In this age of ours, we see that usage of the internet has become widespread. This (internet) has granted people a means through which they write without being known.  Yet, the fact that a person can write while remaining hidden in name and person may cause them to develop the feeling that they are not under watch. And consequently, they cannot be called to account by any ruler, judge or police.

Here, the reality of one's iman is truly revealed. As for he who fears Allah, he would never be audacious enough to write something that he knows will anger Allah , such as attacking the honor of a believer and recklessly speaking according to one's whims.

At this point, the extent of one's fear of Allah is also shown because if you write whatever you like to write, the leader, ruler, judge or security personnel will not be able to reach you if they actually wanted to. So the only remaining matter here is that which is between the slave and his Lord. So if the slave desires to know their level of fear of Allah, then this is one of the times in which true fear of Allah, ta'ala, can be tested.

So the slave should be cautious that he is exposed to the honor of the believers, or that he says a word or a statement about a Muslim that spreads among the people, until he faces its evil consequences, maybe even earning him a bad end to this life.

For, by Allah, if the living were able to see the state of the people of the graves, many of them would turn away from what they are upon (of sinful deeds). Allah has told us about the state of the people in their graves  – and even then, it remains a fact that the being told about something is not the same as living of facing it. But, there are slaves of Allah who – may Allah make us among them – when they read the Quran, they know with certainty that what Allah informed about is true. For them, the Quran serves as a warner as well as a barrier that stands between them and the limits of Allah. Does Allah not say:

“Then in what statement after Allah and His verses will they believe?” (Al-Jāthiyah 45:6).

And Allah also said:

“So in what statement hereafter will they believe?” (Al-A'rāf 7:185)

 So he who knows that one day, he will be an inhabitant of the grave and face questioning, his limbs will desist from disobeying Allah.

The sins are 3 (types):

1. Shirk: and this is not forgiven by Allah.
2. Something between you and Allah, and this is closer to forgiveness.
3. Something that has to do with the rights of the creation. As for this, Allah does not let it go, so much so that the sheep without horns is allowed to take revenge from even the horned sheep.  Although, in the end, they will both be reduced to dust.

How then is the case of a Muslim who prays, fasts and remembers Allah, yet his honor was attacked and his status was lowered through injustice and aggression?

Whoever desires to remind and awaken himself, then he should read the ahadith of the Prophet wherein he describes the life of the barzakh (afterlife). For, in them there are from among the lessons and reminders, those which cause one to fear Allah and be conscious of Him in secret and in public.

One of the righteous (whose name I cannot recall now) advised one of the khulafaa of Bani Ummayyah reminding him that, “if so and so your brother (meaning the khalifah before you) could inform you of what he is facing now (in the grave), you would cease from what you are doing now.”

The khuṭbah had already started. She knew that she was late, but she wanted to attend the Jumu'ah prayer anyway. She quickly picked up her baby and stepped anxiously into the masjid, looking to the left and the right. After all, this was the first time she was here; she had just moved to the area and didn't know anybody. As she sat down in the Sister's Prayer Hall with the baby in her lap while her heart was thumping in her chest. She could feel curious eyes turn in her direction, but she stared hard at the ground, too nervous to meet their gaze and tried to concentrate on what the Imam was saying.

But her baby was nervous too. He didn't know this new place…all these new faces and all the curious eyes. He had never been in a masjid before. He wanted to go home. She knew her baby would be uncomfortable in the new setting, but she thought she could manage. She herself had not been very 'practicing' all her life, but now that she was a mother herself, she felt the importance of an Islamic upbringing. She was determined to teach her baby all about this religion right from the very beginning, but first she had to work on herself. She wanted to learn, she decided that the best place to start learning about Islam would be the masjid and this was her first visit to a masjid.

But the baby was getting restless and she could see that he had already started to whimper. Yet, she hoped she could console him long enough to last through the Prayer. However, much to her dismay, just as the Imam finished the khutbah and said, “Allaahu Akbar,” her baby started crying. At first it was low wail and a whine, but then he let it all out. And she was certainly not prepared for the ear-splitting howl that followed, or the hysterically loud sobbing that accompanied it. WAAWWW!!!

Oh my GOD! What a terrible noise he was making! What should I do?

She thought to herself, panicking. She didn't want to break her prayer. She tried to pick him up, but he was squirming too much. She realized that he was wailing loudly, but there was nothing much she could really do. “After all, he was a baby!” she said to herself. ”I am sure they all understand.”

She wished that the prayer would be over quickly so that she could console her baby. But before the Imam had hardly finished saying the 'Salaam', that they all jumped on her!

“WHY DON'T YOU KEEP THE BABY QUIET!”, they screamed! “DON'T YOU SEE WE ARE PRAYING?”

“Why did you come to the masjid?” Someone muttered, grinding her teeth.

“Stay Home, Next Time!” Another one hissed.

“Bb…But…umm…I…uh…I'm so sorry.” she whispered.

With her head bent low, her eyes downcast, she blinked hard to fight back the tears that suddenly welled up in her eye as she tried so hard to swallow the huge lump in her throat. She thought this was the masjid. This was the place where she and her baby would be welcomed; this was the place she wanted to be, to learn Islam and to teach it to her child.

How can they be so mean to her like that? Didn't they realize that it wasn't her fault that the baby started crying!

Without saying a single word more, she hurriedly gathered her things, picked up her baby and quickly left the masjid, without even looking back once.

Now let's go back to another scenario, 1400 years ago, in a better time, in a better place, in another masjid…by relating to this hadith:

A bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people rushed to beat him. Allah's Apostle ordered them to leave him and pour a bucket or a tumbler (full) of water over the place where he has passed urine. The Prophet then said, “You have been sent to make things easy (for the people) and you have not been sent to make things difficult for them.” [Bukhaari]

This illustrates for us the perfect example of how our behavior should have been. It shows us an unwavering principle of Islam, that is, if in our social life, when any unpleasant incident takes place, we should keep our cool and show tolerance and patience. We should concentrate on finding a solution to the problem and not just think in terms of what punishment to hand out to the problem-maker. We should find means that would alleviate rather than aggravate the problem.

