[The following is the video and transcript of Shaykh Abdul Nasir's lecture "Happiness in the Home." The transcript includes slight modifications for the sake of readability and clarity.]

One of the most important concepts within our religion (our dīn) is something that the Qurʾān talks about extensively and something that is very, very prominent from the study of the life of the Prophet , the prophetic biography, the sīrah.  Similarly, this is something that is very extensively and emphatically addressed by the Prophet in the sacred traditions, the aḥadīth of the Prophet .   It is something that is a very obvious need of human beings and a part of the human experience, and that is the issue of family.

The issue of family is something that each and every single one of us can experience and deal with in our own ways, shape, and forms.  It is something that is relevant to each and every single human being.  When talking about the issue of family, I feel that it is very important, crucial, and critical for us – and when we look at any issue or situation such as in the āyāt the shaykh recited in the prayer on the concept of the belief in one Allāh and believing in one god and one deity, the concept of tawḥīd and oneness of God.  What is very beautiful and very important to note about how Allāh addresses the issue of tawḥīd within the Qurʾān, Allāh presents the problem.  He talks about the partners you associate with Allāh –  the false gods, false deities, false idols that you have taken other than Allāh.  One very important way in addressing any situation and one very consistent pattern throughout the Qurʾān and teachings of the Prophet that if we are to truly address any issue, any concern, any situation, then we first and foremost must come to terms with the reality of the situation.

When we talk about rehabilitation and solving any problems and resolving any type of issue, the very first step of rehabilitation is accepting that there is a problem, being aware of the problem and being cognizant of the situation and not being ashamed and not being afraid and not shying away from admitting the fact that there is a problem.  That is the first step to solving any situation and problem.

When we talk about the situation of family, something that is very near and dear to our hearts, and I think that anyone who has any level of experience in community leadership, community matters, and community affairs will very readily admit and stand up hear with me and preach about the dire need of addressing family issues, not just in society and not just in community but specifically even within the Muslim community, from our imams and our shuyukh who are on the front lines to even community leaders and community activists.  A basic khaṭīb can tell you the importance.  A Sunday school teacher and a weekend Islamic school teacher can speak to you for hours and hours about the critical need of addressing the family situation.

Coming to Terms with the Reality

What is the reality at hand?  What are our issues? What are our circumstances?  What is going on with us?

1.  One thing that we have to understand in our very unique circumstance and our very unique situation as a Muslim minority living here in America and need to come to terms with is that the problems that we are experiencing in Muslim families are the same that others are experiencing outside of the Muslim community as well.  Meaning there are certain things that are unique about our circumstances and situation, but generally speaking, a lot of what we are experiencing are general problems across the board.

We have to deal with a very specific reality, and that reality is that we live in this same society as every other faith-based community and every other ethnic community:  current, modern-day United States of America.  We are being impacted by those same social elements.  It is very important for us to understand and deal with the reality that we are similar to any other community, meaning we will be impacted by our society and the culture we live in.  The media and the impact that it is having on them is also having the same impact on us.  The effects of the school environment and interacting with other children has the same effects on them as us.

I always tell this story that I have a little bit of a unique experience.  There are many other people who have extensive experience in this regard, but I feel that in terms of a lot of people in our community today, I have a unique experience, which is simply the fact that I was raised during the 80s, which was not too young ago.  I still may be a kid to many of our elders here, but that still is a significant time ago.  I grew up during the 80s and I was a teenager during the 90s.  I grew up in a place where there were very few Muslim families.  The Muslim community is still relatively young.  It was very, very small.  Minuscule back then.

Growing up at a time like that, I got to see the evolution of the Muslim community, the development of the Muslim community until the point where we are today.  At the same time, there was amongst the immigrant Muslim community this notion and idea – and I don't mean to offend anyone – and this delusion that we're all eventually going “back home.”  That was the tone of the immigrant Muslim community in the 80s.  That was their mindset during the 80s and even leading into the 90s – that they are all eventually going back home.

There was a certain amount of denial about dealing with the issues at hand.  I remember very vividly that when people would even address social issues and social evils and family issues that were very, very common at that point in time in general American society, there was this distancing from those issues and concerns by saying, “Those are their problems, not ours.  That happens with them, not us.”

I still remember during the early 90s, one of my main teachers and mentors and senior shuyukh Mufti Naeem (ḥafiẓahullāh) used to visit the United States on an annual basis.  He would travel around and talk to communities.  I was a very young ḥāfiẓ of the Qurʾān at that time.  I was leading ṣalāt'l-tarāwīḥ for a community at a masjid and he came to visit and check on me and see how we were doing.  We had close family relationships as well.  He came to the tarāwīḥ prayers to check on me and see how I was doing, and of course we requested him to address the congregation like I am addressing you now.  He started talking about the family issues.  He was trying to emphasize adhering to the dīn and learning the dīn and the importance of instilling a system of tarbiyah within the homes and within the community so that our children could grow up with the proper Islamic perspective.  Otherwise, the social evils in family issues that we saw “out there” and “amongst them” – notice the specific language that I am using – before we know it, it will be standing at our own doorstep and be inside of our own homes and communities.

I remember being very young and shocked by the reaction.  I remember some community members becoming very angry, shouting at the shaykh and interrupting him saying, “How dare you!”  He was talking about issues like divorce, kids running away from home, children rebelling against their parents, families breaking apart and cutting each other off and disowning each other – things that have become commonplace in our communities today, right?

I still remember very vividly some community members becoming very angry.  “How dare you even talk about this stuff?  Don't even mention the word divorce!  Our children and families are here.  How dare you talk about this stuff!  These aren't our problems.  We're Muslims.  We don't have these problems.  Those are their problems.”  Pardon my use of the word – I don't condone speaking in this manner, but I'm trying to paint the picture for you of what the mentality was – “Those are the kuffār's problems.  Those aren't our problems.  We don't have those issues.”  There was such a complete denial and obliviousness and delusion present in our communities at that time.

Before you knew it, my same teacher visiting year after year, it was literally a number of years before he was opening up and giving a lecture on taqwa or ṣabr or fasting or the importance of Qurʾān and he was specifically being requested to talk about marriage.  He is specifically being requested to talk about divorce and children rebelling against their parents.

This is the reality that we have to come to terms with.  “Their problems” are the same problems we have.  There is a certain common thread between a lot of these issues; therefore, the factors are the same.  Some solutions might also be very, very similar.  We will, of course, have our own take on them because of the guidance of Allāh and the guidance of His Messenger .  Nevertheless, there are some common threads that we have to understand.  We also have to understand that we are not immune, as Muslims, Muslim families and Muslim communities, to the evils, problems, circumstances and situations that may be “out there.”  That is the very first reality.

2.  There is a second reality that I would like to address here before getting to some specifics of the family situation and the condition and situation of families.  It is very important, and we have to understand this.  A lot of times, for us, this is not wrong or incorrect in any way, shape or form, but nevertheless it is a concern and some people are very focused in this regard.

For some people, the bottom line is just spirituality.  Just Islam, īmān.  They translate Islam and īmān as just a connection with Allāh and the spiritual part of it – the spiritual relationships and the spiritual connection to Allāh.

Understand one thing:  family struggles, family difficulties, unrest, trouble, chaos, distress in the home, and unhappiness in the home affect spirituality.  It affects people's relationship with Allāh.  It has a very profound impact on an individual.  When someone is struggling in their marriage, in their relationship with their children, in their home, and the harmony in the home is gone, that will affect a person's spiritual condition.

How often has it been the case that when you are having a fight at home and are in the middle of a very serious situation with your spouse – yes the mind initially goes to making du'ā', but when it goes on and persists and becomes a serious problem and serious issue, how common is it that you forget to pray?  You don't think of the prayer.  You don't feel like getting up and praying.  You become neglectful of even your ṣalāh.  How common is that?

Understand that even unrest within the home and the emotional distress that a human experiences due to concerns in the family and distress in the family affects spirituality.  Make no mistake about that.

Key Dynamics & Relationships of the Family

Having said that, what are some of the key dynamics and key relationships of family where we are struggling, and what are some of the struggles that we are experiencing?  Then, very briefly, we'll talk a little bit about – it is a very short lecture, so obviously we can't solve the problems here and can't even in detail address the issues and solutions, but we can at least raise awareness.  Understand that raising awareness is the first step to solving any problem.  After a person admits that there is a problem, the next step is raising awareness about the issue and about some of the solutions.  We need to at least start talking about this and becoming aware.  That's what we'll do here.

Parent-Child

The very first universal dynamic of family relationships is the parent-child relationship.  Everyone is either a parent or a child.  We'll talk about marriage and some other things, but the very first universal application of family is the parent-child relationship.  Everyone is either a parent or a child.

Something very beautiful about the Qurʾān, the Book of Allāh, the ultimate source of guidance, ultimate reminder and ultimate lesson is Allāh talks about this relationship.  Allāh highlights both the problems and the solutions.  Allāh presents problematic, difficult parent-child relationships to us in the Qurʾān, and He presents to us harmonious, beautiful, happy, functional, beneficial, flourishing parent-child relationships within the Qurʾān as well to both present the problem and the solution.

The Qurʾān is not a storybook.  The Qurʾān is not a history textbook.  The Qurʾān is guidance.  It is a reminder.  It presents and solves problems.  It points out our problems to us and solves those problems for us.  When Allāh chooses to mention something in His Book and in His Speech, it is there for a reason and purpose because it is very important and very relevant.

