Click here to see all of Haleh's videos on MM

Today's Episode:  Gratitude Part 1/2

Click here to see all of Haleh's videos on MM

Haleh is now on Facebook & Twitter. Be sure to follow her!

Today's Episode:  Altruism Part 2/2

Pay it forward and see how quickly you can improve the quality of your life and make the world a better place by doing random acts of kindness to strangers without expecting anything in return.

The khuṭbah had already started. She knew that she was late, but she wanted to attend the Jumu'ah prayer anyway. She quickly picked up her baby and stepped anxiously into the masjid, looking to the left and the right. After all, this was the first time she was here; she had just moved to the area and didn't know anybody. As she sat down in the Sister's Prayer Hall with the baby in her lap while her heart was thumping in her chest. She could feel curious eyes turn in her direction, but she stared hard at the ground, too nervous to meet their gaze and tried to concentrate on what the Imam was saying.

But her baby was nervous too. He didn't know this new place…all these new faces and all the curious eyes. He had never been in a masjid before. He wanted to go home. She knew her baby would be uncomfortable in the new setting, but she thought she could manage. She herself had not been very 'practicing' all her life, but now that she was a mother herself, she felt the importance of an Islamic upbringing. She was determined to teach her baby all about this religion right from the very beginning, but first she had to work on herself. She wanted to learn, she decided that the best place to start learning about Islam would be the masjid and this was her first visit to a masjid.

But the baby was getting restless and she could see that he had already started to whimper. Yet, she hoped she could console him long enough to last through the Prayer. However, much to her dismay, just as the Imam finished the khutbah and said, “Allaahu Akbar,” her baby started crying. At first it was low wail and a whine, but then he let it all out. And she was certainly not prepared for the ear-splitting howl that followed, or the hysterically loud sobbing that accompanied it. WAAWWW!!!

Oh my GOD! What a terrible noise he was making! What should I do?

She thought to herself, panicking. She didn't want to break her prayer. She tried to pick him up, but he was squirming too much. She realized that he was wailing loudly, but there was nothing much she could really do. “After all, he was a baby!” she said to herself. ”I am sure they all understand.”

She wished that the prayer would be over quickly so that she could console her baby. But before the Imam had hardly finished saying the 'Salaam', that they all jumped on her!

“WHY DON'T YOU KEEP THE BABY QUIET!”, they screamed! “DON'T YOU SEE WE ARE PRAYING?”

“Why did you come to the masjid?” Someone muttered, grinding her teeth.

“Stay Home, Next Time!” Another one hissed.

“Bb…But…umm…I…uh…I'm so sorry.” she whispered.

With her head bent low, her eyes downcast, she blinked hard to fight back the tears that suddenly welled up in her eye as she tried so hard to swallow the huge lump in her throat. She thought this was the masjid. This was the place where she and her baby would be welcomed; this was the place she wanted to be, to learn Islam and to teach it to her child.

How can they be so mean to her like that? Didn't they realize that it wasn't her fault that the baby started crying!

Without saying a single word more, she hurriedly gathered her things, picked up her baby and quickly left the masjid, without even looking back once.

Now let's go back to another scenario, 1400 years ago, in a better time, in a better place, in another masjid…by relating to this hadith:

A bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people rushed to beat him. Allah's Apostle ordered them to leave him and pour a bucket or a tumbler (full) of water over the place where he has passed urine. The Prophet then said, “You have been sent to make things easy (for the people) and you have not been sent to make things difficult for them.” [Bukhaari]

This illustrates for us the perfect example of how our behavior should have been. It shows us an unwavering principle of Islam, that is, if in our social life, when any unpleasant incident takes place, we should keep our cool and show tolerance and patience. We should concentrate on finding a solution to the problem and not just think in terms of what punishment to hand out to the problem-maker. We should find means that would alleviate rather than aggravate the problem.

Where is our sense of tolerance and patience? Where is our feeling of compassion and mercy? When and where will we show it, if not in the masjid, of all the places? The Prophet (saw) said:

“He, who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.” [Bukhaari]

Did the sisters forget the time when they had little babies of their own and they cried too?

The Prophet (saw) understood the agony that a mother goes through at such times. That's why he (saw) said:

“When I enter the prayer I intend to prolong it. Then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying.” [Bukhaari]

And aren't we supposed to warmly receive a newcomer, and make them feel wanted and welcomed…especially one who is just coming back to Islam? Isn't being kind and tolerable, the very basis of our deen…the very essence of our Da'wah?

As Allāh says to the Prophet (saw):

“By the grace of Allāh, you are gentle towards the people; if you had been stern and ill-tempered, they would have dispersed from round about you” [159 Al-'Imraan]

Aren't we supposed to behave courteously towards one another? Didn't the Prophet (saw) tell us:

“He is a bad person in the sight of Allāh who does not behave courteously and people shun his company because of his bad manners.” [Bukhaari]

SubhanAllah!

Was this the way to behave with the new sister?

Why weren't we gentle and merciful to her?

Why couldn't we be patient with her and her little baby?

Couldn't we have dealt with the situation better?

Were we a means of pushing her away from coming to the masjid?

These are some of the questions that we seriously need to ask ourselves.

Click here to see all of Haleh's videos on MM

Haleh is now on Facebook & Twitter. Be sure to follow her!

Today's Episode:  Altruism Part 1/2

Pay it forward and see how quickly you can improve the quality of your life and make the world a better place by doing random acts of kindness to strangers without expecting anything in return.

]]> http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/10/haleh-banani-where-psychology-meets-islam-altruism-part-1/feed/ 2 http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/07/bullying-islam-and-everything-in-between-practical-tips/ http://muslimmatters.org/2012/05/07/bullying-islam-and-everything-in-between-practical-tips/#comments Mon, 07 May 2012 06:02:07 +0000 Sarah S. http://muslimmatters.org/?p=36365 In part one of this short series, we discussed the definition of, ways of identifying, and the effects of bullying.  Here, we will move on to practical tips and possible solutions to assist our children and ourselves in coping with this vice.

 Helping the Oppressor (Bully):

The Prophet Muhammad taught us the importance of offering assistance to both those who are being oppressed and those who are the oppressors by ending the cycle of abuse.  In the case of both the victims and the bullies, it is important to acknowledge that anger is a natural emotion and to help the oppressor to use healthy ways to express this anger.

We often worry what we will do if our child is being bullied, but what if  it is our child who is the one doing the bullying?  Here are some ways in which you can help:

1. Empower your child inside the home by giving him/her choices (i.e. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”  “Let's plan the annual family trip together.”).  When a child feels empowered by the adults in her life, she won't seek to overpower her peers through bullying and intimidation.
2. Get more involved in your child's life and show genuine interest in what your child does and says.  This makes a child feel important and less likely to seek attention through aggressive means.
3. Firm limits are imperative for objectionable behaviors; ensure that you are consistent in enforcing consequences for misbehavior.  For example, if your child hits his brother often, set a limit: “If you choose to hit your brother, you choose not to play with the PlayStation over the weekend.  If you choose to play nicely with you brother, you choose to play with the PlayStation over the weekend.”  By phrasing the limit in this way, your child understands that he is in control of his actions and, therefore, the consequences.
4. Be sure to act as a positive role model for your child.  If your child overhears you    gossiping about a friend over the phone, she  may take this as a green light to start cruel rumors about others in her class at school.  If you physically punish your child for misbehavior, he may view physical harshness as the way to show his power over his classmates.
5. Teach your children how to express their emotions in non-physical and healthy ways; allow yourself to be a nonjudgmental, understanding presence in whom they can always confide.  Encourage open communication to discuss emotions asking questions like, “Was there a time that you felt angry/ jealous/ competitive/ mean/ frustrated/etc.?”  Help your child to own up to her feelings rather than bottling them up inside and suppressing them; emotions will come out one way or another so we need to try our best to equip our children with healthy methods of self-expression.

Helping the Oppressed (Victim of Bullying):

And now some tips on what to do when it is your child who is the victim of bullying:

1. The best thing, by far, that you can do for a child who is being bullied is to be an active listener.  It is amazing how healing a listening ear can be.  Each day, ask how school went, hold your child when she cries, and talk things out.  This might not seem like much but it is vital to the healing process.

2. Allow your home to be a refuge and a sanctuary for your children.  Make it a place where they can be filled with love, support and have a feeling of self-worth.

3. Talk to siblings about what they can do to help.  Your children might not know what to anticipate in their classrooms from day-to-day but they should be able to expect peace and calmness when they enter your home.  Having a stable foundation to return to on a daily basis can mean the difference between a child being able to handle a bully versus feeling completely unequipped.

4. Be sure to have a family dinner at least once a week; they provide an excellent time to talk together and encourage dialogue.  I remember my mother insisting that everyone eat at the kitchen table every single day at 6 pm.  It made such a huge difference to know that I would have a venue to express myself each day.
5. Pay close attention to the way you react in front of your child when he speaks to you about being bullied.  If you begin to weep uncontrollably, you have reversed roles and instead of comforting your child, you are the one who needs to be taken care of.  This may even stop your child from confiding in you since he may worry that it is too overwhelming for you to bear.  Simply respond in a loving way but don't make your child's battle into your battle; allow your child a sense of autonomy and empowerment by helping her to find ways to deal with it on her own.  Here, role playing exercises can be very helpful.  Engage with your child by pretending to be the bully and brainstorming responses together.

