The site, run by Detroit native Matt Dudzinski, tells the story of a very rare and unique role people take in today's world: a guy who decided with his wife to be a stay-at-home dad watching their daughter while mom went to work.

My excitement came because I had just recently experienced a time in my life when I was unemployed and, with my wife, made the decision (and in some ways was forced) to be a stay-at-home dad with our new baby boy, while my wife went to work. The experience was something I wanted to share with people, and I thought what better place than on a site written by someone in the same shoes.

The article was written for an open online audience at large. One of the goals I had was to show other American readers that your Muslim neighbors go through some of the very same and real problems you do, and here's how they approach it with Islam to empower them.

Now, I'd like to share it with the Muslim community. The goal this time, however, is to call something to our attention.

There are many personal situations that our community is largely unfamiliar with. Some examples are divorce, poverty, unemployment, and baggage from before accepting Islam.

Because of our unfamiliarity, we sometimes look down on people in situations that we don't understand.

This does a lot of damage to people. They might be in some sort of great need, but instead are shunned, because their unique situation is something people are just ignorant about, leaving them without any means of seeking help.

I found myself in one of those “unfamiliar” personal situations. I was a stay-at-home dad.

And while I found support in certain places, I also found scenarios where people from our community looked down at me because of my situation.

Why? I'm sure there are many reasons. Yes, our faith defines general guidelines for roles and responsibilities between genders. And maybe the way certain cultures that are predominantly Muslim have institutionalized those guidelines into hard, fast rules might have something to do with it.

But, like I mentioned for the other scenarios, I feel it's because of people's unfamiliarity with my situation that may have caused them to have a negative feeling about my decision to be a stay-at-home dad.

After all, what kind of Muslim man has his wife go out and earn an income while staying home to change diapers? No one really knows, because it's not something common, and therefore probably not a good thing.

These types of standards made life a little hard for me, socially. I would find myself feeling bad about telling people within our community that I was a stay-at-home dad. For some reason, I felt like people wouldn't accept me for it.

subḥānAllāh, we know very well the high regard our faith gives to people who treat their families best. And in my situation, unable to find work, I had no choice. I had to stay home (as you can read in the article). Yet, still I got heat for it!

Now, my situation isn't that big of deal; I only had to deal with this social stigma to a limited extent. Plus, I actually really enjoyed my time at home with my son.

It's people going through much worse that I worry about. Those who are divorced and have a stigma attached to them by others. People of other races that are looked down upon. Even people struggling with their faith finding little to no acceptance in the community.

People are in need, and when they want to try and reach out for help, they don't, because they know how people will react if they find out about their situation.

The solutions to this issue are many. But the one clear way I feel is to take a prophetic approach and be more open and accepting as a community.

Behind every tradition of the Prophet in words and actions, there were real live humans he interacted with on a daily basis, peace be upon him. Especially those that came to him with situations unique from the majority of the community. Anybody with any problem was able to approach the Prophet with an open-door policy. Hearing about those Companions' lives, may Allāh be pleased with them, gives people in similar struggles something to find comfort in and relate to.

But it's knowledge about their stories that is critical. To bring back the prophetic way of acceptance in our times, maybe we need to hear more about what people go through today.

And that's why I'd like to share my experience as a stay-at-home dad. Our community needs to hear about people in situations we're unfamiliar with. As Allāh says in the Qur'an, “…so that you may get to know one another.” (49:13)

I hope that by seeing how the situation was for me, our community can increase understanding and begin to exercise compassion to others in similar situations.

Compassion that, hopefully, can do the same for those in greater need, as well.

The Best Job I Ever Had

Four weeks before our first son, Abdullah Yusuf Shafi, was born, we found ourselves in an interesting situation. I had lost my job as an accountant at a corporate retail company. Within a few weeks, Ayesha was due to go on maternity leave from her position as a high school math teacher at a small private school, unpaid. Not exactly the situation we had planned for when we would have our first child.

Read the rest of the article, “The Best Job I Ever Had,” at TheGoodTheDadAndTheBaby.com.

This was the du‘ā’ of practically everyone that stayed in our tent at Mina during Hajj 2009. Somehow, the 50 of us found ourselves in a situation where we almost missed the pinnacle and most important pillar of Hajj, going to the plain of ‘Arafah on the 9th of Dhul Hijjah.

With time running out before Maghrib, and chances of a bus arriving for our tent getting slimmer by the minute, it seems like the worst thing that could happen was destined for us: having our Hajj not count at all.

How did we get into this situation? Did we make it to ‘Arafah? Did our Hajj count? All this, in the story of how our group almost missed the day of ‘Arafah, the most important part of the Hajj experience.

A little about ‘Arafah

The Prophet ﷺ said, “Hajj is ‘Arafah.” In other words, the very core of Hajj both takes places on the day of ‘Arafah as well as at the site known as ‘Arafah, an area where the Prophet ﷺ went on the 9th Dhul Hijjah as a part of his Hajj.

While there, pilgrims will spend the day making du‘ā’ (supplication) to Allāh for anything they want. As the Prophet ï·º said, “The best du‘ā’ is the du‘ā’ on the day of ‘Arafah.” (Abu Dawud) It’s also the ultimate day to ask for forgiveness of every single one of your sins, as the Prophet ï·º also said, “There is no day in which Allāh sets free more souls from the fire of Hell than on the day of ‘Arafah.” (Muslim)

But going there is a must. According to the consensus of the scholars, every pilgrim absolutely must go to ‘Arafah in order for their Hajj to count as a valid one. Unlike other rituals, there is no penalty or makeup action for missing it. Not going means your Hajj is void!

Like all other pilgrims, we made plans to leave from our hotels in Mecca on the 8th to arrive at our tent at Mina in the daytime. The requirement was to pray five prayers there, beginning with áº'uhr on the 8th. After Fajr time on the 9th (remember the date changes at Maghrib per lunar calendars), we would make way towards ‘Arafah to hear a khutbah given on that day (like the final farewell sermon of the Prophet ï·º) and right after that spend the day making du‘ā’.

After ‘Arafah ends, pilgrims would make their way over to the spend the night of the 10th on the plain of Muzdalifah, all of which we were excited and ready to do. For more on the places of Hajj, see the previous part of this series, The Places of Hajj.

