A Day in the Life of an ‘Eid Party Volunteer

(Written in response to – can you guess? – an almost disastrous 'Eid party)

Yes, it’s that time of the year again… ‘Eid time! And for those involved in the community, it means that it’s time to book the halls for ‘Eid salaah and the ‘Eid parties. ‘Eid parties are always a bittersweet experience for volunteers – while we love being able to make ‘Eid a special time for our brothers and sisters, we don’t look forward to having to deal with people, their problems, their messes, and their kids.

Unfortunately, the problems start even before the ‘Eid party: a chronic problem that our community constantly suffers from is lack of volunteers willing to dedicate themselves wholeheartedly to helping out. I know that most people come to the ‘Eid party because they want to relax and they don’t want to be running around madly mopping up spills and dealing with the kazillion other issues that arise, but look at it this way: we can’t have a successful ‘Eid party if we don’t have people to help!

Here’s my solution to the issue: sacrifice this one day fee sabilillaah, and then treat yourself and the other volunteers to an after-Eid-party-party! So what are you waiting for? Go ask your masjid/ Islamic centre what they’re doing for ‘Eid al-Adha and sign yourself up to volunteer! Insha’Allah, the ajr you get will be totally worth the stress you’ll have to deal with.

Let’s move on to the next stage: the actual ‘Eid party! My number one pet peeve is the total lack of cooperation from participants. Whether it be barging in without having bought a ticket, fighting over seating and space, or squabbling over food, nothing makes it harder for the volunteers than party participants totally ignoring our desperate calls for order.

Really, is it so hard to buy a ticket ahead of time? It takes two minutes, maybe even less, to go up to the organizers and purchase a ticket at least a week before the party. You have no idea how much we appreciate it when people follow simple instructions like that – and how much we really don't appreciate people who think that they can just show up to the door and expect to be allowed in. I don’t care if I know you personally or not, I don’t care if you’re my relative or my best friend: if you’re going to be so irresponsible, then you DESERVE to be turned away at the door. There is nothing that says you have a RIGHT to be allowed in, when instructions on posters specifically state that there is no admittance without tickets.

That’s just the ticket issue – seating, food, and children issues are ten times worse! I really don’t get it… why is it that when you go to something organized by non-Muslims, you’ll be on your best behaviour, but as soon as you go to something organized by your brothers and sisters in Islam you seem to lose any concept of adab and akhlaaq? People fight over chairs in a way that you’d think it’s a life and death situation. People fill up their plates as though they’ve never seen food before in their lives, and never going to see some for the rest of their lives – and then they end up wasting half the plate!

People: WASTING FOOD IS HARAAM! Take a little bit at a time, finish it, and then come back for seconds if need be. By filling up your plate (and please, don’t give me the excuse that you “need to feed your kids”, because your kids are NOT going to eat that much, and you and I both know it), you are 1) revealing your own total lack of good manners, and 2) depriving others of food. Rather than being able to enjoy the barakah (blessings) in a nice, small meal, you’re causing problems for yourself by racking up sayyiaat (bad deeds).

Anas said: “The Prophet ordered us not to leave anything in the plate and he said: “You do not know in which portion of your food Allah has put the Barakah.” (Muslim)

Kids… they’re supposed to be a blessing, but these days they seem more of a curse! Honestly… are they people, or are they animals? I’m starting to think they’re more of the latter, to judge by their behaviour. Discipline seems to be a foreign (or forgotten) concept amongst many parents. People, your masjid/ Islamic centre/ volunteers are NOT providing a babysitting service!

Some ‘Eid parties have separate rooms or activities for kids. Others don’t. Regardless of what kind of party you’re attending, parents should at least have the decency to check up on their kids and make sure they aren’t destroying everything (which they usually are). Oh, and when a volunteer comes up to you and tells you that your kid is getting into fights/ making trouble/ whatever… do us a favour and smack your kid upside the head, will you, please? They need it. Desperately. I know, because even if I don’t live with them, I teach them. Trust me, teaching them gives me a better idea of what they’re like than you know… and harsh as it may sound, but most of the kids in the Muslim community are selfish, greedy, ill-mannered, badly behaved monsters. And that’s putting it mildly. (In case you didn’t get the hint implied: please do something about your kids!)

All right, the children-hating rant is over. Let’s move on to… the other party-goers. The grown-ups. The ones who, despite being over the age of 18 and having kids of their own, seem to have totally forgotten such basic things as manners. You know, saying “Please,” “Thank you,” and such concepts as patience, forbearance, and appreciation. The lack of Islamic adab (etiquettes) and akhlaaq (good manners) is astounding and, quite frankly, depressing. So please, please, PLEASE: remember that we’re trying our best to make this party successful, and you know what? If you think we’re doing such a bad job, why don’t YOU organize and run the party and see how well YOU can do it? There are few things I hate more than people who sit around making our work harder, and then have the gall to complain about it. Like I said: If you don’t like it, do it yourself!

Finally, let me vent about the other most common occurrence at ‘Eid parties: people’s Islamic dress sense. Or rather, lack thereof. Why is it that all the hijaabs seem to fly off at ‘Eid time? Oh, pardon me – maybe there was just a very, very strong breeze in the area that I somehow missed. In which case, let me introduce you to the wonderful invention called the hijaab pin. It’s something you use to secure your hijaab under your chin so that it doesn’t slip off revealing everything that’s not supposed to be revealed. By the way, hijaab doesn’t just refer to the scarf: it’s the entire way you dress and carry yourself. I’m not going to go into the whole definition of what hijaab constitutes, but suffice to say the following: bright, sparkly, skin-tight, flesh-revealing outfits matched with layers of makeup caked on do not meet Islamic dress requirements in any way, shape, or form. Not even in alternate realities. And honestly, half the time it’s not even as attractive as you think it is… so please, spare our eyeballs and spare yourself the sayyiaat, and observe hijaab!

Having picked on my fellow females, it’s time for me to rip into the guys: STAY OUT OF THE WOMEN’S AREA. How hard is it for you to do that? If you need to talk to your wife/ sister/ daughter/ mother, then send a kid to call her out so that you can talk to her. And if she’s not your mahram, you shouldn’t be talking to her in the first place.

Show some respect, everyone… just because Ramadhaan is over doesn’t mean that it gives us a free license to engage in haraam! What, do we think that Allah only watches us during Ramadhaan and doesn’t hold us accountable for what we do the rest of the year? Laa wAllah! Allah is as-Samee’, al-Baseer, ar-Raqeeb: the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, and the Ever-Watchful. Let us be amongst the muttaqeen and know that we are accountable for our words, our actions, and the way we behave at ALL times, not just during Ramadhaan.

That being said: I hope you all had a wonderful ‘Eid, and may Allah accept our fasts and good deeds, ameen! And may He help us in our striving to obey Him for the rest of the year as well, ameen.