Where is our sense of tolerance and patience? Where is our feeling of compassion and mercy? When and where will we show it, if not in the masjid, of all the places? The Prophet (saw) said:

“He, who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.” [Bukhaari]

Did the sisters forget the time when they had little babies of their own and they cried too?

The Prophet (saw) understood the agony that a mother goes through at such times. That's why he (saw) said:

“When I enter the prayer I intend to prolong it. Then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying.” [Bukhaari]

And aren't we supposed to warmly receive a newcomer, and make them feel wanted and welcomed…especially one who is just coming back to Islam? Isn't being kind and tolerable, the very basis of our deen…the very essence of our Da'wah?

As Allāh says to the Prophet (saw):

“By the grace of Allāh, you are gentle towards the people; if you had been stern and ill-tempered, they would have dispersed from round about you” [159 Al-'Imraan]

Aren't we supposed to behave courteously towards one another? Didn't the Prophet (saw) tell us:

“He is a bad person in the sight of Allāh who does not behave courteously and people shun his company because of his bad manners.” [Bukhaari]

SubhanAllah!

Was this the way to behave with the new sister?

Why weren't we gentle and merciful to her?

Why couldn't we be patient with her and her little baby?

Couldn't we have dealt with the situation better?

Were we a means of pushing her away from coming to the masjid?

These are some of the questions that we seriously need to ask ourselves.

Revive the true spirit of Islam through the 3 P's

PRACTICING – PRODUCTIVE – PROSPEROUS

At the time when Muslim achievement is in a relapse, there is a need for change of Muslim attitudes. The prophetic teachings demonstrate Islam as a way of life. The discharging of religious obligations should increase your productivity in all aspects of life. Being practicing and productive are the two key ingredients to prosperity in the courtyard of Allāh , The Most High. The predominant factor, which dictates the essence of achieving these three P's, is a sound heart that is home to pure intentions. The acquisition of a pure heart is a gift from Allāh , which will enable a person to maintain a balance in all walks of his life.

Islam is a living dimension encompassing the affairs related to all aspects of life, importantly: theology, worship, financial dealings, social etiquette, and purification of the heart. This automatically removes the implication normally associated with religion; that it is restricted to rituals, days and certain seasons of the year. It is clear that Islam is neither time-restricted nor bound to a place of worship; rather it is a complete system that deals with anything you will encounter in your life from the moment you enter until the time you depart from this world. The present situation invites Muslims to be religiously practicing and productive so as to become prosperous. This is especially relevant to the pursuit of further education where it is commonly thought that these elements are distinct; rather they are intertwined.

As Islam is a complete way of life, it has to be understood that the time spent at University is very much a part of your Islam and worship, as long as is it is undertaken with the right and good intention – seeking the pleasure of Allāh . The transition from college to university can be a daunting experience. The concept of individual learning, the requirement to adjust to new teaching methodologies and a greater sense of independent study can leave you feeling lost. Student life is filled with new prospects and opportunities; more often then not the question arises, 'How do I fulfill all my aspirations and ambitions whilst acquiring prophetic excellence in all my pursuits?'

To overcome the hurdles that you face in order to see the light of success, and to achieve your aims you must have to maintain equilibrium in all aspects of your life to seek the pleasure of Allāh as Islam is a religion of moderation.

Allāh says in Qurʾān:

“…Thus have We made of you an Ummah (Nation/Community) justly balanced That ye might be witnesses over the nations and the Messenger a witness over yourselves…” [143 Al-Baqarah]

Here is some advice for achieving the 3 P's: 

1. Become Practicing – Enrich yourself with knowledge:

Aim to study Islam & your degree to a very high standard and to convert all the information you obtain into knowledge. Knowledge is the culmination of acting upon and utilizing the information that has been obtained regardless of whether it has been imparted through a teacher, books or any other means.

You must have a hybrid education of Islam and your degree as this will permit you to become a practicing Muslim without transgressing any limits set by Allāh , in your affairs. If you are aware that you are a Muslim student, then you will easily know how to use your intention to make the best use of your degree in the Islamic way of life.  You will no longer have to draw a distinction between your Islamic and secular life as they will become harmonized. Islamic sciences should be studied alongside your degree to know how to correctly discharge your obligations. Also, you should seek advice and knowledge from the knowledgeable pertaining to your field of study or Islam, for that too is an Islamic way.

Allāh , The Most High says:

“Say, 'Can those who know and those who do not know become equal?' It is only the people of understanding who are receptive of the advice.” [9 Al-Zumar]

Practicing upon what you learn is essential, otherwise the information delivered to you will not be evolved into knowledge but remain as information which could be of no use. Knowledge can only be that information on which you act and that leads you to the guidance.

Everyday, we seek the guidance from  Allāh , reciting Surah Fatihah in our 5 time prayers:

“You alone do we worship, and from You alone do we seek help. Take us on the straight path.” [5, 6 Al-Fātiḥah]

 Action Point: Enroll into a part-time Islamic course online or in your local area. Aim to read and listen to authentic books and lectures discussing the lives of famous Islamic historical figures. This will inspire you to follow in the footsteps of the great personalities that have enriched Muslim heritage.

2. Become productive – The change starts with you:

The times of the Messenger , the Companions (Allāh be pleased with them) and the early generations of Muslims was the most successful and productive in the history of Islam. Muslims made new discoveries, invented new machinery and were coveted by other communities. But the present condition of the Muslim Ummah is in sharp contrast to this and predominantly lacks productivity although Muslims are more in number.

The next duty is to appreciate the value of time by avoiding procrastination and laziness, if you want to be productive.

You must plan your day, make targets and be consistent. As a Muslim student, you must strive to excel in all that you do. Excellence is achieved through being consistent in action. The Messenger said:

“The most beloved deeds to Allāh are those that are done consistently, even if they are few.” [Bukhari]

To become productive, you must ensure that you maintain a routine whereby you set yourself a time and a place for everything. Do not sign up to so much that you cannot cope, conversely,  do not restrict yourself to so little that you are not  utilizing the spare time that you have, but try to optimize your capability and resources.

