- Surprise him with SEX as often as possible, and make it as good as possible.

If this is good, it is very very difficult for the husband to even be a little annoyed with his wife.

There has to be a middle ground.

From my bad experience in my marriage (Divorced) , a woman should never do any of those things if the husband does not try from his side. It will only make her seem desperate and too needy/clingy.

I did all those things that a woman should do and more (really), and I got 2 out of the things a man should do to please his wife

If however, the husband does his part of all those lists to make the wife happy, the wife will do everything in her power to make him happy.

Please newly married women, don’t think that happiness will come from you doing everything in your power to make the man happy, because if he does not reciprocate the actions and shows his appreciation/love, then it will just lead to him to believe that he can hurt you or ignore you all he wants and you will take no actions because “you love him”

Anyways, my apologies for the cynical opinion, though this is from my experience of 1.5 years of marriage. Alhumdillah I divorced him because I don’t need such treatment in my life.

Ma sallama

Props to sister Khawla Hurayrah, i thought your suggestions were great! but

#57. Have mercy for her weaknesses

Seriously?

My dearest Brothers, how about:
1. Respect her intelligence
2. Encourage her to persue her career, passion, or dreams
3. Support her by pitching in around the house so she can persue her dreams. (This works both ways, If she has something more to talk to you about then dirty diapers, the latest gossip, and how she spent all your money you will certainly be more interested in her as well)
4. Engage in intellectually stimulating conversations with her.
5. Ask for her opinion/advise before making decisions
6. Dont do anything to make her feel deficient or inferior
7. Exercize together
8. Take interest in activities she enjoys (youre not the only one wtih hobbies and interests, and believe it or not we do more then just gossip and go shopping)
9. Watch TV shows with her that she enjoys…yes even if its reality TV shows
10. Read the same book together and discuss, Teach Islam to each other.

These are things which endear me to my husband and things that muslimahs want in this day and age. Statistics show more women then men will be graduating from higher education. . And yes this also means we will be more financially self-sufficient, which means we want more out of YOU in the relationship, not just your money. We want a COMPANION. We have brains and we’re using them, so please keep up.

Women are naturally (and taught socially to be) well mannered (don’t burp,fart,pick ones nose etc. in front of people). Unfortunately husbands (after developing a standardized level of comfort) decide that its okay (infact intimate) to express these sounds in front of their wives. Please these things disgust the female mind much more than the male. Avoid them as much as possible.

Women are shy by nature (generally). Do not expect them to open up particularly intimately even some years after the marriage. Give them their time and space before forcing them to declare private feelings. Please DO NOT compare tabloid/virtual women in this matter saying “…but i read that women love this etc.” Each person is an INDIVIDUAL. Respect that.

I’ll see if I can add some more after talking to my husband :)
Asslam u alaikum

I’m not married as of yet, but, insha’allah, I’m somewhat on the path and may get engaged soon. Upon reading the comments in this topic, I found that either I was so very different from other men, or– most of the Sisters didn’t understand their husbands enough. Now, there are many things a man may do to be a better husband– I am sure. However, as the brothers have more to read than the sisters, let me add a few things for our male counterparts– insha’allah, it may offer in sight, and help them in their marriage (and, be’idhnillah, mine too!).

Firstly; Spend our money. We work hard and long so that you can enjoy the benefit. We may whine and make noise about it once in awhile, but nothing really makes a man feel worthy, unless his wife is wearing his entire net worth. (Don’t take “entire net worth” literally!)

Secondly; Don’t cook the same ol’ same old. Many of us young men are desperate to try food that our mothers didn’t make. If you keep making the same biryani, lahmah, etc, it gets pretty boring. Also, don’t always cook. No food in the Fridge is a good excuse to go out and try a new restaurant.

Third; Always groom yourself– inside and out. Us, good Muslim men, lower our gazes in a society where it’s really hard and “strange” to. Therefore, present us with something halaal and beautiful to keep our gazes on. Another note; don’t embarrass us in front of our friends or colleagues. If your husband is wearing a posh suit, or even just dresses nicely– meet his standards!

Fourth; Trust us, and say that you do. Instead of saying “Did you close the door on the way out?!” either let him learn from his mistake, or let him be the one to see it– he’ll correct it himself.

Fifth; Show him that he’s so important to you. A man needs to feel needed, in a relationship. If he doesn’t feel that you are so desperately in love with him, or are so grateful of his awesomeness, he’ll find not-so-nice alternatives to make himself feel good.

Sixth; Show and express that you are committed to him. Tell him frankly: “You’re my heart– my heaven, in this life, and the next, insha’allah.” Make him feel that there is this powerful bond between you two.

Seventh; Husbands try to hard to impress and please their wives. If over time, the wives don’t respond or are grateful, or show that they love the attention and care, the men will slowly turn away. A husband would climb through a window to sneak in some roses for his wife during his lunch break when she least expects it(if he could)– but if she’s like “Oh, what are you doing here? Flowers?! Go put them in the jar by the sink.” etc, it won’t just hurt her husband, it’ll make him feel angry at himself– and he’ll be less likely to try it again.

Eight; Show that you take your husband seriously. Don’t be dismissive. He loves being taken seriously (when he’s trying to be serious– not when he’s joking).