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Michael Jackson and Marriage – Yaser Birjas

Published

July 8, 2009

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJrhIpZ0ULM[/youtube]

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Related Topics:Islam Marriage Michael Jackson Yaser Birjas

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Sh. Yaser Birjas

Sh. Yaser Birjas is originally from Palestine. He received his Bachelors degree from Islamic University of Madinah in 1996 in Fiqh & Usool, graduating as the class valedictorian. After graduating, he went on to work as a youth counselor and relief program aide in war-torn Bosnia. Thereafter, he immigrated to the U.S. and currently resides in Dallas, Texas. He is also an instructor at AlMaghrib Institute, where he teaches popular seminars such as Fiqh of Love, The Code Evolved, and Heavenly Hues. He is currently serving as an Imam at Valley Ranch Islamic Center, Irving, Texas. Sh. Yaser continues to enhance his knowledge in various arenas and most recently obtained a Masters of Adult Education and Training from the University of Phoenix, Class of 2013. In addition to his responsibilities as an Imam, Sh. Yaser is a father of four children, he’s an instructor at AlMaghrib Institute, and a national speaker appearing at many conventions and conferences around the country. He is very popular for his classes and workshops covering a wide range of topics related to the youth, marriage, parenting and family life among other social matters related to the Muslim community. His counseling services, in office and online, include providing pre-marital training, marriage coaching and conflict resolution for Muslims living in the West.

24 Comments

Amad

July 8, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Somehow marriage and MJ don’t quite sound right in the same sentence!

Reply
burhan

July 8, 2009 at 12:41 PM

Salaam. I really don’t understand why Muslims are hung up on MJ. Let him rest in peace. Move on to more interesting topics.

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Muslimah09

July 8, 2009 at 1:34 PM

The M.J. post are getting very old. He’s dead and possibly buried somewhere. Muslim/not Muslim….how does this really hurt our individual selves.

Life goes on…I suggest you all do the same.

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Zaynab

July 8, 2009 at 1:37 PM

I don’t understand why people arent talking more about Sister Marwa who was slain in Germany for wearing hijab rather than MJ.

Reply
- Ameera Khan
  
  July 8, 2009 at 2:03 PM
  
  Agreed… I’m waiting for a MM post on this topic, even recommended it to one of the MM staff. These are the issues we should now be highlighting.
  
  Reply
  - amad
    
    July 8, 2009 at 6:47 PM
    
    we would like to address this issue, but having difficulty with time on the part of most of our team. I would add that this story is pretty much viral among Muslim online communities
    
    If you or anyone else would like to write a post on it for us, we’d be happy to review it and post it (if its factually correct).
    
    w/s
    
    Reply
- Abdullah
  
  July 20, 2009 at 9:35 AM
  
  Good zaynab we should switch to more important topic
  
  Reply
MUA

July 8, 2009 at 2:33 PM

I would have to agree with the comments above. I don’t think we can claim to be doing “dawa” in the West, when we get sucked into the discourse of the same popular culture that we find so reprehensible in Islam. But all of this shows a couple things: 1) the allure of Western culture is so great that it’s capable of consuming anything in its path including Muslim activists and leaders (amazing how you can get over 200 comments on this issue compared to less than 30 for one of the most important and challenging issues facing Muslims – “Poverty in Muslim Countries.”) SubhanAllah, we surely are not the ones to carry this deen to its rightful position. 2) We must re-think our articulation and views on Islam, since we’re not succeeding in making it relevant to people; our attempts seem to melt into the prevailing popular culture.

At the same time, I think Muslim Matters provides an excellent opportunity to create a unique discourse on Islam that can of interest to people of different persuasion and views. Inshallah I just hope that MM sees the fine line between reporting on an issue as fyi and being part of the machinery that drives the demand for those issues by indulgence – that really shouldn’t be worthy of much of our time.

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Mikadee

July 8, 2009 at 2:39 PM

While I understand that this matter isn’t important to you, it is important to others. Everybody has topics that are close to them. The life and death of Michael Jackson is of interest to some people. If you aren’t satified with the level of ‘reporting’ on a topic you’re passionate about, be the solution and write about it yourself. Let’s all stop complaining about what isn’t happening especially when we’re not willing to put forth any effort to be the change. To paraphrase Micahel Jackson, lol Start with the person in the mirror when it comes to making changes.