Find out who is bullying your child, how long this has been going on, how the bullying manifests itself and whether the teacher knows this is happening.  Come up with a plan with your child including strategies she can use.

• Move seat or switch classes, you may even go as far as switching schools.  This might seem extreme but your child's psychological and emotional health, as well as self-esteem is on the line.
• Stay with a friend or group of friends during recess, at the bus stop, in the cafeteria or wherever bullying is apt to happen.
• Bullying is no longer limited to face-to-face interactions.  If cyber bullying is occurring, get off of Facebook and other social networks or at least block the people who are bullying her.
• Come up with a safety plan for your child.  A good one can be found here.

Enduring bullying is an incredibly humiliating experience for a child.  She may be afraid that you will be disappointed, that you won't understand her experiences, that you might worry too much, or even that you might side with the bully.  It is imperative to show your child that you are nonjudgmental and to allow him/her to come to you with anything that happens at school.  Ask questions that can lead your child to open up.  Introducing these questions in the third person makes them less personal and may allow your child to feel better equipped to discuss them.

• When a boy wants to be mean, what does he do?
• When a girl wants to be mean, what does she do?
• Does the teacher notice?  What does she do?
• Do people ever start rumors?
• Can friends be mean to each other?  How?

Bullying can have a devastating effect on a child's self-esteem, social skills and ability to trust others.  Here are some ways to counteract this negativity:

• Encourage your child to join groups/clubs/teams inside and outside of school.  Make sure that these are places where contributions are valued and where other members are disconnected from the bullying she experiences in the classroom.  Get your child a membership at a local YMCA, bring her to masjid activities, help her choose a hobby and connect with others with the same interest.  This will give your child a support system and help her to understand that the bullying has nothing to do with her since she will see that others accept her just as she is.

• Get therapy for your child if you notice she is becoming overwhelmed with what is happening.  This can be an excellent measure to prevent the issues from escalating into depression or an anxiety disorder.

• Speak to the school counselor or teacher after consulting with your child.  Please make sure that this is a step that she wants to take.  Be sure to stay calm when discussing the situation with them; it means a lot to your child to see that you are being a strong, firm advocate for them and that you are not overwhelmed.

A United Methodist pastor in rural Tennessee, named Brad Smith, said something beautiful: “God of all people, all shapes and all sizes, all races and all nationalities, all orientations and identities, and all abilities, I pray for all those who will struggle this year as victims of bullying. I pray for those who will be teased relentlessly verbally and online. I pray for those who will be physically assaulted because they are different. I pray for those who have to change in the locker room. I pray for those who think they are alone. They are not. I pray for those who think hope is gone. It is not. I pray for those who think suicide is the only escape. It gets better. I pray for the parents of the bullied who feel helpless to protect their child. God help them. Strengthen them. Show them your love. Let them feel your hope.  Not only this, but I also pray for those who engage in bullying. I pray for those whose self-worth and self-esteem seems tied to making others hurt. I pray for the parents of bullies who ignore the signs and think their child could never do this. I pray for the teachers who stand up for kids and for the teachers who ignore the problem. I pray for those who think this is just a rite of passage. It is not. I pray that not one child this year decides that suicide is the answer. I pray for those who succumbed to hopelessness. I pray that we can all learn from the mistakes and tragedies of the past and that we can protect our children and let every child know they are of great worth.”

Ameen.

As someone who had no younger sibling; who never in her life babysat any little children for even an hour; who has more than the average penchant for personal privacy, solitude and demarcated boundaries of living space, I often find myself at the receiving end of the following question:

How can you have your children (now numbering three, masha'Allah) around at home all day without going crazy?

I was at some point along the first-time parenting journey myself such a skeptic who would have asked any other homeschooling mother exactly the same question! What's more, I would have privately questioned her sanity or marveled at her – what was for me – an almost superhuman level of patience and forbearance.

However, this post is not about homeschooling per se, perchance I alienate those conscientious parents who are striving to bring up their children well but choose to send them to school, lest they stop reading ahead with a dismissive eye roll.

In this post I want to talk about how, as a parent, something inside me regarding my inner views about parenting changed along the way, and today I want to talk about just that (i.e. what changed).

Answer: My own mindset – the way I chose to perceive the presence of my children around me for most part of the day – tantrums, bawls, dirty diapers, runny noses, incessant interruptions, and unwelcome preemption, et al.

I was once a snap-happy, cranky, short-tempered, prone-to-scream-at-the-drop-of-a-hat mother; at least I hope that now, I am less of that, as compared to when I had just one toddler and blew a fuse as soon as she climbed up on a chair and toppled a bowl of hot milk or tea on the dining table as soon as I turned my back.

Fact is, it was analysis of the words of Allah in the Quran, and incidents in the seerah of His Prophet [صلى الله عليه و سلم] that made me change the way I thought. There are a few historic events narrated in the Quran that highlight how someone young, a child or a teenager at the most, helped an adult in his or her work, quest or journey.

Consequently, now when I look at my children and realize that they are just that – little human beings pre-programmed by Allah to act and react a certain way to environmental stimuli because of the age they are at – I cringe and seek forgiveness from Allah for my past skewed perception of them as a new parent.

The sister of Prophet Musa helping her mother get him back

A young mother-daughter duo worked as a team once to deal with the separation of a new baby boy. Yes, I find it endearing to read in the Quran, how the older sister of Prophet Musa [عليه السلام] helped her mother fend off anxiety and sorrow after the latter submitted to Allah's command and put her infant son afloat in a river inside a chest:

إِذْ أَوْحَيْنَا إِلَى أُمِّكَ مَا يُوحَى

“Recall (when) We inspired in your mother that which is inspired,” [20:38]

وَأَوْحَيْنَا إِلَى أُمِّ مُوسَى أَنْ أَرْضِعِيهِ فَإِذَا خِفْتِ عَلَيْهِ فَأَلْقِيهِ فِي الْيَمِّ وَلَا تَخَافِي وَلَا تَحْزَنِي إِنَّا رَادُّوهُ إِلَيْكِ وَجَاعِلُوهُ مِنَ الْمُرْسَلِينَ

“And We inspired the mother of Moses, saying: Suckle him and, when you fear for him, then cast him into the river and fear not nor grieve. Lo! We shall bring him back unto you and shall make him (one) of Our messengers.” [28:7]

Anyone who has a baby (and even those who don't) can perhaps only imagine the pain Prophet Musa's mother must have felt upon being separated from her infant boy; how she must have summoned up enough fortitude and trust in Allah to cast her baby into a chest along a flowing river! Yet, she did it.

After her infant vanished from her sight, and her heart became empty, her “apprentice” came to her aid:

إِذْ تَمْشِي أُخْتُكَ فَتَقُولُ هَلْ أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى مَن يَكْفُلُهُ فَرَجَعْنَاكَ إِلَى أُمِّكَ كَيْ تَقَرَّ عَيْنُهَا وَلَا تَحْزَنَ وَقَتَلْتَ نَفْسًا فَنَجَّيْنَاكَ مِنَ الْغَمِّ وَفَتَنَّاكَ فُتُونًا فَلَبِثْتَ سِنِينَ فِي أَهْلِ مَدْيَنَ ثُمَّ جِئْتَ عَلَى قَدَرٍ يَا مُوسَى

“Behold! Your sister went forth and said, 'Shall I show you one who will nurse and rear the (child)?' So We brought you back to your mother, that her eye might be cooled and she should not grieve…..” [20:40]

Why did the sister step in to help? I think that perhaps if the mother had herself followed the chest containing the infant down the river, it would have roused onlookers' suspicion that the infant belonged to her i.e. it was her own son. Further, since the Israelites were killing the male babies that year, the baby might have gotten killed as a result.

In order to be discreet in the pursuit of the baby, and also perhaps because a young girl child can perhaps run faster without garnering others' attention to herself in public than a mother whose heart is torn with sorrow, the older sister of the infant not only kept the floating chest in sight but also played a key role in Allah's plan of returning Prophet Musa to her mother without being killed that year:

According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir: “Then, his sister came and said, هَلْ أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتٍ يَكْفُلُونَهُ لَكُمْ وَهُمْ لَهُ نَـصِحُونَ – “Shall I direct you to a household who will rear him for you, and look after him in a good manner?”. She meant, “Shall I guide you to someone who can nurse him for you for a fee?” So she took him and they went with her to his real mother. When her breast was presented to him, he took it and they (Firaun's family) were extremely happy for this. Thus, they hired her to nurse him and she achieved great happiness and comfort because of him, in this life and even more so in the Hereafter.”

By pondering on this incident in the Quran, I realized that Allah has used even young children to establish His decree on earth and used their “services” to carry out his Divine plans.

Could it be that children are smarter and more capable of handling responsibilities than we think?

