After her tragic death, her father Abu Shoiab wrote up this beautiful article. I’ve asked his permission to post it on our website.

Nabihah My Love

But a Person is With the One Whom They Love

Even before we start to write about this glimpse into the life of our dear daughter, it is necessary to purify our intentions, hence the reason for the delay. This must not be for Shuhrah or fame or some Nahiha fan club, but it must be for, as Allah has said, “Ya ayyuha ladhina amanu itaqullaaha wabtaghoo ilayhil waseelah” (Oh you who believe fear Allah and seek out the means of approach to him). Great effort and attention must be paid in trying to purify our intentions and knowing precisely why we are doing this. It may be a wake up call for a lazy or sleepy Muslim. It may help someone to realize how short and fleeting this life is; how precious it is that we must take every opportunity to do good, no matter how small, and we must seek every opportunity to invite people to Allah and use all the resources available to us in that cause, even if that means the life and death of our dear baby.

How do we begin to describe the love of our life? If Allah had given us someone for one or two years and took her away, it would have been easier because of her short life. Or if she had been married with children and away from the home it would have softened the loss. But our baby girl was in the prime of her life, just at the age of marriage, and the decision is with the Lord of the universe. As our Prophet (SAW) said at the moment of his death, when he was given the choice to go or stay, “Balir-rafeequl-’alaa, Balir-rafeequl-’alaa - certainly the highest companionship, certainly the highest the companionship.”

It was late 2004 when Nabiha discovered a non-healing ulcer on her tongue which became exceedingly painful and was preventing her from eating. In March 2005, she had her first operation for the removal of the ulcer and a biopsy, which showed a presence of malignancy. In retrospect, when a Muslim is faced with the news of cancer, he begins to think of the options available to him. Seeking treatment and medical care is encouraged in the Sunnah (called: “at-tadaawee - seeking treatment”). So over the next two years, we followed the full gamut of treatment of up to seven or eight surgeries together with radiotherapy in far away India, a return there for a review, then on to chemotherapy back in Trinidad. Despite huge setbacks, we were to see the Hand of Allah in everything that challenged us. He tested us but walked us through to the very end. Allahumma laka wa minka; O Allah to you and from you. Laa malja’a minallahi illa ilayhi; There is no refuge from Allah, except in Him. (more…)

Before I get too far and people wrongfully accuse me, I wish to be clear that I am indeed very much in favor of free speech and very thankful that I do not have to be afraid of what I say in this country. This though does not detract from what many people feel is an abuse of this great privilege of ours in America and elsewhere.

Case in point was the absolute bipartisan insanity over the supposed depiction of the Prophet Muhammad (saas- may the peace and blessings of God be upon him) that divided the Muslim and non-Muslim West. On one side, some enraged Muslims wrongfully lashed out at society in various riots, acts of terror and general acts of mayhem. To be fair though, far more Muslims expressed their disapproval through peaceful demonstrations and actions designed to educate the public in general on who the Prophet Muhammad was and why we love him so dearly.

On the other side too there were those in the non-Muslim world who defiantly proclaimed their right to depict the Prophet in any way they wished – insulting or not – as guaranteed by the freedom of speech. Again, to be fair though, a large number of other non-Muslim Westerners disagreed with this position as voiced to me by one airplane seat-mate of mine who was visiting the US from Denmark. She reported to me that on the contrary, a number of surveys in her country had shown a majority of Danes were unhappy with their government’s position and felt there was very much a difference between freedom of speech and respecting someone else’s feelings.

Seeing the obvious support for the freedom to insult and disrespect that seemed to predominate – at least as portrayed in the media – I was thus quite surprised two months ago to read about how a number of outraged Catholics in Austria succeeded in having a sacrilegious painting of the Last Supper removed from Vienna’s Roman Catholic St. Stephan’s Cathedral museum. They were no doubt appropriately offended by the so-called “work of art” by celebrated Austrian artist Alfred Hrdlicka which depicted “a homosexual orgy” of the Apostles as Hrdlicka described it. This homo-erotic version of Christ’s Last Supper immediately came under fire by Church patrons to the museum as well as across the Christian world where bloggers in both Europe and the US rightfully decried the painting as a “blasphemy” and “desecration”.

