In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful

Evil thoughts savaged me from every angle, more intensely than I had experienced in recent memory. “This is a punishment,” one of them said. “You are a failure,” said another, “You have come so far for nothing.” I was limping forward, dragging my left leg, my throat burning as if I had swallowed a red-hot ember, my every muscle crying in feverish agony, shivering from the inside to compound the brisk winds from the outside, but I had to answer the voice of the caller, “…I bear witness Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”

At the time, I did not know I was in the early stages of a serious COVID infection for which I was prescribed the harsh anti-viral Remdesivir. I had previously spent some days in Mecca, where I had injured myself while performing the rites of ‘Umrah. Now, I had started to fall apart in Medina as the pain settled itself and the pathogen worked its way through my veins. I did not have the strength to perform some prayers in the Prophet’s Masjid ﷺ as I had intended. Had my ‘Umrah not been accepted? Why could I not do what I came here for? What was the meaning of this trial?

I mobilized the will to leave my bed for the Maghrib prayer, getting as far as the outer courtyard. As if by the merciful wisdom of Providence, the Shaykh recited the opening verse from one of my most beloved chapters,

“Do people think once they say, ‘We believe,’ that they will be left without being put to the test?” [Surah Al-‘Ankabut; 29:2]

It is a remarkable feeling to hear your favorite surah reverberating within your heart just as the sound softly echoes through ‘the City’ where the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and his Companions lived, taught, and died.

Yes, we must expect trials as surely as we expect days of bad weather. Ramadan, especially, was described by the Prophet ﷺ as, “The month of patience.”¹Sunan al-Nasā’ī 2408. I am fasting my twenty-second Ramadan by Allah’s Grace, and I have never known a Ramadan that did not test my patience or those around me. I have seen a loved one pass away, tempers flare, voices raised, wealth destroyed, health decline. Something like it happens every year without exception. I have come to anticipate it.

Just a few months earlier, I reawakened to this universal truth as I absorbed the Shaykh’s recitation. Perhaps the trials of my thoughts were an assault by the Devil, who was jealous that I had surrendered my heart to the Lord in the very place where heaven is closest to earth. Trying his hardest to convince me to think evil of Him, that I had struggled all this time for naught. I recalled that rials are not necessarily bad signs, as the Prophet ﷺ said, “If Allah wills good for someone, He afflicts him with trials.” On the contrary, maybe it would have been a bad sign if everything had gone my way!

Energized by reflection upon this divine sign, an ayah from the living miracle of a Book, I was resolved to see, greet, and bless ‘him’ in person, this man to whom I had devoted my life, whose words filled me with honorable purpose, who I loved more than anyone else in creation, even more than my own self. Making my way to the left through the piazza, beneath the tan folding canopies, I came as close to the green dome as I could possibly get. “Peace be upon you, O Messenger of Allah,” I said in my heart’s tongue, “And peace be upon your Companions, the Truthful and the Distinguisher.”

As I slowly hobbled back to my little hotel, those evil thoughts plaguing me since I had left Mecca were suddenly eclipsed by whispers I am certain were angelic in origin. Allah had enabled me to come all this way for His Sake, to touch the Sacred House in His Worship, to walk and pray in the locales of the best of His Creation, and to visit His Truly Beloved – all of this in spite of my physical misery. Are these celestial privileges granted to such people barred from His love? Nay, they assured me, the trip had been a resounding success!

This Ramadan, you will be faced with discomfort and affliction, troubles and ailments, cruelty and bigotry. You will encounter such people who are domineering, abusive, duplicitous, or selfish. You might lose something or someone dear to you. There will be disasters and calamities, hurricanes and tornadoes, thunder and earthquakes, literally and figuratively. When things do not go your way, as they almost certainly will not, have this thought readily available to you, “Allah does not decree anything for the believers but what is good for them.”²Musnad Aḥmad 12906.

Whatever trials or turmoil the world throws at you this month, there is good reason for it hidden in the Unseen plan of “a merciful Lord.”³Surat Ya Sin 36:58. There is no such thing as bad luck. Rather, bearing it all patiently is good fortune, enduring it all gratefully is a priceless treasure. This thing bothering you, happening to you right now, was written for you before you were born. It is not more than you can handle. Indeed, you could not have escaped it anyway, in so far as the universe unfolds in an endlessly complex web of cause and effect, so throw away such notions as “this thing was bad” and “this thing was good.” Comfort and prosperity leading to sin is nothing to celebrate. The only thing good or bad, as far as you are concerned, is how you will react.

If you can keep your heart and limbs in a state of submission to their Creator, then all is as it should be.

Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best.

Related:

– A Ramadan Quran Journal: A MuslimMatters Series – [Juz 29] Preparing For Trials And Loss

– When Problems Have No Solutions: Making Peace With Endless Trials