The young lad traveling with Prophet Musa to seek knowledge

In Surah Al-Kahf, Allah describes how Prophet Musa [عليه السلام] firmly resolved to go on traveling until he could meet and attain knowledge from Khidr. Interestingly, he had a young lad with him throughout his journey, who was called Yusha Bin Nun, and their closeness and mutual companionship is evident from the way they talk about matters:

وَإِذْ قَالَ مُوسَى لِفَتَاهُ لَا أَبْرَحُ حَتَّى أَبْلُغَ مَجْمَعَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ أَوْ أَمْضِيَ حُقُبًا

“Behold, Moses said to his attendant, “I will not give up until I reach the junction of the two seas or (until) I spend years and years in travel.” [18:60]

The Arabic word used for the young lad is “فَتًى”, which means a youth in the prime of life (Lane). This implies a boy who is a tween or in his early teens.

At one point in their journey in the quest for knowledge, this young boy – the apprentice – played a key role in informing Prophet Musa [عليه السلام], when the latter asked him to bring him his food, about how their fish had escaped from them and taken a route in the sea, and how Shaitan had made him forget to inform him before about this:

قَالَ أَرَأَيْتَ إِذْ أَوَيْنَا إِلَى الصَّخْرَةِ فَإِنِّي نَسِيتُ الْحُوتَ وَمَا أَنسَانِيهُ إِلَّا الشَّيْطَانُ أَنْ أَذْكُرَهُ وَاتَّخَذَ سَبِيلَهُ فِي الْبَحْرِ عَجَبًا

“Did you see (what happened) when we betook ourselves to the rock? I did indeed forget (about) the Fish: none but Satan made me forget to tell (you) about it: it took its course through the sea in a marvellous way!” [18:63]

The escape of the salted dead fish into the water after coming back to life, was actually meant to be a signal from Allah that they had reached the place where they would find Khidr (Tafsir Ibn Kathir). When the lad told him this, Prophet Musa replied: “This is that which we have been seeking!” and then they both retraced their steps to that point in order to finally find and meet Khidr.

This incident brings to light quite a few things about adults dealing with youths:

1. Adults should delegate responsibility to young people (tweens, teens, or even younger) and allow them to help them in their daily tasks, especially during strenuous journeys.
2. We should take our children along on quests for knowledge of Deen.
3. It really is okay for children to hang out with adults, contrary to the contemporary trend of pressuring children as young as two to “socialize” mostly with same-age peers and friends.
4. Adults should have a frank and friendly relationship with younger people, especially their own children, students or helpers. Such an open and friendly relationship can make both benefit from apprenticeship. It was this easygoing openness that allowed Prophet Musa's attendant to openly tell him about the escape of the fish, and admit that it was Shaitan that had made him forget to tell him. Note how he doesn't lie nor give flimsy excuses, but comes clean and speaks up honestly.
5. Adults should forgive and overlook the mistakes and errors of youths, as did Prophet Musa.
6. One of the biggest advantages of being old(er) is that younger ones can serve you! E.g. Bringing you your food when you are tired. ;)

Prophet Ismail helping his father build the Ka'bah

Another interesting and historically poignant event narrated in the Quran involves a father-son duo doing what many father-son pairs would love doing in any era: a construction or building project. Only, the building they were putting together was no ordinary one:

وَعَهِدْنَا إِلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْمَاعِيلَ أَن طَهِّرَا بَيْتِيَ لِلطَّائِفِينَ وَالْعَاكِفِينَ وَالرُّكَّعِ السُّجُودِ

“..And We imposed a duty upon Ibrahim and Ismael, (saying): Purify My house for those who go around and those who meditate therein and those who bow down and prostrate themselves (in worship).” [2:125]

وَإِذْ يَرْفَعُ إِبْرَاهِيمُ الْقَوَاعِدَ مِنَ الْبَيْتِ وَإِسْمَاعِيلُ رَبَّنَا تَقَبَّلْ مِنَّا إِنَّكَ أَنتَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

“And when Ibrahim and Ismael were raising the foundations of the House, (Abraham prayed): Our Lord! Accept from us (this duty). Lo! You, only You, are the Hearer, the Knower.” [2:127]

We already know that Prophet Ibrahim was quite old when two sons, first Ismail and then Ishaq, were born to him. This indicates the considerable age difference between Prophet Ibrahim and Prophet Ismail when they were instructed by Allah to not just construct the holy Ka'bah, but to also purify it from the filth of idols and other physical and sexual impurities (Tafsir Ibn Kathir).

Once again, the Quran encourages us parents, albeit indirectly, to employ the aid, help and companionship of our children, even when the latter are young (barely out of childhood) in all our endeavors, but in particular, in those of our efforts, activities, toils and quests that are aimed at seeking the pleasure of Allah and upholding or propagating the Deen of Islam (monotheism).

In the above verses, it is obvious that not only did the young son help his elderly father physically build the Ka'bah, but he also helped him purify it, then engaged along with him in earnest supplication to Allah that He accept their efforts.

Contrast that to how some modern-day parents are themselves extremely active in propagating knowledge of Deen and doing Da'wah, yet their children are always in others' company, be it nannies when they are younger, or secular-minded (or even atheist) friends when they are older.

I have personally attended religious talks in homes where the youngsters are never in attendance as their mother or father discusses/teaches the Quran to others. They are either watching television, out socializing with friends, or shut up in their rooms studying for exams.

It is a bit alarming to witness some Muslim families in which the parents are righteous and obey the tenets of Islam, and on top of that, they have been doing active teaching of the Quran and sunnah since their children were minors, yet as these children of theirs grow up, they seem to disregard obedience to even the obligatory rules and commands of Islam, such as praying all the five daily salah's or observing hijab at the mandated time.

As the years pass, a clear diversion is seen in the lifestyle and religiosity of the children of some da'ee's and religious teachers, from the path of righteousness that their parents have adopted for themselves, so much so that, as the parents go off for recurring umrah, hajj, and Islamic da'wah retreats, the young children stay back at home, going out on dates or to drinking parties with their romantic partners and other friends. Are you surprised? It is more common than we acknowledge.

The Quran should make us modern-day parents who think that religion is a personal matter and a “choice” that their little children should make on their own once they reach the age of maturity, wake up and smell the coffee: we should take our children along with ourselves on the journey towards Allah as soon as we can, since they are little (even babies), and try not to leave them with human or digital babysitters to “come towards religion on their own”, when they get older.

In answer to the question…

I have alhamdulillah come a long, long way since my perception of my children as noise-creators, troublemakers, clutter-generators and stress-inducers who need to be run after and coerced to behave properly.

Now I see them as my young “apprentices” in the path of Deen, albeit ones who need a stern eye and a reprimand here and there when they, acting upon their natural human instincts, act naughtily or behave mischievously.

I find myself enamored by their honesty (they are frank and upfront to the point of being totally blunt), intrigued by their relentless spontaneity, and in complete admiration of their positivity and lack of grudges and enmity for others.

I now love having these wonderful beings in my life 24/7, because contrary to what it appears to be like, I am learning immensely from them. For the first time in my life, I am spending days and nights in the company of human beings who have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, an incessant curiosity about the world around them; an insatiable ability to ask questions until they get satisfactory answers, and a refreshingly tireless interest in others, especially in their Lord, Allah, and in the reality about the life of this world.

As little hands help me pick up the crumbs from the carpet, fold the laundry, wipe the counter and even massage my forehead when I am tired, I sorely regret and seek forgiveness for ever considering these “apprentices” to be the cause of unwelcome interruptions and “disturbances” in my so-called hitherto peaceful and methodical life, and thank Allah with the bottom of my heart for giving me little helpers in the path of His Deen, who will hopefully always be my side as we tread along it to reach the final, coveted destination: Allah's pleasure in the Hereafter.

They said “Hello, I am: Autism Aware” and in order to earn one, you had to be naïve enough to be disarmed by my cheesy grin and then ambushed with “So, what do you know about autism!”

Then, if you were patient enough to nod through my five minute presentation/tirade on what autism is, why early recognition is important, and how to recognize it in a child as young as two (Poor eye contact, less than six words, lack of social interaction) and if you nodded at all the right bits and laughed at my attempts at funny bits, you got a sticker.  Whether you wanted one or not.

(When a child isn't talking by a certain age and the parents get worried, people typically say: Give him time! My friend knew this guy who had an uncle who didn't talk until he was six, and now he's a ninja-neuroscientist-pastry chef-professor!  *rimshot* But actually, any child who isn't talking by the age of two should have autism ruled out before any more time is allowed to pass.)

It was cool actually, people would come to the autism awareness stall because they had seen someone else wearing a “Hello, I am: Autism Aware” sticker and they sought us out because:

A)      They wanted a sticker too -or-

B)      They didn't know was autism was but they wanted to find out -or-

C)      They knew very well what autism was and wanted to compare notes

I met school kids who giggled and slapped stickers on each other, parents whose children were in other centers, teachers who were sure they had undiagnosed cases in their own classes, doctors who were not sure who to refer children to, and lots and lots of young mothers who I accosted with a flier that had some warning signs of autism divided by age from 18 months to four years.

I also met:

•  Dr. Zakir Naik, briefly, surrounded by his entourage, as he made the rounds of all the stalls at the convention.  He politely listened to my autism awareness tirade before the entourage juggernaut rolled onward to the next stall.  He seemed like a nice man, MashaAllah.
• The mother of a nice young volunteer, who came to the stall out of politeness and left somberly with a “Signs of Autism” checklist in her hands with way too many underlined to take to her own non-verbal, hand-flapping, head-banging nephew.

