Comments on: Sex & the Ummah: As A Virgin http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/ Discourses in the Intellectual Traditions, Political Situation, and Social Ethics of Muslim Life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:02:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kadidia http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-101143 Kadidia Sun, 26 Jun 2011 20:03:21 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-101143 I agree with some of your thoughts brother. However statistics have shown that women find their way to Islam more than men. In fact there are more women converting to Islam than men. Jazakallah! I agree with some of your thoughts brother. However statistics have shown that women find their way to Islam more than men. In fact there are more women converting to Islam than men.

Jazakallah!

]]> By: barbiee http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-95580 barbiee Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:17:25 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-95580 Absolutely right... 100% Absolutely right… 100%

]]> By: Hussain http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-92340 Hussain Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:48:20 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-92340 Salaam, There is a double standard in which young generation men get away with it, but this is only by physical default of men not having hymens (obviously) thus their virginity cannot be attested. Having said that, it is for the parents generation to put the same restrictions on their sons as on their daughters. I know a few families whose sons have an active sex life outside marriage, as students, while the daughters are kept looking holy. Parents need to be consistent with how they bring up their daughters and sons. I'm saying this, myself, as a male student. For example, not allowing their sons to go out late at night- parents cannot be that ignorant as to what their sons are up to. However, alot of people see an inconsistency in why women are more accepting of a guy's bad past while men are less accepting. Such a question should be asked to the sisters. Why do they accept guys they know have <em>conveniently </em>just got interested in deen just before marriage and who most certainly have a past with women. Nothing is stopping women from being choosy with men in this regard. What enrages sisters about this is simply being excluded from being considered fro marriage- I can tell you male students looking for marriage (but who are disregarded because they are not working full time yet) are just as annoyed since they are being excluded from being considered even though their degrees are being close to finished. It may sound rather over simplified but women do, inspite of what said, place choosy expectations on financial security etc. while men tend to be fussy over attraction. The immigrant community are too fussy in this regard. Coloration etc. on women while finance on men. Most people would agree a jobless muslimah could still get married but a jobless or even part-time working brother will find it near impossible to find a spouse. A guy who has a questionable past with women can still get married (once he's working a fairly good job) while a sister who lost her virginity would find it hard to get married.....so it all works out about even in the end. This also shows where men and women in the 21st century still place their priorities. Stereotypes such as the rich ugly old man with the beautiful young wife may be exaggerations but all stereotypes have some degree of truth behind them otherwise they would not have been formed in the first place. This also sheds light on the fact that the ultimate issue for men is always issues relating to sex while for women its money (I know this is a crude simplification but it does shed light on the mechanics of what's happening in the immigrant community's mindset: what degree does he have...Oh she's very fair skinned etc..) Islamically, there is something beautiful about 2 people keeping themselves and breaking intimacy with eachother for the first time in marriage. When you have a fling with someone outside marriage- you're betraying your future wife/husband. Salaam,
There is a double standard in which young generation men get away with it, but this is only by physical default of men not having hymens (obviously) thus their virginity cannot be attested. Having said that, it is for the parents generation to put the same restrictions on their sons as on their daughters. I know a few families whose sons have an active sex life outside marriage, as students, while the daughters are kept looking holy.

Parents need to be consistent with how they bring up their daughters and sons. I’m saying this, myself, as a male student. For example, not allowing their sons to go out late at night- parents cannot be that ignorant as to what their sons are up to.

However, alot of people see an inconsistency in why women are more accepting of a guy’s bad past while men are less accepting. Such a question should be asked to the sisters. Why do they accept guys they know have conveniently just got interested in deen just before marriage and who most certainly have a past with women. Nothing is stopping women from being choosy with men in this regard. What enrages sisters about this is simply being excluded from being considered fro marriage- I can tell you male students looking for marriage (but who are disregarded because they are not working full time yet) are just as annoyed since they are being excluded from being considered even though their degrees are being close to finished. It may sound rather over simplified but women do, inspite of what said, place choosy expectations on financial security etc. while men tend to be fussy over attraction. The immigrant community are too fussy in this regard. Coloration etc. on women while finance on men.

Most people would agree a jobless muslimah could still get married but a jobless or even part-time working brother will find it near impossible to find a spouse. A guy who has a questionable past with women can still get married (once he’s working a fairly good job) while a sister who lost her virginity would find it hard to get married…..so it all works out about even in the end. This also shows where men and women in the 21st century still place their priorities. Stereotypes such as the rich ugly old man with the beautiful young wife may be exaggerations but all stereotypes have some degree of truth behind them otherwise they would not have been formed in the first place. This also sheds light on the fact that the ultimate issue for men is always issues relating to sex while for women its money (I know this is a crude simplification but it does shed light on the mechanics of what’s happening in the immigrant community’s mindset: what degree does he have…Oh she’s very fair skinned etc..)

Islamically, there is something beautiful about 2 people keeping themselves and breaking intimacy with eachother for the first time in marriage. When you have a fling with someone outside marriage- you’re betraying your future wife/husband.

