interesting..

I went a muslim school until i was 13 years old – did that make me more spiritual than my cousins who attend catholic schools? Maybe not spiritual – but I’d say our (my sibblings and i) islamic values were stronger – more deep rooted. Somethings were just never questioned. Like hijab for example, was just so obvious for my sister and i – than it was for our cousins. I think it did build grounds for spirituality – we knew the knowledge, we just had to take that extra leap to practice it.

And also, from parents’ view – they can only do so much for their kids – they can send the kids to islamic schools/ madrasahs, and hope and pray that Allah guides them.

This is an important topic you raise Anonymouse. From the perspective of work I’ve done with youth I’d say the following:

– I’ve begun to think that very little can actually be taught to children. They can memorize things, and they can learn to imitate behaviors they see, but it takes life experience and maturity to actually understand and internalize things. Perhaps this is why traditionally people would concentrate more on having children memorize, which they can do. I know we look at someone who has memorized a large amount of Qur’an and doesn’t understand much of it and sometimes even behaves badly and we get very discouraged by this but certainly people in the past also saw this and maybe they just had more patience to realize that the benefits will come when maturity and experience are added to what has been memorized.

– As I mentioned above children do imitate and to focus on your explicit question, spirituality cannot be taught like a school subject but it can and must be modelled. Again, one may not see the results right away, but if one develops a relationship with younger people, one’s behavior (not so much one’s words…which will be hardly listened to and quickly forgotten) will have a long term influence on the youth. And while it helps to be very charismatic or have other qualities that the kids will naturally look up to, at the end of the day in my experience kids will love and respect anyone that actually takes an interest in and devotes time to them. Lectures don’t help much and will often turn the kids off, but if you actually show you care about the kids through your actions, they will even let you lecture them and they will still love you.

So, I believe in two things — first, we should enable our kids to have opportunities to memorize certain things about the deen so that they can draw on it later, I mean which one of us that is not a hafidh doesn’t wish that we had been forced to memorize at least some of the Qur’an when we were younger? Second, we should create opportunities for youth to form relationships with young adults who can be role models of positive behavior and who are willing to care about and invest time in these youth.

One thing I think you and others have written about before Anonymouse is the reality in our time and place of this extended adolescence where youth are taught to basicaly rebel against any authority figures around them and to act as if they don’t care about anything. (Some of our youth, for example those in the suburbs are able to become completely absorbed in superficial things…other segments of our youth population, while also caught up in material concerns also have to worry about real issues like poverty and the threat of violence as a daily reality). During this time, youth are forming their own identity so it is extremely important for good role models to be around them but being around them at this stage often requires a tremendous amount of sabr, for you need to persevere thorugh a lot of frustration and trials and you may not really see results for years into the future.

Those are just some of what my experience has taught me, I really look forward to what others have to say.

Allaah knows best.

sister anonymouse,

in our country we are planning to form islamic schools for little children. Can you please tell me about ur curriculum, teachers (their qualification) etc ?

sorry to divert from the topic.

I pressed submit too soon.

We need to work on the real issue within our Ummah. The main issue is lack of certainty in our faith. This is the problem we have. Our children probably see their parents not practicing, or someone near them not practicing. They don’t see them really believe what they claim to believe, even if they do ‘believe’.

We need to work on our adults in order to really make a change in our children, in my honest opinion. How can we expect them to be right if we are all over the place? SubhanAllah, sometimes I think it’s better that some people had no kids. The responsibility is too much, way too much. If we aren’t going to do our part (because things may still go wrong), we will be held accountable for it.

Also, in my opinion, I think we have many side issues which children see, do etc. I could start naming them based on what I saw in my parents that made me look for my emptiness in the dunya, but maybe not.

I also disagree that spirituality can’t be taught like a subject. It can be taught. But it needs the right person, and that person has had to have taken the medicine and that medicine has had to work on them to a certain degree.

I think a lot has to do with the parents.
What is the relationship between the parents and children? Also has a love of Allah and Islam been instilled in the child’s life since a young age.
In my own experience with my four children for example…I have exposed them to my love of nasheeds and dhikr from a young age and they too love these things. So I think that what surrounds them has a profound effect on them.
So do I think spirtuality can be taught, I think its 50/50. 50 percent is taught by outside influences…parents, community, etc…and the other 50 percent is you.

Assalam Alaikum,

Let me tell you my experience of how I grew up so that insha’allah it will help others understand what we really need to help create good muslims.

Until 6th grade, I went to public school. Both my parents, alhumdulilah brought me up in an Islamic environment AT HOME. Now that I think of it, if I still stayed in public school I would have been doing all the same things that other not-so-good-muslims do.

The turning point was when my parents decided to send me to a Maddressah. At that point, the dual personality I had(act muslim at home, not at school) was totally destroyed because now I was being taught the same thing in school and out. Though I stayed there for only about 2and a half years, it changed me a lot. After that two and a half years, I had my thinking all straightened out. (Mainly thanks to my principal)I was in my heart a muslim at all times.