A few tips to cut on your waste of time are : avoid spending excessive time indistinctly surfing the internet, text messaging, and unnecessary engagement with gadgets; these will prevent you from becoming productive by keeping your mind engaged in them even when you are not really doing it. The heroes of the past knew the importance of a sound heart and how to keep it pure. Allāh says in Qurʾān:

“Success is really attained by he who purifies it [i.e. – the soul], and failure is really suffered by he who corrupts it.” [9, 10 Al-Shams]

With a pure heart, your love, trust, patience, and gratitude in Allāh will increase, and He will Help you in becoming more practicing – productive – prosperous. Not only it will benefit you, but also encourage others to traverse the same, and this will become the “ERA OF REVIVAL” starting with you!

 Action Point: Draft a routine and commit to it. Make long and short-term targets to achieve your objectives and be consistent in meeting your personal goals. Always supplicate to Allāh , especially after the obligatory prayers, that He blesses you with a sound heart and for Him to remove anything that will lead to its corruption.

 3. Become prosperous – Be a beacon of light:

Seeking knowledge is an endless endeavour, as the saying goes, 'the pursuit of knowledge is from the cradle to the grave'. Likewise, self-rectification and purifying the soul is a lifelong struggle. Prosperity in this world is becoming practising and productive, using every moment in your day to draw closer to Allāh . Prosperity in the hereafter is to be blessed with the countenance of Allāh and His everlasting pleasure.

Action Point: You must exert yourself to achieve the prosperity of both worlds to become a beloved servant of Allāh . When Allāh loves you, the people of the world embrace you and you have the opportunity to become a beacon of light in your community.

The Messenger said:

“When Allah loves a slave, He calls Jibra'il (Gabriel) and says, `I love so-and-so; so love him.' And then Jibra'il loves him. Then he (Jibra'il) announces in the heavens saying: Allah loves so-and-so; so love him; then the inhabitants of the heavens (the angels) also love him; and then people on earth love him.”  [Bukhari and Muslim]

We were truly humbled that they were selected among the top 40 under 40 influential people.

Once again, we are humbled that Muslimmatters got yet another opportunity to have their staff nominated for another MBMuslima magazine competition.

Continuing MuslimMatters' writers recognition, now one of our founders, Amad Shaikh, and his wife, Umm Reem, a specialist are up for nomination in MBMuslima's “Extraordinary Muslim Couple Awards”. All nominations can be seen here.

The nomination letter is written by Haleh Banani:
“It gives me great pleasure to recommend a very exceptional and masha'Allah inspiring couple: Amad Shaikh and Umm Reem. My husband and I have known them for over 20 years. As early as the college years, while many people were just starting to search for their religious identities, Amad and Umm Reem were masha'Allah in full gear leading their peers by being the president of the male and female sides of the Muslim Student Association at the University of Houston…” You can continue reading the rest of the letter here.

If you believe, like we do, that this MM couple should receive your vote, then please join us in voting here before June 15th.

Therefore, as you can imagine, I eagerly awaited the latest biography by Professor Manning Marable called “Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention.” He had based his book on a decade worth of research and set out to reveal the man behind the legend. It would be a chance to get to know the character traits and morality of a person who had served as an inspiration to millions across the world. That Marable himself had died days before the book was published made it all the more interesting.

However, the emotion that I experienced whilst reading the book was not one of discovery or insight, but of profound disappointment bordering on disgust. Interspersed between slow and rambling passages, the book is littered with various accusations including that Malcolm X lied about his criminal past in order to sex-up his bad-boy image, that he was involved in a sexual relationship with an elderly white businessman, that he was a hypocrite who drank alcohol whilst calling others to be teetotal and that he carefully airbrushed all these parts out of his autobiography.

An example of the unjustified extrapolation that Marable engages in to arrive at these accusations is how he uses a letter from Malcolm X talking about a rough patch in his marriage and the fact that he was constantly away on speaking tours to come to the wild-leap conclusion that he and Betty were “most likely” unhappy and involved in an extra-marital affairs. Such statements have little evidence beyond the fertile imagination of Marable himself and are more befitting the lowest rung of tabloid newspapers rather than a serious academic text.

Given the amount of speculation deceitfully presented as factual revelations, one would think that the book would be consigned to the garbage tip of history. Instead, the literary community has this week awarded it one of its highest honours – the Pulitzer prize in history. What were they thinking? Perhaps they just wanted to honour a Professor who died before he could see his work published. Perhaps they didn't even read it. Or perhaps they wanted to pull the icon of Malcolm down a peg or two to the level of other great (but morally flawed) leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. or JFK.

To a jaded non-Muslim audience, these “revelations” are not shocking since it is possible for someone to engage in hypocrisy, adultery and lying on a grand scale in their private lives and still have their public image heralded as an example to millions. To Muslims and those who truly love Malcolm X, these accusations are a slur on the character of a martyred comrade, an inspirational leader and – most importantly – a brother in faith.

“A Life of Reinvention” was supposed to epitomize the amazing transformation Malcolm underwent from deep down in the gutter of humanity to one of the most influential figures of the 20^th century. Instead, this biography has ended up as a reinvention too far.

Click here to see all of Haleh's videos on MM

Haleh is now on Facebook & Twitter. Be sure to follow her!

Today's Episode:  Altruism Part 1/2

Pay it forward and see how quickly you can improve the quality of your life and make the world a better place by doing random acts of kindness to strangers without expecting anything in return.