Rain on the 8th on the way to Mina

Right before leaving Mecca, however, we noticed there were clouds in the sky. Big clouds.

“Oh, that makes sense,” someone said. “About a week and a half ago, they prayed ṣalāt al-istisqā’ at the Haram.”

á¹¢alāt al-istisqā’ is the prayer in which you beseech Allāh for rain. As we were wondering if the du‘ā’ was going to come true or not (and some people with me wondering why they prayed it at all), we had to board the bus.

On the way, it began to darken in the sky and drizzle in the streets. The drizzle turned into a light rain, which continued as we entered Mina and slowly made way to our tent site, area 53.

Once we arrived at our tent, though, the du‘ā’ was definitely answered, because it began to pour. Like, unbelievable pouring. We ran from our bus into our tent, and for the next three hours witnessed the effects of a downpour at Mina during Hajj season.

The walkways between tents were literally flowing with water. Tents were breaking from the weight of water. Food boxes, sleeping mattresses and pillows, and bags of belongings all got mad soaked. What a way to enter Mina!

Struggles on the 9th

After the rain subsided, our group situated itself into its three or four tents and began to enjoy the happenings of Mina. Praying in the tents, bonding with fellow Hajj-mates, and eating the simple food provided for the pilgrims (at least in our package, anyway).

After sleeping our first night in Mina, we woke up to pray Fajr and got ready for the first sign to catch a bus to ‘Arafah. To walk would have taken longer, and arrangements for buses are always made for the pilgrims to get there via modern transportation. So we waited for the first notice of a bus.

Sometime well into the morning, news of our bus arriving came when the sun was burning above a clear, bright sky. Our tent members quickly grabbed the belongings they needed for the day of ‘Arafah and the stay in the plain of Muzdalifah. This was it, the big moment was here!

After about an hour of waiting for a bus, however, no such transportation came. For some reason we were told we’d have to wait, and our group was told to wait in the tent instead of standing around for too long, especially with elderly and pregnant pilgrims with us.

So back we went into our tent to wait. Many tents were emptied out already, as those groups’ buses had come and left with their pilgrims, but there we were still in Mina. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? Just a little longer. After all, Hajj is about patience.

But as the wait increased, our time left on the day of ‘Arafah was getting shorter. It must have been 10 or 11am and we were still waiting, with no sign of a bus. Our group leader, Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef, told us to make du‘ā’ we get a bus, and we tried our best to remain calm.

Why the wait?

Because it had rained so hard the day before, the entire area was transformed. Many of the surrounding areas were impacted with floods over a foot high, making transportation difficult.

There were also the millions of pilgrims that don’t have tents and stay out in the open who were impacted by the storm. From what we had heard, pilgrims were hijacking buses in order to get rides to ‘Arafah due to the conditions. It would just be too difficult to walk for those that initially intended to do so.

With all this chaos, our bus just so happened to be one of the ones that was caught in the mess. To make matters worse, there was no indication of whether we were going to get one anytime soon.

Realizing that it might all end

As our patience began to thin out, another major test hit. The time for the khutbah began.

One of our group members pulled out a pocket radio and accessed the frequency the sermon was being broadcast on. As we listened to the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia deliver his khutbah, our hearts began to sink even lower.

Sure we were able to hear the khutbah, but time was the major issue here. It was already time for the ‘Arafah khutbah, and we were still stuck at Mina! After this, the time for ‘‘aṣr kicks in, and eventually Maghrib when the day was over.

Not only had we lost so much time already, the worst thing that could happen began to become a possible reality for us; we might miss our chance to go to ‘Arafah altogether that day, voiding our entire Hajj, even after weeks of being in Mecca, spending thousands out of our pockets, and making so much effort to get this far.

An announcement, and our fate for that day

As the time for áº'uhr prayer was getting closer to ending, our group leaders had us come out of our tents for an announcement from Shaykh Muhammad.

“Okay, everyone, so it seems like there is a chance buses might not come after all.” Our stomachs dropped.

“Some group members have taken off walking, but I don’t recommend that you do. The walk could possibly take your two to three hours because of the flood conditions, and not only would you miss ‘Arafah, you have no way of finding our tent there and later our area in Muzdalifah.” In other words, he said walking would mean we’d be alone going forward.

“You may be thinking, ‘what if we can’t go?’ But think back to all the tests that you guys have undergone so far.” Shaykh Muhammad began to remind us of the difficulties our group has had up until this day during the days before Hajj. While this was welcome, it was not enough to help our fears.

Some of us began to whisper to one another for plans to start walking. Who cares if we become split from the group? At least we won’t miss Hajj!

“Even though we’d only have a few hours before Maghrib, realize that not only are many of the Hujjaj not as prepared as you guys are to make du ‘a today, and a lot of people waste their time socializing, sleeping, and not making enough du‘ā’. Insha’Allāh when you guys get there, you will be the most sincere du‘ā’ making Hajjis out there!”

“So don’t lose your patience. You guys have gone through so many tests so far already with our group. Do NOT let the reward of being patient be lost by getting upset only to regret it later. Because this test is so difficult. And the harder the test, the more reward that comes from being patient from it. So let’s go back to our tents, and make du‘ā’ that a bus comes, and continue to be patient.”

It was at that moment, when everyone was crying with tears, but listened to the advice to go back and be patience that, like an epic scene out of a movie, a voice cried from far down the walkway by the street.

“Muhammad, Muhammad! Tell the people, let’s go! The bus is here!!!”

Everyone was immediately thrown into probably the happiest moment in their lives. Shaykh Muhammad got quiet, and everyone was so happy and overcome with emotion over how perfectly this worked out. At one point, I even questioned if Shaykh Muhammad planned out the speech to be given right then at that very moment, because the timing of the bus coming The test was over, and the road to ‘Arafah was finally paved for us.

‘Arafah

The rest of the day happened exactly how Shaykh Muhammad told us. We utilized the three some hours we had like they were our very lives. On the ride there, our group’s talbiyah (the call of coming to Allāh, labbayk Allahumma labbayk) was not only super passionate, it was really loud! But no one complained. We were going to perform the crux of our Hajj, and we were saying it like we meant it.