For the next two years in high school, I admittedly had an awful time but not because I didn’t want to fit in. It was more because I didn’t want to fit in. I didn’t want to go hang around with girls, I didn’t want to listen to music, and I didn’t want to do drugs, etc. These were all things that my fellow Muslim brothers & sisters did. I stuck around as much as I could with YM. The brothers in my neighbornet really helped me alot. At this point though, I would call myself a muslim on the outside. That’s because I was the perfect Muslim label but on the inside it was a whole different story.

After that two years, I moved to Pakistan and then I totally changed again. I already had my beliefs straightened out.Now I started acting on those. I started missing less prayers, praying on time, in Jama’ah, started making du’a more often, and thinking about Allah much more. Now Alhumdulilah, I feel that I can actually call myself a bit spiritual.

From my experience, what I can say is that muslim schools can do a lot but you have to have a good administration. I mean excellent. The administration has to be able to communicate with the students in their everyday life not just at school time.

Also, I agree that parents have quite a big role(more in terms of religiousity than spirituality) but the as Nirgaz said the main part comes from YOU.

Assalamualaykum
I went to an islamic school all through high school, I would say that it didnt make me a better person, but rather it just taught me the basics of my deen. In my school if the children were forced to go to the school, and were corrupted when they entered the school; they got out still corrupted. Muslim parents assume that Islamic schools protect their children from harm, rather what they neglect is that the only prevention starts with the home. The only time i truely appreciated and learned the deen was when I graduated from an islamic school and went to university, and saw as some might say it “the outside world”, I was exposed to things I have never seen in my life. I mean i couldve joined the masses and abandon my hijaab, but all of a sudden I joined the MSA and quickly associated myself with Muslims. Unfortunately sisters I knew who graduated from the same islamic didnt have such a happy ending..why? Walahu alam
But nowadays Islamic schools are only focused on teaching secular knowledge and not islamic knowledge. I remember we had an arabic class every semeseter and we were always taught the same words, and religion class was a joke, how many times does somebody have to tell you about the 5pillars of islaam and the 6 branches of imaan.

My suggestion would be not to limit your children to just an islamic school, but rather help them test the waters and see the other side. Its risky, but it is the only way to know whether the knowledge you teach your children or the islamic school teaches them, benefits them in any way. One of my sisters was the only one who never went to an islamic school in my family, we always thought she would be a rebel, but alhamdulilah she’s turned to be a good muslimah.

What kind of teaching environment would be most conducive to arousing a sense of spirituality in the students?

not a classroom setting thats for sure. They automatically assume that what they will learn is something they need to memorize, and not feel it in their hearts.
And again it depends on the age group your teaching, you cant expect 10 year olds to feel something in their hearts when you talk about taqwa as opposed to 17 year old who knows that at their age, they should be fearing Allah.

If you are in a regular highschool—you wish you were in an islamic one. If you were in an Islamic highschool–you wish you were in a regular one.

I think it’s all up to Allah–I went to madrassah and sunday school and it got me interested but it was more entertainment type (jinn stories, qiyamah signs). I didn’t get spiritual until I started meditating and doing hifz on my own.

I think the only way to get spiritual is when you feel as if Allah is teaching you–not directly, but through channels.

Exactly brother Dawud. Islam is everything. It’s not a set of laws and that’s it. Rather, the purpose of these laws is to reform us as people, to bring us closer to Allah.

I think I may right about my upbringing and the lack of spirituality I had as a child on TM insha’Allah.

Jazaakumullaahu khairan to all for your insightful comments!

While I wrote this post thinking mostly about children, I’m also starting to think about young adults. The girls (young women!) I know don’t seem to feel very spiritual either, and the first couple attempts at making it seem more relative to them were greeted with cynicism and confusion.

I’m also thinking more about one-on-one talks with those aged 11 – 15, because sitting in a small circle and making concepts such as taqwah and ihsaan no longer abstract, but practical and applicable to them as individuals, really does seem to work – the expressions on their faces aren’t ones of boredom, and if you get them to speak as well, they’re forced to pay attention and really think about it.

Once again, jazakumullaahu alfu khair!

Surah fatir:

[28] And likewise of men and Ad-Dawâbb (moving (living) creatures, beasts), and cattle are of various colors. It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allâh. Verily, Allâh is All-Mighty, Oft-Forgiving.

Hmmm. I went back to re-read this, and I believe that it all depends on how we define spirituality. In terms of Iman, only Allah bestows that on a person.

Wa ‘alaikumus-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatu,

@ SrAnonymous: Nope, I haven’t read that book… I’ll look it up, though – shukran for the suggestion!

It’s called tasawwuf.

Can Spirituality be taught…Im not so sure. I went to both Islamic and Public schools growing up and so did all of my childhood friends..unfortunalty many of them have now gone “bad”. You cant have spirituality without knowledge, so what the Islamics school do is provide students with the knowlegdge they need to “Know Allah” and then all you can do is pray for Allah to guide them on this path, in the end He willl choose who He leads on his path and who He will lead astray, but you need that knowledge to start off with.