•  A man who, when cheerfully ambushed with my typical “So, what do you know about autism!” replied with a slow blink, some agonizing moments, and the shaky reply of “I know that it destroys your life.”  He turned out to be an autism parent.

•  A little boy with Asperger's syndrome and his mother.  He didn't say a single word, and he stood reading a book the entire time his mother and I chatted, but he did look up and laugh at my one ninja-neuroscientist-pastry chef-professor joke before re-immersing himself in his book.

•  A father who was just passing by when he saw the word autism and stopped because he had just been told the day before by a concerned friend that his son might have autism.  He got the 'Where to get help' flier.

My duty at the Dubai International Peace Convention was four hours on Thursday and then nine hours on Friday and twelve hours on Saturday.  It was emotionally intense, not just because I had to talk non-stop, but because I met so many people with terrible fears that were completely founded.  SubhanAllahiWabihamdihi- my son has progressed to the point where we have hopes for him being able to get through primary school, InshaAllah.  Most other parents get the door slammed in their face right from KG and it is never opened to them again, and here I was telling them: There is hope!  But not for you, because your son is ten now! And hope has a waiting list! And based on the misery in your eyes, you couldn't afford it anyway!

Allah u Akbar.  A person who never speaks won't be held accountable for lies, but it is agony for the parents every single day.  Their child will never go to school, they will grow into an adult who cannot provide for their own needs- forget having a job- will they ever be able to dress themselves?

Let that question mark hang there for a moment, and imagine an old widow trying to care for an adult male who communicates by hitting, punching, and breaking- who collapses at home one day and no ambulance is called because her adult son can't speak let alone use a phone.

When is she discovered? In what state will her son be at that time?  Who among her relatives will take care of an adult male who cannot bathe himself?  What institution will care for him? If he runs out of the house, confused by the noise and the ambulance and the strangers, who will chase him down and bring him back home to safety?   If he fights the well-meaning strangers trying to take him home, how many of them will stay calm and keep trying after the first time they're hit in the face or bitten in his panic?  A better question to ask might be: what color car will hit him first?

These are the questions I ask myself when I meet other families with autism, and the only light in the darkness of that scenario is that Allah knows best.

He does.  Allah knows best.  And we suffer in this life so that we can be rewarded in the next, but never beyond  what we are able to cope with.  Allah will care for the grown man with autism, and nothing will happen to him that Allah has not willed and has not deemed to be good for his status in the Akhirah.  I was asked, by one woman at the conference, how I could even think of having other children (I have three) after my first child was discovered to have autism.  I told her that it must be good for him- maybe if my son didn't have autism he would have been a thief, a rapist, or a murderer.  Or worse- he could have been a very successful and handsome intellectual sort of young man who fell in love with the dunya and left Islam to become one of its enemies because it was easier and more glamorous than being one of its defenders.  There are worse things than being autistic- getting your account in your left hand on the Day of Judgment is definitely one of them.

My son was kicking the wall last night at 10:30 pm.  I went into his room and asked him if everything was alright.  He sat up in bed and said, in his funny robotic way:

“I have – a –secret – Idea.”

I smiled in the dark.  My son is verbal, Alhamdulillah, and after years of wondering what he was thinking when he sat staring into space for hours, I sometimes get to find out.

“You have a secret idea? Really? What is it?

“I'm thinking- what is charity? Is it an idea?”

Two days ago, one of his ABA therapists was helping him with a worksheet in which he was supposed to sort a pile of nouns into categories- people, things, and ideas.  A fireman is a person, a car is a thing, a discovery is an idea.  Charity was not in that list.

“Yes, charity is when we give things to other people to make Allah happy with us. It's something we do, but it's not a person or a thing. It's an idea.”

“Ok.”

“Good night Khalid.”

“Ok.”

He dives back onto his pillow and I can hear him kicking the wall again later, but I know he's awake because he's busy sorting nouns in his head.  On some nights I go into his room hours after he's “gone to bed” because I can hear him talking to himself, and he's reciting Dubai street names and road numbers. (Two seconds ago: “Baniyas road. Baniyas. Baniyas road.”) I went into his room one night at 11 pm and asked him if he was feeling alright because I could hear him flipping around in bed.

“Khalid, do you need help?”

“Yes, where's TECOM?”

“Near Barsha. After Mall of the Emirates. Before Knowledge Village I think. Good night.”

“Ok.”

He's asleep right now, and in our little home, all is the right with the world.  Throughout Dubai, and the UAE, and the rest of the world where one in eighty-eight children are diagnosed with the nearly crippling developmental delay of autism all is still right with the world. 

For Muslim parents, autism is the opportunity to have the false pretenses of societal expectations and wealth and family pride and superiority forcibly stripped away from the core responsibilities of what it means to be both Muslim and parent.  You don't need to worry about keeping up with the Joneses- they stopped inviting you over after that meltdown one time and don't call anymore once they found out your son had special needs.  Trust in Allah and take care of your child.  His disability is a gift, because accountability is harsh.  Worry more for yourself than for him and whether you are able to justice to your child without growing to hate what his label stands for, and have faith- really- in Allah's plan without allowing Shaytan to plant the seed of bitterness in your heart with what Allah has willed for you.

May Allah have mercy on us all, and give us the patience and Taqwa to see even our disabilities as opportunities for Jannah.

Please speak with a specialist immediately if your child:

By 18 months:

•  Doesn't point to show things to others
•  Can't walk
•  Doesn't know what familiar things are for
•  Doesn't copy others
•  Doesn't gain new words
•  Doesn't have at least 6 words
•  Doesn't notice or mind when a caregiver leaves or returns

By 2 years:

•  Doesn't use 2-word phrases (for example, “drink milk”)
•  Doesn't know what to do with common things, like a brush, phone, fork, spoon
•  Doesn't copy actions and words
•  Doesn't follow simple instructions
•  Doesn't walk steadily
•  Loses skills she once had

By 3 years:

•  Can't work simple toys (such as peg boards, simple puzzles, turning handle)
•  Doesn't speak in sentences
•  Doesn't understand simple instructions
•  Doesn't play pretend or make-believe
•  Doesn't want to play with other children or with toys
•  Avoids or doesn't make eye contact
•  Loses skills he once had

By 4 years:

•  Has trouble scribbling
•  Shows no interest in interactive games or make-believe
•  Ignores other children or doesn't respond to people outside the family
•  Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet
•  Can't retell a favorite story
•  Doesn't follow 3-part commands
•  Doesn't understand “same” and “different”
•  Doesn't use “me” and “you” correctly
•  Speaks unclearly
•  Loses skills he once had

The signs of autism- excerpted from The Mayo Clinic website:

Some children show signs of autism in early infancy. Other children may develop normally for the first few months or years of life but then suddenly become withdrawn, become aggressive or lose language skills they've already acquired. Though each child with autism is likely to have a unique pattern of behavior, these are some common autism symptoms:

Social skills

• Fails to respond to his or her name
• Has poor eye contact
• Appears not to hear you at times
• Resists cuddling and holding
• Appears unaware of others' feelings
• Seems to prefer playing alone — retreats into his or her “own world”

Language

• Starts talking later than age 2, and has other developmental delays by 30 months
• Loses previously acquired ability to say words or sentences
• Doesn't make eye contact when making requests
• Speaks with an abnormal tone or rhythm — may use a singsong voice or robot-like speech
• Can't start a conversation or keep one going
• May repeat words or phrases verbatim, but doesn't understand how to use them

Behavior

• Performs repetitive movements, such as rocking, spinning or hand-flapping
• Develops specific routines or rituals
• Becomes disturbed at the slightest change in routines or rituals
• Moves constantly
• May be fascinated by parts of an object, such as the spinning wheels of a toy car
• May be unusually sensitive to light, sound and touch and yet oblivious to pain

After recently attending the Pure Paisa: Fiqh of Money & Transactions seminar at Qabeelat Durbah, I imparted some ideas about minimizing/eliminating interest in financing one's education with the volunteers.  Alḥamdulillāh, some people found it to be beneficial, so I am sharing it here on MuslimMatters, where I hope it will benefit others and serve as an impetus for further discussion.

Getting an interest-free education has always been and continues to be challenging, especially in light of increasing tuition costs.  I just wanted to take a moment to share some of my thoughts that may help you (or your friends/children) get a quality education without compromising your values. And even if one feels interest is a necessity in getting an education, one can still make an effort to minimize it along with the overall costs of education.

My thoughts come from knowing a few people who have completed undergraduate studies and medical/dental school without dealing with interest, walhamdulillah.

I should also point out that I'm unable to provide a one-stop surefire solution (because currently there is none as far as I know), but rather just a few meager thoughts that might help.  And by no means is anything guaranteed or easy; to the contrary I think being able to finance graduate studies without interest is the rare exception (and an immense blessing), rather than the rule.  Undergraduate studies may be easier due to lower costs and greater availability of scholarships and financial aid.

PREPARE THE SOIL & PLANT THE SEEDS

Intention

Intention is emphasized in everything we do, and pursuing an education is no different.  If one is absolutely committed to staying interest-free, then I think it's paramount for the person to make an intention along the lines of: “If I can't get this education interest-free, then I will delay it/won't do it.”  I believe such an intention (if serious & sincere; not just lip service) will bring Divine Help for the person.