Allāh in Sūrah Maryam, and other places as well, very extensively presents the difficult and strained relationship of Ibrāhīm with his father.  A father is frustrated with his son, and the son is frustrated with the father.  Both have their own perspectives.  The father is frustrated with the son because the son has abandoned the culture, the religion, the ways of his father, family, community, forefathers.  The son is frustrated with the father because the father is in denial about the truth – believing in one God.  They are going back and forth.  The son is telling the father very respectfully “O abati (O my dear father),” which is like how we would say, “Dad, please.  Abu, come on, please.  Baba, please.”  He is pleading with his father and says “ya abati” four times.  At the beginning of every statement, he says, “Dad, please.”  Ya abati, ya abati.  He is trying to be respectful and not point any blame.  “You are not bad, dad.  Shaytan is bad.”  He is trying to plead with the father, and the father is frustrated with the child.  “So you're trying to tell me my gods aren't good enough for you, Ibrāhīm?”  He doesn't say “my dear son.”  “I'll kill you!”  It literally means in Arabic, “I'll stone you,” which is an expression in Arabic meaning “I'll kill you.  I'll hurt you.  You need to stop know, I'll hurt you.”  “Get out of here, you are dead to me.  You are nothing to me.”  Look how difficult that relationship is.  Allāh presents such a parent-child relationship.

Ya'qūb with the older sons is a strained relationship.  They are jealous:  “He likes Yūsuf better than he likes us.  He chooses Yūsuf over us.  He loves Yūsuf more than he loves us.  Why?”  The father is trying to make the sons understand.  “What is wrong with you guys?  Why would you even say that?  Why would you even think that?”  The father knows that the sons have taken their younger brother and disposed of him.  The father knows they are lying to his face, but what can he do?  This is a difficult relationship.

A parent-child relationship is something that Allāh tells us:  “There are lessons.”  There will be difficulties in the parent-child relationship.  The child will feel like the parents just don't understand them, and the parents will be frustrated with the child.  “I only want good for you.  Why won't you listen to me?”  The child says, “You don't understand me!”  The parent says, “You don't listen to me!”  I think all of us have experienced that.  SubḥānAllāh something that is unique about this relationship, this is not only when the children are young.  This is not only in the teenage years.  Those who are older and have older parents also know the struggles and the challenges.  That is why you know that very famous ayah of the Qurʾān from Sūrat'l-Isrā', “Don't even say uff to your parents.”

Do you know what context it is in?  It is specifically talking about when one or both of your parents have reached senility and have become old and senile.  Now they are angry.  They are frustrated and their body is falling apart.  They are ill and sick.  They can't eat properly, they can't sleep properly, they can't walk properly.  Do you know how difficult that is?  As young, able-bodied people we have no understanding of how frustrating that must be.  Imagine living your life on your own feet and being independent for 50, 60 years and then one day you cannot even get up and go get a glass of water by yourself and can't get a glass of water by yourself.  Imagine what that's like.  They are angry.  They are short-tempered, frustrated.  Even the mind begins to go.  The emotions become frail.  Allāh tells us, “They get returned back to the worst of ages.”

One of my dear, dear friends, one of my best friends, accepted Islam in middle school and we grew up together.  He is a convert and his parents are not Muslim yet.  Make du'ā' for them inshā'Allāh.  May Allāh bless them with guidance, hidāyah.  Both of his parents are old and have health issues, but his mother suffered a very severe stroke recently to the point where she lost a lot of function in half her body.  He told me, “Nasir, you know when life hits you and you wake up to the reality of life, the reality of so many things hit you in the face.  60 miles per hour.”  He is working and working hard.  He travels for work and has to be away from his parents because he is financially supporting them and paying the medical bills for the nurse to be there to take care of his mother.  All of the responsibility is on him.  He said, “I was visiting my parents over the weekend, back home from work and off the road.  I went back to my parents and was with them over the weekend.  I sat there and fed my mother with a spoon.  I spoon-fed my own mom.”

SubḥānAllāh.  That's when I realized.  You know when you sit there and feed your child?  I have a two-year old at home.  When you sit there and feed your child and say, “Come on, come on.  Open up.”

Another one of my dear, dear friends, we studied together.  We grew up together and are like brothers.  His mother also has very difficult health and suffered a stroke and is dealing with a lot.  I visited him and his mother with him.  Having to force her to speak and to talk and to interact and to eat, asking, “Come on, did you eat your food?”  SubḥānAllāh.

Allāh is talking about when parents reach old age.  My grandmother , may Allāh bless her and grant her Jannat'l-Firdaws, developed Alzheimer's before she passed away.  SubḥānAllāh.  I witnessed that and I witnessed my mother, aunt, and uncle experiencing that.  The mind was gone.  Allāh in that context is speaking about our parents becoming old, the difficulty and the frustration with parents.  Teenagers say, “You are making my life difficult.  God, you hate me.  Why do you hate me so much?  You never want to let me do anything.  You want to ruin my life.”  Usually it is about sleeping over at a friend's house on a Friday night.  “But everyone is going to be there.  You are destroying my life.”  The frustration that kids have with parents is not relegated to teenagers.  Anyone who has elderly parents and is an adult now and mature now – “I'm an adult.  I'm mature now.  I don't have drama.  I don't have teenage hormones.  I'm not going through that phase in my life.  I'm not an adolescent” – you still know about the frustration with parents, don't you?  You might be an adult and you might not have drama anymore, but now your parents are old and fragile and senile and demanding.  They don't want your money.  “I've paid their bills, what more do they want?  I send money every month, what more do they want?”  They just want to sit and talk to you.  That's all they want.  They still want to know that they exist and matter to you.  They still want you to ask their opinion about something like you used to.

Allāh is speaking specifically.  Frustration with parents is a universal thing.  Everyone is dealing with it.  Similarly, frustration with the children and disappointment with children is a universal thing.  When they are kids, they don't listen, they don't learn, they don't pay attention.  The world is opening up to my four year-old and she is starting to become more and more independent every single day.  It is already awkward for her now.  I dropped by her school and walked into the classroom and saw her working.  You know, when your children are small, or at any age for that matter, when you look at your children, you are overcome with love.  The love just fills your heart.  I hadn't seen her for three hours – she went to school at 8 in the morning and I'm there at 11 and it already feels like a lifetime.  What did I do?  I walked up to her from behind her and hugged her and kissed her.  She said, “Abuuu, stop!”  When she got home later that day, she tells my wife, “Mommy, Abu hugged me and kissed me in front of everybody.”  I'm like, “What's wrong with that?  Of course I hugged you and kissed you because you are my baby girl!”

It starts there, and they start to become independent.  Anybody who has teenagers, they know.  I was recently talking to a friend and colleague, another imam, and we were all getting together and talking about how much we love our communities and how amazing our lives are, māshā'Allāh.  We are all fairly younger and all have small children and babies except for one of colleagues who has a teenager.  It struck me.  I asked him, “We talk and lecture so much and preach all the time.  How is it having a teenager?”  He says, “Ya, Al-Salām. Make du'ā' for me.”  That's all he could say.

The disappointment and frustration with children is universal, whether they are kids or teenagers and even when your children are all grown up.  You think my parents don't still get frustrated with me?  Of course they do.  Even when they are all grown up and have kids of their own and are responsible individuals and have a job and a home and a family, they is still always going to be frustration because of what I just mentioned.  “You don't have time for me anymore?  You can't come and say 'hi'?  You can't say salām to your mom?”

My mom text messages me, which weirds me out.  There is something that seems unnatural about an older Pakistani woman text messaging.  It's like, why do you even know how to text message?  She text messages me and she expects a text message back.  If I don't respond back in the next couple of minutes because I was lecturing or teaching, then I get a follow-up text message with a question mark.  The next one has two question marks.  The third one has three question marks.  “Where are you?”  It's a universal thing to be frustrated with your children.  All of us experience this.

That's one of the situations and dynamics in which we require some guidance and need some direction.  I'm going to lay out some of the key family relationships and what are their issues, and then we are going to talk about implementation of some of the solutions.

Marriage & Spousal Relationship

The second family dynamic that we struggle with and are experiencing problems in regards to is marital discord, starting all the way from pre-marriage, how to get married.  It is a universal problem and has become a very common problem.  You can ask the shaykh.  How many young people show up at his doorstep?  “I want to get married to so-and-so but this problem or her parents or my parents or this or that…”  It starts from there.  Even problems in the marriage.

Sometimes in a rush of emotions or even in religious overzealousness, “I have to avoid the sin and avoid the fitnah and get married.”  Who, when, why, what, how – “Doesn't matter, brother.  It's the Sunnah.”  I'm pretty sure getting married blindly is not the Sunnah, but that's what happens.  Very, very young people are getting married in religious overzealousness or a rush of emotions.  A couple of years into marriage, they realize they didn't know the person they got married to.

It's becoming so common for young people and newlywed couples to be divorced within a number of months or even a couple of years if not a couple of months.  Lack of responsibility in a marriage.  A husband not taking his responsibility seriously.  A wife not behaving responsibly.  When you have young children, so many couples experience marital issues and problems.  Why?  “He is not being a father to his children.”  “She is not being a good mother.”  Lack of responsibility.

In-law interference. 

This is a term I came up with.  You know pass interference for football fans?  In-law interference (TM).  It is a major issue.  You have a clash of cultures and a clash of worlds and dimensions happening.  Is all interference from in-laws bad?  Absolutely not.  Nevertheless, the dynamics of that interference and how that interference is causing problems.  The in-law problem.

Lack of Maturity

Rushing into decisions and rushing into marriage.  Prioritization.  For some people, work comes before the family.  For some people, the religious cause, the organization, the association, the movement, the spreading of the dīn comes before family.  That is becoming a problem.  Families are being torn apart why?  Honestly, this is an oxymoron.  If somebody's family failed because of their service to the dīn and because of da'wah, it doesn't even make sense and is a contradiction.  It is an oxymoron and impossible.  It obviously means that somebody did not understand the dīn or religion.

Lack of Communication

In prioritization, there is another thing.  Sometimes it can be the religion and sometimes it can be work, money, greed, and that is justified by saying, “But I want to give you guys a nice home to live in.  I want to give you guys the life that I never had.  I want our kids to go to the best school.”  What happens because of that?  We destroy the family that we were using for justification to chase after money.

