I love reading about the way Rasoolallah, salallahu ‘alayhi wa salam, dealt with little children. The mercy just exudes from his being, so freely. May Allah make us as merciful to our children! Ameen.

I am not married, but i am trying my level best to get ‘clued up’ about parenting now, so i don’t have a panic attack when the time comes, inshallah. (Even though nothing can really prepare you for the shock, i’m sure!).

Has anyone watched the programme SuperNanny? I watched a few episodes awhile back, and i found it quite amazing, mashallah. I hope it wasn’t a ‘rigged’ show, but assuming that it wasn’t, the two lessons that came across consistently for reforming an unruly child (or keeping your child ruly in the first place) were:

1) The naughty corner.
2) Quality time.

Basically, both of these points are linked, that is, a child wants attention from their parents – it’s natural. However, they aren’t so fussy about what kind of attention that is. If they subconsciously know that the only way to get you to interact with them, is to be naughty, they will do it. So, the remedy to the problem lies with the parents. They have to alter the type of attention they give to their children, from “bad” (in response to naughty behaviour) to “good”.

1) The naughty corner (or step, or room, or any space that you can spare!) is the place where a child is sent when they have done something wrong. First, it is explained to them in simple, yet firm terms, what they did wrong, and why, and they are warned that if they repeat the wrong action, they will be sent to the naughty corner. If they then persist in the naughtiness, they then have to spend a certain numbers of minutes there, one minute for each year of their age, i.e., if they are five years, five mins, if they are ten, ten minutes etc. During that time, the parent should not give them ANY attention. If the child leaves the space, they are not to be smacked, or shouted at. Simply take them by the hand (without saying anything) and put them back in the naughty zone. If the child is particularly unruly, then this may take some time to kick in… but this is where your ‘infinite’ patience comes in! ;)

2) Less “bad” attention, more “good” attention. The child should be rewarded with praise when they do something pleasing. But more importantly, the parent(s) should make a conscious effort to spend ‘quality time’ with the child INDEPENDENT of any good or bad behaviour. Basically, just have some fun with them! They’re your kids, why else did Allah make them silly and cute, if not to have some play time, together? :) This will teach the child that he/she does not have to throw tantrums, or behave badly, just to get your attention. You’re giving it to them freely, cos you love them!

These are the two lessons that i will inshallah, never forget. They are so simple, and quite common-sensical, but the results i saw were so amazing, i was sold!

May Allah make it easy for us to raise pious, God-fearing children, that will be a source of joy, blessing and reward for us. Ameen.

I’m still in shock about that percentage of gulf children! subhanAllah, 70%!! That’s like 3 out of 4 children.