]]> http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/10/haleh-banani-where-psychology-meets-islam-altruism-part-1/feed/ 2 http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/08/response-to-muslim-matters-post-on-halal-mortgages/ http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/08/response-to-muslim-matters-post-on-halal-mortgages/#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 04:55:01 +0000 Guests http://muslimmatters.org/?p=36376 By: Hussam Qutub, Vice President of Communications

The title of a recent blog post that drew over 100 comments on MuslimMatters read “Halal Mortgages: Alleged Misuse of Taqi Usmani's Fatwa and 3 Important Questions.”  What began as perhaps a sincere attempt by the author to alert readers about the abuse of a respected scholar's fatwa and invite Islamic financial institutions to provide as he put it “a little bit of transparency”, resulted in a heated online debate that achieved very little in terms of “removing doubts” about Islamic home finance companies in the US, as originally intended.

Because Guidance Financial Group and its subsidiary, Guidance Residential were mentioned in both the blog and the comments that followed, we felt that a response was appropriate to counter some of the misinformation that has been spread not only about our company, but also the chairman of our Sharia Supervisory Board and the six fatawa he and the other prominent members of our board issued specifically for our Declining Balance Co-Ownership Program. Guidance has helped thousands of Muslim-American families become homeowners through this authenticated program and since our inception in 2002, we have always believed in the value of transparency having issued a comprehensive WhitePaper that provides insight on our unique and pioneering structure.

It is important to start off by clarifying one major matter that could go unnoticed by the reader. It is that the blog begins by quoting Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani as saying “I have never approved any ijarah contract or scheme for any financial institution in America, Australia or Canada.” We would like to emphasize that this statement is in no way, shape or form directed at Guidance or its Program. It is unfortunate that the author mistakenly refers to the ijarah model as a “co-ownership” while in reality Guidance does NOT and has never used the ijarah (lease) structure or contract. Guidance's Program is based on a musharakah mutanaqisa (diminishing partnership) structure, which was developed with the help of and finally approved by our Sharia Supervisory Board led by none other than Mufti Taqi Usmani as its Chairman.

The underlying question that needs to be asked is how can Muslims determine if a financial contract or institution is in compliance with Islamic financial transaction principles? For starters, we would need to know who are the scholars behind the product or institution.  To develop our Program, we spent millions of dollars in research and development over the course of 3 years and involved 18 different law firms while working with 7 of today's most authoritative and highly respected scholars in Islamic finance. The scholars are from 6 different nations and are trained in the different schools of thought. Throughout the development process and beyond, these ulema researched and debated all aspects of Guidance's Program, including the life cycle of the transaction and how it would involve an actual home-buyer.  Eventually, ijma (consensus) was achieved among these renowned scholars and a formal certification through the issuance of fatawa was complete.

To further validate our approach and our Program, one can evaluate the scholars themselves to assure that they are qualified in matters relating to Islamic financial transaction principles. In doing so, you will find that a majority of Guidance's Sharia board members belong to the prominent Sharia board of the Accounting and Auditing Organization for Islamic Financial Institutions (AAOIFI, pronounced “a-yo-fee”), formed in 1990 as an independent, non-profit, international standard-setting body, AAOIFI is the industry standard for Islamic finance practitioners. AAOIFI's regularly updated texts have become the definitive reference work for those seeking a comprehensive rule book about internationally recognized standards in Islamic finance. Its 85 standards cover everything from accounting and auditing to governance and product-specific Sharia standards. The 20 international scholars who sit on AAOIFI's Sharia board are distinguished Islamic scholars who are legally qualified to issue a fatwa and adjudicate on matters of Islamic finance. Guidance is privileged to count among the members of our Sharia board a quarter of AAOIFI's most eminent and authoritative scholars in Islamic finance. In fact, the Chairman of AAOIFI's Sharia board is none other than Mufti Taqi Usmani.

Guidance and its distinguished Sharia board have been sought after for technical expertise in Islamic finance by international organizations in Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, Egypt and Indonesia. In 2007, Guidance helped establish what has become today's leading home finance institution in SaudiArabia – DarAlTamleek. In 2009, Guidance was nominated by the Dubai-based international trade publication Islamic Business and Finance Magazine for the “Best Islamic Home Finance Provider” award. All these efforts did not go unnoticed by the mainstream media and in fact, major outlets like The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Washington Post and even Al Jazeera to name just a few have all recognized Guidance's pioneering endeavors. We hope that more Muslim media outlets delve in to this subject in greater detail for the benefit of our community as a whole.

We would like to extend an open invitation to all of the Muslim Matters staff and its bloggers to talk with us directly and even visit with us at our corporate headquarters in Reston, Virginia. Furthermore, please feel free to communicate directly with me, Hussam Qutub, and ask any and all questions by emailing me at communications@guidanceresidential.com.

In addition to relaying all of the above, Guidance's intention in writing this post was also to answer the questions posed by the author of the article. To that end, we have provided our answers below.

MMQ1:         How often are updated contracts reviewed and approved by a Shari'ah board (“SSB”), and which scholars have signed off on the actual contract being used by an Islamic finance company?

 A1:          Our full Sharia board has signed off on our program as you can see from the link above.  Our Declining Balance Co-Ownership Program documents have not changed from the time reviewed by the scholars. Subsequent to those fatawa, in 2005 and 2006, two additional fatawa were issued to certify adjustments that needed to be made in order for us to serve Texas Muslims while adhering to their state's unique challenges and the second to introduce adjustable programs that were in high demand at the time.

While there have been lots of changes in the mortgage business since the credit crisis in terms of licensing and disclosures, these changes have not impacted our contract or the documents reviewed by our Sharia board. As an FYI, our agreement with our investor, Freddie Mac, does not involve a lending and borrowing relationship of any kind.  And although they have made significant underwriting and operational changes, their documents also have not changed since we started the Program. Part of the reason our contract has stayed intact is that we have a unique and exclusive contract with Freddie Mac. No banks or financial institution can use our agreement without our permission. Additionally, banks in general cannot use our contract by law because banks cannot co-own, they can only lend.

MMQ2:         Are all practices done by the Islamic finance institution during the course of the contract and “declining co-ownership” Shari'ah approved?