Du'ā'

Ask the only One Who Can Help You; the only One Who is Capable of all things; the only One Who Knows what is best for you.

Integrity

With Allāh: A person may say “I want to enter such and such a profession so that I can earn money, and give it in charity to help others.”  Put your money where your mouth is from the get go.  If you are not charitable now (however little it may be), then how can you be entrusted to give in the future?

With People:  People aren't looking to lend money, especially large sums, to people who aren't reliable: reliable enough to pay them back, as well as reliable enough to successfully complete their education and obtain quality employment.

Excel in School

Since many scholarships are based wholly or partially upon academic merit, if you don't have the grades, then you may be severely limiting potential sources of funding.  If you plan ahead, then you'll appreciate the need to excel academically as early as high school and can hopefully lock in scholarships for your entire undergraduate education.  If you're already in college and haven't received any scholarships thus far, then you can still do well now and apply for scholarships going forward since many scholarships are offered on a per-semester basis.

Community Service & Extracurricular Activities

In addition to academic performance, many scholarships take your contributions outside the classroom into consideration.  Some organizations you can volunteer with offer their own scholarships. Furthermore, a friend or member of the community is more apt to help out someone who is a contributor to society.

Be Realistic

Realize that staying interest-free isn't going to be easy and you may have to sacrifice some things.  For example, living in an apartment at an expensive out-of-state school might not be the most reasonable expectation (see “Living at Home” below)

START FARMING

Interest-Free Loans

Family & Friends: This is going to be a key (I'm inclined to say necessary) resource.  Hopefully someone you know has been blessed with surplus wealth, and is willing to help you out.  Ideally, you know someone who has wealth and holds the same beliefs as you.  The limitation is that many practicing people think that interest for educational loans is not a problem.  To find someone willing to help you avoid interest for school will be like finding a needle in a haystack.  Don't lose hope completely because the opportunity arises when someone who may not have an issue with interest personally, but respects you as a person and is willing to help you so that you don't have to compromise your values.  Or you might have someone who is involved with interest, but is regretful about it, and they may see it as an opportunity to attain the Mercy of Allāh 

(“I have my shortcomings & regret them, so perhaps if I protect someone from interest, then hopefully Allāh will Protect me”).

For example, I know someone who was able to borrow $50,000 and another person was able to borrow $60,000 over the course of 4 years.

Organizations: There are a couple of charitable organizations that provide interest-free loans for undergraduate & graduates studies.  You can search for them on the internet, and apply.  Using this technique, someone I know received $50,000 over 4 years.

Scholarships

There are several scholarships that come in all different shapes and sizes based on field of study, financial need, ethnicity, academic merit, extracurricular involvement, etc.  Most will require effort in terms of applications and essays, but remember that if you're serious about avoiding interest, you'll need to put in the effort.  The great thing about scholarships is that you don't need to pay them back.  I know someone who got about $45,000 over 4 years for graduate studies, and several others who had 60-100% of their undergraduate tuition covered.

How to find scholarships

1. There are numerous books and websites which you can look up
2. Ask your parents to find out if their employer offers scholarships because many companies do
3. Find out if your town/county/state offers scholarships for your field of study, academic merit, or volunteer work
4. Check with local organizations (ie. Rotary Clubs) for scholarships
5. And of course, check with your school for what scholarships they have that you may potentially qualify for.  If you're a double-major, check with both departments for scholarships that may be uniquely offered for each major

Mountains are made of pebbles

While a scholarship for $500 or $2,000 may not seem like a lot compared to the total tuition, realize that receiving a few of these can add up quickly.  Additionally, you will probably incur other expenses such a books, and equipment, so any amount of money you can get counts.

Buy used books (unless absolutely impossible).  Email your professor before the class begins and find out what books are required; then search for used copies on campus or on the internet.  Also find out if an older edition of the book will suffice.  There is no need to pay out the nose to have a brand-new copy of the latest edition from the school bookstore if you don't have to. Thus far, I think overall I've either broken even or made a profit on textbooks.

OTHER PRACTICAL TIPS

Live at Home

Attending an in-state public institution usually offers significant savings on tuition.  Combine that with a school that is within commuting distance (save on rent, utilities, food), and now you're talking major cost reductions.

Work During School

Depending on the difficulty and quantity of your coursework, a part-time job can be a very realistic option for many.  Sure it'll reduce the amount of time you can spend hanging out in the MSA lobby, but it'll be a worthwhile sacrifice.

Evaluate the importance of your undergraduate program

Especially if you're planning on pursuing graduate education.

For someone planning on attending medical school, my humble personal opinion is that going to a solid state school (ie. the equivalent of Rutgers in NJ) is an excellent choice.  I don't think going to a brand-name, private school adds much to your medical career because what is most important in the long-run is the quality of your residency and fellowship training (which depend upon your performance and activities in medical school) as well as other factors not related to where you received your undergraduate education.

Furthermore, getting into medical school isn't so much about where you went for college, as it is how well you did there.  There are plenty of people who went to an expensive college ($40-50k/year), but didn't do well enough to get into a US medical  school, so ended up going to an outside medical school (which is increasingly a major limiting factor for future career options).  And even if someone from an expensive undergraduate institution does stay in the US for medical school, chances are they will be in the same school as you, taking the same classes and tests.  So now it's a level playing field and your future opportunities depend on your performance in medical school. The only difference is that they already have pre-existing loans of $200,000.

I am not diminishing the prestige or intangible benefits of attending an elite undergraduate institution; I am simply offering a practical suggestion to minimize costs of education which I believe in general does not detract from your future success in the grand scheme of things for a career in medicine. 

Additionally, if you apply from high school, some state institutions have combined undergraduate-MD programs with local medical schools.

For those who may be pursuing a career in another field (ie. business), then it is possible that your undergraduate education may hold more weight because that will be your highest level of training when you apply for jobs (versus medicine where you have residency and fellowship beyond medical school, let alone undergrad).  Even within the business field, this may vary depending on the specific field (ie. finance, accounting).

I have a friend who went to a state undergraduate institution and now works in a highly sought after position for top-notch financial firm.  He told me that while he was able to “make it,” he had to put in much greater effort (working for practically free at times) to work his way up, in contrast to someone who came from a school with a better reputation in his field.

I have other friends who went to state schools for accounting and are now working for “big four” firms.  They said these firms have internships and a history of hiring graduates of these schools so they were confident they would do well.

Utilizing Subsidized Loans

A subsidized loan is one for which you are not charged interest while you are in school.

In most cases, it is highly unlikely that someone will be able to earn enough while attending school full-time to pay off a subsidized loan to avoid the interest (unless you borrow a small amounts and/or will be earning a high salary).

Strategy 1 Use the subsidized loan to give you & your interest-free lenders (ie. friend) some buffer time.  For example, if you start school in the year 2000, will graduate in 2004 and expect that it will take 5 years to be able to earn enough to pay back the loan (ie. by 2009):

A) You can borrow the $ from a friend in 2000 and have them wait until 2009 to get all of their money back.  In this case, your friend's money is locked up for 9 years (2000-2009)

B) You take a subsidized loan in 2000, then in 2004 you borrow money  from a friend to pay off the subsidized loan within 6 months of graduating.  Then you pay back the friend by 2009.  In this case, your friend's money is locked up for 5 years (2004-2009); this strategy reduces the time your friend's money is locked up.  The caveat is that you must be absolutely certain that you have a friend who will loan you the money when you graduate so you can pay off the subsidized loan; or else you will be unable to pay off the loan and will have to pay the interest.

Strategy 2 One brother mentioned that he went to school part-time and worked at the same time.  Therefore, although he took 1.5 years longer to finish school, he was able to: A) Earn and save up money while going to school   B) Delay his graduation so that he had more time until his subsidized loans became due.  So when he did graduate, he had enough money to pay off the subsidized loan and avoid interest.

Unfortunately beginning July 2012, the government is no longer offering the $8,500/year in subsidized loans to graduate students, but  I believe undergraduate will still be eligible. Confirm with FAFSA at the time you apply because policies are often changing.

Loan Repayment for Working on Under-served Areas

There are programs in medicine/dentistry/nursing where if you commit to doing primary care and working in under-served areas, the government will pay all or part of your loans. (http://www.hrsa.gov/loanscholarships/index.html). The downside is that you limit your career options (ie. primary care only), and you must work/live in a potentially undesirable location. However, if you want to do primary care and are regionally flexible, then this might be an option to consider.  I'd recommend talking to someone who has participated in these programs to get an idea of what it's like and what are the limitations, etc. There might be similar programs for other professionals (ie. lawyers) who commit to work in the public sector.

Job or Internship Tuition-Reimbursement

When considering potential job or internship opportunities, check if the company offers a tuition-reimbursement program.  Many companies will wholly or partially reimburse you for further education, often with the stipulation that you commit to work for them for a certain number of years.  I know a few people who have taken advantage of such programs for graduate business school. I also know two brothers who work for a college full-time (one in business, another as a police officer), and their graduate tuition (MPH, MBA) is free of charge. (Any full-time employee at this school is entitled to free education for their entire family; that is a pretty sweet deal!)

