Why Your Teen Wants to Change Their Muslim Name | Night 6 with the Qur’an

This series is a collaboration between Dr. Ali and MuslimMatters, bringing Quranic wisdom to the questions Muslim families are navigating.

The Name Crisis We’re Not Talking About

There’s a quiet surrender happening in Muslim families across the West:

Khadijah becomes “Kady.” Muhammad becomes “Mo.” Ibrahim becomes “Abe.”

On the surface, it’s just convenience. “People can’t pronounce it. It’s easier this way.”

But underneath, something deeper is dying: The connection between a child and their story.

The First Day of School

Picture this:

Teacher: “Let’s take attendance. Jessica?” Jessica: “Here.”

Teacher: “John?” John: “Here.”

Teacher: “Uh… I know I’m going to butcher this … uh … Moo-HAM-mud?” Class laughs

Muhammad, age 10: “It’s Muhammad. But you can call me Mo.”

From that day forward, he’s Mo.

Not because he chose it. Because he learned: My real name is a burden. An inconvenience. Something that makes me stand out. Something to hide.

And that lesson compounds:

• Age 10: My name is hard to pronounce
• Age 12: My name makes me stand out
• Age 16: My name represents everything I’m trying to escape

By college, “Muhammad” is someone he used to be. “Mo” is who he actually is.

Except it’s not. And deep down, he knows it.

Why Teens Hide Their Names (The Real Reasons)

1. Exhaustion of Explaining

Every. Single. Time.

“How do you spell that?” “Where’s that from?” “Where are you really from?”

After the 100th time, it’s just easier to say “Call me something else.”

2. Wanting to Be “Normal”

When your name is Sarah or Adam, nobody asks questions.

When your name is Fatima or Yusuf, you’re marked as different before you even speak.

And when you’re a teen? Different = bad.

3. Protecting Themselves

Post-9/11, post-Trump, post-Gaza—Muslim names carry weight.

Some teens have experienced:

• Bullying because of their name
• Jokes about terrorism
• Assumptions about your loyalty

Changing your name isn’t just convenience at that point. It’s self-preservation.

4. Not Feeling “Worthy” of the Name

“My name is Aisha, but I don’t feel like THE Aisha.” “I’m named after a prophet, but I’m not holy.”

The name feels like a prophecy they’re failing to fulfill.

What the Quran Teaches About Names

The video explores a pattern most Muslims miss:

In the Quran, names aren’t random—they’re prophetic.

Ibrahim ﷺ (father of multitudes) → Became a father of nations. Musa ﷺ (drawn out) → Drew his people out of slavery.  Muhammad ﷺ (praised) → The most praised human in history.

The name reflects the mission.

And here’s what’s revolutionary: This isn’t just about prophets. It’s about you.

When your parents named you:

• Aisha – They prayed you’d be wise and confident like the Mother of Believers
• Ali – They prayed you’d be brave and just like the Lion of Allah
• Khadijah – They prayed you’d be trustworthy, strong and steadfast
• Yusuf – They prayed Allah would stand up for good no matter the obstacle

Your name isn’t a label. It’s a du’a that follows you through life.

The Hadith That Changes Everything

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“On the Day of Judgment, you will be called by your names and the names of your fathers, so choose good names.” (Abu Dawud)

Think about that:

The Day of Judgment—the most important moment in existence.

And Allah will call you by your name.

Not your GPA. Not your achievements. Not your social media presence.

Your name. The one your parents gave you.

Question: When Allah calls your name on that Day, will you recognize it? Or will you have spent so long going by something else that you forgot who you actually are?

For Parents: What to Understand

1. The pressure to assimilate is real

You might have grown up with your Muslim name in a Muslim country. It was normal. Western names were the ones that people had a hard time pronouncing.

But your child is growing up where their name is:

• Mispronounced daily
• A marker of “foreignness”
• Sometimes a target

This doesn’t make them weak. It makes their struggle different from yours.