 A2:          Yes and we continue to be compliant in all aspects of our business and we are not aware of any aspect that is not compliant.  The entire course of the contract from purchase, transfer and full ownership by client has been studied, observed and deemed compliant with Sharia principles. It is important to note that many disclosures are federally mandated requiring us to use them even though their terminology mischaracterizes the nature of our Program.  For this challenge, we have a fatwa on disclosures that can also be found in the link above.

To further address the authors comments for this question:

“The company itself tried to say that they simply transferred the administrative duties of collecting payment. However, the paperwork from the other bank indicated clearly the transferring of the debt (i.e. selling the debt) from the Islamic company to the bank.”

 Recently, to enhance our customers' overall experience we transferred the servicing of our contracts to a new vendor, namely US Bank's servicing division. To better understand this transfer one would need to understand “servicing” and its place in the mortgage industry. In simple terms, it means collecting and administering monthly payments, mailing monthly statements, fielding questions and handling late payments. For a company of the size of Guidance, this administrative task is usually contracted out to vendors that will then act on behalf of a home financing company and become an extension of their operation. In our situation, although the vendor handles all our correspondence with existing customers, everything is done in our company's name and all payments made by our customers are made to Guidance.

The process of transferring from one servicer to another is a complicated and often challenging administrative process.  There are federally mandated letters that must be sent out to all customers by the old and new servicer on behalf of the home financing company. During our transfer period, some of this mandated correspondence was sent out on our behalf with language that did not properly characterize our Program. Unfortunately, this caused some concern among our customers and we have since worked diligently to address and clarify the situation.  At the end, we admit that this could have been handled better but it must be said that this in no way changes the contract or compromises our program. If it is unclear or requires any further clarification, please contact us.

MMQ3:         How are inconsistencies between what Mufti Taqi Usmani advocates in his writings and the actual schemes used by these banks to be addressed?

 A3:          First, we recommend that all Islamic financial institutions establish an independent Sharia board consisting of specialized, distinguished and credible scholars that regulate their specific products and services in the context of laws in the land they wish to operate as Guidance has done. Second, consumers need to do their due diligence in understanding not only who the scholars are but also how the program is designed to work.

If one were to investigate further in Mufti Usmani's writing and our White Paper, which was approved by our board, Guidance's Declining Balance Co-ownership Program is designed to create a co-ownership for the purpose of providing the home-buyer with financing to acquire a home. This co-ownership is based on Shirkat ul Milk. It is not designed as a commercial partnership (Shirkat ul Aqd) for the purpose of making profit from trading in real estate. Consequently, the Program is intended for the customer to fully buy out Guidance's share in the property over time, and not for the two co-owners to sell the property jointly and share the gains.

The White Paper further stipulates that should the home buyer sell earlier than the term agreed upon, the appreciation that the property will have likely earned is theirs to keep since they did all the leg work to identify the community and property. If the property sells for a loss then the shortfall is something they must consider. However, if the property depreciated so much that the shortfall is below what is considered Guidance's share in the property, Guidance incorporates a unique “non-recourse” clause that protects the seller in this case from owing the full amount to Guidance. We would consider the difference a loss on our books.

Furthermore, if the government were to impose on the co-owners to sell the property in order to make room for a road, a park or another public project the Co-ownership Agreement specifically stipulates that the two co-owners would share the gains or losses from such a forced sale according to their ownership shares. As a result, Guidance may end up with proceeds that fall short of the amount of financing it had provided, in contrast with what would be owed under a conventional mortgage loan.

The principle that the two co-owners should share in the gains and losses of their respective shares in the property applies to situations other than a sale. Consider the example of a property that suffers total destruction and cannot be repaired using available insurance proceeds. In this case again, the Co-ownership Agreement stipulates that the two co-owners would share the insurance proceeds according to their ownership shares, resulting in an outcome quite different from that of a loan.

All of the above items and questions were addressed and documented in the fatawa and white papers that were certified and amended by our board in 2002, 2005 and 2006. We can always try to facilitate a direct discussion for an extensive and more thorough analysis between your staff and our Sharia board. Our only request is for due diligence and open communication.

 Helping the Oppressor (Bully):

The Prophet Muhammad taught us the importance of offering assistance to both those who are being oppressed and those who are the oppressors by ending the cycle of abuse.  In the case of both the victims and the bullies, it is important to acknowledge that anger is a natural emotion and to help the oppressor to use healthy ways to express this anger.

We often worry what we will do if our child is being bullied, but what if  it is our child who is the one doing the bullying?  Here are some ways in which you can help:

1. Empower your child inside the home by giving him/her choices (i.e. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”  “Let's plan the annual family trip together.”).  When a child feels empowered by the adults in her life, she won't seek to overpower her peers through bullying and intimidation.
2. Get more involved in your child's life and show genuine interest in what your child does and says.  This makes a child feel important and less likely to seek attention through aggressive means.
3. Firm limits are imperative for objectionable behaviors; ensure that you are consistent in enforcing consequences for misbehavior.  For example, if your child hits his brother often, set a limit: “If you choose to hit your brother, you choose not to play with the PlayStation over the weekend.  If you choose to play nicely with you brother, you choose to play with the PlayStation over the weekend.”  By phrasing the limit in this way, your child understands that he is in control of his actions and, therefore, the consequences.
4. Be sure to act as a positive role model for your child.  If your child overhears you    gossiping about a friend over the phone, she  may take this as a green light to start cruel rumors about others in her class at school.  If you physically punish your child for misbehavior, he may view physical harshness as the way to show his power over his classmates.
5. Teach your children how to express their emotions in non-physical and healthy ways; allow yourself to be a nonjudgmental, understanding presence in whom they can always confide.  Encourage open communication to discuss emotions asking questions like, “Was there a time that you felt angry/ jealous/ competitive/ mean/ frustrated/etc.?”  Help your child to own up to her feelings rather than bottling them up inside and suppressing them; emotions will come out one way or another so we need to try our best to equip our children with healthy methods of self-expression.

Helping the Oppressed (Victim of Bullying):

And now some tips on what to do when it is your child who is the victim of bullying:

1. The best thing, by far, that you can do for a child who is being bullied is to be an active listener.  It is amazing how healing a listening ear can be.  Each day, ask how school went, hold your child when she cries, and talk things out.  This might not seem like much but it is vital to the healing process.