In addition to us appreciating our time very well, what he mentioned about the pilgrims waste of time that day was evident at ‘Arafah right when we got there. Pilgrims were sleeping, chatting up storms, and much worse. Outside the tents, there was a man selling camel rides which people were waiting in lines in to enjoy.

All this made us appreciate our time a lot, and realize our purpose and goals for the day much more than had we come earlier that day.

Thoughts looking back

As Maghrib approached, aside from having to go home for good, the saddest part of Hajj was upon us. The day of ‘Arafah was about to end.

While every one of our group members had enough time to utilize their du‘ā’ lists, we still had a feeling that was inevitable due to our situation. “If only we had more time. Khair, alhamdulillah…”

Looking back while writing this a year later, I feel the experience we had and the limited time to make du‘ā’ not only helped us with our passion and thirst for the ‘Arafah Day, it actually represented Hajj altogether.

The entire journey of Hajj is all about unexpected trials and tribulations that come up during your attempt to give it your best in performing the acts of worship. As much as one may plan and try, difficulties that we can’t control will simply come in the way, and tests we think we’d never be able to pass come right in front of us.

This is how it was for Hājar when running between Safa and Marwah, for Ibrahim, peace be upon him, when he was ordered to sacrifice his son, Ismā‘īl, peace be upon him. And this is how it was for the Prophet ﷺ when he tried to perform Hajj before the Treaty of Hudaibīyyah. And similar to the billions of Muslims who struggled to make it to perform one of the greatest acts of worship from all over the world.

Just like we didn’t know if we were going to make it, the pilgrim should have a balanced hope and fear as to whether or not their Hajj was accepted. This keeps them on their toes the entire time to make sure they do everything right and not go home thinking they’ve completed life and can live however they want thereafter. Instead, Hajj and ‘Umrah are something we shouldn't take for granted, and hope to come back again and again to perform to the best of our ability in the face of trials.

All this, in just a mere twenty-four hours. This is the power of Hajj and the types of scenarios pilgrims may face when they go. Everyone’s tests are different, but the one thing that’s constant for all remains. It truly is the journey of a lifetime.

UPDATE: A Difference Perspective

After writing this, I came to learn that our group leader, Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef, recorded a video telling this same story, but from a different point of view: as the leader of our group.

Thanks to Arif Kabir for informing me about it.

I read a tweet from Wisam Sharieff the other day, on how he tried to spread awareness of Ramadan to non-Muslims by way of handing out treats.    

  

This inspired me to do something like this on my own, so I consulted my wife:  

 “I want to take something to work tomorrow. Do you think I should make brownies?” I asked her, before leaving for tarāwīḥ night prayers on the first evening of Ramadan. 

“We could. But, how about a cake?”  

After a little thought and realizing that she probably knows better than me, I approved it, and the plan went ahead.  

The next morning, my wife baked and decorated the cake, while I went to work. I picked it up during my usual trip home for lunch, brought it in to work, and sent out the following email:    

   

Hello everyone,   

There’s chocolate cake with strawberries on the back counter behind Jayne’s desk. Please feel free to have some.  

 

    

My wife baked it as a celebration for today being the first day of Ramadan this year.   

Enjoy!   

Saqib    

While my associates were excited about getting free cake, it opened up a dialogue on Ramadan and Islam, as I had hoped.   

Associate #1 asked what Ramadan was. I explained that it is our holy month, in which the Qur’ān was revealed, during which we fast daily to come closer to God. She asked what the Koran was, and if we do it for Mohamed. I explained that the Qur’ān is what we believe to be the final scripture after the Bible. And, as is the case for everything else, we fast for God. To us, Muhammad is a prophet, just like Jesus, Adam, Moses, and so on. She was blown away! She had no idea that we believed in the other prophets, or in a continuation of scripture; she thought our religion was one dedicated solely to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). She then shared with me her annoyance at the way that Christmas and Easter have been commercialized and paganized, and commended us for keeping our tradition strong. 

Associate #2 asked, “So are you fasting? When’s 'Īd?” Being from India, she probably knew what was going on, from being around Muslims back home.   

Associate #3 came and said, “Happy Ramadan! Is that okay to say?” I laughed and replied that of course, it was.   

Associate #4 also asked what Ramadan was and, after hearing that it involved fasting, mentioned that she used to fast three times a week for one year, while visiting sick people in the hospital. Amazed, I asked her if she felt spiritually empowered by it, to which she responded that it made her feel that, if she can give up things that she likes, then she can do anything. I explained that this is exactly what we believe we get out of fasting: if we can abstain from what we can have (ḥalāl), then we certainly can stay away from sins and what we’re not allowed to have (ḥarām).    

Associate #5 approached my cubicle with a very serious face. I asked her why she was so solemn; she said that she was going to ask a personal question, and didn’t want to offend me. When I let her know that she didn’t have to be so formal, she asked what Ramadan was. I explained to her what the month was about. She panicked at the idea of not eating all day, for twelve hours. I told her fifteen – she was shocked.  

Associate #6 kicked in, saying that when he played football in college, he had a teammate named Nasir who fasted while continuing to train and lift weights. I mentioned that NFL’s Husain Abdullah of the Minnesota Vikings, and Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon do the same. He said he remembered Abdullah doing so last year, and that he was really impressed that someone could do that for their faith. Props to that brother, Nasir!   

Associate #7 chimed in, saying that she read an article in the Tribune the other day, about a woman who homeschools and was trying to focus on patience and self-control while fasting in Ramadan. The article is actually about Olivia Kompier! I told the associate that she’s a convert who accepted Islam while in high school (may Allāh reward the people who helped her find it), opening up the idea that non-Muslims in America find our religion and grab onto it.   

So, with a little cake mix, frosting, and strawberries, I got a mix of dialogue that not only began with an explanation of Islamic theology, but ended with an example of someone converting to our faith.   

As curious and open as some people are to hearing about our beliefs, a lot of them don’t know much about them, or have misconceptions that can be easily corrected. It doesn’t hurt to have the information we give them go down with a little chocolaty goodness!    

I hope this story inspires you to do something like this with your own co-workers, classmates, and neighbors. If not now, then for 'Īd. But try to do something!   

