Reflecting on what I wrote I feel I should put my words in perspective. I stand behind what I wrote in as much as marriage is as Allah and His Messenger sull Allaho alayhi wa sallam described it, and I believe the conclusion I reached was reasonable.

However, I should have made it more clear that pleasing Allah by a good marriage is only one means of pleasing Him, and that Allah may be well pleased with people who delayed marriage or who never married. And we can all think of examples of such people, alhamdolillah.

And the measure that most matters in this dunya is how close we will have come on the day of our death by our deeds and actions to pleasing Allah. So I apologize sincerely for the defects of my article. And I pray for your success in pleasing Allah in this dunya and akhirah, and likewise for myself and the Muslims.

“He has described the husband and wife as garments for each other. Think about that — if you are unmarried something about you is fundamentally incomplete.”

I never had the chance to get married. I am 40 years old and I never received any proposals, nor did my parents try to help because they didn’t know how. So I lived my life. I wasn’t allowed to “date”, and, I had no one to help me find a muslim spouse. So that’s that.

Am I fundamentally incomplete? I would like to think that I am not fundamentally incomplete, that Allah has made me complete. If I am unmarried, it is because God decided that a husband was not to be; so God has made me incomplete?

As idealistic as this article is, the reality is that in North America, muslim women have a very difficult time getting married, and as my parents always tell me, many of us women do not get married and are not destined to. The men, apparently, have no problem.

jezakkallah!

slaam

You have to understand the big picture whilst looking at the details. In Islam we are told of numerous stories where people are given some sort of authority, i.e. Pharoah, ‘Ad and Thamud, certain leaders of Quraish, Banu Israel at the time of Isa (alayhi salam) etc, and these are the people who did not fulfill the responsibilities they had in relation to their power, resulting in them suffering horrible and unimaginable punishment in this life and the Hereafter.

To put it simply, authority = responsibility = accountability = more things to worry about on the Day of Judgement (which is the last thing you want on that day). The Sahabah understood this, and they feared taking positions of authority.

Coming back to the husband and the wife:

…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (2:228)

Ideally, when a man realizes he has been given a degree of authority in the relationship, it would send a shiver down his spine. All of the stories of the past and fear of standing before Allah on the Day of Judgement would come to him – and he would have a degree of authority,responsibility, and fear that women do not have to worry about at the same level.

There are a ton of things in the family that a man could potentially receive sin for which a woman would not. Essentially what’s being asked of the woman is to love, help and support her husband as her wife so that he could fulfill this sacred trust of epic magnitude, and so that he could do a good job of loving, helping and supporting her as her husband.

From the last sermon of the Prophet (sual Allahu alayhi wasalam):

O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah’s trust and with His permission.

to be honest im kinda feel scared to get married in the future, im just wondering how much of a responsiblilty as a wife i would be carrying….and making sure my husband isnt angry or i get curesd by the angels….i dunno….. thank you anyway for replying i’ve been waiting for someone to help me out with this for a while and all the shiekhs and scholers seem to be dodging these kind of questions……

to be honest, by Allah i woun’t lie to you…, i still don’t really get it ..but thank you very much bro…

pls forward my Q to anyone else u no that can help me make sense of these…i’m quite desperate

salaam walaykum!

jezzakallah!!!!!

my name is firdous and im 15 years old. all my life i always new islam treated muslim women fairly and justly but i reasently discoverde some hadith which stated the following:

I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. even if he were to request her for herself (i.e. to have intercourse with her) whilst she was sitting upon a camel’s saddle, she should not refuse him.”
(Sahih, reported by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn Awfaa)

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
By Him in whose Hand is my soul, if from his foot the crown of his head there was a wound pouring forth with pus, and she (his wife) came and licked that,
then she would (still) not have fulfilled his right.” (Good, reported by Ahmad and others)

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,

“If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not sit when his morning and evening meals were presented until he finished.” (Reported by al-Bazzar and others)

reading this i felt like i am nothing! i felt as though im not really free and i have no right or place ..its just REALLY CONFUSING AND IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT WAY! SOME ONE PLS HELP ME UNDERSTAND THESE HADITH AND MY STATUS AS A WOMAN. for example in another hadith it says somthing like women are broken or bent and if men try and straited them they will break! WHAT DOUES THIS MEAN ABOUT ME..THAT IM BENT THAT IM BROKEN.SOME ONE PPPPPLLLLEAAASSSSEEE HELP ME MAKE SENCE OF ALL THIS WITH A REALLY REALLY GOOD ANSWER

JEZAKALLAH

SALAAAM

please email me a responce