2. Allow your home to be a refuge and a sanctuary for your children.  Make it a place where they can be filled with love, support and have a feeling of self-worth.

3. Talk to siblings about what they can do to help.  Your children might not know what to anticipate in their classrooms from day-to-day but they should be able to expect peace and calmness when they enter your home.  Having a stable foundation to return to on a daily basis can mean the difference between a child being able to handle a bully versus feeling completely unequipped.

4. Be sure to have a family dinner at least once a week; they provide an excellent time to talk together and encourage dialogue.  I remember my mother insisting that everyone eat at the kitchen table every single day at 6 pm.  It made such a huge difference to know that I would have a venue to express myself each day.
5. Pay close attention to the way you react in front of your child when he speaks to you about being bullied.  If you begin to weep uncontrollably, you have reversed roles and instead of comforting your child, you are the one who needs to be taken care of.  This may even stop your child from confiding in you since he may worry that it is too overwhelming for you to bear.  Simply respond in a loving way but don't make your child's battle into your battle; allow your child a sense of autonomy and empowerment by helping her to find ways to deal with it on her own.  Here, role playing exercises can be very helpful.  Engage with your child by pretending to be the bully and brainstorming responses together.

Find out who is bullying your child, how long this has been going on, how the bullying manifests itself and whether the teacher knows this is happening.  Come up with a plan with your child including strategies she can use.

• Move seat or switch classes, you may even go as far as switching schools.  This might seem extreme but your child's psychological and emotional health, as well as self-esteem is on the line.
• Stay with a friend or group of friends during recess, at the bus stop, in the cafeteria or wherever bullying is apt to happen.
• Bullying is no longer limited to face-to-face interactions.  If cyber bullying is occurring, get off of Facebook and other social networks or at least block the people who are bullying her.
• Come up with a safety plan for your child.  A good one can be found here.

Enduring bullying is an incredibly humiliating experience for a child.  She may be afraid that you will be disappointed, that you won't understand her experiences, that you might worry too much, or even that you might side with the bully.  It is imperative to show your child that you are nonjudgmental and to allow him/her to come to you with anything that happens at school.  Ask questions that can lead your child to open up.  Introducing these questions in the third person makes them less personal and may allow your child to feel better equipped to discuss them.

• When a boy wants to be mean, what does he do?
• When a girl wants to be mean, what does she do?
• Does the teacher notice?  What does she do?
• Do people ever start rumors?
• Can friends be mean to each other?  How?

Bullying can have a devastating effect on a child's self-esteem, social skills and ability to trust others.  Here are some ways to counteract this negativity:

• Encourage your child to join groups/clubs/teams inside and outside of school.  Make sure that these are places where contributions are valued and where other members are disconnected from the bullying she experiences in the classroom.  Get your child a membership at a local YMCA, bring her to masjid activities, help her choose a hobby and connect with others with the same interest.  This will give your child a support system and help her to understand that the bullying has nothing to do with her since she will see that others accept her just as she is.

• Get therapy for your child if you notice she is becoming overwhelmed with what is happening.  This can be an excellent measure to prevent the issues from escalating into depression or an anxiety disorder.

• Speak to the school counselor or teacher after consulting with your child.  Please make sure that this is a step that she wants to take.  Be sure to stay calm when discussing the situation with them; it means a lot to your child to see that you are being a strong, firm advocate for them and that you are not overwhelmed.

A United Methodist pastor in rural Tennessee, named Brad Smith, said something beautiful: “God of all people, all shapes and all sizes, all races and all nationalities, all orientations and identities, and all abilities, I pray for all those who will struggle this year as victims of bullying. I pray for those who will be teased relentlessly verbally and online. I pray for those who will be physically assaulted because they are different. I pray for those who have to change in the locker room. I pray for those who think they are alone. They are not. I pray for those who think hope is gone. It is not. I pray for those who think suicide is the only escape. It gets better. I pray for the parents of the bullied who feel helpless to protect their child. God help them. Strengthen them. Show them your love. Let them feel your hope.  Not only this, but I also pray for those who engage in bullying. I pray for those whose self-worth and self-esteem seems tied to making others hurt. I pray for the parents of bullies who ignore the signs and think their child could never do this. I pray for the teachers who stand up for kids and for the teachers who ignore the problem. I pray for those who think this is just a rite of passage. It is not. I pray that not one child this year decides that suicide is the answer. I pray for those who succumbed to hopelessness. I pray that we can all learn from the mistakes and tragedies of the past and that we can protect our children and let every child know they are of great worth.”

Ameen.

As someone who had no younger sibling; who never in her life babysat any little children for even an hour; who has more than the average penchant for personal privacy, solitude and demarcated boundaries of living space, I often find myself at the receiving end of the following question:

How can you have your children (now numbering three, masha'Allah) around at home all day without going crazy?

I was at some point along the first-time parenting journey myself such a skeptic who would have asked any other homeschooling mother exactly the same question! What's more, I would have privately questioned her sanity or marveled at her – what was for me – an almost superhuman level of patience and forbearance.

However, this post is not about homeschooling per se, perchance I alienate those conscientious parents who are striving to bring up their children well but choose to send them to school, lest they stop reading ahead with a dismissive eye roll.

In this post I want to talk about how, as a parent, something inside me regarding my inner views about parenting changed along the way, and today I want to talk about just that (i.e. what changed).

Answer: My own mindset – the way I chose to perceive the presence of my children around me for most part of the day – tantrums, bawls, dirty diapers, runny noses, incessant interruptions, and unwelcome preemption, et al.

I was once a snap-happy, cranky, short-tempered, prone-to-scream-at-the-drop-of-a-hat mother; at least I hope that now, I am less of that, as compared to when I had just one toddler and blew a fuse as soon as she climbed up on a chair and toppled a bowl of hot milk or tea on the dining table as soon as I turned my back.

