be like them or immitate them as it is Haram. Nor fight with same bullet. They make movies we make movies, they sing and dance , we sing and dance and name it Islamic Movie or Islamic song. No. May Allah guide us. No wonder we Muslims are in a mess, as we have turned away from the original Islam as understood by the Companions. The so called Muslims in teh Muslim land are striving to be like the Kuffar and compete and please them, what can be said about those who reside amongst the Kuffaar.???
Khadeeejah
June 15, 2011 at 4:47 AM
Salam aliakum, After reading this article yesterday i immediately watched the movie, And walahi I had alot of issues with the movie, No.1, we Mulims don’t close our eyes while praying, 2. From what i got from the movie your allowed to have a relationship with the opposite sex, It’s Ok to listen to music,…….etc. Yes I know the Writer/Director had good intentions, But lets face it we can’t promote Islam through Haram methods, we will only get corrupted, Mislead Muslim youths, and deviate from our Deen. I totally agree with what Dream life has said, youths of nowadays are living in a time where almost everything around them is being westernized, so trying to follow the teachings of Islam could be a tad bit difficult, so a subtle, wise and firm approach should be taken in educating our youths but not through haram methods.
Brother
June 15, 2011 at 7:24 AM
Is watching this movie (just like any other movie) haraam? Of course, if you watch other movies, then this one is sure to be better (in terms of less haraam content) than them. It might be impractical to watch it if we want to lower our gaze. Also, I saw inappropriate gender interaction between Muslims in the trailer, i.e. not a good example.
Amad
June 15, 2011 at 8:55 AM
Amazing article… fluid, eloquent and well-written!
jazakillahkhair Ethar for sharing this with the MM audience.
SabunJameel
June 15, 2011 at 10:43 AM
MashAllah!, ditto
It was a great read Barakallahu fiki
There’s also a Movie review of Mooz-lum by Brother Dash on his website for those interested;
http://brotherdash.com/?p=1128
Abu Sumaiyah
June 18, 2011 at 5:35 AM
Being fluid, eloquent and well-written is all that matters? What about being islamicallt correct?
Abu Abdillah
June 15, 2011 at 10:08 AM
I fail to see how this author is referring to life in Egypt. She mentions wishing she were blonde, invited to birthday parties where she requires a date. How did she experience such peer pressure in Egypt?
The only places I know of in Egypt that would be so corrupt in upbringing are the foreigner schools like the British school, American, or Canadian. Having a religious father (according to the article), even if he desired for her a western education, there are plenty of American diploma schools in Egypt that follow some form of Islamic teachings, lifestyle, and education. Even some non-Muslim schools have quran classes! On top of that, a practicing father would have more than likely had his daughters goto azhar girl highschools growing up.
Could someone please clarify, because she mentions that she spent her entire life in Egypt, I am curious about how exactly she felt out of place as a Muslimah, or the “only veiled girl”?
Holly
June 15, 2011 at 10:27 AM
Asalaamu alaiki not all of Egypt is Muslim run, nor are all Egyptians Muslim. There are are christians and NON Practicing people of both faiths living there as well. Also, not every “good parent” send their children to “Muslim” school. Some public school because they have to and others private or homeschool. Egypt is NOT all Quran and Sunnah everywhere and their mall has Huge Xmas trees and such other “Americanized” things and places.
Abu Abdillah
June 15, 2011 at 2:21 PM
walaykum salam wa rahmatullah,
I am Egyptian and live in Egypt so I know well how it is. Like I mentioned, even many egyptian christian schools have muslim teachers for quran class and a place to pray the daily prayers. More than 90% of the country is muslim. The souq is and has always been a place of evil and shayateen, so it does not surprise to find places like city stars and such full of sin and transgression, but that it not the issue at hand as practicing families usually stay clear of those places.
The question again is how does a practicing muslim man in Egypt who wants his kids to memorize the quran and pray in the masjid and wear a thawb (where in cairo it is uncommon save for practicing people) send his kids to schools so bad (and rare) that even being veiled and somewhat practicing is considered being an outcast? I’m sorry but as an Egyptian this scenario is very difficult to believe.
Azhar schools are cheap and everywhere where even with their problems and underfunding they are far from Americanized in any way, as are pretty much every school in Egypt with the exception of foreigner schools as mentioned. I really can’t understand the aspects of her childhood and how she felt left out for being a practicing muslimah. wallahu ‘alam
Abu Abdillah
June 15, 2011 at 10:19 AM
“My dad forbade me to go to prom. I’ve never been to a concert. I’m home before 10pm every night. My dad wants me to read Arabic fluently. He wants me to learn the Qur’an by heart. He wants my brother to pray in the mosque. Grow a beard. Dress ‘Muslim’.”
Doesn’t seem to me that a practicing religious Muslim would send his children, let alone his daughters, to the Western owned schools in Egypt which are known for all kinds of evils and sins (a majority of teachers not even being Muslim or Egyptian). Furthermore, in a country like Egypt, there is no contradiction when it comes to those issues, as they are not cultural, rather religiously encouraged. I do not believe MM should be posting articles like this, as they paint a very negative and fictitious image of the Muslim world, in this case Egypt. The events or scenarios described in the article affect about 1% of the population, the top elite class who strive and struggle to become like Americans in every way, the majority of Egyptians don’t shop in those malls, don’t study in those schools, and have little in common with the feelings of alienation from their culture or religion.