]]> By: Irfan http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-76737 Irfan Wed, 22 Sep 2010 10:08:29 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-76737 gravity of the sin is equal in the eyes of Allah.-What does "Allah" mean here? Who is the writer calling Allah? gravity of the sin is equal in the eyes of Allah.-What does “Allah” mean here? Who is the writer calling Allah?

]]> By: Hala http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59781 Hala Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:48:54 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59781 i think the bedheets thing is disgusting unnecesary embarassing and down right shameful for a society that encourages modesty and shyness etc especially for the women how this can be considered not shameful is beyond me, you woudlt display her periods so why display that why are people so unbeleivably ignorant a3udbilah however i do beleive that virgiity is a good and great and wnderful thing and not backwards , saves people from STDs makes your wedding night special, and is encouraged in islam, why would you want to have sex with a random guy youll never see again and lose your virginity to him and then get married a non virgin is beyond me i think muslims are the ones who place more importance and value on these things and rightly so, like i was watching a couple who lived together slept together had kids together and then decided to get married, what the hell of a difference does being married make now? its like wedding party, back to your life, i dont know its all the more special to get married then have it, then have kids and have a life like that its like people are so into doing everything back to front lately salaamz hala i think the bedheets thing is disgusting unnecesary embarassing and down right shameful for a society that encourages modesty and shyness etc especially for the women how this can be considered not shameful is beyond me, you woudlt display her periods so why display that why are people so unbeleivably ignorant a3udbilah
however i do beleive that virgiity is a good and great and wnderful thing and not backwards , saves people from STDs makes your wedding night special, and is encouraged in islam, why would you want to have sex with a random guy youll never see again and lose your virginity to him and then get married a non virgin is beyond me i think muslims are the ones who place more importance and value on these things and rightly so, like i was watching a couple who lived together slept together had kids together and then decided to get married, what the hell of a difference does being married make now? its like wedding party, back to your life, i dont know its all the more special to get married then have it, then have kids and have a life like that its like people are so into doing everything back to front lately
salaamz
hala

]]> By: Hala http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59780 Hala Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:44:30 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59780 i think you should tell because otherwise he might feel misled and like angry?, however as i understand muslim men do recognise that revert women have drunk alchohol dated and maybe had sex, so if he really is interested in a revert and cares for her that shouldnt matter, if god forgives it who the hell is he to judge? salaamz hala i think you should tell because otherwise he might feel misled and like angry?, however as i understand muslim men do recognise that revert women have drunk alchohol dated and maybe had sex, so if he really is interested in a revert and cares for her that shouldnt matter, if god forgives it who the hell is he to judge?
salaamz
hala

]]> By: Hala http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59779 Hala Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:42:22 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59779 why is it ridicilous that he wants to marry a virgin when his relgion states that virginity is encouraged for both men and women why does he want to marry a loose person when he has saved himself and followed the commands of allah?, ofcourse i dont agree with displaying bedsheets etc but making out virginity is a bad thing is also plain ridicilous salaam hala why is it ridicilous that he wants to marry a virgin when his relgion states that virginity is encouraged for both men and women why does he want to marry a loose person when he has saved himself and followed the commands of allah?, ofcourse i dont agree with displaying bedsheets etc but making out virginity is a bad thing is also plain ridicilous
salaam
hala

]]> By: Hala http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59778 Hala Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:39:29 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-59778 dont go through the trouble of restoring your hymen just dont have sex remain a virgin keep your dignity show some self respect , follow your own faith, i dont know why women have become obsessed with competing with men , it is not your husband who will be questioned for your sins, its women who give men such position of authority by ignoring what Allah said and going through impossible situations not to be "found out" by their dads. bros husbands etc good god hala dont go through the trouble of restoring your hymen just dont have sex remain a virgin keep your dignity show some self respect , follow your own faith, i dont know why women have become obsessed with competing with men , it is not your husband who will be questioned for your sins, its women who give men such position of authority by ignoring what Allah said and going through impossible situations not to be “found out” by their dads. bros husbands etc
good god
hala

]]> By: Revert girl http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-55500 Revert girl Tue, 15 Dec 2009 23:08:32 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-55500 Assalamu Alaikum If a girl lost her virginity while she wasn't muslim yet and then later on when she knew Islam she reverted and never had sex again once Muslim, should she tell to the men who proposes her that she is not a virgin from her non muslim past? she is so practicing now that people hardly believes she ever had boyfriend, should she tell her husband to be that she is not virgin when he is thinking she definitively is virgin ? Assalamu Alaikum

If a girl lost her virginity while she wasn’t muslim yet and then later on when she knew Islam she reverted and never had sex again once Muslim, should she tell to the men who proposes her that she is not a virgin from her non muslim past? she is so practicing now that people hardly believes she ever had boyfriend, should she tell her husband to be that she is not virgin when he is thinking she definitively is virgin ?

]]> By: racheal http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-55313 racheal Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:47:44 +0000 http://muslimmatters.org/2008/07/14/sex-the-ummah-as-a-virgin/#comment-55313 top aticle BEAUTIFUL DOUBLE STANDARDDS AND SILLY CULTURES ARE THE ROTTEN ROOTS top aticle

BEAUTIFUL DOUBLE STANDARDDS AND SILLY CULTURES ARE THE ROTTEN ROOTS

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