Fact is, it was analysis of the words of Allah in the Quran, and incidents in the seerah of His Prophet [صلى الله عليه و سلم] that made me change the way I thought. There are a few historic events narrated in the Quran that highlight how someone young, a child or a teenager at the most, helped an adult in his or her work, quest or journey.

Consequently, now when I look at my children and realize that they are just that – little human beings pre-programmed by Allah to act and react a certain way to environmental stimuli because of the age they are at – I cringe and seek forgiveness from Allah for my past skewed perception of them as a new parent.

The sister of Prophet Musa helping her mother get him back

A young mother-daughter duo worked as a team once to deal with the separation of a new baby boy. Yes, I find it endearing to read in the Quran, how the older sister of Prophet Musa [عليه السلام] helped her mother fend off anxiety and sorrow after the latter submitted to Allah's command and put her infant son afloat in a river inside a chest:

إِذْ أَوْحَيْنَا إِلَى أُمِّكَ مَا يُوحَى

“Recall (when) We inspired in your mother that which is inspired,” [20:38]

وَأَوْحَيْنَا إِلَى أُمِّ مُوسَى أَنْ أَرْضِعِيهِ فَإِذَا خِفْتِ عَلَيْهِ فَأَلْقِيهِ فِي الْيَمِّ وَلَا تَخَافِي وَلَا تَحْزَنِي إِنَّا رَادُّوهُ إِلَيْكِ وَجَاعِلُوهُ مِنَ الْمُرْسَلِينَ

“And We inspired the mother of Moses, saying: Suckle him and, when you fear for him, then cast him into the river and fear not nor grieve. Lo! We shall bring him back unto you and shall make him (one) of Our messengers.” [28:7]

Anyone who has a baby (and even those who don't) can perhaps only imagine the pain Prophet Musa's mother must have felt upon being separated from her infant boy; how she must have summoned up enough fortitude and trust in Allah to cast her baby into a chest along a flowing river! Yet, she did it.

After her infant vanished from her sight, and her heart became empty, her “apprentice” came to her aid:

إِذْ تَمْشِي أُخْتُكَ فَتَقُولُ هَلْ أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى مَن يَكْفُلُهُ فَرَجَعْنَاكَ إِلَى أُمِّكَ كَيْ تَقَرَّ عَيْنُهَا وَلَا تَحْزَنَ وَقَتَلْتَ نَفْسًا فَنَجَّيْنَاكَ مِنَ الْغَمِّ وَفَتَنَّاكَ فُتُونًا فَلَبِثْتَ سِنِينَ فِي أَهْلِ مَدْيَنَ ثُمَّ جِئْتَ عَلَى قَدَرٍ يَا مُوسَى

“Behold! Your sister went forth and said, 'Shall I show you one who will nurse and rear the (child)?' So We brought you back to your mother, that her eye might be cooled and she should not grieve…..” [20:40]

Why did the sister step in to help? I think that perhaps if the mother had herself followed the chest containing the infant down the river, it would have roused onlookers' suspicion that the infant belonged to her i.e. it was her own son. Further, since the Israelites were killing the male babies that year, the baby might have gotten killed as a result.

In order to be discreet in the pursuit of the baby, and also perhaps because a young girl child can perhaps run faster without garnering others' attention to herself in public than a mother whose heart is torn with sorrow, the older sister of the infant not only kept the floating chest in sight but also played a key role in Allah's plan of returning Prophet Musa to her mother without being killed that year:

According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir: “Then, his sister came and said, هَلْ أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتٍ يَكْفُلُونَهُ لَكُمْ وَهُمْ لَهُ نَـصِحُونَ – “Shall I direct you to a household who will rear him for you, and look after him in a good manner?”. She meant, “Shall I guide you to someone who can nurse him for you for a fee?” So she took him and they went with her to his real mother. When her breast was presented to him, he took it and they (Firaun's family) were extremely happy for this. Thus, they hired her to nurse him and she achieved great happiness and comfort because of him, in this life and even more so in the Hereafter.”

By pondering on this incident in the Quran, I realized that Allah has used even young children to establish His decree on earth and used their “services” to carry out his Divine plans.

Could it be that children are smarter and more capable of handling responsibilities than we think?

The young lad traveling with Prophet Musa to seek knowledge

In Surah Al-Kahf, Allah describes how Prophet Musa [عليه السلام] firmly resolved to go on traveling until he could meet and attain knowledge from Khidr. Interestingly, he had a young lad with him throughout his journey, who was called Yusha Bin Nun, and their closeness and mutual companionship is evident from the way they talk about matters:

وَإِذْ قَالَ مُوسَى لِفَتَاهُ لَا أَبْرَحُ حَتَّى أَبْلُغَ مَجْمَعَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ أَوْ أَمْضِيَ حُقُبًا

“Behold, Moses said to his attendant, “I will not give up until I reach the junction of the two seas or (until) I spend years and years in travel.” [18:60]

The Arabic word used for the young lad is “فَتًى”, which means a youth in the prime of life (Lane). This implies a boy who is a tween or in his early teens.

At one point in their journey in the quest for knowledge, this young boy – the apprentice – played a key role in informing Prophet Musa [عليه السلام], when the latter asked him to bring him his food, about how their fish had escaped from them and taken a route in the sea, and how Shaitan had made him forget to inform him before about this:

قَالَ أَرَأَيْتَ إِذْ أَوَيْنَا إِلَى الصَّخْرَةِ فَإِنِّي نَسِيتُ الْحُوتَ وَمَا أَنسَانِيهُ إِلَّا الشَّيْطَانُ أَنْ أَذْكُرَهُ وَاتَّخَذَ سَبِيلَهُ فِي الْبَحْرِ عَجَبًا

“Did you see (what happened) when we betook ourselves to the rock? I did indeed forget (about) the Fish: none but Satan made me forget to tell (you) about it: it took its course through the sea in a marvellous way!” [18:63]

The escape of the salted dead fish into the water after coming back to life, was actually meant to be a signal from Allah that they had reached the place where they would find Khidr (Tafsir Ibn Kathir). When the lad told him this, Prophet Musa replied: “This is that which we have been seeking!” and then they both retraced their steps to that point in order to finally find and meet Khidr.

