I have gone through the article very thoroughly and thank every one for educating us in the light of islam. I want genuine advice from all of my brothers and sisters on the matter that I have been facing since I got married to Alhamdulillah a very good muslim.

I am well educated girl, working for a multinational company, I have well been trained about Islam, a muslims’s rights by my parents Masha Allah. I belong to a decent family where every one is educated and know duties in Islam very well. I pray regularly as often as I get time. I read Quran and try to understand it. I follow Hadees and sunnah. My husband is a very gentleman person. He too does the same and respects everything in Islam.

Now let me describe what the situation is in our family.
I am staying with my Husband’s younger brother age 23, his mother and his father.
His father is posted in some different city. So we remain 4 people in the house (me, my husband, his brother, his mother)
His mother never prays a single Namaz, Had it been Juma or Ramzan, she will not pray at all. Her favorite job is just watching TV. She watches TV 24hrs. His brother doesn’t do anything, unfortunately he is involved in bad habits at the age of 23 he is still studying in 11th Standard. He is addicted in some habits which is prohibited in Islam (some adultery habits) His mother knows everything about this but doesn’t take any actions.
Me and my husband is responsible for every single work to carry out the house hold activity. Right from the buying vegetables and food till cooking them. I go to work every day 9 oclk and come back by 7 or so. I cook in the morning and come back cook for the dinner, Talk to his mother spend all the time her until 10 until we are feel sleepy. My husband spends all of his time with her. Its 4 months of our marriage now. We get time for each other only when we are going for sleep. His mother tries to listen if we talk something in our bedroom, and ask him what did you talk to your wife? She never allows me going out with my husband anywhere, if we get such opportunity then she will send his brother with us so that he may know what did we talk. I don’t have any one in this city my parents reside in different city. She never told before marriage that she will not allow my parents inside our house. Now she is telling they wont come, I will decide everything. Who will give them food who will work for them. Alhumdolillah my husband ha got all of his relatives in this city, but nobody comes to his house, they don’t have any contacts with any of the relatives. This was an arrange marriage, they never let us meet their relatives.

If my husband is just going on terrace he is supposed to seek permission from her. We cant do a single thing with our own will. For every single thing except going to toilet we need to seek her permission. Everyday before going to bed we need to ask her if we can sleep now. My husband comes from office at 7. and all the time he sits with her just to talk to her and entertain her. She doesn’t go out for a single minute and never leave us alone. Every time she complains she is lonely she is lonely and we don’t care for her.
We advised her to please go and spend one week with your husband u will feel good. But she doesn’t listen, and say this is my house who are you to order me where to go and where not. She is lots of proud. For every single thing she will tell me that her son is an engineer and she made him, she educated him. She will sit in our bed room until she wants had it been 11 or 12 midnight. Despite of having a tiring day in the office and at home we have to bear this. My husband doesn’t say anything and says she is a mother and he has to respect her.
Alhumdolillah I am also an engineer and come from a very respectable and good muslim family. Where Namaz roza these are the first priorities for us and rest come later. If my husband will ask her to pray namaz and keep her busy she will scold him that who are you to teach me. His father doesn’t have any control on his wife. He listens to her whatever she says. She is so much demanding that sometimes I doubt who is the wife its me or her. My husband takes her to movies hall, so that he gives her a good week end, dine her in good restaurants, I never complain on these things. Just kept praying Allah give me lots of patience.

Recently after doing all these they kicked us out of the house, and we kept roaming here and there looking for some rented place. They asked for all the money back from my husband that they spent in his education and fooding My Husband returned it.
She is like made us awake the whole night and give us scolding, she knocks out door at 5 oclk and gives us lectures till 11 12 noon in one sitting. We are working for private companies, she will not think this. Many a times we don’t go to work coz she wanted to scold us. Now I have been fed up with all of this.
I love my husband very much and am very happy with him. He also loves me.
As we have already been kicked out we want to live separately. Also his brother has a bad eye on me. So I feel very insecure with staying them. I have not informed my Parents about all this happening with me coz I don’t want to bother them. I have not seen any married life happiness since I got married.

Now his relatives are asking us to comeback and live with them coz his father is not keeping well coz of all this tension. Every one knows who is responsible for all this.
But still they are forcing me and saying You are doing wrong You can not separate a son from his mother. I know in Islam its advised to stay in a separate house when you face this kind of situation.

I beg all of you please advise me in the light of Islam.
You can write me on —– sshari.akhtar@gmail.com

Allah give me immense Patience to sustain myself.

another example, when a parent enforces not practicing islamic pillars because they will be burdensome on the child, the child learns to ignore islamic pillars (praying fajr on time, fasting during ramadan during the school year) or considers the islamic pillars as difficult obligations to be fulfilled, drudgingly. as compared to a parent who encourages the child to do ibadat before they become an obligation on the child, the child learns to enjoy his commitment to Allah. or, further comparing that parent to a parent who mandates the pillars of islam for a child upon whom it is not obligatory, the child learns to detest the compulsion of fulfilling the duties to Allah.

The article was a bit rambling but made some very good points. mashaAllah

I look forward to more postings of this nature – ma sha’ Allah :)