Intimacy Matters with Haleh Banani, Saba Syed and Hena Zuberi: Erroneous Eastern Cultural Beliefs about Female Sexuality
For mature audiences only
Watch Introduction here
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Why many women do not want to engage intimately with their husbands?
– Erroneous cultural beliefs about female sexuality (Sex is dirty. “Pure” women don’t want sex etc.)
– Unsatisfactory intimate experiences (specifically the lack of climax in women due to the misunderstanding on the husband’s part that his wife is not supposed to reach climax for years)
– Media and books creating an unrealistic portrayal of intimacy and raising expectations
How does culture affects how women think?
Families mutilate female sexuality by teaching girls that:
– Sex is bad
– Sex is dirty
– So much so that parents or elders of the family won’t hesitate from scaring off the young women from intimacy
Pernicious effects of fallacious teachings about female sexuality:
– Guilt and shame associated with sexual desires
– Damaging self-esteem
– Aversion towards sex
What can women do to change and re-frame if they have been raised with these beliefs?
– Physical and mental exercises to help change a woman’s concept of sex
How are these cultural beliefs wrong Islamically?
– A detailed analysis of how sex is not dirty in Islam
Some Islamic classes and teachers teach that women who feel desire will not attain the pleasures of Paradise.
While others teach sex as charity (sadaqah) based on the hadith, but limit women’s sexuality when charity (sadaqah) is explained as: seeking reward only from Allāh.
Women then start treating intimacy as merely an obligation, with a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude, not expecting any sensual pleasure. But sadaqah also means truth and giving the best that we have.
– An elaboration on hadith of sadaqah
What are some solutions to counter the way intimacy is introduced in a harmful way to a young man or woman?
– Parenting needs to revolutionized
– Open communication between children and parents
– Parenting workshops
– Open discussions within the communities