Instead of invoking the almighty right of freedom of speech though, something amazing happened - the museum respectfully took down the painting at its Cardinal’s request just over a week after the ‘Religion, Flesh and Power’ exhibition had opened. Cardinal Schoenborn, the archbishop of Vienna, said through a spokesman regarding his decision, “This has nothing to do with censorship, rather corresponds with the understood “reverence for the sacred”. He continued, “It is also an act of respect towards those believers who feel this portrayal offended and provoked them in their deepest religious sensitivity.”

As Muslims who believe in the Qur’an and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, we have a great love, admiration and respect for the Messiah, Jesus the son of the Virgin Mary (saas). Just as we were offended by the sacrilegious depiction of our beloved Prophet Muhammad in newspaper cartoons, we are equally offended to the highest degree by any portrayal – visual, written or otherwise – of any of the great Prophets of God. As a Muslim, I am still horrified that although the Last Supper painting was removed there continue to be other works of “art” that remained in that display like that of a Crucifixion picture showing a soldier simultaneously beating Jesus and holding his genitals.

So in conclusion, although it appears to me to be a double standard, I am very pleased to see that freedom of speech was not abused to keep such a piece of trash masquerading as art in the Cathedral museum. I also hope this will lead to further discussion and reflection in the Western world regarding a delineation between freedom of speech and “reverence for the sacred” so that we may truly become a global civilization that respects all of its members.

The American then asked, ‘But what do you do with the rest of your time?’ The Mexican said, ‘I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll in the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, Señor.’

The American scoffed, ‘I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York, where you would run your expanding enterprise.’

The Mexican fisherman asked, ‘But Señor, how long would this all take?’ To which the American replied, ‘Fifteen to twenty years.’

‘But what then, Señor?’ (more…)

Say what?

You can check it out for yourself. You lucky American Muslims have your very own Mecca! It has nothing on the Saudi version, obviously, but perhaps it is worth a visit if you’re in the area. Imagine living there? That would be one awesome postal address for a Muslim!

Anyway, after being a little more specific with Mr G. Maps, (”Take me to Mecca, Saudi Arabia - please”), I was soon gazing down upon the dusty streets of Makkah Al-Mukkaramah - and with a few sweeps of my right index finger (more…)

As the date for the procedure came closer, I started doing more research and found that the procedure is a lot more serious than my doctor had led me to believe. If you can stomach it, search “endoscopic surgery” on youtube (as I did) and you’ll see that the doctor goes into the nose, alters the shape of the deviated septum, then makes her way up into the sinuses, re-shaping and excising portions of them along the way, with the goal of clearing inflamed sinuses and making more room for air to pass through them. It looked disgusting and painful. I spent the week prior to the surgery trying to decide if my symptoms really warranted this surgery. I even had a dream in which the doctor carved tunnels through the inside of my face. By the morning of the surgery I was very, very nervous. (more…)

“Wal ‘Asr…” “WatTeeni wazZaytoon…” “WadhDhuha… walLayli ithaa sajaa…” “Wal Fajr…” “WashShamsi wa DhuHaahaa…”

By Time… By the fig and the olive… By the morning brightness, by the night and its darkness… By the dawn… By the sun and its brightness…!

Since the beginning of existence, mankind has been fascinated by the world around us and most if not all of us have realized at one point that none of this could exist without Someone being responsible for it all - however, whether we follow up on that realization by acknowledging Allah as the only One worthy of worship is another matter altogether. Anyway, the point is that the universe we live in is a miracle in and of itself, such that it is within humankind’s nature that we observe it in awe and appreciation.