Thanks to Wisam Sharieff for inspiring me, and thanks to my wife for baking the cake.    

There’s a leftover chunk that didn’t get eaten. Ifṭār dessert after breaking my fast, you ask? Maybe. That, or a 4:30 am suḥūr… :)

While there's a lot to learn about Hajj, and you won't really know most of it until you actually go, learning about the major places of Hajj and what happens there can go a long way. Here's a look at them and what they mean for a pilgrim.

The post is pretty long, but instead of splitting this section into parts, it can serve as a basic one-stop shop for reference on what the major parts of Hajj are. I wrote this post with help from my wife. I covered Mina and Jamarat while she did ‘Arafah and Muzdalifah.

Mina

On the 8th of Dhul Hijjah, the first official day of Hajj begins upon your arrival to Mina. It’s here that you stay for almost every night of your days during Hajj.

The first thing you notice upon arriving is the massive size of the place. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, stayed in this area during his Hajj, and since then, staying arrangements have been made throughout the ages that have nearly filled up the entire area with tents to fit 2 to 3 million people. Your Hajj group makes arrangements for your stay in one of them.

There’re so many tents, Mina is better known as Tent City. Meaning you literally enter a city of tents probably the size of the Loop in downtown Chicago, all filled with tents and walkways in between. This makes it really easy to get lost if you’re not careful. The tents all look the same and are set up in patterns throughout the different sections.

Each area is split up by continent, and then by country, for the most part. You’ll see flags along walkways and bridges that overlook the tents that will give you an idea of where people are coming from.

Meals for our group were given in our tents. They were small hot trays of food, each meal being lightly cooked rice and some kind of meat.

Here’s what one of the tents looks like inside. This is a standard and very typical arrangement for a pilgrim.

Hajj groups give out sleeping bags and sometimes tents will have mattresses and pillows.

While staying here, you begin your process of change. You’re sleeping with people who are all on the same boat as you, there to perform Hajj and be forgiven for your sins. You start to share your food with them, pray in the same tents together, watch each others’ bags while going to the restrooms, talk about stories and experience, and more. The experience of brotherhood is unmatched and builds your character (granted that you choose to let it do so).

Also, specifically for us Muslims coming from Western lands, we get to exorcise a lot of our comfortable demons while staying in Mina during Hajj. The bathrooms at Mina are horrendous for most people. The food, unless you pay over $10,000 for your package per person, is nothing special and gets repetitive. You learn the value of water without being close to easily accessible taps or bottled water. You recall how much of a luxury cars and public transportation are when you walk for miles all day from Mina to other places.

All in all, the experience in Mina builds you up perfectly while you perform the upcoming rituals of Hajj, acting as a home away from home during that time with sweet memories you carry with your forever.

‘Arafah

On the 9th of Dhul Hijjah, the Hujjaj pack up from Mina, and head out to the plain of ‘Arafah. The Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalaam has said, “Hajj is ‘Arafah.” It is the most important day of the five days of Hajj. In fact, unlike the other manāsik (rituals) that are part of Hajj, if a Hajji misses going to ‘Arafah, there is no penalty or fee that can be paid; instead the entire Hajj is nullified!

What you may have seen in the past is pictures of people standing on a mountain making du‘ā’. This mountain is called Jabl Rahmah.

While many pilgrims find the strength to climb the mountain and make du‘ā’, the vast majority do not. There is no requirement to be on the mountain, so many people sit under tents, or find secluded places to make du‘ā’ quietly without any distraction. The only requirement for ‘Arafah is that you are within its limits.

The time to be at ‘Arafah starts around midday. There is a khutba delivered in Masjid Namira. Not every pilgrim can attend because of the trip from Mina to ‘Arafah, so instead they listen via radio or have a khutba in their own group. After it finishes, pilgrims pray both Dhuhr and ‘aṣr combined. This is a rukhsa, or gift, given from Allāh so that each Hajji is free of any obligatory prayer for the rest of the daylight hours.

From then on, the entire afternoon is spent making du‘ā’ to Allāh. All the Hujjaj are gathered on a plain in front of Allāh dusty and dirty, begging for His Mercy. It’s a parable for the Day of Judgment, except this time, the pilgrims have come voluntarily. And this time they have the opportunity to change their ways, and fix themselves before they are all called before Allāh once more.

It is an amazing sight to see millions of Muslims gathered together all making du‘ā’ to Allāh. It is truly something that will boost your Ä«mān and make you realize the Glory and Might of Allāh. It is Allāh who is Al-MujÄ«b and Al-QarÄ«b. He answers and He is close. There is no discrimination because is the Just; all those who make du‘ā’ to Allāh are treated equal. The people gathered there come from all walks of life, with different problems, different requests, different dilemmas, hopes and dreams. It doesn’t matter if they are American, European, African, or Asian; Allāh answers all their du‘ā’ and is close to all of them.

The afternoon is filled with strong emotions. Hearts are on a roller coaster, coming up out of fearful lows and soaring to hopeful highs. There is assurance from the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, that the du‘ā’ made on the day of ‘Arafah are the best du‘ā’, and that no du‘ā’ made on this day goes unanswered. So make sure, for your future Hajj trip, that you make an extensive du‘ā’ list and are prepared to ask for any and everything your heart desires.

As the daylight dims, it is time for Maghrib prayer, but there is no sunset prayer in ‘Arafah. Everyone wipes their eyes, grins from ear to ear, and leaves ‘Arafah knowing anything they asked for is theirs, inshā'Allāh.

Muzdalifah

From ‘Arafah the Hujjaj once again pack into buses and move forward to Muzdalifah. Once they arrive they pray both Maghrib and Isha together.

The rest of the night is meant for sleeping. On the morning of the 10th of Dhul Hijjah, everyone prays Fajr at Muzdalifah and moves back to Mina.

The night in Muzdalifah is probably the best night’s sleep during all of Hajj. The pilgrims arrive emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally exhausted. They are met with absolutely no accommodations; no tent, no mattress, no water, no food.

But despite all of that, there is comfort and contentment as they lay down on the ground. Above them are dazzling stars in the deep night sky. Around them are tall, protective, strong mountains. Their companions are relaxed and spirits are high. As they all fall asleep, laughter, smiles, and relief fill the air knowing that the time in Arafah has passed and was, insha’Allāh, accepted.