Sometimes it's my own hobbies and indulgences.  “I'm married but I still have to play Modern Warfare all night long with my friends.”  “I'm married but I still have to go to the basketball tournament.  I work all week and Saturday is the basketball tournament and the wife is waiting, and we're finally going to spend some good quality time together but I have to go ball with the boys.”  My own personal hobbies and my own personal indulgences.  This is football country.  I come from Dallas, another football area, so you guys will understand what I'm talking about.  Saturday is college ball and bowl games, which equals twelve hours of fun in front of the television.  “What the spouse does is their problem. I'm sorry, I'm not going to change me.  I'm not changing for anybody.  You married me and that's what you get.  I heard you say, 'I accept,' so you accepted ASU football as well, as terrible as it is.”  Sunday is football – NFL game day.  I have the NFL package where it is 8 screens on the TV at one time.  In a 12-hour period, I watch 15 games simultaneously.  Congratulations.  Mubarak.  Do you want a cookie?  Or maybe a laddoo?  What do you want?

Prioritization

Prioritization and a lack of sense of what the priorities are.  In this culture we have a challenge.  I was born and raised in Dallas, TX.  From this culture's perspective, I will tell you one huge problem we have with prioritization, something that we put before families that is very unique and specific to this culture.  There is a phrase and expression that guides you.  I can't repeat it here.  It is offensive and inappropriate and this is the masjid and House of Allāh, so it's impossible and I wouldn't because it is inappropriate.  They basically say, “bros before ____.”  Don't say it!  They use a very derogatory word about women.  It is basically putting your friends before women even though that word doesn't even apply to a person's wife, astaghfirullāh.

Nevertheless, that same concept is applied to marriage.  “Uh-uh, my friends come first.  Going to hang with the boys.”  This isn't even specific to the guys.  It is even in regards to the women.  If a woman gets married and is a wife now, how dare she not go out with the friends to dinner?  They get shunned and outcast by their unmarried friends.  They get pushed out by their unmarried friends.  This is a real struggle that people are having.  They literally have to reinvent their friends circle and rediscover friends.  First when they get married, the unmarried friends want no part.  “She has no time for us anymore.  She has to go and spend time with her husband.”  Like that is a ridiculous concept.

The young married friends who don't have children say about the first one to have children, “God, she's so lame to hang out with now.  Everything is about a diaper and milk.”  God forbid she be a good mother, right?  Now she is being again outcast by her friends and she has to go out there and discover other mom friends.  This is a struggle people have.  People crumble underneath that pressure.  “My friends have to be put first.  What am I going to do without my friends?”  The marriage, the children, everything will come second.  The marriage struggles because of a lack of prioritization.

Lack of communication.  That's one of the most universal issues and problems.  Never establishing a line of communication let alone being comfortable communicating concerns, problems or even good things.  Nothing is communicated.   Lines of communication are never established.  Again, this is a culture in which we pride ourselves in individuality and independence.  “I'm independent and my own self and I don't need anybody's help.”  That manifests itself and creates problems even in marriages.

Unwillingness to Compromise

“Why should I change anything about myself?  If you don't like the way things are, then you deal with it.”   Complete total lack of compromise.  Absolutely no motivation and no inclination to sacrifice anything.  “I should not have to sacrifice anything.”  This on both sides of the marriage.  I'm not sitting here giving some old school lecture about women having to sacrifice.  This is on both sides.

I feel that especially some of the very unique dynamics we have, I can speak about my generation and our challenges.  I feel that lack of sacrifice and unwillingness to sacrifice exists actually more amongst the guys than it does amongst the girls.  Just complete and total unwillingness to sacrifice anything.

Sibling Rivalry

Then a third manifestation, which I'll talk about more briefly, of family issues or family problems is sibling rivalry.  It's a little more unique that even marriage, but nevertheless it is a problem and issue, whether it is the parents favoring unknowingly and unintentionally one child over another that harbors and creates resentment amongst the children for each other.

As families and parents, we have to learn to be sensitive to the strengths and weaknesses of each and every child.  Be cognizant of what is each child's needs.  If something works for one child, maybe that is not what will work for the other child.  Be cognizant of their specific needs.

Not creating and not fostering an environment of competition amongst the children where they feel they have to compete for the parents' love and approval.  I hate to bring up personal things, but I'll mention it.  Abdullah, the crazy guy running around and setting up all of the gadgetry here, is my younger brother.  From what you see here, that's exactly what you get.  I'm the one talking on the microphone and he is the one recording, editing, and uploading the videos, doing all the back-end video work, but there's not a sense of competition.  We have to learn to appreciate what everybody brings to the table.  We have to learn to respect everybody and not compete with each other in regards to what we are doing.  We need to not create an environment of competition but one of collaboration.  When we collaborate and come together, how unbelievable of a strong unit we can become as a family and siblings and brothers and sisters.

I know I'm going to date myself with this reference, but does anybody remember Voltron?  It's like Voltron.  For somebody a little younger, Captain Planet.

Solutions

What are some solutions that we can begin to implement to repair this family situation?

1.  Spirituality

I talked about this in the beginning, and I'll bring it up here again.  When we repair our relationship with Allāh – understand that our relationship with Allāh is the basis and foundation of everything in our lives.  This is something we say in the Qurʾān, this is something we say in adhkār, this is something we say in supplications and du'ā's.  That is:  “Allāh is the source of all blessings.  Allāh is the One that grants blessings.”

There are aḥadīth and traditions and narrations to the effect that when we repair our relationship with Allāh, Allāh will repair everything else.  When a person is beloved to Allāh, Allāh has what announcement made in the heavens and on the earth as well?  “Allāh says, 'I love him, so everybody else love him as well.  O Jibrīl, I love him so you love him.'  Jibrīl says, 'Allāh loves him, I love him, so all of the inhabitants of heaven love him.'”  The inhabitants of the heavens, the malā'ikah, come down to the earth and say what?  “Allāh loves him, Jibrīl loves, we love him, so therefore all of you love him or her.”

When we fix things with Allāh, Allāh will but barakah and blessings in everything else in our lives.  This is something that is very obvious.  That's why the Prophet said, “Tell your families to pray, and you be regular and punctual about prayer yourself. You be steadfast about the prayer yourself.  Tie yourself upon the prayer.”

Talking about the parent-child relationship, we have to learn to repair our relationships.  The parents must repair their relationships with Allāh.  That is why we are taught a du'ā':  “Rabbana habb lana min azwājina wa dhurriyyātina qurrata a'yun waj'alna lilmuttaqīna imāma.”  Make our spouses and our children the coolness of our eyes, and make all of us the leaders of the muttaqīn.  We have to repair spirituality – the parents and the children – and do it together as a family.  Pray together as a family.  Make du'ā'.  First fix your relationship with Allāh, and that will put barakah and blessings and start to repair the relationship with the family members.

Marriage:  In āyah 238 of Sūrat'l-Baqarah, Allāh says, “Very carefully, very cautiously, very diligently watch over the prayers.”  Do you know what is very interesting about this ayah?  Allāh mentions this ayah in the middle of a passage which talks about divorce.  In the middle of giving us advice about divorce, Allāh says, “Watch over the prayers.”  Why?  Because maybe you are having problems in your marriage because you are having problems with your relationship with Allāh.  Go back and fix your relationship with Allāh and put barakah and blessings and raḥmah and the Mercy of Allāh back into your marriage.

The houses in which Qurʾān is recited, the inhabitants of the heavens and skies have the stars shine onto the inhabitants of the earth.  Our houses become filled with nūr and barakah and blessing when we recite Qurʾān in them.  The Prophet would pray the farḍ daily prayers in the masjid.  Where would he pray his sunnah and nawāfil prayers?  In the home.  Do you know what that means for the Prophet ?  This is the masjid and that's the home.  Do you see the difference?  He would take four steps and be in his home, but he would still go and make the distinction and establish the fact that he would take those four steps, cross through the curtain, and pray in the home where the wife and family members were.  Bring spirituality back into your life, home, parent-child relationship, and marriage and see how it repairs.

When you have spirituality and a good relationship with Allāh, it makes you secure in yourself.  It gives you confidence and removes the insecurities.  The parents are not insecure about their children.  The children are not so constantly skeptical or paranoid about the parents.  Even sibling rivalry – they become secure in themselves through their relationship with Allāh.

The Prophet of Allāh was told this same point.  In Sūrah Ya Sīn, Allāh says, “Don't doubt yourself, you are most definitely from the messengers.”  It gives you that sense of security.  First spirituality needs to be re-established.  We need to fix the relationship with Allāh.  Family relationships will start to get better.

2.  Establishing Communication

The second basic step is establishing communication. If you don't have it, establish it, as awkward and as difficult as that might be.  Initially when you establish communication, it is like pulling teeth, but establish it.  If you have it, then broaden it and work on it and continue to build on it and maintain it.  Open it further.  Communication is very important.

I told you how Allāh presents certain difficult parent-child relationships in the Qurʾān.  Allāh also presents beautiful parent-child relationships in the Qurʾān.  Luqmān does what to his son?  Does he yell at him?  Does he say, “Hey, you stupid boy, come here”?  He says, “Ya bunaya,” which literally means in Arabic “my small son.”  This is an Arabic expression for saying “my dear son, my beloved son.” Like when you have a nickname for your child, when you speak to your child with love.  He talks to his child.  He is advising him, not lecturing him and not wagging his finger at him.  He is not yelling at him.  He is not scolding him and not constantly telling his son how disappointed he is in him.  He is having a conversation with his son.  “My dear son.”

Yūsuf sees a dream, a life-altering and life-changing dream.  What did he do with that dream?  Go and tell his friends?  Text message his friends?  Updates his Facebook status?  No.  He goes and talks to his father.  He says, “Ya abati (my dear, dear father),…”  He speaks to his father and communicates to his father.