Take a Year “Off”, Save Up Money

“Off” doesn't mean sitting at home watching TV or perpetually vacationing; rather what I'm referring to is taking time away from full-time school so that you can work in a setting that will improve your financial situation while simultaneously maintaining or even enhancing your qualifications for your ultimate career plans.

The part in italics is important because in the future you will be asked about what you did in your time away from school.  You want to be able to provide an answer that demonstrates that the time away was an asset for you and your career.  Hence the reason why spending a year watching TV probably isn't a good idea (aside from the fact that you're probably not saving up any money watching TV).

If you're planning on a career in medicine, consider taking a year or two “off” in between undergrad and medical school so you can work and save up a decent chunk of change.  $30,000 in savings will give you a nice cushion to help pay for tuition or other expenses when your other sources of funding (ie. friends) fall short.  Don't worry about “getting too old,” especially if you haven't had any gaps in your education thus far.  When you start medical school you'll find that a good portion of people in your class are older than you because they're coming from another career, took time to do research or for personal reasons.  If you're planning for a career in business, many graduate programs might actually prefer that you have work experience before getting further education because you will be better prepared to appreciate the real-world applicability of what you learn in the classroom.  You can utilize this opportunity take advantage of tuition-reimbursement  programs your employer may offer.

This was just a brief outline of some of my thoughts; by no means was this intended to be a comprehensive guide to financing your education or choosing your career.  I hope that this article will encourage others to share their thoughts and experiences in the comments, so that we can learn different ideas from each other. You may have already known some of what was said, but I hope that hearing about people who have utilized these resources to earn significant sums in scholarships and interest-free loans, and go as far as completing medical school without paying interest will inspire you to put in the effort and seek out similar fruits (despite the tediousness of filling out application forms, writing essays, and the discomfort of having to ask people to borrow money).  Perhaps you can use this outline as a checklist to go through and see if you've exhausted all possible resources. And I recognize that with increasing tuition rates, avoiding interest for even basic education has become very challenging, and unfortunately there isn't any one, great solution that I'm aware of.  So we put forth our best effort, and leave the rest to the Mercy of Allāh, as He [SWT] is Aware of our individual needs and situations.

Disclaimer: Please consult a religious scholar, career counselor, and financial expert before considering any of the above ideas.  I am not liable in this world or in the Hereafter for any actions you do or do not take based upon the above thoughts.

by Anonymous



To Allāh belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things. [Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49-50]
 


It is the way how this Dunya rolls and it is the way how Allāh SWT has designed this Dunya to be. You may have something that other people have. And you may not have something that other people do not have.

Single people want to get married (and fast) because they think that's the only part of their religion that's deficient. Married people want to have children (and fast) because they think the only way they could truly be happy (and successful) is by having children. People with children want them to have the best of everything in this Dunya.

People with the best God-fearing children fear that their children would end up as failures in Dunya. And people with not-so-God-fearing children fear for their kids in the Ākhirah aspect. Married people want their freedom. Free single people want to be tied down in a commitment.

So the issue here is that we have to accept that regardless of what we want in this Dunya and regardless of whether or not we get it, we're still going to want more. And more. And so much more.

I've got proof:

On the authority of Anas b. Mālik, may Allāh be pleased with him, who narrated that Allāh's Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If the son of Ādam had a valley full of gold, he would love to have two valleys, for nothing fills his mouth except dust. And Allāh forgives him who repents.” [Sahih Bukhāri, Volume 8 Book 76 Number 447]

I mean it's alright to want all those things because that's how Allāh SWT created us.

It's perfectly normal.

'Beautified for mankind is love of the joys (that come) from women and offspring; and stored-up heaps of gold and silver, and horses branded (with their mark), and cattle and land. That is comfort of the life of the world. Allāh! With Him is a more excellent abode.' [Surah Āle-'Imrān, 3:14].



But being focused on those things only in this world is not a healthy way to live in this Dunya. Your camera of life should not be zoomed onto this Dunya. A true Muslimah has foresight. She can see farther than that. Her eyes should be on something much better than all the pleasures of this Dunya. Allāh SWT continues the above verse:

'Say: Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keep from evil, with their Lord, are Gardens underneath which rivers flow wherein they will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from Allāh. Allāh is Seer of His bondmen, Those who say: “Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire.” (They are) those who are patient, those who are true (in Faith, words, and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allâh. Those who spend [give the Zakât and alms in the Way of Allâh] and those who pray and beg Allâh's Pardon in the last hours of the night. [Surah Āle-'Imrān, 3:15-17]



Allāh SWT promises you a kind of happiness that does not end. A promise of a Garden, your home inshaa'Allāh, for which you don't have to pay any bills. A husband or a companion who's physically and spiritually devoid of anything negative and unpleasing. And Allāh SWT's Pleasure! Imagine that all that time you gave up things fearing Allāh SWT and seeking His pleasure…in Jannah, how relieved you would be! That Allāh SWT is pleased with you eternally. But to be able to achieve all that one will have to do the following according to the verse above:

•  Ask for forgiveness for sins and seek refuge from punishment of the Fire
• Be patient
• True to Deen in actions and words
• Obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allāh SWT
• Spend Zakah
• Pray and beg Allāh SWT's Pardon in the last hours of the night (Qiyām al layl)

Dear Muslim Sisters: just because you don't have children, it doesn't mean that you are:

•  The only one being tested
• The only one who does not have a certain type of blessing
• That there's something 'wrong' with you

What is worse is that people may start pitying you. Some people start making up stories about you. You don't have time to waste if people do as they say these things. And you certainly don't have time to waste your life thinking that true successful marriage should be equated to children. As long as Allāh SWT did not say that, who are YOU to adopt such a definition? Worth thinking about. Isn't it?

What this also means is that just because you don't have a child right now, you won't have one forever. If it was easy for Allāh SWT to create Ādam AS without any parents and 'Īsa b. Maryam without any father, then do you think it is impossible for Him to bless you with a child?

What about the story of Zachariya AS who was very old and his wife who was barren? He said: “My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age.” He said: “So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!” [Surah Maryam, 19:8-9]

So what is it then which is preventing Allāh SWT from blessing you with a child?

Some reasons could be as follows:

–> You and your husband can't handle a child. Maybe it'll divert you from the Deen of Allāh SWT! Remember the story in Suratul Kāhf  in which Khidr killed a boy because he was going to oppress his parents when he grew up?!

'Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him.  Mūsa(Moses) said: “Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukr” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!” (74)”And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief. (80) [Surah Al Kāhf ]

Think about that! And Allāh SWT does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.

'Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned…' [Surah Al Baqarah, verse 286]

–> You and your husband's past sins. Now it doesn't mean that those who have kids are righteous people. Not at all. But when one faces a certain challenging situation, one must look at oneself and see why is that certain type of Rizq is not coming my way? Rizq includes money, kids, spouse…in fact it includes everything that Allāh SWT bestows us with. Here's a solution in the Qurʾān :

“I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; 'He will send rain to you in abundance; 'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.' ” [Surah An Nooh, 71:10-12]

Here Prophet Nooh AS proposes one key method to get rain, increase in wealth and children. And that one key method is Istighfaar. If you really want kids, you may want to focus on creating a routine of Istighfaar. Of course, most of you want kids. Would most of you end up asking for forgiveness?

–> Allāh SWT wants to choose you for Himself. What I mean by that is, often times our hearts are filled with love for people and things. Once those people and things no longer reside in our heart, then only we have room for Allāh SWT. One can never have Allāh SWT and love for this Dunya in their hearts because we all know that hearts are like any other vessels. So we end up then pleasing those whom we love, forgetting the One who granted us the object that we loved and the emotion of love itself.

'…And of mankind are some that set up rivals; unto Allāh they love them as with the love due to Allāh. And those who believe are strongest in love of Allāh…'[Surah al Baqarah, 2:165]

By not granting you kids, Allāh SWT does not want you to waste those emotions over kids. Instead He SWT wants you to love Him more than anyone else. He want to empty your heart from all other types of love which shackle you and make you weak and He wants you to love only Him. Him Alone. So much so that your eyes only see the Guidance He SWT has sent, your ears hear what He SWT wants you to hear…He SWT does not want you to get distracted. He wants you to be focused on the greater purpose of your creation…

Makes you love Allāh SWT more, right?

I mean imagine the situation of Aisha RA. She did not have any kids. But you know what? She ended up teaching and guiding millions and billions of kids. She was not only a mother because she's the Mother of Believers…she lived up to it by caring for those who came to learn from her just like a mother.

So what if you don't ever become a mother? Can't you channelize that love and guide other people's kids? Can't you become a mother to those kids who are orphaned? Can't you be a form of mercy by educating other kids to become great Muslims?

Think about it! Think about the reward!

You may not become a Khadija, who gave birth to all Prophet's kids but you then get the chance to become Aisha. Khadija, may Allāh SWT be pleased with her, raised excellent kids and we know all the wonderful qualities she had and all the beautiful ways she contributed towards advancement of Islam. But she didn't get the chance like Aisha RA, i.e. to teach the Salaf, to become a Faqiha. Why? Because Allāh SWT gives some people some blessings while others, other blessings.

What's important to remember is how would YOU utilize the blessings that you have in His Path?