This incident brings to light quite a few things about adults dealing with youths:

1. Adults should delegate responsibility to young people (tweens, teens, or even younger) and allow them to help them in their daily tasks, especially during strenuous journeys.
2. We should take our children along on quests for knowledge of Deen.
3. It really is okay for children to hang out with adults, contrary to the contemporary trend of pressuring children as young as two to “socialize” mostly with same-age peers and friends.
4. Adults should have a frank and friendly relationship with younger people, especially their own children, students or helpers. Such an open and friendly relationship can make both benefit from apprenticeship. It was this easygoing openness that allowed Prophet Musa's attendant to openly tell him about the escape of the fish, and admit that it was Shaitan that had made him forget to tell him. Note how he doesn't lie nor give flimsy excuses, but comes clean and speaks up honestly.
5. Adults should forgive and overlook the mistakes and errors of youths, as did Prophet Musa.
6. One of the biggest advantages of being old(er) is that younger ones can serve you! E.g. Bringing you your food when you are tired. ;)

Prophet Ismail helping his father build the Ka'bah

Another interesting and historically poignant event narrated in the Quran involves a father-son duo doing what many father-son pairs would love doing in any era: a construction or building project. Only, the building they were putting together was no ordinary one:

وَعَهِدْنَا إِلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْمَاعِيلَ أَن طَهِّرَا بَيْتِيَ لِلطَّائِفِينَ وَالْعَاكِفِينَ وَالرُّكَّعِ السُّجُودِ

“..And We imposed a duty upon Ibrahim and Ismael, (saying): Purify My house for those who go around and those who meditate therein and those who bow down and prostrate themselves (in worship).” [2:125]

وَإِذْ يَرْفَعُ إِبْرَاهِيمُ الْقَوَاعِدَ مِنَ الْبَيْتِ وَإِسْمَاعِيلُ رَبَّنَا تَقَبَّلْ مِنَّا إِنَّكَ أَنتَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

“And when Ibrahim and Ismael were raising the foundations of the House, (Abraham prayed): Our Lord! Accept from us (this duty). Lo! You, only You, are the Hearer, the Knower.” [2:127]

We already know that Prophet Ibrahim was quite old when two sons, first Ismail and then Ishaq, were born to him. This indicates the considerable age difference between Prophet Ibrahim and Prophet Ismail when they were instructed by Allah to not just construct the holy Ka'bah, but to also purify it from the filth of idols and other physical and sexual impurities (Tafsir Ibn Kathir).

Once again, the Quran encourages us parents, albeit indirectly, to employ the aid, help and companionship of our children, even when the latter are young (barely out of childhood) in all our endeavors, but in particular, in those of our efforts, activities, toils and quests that are aimed at seeking the pleasure of Allah and upholding or propagating the Deen of Islam (monotheism).

In the above verses, it is obvious that not only did the young son help his elderly father physically build the Ka'bah, but he also helped him purify it, then engaged along with him in earnest supplication to Allah that He accept their efforts.

Contrast that to how some modern-day parents are themselves extremely active in propagating knowledge of Deen and doing Da'wah, yet their children are always in others' company, be it nannies when they are younger, or secular-minded (or even atheist) friends when they are older.

I have personally attended religious talks in homes where the youngsters are never in attendance as their mother or father discusses/teaches the Quran to others. They are either watching television, out socializing with friends, or shut up in their rooms studying for exams.

It is a bit alarming to witness some Muslim families in which the parents are righteous and obey the tenets of Islam, and on top of that, they have been doing active teaching of the Quran and sunnah since their children were minors, yet as these children of theirs grow up, they seem to disregard obedience to even the obligatory rules and commands of Islam, such as praying all the five daily salah's or observing hijab at the mandated time.

As the years pass, a clear diversion is seen in the lifestyle and religiosity of the children of some da'ee's and religious teachers, from the path of righteousness that their parents have adopted for themselves, so much so that, as the parents go off for recurring umrah, hajj, and Islamic da'wah retreats, the young children stay back at home, going out on dates or to drinking parties with their romantic partners and other friends. Are you surprised? It is more common than we acknowledge.

The Quran should make us modern-day parents who think that religion is a personal matter and a “choice” that their little children should make on their own once they reach the age of maturity, wake up and smell the coffee: we should take our children along with ourselves on the journey towards Allah as soon as we can, since they are little (even babies), and try not to leave them with human or digital babysitters to “come towards religion on their own”, when they get older.

In answer to the question…

I have alhamdulillah come a long, long way since my perception of my children as noise-creators, troublemakers, clutter-generators and stress-inducers who need to be run after and coerced to behave properly.

Now I see them as my young “apprentices” in the path of Deen, albeit ones who need a stern eye and a reprimand here and there when they, acting upon their natural human instincts, act naughtily or behave mischievously.

I find myself enamored by their honesty (they are frank and upfront to the point of being totally blunt), intrigued by their relentless spontaneity, and in complete admiration of their positivity and lack of grudges and enmity for others.

I now love having these wonderful beings in my life 24/7, because contrary to what it appears to be like, I am learning immensely from them. For the first time in my life, I am spending days and nights in the company of human beings who have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, an incessant curiosity about the world around them; an insatiable ability to ask questions until they get satisfactory answers, and a refreshingly tireless interest in others, especially in their Lord, Allah, and in the reality about the life of this world.

As little hands help me pick up the crumbs from the carpet, fold the laundry, wipe the counter and even massage my forehead when I am tired, I sorely regret and seek forgiveness for ever considering these “apprentices” to be the cause of unwelcome interruptions and “disturbances” in my so-called hitherto peaceful and methodical life, and thank Allah with the bottom of my heart for giving me little helpers in the path of His Deen, who will hopefully always be my side as we tread along it to reach the final, coveted destination: Allah's pleasure in the Hereafter.

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