The Prophet , the best husband of all times, did what?  He would communicate with his wives. 'Ā'ishah says, “I never saw anyone do more counsel and shūrah than the Prophet .  Nobody would consult in anything more – not just community affairs or religious affairs but even the affairs of the home.  He would talk to us.  He would communicate to us.”  At Ḥudaybiyyah when the Prophet was frustrated at the ṣaḥābah who were dumbfounded and speechless, he is telling them to shave their heads, sacrifice their animals, and open their iḥrām, and they were not getting up and going because they were dumbfounded and overwhelmed and almost traumatized by what happened that they have to go back without doing 'Umrah, the Prophet did what?  Who does he speak to?  His wife, Umm Salamah.  He speaks to his wife about being a prophet and the affairs of prophethood.  He communicates.  He doesn't go there and throw a fit.  “Where is my food?  Why is this place always dirty?  What is wrong with you?  Why are you looking at me like that?  What is your problem?  Why are the kids always making noise?”  He doesn't take it out on her.  He goes in there and says, “I don't know what to do.  What is wrong?  They are just not moving.”  It's not like they are not listening or not obeying.  Wa na'ūdhu billāh.  These are the ṣaḥābah .  But they are dumbfounded and traumatized.  She gives him advice, and subḥānAllāh that advice works.

The wives of the Prophet felt so comfortable openly speaking to him.  There is a famous story about Umar saying something to his wife, and his wife says, “Uh-uh.  I ain't about to do that.  I don't agree with you.”  From back in the day and old school mentality of Makkah and the Quraysh, he was like, “What?  Did you just speak back to me?”  She says, “Yes.  What's wrong with that? The Prophet doesn't mind.”  “What do you mean the Prophet doesn't mind?”  The daughter of 'Umar , Ḥafṣah, was one of the wives of the Prophet , umm'l-mu'minīn.  “She speaks emotionally and he doesn't mind.”  He says, “What?”  He rushes over there and says, “Girl, have you lost your mind?  You speak back to the Prophet of Allāh ?”  She says, “No, it's communication.  He tells us to speak our minds.  He asks us what we think about things.  He doesn't mind.”  Communication.  It helps in the parent-child relationship as we see in the example of Luqmān and Yūsuf.  It most definitely helps in a marriage.

Establishing communication.  Then paying attention to how you communicate.  In a parent-child relationship, the parent might say, “Yeah, I talk to him everyday.”  But if all you say to your child is “clean up your room,” then yes, you speak to your child everyday.  “Clean up your room.  Did you do your homework?  Why do you fail your tests?  Why are you so stupid?”  If you speak to your child, that is not enough.  How you communicate matters as well.  What do you say?  How do you speak?  Lovingly.  Kindly.

When spouses speak to each other, if everything is a sarcastic jab: “So you didn't make food today, huh?” – that is not a question, by the way.  You know that is not a question.  “Oh, so I guess you are busy today, huh?”  That is not a question.  That's a slap in the face.  Nothing good comes from communication like that.  You have to give the benefit of the doubt and be open and loving and caring and considerate.

Having credibility and understand when you start to communicate, the problem will not fix itself overnight.  One day you try to have a nice conversation:  “What's going on with you?  I hope you are doing well.  Everything is good.”  And for now you have a history of ten or fifteen years of bad communication and have one nice twenty-minute conversation and the other side is not warming up to you yet, don't be like “See, you are obviously wrong.  I tried and I was nice, and it didn't work.  See, it doesn't work.  My way works.  You don't know what you are talking about.”  It doesn't change overnight.

The Prophet of Allāh was ṣādiq'l-amīn and then he presented the message.  You have to have some credibility and establish that credibility.  You have to establish trust, and it won't happen overnight.

3.  Prioritization

Spirituality, communication, and the third area where we can work on to improve these family relationships is like what I mentioned extensively:  prioritization.  We have to put these family relationships in the right priority, and that is making time for family whether that is a parent-child relationship or a spousal relationship, make time for each other.  Even the sibling rivalry can be solved by spending time together and making time for each other.

Just as a clarification for the father who works tirelessly, and that is fine and respected, but understand that you might say, “I spend eight hours a day at home,” but you spend those eight hours a day sleeping on your face.”  That doesn't count as family time.  “You know, I come home, don't I?”  Yeah you come home, use the bathroom, and go to sleep.  That doesn't count as spending time with your spouse.  You have to spend good, quality family time with each other.  You have to make time for each other.  Put each other as a first priority.

Here comes the shocking part.  We have to redefine the boundaries of 'ibādah.  There is no guilt in spending time with family.  Yes, it should not deter you from your basic responsibilities to Allāh .  Ṣalāh is ṣalāh.  Prayer is prayer.  But at the same time we do have to redefine the boundaries of 'ibādah, of nafl (extra worship).  Having a nice, quiet intimate dinner with your spouse and having a candlelit dinner with your wife is 'ibādah.  It is a virtuous deed.  Good deed.  Reward.  Yes!  I'm not crazy.

You know when you wrestle around with your children and play with your kids – my kids are young – and play hide-and-go-seek (where my daughter constantly cheats, all the time, so when it's my turn to hide and her turn to seek, she counts while looking at me.)  Alḥamdulillāh, I've developed a lot of upper body strength.  Do you know how?  Swings.  Non-stop.  These kids never get tired. I think there's a possibility my daughters could grow up to be pilots.  They never get tired of being on a swing.  My younger one is two-years old, and the first thing she does after she wakes up in the morning is go to the backdoor because we have a swing set in the backyard, and she says, “Outside!”  That is code for “let me outside.”  She doesn't waste a lot of time and is very impatient.  If her request is not immediately obliged, then the second time, “Outside!”  And the third time, it is a straight up scream.  “Outside!!!”  Spending quality time with them.  Making time for them.  You know what?  Playing hide-and-go-seek with your kids and pushing them on the swings is an act of worship.  It is an act of 'ibādah.

The Messenger of Allāh told the ṣaḥābah that when spouses (husband and wife) experience intimacy with each other – I'm going to speak in general terms because we have a broad audience.  When a husband and wife experience intimacy with each other, physical intimacy, the Prophet of Allāh said, “It is a virtuous act.”  The ṣaḥābah were shocked just as much as you probably are.  Are you serious?  Is that for real?  The Prophet of Allāh had very simple logic.  If you were to commit the same physical act outside of a marriage, would it be a sin?  Yes.  This is an act of reward and an act of virtue in marriage.  What lesson we learn from that is engaging in the actual relationship and seeking emotional pleasure in the relationship is a virtuous act and an act of reward.

Something that is established through research and something I learned a practical lesson from my own father as a role model for me was:  My dad was very involved at the masjid and one of the founders of the masjid that we all grew up going to, and alḥamdulillāh at retirement age he was able to found another masjid in a new area we moved to.  My uncles and dad were always involved in this frontline, and māshā'Allāh alḥamdulillāh I learned from them.  But you know, one thing though?  Being on the board of the masjid, being a founder of the masjid, being involved in the da'wah activity at the masjid, it never got in the way of the family and was never put before family.  There could be a meeting going on in the masjid and my dad would get a call and he would say, “Excuse me, I'm not going to be able to make it to the meeting at the masjid.  If that gets me kicked off the board, fine then kick me off.”  My dad owned his own business, by the way.  How many people here own their own business?  A businessman knows that the job never ends.  A businessman never clocks out.  A businessman lives, eats, and sleeps his business.  But everyday there was a cut-off time for my dad.  5 o'clock, done.  Doors closed, the phone goes off.  “You'll pay extra if I come right now?  It's okay, I guess I'll just see you tomorrow.  You're going to go to somebody else?  Then I guess you'll go to somebody else.   My rizq is given by Allāh.  I'm not going to sacrifice my family.”  5 o'clock everyday.  Then he came home and sat with us, talked to us, played with us, helped us with our homework.  Then we ate dinner together as a family.  Then when dinner was done, he went for ṣalāt'l-'ishā'at the masjid and I went with him.  But that was every single day.  Nothing would get in the way of that.  Not the business, not the meeting at the masjid, not the da'wah activity, nothing.  Family first.

We have to learn that prioritization and that attitude, redefining these boundaries of 'ibādah and worship and understanding what's important.  It's very, very important that we understand what's important.

The Center for Substance Abuse and Addiction at Columbia University published research and Time magazine ran the story in June 2006.  I recommend you go and look it up and read it.  It talks about how families and homes where they eat one meal together every single day are happier, healthier homes and families because they spend quality time together.

One of the recommendations that I mentioned from the Qurʾān is praying ṣalāh together.  Merge family time and spirituality together.  When you are going to go to the park, pray ẓuhr and then head out to the park.  You are going to go for ice cream?  Pray  'ishā' and then go out for ice cream.  Merge these together and create a positive association.  That is how you can do tarbiyah with your family and children and instill the dīn within your children.  Eating meals together brings the hearts together.

4. Expressing Love & Appreciation

The fourth area that we can work on is expressing love and appreciation for each other.  There is no such thing as showing too much love.  Expectations have its place, rules and boundaries have their place.  I'm not talking about that.  We confuse love with those things.  Have discipline, have boundaries, have limitations, have rules, have consequences.  Have all of that, but express love.  Tell your children how much you love them.  Tell your spouse how much you love them.  Show appreciation.  Don't just have appreciation.  “Oh, but I do appreciate you.  Do I have to show it?  Do I have to buy you flowers?”  Yes, you do!  Do you have to take her out for a nice meal?  Yes.  Do I have to tell you how much I love you, and do I have to hug and kiss you?  Yes!  Very, very, very important!