Stop complaining and be the solution. You want to read about XYZ topic.. write about her.

Reply
mystrugglewithin

July 8, 2009 at 2:44 PM

@Zaynab,

Because I could only find one or two stories about Sister Marwa; and, I daily witness 10+ articles, 5+ friends, 10+ facebook feeds about Michael Jackson. This attracts more people to become a “part” of MJ discussions, be it for opposing anymore discussions like we are doing here, or for RIP-MJ. So, everyone is discussing it because even we ourselves, while not willing to discuss it, are dragged to post back opinions.

But trust me, there is a very simple solution. Every time and anywhere, when we see a discussion moving in MJ’s direction, we must intervene. We must intervene by posting information about Sister Marwa (or perhaps about iraq body counts). I am dead sure that this is the only way to stop the bulk of sentimental expressions that follow each and every mention about MJ ..

@Ameera,

I apologetically disagree.. the moment another article on MJ will show up, it’ll be bombarded with bunch of comments and arguments, and would serve as a potential platform to exploit our differences on such petty things. Again, the only solution is that we should stop even doing what I am doing here. We should just stop talking about it! So, I expect no replies to my comment with a single mention of MJ :)

About Sister Marwa,

http://tinyurl.com/nr7xqe
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=235818740400

May Allah bless her with janat-ul-firdous, Ameen.
Asalamalaikum.

Reply
realistic

July 8, 2009 at 3:14 PM

they’re bringing MJ’s case solely to attract viewers and teens . . . i don’t see any harm in it, since in that way we bring people closer to learning more about our deen in anyway possible.

++ plus, many people (including muslims of course) weree huge fans of michael jackson!

you have to admit, he was an AMAZING entertainer . . !

Reply
burhan

July 8, 2009 at 3:59 PM

What did MJ have besides being an entertainer? Have you ever really listened to his lyrics? His old hits are a bunch of sappy platitudes and sleazy innuendo, and later on it was a lot of self-referencing paranoia. He grabbed his crotch a lot. Wake up, please.

Reply
- slave of allah
  
  July 9, 2009 at 1:51 AM
  
  thats not even the point. . some of his lyrics have been inappropriate but you have to ‘wake up’ and realize that today’s generation is unfortunately different and by just claiming about how horrible michael jackson is, will iust lead teens to more rebellion.. we have to attract them gradually, step by step . . and hopefully they’ll wake up one day and realize that music over all is a junk that cannot aid us in ‘akhira’ (the hereafter)
  
  pluss. . so many of the people who listen to his music don’t even pay attention to the lyrics. . more like for his tunes, probably just enjoying the ‘beat’ . .
  
  so please lets end it . . and move on . . lets spread understanding and knowledge in well mannered way.
  
  Reply
  - burhan
    
    July 9, 2009 at 10:35 AM
    
    Who are “they”? Here’s a plea to all would-be Muslim bloggers: Stop using strawmen arguments. They are an instant turn off to people with critical thinking skills.
    
    Reply
h. ahmed

July 8, 2009 at 4:08 PM

For all those complaining about some of our scholars taking their time to write brief statements about Michael Jacksons passing, you must read this post by imam zaid shakir:

Imam Zaid Shakir – The Life of a Muslim Rock Star

Reply
- Hidaya
  
  July 8, 2009 at 10:38 PM
  
  jzk for the link..man the commentator was a bit rude, but Sheikh answered him well.
  
  Reply
burhan

July 8, 2009 at 4:20 PM

Muslims are kind of dumb when they talk about pop culture.

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BintKhalil

July 8, 2009 at 6:27 PM

I, for one, am going to comment on the topic the video addressed – marriage.

The problem with “seizing the moment” (14:40 onward) after a look at a convention is that the man knows nothing

about a woman besides the fact that her countenance is pleasing to him. This might be a shock to some men out there,

but not all women want to be married for their physical appearance.

The problem with most marriage advice out there is that there’s hardly anything for a woman to ensure she marries someone who will be good for her. Instead, you have advice time after time telling men to make sure they like how the women they marry look. However, when a sister once asked a question about the permissibility of declining a proposal because she didn’t find the man pleasing to her eyes, she was told (and I am paraphrasing) that women will always be the more beautiful of the sexes and how, in effect, it is not men’s role (in marriage) to be good looking.

