Meet Drama Mama on Muslimmatters

Drama Mama

 

Assalamu Alaikum!

Welcome to the Drama Mama on Muslimmatters. I’m so happy you’re here. Let us get cozy.

My name is Hiba. I’m a ‘very nice girl’ and most days I look exactly like ‘a beautiful princess.’ Well, at least that’s what my daughter tells me and she must be right because I’m raising her to always tell the truth.

I’m 32 years old. I was born and raised in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I’ve lived there and in Toronto, Karachi and Dubai. My heart belongs in all those places and I consider them all home.

I’m married to a guy I call Hums. He’s into books, seafood, politics, and I think, me. He can tell you random trivia. He can do big sums in his head. He knows history like nobody’s business because he’s got a crazy memory. He’s oddly quiet and quite odd. We’ve been testing each other’s patience for nearly ten years now.

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My Beta is 7. He’s really quirky and has a smile that melts hearts. He was reading by the time he was 2 and doing algebra at age 4. However he still doesn’t know how to button his shirt or speak in age appropriate sentences. He throws tantrums like you wouldn’t believe but can’t throw a ball. He loves blueberries, babies and books. He’s different but no one knows quite how. Raising him and writing about his asynchronous development is how I am discovering myself.

Beti, my honest daughter, is 4. She loves pink and glitter and princesses. She adores her older brother and looks like my sister. She is my “verily after hardship comes ease” kid. She’s a talker and makes me laugh every single day. Right now nearly every sentence begins with “Oh my goodness” and ends with “Your majesty.” Her heart is big. So is her head.

Birdy is 1 years old. We joke that she’s our lucky charm because she came as a surprise and was born with a tooth. She looks just like her brother. She is my sunniest baby but also my bravest which means she does terrible mischief every day with a huge smile on her face. This makes yelling at her difficult. (I think she is sloshing around the toilet right now.)

Profile one
I homeschool my kids because currently, I think spending the entire morning in a classroom is mostly a waste of the childrens’ time. I might change my mind tomorrow and put the kids in school but that’s okay too. I love changing my mind.

I think the most important questions and answers in life can be found in children’s literature. Collecting, reading and talking about kids books gives me a great unadulterated pleasure. My favorite afternoons — of late —have been in a bookstore doing story time with a room full of kids.

I’ve always loved writing, but come adulthood, I started writing in earnest at a time when I was feeling particularly lost and uncertain. Like many educated, creative women of my generation who suddenly find themselves in a homemaking role, I too found that the life I had envisioned for myself as a younger me was nowhere to be seen. My husband worked long hours. I had two extremely sensitive and needy young children, one of whom had specialists raising their eyebrows a little. We were bone broke. I have fibromyalgia and my body hurt all the time. My more worldly dreams were lost in the busyness of getting through the daily grind. I was confused and disenchanted. I was angry and frustrated. I yelled at my kids. I fought with my husband. I dreamt of running away. I was a perfect example of someone hiding from their truth.

Today, I still yell at my kids and fight with my husband and dream of running away.

Almost everything is still the same as it was three years ago. The only thing that’s changed is my finally understanding the nature of life. That there are seasons. That when something might be disliked by me it could be beloved by Allah. That a bad day does not a bad life make. Today, I love my life active, honest and HARD every day (hard being the operative word).

And I write, daily, diligently, defiantly because I am trying to practice creativity, gratitude, kindness and most importantly, courage. Because I don’t know much but I do know something about feeling adrift. About feeling like your faith and your purpose has been misplaced somewhere, like the children’s socks. And feeling perpetually like you are somewhere in life and wanting to be somewhere else. And with all of those feelings, I know that surviving and thriving through them, reconciling and triumphing over them, all of it demands two things:

Creativity and courage.

Creativity asks us to build, brick by brick, the life of our dreams. It asks us to look with rose colored spectacles and see the poetry of life where others only see its prose. It asks us to use our hearts and souls and imagination and faith and all that is good and noble in us to get through when we feel we cannot. It helps us aspire towards virtue and a higher purpose than we had previously considered for ourselves.

Courage asks us to be kind to our husbands/wives even when we feel like poking them with something sharp. Courage asks us to be grateful for our kids even when we’re thinking of dropping them off at the nearest adoption agency. It asks us to look for the gold in our lives amidst the ruins of it. It asks us to sail our ship however we know how with the faith that Allah will see us to shore. Courage says there’s nowhere to run and the faster we learn how to show up in our lives the better we can make them. It asks us to face our lives and our destinies head on.

My writing is how I create and how I show up. I show up brave and afraid, and I tell my truth. I write about my joys and my challenges, my flourishing or faltering faith, my parenting and my parents, my husband and my health and my hopes. Sometimes people read my truths and think “Yeah, me too.” Then they tell me their stories and I say “Yeah! Me too!” That’s how we know that We Are All The Same and that we are not alone.

If you want to practice being brave, kind and grateful…if you want to feel less lonely…if you want to read my story and see your story in it…if you just want to know whether my kids are going to end up in therapy or not…stick around.

I hope that my writing here will help you in some big or little way and I know for sure that your reading will definitely help me.

It can be really confusing, this strange wondrous life, and it’s nice to have company while figuring it out.

x
DM

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47 / View Comments

47 responses to “Meet Drama Mama on Muslimmatters”

  1. Zaman says:

    Enjoyable writing. Serious matters presented in a funny way and easy to emphatise. Everyone has similar issues but your positive slant and religious perspective makes it an excellent article. Keep on writing till the kids grow up.

  2. Fatima says:

    You have done it again DM…loved every single bit of it particularly….”It asks us to look for the gold in our lives amidst the ruins of it.”….May Allah strengthen you in every way.