In the middle of the night, if you were to wake up and look around you, all you will see is death—the Hujjaj sleeping. Millions of bodies wrapped in white cloth, laying lifeless on the ground, only to wake up in the morning for Fajr. It is a time for rebirth and second chances. And so it is on the 10th of Dhul Hijjah that the Hujjaj shave their heads and make a sacrifice, just as they did as a baby when they are born into this world.

Jamarat

After you finish up going to ‘Arafah on the 9th of Dhul Hijjah and staying the night of the 10th in Muzdalifah, you still have three to four days of Hajj left. It’s during these days that you head out to the Jamarat to perform ramī, the stoning of the devil.

Located within Mina itself, this is the place where you’ve seen the pictures of thousands of pilgrims crowding around a huge stone and throwing small rocks at it. Each day remaining of Hajj, you have to go to this area to throw rocks at the large stones there while spending the nights in Mina in your tents.

The routes there get mega packed as millions of pilgrims leave their tents to go perform the stoning. The sight of throngs of people all going to one place isn’t all that at first, since you travel all at the same time. But when you get to the area and look back at how many people there are, it’s unreal! Besides the fact that the system the Saudi government created superb, you will never find yourself not amazed as to how many people come for Hajj, accepting the ancient call of Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him.

And it’s Prophet Ibrahim that comes to mind with this ritual of Hajj. As he went by order of his Lord to slaughter his son Isma‘īl, peace be upon him, Shaitan came and whispered to him in three different spots to stop him from obeying the command of Allāh.

He threw stones at Shaitan at each of these three instances, and Shaitan was expelled away. It’s that same stoning that we perform today in Hajj at the Jamarat, with three different stones: ṣaghīr, waṣaṭ, and ‘aqabah, or small, medium and large.

The Saudi government has built up a massive 5 level stoning facility to facilitate the flow of the millions of pilgrims. It’s huge. A giant… thing. Looks like a massive parking lot the size of a football field. In it, there are three huge stones that go up throughout each level of the facility to allow people to stone from whichever one they’re on.

Naturally, the first floor is more packed, because it’s the ground level and people want to throw from the level by which not only Prophet Ibrahim threw, but also Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him. The top floors are much easier to throw on, with escalators leading to them to facilitate elders and families.

Many thoughts come to mind with this ritual. First, is that of death. Every once in a while you hear about people dying at Hajj or stampedes that occur. This could probably be at Jamarat, because millions of people leave throughout the day to perform their stoning, with some times being more crowded than others.

“The Jamarat are upgraded, but the roads to them aren’t,” my group leader Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef said. “That’s where you find most deaths and stampedes.”

So whether you hear about deaths that occur then, or even in your planning to go perform stoning at a less intense time such as after ‘Aṣr, you are reminded of death.

Secondly, you are performing an ancient act of incredible obedience to Allāh that goes back all the way to Prophet Ibrahim. Not only are you performing a pillar of Hajj, but you’re also symbolically stoning Shaitan the same way Prophet Ibrahim did. Your whole life he has whispered evil inspirations to you, influencing a life of sin and disobedience to Allāh.

Now, after a day of asking for forgiveness in ‘Arafah and being reborn in Muzdalifah, you throw seven pebbles at each symbolic stone representing him in a way of riding his past influences on you even further.

Even if you don’t feel a connection in the symbolic connection to Prophet Ibrahim’s act because you’re throwing rocks at a huge stone made by the Saudi government in an air conditioned facility, as Imām Al-GhazālÄ« said in Iḥyā’ ‘UlÅ«m Al-DÄ«n, you’re still “throwing them in the face of the Shaiṭān and you are breaking his back with them, because nothing annoys him except your obeying the command of Allāh out of veneration for Him, simply because of His command, and the soul and mind have nothing to do with it.”

Conclusion

Now that you have a brief glimpse of the major bits of Hajj, you can understand them a bit better when you hear people talking about them and as you prepare to make your own Hajj inshā'Allāh. For those of you who've gone, which of these events and places did you love the most, and what was your experience like there and then?

To give you a taste of what it’s like, here’s a recap of one of my instances of praying Fajr at the Ka‘bah. Using photos and videos I took from multiple prayers I was able to pray there, I’ll try to recreate the experience of praying at Masjid Al-Harām and the reflections I had while doing so.

Our journey began at our hotel in Aziziyah, a small suburb just outside Mecca, at 4:30am.

Every morning we would take a bus that left to and returned back from the Haram once every hour or so. Since Fajr was at 5:30am, we’d take an early bus so as to get there in time to not only find a nice spot, but also throw down some prayers before Fajr time hit.

The bus would get nearly packed with Hajjis from our hotel, some from our group, others from around the world staying in our hotel. The route to the Haram at the beginning of our trip, one week before Hajj, would take 15 to 20 minutes. As the days of Hajj approached, the travel time took longer because of the increased crowds.

Our bus arrives at a certain turnabout about 10 minutes walking distance from the Haram.

The place gets packed as dozens of buses, taxis, and people arrive to make way towards the holiest place of worship on Earth, and the same is for a number of other drop-off points around the vicinity.

The thing that stands out first while praying during Hajj season is the incredible amount of people there.

Even at 4:30am, there were easily over a million people coming in over an hour before Fajr time. Why? To get some extra worship in, of course! People came from all over the ends of the Earth. So before Hajj time kicks in, they figure, let’s go pray at the Haram as much as we can.

One of the greatest sites you’ll see on Hajj but also ever in your life is that of the Ka‘bah. Although we live in an age where you can take a picture of this sacred house of worship that people save up their lives for with just the click of a button, nothing can compare to the sight of it in person. It stirs your soul and grabs it with its presence, yet at the same time somehow makes it feel completely at ease at the same time. You must experience it one day if you haven’t. Most of the time before Fajr, we prayed up on the third floor where I took this picture.

There’s also ṭawāf going on, the act of circumambulating the Ka‘bah. Before Fajr, particularly after midnight until 3am, there aren’t that many people. These pictures are taken right around 2:30am or so, which explains how I was able to get so close.