I understand that this breaks certain cultural taboos.  In certain cultures, its awkward and strange for a father to tell his children “I love you” when they put them to bed at night and when they wake up in the morning and when they salām. “Al-salāmu 'alaykum.  How are you guys doing?  Everything is ok?  I love you guys.”  I know that it seems awkward or taboo in certain cultures, but again, I go back to the very first point that I made, you have to understand where you children are coming from.  You have to understand human expectations and in the parent-child relationship and marital relationship, expressing love and appreciation.

5. Make Du'ā'

The last and final point I'll make here:  make du'ā'.  Never forget to make du'ā'.  Allāh taught us a comprehensive du'ā':  “Rabbana habb lana min azwājina wa dhurriyyātina qurrata a'yun waj'alna lilmuttaqīna imāma.”   Coolness of the eyes.  Do you know what coolness of the eyes means?  It is an ancient Arabic expression.  To understand an expression sometimes, you have to look at them and understand them from the perspective of the people who used that expression.  You have to understand it from their perspective.  The ancient Arabs would say this.  You guys living in Arizona will be able to relate to this.  Imagine the summer time in the middle of the desert.   It is 120 degrees outside, but imagine you don't have these comfortable buildings and structures.  Imagine you don't have air conditioning and fans.  You are out there in the middle of the desert in the scorching heat.  Hot winds are blowing the hot sand into your eyes.  Even now with air conditioning and everything that you have, sometimes in the summer how dry do your eyes get?  How irritated do your eyes become, and how much do they itch?  Imagine being out in the desert without all this luxury and experiencing that.  Your eyes feel like they are on fire.  Your eyes feel like you want to rip them out and scratch them until they are gone.  Then you come across some cool, clean water, and you take that water and splash it into your eyes and on your face.  How refreshing and invigorating and how amazing that would feel.

We are saying, “O Allāh, when I look at my spouse, when I look at my children, make it feel like I just splashed cool, clean water in my eyes and face.  Refresh me.  And make all of us from the muttaqīn imams and leaders of the most pious and righteous.  Make us role models for generations to come.”

In connection with this, these are just like I said initially, some topics and concerns that have been on my mind for a long, long time. As you see from the context of the Qurʾān and sīrah and ḥadīth of the Prophet , this is a very core concept of our religion and faith and this is a basic human need and concern. Alḥamdulillāh, this is just a short conversation that I wanted to share.  This is part of a larger project that I am embarking on through Qalam Institute.  We are going to have a traveling program called Happiness in the Home where we will be traveling around the country to different communities and have a full seminar talking about some of these concerns and implementing more practical solutions so we can better the condition and situation of families throughout our communities, inshā'Allāh.

These are just some thoughts and things that I wanted to share with the community here today.  Again I want to thank you for being patient and listening and being attentive.  I hope and I pray that this was a source of benefit for everyone.  Jazākum Allāh khayran.

May Allāh accept from all of us and give us the ability to practice that which we have heard.  Al-salāmu 'alaykum wa raḥmatullāh.

الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

At this time of year the stores are pushing their sales at us. Advertising is everywhere. There if a frenzy to buy, buy, buy. Let's realize that as Muslims this is not our way of life. The consumerist madness is a deception. There's no joy or peace attached to it. It's a shallow illusion.

Look at what society has done to itself in the name of consumerism. A day of thanks (Thanksgiving) has become the prelude to “Black Friday”, the biggest shopping day of the year. It used to be that Black Friday did not begin until Friday morning, out of respect for Thanksgiving. Then the starting gun was moved to midnight, and now it has crept into Thursday evening. Nothing is sacred.

The Prophet 'Īsa ibn Maryam (Jesus the son of Mary), peace be upon him, has been turned into a marketing strategy. His purported birthday celebration has become a month of shopping insanity, presided over by a mythical sub-deity named Santa. People go into debt, they fight over sale goods… No mention is made of faith.

We cannot follow this path. Our way is sacrifice, zakāh (purification), ṣadaqah (charity), zuḥd (giving up material luxury). We don't have to be monks, but we must focus on the things that matter: faith and family.

The faith in our hearts is more important than the brand name of the clothes we wear. Where our feet carry us – to someplace good or bad – is more important than the cost of our shoes. The sincerity in our hearts is more important than any gift. May Allāh help us to see what is important in life.

The Enjoyment of Delusion

There's a powerful verse from the Bible, Proverbs 30:8-9:

Give me neither poverty nor riches,
grant me only my share of bread to eat,
for fear that surrounded by plenty, I should fall away
and say, “Yahweh – who is Yahweh?”
or else in destitution, take to stealing
and profane the name of my God.

(Yahweh is an ancient Hebrew name for God).

If you visit the shopping malls at Christmas time, and read the news stories of people lining up from the night before,  huddling in sleeping bags in order to buy the latest gadgets, then trampling each other in the rush; if you turn on the TV to the usual Christmas comedies and “Frosty the Snowman” cartoons, you see that God has been forgotten and has even become taboo. It's not politically correct to speak of God. Just watch what we broadcast, be hypnotized by our Christmas elevator music, buy and forget…

Allāh says about this:

“Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allāh and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.” – Qurʾān, Sūrat'l-Ḥadīd, 57:20

This theme is struck repeatedly in the Qurʾān. The amusement and adornment of the dunya is an illusion that dries up and crumbles like a corn stalk, and becomes dust. It is empty, the enjoyment of delusion. Wow. That phrase, “enjoyment of delusion”, makes me think of a madman alone in a room, tied in a straight jacket, engaged in a pleasant delusion playing only in his mind.

I know people who have a bedroom devoted to all the junk that they have bought but do not use. They never enter that room and the door is kept locked. Isn't that a kind of mental illness?

Gratitude

How do we resist the onslaught of the season? How do we remember Allāh?

The greatest tool in our toolbox is gratitude. By looking at what we've been blessed with, our hearts become content. Socrates commented that contentment is natural wealth, while luxury is artificial poverty. Contentment does not mean complacency or passivity; it refers to a state of awareness of our blessings, and gratitude for the smallest to the greatest provisions – from the tiniest cells in our bodies, to the grand earth itself.

Let's become aware of what we have: the food on our plates, our ability to see and hear, the love and health of our families, sanity, intelligence, knowledge… these things are huge. When we open our eyes and start to see, then we become content and happy, and we see how meaningless are things are like big-screen TVs, the latest smartphone, or another new dress.

Let's remember Allāh the Eternal, and think of our ākhirah (hereafter). While others are are hungering for more, let's be grateful for what we have, and give.

Our local Muslim community center here in Fresno participates in feeding the poor at soup kitchens and is currently organizing a winter blanket and coat drive for the homeless. I encourage every Muslim community to do something similar. Get Muslim adults and children involved in the process of giving, whether to needy Muslims or non-Muslims.

It's liberating to ignore the sales and seasonal hype. When we abandon the idea of acquiring goods, and instead focus on giving, we dump the whole propaganda machine on its head. We change everything. While the frantic buying of “stuff” makes us forget Allāh, gratitude brings us back to Him. That's why Allāh brings together gratitude and remembrance of Allāh:

“So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.”
- Qurʾān, Sūrat'l-Baqarah, 2:152

Being grateful to Allāh means that our hearts become filled with love for Him; our bodies are obedient to Him; our tongues praise Him; we receive His favors with humility; we thank Him for everything we have received; and we use what He has given us for good. We could never repay Allāh. The least we can do is thank him.

By being grateful and separating ourselves from the consumerist craziness, we set an example of how to live without avarice. We free our spirits, remove a burden from our backs, and shine a light for ourselves and others.

Every morning when we rise from our sleep and open our eyes, we see the roof and walls of our room, we see our spouse and children (if we're married and/or have children), and I am sure that parents can not even begin to describe the coolness that they feel in their eyes upon seeing their children.

Yet, how many of us have ever reflected upon how great a blessing these eyes are? How many of us have felt a sense of gratitude for this tremendous favor of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla)? Unfortunately, not many of us, as Allāh (SWT) mentions in Sūrat'l-Mulk, verse 23:

“Say it is He Who has created you, and endowed you with hearing (ears), seeing (eyes), and hearts. Little thanks you give.”

In Sūrat'l-A'rāf, our greatest enemy the 'Shayṭān' accuses Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) saying:

“(Iblîs) said: 'Because You have sent me astray, surely I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your Straight Path (16) Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).'”

The Shayṭān, after mentioning his evil strategy to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla), declares his ultimate objective, that he will cause most of mankind to be ungrateful to Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla). And in pursuit of his mission, he has injected a virus not only in the non-believers, but in most of the Muslims which is called the “If I only had…” virus.

This virus causes a person to always say, 'If I only had more money, I would be more pious'. 'If I only had my own house, I would spend more in the path of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla)'. 'If I only had a better car, more sons, more wealth, etc.…' and the list goes on and on.

As a result of this virus, we are constantly focused on what we do not have instead of being thankful for the things which we do have.

This is why Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) has constantly reminded us to be thankful to Him in the Holy Qurʾān, and has revealed approximately 70 verses mentioning the importance of 'shukr' (thankfulness or gratefulness) in the Qurʾān.

Our beloved Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) has guided us on how we can protect ourselves from becoming infected with this virus. Whenever such evil thoughts from the whispers of Shayṭān arise within us, we should not look towards those people who are more blessed than us in the worldly things which we crave; rather we should look towards those people who do not have the worldly possessions which Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) has bestowed upon us.

Have you ever wondered how spacious the home of Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam), the mercy to all mankind, was? It was so spacious that when our Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) used to go down into sujūd, our mother 'Ā'ishah used to have to fold her legs in order to give him space to place his head. Yet, in spite of all this, when Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) used to stand for “Qiyām ul layl”, he would stand for so long that his feet would become swollen. And when he was asked why he stands for so long, he replied,

“Should I not be a thankful slave?”

Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) has divided people into two categories as revealed in Sūrat'l-Insān, verse 3:

“Verily, We showed him the way, whether he be grateful or ungrateful”

Furthermore, in Sūrah Ibrāhīm verse 7, Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) declares that if we show gratefulness to Him, He will shower more blessings upon us; however, if we show ungratefulness, then we are deserving of severe punishment:

“And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: 'If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshiping none but Allāh), I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily! My Punishment is indeed severe.'

So whenever Shayṭān attacks one of us with the “If I only had…” virus, we should always remember the above mentioned verses and seek refuge in Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla). Furthermore, we should also bring to mind the tremendous sacrifices and accomplishments of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) and our pious predecessors despite their severe lacking in worldly means.

Finally, I would request all our readers to think about all those blessings of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla) which we may have forgotten about and share these with others.  This will help us to become more thankful, grateful slaves of Allāh (subḥānahu wa ta'āla).

When I lie in bed at night, that's when it all hits me. It comes gradually at first, like a soft yet steady hum. Like a toothache, it starts with a dull pain. Soon however, it becomes as if it were a full-fledged headache. I become entangled in its snares before I even realize it. My mind is spinning like a 45 on the turntable of unreality. Thoughts fly this way and that, sometimes crashing into the sides of my head, then returning with even more stamina. And all the while, I lie there, my eyes seeing only darkness but my mind knowing no rest.

Frustrated I throw back the covers and flip on the bedside lamp. The warm glow of a candle illuminates the cheetah motif of the lampshade. My soul feels comforted. The thoughts vanish tucking their tails between their legs. All is seemingly normal. I breathe a sigh of relief and try once again to immerse myself in sleep. I even switch sides for the clean slate effect. But once again, my attempt is futile. It all rushes back the moment my eyes shut and a million vividly disturbing imaginings break loose from temporary cages.

“They don't really like you, it's all a facade.”

“You looked so nice in that picture, I wonder if they thought you were pretty.”

“Why haven't they spoken to you for a while? You must have really done it this time.”

“Stop!” An overwhelming thought suddenly blots out all the rest. “You're all liars! They love me, they're just busy. I know I'm pretty because that boy said I was. Remember him? From Facebook?”

Ah, yes my mind is finally working properly. It has carefully sifted out what I want to hear, the supreme truth of the matters which hinder my slumber. Or at least, what suits my whims and fancies. The rest is simply 'mind junk'. I should have known all along.

Sleep soon overtakes me, but it does not last long. I am suddenly standing in a scene anew. Startled, I take account of my environment. My bedroom has faded away, the comfy pillow no longer cradles my head. The stupor of sleep has vanished and I feel more alert than ever before. The atmosphere around me is one of urgency and the mood is intense. I shudder. I look around and find myself surrounded by faces looking on in awe. I reach out to touch an arm, it retracts. I grab a hand, it slithers out of my grasp. Breaking out in a cold sweat, I too begin to imitate the hushed, anxious crowd. I know where I am now. This is the Day of Judgment.

My mind is once again set to full speed, but this time its thoughts are of a different nature altogether. Each thought consumes the expanse of my mind, first in loudness and then in absolute yelling.

“What have you prepared for this?”

“Did you even try to get ready?”

“WHAT HAVE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS!?”

I slowly become a crumpled heap on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. I have prepared nothing. Not enough dhikr. Not enough du'ā'. Not enough worship. In fact, the very thought of preparation had somehow eluded me, gotten lost somewhere in a mass of trivial pursuits. That was the one path my mind had not traversed, but which I now so desperately needed. I feel too weak to ward off a last minute whispering.

“I bet THEY will help you.”

Yes, that's it! I had done everything I possibly could to please them during life on the earthly plane. Many a time I had had to silence the voice of reason that would try to stop me. As long as they were happy with me, my life was complete. With new determination I rise and scan the crowd looking for a familiar face. It is no easy task, but whenever I spot one, I rush headlong to it, hands waving wildly. Much to my dismay, I get dismal responses each time. Some ignore me, a look of sheer indifference making them almost unrecognizable. Some walk swiftly away into oblivion in the same instant that I touch their shoulder. Soon, I find myself alone. The crowd has gradually marched away from me, rank upon rank. As my body helplessly falls forward, no longer able to support itself, I recall something. A verse. I had once read it, perhaps a Ramaḍān or two ago when I had ever bothered to peek into the Qurʾān. And as my body falls further and further into the unknown, the crowd still looking on, it flows through my veins, grabs the reins of my mind, pulsates through my heart, and consumes my soul.

“No bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another.”

And then I open my eyes. My head is cradled by a comfy pillow. I bolt upright, gasping for air and looking around. I see the familiar scenes; a curtained window to my right and a nightstand supporting a cheetah print lamp to my left. I rub my eyes and take a look at the bedside digital clock. 4:45 AM. Emerging from the covers, my feet touch the cold, hardwood floor. I shiver my way to the bathroom, turn on the tap, and start undoing Satan's knots, one by one. I slip on my prayer clothes, grateful for the warmth they provide and assume my position on my dark red prayer mat. In the stillness of the night I invoke my Lord. Every body, every face gradually marches away, rank upon rank and I feel myself flying higher and higher. I feel myself radiating light beyond the realms of human comprehension. I am alone, alone with the only One. Stray musings attempt to extinguish my light. But, an overwhelming thought suddenly blots out all the rest.

“Don't think. Just pray.”

Chapter 2: Repentance

16. Abu Mūsa Al-Ash'ari (may Allāh be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: “All, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west”. [Muslim].

17.  Abu Hurayrah  (raḍyAllāhu 'anhu) narrated: Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, “He who repents before the sun rises from the west, Allāh will forgive him”. [Muslim].

18. 'Abdullāh bin 'Umar bin Al-Khattab  (raḍyAllāhu 'anhu) reported that: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allāh accepts a slave's repentance as long as the latter is not on his death bed (that is, before the soul of the dying person reaches the throat)”. [Al-Tirmidhi, who categorized it as ḥadīth Hasan].

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen may Allāh have mercy on him says in his explanation of these aḥadīth:

These three aḥadīth which the author had mentioned, may Allāh have mercy on him, are all related to repentance.

As for the ḥadīth of Abu Mūsa, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: “Allāh, the Exalted, will continue to stretch out His Hand in the night so that the sinners of the day may repent, and continue to stretch His Hand in the daytime so that the sinners of the night may repent, until the sun rises from the west”.

It is from the Generosity of Allāh, Glorified and Exalted, that He accepts (one's) repentance even if it is late.  So if the person commits a sin during the day, then Allāh ta'āla accepts his repentance even if he repents at night.  Similarly, if the person sins at night and then repents during the day then Allāh ta'āla accepts his repentance. In fact, He, Almighty, stretches His Hand to receive this repentance from His believing servant.

In this ḥadīth there is evidence that Allāh, subḥānahu wa ta'āla, loves repentance, and we have already mentioned in the previous ḥadīth -the story of the man who lost his camel and then found it- that Allāh is more happy with the repentance of His believing servant when he repents to Him than the man who had found his lost camel.

From the benefits of the ḥadīth of Abu Mūsa is the affirmation that Allāh ta'āla has a Hand.  Rather, He has two Hands, subḥānahu wa ta'āla, as He said:

“The Jews say: “Allāh's hand is tied up.” Be their hands tied up and be they accursed for the (blasphemy) they utter. Nay, both His Hands are widely outstretched.” [Sūrat'l-Mā'idah 5:64]. This Hand which Allāh has affirmed for Himself- rather, the two Hands- we are required believe in them, and the fact that they are affirmed for Allāh.
However, it is not permissible for us to imagine that they are like our hands, because Allāh says in His Book:

There is nothing whatever like unto Him, and He is the Hearer, the Seer [Al-Shu'arā' 42:11], Hence, everything you come across from the attributes of Allāh then affirm it for Allāh, subḥānahu wa ta'āla, without comparing it to the attributes of the creation, because there is nothing like Allāh, neither in relation to His essence nor to His attributes, subḥānahu wa ta'āla.
From the benefits of this ḥadīth: is that Allāh, subḥānahu wa ta'āla, accepts the repentance of the servant even if it is late. However, hastening to repent is obligatory, since a person does not know, for death may surprise him and he dies before repenting. So the obligation is to hasten (to repent), but even if it is delayed, Allāh will accept the repentance of His servant.

In this ḥadīth (of Abu Hurayrah) there is evidence that once the sun rises from the west, the (time for) acceptance of repentance is over. But, a questioner may ask, 'does the sun rise from the west? It is known that the sun rises from the east!'
To this we say: Yes, this (the sun rising from the East) is what is known, and this has been the case ever since Allāh created it until this day of ours.  However, towards the end of times Allāh will command the sun to go back from where it came so (its) cycle will be inverted and it will rise from the West, and when the people see it they will all believe, even the disbelievers (such as) the Jews, Christians, Buddhists, Communists, and others, they will all believe.  However, the one who did not believe before the sun rises from the West then his belief will not benefit him.
Everyone will repents as well, but the repentance of one who did not repent before the sun rises from the West will not be accepted, because this Sign will be witnessed by everyone, and once the Warning Signs arrive then neither repentance nor belief shall be of any benefit!

As for the ḥadīth of 'Abdullāh bin Umar: “Allāh accepts a slave's repentance as long as the latter is not on his death bed”, meaning: as long as the soul has not reached the throat. But if the soul has reached the throat then there is no repentance, as per His saying:

(And repentance is not for those who go on doing evil deeds, until when death comes to one of them, he says: Surely now I repent) [Sūrat'l-Nisā' 4:18].

So upon you, O my fellow Muslim, is to hasten to repent to Allāh 'azza wa jal from your sins, and to desist from what you have been entangled with from disobedience, and to perform what you have been neglecting from the obligations, and to ask Allāh to accept your repentance.

And Allāh is the source of success.

