Comments on: One Critical Mistake A Single Muslimah Makes
 When Finding Her Mr. Right For Marriage http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/ Discourses in the Intellectual Traditions, Political Situation, and Social Ethics of Muslim Life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:30:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: manal k http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-100827 manal k Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:47:26 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-100827 Or some brothers would "allow" their wife to work ONLY if she foregoes her wish to spend it as she pleases! Ridiculous.. Or some brothers would “allow” their wife to work ONLY if she foregoes her wish to spend it as she pleases! Ridiculous..

]]> By: Seerah http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-100800 Seerah Mon, 20 Jun 2011 19:02:29 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-100800 Am i making a mistake by telling brothers that am a sickle cell patient? cos each time i do the next thing i see is their backs even though most of them are of the AA genotype. What could be responsible for this kind of attitude from them, after all that's the only genotype that's "safe" for me to marry. Each time they make me feel its better not to tell. Am i making a mistake by telling brothers that am a sickle cell patient? cos each time i do the next thing i see is their backs even though most of them are of the AA genotype. What could be responsible for this kind of attitude from them, after all that’s the only genotype that’s “safe” for me to marry. Each time they make me feel its better not to tell.

]]> By: Faruk Ahmed Umar http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-71067 Faruk Ahmed Umar Tue, 06 Jul 2010 15:48:27 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-71067 Please Sister Bint Muhammad do share those questions with other Muslims Sisters. Perhaps it will help. Jazakillahu khairan. Please Sister Bint Muhammad do share those questions with other Muslims Sisters. Perhaps it will help. Jazakillahu khairan.

]]> By: sabirah http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-61640 sabirah Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:49:09 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-61640 and yes, i have seen many good looking/not so good looking couples that perfectly worked out fine and they produced a nice looking bunch of children. @ Talkum that hadith comes into action when we talk about in-laws, I reckon and yes, i have seen many good looking/not so good looking couples that perfectly worked out fine and they produced a nice looking bunch of children.
@ Talkum that hadith comes into action when we talk about in-laws, I reckon

]]> By: sabirah http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-61639 sabirah Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:39:11 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-61639 you guys need to remember, nothing is forever. the girls on the 8, 9, 10 scale would most likely be on the 3, 4, 5 scale after the first or second child or after 10 years. I have seen many awesome wedding and engagement pictures of women that now look like they are my own grandmother a couple of years later. What happened to the custom to ask the imam in the masjid if he knows a suitable brother/sister? How degrading is it to grade women anyway? do you rate after western standards? Remember, Allah knows about the Pamela Anderson and Jessica Biel pictures in your basements... you guys need to remember, nothing is forever.
the girls on the 8, 9, 10 scale would most likely be on the 3, 4, 5 scale after the first or second child or after 10 years. I have seen many awesome wedding and engagement pictures of women that now look like they are my own grandmother a couple of years later.
What happened to the custom to ask the imam in the masjid if he knows a suitable brother/sister?

How degrading is it to grade women anyway? do you rate after western standards? Remember, Allah knows about the Pamela Anderson and Jessica Biel pictures in your basements…

]]> By: Talkum http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-61638 Talkum Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:21:54 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-61638 I have the same observation, bro. Brothers at the 4, 5 level looking for ladies at a 9, 10 level. The relevant hadith that comes to mind is “None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.” I have the same observation, bro. Brothers at the 4, 5 level looking for ladies at a 9, 10 level. The relevant hadith that comes to mind is “None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”