What is good for the goose is not good for the gander apparently, at least not in Islam. In theory, it is (the

rights of women in Islam can be recited by most without pausing for breath) but certainly not in practice.

Why can’t the shuyukh give out advice like – Although you have the right to decline a woman if she is not pleasing

to your eyes, first talk to the woman and if her conduct is pleasing to you, she will begin to look beautiful in your eyes. And that if you believe in love at first sight you truly will never stop looking. Also, that the visual sense is one which tires quickly – the object of interest will be less appealing to you with the passage of time (regardless of the effects of aging); I suppose this is what results in the marriage advice to women to constantly reinvent themselves appearance-wise (Madonna-like, I suppose) so their husbands’ eyes will be honed in solely on them.

For men who say that they need to be married to beautiful women to be rewarded for their not straying into zina

during their years of bachelorhood, I got news for you – your wife isn’t going to look beautiful to you for very

long (as is especially evident from the roving eyes of married men who have the most beautiful of women on their

arms).

This obsession with physical beauty fed by popular culture is something that really needs to be dealt with. When you

hear of Muslim men who have married women who can give Salma Hayek a run for her money against their families’

legitimate advice not to do so and then suffering because of the wives’ less than ideal-Muslimah-like behavior, you can’t help but think that those men had it coming. Muslim men are depriving themselves of women with the most amazing of personalities who can pave their husbands’ path to jannah and who have the potential to be mothers of future Muslims who can shake the Ummah out of its slumber.

And as for the woman’s perspective, if she’s the kind of woman who can garner a proposal from a single “look”, chances are she gets a number of such looks. What would differentiate a man from the other bearers of such “looks” would be a man who actually values her for what she is – for what she thinks she can bring to the table besides her face. Just like a man who is financially blessed is looking for a way to winnow out the gold-diggers, a woman like that is looking for a man who doesn’t consider his wife’s worth proporionate to her looks.

-An unhappy practimate user

Reply
Muslimah09

July 8, 2009 at 9:28 PM

@mikadee – – please shut off your pc now..thanks.

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Umme Ammaarah

July 8, 2009 at 11:21 PM

Sheikh Yaser, may Allah subhanahu wa Ta’Ala reward your efforts and and may they be a part of a true islamic revolution.

@MM: what about an article about the ethnic violence in China…

Reply
usman

July 8, 2009 at 11:58 PM

The deen show is really moving up, i had no idea they broadcasted this with an actual cable provider, mashallah. As always Shaykh Yasir was on point, may Allah increase him in knowledge, wisdom, and reward him immensely.

Reply
Stranger

July 9, 2009 at 1:05 AM

BintKhalil: I completely agree with your points, but I personally haven’t heard the opinion from people that it’s the woman’s job to look good and not so much the mans. I’m not saying that people don’t think this way, just that I personally haven’t heard of such a thing. Also, isn’t there a hadith where a Rasul (saw) allowed a woman to seperate from her husband because she did not want to stay with him because of his looks. Although I think that the case was that the woman had been freed and she therefore had the choice of staying with or divorcing her husband whom she was married to while she was a slave, in which case she divorced him. Allahu A’alam, but the point being that Rasul (saw) took into consideration her feelings for her husband and he took into consideration the fact that she didn’t like the way he looked. So doesn’t this show that a woman obviously also needs to like her spouses looks (not just the other way around), otherwise there wouldn’t be mutual compassion between the two.

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Abdullah

July 14, 2009 at 12:54 AM

mmm..interesting

Reply
srtivinginislam

October 22, 2009 at 12:32 AM

as salam o alaikum
well I just want to say that if MJ was a muslim then he deserves our appreciation and a path to every muslim that if u wish u can choose the right path and remain steadfast to it he could have become the worst of the living beings after success at such an early age; if he was not he was a good human being and owed our respect and he died due to zulm so we should not say anything bad about him as ALLAH only knows who he was and lets repent for commenting on him. we should not say anything regarding his dancing steps since it is evident from QURAN that if ALLAH wills he forgives so we are here not to comment. so try to peep in ur inner self and repent and not comment or u would waste ur time on earth

Reply