Translation By Ibn Riaz:

بسـم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By Shaykh Ṣāliḥ al-Maghāmasī

I know of a man from Egypt who performed Ḥajj 32 years ago in his youth. He, at the time, was riding in a nine-passenger vehicle. In the front seats were a husband and wife. Behind them was a woman very old in age who, due to the congestion inside, was in an uncomfortable position, and her age and body's condition didn't help the situation any better. So, the man who I know tried to convince the man in the front to switch seats with the old woman so that she could be up front. He refused, but this man kept on pushing him to do it until he finally accepted.  The husband ended up going to the back seat and the old woman was able to sit up front. When the old woman felt relaxed and was able to extend her legs she said to this man, in her local dialect, what means, “May Allāh not prevent you from Ḥajj every year.”

This man has performed Ḥajj until now—and I know him—for 32 years. 32 pilgrimages since she supplicated for him that year! Sometimes a new year comes and the time of Ḥajj approaches, but he doesn't have the money or even the intention to perform it. Yet, without any notice, he's led to perform Ḥajj by the blessing of that woman's supplication.

`Alī (may Allāh be pleased with him) said, “Allāh has concealed two within two: He has concealed His pleasure in righteous acts, so one does not know which righteous act of his pleases Allāh; and He has concealed His awliyā' amongst His servants, so one does not know which servant of Allāh is His walī.”

The point here: perform good deeds and desire for them to be sincerely for Allāh's Sake. Perhaps you'll do something for someone who is unknown amongst the people—which is better—and his supplications are answered. In turn, he supplicates for you and prosperity is decreed for you while you don't know from where it came. However, Allāh bestowed His loving Mercy upon you and made an easy way for you to reach your goal. May Allāh allow for us to attain that which He loves through our good deeds.

May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muḥammad and his family, and all praises are due to Allāh, Lord of the Worlds.

At the Maqam e Ibrāhīm:

I held on to the golden bars trying to keep my balance, with my nose pressed against the blurry glass screen smeared with many a finger mark. I bolstered up my wits and finally decided to look: footprints in the sands of time, etched into the sacred earth forever by Divine Decree- blessed, immortalized. Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām) had stood up and stood out. His standing was an act of worship and intense adoration, an act of courage, resistance, strength, integrity, dignity and true heroism. He laid the foundations of this modest little structure that stands in the heart of Makkah like an immense magnet drawing to itself millions who strive to stand in its shade. In its humble construction, shorn of all grandeur and ostentation, it inspires an inexplicable awe and reverence; giving direction and focus, unifying, holding together, reminding. Ibrāhīm's was a labor of love. The builders had prayed, “Our Lord! Accept this from us! Indeed You are the Hearing, the Knowing. Our Lord! Make us Muslims [in submission] to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation [in submission] to You.” (2:128)

Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām) had questioned, wondered, reflected. He had thirsted for the Truth and sought the Light that rends all shrouding darkness. He had refused ordinariness, refused to follow the crowd- stood up and stood out, facing the winds alone. He had Loved-truly, settling for nothing lesser than the perfection, wholeness, sublimity of Al-Ḥaqq (The Truth). In the darkness of the night he beheld the shining star, and in his very human search for the Object of the deepest Love the human heart is capable of, he said, “'This is my Lord.' But when it set, he said, 'I do not love those who fade away.'”(6:77) He had loved passionately through hardship, suffering and trial, and attained the Pleasure of Allāh, so that the place of his standing- this stone I beheld through the blurry screen- became sacred, hallowed ground; the endeavor of his hands and limbs became a ritual of worship observed by billions here forevermore.

Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām) had stood alone to confront and expose falsehood that his innate fiṭrah had rejected, all the while 'seeking the Face of His Lord.' He was sensitive and honest to the Divine Essence breathed into the heart of man, which testifies to Monotheism. Today, as I look around at this immense unending crowd vying to stand where he stood, seeking to be honored by walking the path he walked, I am educated in the meaning of leadership.

While on the theme of leadership, there cannot be a legacy more venerable, more awe-inspiring, powerful and enduring. Some wise old man said something to the effect that when you stand up for the truth against the odds, the whole universe conspires in your favor, because that truth you strive to establish is written in the heart of the earth; it is destiny.

The man whose footprint I beheld is acknowledged as the spiritual progenitor in all monotheistic traditions. Islam claims a direct link with Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām) not through race or geography but primarily on account of theology, as its simple Monotheism  of 'La ilaha ilallah' (no god but Allāh) is the 'Way of your father Abraham' (22:78).

Catching a Glimpse of Jabal Nūr in the distance…

Years passed and the heart and mind of man was clouded again by ignorance while Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām)'s legacy existed only as dusty remnants and soulless rituals. From the shadows of jāhiliyyah (Ignorance) emerged again a soul restive in search of the Whole Truth, refusing these untruths and half truths, attentive to the inner voice that had impelled Ibrāhīm's struggle. It was convinced that the Truth lay waiting to be discovered. Not far from the Ka'bah stands Jabal Nūr, the Mountain of Light… Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) ascended its steep, stony incline to isolate himself from a society that had lost its discrimination of right and wrong, in order to contemplate the truth, seek out answers and pray to the One God of Ibrāhīm ('alayhi'l-salām). Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam), the devoted follower of Ibrāhīm's ('alayhi'l-salām) honest creed was chosen to lead, and Jabal Nūr irradiated the world with God's final revelation.

From Makkah to Madīnah

I am on the way from Makkah- the native city of Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam)- to Madīnah where he had sought refuge. While reclining on the cushioned seat of an air-conditioned bus, I gaze outside to see rugged mountains and a forbidding, hostile landscape- barren and treeless, with the desert sun mercilessly streaming down red hot. Roughly 1431 years ago, Muhammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) and his followers had made the same journey in conditions as different from my journey today as possible- on foot, with and sometimes without bare essentials of life; ragged, penniless, shelter-less, fearing for their lives yet led on by one conviction- their hope and trust in the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth, the Owner of Destiny.

We often want 'proof' to vindicate faith: What can possibly account for this madness to leave hearth and home and traverse the hostile land in fear, hunger, pain and hardship seeking the Unseen? What can explain this passion, extraordinary resolve, grand sacrifice, courage, hope and belief that the Truth is destined to triumph? What can explain this limitless capacity to go on enduring trial and hardship not yielding an inch? What can explain giving up all seeking an ideal, an unseen God? Faith answers where reason fails.

In his work 'Khutbaat Haram', Abul 'Ala Maududi records when the Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) sat against the wall of the Ka'bah in the early days of Islam when his few followers were being oppressed and tortured in vile ways. Khabab bin Al Aratt (raḍyAllāhu 'anhu), who had suffered severe persecution for his faith, approached the Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) in pain and desperation, asking him to beg Allāh for relief. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) replied, “This task will be fulfilled, O Khubaib, till a time comes when the traveler shall go from Sana'a to Hadrmout without fear or worry (meaning, peace will be established in the land through Islam). But it is you who turn impatient.” This hope in the darkest of times sprang from faith and trust in Allāh, and mankind witnessed its fulfilment.

Standing up to pray in the shade of the green dome of the Prophet's (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) mosque in Madīnah, I was reminded of that early surah revealed to the Prophet  at one of the lowest points in his life when he had been rejected and ridiculed:  “By the forenoon (after sun-rise); And by the night when it is still (or darkens); Your Lord (O Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) has neither forsaken you nor hated you. And indeed the Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world). And verily, your Lord will give you (all i.e. good) so that you shall be well-pleased. Did He not find you (O Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) an orphan and gave you a refuge? And He found you unaware and guided you? And He found you poor, and made you rich (self sufficient with self contentment, etc.)? Therefore, treat not the orphan with oppression, And repulse not the beggar; And proclaim the Grace of your Lord (i.e. the Prophethood and all other Graces).” (Chapter 93)

“And whose word could be truer than Allāh's?” (4:82)

Circumambulating the Ka'bah

This day I stand, a speck among these millions all moving on as wavelets of a shore-less ocean around the Center, their whispered prayers merging into a chorus: “Glory be to You! All Praise and Thanks are to You! There is no god except Allāh; Allāh is great! There is no power or might except with Allāh.” They all move forward yet are bound to the core, all seeking One Goal, One Direction. The ocean never recedes, never dwindles; from the far corners of the earth they come to witness this extraordinary legacy, to live this miracle, to stand where Ibrāhīm had stood, walk where Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) had walked-and be inheritors and sharers in the great legacy preserved, revived, immortalized by the Lord of the Ka'bah: “Hence, [O Muḥammad,] proclaim thou unto all people the pilgrimage: they will come unto thee on foot and on every [kind of] fast mount, coming from every far-away point [on earth]…” (22:27)

As I merge into the endless moving circle, I am enveloped by a sense of peace that reaches the innermost recesses of my being. For an instant all pain and fear drowns into the power and magic of the moment, and a swoon of blissful oblivion envelops me-all is here and now. I rise, I float, I fly-like those midget-birds that forever circle the azure skies around the Ka'bah, daylong, nightlong- a labor of Love.