One way to be content with whatever comes your way is by having good expectations of Allāh SWT. If Allāh SWT made things happen, then know that they are good for you. You may not know but Allāh SWT does because He SWT loves you more than you or anyone can love you.

“Allāh `azza wa jall said: 'Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware'.” [Tabarani]

So be content and leave everything to Him.

Because He SWT knows what we want and He SWT knows when to grant us what we want. Or sometimes whether or not to grant us those things. For He SWT knows best.

***

Some duaas that you can recite daily (all from Qurʾān ) to be blessed with righteous offspring and/or rectify the state of current offspring:

•  Surah Al Baqarah, verse 128
• Surah Āle-'Imrān, verse 38
• Surah Ibrāhīm, verse 40
• Surah Al-Furqān, verse 74

And how can you ensure that Allāh SWT listens to your duaa? Look at what Zachariya AS and his wife are described as doing:

And (remember) Zakariyya (Zachariah), when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahya (John), and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us. [Surah Al Anbiya, 21:89-90]

But always remember:

'And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us (i.e. pleases Allâh), but only he who believes (in the Islâmic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds (will please us); as for such, there will be twofold reward for what they did, and they will reside in the high dwellings (Paradise) in peace and security.' [Surah Saba,34:37]

Why's that? Because:

'Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds, that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. [Surah Al Kāhf , 18:46]

May Allāh SWT make us content with what He has Decreed for us and bless our Ummah with righteous offspring. Ameen.

And Allāh SWT knows Best. Please remember me in your duaas.

Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Love,

From a sister who cares.

BFTF : Welcome to the show Yaseen! To start off, could you give a small clue about what Emmanuel House is and the project that Karimia has been involved in.

MY : Well, I first came across Emmanuel House when I was working for the local authority. I used to work at Carlton Street for the Youth Service. I used to run the “Youth Shop”. Carlton Street is the street that runs directly behind Nottingham City Council building in the square and it you go over the top of the hill and drop down as though you were heading towards the Victoria Market, you come across EH right at the bottom of the hill where the traffic lights are…

It's an old fifties-sixties kind of building and I remember always seeing people who looked homeless in fact. You could tell that some of them were alcoholics, some of them would have been just very shabbily dressed and they would be hovering outside this building.

Having said that, I think there may be some listeners out there that might be able to reflect on the principle of helping people who are homeless, people who are poor, people who are needy. We come across this all the time. When I was last in Pakistan, people would go to a darbar(shrine), they would give, they would volunteer, donate money, a goat or something. So I don't think it is an alien concept to look after people who are hungry, who are poor. But to do it in this country, that is a departure.The reason I got to know about this project at least 10-15 years ago, was because every time we used to do events at our premises in the Youth Shop for young people, we would have food and other things left behind at the end of the event. Some of the volunteers used to say “shall we just take this stuff down to Emmanuel House?”. Well, it did occur to me one time to say “Well, I'll take it down with you” just to find out what this place was and when I went down I realised that it was essentially an advice and support type service for people who were homeless and then I realised who all these people were that were standing outside waiting to go into this building. They obviously had a timetable for when they had to go in. And essentially, that was my first introduction to Emmanuel House. But I didn't know what the service was, in terms of who it was organised by, why there were volunteers there. And it wasn't until Dr. Musharraf called me and said that through the Christian-Muslim Forum, a request has come to see if the Muslim community might support this organization which is meeting the needs of people who are homeless in the city of Nottingham, that I realised that there was a connection on the other side with the churches. So I think their church is supportive of the work that they are doing. This is slight departure from the type of routine work that Muslims would tend to get involved with.

What's happened with Emmanuel House is that with these current financial cutbacks that the local authority has decided that it was going to make some cuts to Emmanuel House's budget – and these were really significant, they were to the bone to be honest. There was some sense that the whole of the operation helping homeless in Nottingham might collapse and their Chief Executive decided that she would start a local campaign to see if she could generate community support for it. Their (the community's) initial responses were that people would come in with tins of money, children would come in with piggy banks and that's when they realised that actually the community is very supportive of supporting people who are really vulnerable and likely to get into even more trouble, at worst, die on the streets of Nottingham City. So they approached Karimia Institute and said “Do you think the Muslim community would support this?”. I think that is a really big challenge. On the one hand I thought it was quite cheeky that the churches, who are so wealthy, would have the gall to ask the Muslim community “Would you like to support something that we are supporting?”.

But after I had thought about it, you know, who are the beneficiaries? Is the church the beneficiary here, or is it the people? And whom are we supporting? Are we supporting the church or are we supporting the people? It wasn't very difficult for me to conclude that our intention is the most important thing. So what is our intention? It is to help people to safeguard themselves, to help them get out of poverty, to get a roof over their heads and to feed people as well. So when I met with their marketing manager, she asked me how the Muslim community would view supporting a charity like theirs. I said that frankly, we have a very great spirit of feeding people who are hungry and that would be a really excellent mission and something that I think Muslims would feel empathy for. And if there was anything we would want to support. So I kinda narrowed it down a bit because I thought that I wouldn't feel comfortable about seeing my donation propping up the churches work, as it were, and there mission. I wouldn't want it to be seen in that way, if I was going to help people I would want to help people who are really in need.

To help your neighbour is important, They have rights over us so we have a responsibility to them and, in the same way, people who are living in Nottingham on the streets, they are our neighbours. We walk past them, drive past them, sometimes taxi drivers will see them lying in the street. These people are our neighbours. We have a responsibility, as Muslims, to do something about that.

With the support of Zameer from Radio Dawn, we decided to launch a small campaign to support them. We were very keen to make sure that we supported the aspect of work which was going to have the greatest impact. It is admirable that all those people (who donated) looked beyond the initial thing that they saw, which was a white non-Muslim charity that was doing work, to the people that it was going to benefit.

I remember my father telling me that Christianity did well because they gave the Bible with one hand and bread with the other. You show humanity when you feed people, you show that you care for people – and if you can show that you care for people you can influence their perception of what you are and what you believe, and maybe that is one of the ways we can bring people to Islam.

This project is not the first time I have come across this practice. When I was a student in Bradford University, I was cajoled by some of my student colleagues into doing some volunteering that would “blow my mind”. They took me to an underground hall of a church and in the underground part of the church and when I went inside, Lo and Behold, there were all these Muslims who were cooking and preparing food and I asked “What is going on here?” and they replied “Well, the church is allowing us to have this space so that we can feed homeless people” and that was for me the first shock – I anticipated that I would see white non-Muslim people walking through with a tray, with food, picking up an apple and some fruit and going back to a table and eating. And the number of Pakistani people, men and women walking through – and I could tell that they weren't people who had homes, they were genuinely homeless, you could tell from their dress. Some had mental health problems, that was very apparent, and it dawned on me that I was feeding people here that were not just Muslims but there were other people as well.

I was just given an apron and told, put the food on the platter, smile, give them some water and let them pass by. And after one hour of doing that I was asked to take my apron off and pass it to the person who was walking through the door. What they had was a rota for three hours and a local businessman, who has a relationship with Nottingham as well, was located in Bradford was sponsoring this and paying for the food to be served every single Thursday evening.

So that was really my first experience of actually feeding people, so when I heard about other brothers in Nottingham wanting to do the same, I can support that 100%. For an hour a week, to make that much impact on that many people's lives who were walking through, was the backdrop for what I was seeing that needed to be done with Emmanuel House.I was dragged in as a student to do this one hour and after that I used to go back every Thursday and I did that for six-seven months. That work in Bradford is still continuing today.

That's one of the things I've tried to implement with many of the things done here at Karimia Institute. Things like the Scouts, I'm asking volunteers to come forward and I'm saying to them, “Give one hour a week. Don't give me two, I don't want two, just give me one. Just come here, do something good, enjoy yourself working with young people, making a difference in their lives and go home feeling like you have actually done something. If everybody just gave me one hour, I'd be a lucky bloke!

BFTF : Regarding the fact the some people may say that we need to help our community first. It's not an either/or, you can do two things at once. It's like saying that we shouldn't have gone to the Moon because we should have solved hunger on earth, but I don't think that if we had not gone to the Moon, the problems of hunger would have been solved. What would be your perception on that viewpoint ?

MY : I think that one of the issues with people saying that we should do something for our own is that what they don't realize is that there is a ripple effect. And things happen to us as a consequence of we not taking responsibility. For example, if we had taken responsibility over CFC's, we wouldn't have damaged the ozone layer – and the damage to the ozone layer affects not just Muslims, it affects everybody so to do something about that is important. Similarly there are plenty of examples where, you have someone who is so desperate that they might be forced to rob somebody and somebody might get hurt there. Now, if they weren't so desperate, because they had had a meal in their belly that evening, they might not need to have to do that. It's often the case that people say “It's not going to happen to me” until it happens to you and then it's like “Why did this happen to me?” and the reason is that globally, as a community, we failed to do something. And so I think that feeding people who are homeless, who have no home, no food, no livelihood, no work, no place that they can use as an address, can't get access to benefits – are basically completely detached. Well, those people are human being and they are going to want to fulfil some of their basic desires and that might be getting money from somewhere. Somebody could get held up, somebody could get injured, somebody could be killed – and if that outcome happened because we didn't feed somebody, that's our responsibility.