Now back to Fajr, or rather pre-Fajr. Before the adhān for prayer goes off, people gather in the millions to grab and spot and perform worship. This moment, by far, is the one of the most serene and peaceful experiences of your life.

There are thousands of people all around you sitting and worship Allāh in their own way before Fajr time. Some pray qiyām al-lail, the night prayer, focusing on their prayer counting 100,000 times more than normal and having the Ka‘bah so close in front of them.

Others are making du‘ā’, especially since they made it a point to come during the last third of the night when Allāh descends from His throne and answers what His servants ask.

Or reading Qur‘ān and reciting just a bit out loud while birds fly overhead and chirp away while performing their own worship and remembrance of Allāh.

The entire Haram is packed. Not a single place in the whole building structure exists that’s empty. Everywhere you look, there are people, and all of them are there for the same purpose.

So many people show up that every level of the Haram starts to get filled up. Massive amounts of worshipers accumulate outside the masjid because of the number of people anticipating prayer. And they are people of every single variety; old, young, South Asian, Arab, African, European, Asian, American, healthy, sick, wealthy, poor, disabled, strong, you name it. Throngs of people all staying in Mecca before or after the days of Hajj just to pray their prayers at Masjid Al-Harām.

With all that in mind, you take a moment for a mental time out to just think. Think about life, think about everything that happens, the history behind where you are and why you’re there, and thinking about Allāh (SWT) Himself. And the whole time, the only thing you hear is the quiet murmur of á¹­awāf and the sounds of birds above you.

Then, while you’re soaking all this in, the adhān for Fajr goes off.

This experience simply shakes you to the bone. Here you were sitting in the most peaceful moment of the night praying, reading Qur’ān, or reflecting, and the call to prayer begins echoing throughout the entire surrounding area. The sound system set up at the Haram is simply unmatched, and the feeling of hearing the adhān through it prepares you for prayer unlike any other.

With Fajr about fifteen to twenty minutes away, the ṭawāf starts to lessen as people sit down and situate themselves for prayer from the Ka‘bah area and back. Those performing ṭawāf at that point are absolutely packed up tight, but hope to find a place to pray super close to the Ka‘bah or maybe in the ḥaṭīm, the semi-circular part of the Ka‘bah inside which is considered to be part of the original Ka‘bah built by Prophet Ibrahim.

Even here, in the area between Safa and Marwa where pilgrims go back and forth from in sa‘i, there are worshipers taking a seat to get ready for prayer. For a lot of them, they were performing sa‘i and sat down once the adhān was called.

All over the Haram’s roofed areas are shelves full of copies of the Qur’ān that worshipers take and read from. Since Fajr is approaching quickly, people start to give the muṣḥaf to someone who volunteers to take them back.

Here a young brother jumps up to perform the task.

Are you always able to see the Ka‘bah from where you stand at the Haram? Not at all. In fact, it’s only really visible to you if you’re praying in the main courtyard where it gets super packed, or in the front most parts of the second and third floors. Also, the Haram guards have the women move backward out of the courtyard so as to not have men praying behind women during the congregational prayers (though, women are allowed to pray there all other times).

But if you can manage to pray there, it’s incredible. Your whole life as a Muslim you’ve been praying towards it in one direction. But that’s all it’s been, a direction. Imagine you’re praying in front of the very thing that you’ve been facing towards your whole life. It’s an entirely different experience, especially when it’s right in front of you.

I know it’s hard since you’ve never gone, but just envision the day that you get to pray this close to the Ka‘bah. It’s no longer a place across the ocean, or just a direction that you face. It’s the first site ever built for the worship of Allāh. Ever. In the history of mankind. And you’re there, so much closer, worshiping so much that your heart becomes closer to Allāh and wants to continue doing so forever.

After prayer ends, there is almost always a quick reminder of death: the funeral prayer, ṣalāt al-janāzah. There are millions of people in the city from all over, and deaths can occur anywhere. The bodies are brought in some time before prayer, and immediately after it finishes, the Imam leads the congregation for the funeral prayer after all five prayers of the day.

With Fajr over, over half the people leave. That’s not a light statement. We’re talking about a mass exodus of probably over a million people. The sight of that is amazing each and every time you see it. You’re just amazed not only at how many people came for Hajj, but also how many worshipers came to pray Fajr at the masjid.

The others would simply stay at the Haram and continue to worship, make i‘tikāf, or catch up on sleep. People stay there all day, getting food from places nearby and getting the most out of their time in the sacred city of Makkah.

To get back to our hotel, we would walk back to our drop off point to meet our driver and wait for him to make his way through the congestion of Haram traffic. As the smell of fried chicken mixed with exhaust fumes undoubtedly hits you, a realization comes to mind that my wife pointed out.

When we come for prayers at the Ka‘bah during Hajj, millions of people gather for it. They come hours in advance, compete for the best spot, and in the most literal sense of things, we wait for ṣalāh.

Back home, where ever it is that we come from, the case is the opposite. We delay praying to the end of the set times, miss them due to negligence, and in every meaning of the phrase, ṣalāh waits for us.

Praying at the Haram can serve as a reminder of this, and those who have done so will testify the same. Especially those who just recently came back from Hajj this year. If you haven’t gone, then inshā'Allāh this post can remind you in the same way.

At Hajj, you go through certain experiences that you cannot and will not find anywhere else. It's simply the nature of Hajj. It has experiences that are unique to it, and those experiences make Hajj itself a unique wonder. That's why you hear people saying, “I miss Hajj.” It's like they're going through withdrawal, knowing that they won't get what they felt except for at that same place and time.

Here are three things that are exclusively unique to Hajj, and perhaps another piece of the puzzle for those who've never gone for Hajj in understanding why it is the journey of a lifetime.

1. Fulfillment of an ancient Prophetic legacy
The rites of Hajj are more than just completing the fifth pillar of Islam. It’s about fulfilling an entire ancient legacy of worshiping Allāh (SWT). From the earliest generation of mankind, we know that the Ka‘bah existed as the first house built for the worship of Allāh. So the land has been sacred since the beginning of humankind during the time of Adam, peace be upon him.

But all of this was intensified during the time of Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him. Allāh told him to raise the foundations and rebuild what was once already a sacred and holy site, and then urged him to call the people to Hajj. While Ibrahim was worried that no one would come to such a place in the middle of the desert, Allāh told him to do his part and leave the rest up to His Lord.