]]> By: khan http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-61637 khan Sun, 14 Mar 2010 21:07:38 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-61637 I noticed alot of times when I speak to brothers who are looking that most of them said that they need someone who are attracted to... The problem is if all females were ranked just based on their physical looks alone, the brothers definition of good looking was those girls who are 8,9, or 10. Thats not good looking, thats gorgeous. If all the brothers want a gorgeous wife, that might be a problem. Specially considering that most of the brothers I spoke to were a 5, 6 or 7 on a scale of 10. So if guys who would rank 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or 10 want girls who are 8, 9 or 10 then there will be an issue. Brothers need to wake up and smell real air. Not all air smells rosy ya ikhwan. For proof drive on New Jersey Turnpike across Elizabeth :) I should look for a sister who at least is on my level in terms of look. Now the deen, yeah go for 8, 9, or 10 because insha'ALLAH we all will strive to get there and we can get there. Looks, unless we resort to cosmetical surgery, the 5 will remain a 5 and the 10 will remain a 10 for some duration of time until we get real old, then we will all be sevens :) I noticed alot of times when I speak to brothers who are looking that most of them said that they need someone who are attracted to…

The problem is if all females were ranked just based on their physical looks alone, the brothers definition of good looking was those girls who are 8,9, or 10.

Thats not good looking, thats gorgeous. If all the brothers want a gorgeous wife, that might be a problem. Specially considering that most of the brothers I spoke to were a 5, 6 or 7 on a scale of 10. So if guys who would rank 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or 10 want girls who are 8, 9 or 10 then there will be an issue.

Brothers need to wake up and smell real air. Not all air smells rosy ya ikhwan. For proof drive on New Jersey Turnpike across Elizabeth :)

I should look for a sister who at least is on my level in terms of look. Now the deen, yeah go for 8, 9, or 10 because insha’ALLAH we all will strive to get there and we can get there. Looks, unless we resort to cosmetical surgery, the 5 will remain a 5 and the 10 will remain a 10 for some duration of time until we get real old, then we will all be sevens :)

]]> By: helper http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-61505 helper Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:55:08 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-61505 JazakAllah khair Shiekh and Sister Wyatt. Can you please give a dua to make things ie: marriage and finding the right spouse quicker. Is there anything that we can read to facilitate our affair. I read the ayat from surah kahf: Rabbana aatina mila dunka rahmatawn wa hayyi' lana, min amree na rashada and this dua Allahumma ya jaami'an naasu li yawmil la raiba fihi ajma baynee wa bayna zawjee and also Allah's names Was'salam JazakAllah khair Shiekh and Sister Wyatt.

Can you please give a dua to make things ie: marriage and finding the right spouse quicker. Is there anything that we can read to facilitate our affair.

I read the ayat from surah kahf: Rabbana aatina mila dunka rahmatawn wa hayyi’ lana, min amree na rashada
and this dua
Allahumma ya jaami’an naasu li yawmil la raiba fihi ajma baynee wa bayna zawjee

and also Allah’s names

Was’salam

]]> By: yakisha http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-60809 yakisha Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:06:35 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-60809 The irony here is that you complain the resumes only mention what they don't want in a husband, but you do the exact same thing. You have not given a single example of what a good resume or description would look like, which would have been helpful. The irony here is that you complain the resumes only mention what they don’t want in a husband, but you do the exact same thing. You have not given a single example of what a good resume or description would look like, which would have been helpful.

]]> By: Ahmad http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/12/one-critical-mistake-a-single-muslimah-makes%e2%80%a8-when-finding-her-mr-right-for-marriage/#comment-60594 Ahmad Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:07:11 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/?p=11789#comment-60594 I want an article in a males perspective. I really liked this one. I think guys are just as clueless when it comes to marriage. I know I am. I read this and started wondering how I would describe myself. I believe know what Im looking for in a wife but Im still very hazy on how to actually go about it all. Im 21 btw so yes a volley of "TOO EARLY, OMG!" comments will come my way from most adults but Id rather know than be told I dont need to know yet. I want an article in a males perspective. I really liked this one. I think guys are just as clueless when it comes to marriage. I know I am. I read this and started wondering how I would describe myself. I believe know what Im looking for in a wife but Im still very hazy on how to actually go about it all. Im 21 btw so yes a volley of “TOO EARLY, OMG!” comments will come my way from most adults but Id rather know than be told I dont need to know yet.

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