2. “Just use your real name” isn’t enough

Telling them to “be proud” doesn’t teach them how to navigate the daily microaggressions.

What helps:

• Roleplay how to correct pronunciation confidently
• Share stories of when YOU stood firm on your identity (if you have them)
• Connect them with Muslim role models who own their names publicly
• Celebrate when they introduce themselves by their full name

3. Ask yourself: Did you give them this name because of its meaning, or just because it’s “Islamic”?

If you chose it because of a prophet or companion—tell them that story.

If you don’t remember why—find out the meaning together and own it now.

A name with a story is a name worth keeping.

For Teens: Reclaiming Your Name

1. Find out why you were given this name

Ask your parents tonight:

• “Why did you choose this name for me?”
• “What did you hope I would become?”

Their answer might surprise you. And it might change how you see yourself.

2. Teach people how to say it

You don’t have to be rude. But you can be clear.

“Actually, it’s Muhammad, not Mo. I’d appreciate if you’d use my full name.”

Most people will respect it. And the ones who don’t? That’s a them problem, not a you problem.

3. Understand: You’re not “worthy” yet—and that’s the point

You’re named Aisha but don’t feel wise? The name is calling you to become wise.

You’re named Muhammad but don’t feel like you’re doing anything praiseworthy? The name is a du’a that you’re growing into.

Your name isn’t describing who you are. It’s describing who you’re meant to become.

4. Own it publicly

Start small:

• Use your full name on social media
• Introduce yourself by your real name in new settings
• Correct people when they mispronounce it

When you own your name, people respect it. When you hide it, you teach them your identity is negotiable.

The Story I Didn’t Tell in the Video

When I was in high school, I could never find another name to escape from my own, though I wanted to.

And the kids at my school never let me forget how “foreign” I was, though I was born in the same place that they were!  No matter how hard I tried to fit in, they wouldn’t let me because of my name.

Only years later did I realize that my name was actually a shield that protected me from falling into regret. That name that my parents gave me prevented me from falling into the misguidance that literally sidetracks other people for decades, if not their whole life.

That name did make me stand out. But it was only later that I discovered that it made me stand out as a believer, as a servant of Allah.

You are different than everyone else around you, and that’s not a bad thing. Yes, it’s so hard and I know how badly you want to just “be normal” and fit in. But Allah has selected you for something better, more honorable and noble. I promise that you will eventually see that, just like I did ….

Discussion Questions for Families

For Teens:

1. Do you introduce yourself by your full name or a nickname? Why?
2. What would it cost you to use your full name? What’s it costing you to hide it?
3. Do you know the story behind your name? If not, are you willing to ask?

For Parents:

1. Have you ever told your child the story of why you chose their name?
2. How do you react when your child uses a nickname instead of their given name?
3. What does your child’s relationship with their name tell you about their relationship with their identity?

For Discussion Together:

1. How can we honor the names we have while growing into them?
2. What would it look like to celebrate our names instead of hiding them?

The Challenge

This week:

• Teens: Use your full name in one new setting
• Parents: Tell your child the full story of their name
• Everyone: When someone mispronounces your name (or your child’s), correct them kindly but firmly

Your name isn’t a burden to explain. It’s a banner to carry. It’s your shield against sin.

Continue the Journey

This is Night 6 of Dr. Ali’s 30-part Ramadan series, “30 Nights with the Quran: Stories for the Seeking Soul.”

Tomorrow, insha Allah: Night 7 is our Week 1 Recap—reviewing the biggest lessons from Identity & Belonging before we move into Week 2: Relationships & Boundaries.

For daily extended reflections with journaling prompts, personal stories, and deeper resources, join Dr. Ali’s email community: https://30nightswithquran.beehiiv.com/

Related:

The Comparison Trap | Night 5 with the Qur’an

When You’re the Only Muslim in the Room | Night 4 with the Qur’an