  3. Hena says:

    Avid reader of Drama Mama’s posts on FB – mashaAllah she has a uniquely humorous style and manages to positively be honest about her reflections on children, homeschooling and life in general. Looking forward to your musings on muslimmatters inshaAllah!

  4. Bushra FaiZ says:

    I have known you (virtually ) for three years and every time you post something new it’s like a letter from a friend . Keep it up DM!

  5. Uzma Saqib says:

    i am here too….following you,,,,,beti is an honest child….you are a very good girl MASHA ALLAH

  6. a mirza says:

    Love your honest and natural way of expressing things
    I became a mother month back and so.e nights and days I just lapse into depression thinking if things will work out fine or not
    Reading your blog helps
    JazakAllah :)

  7. I object!

    The initials DM are already taken on MuslimMatters…. so you can use DM2.

    Welcome on board!

    Best Regards
    The Real DM

    *Comment above is posted in a personal capacity and may not reflect the official views of MuslimMatters or its staff*

  8. Fatima says:

    I wish you all the best and will continue to follow here and on facebook and benefit from your writings inshallah : )

  9. Falak says:

    I’ve been reading drama mamas writing for a while now and it’s refreshing and fun and real! So happy to see her featured here.

  10. zeefahem says:

    it,s nice to read ur strggles
    fibromyalgia takes a lot of strength to fight at different fronts like physical pain, insomnia, cognitive defects,memory defects and a lot of other things
    luckily i too have fibromyalgia and i enjoy it
    well u should educate ur relatives about ur condition so that they are more sensitive and understanding
    that way u dont have to fight alone they too will be part of ur fight
    well i pray to allah that u have lots of positivity and tawakkul to enjoy ur condition and life

  11. Asma says:

    Bravo finally i got someone who talk like me . I like it. Would love to talk with you
    I am from bombay now living in vancouver and have a life which is giving me good training in developing good qualities and wishing myself far from it

  12. Reem Faruqi says:

    can’t wait to read more from you! love your FB posts :)

  13. Naima says:

    I would like to receive your writing via email…I don’t like and have Facebook account… I like the way you present your unique style of writing let us all benefit Insha Allah

  14. Nadira says:

    Assalamoaleikum…Hello Hiba..nice to meet you on this website and to read about the little things Allah sw has given you..We all see ourselves in what you are writing and it’s just that we lack the courage,time and so many things to write also about us..Today is gone and tomorrow is a new day Alhamdulilah..We have to go through the challenges of life..Some people are lucky and some need to struggle to make it work..I am one of them…May be some day I also will write about my story inshaa Allah..

  15. I love your writing style and life philosophy! So glad to have found you!

  16. Saharish says:

    It really does feel like your story is mine. It’s inspiring to see someone break through to the surface like this. May Allah bless you and help you in all your efforts and give you the courage to keep going. Ameen!

  17. KB says:

    What a lovely piece of writing!! I’m very interested in seeing the nxt installment. May Allah put barakah in ur writing and health and happiness in your life. Your attitude is very honest a and refreshing. Also, while its clear that you love your husband you do not talk bout him like he s an ever loving angel. Some Muslims writers and bloggers love to praise their husbands to the heavens and its sugary but annoying. He sounds like a human being and a nice guy. Good for you

  18. Aisha says:

    That was rlly sweet subhanAllah

  19. umm says:

    Very well written Mashallah. May Allah bless you & your family and make your article a beneficial for everyone who reads ’em.

  20. Amira says:

    A breath of fresh air – thank you.

  21. Faisa says:

    Beautiful and raw piece! I have not heard of DM before but I’ll be sure to follow you on MM as well as other social media.

  22. Saaqib says:

    Well written, Masha’Allah. Us husbands/dads/men can see some of our stories in your story, as well.

  23. Mariam says:

    I admire your perspective or rather your ability to put perspective. BarakAllah feeki. May Allah give you strength and health and happiness. Ameen

  24. Khadija says:

    The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind. Thank you for this simple, beautiful and unique article, It takes lot of courage for someone to truly tell a story with such challenges positively, just for us (the world) to know things happen which we like and which we dislike but we need to be creative as you mention, have courage and determination, have faith, not to give up or lose hope as hope is what keeps us all alive and the most important keep a smile on your face:). Life is never perfect but we fill it with perfect moments. May Allah keep blessing you and your amazing family.

  25. Bob says:

    Did you know that Hindu’s invented Algebra?

    Is that why between 80 million and half a billion have been ritually slaughtered by, and in the name of Islam?

  26. Jamil says:

    Hi Bob,
    Like the brillian DM said in her article above, the nature of life is like the seasons. It changes periodically. I hope and pray the ‘hate filled’ Bob leaves this works soon and the ‘love filled’ Bob appears soon. I for one would LOVE to see the real Bob come into this world.

  27. Lamin camara says:

    Good morning to my muslim brothers and sisters I wish all of good health and life and forward may the almight Allah bring a peace where ever is war.

  28. Amina says:

    I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us :)
    Def something I can look forward to at the end of a long day :)

  29. Rakibatu Abdul Rauf says:

    Great article. And i read it twice. SAME HERE.

    Maa sha Allah

  30. Sakinah says:

    Wow. Just… wow! I loved this!! :))) mashAllah.

    This is the first time I’ve read your writing & I will be back for more. inshAllah.

  31. Aisha says:

    Subhan Allah. This article is just what I’ve been needing. It feels like you’ve penned down everything I’ve been thinking about since …. a while now. May Allah help you and us with your gift of writing and increase you and your family and bless you and your family in your gift. Ameen :)

  32. The information is very nice and I am very interested.
    may god always give you all the best for us. amen
    I asked permission to write link yes
    http://www.situsobatherbal.com/

  33. kang ibing says:

    Masha’Allah thank you so much!

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