Since then, hundreds of generations have passed with people answering the call, from the followers of Ibrahim, to the pure worshipers living amongst the polytheists of Quraysh, until the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, performing Hajj near the end of his life. 1400 some years later, we have 3 to 4 million people going for Hajj and answering Ibrahim’s once desolate call, each and every year.

At Hajj, you get to be one of the people that answer the call of Ibrahim. And when you get there, see the Ka‘bah, perform ṭawāf around and pray in front it, run between Mount Safa and Marwa and drink from zam zam water like Ibrahim’s wife Hājar, and perform the rites the Prophet (SAW) performed on his Hajj, it’s an incredible historical, Fiqhi, and spiritual experience all-in-one.

2. A time and place to perform any worship possible
My wife was explaining to another sister something so unique about the city of Mecca particularly during the time of Hajj. She told her that it’s the one place in the world where every single act of worship can be performed. Wondering how so? Let’s break up worship into three tiers.

Tier one, acts that we do at home throughout the year like prayer, fasting, i‘tikaf, and giving charity. These can be done anywhere in the world at any time.

Tier two, acts that can only be done in Mecca, such as ‘umrah, ṭawāf and sa‘ī.  These acts are limited to the city and at the Ka‘bah, but are not bound by time.

Tier three, however, is where the uniqueness kicks in. Acts that are only performed during Hajj, such as staying in Mina, going to the area of ‘Arafah to make du‘ā’ on the 9th of Dhul Hijjah and staying the night of the 10th, and performing ramī, the stoning of Shayṭān at Jamarat.

Only during Hajj do you have the ability to perform all three tiers of worship, and focusing on that during your trip makes it one of amazing worship and performing good deeds.

3. The feelings of being in the most unique event in the world
Take a look throughout human history and try to find anything that compares to Hajj. You can’t. It’s the most monumental event that ever existed in mankind, and the feelings you get from it are incredible.

You feel like your ego is crushed when you are in the same city as millions of people all there for the same reason as you. But it’s okay, because it empowers your belief in Islam. I mean, where else will you find up to four million people gathering for the same purpose, to pray to the same God, and ask Him for forgiveness and renewal? And under which religion? Only in Hajj and only in the religion of Islam.

And because of those millions of people, you feel brotherhood and sisterhood in ways you’ve never felt before. The diversity totally stands out too. Arab, Desi, Turkish, Chinese, Guyanese, American, Chechen, African, Japanese, Russian, you name it and you’ll find it. Getting to know people of other backgrounds and cultures increases your love of Islam showing just how far the religion spread.

And lastly, after humbling you and teaching you to appreciate your fellow Muslims, you feel absolutely unique yourself that Allāh chose you to perform the amazing journey during the year that you go. It’s only by His will that anything happens, and when you see old men and women from all over the ends of the Earth there to turn back to Allāh, you realize what a blessing it is that you were chosen to be there, too. This, many people feel, is one of the biggest favors Allāh ever gives them in the span of their entire lifetime.

These aren't the only unique aspects of Hajj. They're just some that stood out to me. If you've gone, what made your journey unique to you, and if you haven't gone, what unique part are you looking forward to the most?

When you come back from hajj, the same thing happens. Everyone asks, “How was it?” Only, you can’t really answer the question.

The hajj journey is really the strangest thing in the world. It’s an intensely exhausting and difficult journey that you want to go back and perform over and over again. It’s a test that pushes you past your physical, mental, and spiritual capacities yet you leave devastated you have to go home. It’s something that has no parallel in anyone else’s life.

So what are you possibly going to answer the question with? It was amazing? It was a life changing experience? It was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life? You can say a lot, but it’ll never really hit home. That’s hajj, an unexplainable wonder, and everyone reading this that has gone will definitely agree.

Yet, here I am trying to recap hajj in blog post form. Why am I going to even try?

Simple.

Firstly, this whole abstract explanation is basically a disclaimer. Me saying you can’t explain hajj as a whole to someone who hasn’t gone is my way of making it clear that I’m not trying to and even if I did I’d fail. It’s too large of a territory to conquer.

Secondly, with that said, what you can do, I feel, is give people a hint of the feelings and experiences you went through from it. Explain the scenario and how one personally gets through it and comes out from it, all while focusing on telling someone who is unfamiliar with the places, terms, and rituals, so as to not lose them in the details.

Think of watching a really good cooking show. My blog posts will be like that episode of your favorite chef showing how to make the perfect steak with the camera zooming in on every juicy detail. But to you, that’s as far as it’ll go. To really reach culmination, you gotta go the market, buy the steak, cook it, and eat it yourself.

That’s what I inshā'Allāh plan to do. Only instead of steak, I plan to give you a slight sense of hajj and the experiences I carried during the journey.

Thirdly, many Hajj recap articles don't really do much for people who've never gone for Hajj. The terms and places are all unfamiliar, and the experiences seem too vague for non-Hajjis to connect with. These recaps won't be like that. They'll be written with someone who's unfamiliar in mind, so inshā'Allāh anyone can benefit.

We ask Allāh (SWT) to accept everyone’s hajj that went this year, before, and forever, and I ask Him to give me what it takes to give you all a taste of hajj and inshā'Allāh inspire you to one day go yourself.

At least that's how I felt after a friend of mine direct messaged me on Twitter saying, “Mubarak bro! Radio Islam is doing a show on Hajj today and I would like you to be a part of it,” after seeing an update I posted about how I was just a week from embarking on the journey to Hajj.

Excited and up for the offer to be on the local radio show based in Chicago, IL, I got in touch with the program, set up the time for an interview and went at it. The interview went well alhamdulillah and I'd like to share the recording with you here today.

Title: Interview With A Future First Time Hajji
From: Radio Islam WCEV 1450AM Chicago
Host: Janaan Hashim
Guest: Saqib Shafi
Length: 15 minutes

Questions I was asked

The host, the very kind sister Janaan Hashim, spokesperson for the Council of Islamic Organizations of Greater Chicago amongst other efforts in Chicagoland, asked me the following questions.