There are also moments of intense self-awareness when you are struck by the realization of how unworthy you are of the honor to be here, how undeserving to set foot on this sacred earth. Witnessing the manifestations of His Glory, you become conscious of the darkness in your heart and soul, you feel a crushing shame that suffocates you… but like the winds bearing good news of the torrent, Hope in His Mercy comes to liberate. For, the Mercy of the One who brought you here is greater, so all encompassing. The feeling is reassuring as you rise above regret and shame onto the wings of hope and bask in the comfort of the knowledge that His mercy and forgiveness supersedes His wrath. “If it were not for Allāh's grace and mercy on you and that Allāh is Oft-Returning Full of Wisdom (ye would be ruined indeed).”(24:10)

The Victory:

I look at this gigantic mass of people of all shades and colors, these followers all sweat drenched, tear stained, barefoot, and I know this is the 'Clear Victory.'(48:1) I know this is the 'Fount of Abundance': “To you (O Muḥammad!) have We granted the Fount of Abundance. So pray to your Lord, and sacrifice. Surely, he who bears rancor against you shall be severed (from all future hope).” (Chapter 108)

And again:

“Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muḥammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam)? And removed from you your burden which weighed down your back? And raised high your fame? So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief. So when you have finished (from your occupation), then stand up for Allāh's worship (i.e. stand up for prayer). And to your Lord (Alone) turn (all your intentions and hopes and) your invocations.” (Chapter 94)

On Leadership

Ibrāhīm and Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) followed their inner voice and the Command of the Lord they recognized humbly and resolutely. They lead in their following, and present the highest level of leadership humanly possible- a leadership of a holistic nature rooted in the heart and soul, springing from it and seeking to purify and satiate it; enunciating a veritable Way of Life followed today by billions as a matter of faith shaping individual lives, societies, economies and politics. Michael H. Hart, choosing Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) to top his list of 100 greatest people in human history wrote: “My choice of Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) to lead the best of the world's most influential persons may surprise some readers and may be questioned by others, but he was the only man in history who was supremely successful on both the religious and secular levels. Of humble origins, Muḥammad founded and promulgated one of the world's great religions, and became an immensely effective political leader.  Today thirteen centuries after his death, his influence is still powerful and pervasive. The majority of the persons in this book had the advantage of being born and raised in centers of civilization, highly cultured or politically pivotal nations. Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam), however, was born in the year 570, in the city of Mecca, in southern Arabia, at that time a backwards area of the world, far from the centers of trade, art and learning.  Orphaned at the age of six, he was reared in modest surroundings.  Islamic tradition tells us that he was illiterate… When Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) died in 632, he was the effective ruler of all of Arabia… The rapid spread of Islam continued after the demise of Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam)… By 711, North Africa, to the Atlantic Ocean, then the Visigoth Kingdom of Spain . . . stretching from the boarders of India to the Atlantic Ocean, Islam was the largest empire that the world had yet seen”.

The Farewell

I walk away from the Ka'bah turning to look back at the silent, circling sea I have been a droplet of, moving gently, eternally in the shade of this small landmark that wears an unexplainable, immeasurable awe, majesty and power. It still draws to itself to elevate, honor and bless. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and with an already rising nostalgia I will have to live with: “The lovers of Your faith shall never dwindle, even while I- fleeting creature of an hour receding into the dust, am no more among those forever treading the Path of Love.”

Amina Saeed of the UAE had always dreamed of making an achievement in Islamic studies, so she decided to memorise the Quran and participate in international contests to fulfill her dream.

Motivated by her 25 brothers and sisters, who memorise parts of Quran, she outperformed them and managed to memorise the entire holy book in just 100 days.

The 19-year-old Amina, a student at the Sharjah college of Shariah and Islamic studies, then travelled to Jordan to participate in an international Quran memorisation contest. Amina was sure she would excess in the contest but had not expected she would outperform all other participants from 15 countries.

“I got the top position in the contest in Jordan and I am proud to make this achievement for my country,” she said, quoted by 'Emarat Al Youm' daily.

“I had always wanted to memorise the Quran and I was encouraged by the fact that all my 25 bothers and sisters, who are older than me, memorise parts of the holy book…I have spent an average 12 hours a day in an intensive Quran memorisation course until I memorised it all in just 100 days.”

Amina said she had already won second and third prizes in local contests but added that her biggest achievement was that she snatched the top position in the Amman contest, which was attended by scores of Muslims from 15 nations.

“I used to memorise parts of the Quran when I was a child at schools in Dubai…when I became 17 years old, I decided it was time to memorise all the holy book…I succeeded in doing so in just 100 days and was ahead of all my brothers and sisters and their children, who all memorise parts of the Quran.”Amina said she would keep reading the Quran daily to maintain her ability to control every word in the holy book, which has 114 suras (chapters), comprising more than 6,300 Ayat (sentences) that include in excess of 77,000 words.

Inspired? Please read:

Allāh-interview-with-ustadhah-kareema-czerepinski/">Memorizing the Book of Allāh

Allāh-interview-with-ustadhah-kareema-czerepinski/">How to Memorize Quran

Thirteen Steps to Memorizing the Quran

Do you think any of the Prophets felt ready when they were chosen? The Messenger of Allāh Muhammad (sws) received the first revelation, then ran home and hid under a blanket. The Prophet Musa (as) was confused and frightened when he entered the valley and heard a voice commanding him:

“Verily! I am your Lord! So take off your shoes, you are in the sacred valley, Tuwa. And I have chosen you. So listen to that which is inspired to you. Verily! I am Allāh! La ilaha illa Ana (none has the right to be worshipped but I), so worship Me, and perform As-ṣalāh (Iqamat-as-ṣalāh) for My Remembrance. Verily, the Hour is coming and My Will is to keep it hidden that every person may be rewarded for that which he strives. Therefore, let not the one who believes not therein (i.e. in the Day of Resurrection, Reckoning, Paradise and Hell, etc.), but follows his own lusts, divert you therefrom, lest you perish.” (Quran, Surat Taha, 12-16)

When Musa threw the staff down and it became a snake, again he was frightened. Allāh directed him to have courage, and pick it up, and when he touched it, it was restored to its former shape. When he was commanded to go to Egypt to free the Israelites and reform his people, he felt unready for this mission. He had a speech impediment and was afraid that he would not be able to speak convincingly. He sought permission from Allāh to take his brother and fellow Prophet Harun (as), who was an eloquent speaker. Permission was granted.

This illustrates another important point – that everyone needs a wingman sometimes. We're not always strong enough to do it alone. Sometimes we need a friend, an ally, a supportive spouse, just one person who believes in our mission and is willing to help, or just put an arm around our shoulders and say, “I believe in you.” If you have someone like that, he or she is a treasure and a secret weapon.

When it comes to the most important things in life, no one is ever ready. All you can do is stand tall, build a bonfire of resolve in your heart, and move. The time to do what you dream is now. Consider Abu Bakr (ra), who clearly knew how to embrace opportunities. When he saw the slave Bilal (ra) being tortured, he bought him from Umayyah bin Khalaf and freed him. He freed many other oppressed Muslim slaves in the same way. When Abu Bakr's father saw this, he said: “My son, why are you buying these weak slaves then freeing them? Why don't you at least keep them so that you can make use out of them?” Abu Bakr replied: “My father, I am only doing this to seek the Countenance of Allāh.”

The Messenger of Allāh (sws) told us that a man was granted Paradise for removing a thorny branch from the path. A prostitute was forgiven all her sins and granted Jannah for giving a thirsty dog a drink of water. Another man was granted a house in Paradise for donating a date tree to a poor family.

No good deed is insignificant, for it could be the grain of sand that tips the scale and saves you. No worthy project is too small, nor is it too large if you start with a single step, focusing only on executing that step well. When I face a large project, whether website development, writing, or cleaning a kitchen mess, I tend to get overwhelmed. So I narrow my focus and I tell myself, just do one thing. I do the one thing, then pick one more thing, and another, then I look around and subḥānAllāh, the job is getting done!

If you find yourself disturbed by events around you – whether internationally, in your community, or within your family – and thinking, “Someone should do something,” well, you are the someone. You see the need, you have the capabilities that Allāh gave you as His representative on earth, you have the same brain, heart and opposable thumbs as anyone else. You're it, bro. It's you, sister.

Yes, someone needs to raise funds for our starving brothers and sisters in Somalia, Syria, Yemen and other places. Someone must speak on behalf of political prisoners, educate people about Palestine, start a Humanitarian Day event in the local community, adopt Muslim orphans, establish Islamic institutions, represent Muslims in the media, write Muslim novels, make documentaries…

If not you, then who?

If you've been thinking of writing a book, or pursuing a graduate degree; or if you're a medical practitioner and you've been contemplating going overseas to work with Doctors Without Borders; or if you're interested in campaigning for human rights, doing da'wah, learning Arabic, studying martial arts, getting in shape, or improving your eating habits…

If not now, then when?

The time is now, the place is here, the person is you. You are hereby appointed. Fulfill the mission that Allāh has placed you here to do. Exercise your unique talents fee-sabeel-illah. You'll never hear a starting gun telling you to sprint. Just do it, slide one foot forward – cautiously if need be - then the other, and you will find yourself progressing toward your dream. Don't worry about having all your resources in place before you begin. Don't let thelack of funds stop you. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, the American minister and best-selling author said, “Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”

Don't be stopped by naysayers. Remember what Allāh said to Musa: “…let not the one who believes not therein but follows his own lusts, divert you therefrom, lest you perish.” Do what's in your heart, and don't listen to those who would cut you down, mock you, or doubt your ability.

Raise your children as Muslims. Often Muslim parents do not actively teach their children the deen, thinking that the children will somehow pick it up by osmosis. Or they fool themselves into thinking that dropping the kids off for Sunday school at the Masjid is sufficient (it's not). Don't wait, and don't count on anyone else to educate your children. Remember that your children do not belong to you, but to Allāh. They are an amanah (a trust), and you are their shepherd, so raise your flock well. The time is now, and you are the person. Make time for your kids, teach them by example and by textbook, raise them with care as you would a garden.

So many of us want to be better Muslims. We envision a time in the future, near or far, when we will give up bad habits, perfect our ṣalāh, memorize more Quran, worship more fully in Ramadan, and ready ourselves for Jannah. And yet that time does not arrive… we're not quite ready… But the Messenger of Allāh (sws) said,

“Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death.” (Musnad Imam Ahmad, Narrated by Ibn Abbaas).

This is the moment, while you have your youth, health, wealth, time and life itself. None of us is assured another sunrise, or another evening on this earth. Death waits for no man or woman, but comes upon us on the wing, like a raven in the night.

The time is now. The place is here. The person is you.