Rosemary
June 15, 2011 at 9:32 PM
This article had me fooled, as I believed in the beginning its author was a Muslim raised in America until she stated otherwise.
I do however find it a bit odd that a Muslim can feel alienated in a Muslim country.
I’m also a bit tired of hearing how the “American or Western culture” is taking over the world. It only replaces another culture if the people welcome it and allow it.
It seems to me the author had a choice here, somewhat, in that she could have maintained her Egyptian identity had she honestly wanted to do so. She did not and chose to become the “other” in her own country. Very odd.
Odd and naive but to be expected from someone so young.
Rosemary
June 15, 2011 at 9:36 PM
I was not replying to Abu Abdillah. I was just posting a general comment really.
Lonesha
June 15, 2011 at 10:55 AM
I have to echo what everyone else has said… this is a fantastic article. Jazakhah Allah kaire. It inspires me to be a Hijabi… to do better…
Wahida
June 15, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Salaams
Where you get educated doesn’t matter IMO because I went to a Muslim school and not everyone was practising but I knew what was right and wrong Alhamdulillah. I won’t say I didn’t listen to music and watch all these American movies. Yes, it was a choice and I would love to blame it on peer pressure but I did have a choice and sometimes I did make the wrong choices. That’s part of growing up. It is those mistakes that have made me who I am today. Islam is not a forceful religion and like my sister said ‘if you truly, truly believe’ then Allah (swt) will never let you go astray. Realising your mistakes helps you become a better person. It is better to talk about the past mistakes that way you can share your stories on how you realised your wrong-doings, how you realised that these American practises were damaging your balance, how you realised that Astaghfirullah you’ve been wasting all that time when you could have been doing Ibadah. If anything this should make you fasten your hold onto your belief.
It is especially hard for a Muslim child growing up in a non-Islamic state. Today, at 22 I live in a city where everyday, and I’m not exaggerating, everyday I get asked ‘why must I cover my hair, why do others observe the niqaab, why can’t I shake hands with men?’ And I have answered their questions as patiently as I could. So you can imagine what it is like for a child!! They tend to question themselves when asked by their peers about their religion. All we can do is gently guide our youth, teach them about the deen as much as we can, make them feel like they can talk to you (Alhamdulillah my parents always made me feel this way), most importantly be very patient with them and pray that InshaaAllah, Allah(swt) will show them the right path.
Jazakallah sister, for the amazing read.
Muslim
June 15, 2011 at 7:12 PM
Great article, I just got done watching the movie after waiting months for it to come out on DVD. I’m only 15 but i realize now that it wasn’t what people were going to think of me, but more of what I thought of myself. I’ll admit I was ashamed when around my parents (especially when they were wearing traditional African clothing) and how embarrassing they were, now whenever one of my friends make an comment about me being African I just laugh along cause all there trying to do is make people laugh, they finally realized it gets old but they still do, only they say sorry after. Anyway Masha Allah on the article.
Kimberly
June 16, 2011 at 12:56 AM
Reading this article gave me chills. It’s content, structure, style, and tone is brilliant. As an African-American revert I feel the author left no stone unturned in regards to prospective. I feel the author could not have been more relevant, eloquent, or poignant! Barakallah feek! Speechless. . .
Abu Sumaiyah
June 18, 2011 at 5:31 AM
So if an article is eloquent that makes it islamically correct?
Mutiara Fatimah
June 16, 2011 at 11:12 PM
Please next time videos should using caption/substitle so deaf muslim can understand about the content of that videos. After all it was good and like to watch it fully. Thank you.
Dawud Israel
June 17, 2011 at 10:35 PM
Fantastic film review. Been a while since I read a good piece on MM. :P
The twist in the middle where she’s actually in Egypt was a big surprise but very true.
I hope to read more of Ethar El-Katatney’s writings here on MM.
Shukran.
Sabour Al-Kandari
June 19, 2011 at 3:00 AM
Thanks for the spoiler o_O
Massoud
June 19, 2011 at 10:20 PM
LOL bro Sabour!
Abu Sumaiyah
June 18, 2011 at 5:28 AM
Why do people consider this article good? What is the evidence from the Quran and Sunnah? Let’s refer to Allah Azza wa Jall and His Messenger.
sister
June 20, 2011 at 1:51 AM
Wow. mashaaAllah..an amazing article.
I have to say that i was shocked when you said you were in Egypt!
i might actually watch this film now that you gave it such a good rating inshaAllah.
Amina (mother of two)
March 7, 2012 at 7:02 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie Marsha Allah and I also cried at 46 years old! I also enjoyed your article. Very introspective- very real. One thing that the movie also showed was that true Islam does not tolerate extremism such as the abuse young Tariq suffered as he was learning to recite the Quran. I badly want my parents to see this movie. It moved me in a very real way. Our children in Trinidad do not seem to feel the pressures around them as in the States but we do have our fair share of hearing and reading what’s in the media. Thank you for your article again. Marsha Allah