As a mother of two I was very impressed by this article. Ma sha Allah you’re very wise for your age:) I pray Allah reward you and your parents!

My children are still very young, but it scares me to think that someday I’m going to have to worry about this. But you are absolutely right that it starts first and foremost in the home. We have to set a good example for our children, and the best example is the example of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa salaam). Just like you mentioned in your article, if parents confuse children with culture, they (the children) are bound to to go astray one way or another.

I remember being a teen and remember how tempting it was to try to fit in..but to all those teens out there..hold on to the rope of Allah because there is nothing more amazing than being a Muslim! And may Allah guide us all onto Siratul Mustaqeem.

wa as salaamu alaikum
umm Hafsah (and Musa) :-)

AlHamdulillah! :)
Yes, you have permission to reproduce any of my articles as long as full credit is given and cited… jazaakillaahi khairan.

Why one Muslim girl became a born-again virgin …….

Sorry, I had to fish your comment out of the spam box… jazakAllahu khair for the kind words :)

About the story you linked. It’s a tragedy and I have yet to hear or read of Muslim condoning the man’s actions, but what is your point concerning the link? That his behavior is indicative of Muslim fathers because I know that’s far from the truth.

Any violence the man perpetrated was directly against the teachings of Islam and the examples set by the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). More likely he’s just an angry man who wrongly took out his frustrations on his innocent kids. I could point to any number of similar cases involving people of other faiths or no faiths.

As to Muslim parents being hypocrites. Some are and some aren’t. Being Muslim doesn’t make them immune to any human foibles. I’m not excusing bad parenting but it’s prevalent in all cultures/religions.

“I mean who wants to be Muslim if it means being an angry, violent, cranky loser.”

Where exactly did you dig up this stereotype as I have never really heard this one, and I have been born and raised in the states and am a product of the public school systems.

Most Muslim parents are hypocrites. They don’t make any effort to have a decent relationship with their kids. Just yell, bark haram/halal or worse. Most Muslim kids are not like you guys, they are lonely, normal human beings who just want to fit in. Masjids are not welcoming unless you are from the right family or ethnic group. Aunties are extremely judgmental, jumping on the girls for the littlest thing. Who cares who is not wearing hijab or who is wearing nail polish if you won’t even be friendly and polite to them. Why would they even listen. If parents/adults actually lived Islam, showed some compassion toward their children and other youth in the community we would not see such rebellion. I mean who wants to be Muslim if it means being an angry, violent, cranky loser. Kids see whats around them and make decisions accordingly.

Social issues, from people who’ve had experience.

Just thought had to be said. Masha’aAllah keep it up.
—

To SrAnonymous
“Talk to them”

- translates to Listen to them.
More Listening, less talking.
Relate to them – people open up to people they can relate to, simple as that. If you can’t relate to them. Take a nice secondary role and help as you can. People usually know clear haram and halal, they don’t need a savior coming in their face, they need an attentive ear, and someone who shows that they understand where they are coming from, and give THEM in THEIR eyes a ‘realistic alternative,’ whatever that means for them.

And lastly, on the topic of recent dicussion, the vast majority these kids with dual lifestyles. They come from good middle to upper middle class affluent families (how often do you find a LARGE number of them from ‘ghettos or wards’?). Parents who are doctors and engineers, etc. That sent them to ‘sunday and summer school.’ They were never communicated properly. They got a “pakistan zindabad/filistine is the cause!” version of islam they never related to; and they all were made to think…

… This isn’t home. Home is “over there.”

Newsflash to them: America IS home (and just a side rant: all due respect, we are muslims. we love our muslims brethren and do whatever we can to help them, and may Allah alleviate their cause everywhere. But raising your kids like they LIVE in palestine or pakistan is not going to alleviate palestine or pakistan. It’s raising them as conscientious, ambitious, self governing, goal oriented, servants of Allah THAT care for their muslims BECAUSE it’s part of their religion to, “You have not believed unless you love for your brother what you love for yourself.”).

We need indegenous and those of us who were grown here to STEP UP.

IBM commercial style, “stop talking. start doing.”

WE relate to them. WE have to go OUT OF OUR WAY to cater and show we CARE. WE love our sisters and we don’t WANT them to be out in a club. WE love our brotha’s and we want for them to stop wanting to be ‘gangsta’ or wannabes, etc.

And the first step is,

To listen.

The second is,

To truly care.

WAllahu ‘Alam

As to both your questions, well, it’s pretty much all laid out in the article! I’ve listed both causes and “solutions,” although they’re quite general… specifics are hard to list, though, because it differs on a case-to-case basis.