BFTF : Can you give a little more detail on what Emmanuel House does?

MY : Well they do all sorts of advice. Essentially, when you walk through the door they provide you with a free meal, access to a nurse to deal with any injuries you may have sustained and they arrange for you to have a roof over your head. They will also wash your clothes so that you can put some clean clothes back on. These are the very foundation stones of decency in our society.

Our campaign was not about the whole of the Emmanuel House organization, we felt that the best thing that we could do was to feed those people who are hungry and that that would be an excellent thing to do. And that is essentially what we have done, we fund raised quite a large amount of money for them and that money is going to be dedicated to spending on food for people who are homeless.

We raised about £6000, but they need a lot more than that, their target spend – just on food, is around £13,000. I think this is the first time that the Muslim community and the Christian community have collaborated on a programme like this and consequently it's clear that the Muslim community are prepared to put their hands in their pockets and are prepared to see beyond the structural differences between the communities, see through that fog to the people who really matter who are those lonely souls walking around on the streets during the day thinking about where they are going to sleep that night.

Imagine if this was your bedroom every evening…

BFTF : If people are interested in this project, how can they donate?

MY : They can send a check to Emmanuel House directly, or they can send it to us at Bobbers Mill Community Centre and we will forward it to them. Or the same thing can be done via a cash donation.

BFTF : What has been the response from the Non-Muslim community, the churches etc.?

MY : I don't think they expected us to come forward as we did and, as always, when Muslims rise to the challenge, people are astounded. If anything, we have demonstrated that we are not easily put into a box. Muslims are much more globally thinking, they are charitable, we are very, very generous compared to many other communities. We both look after our own community and we are prepared to look after other communities. In some ways it is a really valuable lesson to give to people who are non-Muslims because where they have had stereotypes about the Muslim community, about us being insular, not interested in other people, wanting to live parallel lives – that is not the case. I think we are part of our community, part of the city of Nottingham. We reflect both an eagerness to support people who are vulnerable, who are homeless, we are at the front-line.

No-one should be under the impression that Muslim communities are only interested in themselves or that they do not have any part to play in British society. British Muslims are interested in everybody in this country, as we are for people overseas as well.

Some people may think that Muslims are only interested in foreign affairs, well this is a really good example of how we are interested in home affairs – very close to home affairs in fact.

BFTF : BFTF often seen individual Muslims working in a whole range of voluntary organizations, but what is unusual is to see a Muslim Organization stepping forward to work with the wider society.

MY : What we have done here is to trail-blaze for other Muslim organizations in the city. We can demonstrate that we have an interest in helping people and we are building bridges and links with other organizations and I think there is a level of respectability that comes from this as well. Rather than us always being seen, dare I say it, terrorists or radicals and extremists in society, what we can be seen as is humanitarian people who think about their neighbor, who think about other people around them and can appropriately respond when needed.

I hope very much that anybody who contributed to the campaign, whether they were givers or supporters, will realize that when we are talking about working with people who are vulnerable, we have vulnerable people in our own community. We have people who are getting into drugs or alcohol, we have young people going to prison – at one of the fastest rates of any community in the UK and there is very little understanding of why we should be sympathetic to their needs. It's almost like “they have brought it on themselves, so they should pay for it” – but we forget that when these people come out of prison, their behaviour and what they do in society is likely to have an impact on us. So if you get burgled and you find that it was someone on drugs, you may also find out that that person may have been a Muslim. So when we talk about supporting people who are drug addicts in our community, people should not turn their noses up at it and think “That's their own fault”. . . How do we respond to ALL vulnerabilities in our community? Should we be open handed with them? Should we think about supporting those causes?

Because there are so many of those (causes) but the Pakistani and Muslim communities does not tend to focus on them. But this one campaign with Emmanuel House has, I think, demonstrated that there is a soft spot, a soft underbelly within the Muslim community that is prepared to look at that.

BFTF : What are your plans for the future of this project?

MY : Emmanuel House are the drivers and what they asked us to do was to support them with their campaign and that is essentially what we have done. Karimia does not have any plans to set up feeding services and I think this is primarily because this was our first trial run at seeing what the community is likely to be interested in doing.

For the future, an idea would be to put people on the street, we are already working with Radford Road Police Station to look at some of the issues with Muslim Youth in Forest Fields, there have been so many complaints and so many arrests carried out of young people involved in anti-social activity and crime that the Police Station is absolutely overrun with cases and they have approached us and said “Is there any way you can help?”so we have come up with a project, we haven't launched it officially yet, but I'll give listeners an inkling as to what it is about. The idea is that we are going to have “Imams on the Street”, the idea would be that we have people who are strong in their Iman (faith) who feel that they want to make a difference to their community and they will go out on the street and they will engage people and support them to divert them from crime and anti-social behaviour. That's our starting point and I am really fortunate to be supported by about 30 people so far, men and women, who have come forward to take a youth work qualification which we have laid on to NVQ level 2. We are appealing to these people to, when they have completed their qualification, to become part of this team of people who will go out onto the streets of Nottingham. Not just in Forest Fields but wherever this issue occurs, where Muslim youth are being led astray or going astray themselves – to interject, to make a difference in their lives.

BFTF : Why do you think this is happening now? Why not 10 or 15 years ago.

MY : Certainly 10 years ago, we didn't have the same rates of crime, anti-social behaviour and unemployment. There was a higher degree of control by families in terms of supporting their children. I think as time has gone on, certainly into the last decade, more and more people are thinking about working, the cost of living is going up, so there are lots of socio-economic factors that are affecting the make up of our community and also the impact that it is having on the different elements of the community, whether they be the elderly, middle aged parents, young people or even children. So, in some ways, to ask why this kind of work didn't happen earlier, we are reacting to current needs and maybe 10 years ago these weren't current needs.

But engagement with young people was, and maybe Karimia is in a good position to be able to boast that we were doing youth work . I can certainly remember when I was working in the local authority delivering camps at Overton Park . We would take young people and families camping and they would be able to see the countryside, some young people had never seen the countryside.

BFTF : On a slightly separate subject, I noticed that you were involved with a recent Himmah Institute “Big Supper” event, where they provided food for local homeless people. What's your perception of their work?

MY : It's interesting that you ask me that question because I was cajoled into supporting that one as well. I think that it is a very good connection by Muslim young people and I think that it is admirable that it is young people who are at the forefront of this one. The work that they have done is building bridges with organizations that wouldn't know the Muslim community and certainly they do know the Muslim community now. You know, if you maintain a clear Niyat (Intention) as to why you are doing it then it both benefits us and it benefits them. Perhaps what they should do is to have a calendar of events and invite people along to it, so if there are people out there who are thinking that they could give some time to volunteering, perhaps an hour or two, that might be an ideal way of doing it. Perhaps if they could produce such a calendar we could put it out on the airwaves.

“The Big Supper” for local homeless people

 BFTF : Lastly, could you give feel for the quality of mentoring that you and Perwaise do in the Youth Club as listeners may not be aware of everything that goes on behind the scenes.

MY : We are really keen to start supporting and helping young people achieve. As you know, Karimia Institute is about education, our mission statement says very clearly that we are about education.

We are about keeping people in education for a start. Many of our young people are beginning to find themselves in positions where they are excluded and not only that, they are not succeeding in achieving their 5 GCSE's and so were are hoping to support that education effort through our tutorial classes.

But in the Youth Club itself, that is an opportunity for youth workers, older young men and women to build a relationship with young people. So if those young people have got issues and they want to talk to someone, they should have someone who they can talk and look up to. I can remember years ago people used to organise events and I would get invited along to them and they would show an interest in me, and as a young person, I used to value that. And that is what we still need to provide – an appropriate adult who can be both a role model to young people but also show an interest and care for young people because that is what they don't have. Many of them are lacking in people who care and love them for who they are – and certainly in the Youth Club, people may think that the Youth Club is all about playing games but it's more than that, it's about building relationships with other people and if these people are building relationships in a place like a masjid (mosque) then that is phenomenal because that says that coming to the masjid is cool, its OK. So we don't need to cajole young people to come here and if they come to the Youth Club and the Azaan (call to prayer) goes then it is the norm that that they will say their Salat (prayers) and then come back to the Youth Club. We don't want to create an environment where you HAVE to go to the masjid and it has to be done with a stick – how it should be done is through love and association and the youth club provides that, and certainly the youth workers here are working with parents to address issues that the parents have identified. So if the parents are concerned and worried about their son, as has been the case – I can think of numerous examples of where people have come to see me and said “Look, I am really concerned, my son continually gets arrested by the Police and I'm really unhappy about that”. So when does he get arrested? “He gets arrested in the evenings”. So if he comes to the Youth Club he is active in those hours when he would be getting into trouble, then we are diverting him from crime.

So we are doing things that people do not see, normally. People see young people in our centre and they think “what are all these young kids doing here, running around” – well actually, they are running around in a good place, in our masjid and that is a really good thing.

Interview with Mohammed Yaseen, Director of Youth Services, Karimia Institute, on 29th June 2011 on Radio Dawn 107.6FM was originally posted here.

Emmanuel House have, quite reasonably, commented that Emmanuel have “moved away from being such a strongly Christian organization. It has a much broader base of support now.”