Yet I have noticed a disturbing trend within myself and others, something which causes this aspect of the fitrah to be… well, quashed, I guess you could say.

Here’s an example: (more…)

Yesterday, however, we got to a point in the book which brought me to tears and boosted my faith. It’s in a chapter in which Lang discusses some of the challenges American converts face, and ends with a discussion of the Qur’an and how this holy book alone creates and sustains faith despite all the challenges inherent in breaking away from your former beliefs and embracing Islam.

The last couple of paragraphs address the spiritual aftermath of experiencing the Qur’an, and the place it brings us to, where the choice is clear and all that remains is to make sense of the decision, to ourselves and to others. I want to share with you the final paragraph, which I believe summarizes the experience of the convert to Islam in just a few words:

Those who choose Islam soon discover that, for the rest of their lives, they will have to face the following question repeatedly: “How did you become a Muslim?” They will formulate various partial explanations at different times according to the context in which it is asked. However, all of us who made that decision know that even we cannot fully comprehend it, for the wisdom and workings of God are often subtle and unfathomable. Perhaps the simplest and truest statement we can offer is this: At one special moment of our lives - a moment that we could never have foreseen when we were younger - God, in His infinite knowledge and kindness, had mercy on us. Maybe He saw in us a need so great, a pain so deep, or an emptiness so vast. And maybe, He also saw in us a readiness. However He made it come to be, to Him we are eternally thankful. Truly, all praise and thanks belong to God.

I have memories of good times with Janice. One year she and I and another of the moms went trick or treating together in the pouring rain. The six of us were crammed into my car and we stopped every few houses to let the kids out to do their thing. We took turns supervising the kids and we all ended up completely soaked but giddy with the adventure and the thought of all the candy to be had once we dried it out. Another time Janice was helping me move out of my apartment and I knocked over an entire canister of ground coffee. Being the caffeine addict that I was, I was obviously horrified. As I swept it up I started my own soulful version of Boyz II Men’s “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” Seeing that I hadn’t freaked out, our kids and then Janice joined me in an off-tune and melodramatic version of the song. It was hilarious.

That was life back then - I was not a practicing Muslim and life was both fun and bittersweet, full of laughs that kept us just from the edge of bitterness. We were all teetering on the edge - the edge of being broke, the edge of being lonely, the edge of really screwing up our kids, quite frankly.

When I befriended Janice I was very close to the edge. We met in a shelter for (more…)

On the window of my home
I see a world that is utopia to me
It watches its children grow up in peace
And sees them laugh
And sees them live
That world beyond is a bubble to me
That has perfect harmony
And color
And life
That world to me is a fairy tale
That exists for me
As fairy tales do
In books
And stories
And fables (more…)

A big disclaimer before continuing: This is not a critique of seeking knowledge, of students of knowledge, or anything of that sort. Rather, what follows is an examination of the culture found in our communities of aspiring students, their motivations in seeking knowledge, and the method employed in doing so.

When you grow up in the West without Islam - even if you are a Muslim - you will have certain people you still look up to, some who have nothing to do with who you really are. For example, young desi kids dressed like gangsters and thugs, listening to rap music [See related post on Hip Hop and Islam.], meeting with their friends to mack on girls, then going home to eat biryani and study for those extra chemistry classes they are taking in preparation for med school. Aren’t we all to some extent products of our own environment?

The bottom line is, though, to some extent - in jahiliyyah (not necessarily exclusive to people who converted) - people aspire to be like those celebrities, famous and adored. I don’t think it’s even necessarily the appeal of the money as it is the adoration of the people. Everyone craves having the respect and attention of people. Muslims who start learning see examples of people who are famous in the Muslim ummah. They have CD’s, DVD’s, they travel around giving talks and classes, and are to a large extent adored by the Muslim masses. I remember going to a convention once where the crowd of people waiting to get in to hear one particular speaker talk resembled the crowd outside an arena waiting to get into a rock concert. (more…)