• What kind of expectations of Hajj do you have in mind?
• How have you prepared spiritually to get ready for Hajj?
• What do you think is the purpose of asking for people for forgiveness before going?
• Do you have a guarantee that you will return back from Hajj?
• What made you decide that this is your time to go for Hajj?
• If you were to assume that you could go for Hajj only once in your life, do you think later in your life you would wish that you would have waited to go at an older age?
• What is your biggest challenge on this spiritual journey?
• What reaction have you gotten from family and friends about your going for Hajj?

I wonder how I'd answer the questions or change my answers after coming back from Hajj, or after performing Hajj again in my life. Inshā'Allāh we'll have to wait and see.

For those of you going on Hajj this year (may Allāh give us all a Hajj MabrÅ«r!), what are your answers to these questions?

Radio Islam is a daily Muslim talk radio show broadcasting on WCEV 1450AM in Chicago, IL USA and also live on internet at www.radioislam.com. Tune in everyday at 6:00pm CST for daily programs on Islam, stories, interviews, and more.

This speech by Farhan Abdul Azeez of Canton, MI, however, was hailed as the best speech of the 2009 MMYC (Michigan Muslim Youth Council) Spring Conference.

Right after it ended, every attendee I came across was raving not only about how good it was, but even saying it was the best speech of the conference, only halfway through the entire program.

So what made this speech so good for such a critical crowd?

Firstly, it contained solid and sound subject matter primarily focused on the Qur'an. The book of Allāh is generously filled with wisdom we fail to grab, and even more so for the youth who are disconnected with it. This speech on repentance constantly referred back to the timeless events told in the Qur'an. When you keep it simple and go that route, you can't lose.

Second, the speaker and his words carried social relevance, a huge tactic needed to connect with such a specific audience. Farhan would, for example, connect the topic of gaining mad amounts of taqwa with ascending to the level of a Super Sayian in DragonBall Z, a concept which you may know nothing about but totally hit home for some in the MMYC crowd.

Lastly, the speech was a lot of fun and made easy for the kids while maintaining seriousness and respect for the subject matter presented. There were jokes, but there were also moments of pin drop silence. There was crowd participation. There was even a break in between where Farhan had everyone massage their neighbors and hug them (AlMaghrib style!). Having small tricks like that really went a long way.

So if you're involved with high schoolers or younger, or are looking for a good example of how to cater a lecture towards them, check out this video. It's a great example of the style needed for our younger brothers and sisters growing up with Islam today.

Oh, and the speech is super beneficial, too. It's not just “for kids.” :)

The following article was inspired by a short reminder given by Shaykh Yaser Birjas at an Iftar party.

When Muslims seek the Night of Power (Lailat Al-Qadr) during the last ten nights of Ramaḍān, they often find themselves wondering what the best act of worship is to perform on such a blessed night. Is it praying ṣalāh? Is it reciting the Qur'ān?

While the acts of worship one can perform are many, one of the best we can do is to make du‘ā’. Du‘ā’, the Prophet (S) said, is the best form of worshiping Allāh. Similarly, the Night of Power is the best night in the entire year.

So we have two of the bests amongst their classes. Imagine the power of combining them at the same time. You would be performing the best possible worship during the best possible time.

Greater than or equal to 1,000

The Night of Power is usually associated with being equal to a thousand months. But in the Qur'an in Surah Qadr, Allāh (SWT) answers His question of what is the Night of Power is by stating it is better than, not equal to, a thousand months. The true amount to is left to our imagination.

With that considered, if one were to perform enough du‘ā’ during the Night of Power , the result would be something better than, not equal to, an entire lifetime of making du‘ā’ to Allāh (SWT).

Imam Aḥmad's Du‘ā’ List

It was said about Imam Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal that he would carry around a list of names for people who asked him to make du‘ā’ for, adding requests to his list as they came in. It's amazing that even someone in his position and as busy as he was would fulfill the trusts given to him by the people.

This Night of Power , follow his footsteps and create your own list of du‘ā’ to make for both yourself and for all the people who have asked you to make du‘ā’ for. We all have people who’ve asked us to remember them in our du‘ā’. More often than not, though, we forget to make du‘ā’ for them like they requested. The Night of Power is our chance to make it up to all of them.

And don’t think fulfilling this is just to help others. The Prophet (S) told us if we make du‘ā’ for others, an Angel will make that same du‘ā’ for us. Imagine getting all of what you're asking for others to have for yourself. The bigger your du‘ā’ list, the more you can get.

‘Ā’isha's question

The most critical connection between du‘ā’ and the Night of Power comes from an instance when ‘Ā’isha, may Allāh be pleased with her, asked the Prophet (S) what she should say if she found herself with the Night of Power . The Prophet (S) responded with the well-known du‘ā’, “Allahumma, innaka ‘AfÅ«wwun, tuḥibbu al-‘afwa fa‘afu ‘annÄ«,” which means, “O Allāh! Indeed you are Pardoning, you love to pardon, so please pardon me,” which may already know about.

But try to envision what the scenario is here. ‘Ā’isha didn't ask what she should do if she found the Night of Power. Instead, she asked what should she say. In other words, she knew that if there was one thing to focus on that blessed night, it should be du‘ā’ to Allāh.

On top of that, the Prophet (S) responded with just the advice of making du‘ā’ (and in specific one asking for forgiveness of one's sins). Here is ‘Ā’isha, the most beloved of his family who you would think he would give a huge list of monumental acts of worship to perform, yet even she is being told to make du‘ā’ the priority. If ‘Ā’isha was instructed to do so during the blessed Night of Power , what about us during that night?

A lifetime of Night of Powers

The Prophet (S) once told the Companions that whoever misses out on the benefit of the Night of Power will have lost something irreplaceable. As you're searching the night and making du‘ā’ during every one of the last ten nights, do yourself a favor and make a smart du‘ā’.

Ask Allāh (SWT) to enable you to worship during the last 10 nights of every Ramadan for the rest of your life, guaranteeing that you will always find the Night of Power.

When that du‘ā’ is accepted inshā'Allāh, not only will you have asked Allāh (SWT) for more than a lifetime to grant you this ability, He will give you a lifetime of nights worth more than a lifetime in which you can keep asking to find again and again.

That's a du‘ā’ worth making for a lifetime.